paper bag sitting there?
Well, he also just had goggles last week, so...
Okay.
That's true.
Let's try this.
I don't know how well this is going to work.
I'm going to put a link in the...
Yeah, I can't type in session, right?
So I'll just put it in session.
Or not session, in general.
I sent you a link.
What this will do, what it's supposed to do,
is record you locally on your end.
And then I can combine all of them
later when I record the podcast.
So we can try that.
If it turns into a disaster, it turns into a disaster.
So just click on that link.
I guess I will too.
I don't need this anyway.
And then just put in your
username.
What's my username?
Just whatever.
It doesn't matter.
You can put it in your call.
Sorry, Andy.
It's not a real username.
It'll make our recording sound better,
in theory.
It didn't sound bad.
In fact, mine was the one that sounded the worst.
But that's probably because I don't really use the headphones like you guys do.
If you use headphones,
and even if you use like a built-in one,
like your iPhone,
it would sound better.
Because you get the echo and stuff in yours.
But whatever.
Whatever works.
What is this now?
This thing records locally.
So I don't get the
transfer over the internet.
You know, like when it comes over the internet,
sometimes it crackles in and out.
Oh, okay.
This will make sure it gets everything.
Okay.
Catch.
So just let that run in the background?
Yeah.
Why does it change colors?
It should be changing colors to,
I don't know, like when you talk,
like,
I don't know,
what colors is it changing to?
Well, it's going from like gray to green.
Oh, yeah.
I think that's just the waveform from your voice.
There's a little animal watching it.
I think that's an otter.
Could be a meerkat.
It could be a weasel.
I think otters are a type of weasel, right?
Yeah.
Yep.
There's good old water weasels.
I thought there were marmots.
Oh, was that a reference that I didn't get?
I mean, marmot is.
I thought there were marmots.
Marmot.
Is that a real animal?
Yeah.
Yeah, they make jackets out of them.
No, that's mink.
Oh.
It is mink.
Marmots look like beavers.
You would know a beaver if it hit you in the face.
I remember she was called beavers.
Because ladies don't like that.
They might, actually.
To hit you in the face?
Yeah.
We've had very different ladies.
Shit.
Okay.
Shit.
What's that?
I don't know.
He started swearing.
I put my frappe on.
I put my frappe away.
And now it's frozen.
Oh, frappe away.
Oh, that's what frappe away means?
No.
I mean, I put it away.
I bought it earlier and then put it in the freezer.
And now it's too frozen to drink.
Oh, is that a 1664?
Yeah, it is.
I found it at a liquor store.
Nice.
That's a lot better than my bag.
What?
You don't like my bags?
Is that a reference?
Yeah, it's the Simpsons.
Remember, he's wearing those, he's wearing Wonder Bread bags on his feet.
Who?
Yeah, I know.
You froze.
Mo?
Mo.
Mo?
Yeah.
It's when he gets kicked out of.
I don't know what he's getting kicked out of, but they're like telling him he's got to
wear shoes.
Yeah.
A rat stuffed with cough drops.
What?
That's what he said.
Would you believe me if I said it was a rat stuffed with cough drops?
I think it's the same scene.
Oh, yeah.
When he was cooking food or something.
That was short.
Did you say that was short?
All right.
Let me start some music.
Origin.
In a time before the Kahuna wave, Sergeant Turbo was a young bounty hunter.
A sturdy workflow came from Teemo the Hutt.
Sometimes the work was dirty, but it paid the bills and bought the rill.
The Twi'lek was earning a reputation as a bounty hunter who could get things done and wasn't
afraid of a fight.
Max Skyblade was a smuggler with a mysterious past.
He, too, finished contracts and was starting to garner a reputation of his own as a man who
somehow may take a roundabout way to the end goal, but still cross the finish line.
Pinned down on the edge of Shanty Town, Sergeant Turbo has brought the most recent bounty to his safe house.
Now awaiting the smuggler to help bring the bounty home.
I don't think he was a lord back then.
What should it be then?
I was going to ask.
I don't even know if Max Skyblade is going by Max Skyblade at this point, and I don't know what his nickname was.
At this point, I'd say my name is just Mac.
I haven't really made my name yet.
Just Mac.
But I want to be the best smugglord that you could ever anticipate.
So, you know what?
Smugglord is a good title, you know.
Okay.
Is that something you're trying to catch on?
Oh, yeah.
So just like real life.
I have big dreams.
Like my name, Skyblade, being known throughout the galaxy.
And being a captain of my own ship.
Okay.
So, let's delete our X.
And we're going to put Sarn and Mac here at the edge of Shantytown.
Wow, you are really big on this map.
You're at the edge of Shantytown.
You're in a shack.
It's a safe house.
It's an empty house.
It's just you, Sarn.
And you have your bounty, but you don't know quite what it is.
Usually, I don't know.
What are your bounties usually like?
Because you're young at this time.
And just making your name.
Is he frozen or just thinking real hard?
Save that.
I wish I did.
I missed it already.
What?
You were just frozen in like a thought pose, but it just went on for like 10 minutes.
So, we thought you were just thinking real hard.
What are your bounties usually like, Sarn?
They're usually...
Oh, it's going to be for Teemo.
I was going to say runaway clones.
For Teemo.
Oh.
Well, you could have done that before.
Yeah.
So, before this, I was hired to bring in runaway clones.
Okay.
They abandoned their post.
Oh.
And how did you catch the attention of Teemo?
Teemo.
I was really good at it.
And just by word of mouth, you finally got...
Teemo finally called you?
No.
What was...
Oh, man.
What was that story?
Is it from the folio?
Yeah.
I was looking for my folio, but I seem to have misplaced it.
But I went home to visit my sister one time, and Teemo, knowing that, how good I was at tracking them down, decided to blackmail me into doing work for him.
Oh, so this is blackmail you're under.
My God, my Lord.
Okay.
So, at this time, your bounty is just a crate.
You were told to pick up a crate.
You had to fight your way through, but you did pick up the crate.
And you brought the crate with you.
You were dropped off.
You had a good driver of yours drop you off at the edge of Shantytown.
The place was just too hot to drop you anywhere else.
He couldn't use the landing base.
And you've been told to be careful with this particular cargo, because it's also hot.
So that's why they called in...
It better not be Wookiee Pelts.
They called in...
Yeah, origin story of the Wookiee Pelts.
They called in the Smuglord.
So you're just waiting around for the Smuglord to show up.
That's his codename.
The Smuglord?
Yes.
I gotta wait for the Smuglord to show up.
Yes.
All right.
So you will arrive, Smuglord.
I will arrive.
Yes.
I am not.
How do you think you arrived to the safe house to pick up this bounty?
I'm arriving in a messed up kind of ship.
Does that sound all right?
Or am I walking there?
Well, so you can arrive in a ship, but in order to...
So you've been told that this is hot cargo.
So you're going to have to walk it in the streets.
The crate.
You'll have to somehow get the crate across town.
You can't be flying it because they'll be looking for you.
It attracts too much attention.
All right.
So then I arrive in a speeder, but it's like a truck.
Okay.
Does that sound a little bit more feasible?
Yeah.
And on the side of it, it says...
Sidebots Laurels.
Sidebots Laurels?
That's the name of the...
It's a flower company.
That kind of laurels.
How do you spell sidebots?
Is it like the side of something?
S-I-B-A-T.
Sidebots Laurels.
Flower truck.
Okay.
And I'll say you pull up to the safe house because you have the address.
Yes.
I wrote it in my hand.
Okay.
Roll a...
Oh, we should roll destiny points.
Um...
Can I just...
Well, hold on.
Let me give them to you first.
Good.
Because that's easier because it does the...
Why?
Because you rolled like four dark sides?
One.
I forgot how to do it.
Oh.
If I don't succeed on any checks today, I quit.
I listened back.
You succeeded on none of them.
Absolutely zero.
Zero.
I cannot see the map.
Can you see the map now?
No.
Oh.
Oh, you guys are not in here.
Sorry.
I'm in here now.
You're in here now.
Andy, you'll be here in a sec.
Yeah, it's at 30%.
Okay.
I'll make...
I'll make the picture smaller.
This one happens to me big.
Oh, it might be the sound too.
Down to the street.
I'm strolling.
Matt, you gotta roll destiny points.
I don't know how to do anything.
It should be...
Oh, there you go.
All right.
So, three dark, two light.
Hey, how did you roll two?
I always roll.
Yeah, but you rolled twice.
Oh, yeah.
Let me roll again.
What?
No.
That is not how that should work.
Yeah.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
We were all good.
Oh.
That is not how that should have worked.
One more time.
Whoa.
All right.
Fine.
So, it should be two and two.
All right.
Let's trash these.
Because it was two and three, right?
It was two and two, yeah.
All right.
So, now Andy's in the map.
Mm-hmm.
He's in here now.
Yes.
Now, I do...
Oh, why didn't he do that?
I do want you, Mac, to roll just one destiny die.
Where are the destiny dies?
It's the white one.
The one right now here by public roll?
Yeah.
If you click on that, then you should be able to roll...
Well, it's called a force die.
Just one?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay, DarkSign.
Okay.
When you pull up, something is wrong.
You can't quite read the last number in the address.
All right.
So, I'm kind of driving around, kind of confused.
Now, if this was me in real life, I'd be really panicking.
Like, like...
Like, gosh.
Yeah, but this is not...
This is not you in real life.
I sometimes feel like this is me.
All right.
So, I'm in the shanty town, and I'm looking around, and I just...
What do I do?
I don't know what to do.
Well, okay.
So, you're on the right block.
There's not a lot of houses on the block.
There's two that have lights on, one that does not have lights on, and all of the shades drawn.
Oh, okay.
So, I'm going to go to the house that has lights on, and knock on the door.
Okay.
So, you knock on the door, and to the door comes this Geonosian in a bathrobe.
Oh, goodness.
Who is it?
Hello, sir.
I'm Mac.
I'm from Cybots Laurels.
I'm looking for a...
Cybots Laurels?
I don't...
What is Cybots Laurels?
What's a Laurel?
It's kind of a plant.
A plant?
I don't want a plant.
What are you doing here?
I'm looking for a...
And then he slams the door in your face.
All right.
That sounds just about...
Well, ain't this just a howdy do?
All right.
I hear the commotion, and I knock on the inside of my door.
So, he can hear it.
So, you hear some knocking coming from the house in the middle, which has no lights on.
Excuse me, sir?
Or, madam?
I'm looking for a...
A two, eight, four...
Maybe that's a zero.
Or a six.
I don't know.
Maybe this might be Trandoshan.
I can't really tell.
All right.
You're still inside, though, right, Sarn?
Yeah.
Okay.
So, yeah.
Who sent you?
I'm supposed to deliver...
Oh, so, wait.
Wait.
Hold on.
You guys are up, like, talking to each other now?
Yes.
You let him in.
Hold on.
No.
Through the door.
Oh, you're talking through the door.
Okay.
Sorry.
I was confused.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm sent by a Mr. Hunt.
I'm trying to be discreet.
Um, it's for a delivery?
Oh, I'm supposed to deliver...
Yeah, I think you're supposed to pick something up to deliver.
Yeah.
Some call me...
The Smuglord.
All right.
You're not alone enough.
Coler, I'm back.
Oh.
Yes, sir.
Not a sir.
Yes.
Ma'am.
Not a ma'am.
All right, then.
All right.
So, Mac walks around the back, and you let him in?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
So, Saran lets him in.
All right.
What's the cargo?
But I've got my hand on the Mike Blaster the whole time.
Okay.
All right.
And I've got my hand on my Blaster the whole time.
You both say out loud.
Yeah.
That's how we're going to play this game?
It's that crate right there, and I point to the crate.
All right.
Well, you know what's in it?
As you point to the crate, the crate starts moving violently back and forth.
All right.
Hey, you want to open this crate?
I mean...
Don't tempt me with a good time.
All right.
I go to attempt to open the crate.
Okay.
He's going to need some kind of check.
Yeah.
How are you going to try to open it?
I mean, there's a couple ways, right?
Yeah.
I think I'm just going to open it with a...
Oh, no.
I probably shouldn't do a crowbar in case of I damage it.
Ow.
God damn it.
Can't...
Oh.
Take that.
Use a computer on the...
Or not...
Use the little keypad.
Okay.
So that'd be a computer's check, I'd say.
Oh, okay.
And let's say...
It's...
What?
An average?
Average?
Yeah.
Why not?
God damn it.
It starts...
Did you fail it?
Yes.
Why do we even do the rolls?
Right?
Just tell me I failed.
Yeah.
How many...
Do you have any advantages or threats?
I didn't see it.
No.
It's just...
No.
Just a wash.
Just a...
Just a failure?
Okay.
So...
Yeah.
It's a wash.
So...
Okay.
So it continues...
It continues to rock back and forth.
Even though you couldn't get in.
And it's starting to...
So it's a big-ish...
A big-ish crate.
It's like...
I don't know.
About like half the size of a refrigerator.
And...
I kick it out of anger.
Yeah.
I don't know if that's a good idea.
I kick it again out of anger.
You hear...
You hear it just yell out...
Ow!
Please let me out!
It says.
I kick it again.
Ow!
I think there's something in there.
Ow!
Yes, there's something in there.
Um...
Yes, there's something in there, you smug dork.
Roll a...
Um...
Back.
Roll a knowledge check.
An easy knowledge check.
Where is knowledge at?
Um...
Oh, it's gonna be...
Yeah, because it's probably...
It's got all the different ones.
Uh, we'll say it's Underworld.
Okay, and then just easy?
So that's two, right?
Yes.
No, easy is one.
Oh, shit.
Should I re-roll?
Yeah, re-roll it with one.
No, you gotta try...
You gotta triumph!
I re-roll a jerk-off.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
All right, so you rolled it...
Oh, you gotta triumph.
And you rolled it against two,
so it still succeeded.
Okay, that...
No, that's fine.
We don't have to re-roll it.
All right, so you remember...
Um...
So as your success,
you remember from having been locked
in a similar crate before
that there's a release handle
in there somewhere,
and that it's glow-in-the-dark,
kind of like a trunk.
Me?
Uh, and...
Yeah, yeah.
Um, Mac.
You remember that.
Um, and then you may spend...
spend your triumph as you want.
All right.
Um...
I...
push the...
I'm like,
you see here,
the trick is,
and I do a...
you can't...
complicated gesture on the side
that you can't really see.
And then my triumph is that
I then kick it myself,
and the top opens a trunk.
Okay, so then...
It's kind of like...
It's kind of cool to watch,
and that's like the only cool thing.
It's kind of like the Fonz,
where I just...
Is that Fonz with the jukebox?
Yeah.
With the crate.
I just kick,
and like...
It's just like this.
Deet, deet, deet, deet, deet,
and then kick,
and then the thing opens.
Okay, and then...
That's how you kick a box.
The box pops open,
and inside...
uh, comes out...
No, let me...
This creature.
It's this...
little...
little creature.
Um...
It's...
It's short...
and...
fat.
Um...
And it looks at you...
Um...
And it's just confused...
and lost.
Huh.
Hello?
Look at that.
Hello?
Uh, thank you for letting me out of there.
I really, really have to go to the bathroom.
Don't have one in there?
Uh...
No.
There's no bathroom in here.
It's just me and my pet cat.
And...
He's holding...
He's holding this pet Loth cat.
Which I don't have a picture of in here.
Um...
Those are pretty cool.
Um...
But...
I...
Yeah.
Um...
It's a small little cat.
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna create a character, though.
Oh my god.
They look terrifying.
The Loth cat?
Yeah.
At least the picture I found.
Oh.
Uh-oh.
Something's going...
Oh.
I mean, it's...
It's a baby cat.
It's a baby Loth cat.
Oh.
Um...
Oh.
Wow.
That's a nice kitten.
Alright.
And...
You're not sorry.
Yeah.
You guys keep freezing.
Do you want to call back from your phone, maybe?
No.
Okay.
We'll...
We'll roll with it.
And he's holding this...
This baby cat.
Uh...
This baby Loth cat.
Um...
And he says...
It's just been me and Wallace in there this whole time.
Wallace?
Wallace.
I don't know.
But I really need to go to the bathroom.
What a ridiculous name for a cat.
Wallace.
I go and I grab the...
It's a family name.
I grab Wallace out of his arms.
Ah!
That's the only thing I have left.
What'd you do?
To the cat.
Why?
You took Wallace.
So he can go to the bathroom.
Oh, God.
Where...
Where should I go?
Pick a corner.
Okay.
So...
Uh...
So...
He walks over there...
And...
Um...
Starts to...
Excrete fluids.
Um...
I go...
I go over to...
The Sarn.
But I don't know who his name is.
I...
So, uh...
What's your...
What's your name?
Wallace.
What?
You're breaking up.
Wallace.
No, what?
I'm talking to you.
Yeah.
Wallace.
That's a cat's name.
I heard him name the cat.
We both have the same name.
Okay.
Wallace.
If that's your real name.
And as you say that, then...
I'm here to smuggle for you.
The kid...
The kid comes back.
You're doing a really bad job so far.
You guys are breaking up.
You're both breaking up on me.
I think the first rule of smuggling is don't open the crates.
You were opening it up first.
I was just joining along with you.
Yeah.
I'm not a smuggler.
I'm a bounty hunter.
I did you...
Is this not your bounty?
Aren't we supposed to be transporting this?
No.
I captured the crate.
Oh, you captured the crate?
Yes.
Well, aren't we supposed to be delivering this to Teemo?
Yeah.
Don't say his name so loud.
I got neighbors.
Mr. Hut?
That does not make it any better.
You're a very hostile individual, aren't you?
Andy, maybe that other program is slowing your connection down.
You can close that window I sent to you.
The pop-out window, too?
Yeah.
Just go ahead and close that.
We'll do what we can without it.
It's not that big of a deal.
Yeah.
Hopefully that helps your connection.
Yeah.
I hope so, but...
But it was kind of doing it before, too.
Just not as often.
Okay.
If you want to drop out and drop back in, you can do that, too.
All right.
We'll see what this does.
Okay.
So last I heard, Mac says, my name is Mac.
I'm a smuggler.
I'm here to help you.
All right.
Well, I don't know why you opened the crate.
Because it was hot.
It was hot in there.
And I needed to go to the bathroom.
What are you talking about?
You were acting like you were going to open the crate, too.
I don't know why you think it's a big deal.
I was opening the crate for you.
I knew I was going to fail.
Blue thing.
What's your name?
Don't call me thing.
My name is...
Is Bed Bebo.
Okay, Bed Bebo.
Get back in the crate.
I don't want to go back in there.
I don't care.
It's hot in there.
Okay.
Probably because you got a cat in there with you.
Sensing your anger and curtness, the cat starts growling at you.
Don't make me get the spray bottle.
Don't.
He hates spray bottles.
Yes, I know.
That's why it's a threat, Bebo.
You're not very nice.
I never claimed to be nice.
And he slinks over and sits down Indian style in the crate.
Okay.
Well, I guess I'll just be in this crate.
All right.
Thanks for letting me out, Mr. Mac.
I give back Wallace.
Oh, you have Wallace.
That's right.
I forgot.
Well, thank you for giving me my cat back.
I gave a little yank on his tail.
Yeah.
All right.
We should box him back up.
Right?
Mac.
I knock it.
I knock the lid down and it just locks automatically.
Oh, I did not expect you to agree.
Oh, close.
Yeah.
I closed it.
Oh, you hear from inside the box.
Sorry, buddy.
Got to make that money.
All right.
We should get this into what are you driving?
I have a speeder truck.
It's pretty sharp.
It's absolutely mine.
I took it and it's mine.
I don't believe any of that.
I would have believed you if you didn't say it was yours and that you didn't take it.
It's a, what's it called?
The possession is nine tenths of law, buddy.
And I own nine tenths of that truck.
Still working off on paying the paint.
But it's, uh, it'll do the job.
All right.
Well, then I think we should probably put, uh, this crate into the speeder truck.
All right.
Well, I'm going to go get it.
So I go out and I go get it.
And I back, yeah, the truck.
I got to go back it in.
And, uh, is there, um, a coordination for backing the truck up?
Uh, let's say it's an easy coordination check.
Oh, no.
Oh, that's good.
What is it?
Uh, one, two successes and one advantage.
Okay.
As you back the truck up, um, you are successful.
And is there anything you'd like to do with your advantage?
Um, not really.
Okay.
I moved the crate.
I turned on the mag lifts on the crate to move it towards the door.
And I open the door and go, man, you got that, that truck right back up to the door.
You must be really good at this.
Yeah.
My advantage is that Sarn is our, our, our Wallace likes me.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
Because you think his name is Wallace.
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean, any idiot could have done it, but decent job.
Thanks.
I guess.
All right.
Help me a little discrate inside.
Alrighty.
Let's move a crate.
Okay.
Awesome thing.
These mag lifts.
Makes it a lot easier to move.
Um, okay.
So you've loaded, you've loaded the truck and you start driving off down.
I sit back with the cargo though.
Okay.
So it's like a box truck or not a box truck though.
It's kind of like a van.
Oh, okay.
So there's a door in between.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Not like a door, but like a thing.
So you can talk like a prison guard.
Okay.
Or like a limo kind of window.
But I was thinking more like those, those big armor trucks that they use in the movies to transport prisoners.
But they had the little door that opened.
My truck?
Does that sound like your truck?
My truck is painted white and has a flower on it.
Okay.
What does that have to do with the inside of it though?
Oh yeah.
Does that doesn't matter?
Does that matter?
Okay.
Um.
All right.
So you're, you're, you're driving, you're driving across, um, shantytown and you're moving, you're moving across into greater shantytown.
Uh, cause you're out at the outskirts.
And as you, you move in, uh, across the bridge, you're stopped by, um, two, um, stormtroopers.
And, um, you, you pull the truck over and they come to the window and they say, and they're on either window.
Hello, citizen.
Um, stormtrooper?
Stormtrooper?
Hello, citizen.
Uh, identification, please.
Uh, here you go.
Okay.
And he pulls it up.
And what does the identification say?
It says, uh, Max Skyblade.
And, uh.
Wait, no, you didn't even have the name Skyblade yet.
No, no, I do.
It's, uh, uh, it's.
Max Solo.
No, Max Von Skyblade.
Okay.
I just haven't.
I'm still trying to get my name popular out there.
It's just that, that's my new, that's, it's just not popular yet.
I'm still calling myself Max Skyblade, but everyone's just calling me Mac right now.
Okay.
Uh, Mr. Von Skibleed?
That's correct.
Von Skibleed.
What brings you to Shantytown?
Uh, just delivering some flowers.
Do you have a delivery?
Do you have anything in the back?
Yes.
Flowers.
Do you mind if we take a look?
Uh, these are not the flowers you're looking for.
Um, I'm not looking for flowers, but I wanted to make sure that your story checks out.
There's a lot of suspicious things going on here.
Okay.
So I have to tell you, sir, these flowers are not your typical flowers.
I'm delivering them to the huts and they're, I mean, I'm just doing business with them, but they order some really foul smelling flowers.
You don't want to open up these trucks.
Uh, they, they, the, the, the huts don't, they don't have, they don't smell very good.
Deception.
Of course.
Uh, difficulty regular?
Um, I don't know.
What is, what is the vigilance on a stormtrooper?
I'm glad I had a stormtrooper in here.
Stop.
Uh, let's say it's average.
Well, there's two of them.
So we'll say it's one yellow and one purple.
Not yellow, red.
One yellow, one red, one purple.
That's right.
Sorry.
Yeah.
One red, one purple.
Jack succeeded.
He said, you know what?
I've smelled the hut before.
They don't smell very good.
You know what they say?
Huts smell like butts.
Am I right?
And they wave you through.
All right.
Take it easy, guys.
Dog trooper.
I opened a little window and go.
Well, after we drove, drive off a little bit.
I opened and go.
That was a really good job.
Um, don't ever say another pun again.
Yes, sir.
Not a sir.
Not a ma'am.
I slammed the door shut.
Oh, this is going to be a fun trip.
Okay.
Um, you keep driving.
You keep driving through shantytown, but you realize there's an increased, like, police presence around.
And.
You're breaking up a lot.
It just looks generally just kind of dangerous.
There's a big police presence around?
Oh, I am.
Yeah, it's like you're, you're, you're, you almost look like you're a robot.
Because, like, you're just, like, jerky.
That's cool.
Except not as cool.
I mean, it's like, you know, it'd be cool if I wasn't missing out on half of what you're saying.
Oh, thanks.
Um.
Have I caught up, maybe?
Yeah, you're fine.
Less jittery.
Yeah, you're better now.
Hopefully it sticks.
Um, it just, there's just increased, uh, police presence in, in shantytown.
Um.
You drive through.
Um.
Let's see.
Roll.
I don't know.
What?
Anything else from your point of view that you.
The planetary?
There's, um, piloting, planetary, or space.
Um.
So I assume planetary means like you're on the planet.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
You could, you could roll that.
It's, uh.
I don't know.
I, I, I, um.
An easy, easy piloting.
Planetary pilot.
Planetary.
Planetary piloting.
Who's, you're still driving, right, Mac?
Of course.
Yeah.
So do I do that?
Yeah.
Roll, roll, um.
Roll an easy, easy piloting.
Planetary.
Uh.
Planetary.
I somehow failed.
Okay.
Oh, you're gonna like everything.
Yeah, that's kind of weird.
Uh.
As you're driving, um, you're gathering attention.
Um.
It's, you're just driving slightly differently than people usually drive there.
Uh, and it's, it's gathering attention.
Oh.
Uh.
Do you want me to drive?
I opened the little one.
Oh, you want me to drive?
I'm better at planetary driving.
No, I've got it.
I got it.
I just, you know, I gotta get used to these kind of, uh, these vehicles, you know?
Yeah, you know, it's, uh, it's not like the speeder bike I used to have.
These things, uh, they take a little bit of a...
All right, shut the door.
Thank you, sir.
Not, I'm gonna pick up, not a sir and slam it again.
Yes, ma'am.
I hate you.
Okay.
You, you continue to drive through Shantytown.
Um.
You, you do get through it successfully, even though that.
You are gathering some attention.
Yeah.
And you're leaving Shantytown.
Your directions were to, um, stop at the cantina with the package.
Um.
As you, as you go through the bridge, um, before you enter the bridge, you, you pull over and roll a knowledge.
Um, Mac.
Uh, it'll be a knowledge.
It'll be Underworld.
Underworld!
What, uh, anything else?
Difficulty to regular?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay, so, so, so succeeded.
You know that when you, when you enter Mashuta, um, they're going to search your flower truck.
Um, so you will have to do something.
Otherwise, they're going to find this bounty.
And you've been told that this package is particularly hot and that you can't let authorities know about it.
So, I pull over and I pull the mouse out.
And I open up, and I open up the doors and try and talk with Saren and explain, or not Saren, Wallace.
Wallace.
And explain the situation.
That, uh, they're going to start searching the place so that, um, we might have to pull the, the guy out and have him act like he's with us, maybe.
Uh, to get through.
Why would he agree to this?
Because you're going to have a gun to his back.
Where are the flowers?
Oh, we don't need flowers.
We're going to go get them.
Okay.
That's what the empty crate's for.
I'm getting flowers.
You just have to, we'll have him sit in the middle between the two of us.
You keep your gun to his back, and we'll just kind of like, you know, go through.
Um.
No, he sat, he sat Indian style in the crate.
I think if we just sit in the back, and I have my back against like the, like where the cab is.
And he sits there, I can just have it pointed at his back.
The whole time.
All right.
Does he have papers?
Do you have papers?
You'll have to ask him.
All right.
Well, let's open the.
I kick the crate.
Go Bebo.
Hi.
Thank you for opening the crate.
It's very hot in there.
Yes, we've heard.
It's very, it's very hot.
Yes, we've heard.
I got it.
You sound like Woody Allen.
I thought you were going to say, uh, Mort from Family Guy.
That's why I'm getting that one.
He's the same thing.
Yeah.
It's very hot in there.
My paws are dry.
Uh.
It's very hot in there.
Thank you for opening.
It's.
I was just getting sweaty in there.
And I tell you, I think Wallace is a little scared.
Well, listen here, bud.
We got to go pass through a checkpoint.
We don't think we're going to be able to get by without you.
With, uh, without with you and our trunk.
So you're going to sit up here with the big boys right now.
And we're going to go through this checkpoint.
You're going to act like you're with us.
Do you have papers on you?
I don't have papers.
I was, um.
Kidnapped.
Uh, and they just threw me into a crate.
Uh.
Yeah, I don't.
I don't have papers.
Well.
I didn't think this through.
All right.
Um.
What if I could I, can I forge papers?
Is that something?
Can I do?
We have any light side points or something?
I didn't even look.
Um.
That's something.
Could I come with like.
You.
You're.
You're a smuggler.
And you're on a smuggling job.
It wouldn't.
I think that you can make the case that you would have.
Like blank papers on you.
That's what I was thinking.
You know.
How do I come with blank papers?
Does that cost me a point?
Or is that going to.
Yeah.
That will.
That will cost you.
I think.
A light side point.
Okay.
All right.
Well then.
So then.
What do you tell the kid?
All right.
Listen here.
Put your thumb on this.
On this pad.
I have like a electronic pad.
Okay.
And then.
He puts his thumb on it.
Or his hand.
Oh.
That.
That's cold.
Yeah.
It's kind of.
This is going to set everything up.
Well you were open and you were hot.
So be thankful.
I was.
I'm just saying the surface of that screen was kind of cold.
It's kind of neat.
Now I got to fill in some extra information from you.
What's your name?
My name is.
Bebop.
No.
It's.
It's bed.
Bebo.
All right.
Bebop.
Um.
Your new name's Bebop.
Oh.
What planet are you from?
I'm from Orlin.
Orlin.
And uh.
Why were you picked up and thrown into a crate?
Uh.
I don't know.
I really don't know why I was picked up.
Okay then.
I think it might be because of my father.
Who's your father?
Is it the cat?
Well he's well known.
No.
The cat's not my father.
He's just my pet.
Well who's your father?
Do we know him?
Do you know whose father is Wallace?
Not the youth.
Not the cat.
No.
Who's your father?
Um.
My father's name is.
Bebo.
No I'm Bebo.
Oh.
I know what you're thinking.
It's a family thing.
I thought Wallace was a family thing.
Wallace is also a family thing.
We're not very creative us Orlin.
Or Orlinians.
Orlinians huh?
Bebo?
Bebo and Bebo.
Do I know?
Do I know who those people are?
Are they supposed to be?
How famous are these people supposed to be?
Uh.
Roll a easy.
Outer rim check.
One of you.
Well both of you roll it.
Outer rim check?
Yeah.
Hey.
I succeeded.
Me too.
Okay.
Yes.
Woo.
Um.
I got a threat though.
Finally.
Over something so inconsequential.
You guys.
You guys both know Bob Bebo.
Who is.
Um.
He's a famous musician.
Um.
He plays in jizz bands.
Wait.
Your dad.
Is Bob Bebo?
Yes.
Oh my god.
Bob Bebo.
Um.
Oh my god.
Yes.
I was just listening to your music.
Did you not even hear me?
I just had it on the way over here.
I swear to Christ.
Well it's not.
It's not my music.
It's my father's music.
Um.
Yeah.
I get this a lot.
Uh.
Yeah.
He's got a lot of money.
And.
And yeah.
I'm.
I'm his son.
And well I've never been kidnapped before.
So this is new for me.
But it's not great.
Wow.
It'll get better.
That's incredible.
Uh.
Well.
First.
First kidnapping is always the worst.
Yep.
Well.
And the.
The threat that you've rolled Sarn Turbo.
Is that.
You've seen him.
On the side of a carton.
Of blue milk.
Um.
Oh.
He is missing.
And there's.
A reward for him.
Oh.
You gotta put fake names on that paperback.
Oh.
Uh.
Yeah.
Uh.
I'll just go ahead and.
Uh.
Do that.
Alright.
What's up?
Wait.
Hold on.
You're gonna give me a new name?
Just.
Your.
Your new name is.
Rock.
Stead Eye.
Stead Eye?
Um.
Oh.
Wait.
Can I pick.
Can I pick a new name?
No.
Rock.
Stead Eye.
It's a pretty good name.
Please.
Please let me pick the new name.
Please let me pick my new name.
Wallace.
Nope.
Rock.
Stead Eye.
I am enough Wallace in here.
No.
I'll pick another one.
Please let me pick again.
Alright.
You can be Rock.
Stead Eye.
No.
I want to be a new one.
I want to be a different one.
Can I be Frankenstein?
What?
I want to be Frankenstein.
Um.
I think it's pronounced Frank Frankenstein.
I pronounce it Frankenstein.
Well you're wrong.
You're wrong.
It's fake.
Oh.
Okay.
I'll be Frankenstein.
Can I be Frankenstein?
Yes.
Thank you Mr. Mac.
Deception.
I write down what I wrote down initially.
I mean you're not rolling the deception against anyone.
Okay.
But I'm definitely.
Alright.
Okay.
So.
Um.
Okay.
So now what?
You've written the papers for him.
Yep.
Uh.
Alright.
Everybody in the truck.
Uh.
Blue guy.
Get with your cat.
In the middle.
Uh.
Green guy.
Over there with your gun.
And I'll uh.
Mac guy.
Over here.
I can't just be pointing a gun at him when the stormtroopers come up.
I mean just have it in your pocket.
It's a rifle.
It's a rifle?
Don't you have a blaster?
A carbine.
Uh.
Do I have a blaster?
I have a blaster.
You can just take mine for a time.
And use that.
The heat bottom.
Alright.
I take Mac's pistol.
It's a very dumb move.
But alright.
And then.
Uh.
Um.
Bev jumps on your lap.
And sits on your lap.
On my lap?
Are you.
Yeah.
Are you my new mommy?
Here's the.
No.
You think that's a bad idea.
But I gave you the one with the.
The busted safety.
Oh no.
That's terrible for me Babu.
Okay.
Um.
So.
Okay.
So Bev jumps into your lap.
And sits on your lap.
You're.
You're still in the back.
Right?
Sarn.
Sarn's lap.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Okay.
Um.
So me.
Me.
Me and Bebo.
Are in the back of the truck.
It's Bebo.
His dad is Bebo.
Okay.
Bebo and I are in the back of the truck.
Okay.
And I'm driving.
Casually.
Okay.
And you.
You get up to the end.
And.
Um.
The storm.
The.
When you pull up to the.
The checkpoint.
There's four stormtroopers.
Um.
And one comes up to your car.
And says.
Papers please.
Uh.
Officer.
Uh.
Thank you.
Mr.
Von.
Ski born.
Ski.
That's correct.
Ski born.
That's correct.
Ski born.
Um.
I like that.
Is this.
Is this your truck.
Mr.
Ski born.
Uh.
Yeah.
It's definitely mine.
Okay.
All right.
That's a strange response.
Uh.
Can we search.
Your car please.
Uh.
Sure.
I don't have anything in it right now.
I'm actually on a way to pick up a delivery.
Uh.
Some flowers.
Some pretty flowers.
Uh.
But I got my two work assistants here.
Okay.
Uh.
Yeah.
And.
Do they have papers?
Yeah.
Do you guys have your papers?
Guys.
As.
As he's talking to you.
There's.
There's three more stormtroopers that come by and start searching like under the car.
Uh.
They open the back and start looking through.
So it's four plus seven?
Or is it the.
The three from the original group?
Three from the original group.
Yeah.
And they start looking through.
Can.
Can we have your papers ma'am?
Yes.
You may.
Ma'am.
The one in the back.
The green one.
Oh.
I'm not a ma'am.
But whatever you are.
Give me your papers.
I show him the bounty hunter's.
Uh.
Guild.
Seal.
That I carry.
And what are you doing in the back of a flower truck?
We're going to get flowers.
Are bounties really that slow?
You're now picking up flowers?
Yeah.
I never said I was good.
I need.
I need a moonlight.
You're in.
You're in the guild.
The flower industry.
You could say the flower industry is very bountiful.
Uh.
That does not fit.
That does not fit the con.
That does not fit the context.
Oh.
The flower industry is bountiful.
Yeah.
Bountiful.
Oh.
It's a joke.
Oh.
I see.
I make jokes.
Hmm.
Yeah.
You're a very delightful delivery driver.
And that blue thing.
Um.
Do you have papers?
Yes, I do.
My name is Frankenstein.
He's a.
Okay.
Listen.
Frankenstein.
Please.
Please hand over your papers.
I get them to.
I take the papers from him and give them to you.
He's a very.
He looks at the.
He's a very dull child.
These papers say.
Your name is.
Rock Steedy.
That's his real name.
I don't.
Just ignore him.
Just call him Frankenstein.
Yes.
You're Frankenstein.
He's just a weird kid.
Don't.
Don't pay any attention to him.
He's had a.
Okay.
Roll a deception check.
Of course.
Uh.
Average.
Oh my God.
That doesn't seem to check out.
Also.
Frankenstein sounds like a fake name as well.
It's a.
It's his nickname.
It's a family name.
It's not a family name.
It's a nickname.
Oh.
You have no family.
Oh.
Did something happen to them?
So.
Wallace.
Shut him up.
Uh.
No.
Your family.
I whisper in his ear.
Rock and Sheen.
Shut the.
Up.
Right now.
Oh.
You're right.
And he says to you.
He whispers back to you.
Oh yeah.
You're right.
My name is Rock and Sheen.
I thought it was Frankenstein.
This is why you just need to be quiet.
I'm sorry.
My name is Rock and Sheen.
No.
Oh my God.
Well.
It says Rock and Sheen.
I really don't know what you guys.
I mean there's nothing in your truck.
So I don't really have time to fool around with you guys.
And he waves you on.
Go on officer.
Stormtrooper.
Get in the crate.
I don't want to go in the crate.
I said my name.
I said my name was Rock and Sheen.
You listen.
You listen to Wallace.
You had one job and you almost busted us out.
Get him in the crate.
Get in the crate.
I don't want to go back in there.
Do it or I will shoot your cat.
Oh not the cat.
Wallace.
Can Wallace come in the crate with me?
He's in.
He does kind of like the crate.
They didn't ask for papers on the damn cat.
But he would have done a better job than you.
Now get in there.
Oh.
And you.
You're a terrible terrible child.
And he's.
How long is this the episode that Ryan's on here.
Now we're picking on a child.
Okay.
So you.
You put.
He jumps into the crate.
And sits.
Indian style.
And folds his hands.
Says.
Okay.
I guess I'll see you guys later.
Shut up.
Shut the crate.
I put the crate on there.
Or the lid up back on the crate.
Okay.
Lock it.
Okay.
This.
Oh listen.
Wallace.
Man.
Kids right.
There's one thing I think we can bond over.
It's.
That guy's a jerk.
That guy.
Is a fucking idiot.
Hey.
What a fuck.
I told you.
I gave him one job.
One job.
Is just to give himself.
You know how many names I have.
How many names I have to come remember all the damn time.
And he came to remember.
You know how many names I have.
How many.
You don't even know my real name.
It's not Wallace.
No.
Deception.
I knew it.
On who.
No.
I'm just kidding.
Sorry.
I interrupted the flow.
Did you steal that name from the cat?
Yeah.
It was just moment.
You know.
Just the right.
Set at the right time.
Can I have the pleasure of your real name?
No.
All right.
Man.
You keep calling me Wallace.
All right.
So you guys keep.
Keep strolling through.
And you're noticing the increased.
Police presence.
And.
You drive up to the cantina.
Where.
Parking is.
Very scarce.
No.
I'm not going to make you roll for parking.
As soon as you say it like that.
It sounds really boring.
So let's say that.
You park your.
You park your speeder truck.
On top of another speeder truck.
Which is something you can do.
Because there's no wheels.
And whatever.
Gravity.
But it's.
And it's.
But it's generally considered.
Not.
Parking.
Yeah.
It's a dick move.
The only one.
Everyone's one level.
And then there's one flower truck.
On top.
Of a car.
In a handicapped space.
Um.
Yeah.
Roll.
Roll a.
Perception check.
Yeah.
Someone.
It could be.
It could be either of you.
I'll.
I'll roll a perception.
Do you want me to roll a perception?
Yeah.
Uh.
Oh.
And.
Rolling.
Um.
Average.
All right.
You succeed.
Okay.
Um.
You see.
Oh.
There's two threats.
Okay.
Um.
You notice in the back.
There is a.
Um.
A band.
Yeah.
It's a loading dock.
And it's being.
Loaded.
Right now.
With music equipment.
All right.
So.
I tell.
The two threats are.
You don't have.
Musical equipment.
And.
That's the only thing.
Being loaded on this dock.
We can.
But we have a crate.
Filled with the.
Best.
Musical equipment ever.
Are we.
T-Mobile's place?
No.
You're at.
It's a cantina.
That's where you were told to make the exchange.
Okay.
All right.
Mac.
Pull up into the loading bay.
Back up into the loading bay.
So we can unload.
All right.
Our musical equipment.
All right.
Got it.
Backing up.
It's excellent.
Backing up skills.
Backing up.
Okay.
You're back.
Back there.
Waving me in.
All right.
So I backed up.
Okay.
You guys are in the back of the cantina.
They're loading in musical equipment.
There are.
Three.
Gamorrean.
Not three.
Two Gamorrean guards back there.
Just making sure that.
No rough stuff is happening.
All right.
So then we open the door.
We.
Oh.
I guess I might as well move.
We.
The crate.
Okay.
Onto the.
The loading dock.
And we start.
We just kind of like.
We wait.
For the.
The musical.
Crew.
Or the.
People unload the musical.
Instruments.
And we just kind of blend in with them.
As we go in.
Yeah.
I start nodding my head.
Hold on.
Or.
Toe.
I'm looking to see what.
It's called.
Hold on.
Not.
But.
Okay.
All right.
So.
So you move up there.
And.
He says.
You.
You pull it up to the door.
And it says.
You guys don't look familiar.
What's in the box?
A drum set.
Then why.
Then why is it moving?
It's a.
You go.
You both look back.
And it's.
The.
The crate is rocking.
It's an auto tune.
It's an auto tune drum set.
Auto tune drum set.
Yeah.
It plays.
It plays itself.
Deception.
It plays itself.
And.
As you.
As you say that.
Um.
You hear.
Muffle.
Muffles coming from.
The crate.
And.
Yeah.
Uh.
He says.
We don't.
Take.
Auto tune.
Drum sets here.
This is.
Uh.
A human.
Performer.
Sort of joint.
And there's.
It's shaking.
And the Gamorrean guard.
Is starting to look around it.
And he says.
It's a special order.
A special order.
Yes.
There's a birthday party.
Next month.
Book tier.
Why.
Why is it saying.
Let me out.
It's just.
It's one of its songs.
That it's trying to learn.
And.
Let me out.
It's going to be a jam.
I swear.
All right.
And.
But.
As.
As you say that.
The.
The crate.
Pops open.
And.
Bed Beboe pops out.
And he says.
Let me out of here.
Oh.
Is that a.
Is that an organ?
Is that a space organ?
As it.
He looks.
And a space organ is being.
Brought into the place.
I walk up to him.
And I.
Pistol whip him.
With Max.
Broken safety pistol.
To knock him out.
Uh.
Okay.
Um.
Let's say.
It's a.
Hard.
That would be.
A.
Raw.
Melee.
I think.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Jack Bell.
So you.
So you hit him.
He goes.
Ow.
My name is Rockenstein.
And.
You fight.
You got it right.
Way too late.
Shut.
Up.
Kid.
Hey.
What are you giving that kid a problem for?
Are you an Ortolan?
You look like an Ortolan.
And the kid says.
Yes.
I'm an Ortolan.
He said.
I.
And I.
I come rushing up.
And I go.
I got.
Have we got a surprise for you?
You.
You thought the auto tune.
Listen.
We're trying to get that by you.
I won't lie to you.
But this.
This.
Is.
What was his dad's name again?
Bebo.
This is.
This is the.
Bob Bebo.
This is Bob Bebo.
I'm.
Oh.
Yes.
I mean.
Yeah.
That's.
That's true.
He says.
You're Bob Bebo.
This is a kid.
You.
Are Bob Bebo.
This is a kid.
Can you play.
Space.
Oh yeah.
You're right.
Bet.
Um.
You do look like Bob Bebo.
Yeah.
I'm Bet Bebo though.
And he says.
Well.
Uh.
You don't play the.
Space organ.
Do you?
Uh.
And he says.
Well.
My dad has been making me.
Play the space organ.
Ever since I was.
Well.
Two parsecs.
And.
The guy says.
Well.
Uh.
I'll let you in.
But.
Could you do me a real big.
I'm a huge Bob Bebo fan.
Could you play a couple of licks for us.
Uh.
Maybe.
And he says.
Well.
Yeah.
I guess I could.
Do you have a place I can go to the bathroom.
He said.
You just went.
I gotta go again.
I'm sorry.
And.
As you look in the crate.
There are.
Ten.
Empty bottles.
Of Kool-Aid.
Why?
Who packed.
All this Kool-Aid for you?
They told me to take all of my favorite possessions.
So you took the cat.
And ten bottles of Kool-Aid?
I'm like eight earth years old.
I thought you were two parsecs.
No.
I've been playing since I was two parsecs.
I've been playing the space organ.
Oh.
Right.
And I've been flying since I was ten miles old.
Really?
How many is a mile?
What?
How many is a mile?
Oh.
Space mile.
Oh.
Well.
Then I guess you're two.
What are you?
His bodyguards or something?
Yeah.
Definitely.
Bodyguards.
All right.
Bodyguards.
And.
Yeah.
Teartakers.
That's why he was able to pistol whip him.
Because.
You know.
His dad gave us the right to kind of give this kid shit.
This kid.
You let him do whatever you want.
You know how kids these are these days.
You know.
What do you mean?
I feel like I've been behaving pretty well.
You pissed all over the crate.
You put me in a crate.
That was your special crate.
I had to go to the back.
You didn't want to keep your cat.
Against your father's wishes.
We let you bring the cat.
Your father wanted to keep that cat at home.
You should have ate it.
While scrawls at you.
All right.
Um.
Oh.
I guess I do.
I probably do have a cantina map.
Don't I?
Yeah.
All right.
He lets you into the back.
And.
Basically to the backstage area.
Of the cantina.
And.
Let me activate this.
And I'm going to go.
I'm going to go get a.
Whiskey.
While Andy.
Andy's computer loads this map.
I'm going to pee.
While Andy's computer loads this map.
Hey.
It's loaded.
Doodoo.
Thank you.
Yeah, I think you're right.
Oh, boy.
There's a dead something here.
Marmot?
No, no, it's not the apartment.
Oh, there he is.
He has some stuff left over from the last time we were on this map.
Oh, what a...
Like, like, like, like, uh, Starbass.
We want to piss him.
There he is.
What about Starbass?
He's...
His picture's still on there.
Oh, fucking Starbass.
Yeah, he's dead.
He's, like, super dead.
You guys killed him a lot.
He's dead.
I killed him, I feel.
Oh, and the bartender's still there.
Yeah.
What's his name, Zach?
Zach.
No, Zach was the one...
No, it was Zach.
It was this one?
Oh, yeah, this one was Zach.
Okay.
The other one, I don't think we got a name.
One of them, his name was Victor, but it might have been a different...
I think it was the first bartender at this cantina.
Okay.
Oh, his boo is away.
Oh, he's there.
All right.
You guys ready?
Yes.
Okay.
So you're backstage, and you peek out the curtain, and the cantina is jam-packed.
And there's just all sorts of aliens there from all over.
There's even some stormtroopers in there, some off-duty, some on-duty.
The bar's packed.
Drinks are flowing.
There's Twi'lek waitresses, and it's just jammed.
Jammed.
There's a band up there playing, and they're playing some pretty hot jizz.
And the people are loving it.
And not everyone's watching, but there's a good portion that are watching, and a good portion
that are just drinking.
But people continue to bring in and out equipment.
All right.
Where are we supposed to take this crate?
Yeah.
Bebo.
Boo.
Bebop.
Get in the crate.
I don't want to go back in there.
Pee in the bottle.
I don't want to do that.
I was supposed to meet the contact here, I think, by the bar.
Okay.
As you say that, you guys are walking with the crate in the back.
This man with the clipboard and a headset comes up, and he says, oh, are you Bob Bebo's kid?
You're on next.
You hear that, Bob Bebo?
You're going to come out of your crate.
Oh, I hate performing.
You're going to perform, or I'm going to have Wallace here pistol whip you again, and then
I'm going to have him pistol whip you again.
My cat doesn't have a pistol.
How about I?
My, the green guy.
Oh.
Who'd you think he is?
Is it a guy?
I will pistol whip you, and then I will pistol whip the cat.
That hurt when you pistol whipped me before.
Yeah.
Then you should learn to shut up when we tell you to shut up.
You guys are mean.
Yes.
What did I ever do?
What did I ever do to you?
We're not here to make friends.
I got you through that checkpoint.
Don't forget.
Barely.
Yeah, I did.
You also fucked it up.
I didn't.
I came.
If I didn't come out and say that I could play the space organ, you guys would still be outside.
Oh, that checkpoint?
Yeah.
You also caused a lot of problems.
I didn't cause any problems.
You caused all of the problems.
Not all of them.
I got us through that checkpoint.
Remember when I said my name was Rockenstein?
No, you messed it up.
Yeah, the first time, but I think that sold the story.
Yeah, but I think it sold the story.
And then I told you to shut up, and you didn't.
And then he let us through.
Hey, Mac, how much are you getting paid for this job?
Not enough for this fucking thing.
If we just kill this kid.
Please don't kill me.
And shut up and listen.
I thought you were outside.
Listen, I don't.
I don't think we should kill the kid.
That's a future callback.
I don't think we should kill any kid.
That's kind of rough.
Why don't we just, you know, make him get on the stage, do his shit, and hopefully by the time he's done,
that guy, our contact will come and pick him up, and then we can both get paid and get out of here.
I don't know if you realize this.
He is wanted.
They have an Amber Alert out on him.
Somebody is going to, yes, it's on the side of all the blue milk.
My dad loves me, you hear him say from the back.
Your dad is a great guy.
Shut up.
Your dad is the one that told us to kidnap you.
He did?
Yes.
Why would he do that?
Because he's sick of you.
You're an annoying child.
You're so mean to me.
I just wanted a new mommy.
That's probably why he had his kidnap you, so he can find a new mom.
Have a child that's an actual good person.
Oh my god.
I think you should be the kid's new mommy.
Why don't you do it for him?
Meow.
The cat clearly does not like you guys.
Meow.
Someone's got to pistol whip that cat.
Meow.
And I hope it's me.
I hope before the night starts.
I'm tempted to just shoot today.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
We're not going to shoot anything tonight.
Listen, listen.
I'm just a simple delivery guy.
I'm just trying to take care of doing my this job.
I want to kill no one.
However, if I have an opportunity to, I would like us both to pistol whip that cat.
Okay.
Oh, baby, baby.
It's in the story.
What?
Bridget did not like when he said he was going to pistol whip a cat.
She just walked by at the right time.
It's in the cat.
He's named Wallace, and it's going to get pistol whipped.
At least twice.
You named it before I didn't.
No, it was named after.
All right.
So he goes on stage, and let's see.
Oh, is there two things playing?
Oh, that's why it sounds like piss.
All right.
Damn cool.
All right.
So the kid gets up on stage, and everybody recognizes him.
Oh, this is his intro music as he walks up onto the stage.
And everybody doesn't recognize him as the kid.
He's just recognizable enough as, like, Bob Bebo.
It's like Tom Hanks' kid looks just like him.
And so he gets on stage and sits down at the space organ.
And the MC says, everybody, for your listening pleasure, please welcome, Beb Bebo.
Everyone just goes wild.
Everyone's crazy.
Everyone's crazy because they're just not heard the magical, magical space organ of the Ortolan, Bob Bebo.
So then he starts to play.
And it turns out he does not know how to play the space organ.
And he just mashes on the keys, just making complete nonsense noises.
And everything goes absolutely quiet.
And this Wookiee from over by the bar stands up and says, is that Bob Bebo?
And everybody in the bar looks at the Wookiee and simultaneously Bob Bebo.
No, not Bob Bebo.
Beb Bebo.
Yes, I'm Beb Bebo.
Oh, you must be the bounty that I ordered.
Well, why don't you come over here?
And so...
So I walk out.
I walk out.
He says, okay.
And he starts walking towards the big Wookiee in the back.
And I put my arm around the kid and start walking him towards the Wookiee.
Okay.
And everything is just quiet.
And all you hear is just like the jangling of glasses as you sort of like awkwardly walk in between quiet people.
What are you doing, Mac?
I am trying to keep up with Sarn.
Hiding?
Yeah.
Hiding.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm just trying to keep up.
I'm keeping up with Sarn.
And I had a drink and I was trying to drink because I could not believe that this is happening.
Okay.
So, wait.
So you just took a drink off of someone's table?
Yeah.
But they didn't notice.
It's a doggery check.
Deception.
Okay.
So you picked up a drink as you're walking through.
And the cat Wallace is standing on Bebo's shoulder.
And you're walking towards the Wookiee in the back.
Oh, shoot.
Let me get my Wookiee token.
Wookiee token.
Or the token Wookiee.
It doesn't matter.
I'll just...
Yes, the token Wookiee.
The token Wookiee.
Toki Wookiee.
All right.
I just say user Andy lacks permission to update actor.
Which one?
It was just a long list of...
I don't know.
There's a number.
It comes every time you're trying to add someone.
Oh, maybe you're...
Because you're...
Maybe because it shows up in there, but you can't see it.
And maybe it's some kind of bug where it's trying to let you see it.
Okay.
So you guys walk towards the Wookiee in the back.
And the Wookiee in the back has this entourage of like one other Wookiee, which is...
Kind of looks like him, but like shorter.
And then like a couple of just asshole humans who have guns.
And he says,
Oh, Bebo, you Ortolan, little chubby wubby.
Oh, okay.
He said,
All right.
And I'm over.
You must be Smuglord.
That's...
Yep.
That's my name.
You may have heard of me, or hopefully you will one day.
My name is Max Skyblade, the Smuglord.
And you must be Sarn.
Yes.
I thought your name was Wallace.
You...
Leave me out of this.
All right.
You got the money for the kid?
Money.
Money first.
I like the way this guy thinks.
And he flips at each of you a 20 credit unit.
Like a coin, I guess.
But it's 20 credits.
So it's like more than like a quarter.
It's like...
Imagine if it was like a $20 coin.
And he flips one at Sarn and then one at you.
Back.
Okay.
Was that how much we agreed upon?
No.
You would not have taken this job for 20 credits.
Not even you.
What's this?
Yeah.
That's what you get.
Hand over the kid.
And then...
No way!
As he says that, his goons sort of threateningly point carbines at you, at both of you.
There's three on him and then there's one in the back.
Oh, are we like...
There's three on who?
On Sarn and Mac.
Yeah, he's holding you up.
Basically.
Yeah.
We're not doing that.
You will do it.
No.
We won't.
Hand over the kid.
They will!
Or what?
We'll blast you to...
Or what?
We'll blast you to Kingdom Come.
Sarn!
Or...
Before you do that, I will shoot this kid.
Sarn!
Throw the cat!
The cats are not on me.
The cat is on Bebo.
Grab it and throw it.
That Bebo.
I take the pistol with the safety broken and point it at the kid's head.
Oh, gosh.
You killed me.
You lose all the money you can get from this kid.
Yeah, and you're gonna make yourself a lot of enemies.
I'm a friend of Timo's.
So am I.
You ever want to work again, you won't kill that kid.
Then put your guns down.
Give me the kid.
Put your guns down and give us the money.
They move closer to you.
Oh.
I cock the gun.
I'm serious.
He's gonna kill the kid.
Um...
Hold on.
I'm thinking.
Uh...
Bebo looks...
Very scared.
And...
He...
Runs off...
Into...
Um...
Into the back of the...
Like, under the tables.
I shoot him in the leg.
Okay.
Roll...
Roll a hard...
A hard check.
Okay.
For my weapon?
Well, let's say it's...
It's average by the time you turn around to shoot at him.
But then it's a setback die because you're aiming at his...
Leg.
Four success is one advantage.
Okay.
All right.
So, you...
Shoot him in...
Shoot him in the leg.
Shoot him in the leg to wound in.
Um...
You know, there...
There is like...
The kid.
Oh my god.
Um...
There are...
Like...
Stun settings.
Star troopers.
But...
You just...
Uh-huh.
You just...
Uh-huh.
And then you shot him in...
In the leg.
Um...
Yeah.
Well, this was...
Uh...
The safety was off.
Right.
Exactly.
And he's like...
Oh!
My leg!
And he's...
He's laying under...
Under one of the tables.
And...
One of...
Uh...
The Wookiees goons from the back...
Snatches the kid.
I shoot...
Jump on the Wookiees back.
I shoot the Wookiee...
In the arm.
So he lets go of the kid.
Um...
Oh!
You mean like...
Behind you?
Huh?
You mean like...
The guy that picked...
The Wookiee that picked up the...
The kid.
Yeah.
Okay.
Um...
Go ahead.
It's gonna be an average...
Um...
Check on your...
Whatever the blaster rifle is.
It should be carbine.
But you lost your carbine.
It should be, yeah.
Okay.
I sold it.
Four successes, one trial.
Okay.
Um...
All right.
So...
You do...
You do hit him...
And do damage...
Um...
To him.
But it does not kill the Wookiee.
Um...
What do you want your triumph to be?
That they...
The other Wookiees...
And his entourage now know how serious I am about this.
Okay.
And that I have absolutely no problem killing this kid.
Okay.
Oh my god.
Let's say...
All right.
Well, you did shoot him.
So he lets go of...
Of Bed Bebo.
And Bed Bebo runs out the back.
And he's wounded but not dead.
And...
The Wookiee knows that you're serious now about shooting the kid.
And he looks at you both and he says...
You...
Do you know who I am?
Do you even fucking know who I am?
And you're gonna fuck with me right now.
You're Sarn.
You're just some new bounty hunter.
I know exactly who you are.
You don't think I talked to Timo?
Who am I?
Who are you?
I...
Am Butt Radar.
What?
I am...
The right hand man of Timo the Hutt.
Oh my god.
You're Timo's right hand butt?
What?
You're Timo's right hand butt.
Yes, I am Timo's right hand butt radar.
And you done fucked up, son.
Your name's Butt.
I just keep laughing at him for having a stupid name.
Stop that laughing.
Quit that laughing.
You're gonna fart on me?
Quit that laughing.
No.
Your name's too funny.
All right.
It's such a stupid name.
Can I...
Do I still have two guns or do I have one gun and I gave it away already, right?
So I'm unarmed?
You are unarmed right now.
Yeah, because you had one gun.
Because remember you got two guns.
You gave it to me.
Yeah, you gave the gun to Sarn.
But does Sarn, do you still have your rifle on you?
That's the one he's been using.
All right.
Toss me my blaster.
Can you just do that real quick?
I think probably at this point is gonna be combat.
Well, I go over while we're still laughing.
Because, you know, when you get a funny joke, you have to laugh in pairs.
So while we're both keeled over laughing, I slip him back his gun.
Okay, so that's gonna be a deception.
And I'm gonna say that's hard.
Or, I guess, what else would it be on here?
I think deception is the...
Stealth.
I'll accept stealth.
Yes.
Sarn turbo is back.
Back, baby!
All right.
So you successfully, like, hand over that gun.
And then he says, you know what?
That's fucking it.
And then you're gonna have to go into combat.
Although I'm gonna need to fill out these characters.
Sorry, I did not prepare that.
You didn't think that we could do a fight?
No, I knew, but I didn't know with whom.
No.
I'm surprised it took this long.
I'm surprised we haven't hit that cat yet.
All right.
So there's two Wookiees and two humans?
Yeah.
In a bar full of people.
Yeah.
I have a feeling they really don't like me right now, though.
The people?
No.
You've done nothing to ingratiate yourself to these people.
Yeah.
I shot a kid.
Mac, I don't know if we're gonna survive this one.
I think we're gonna die.
I think we're gonna get fucked up.
Can we escape fights?
Do we have to always fight battles to their completion?
No.
You can run away.
You can always run away.
You never do.
Okay.
I think we should run away.
I think we should take a...
Nope.
I'm killing this butt.
No.
I don't kill butt radar.
I like butt radar.
I want him to be around for future episodes.
Oh.
So maybe this could be why Emo doesn't want to employ me anymore.
It's because I killed his right-hand butt.
Boo, can you...
Because I don't...
Andy was not there.
Can you please tell him about butt radar?
All right.
So, Andy.
Nick.
You know Nick D?
Yes.
Obviously.
He wants to play this goddamn game.
Tiger won't let him.
I don't think...
We're not gonna let him, obviously, because he doesn't know what he's talking about.
He's never seen any Star Wars.
Oh, yeah.
He would never take it serious.
Yeah.
I mean...
Yeah.
There's no way.
But for whatever reason, one night when we were over here at my place,
he wanted...
He got on a tirade about wanting to play with us.
And he said his character would be a Wookiee named Butt Butte Radar.
I thought it was Butt Radar.
Well, I mean, he wanted...
He gave it like an alien spin.
But yeah, it's Butt Radar or Butte Radar.
You know?
And that's what his character is.
So, that's...
It was a shocking twist, to say the least.
That he actually showed up.
And now I'm gonna kill him.
Because Tiger was pretty adamant about not having him show up.
And I even made a joke about, well, what if Butt Radar shows up?
He's like, then I will rescind that.
Or something like that.
I don't remember what I said.
You said you'll strike it from the record or something like that.
I mean, I did like the name...
Butt Radar?
Hey, I guess the good thing is...
Oh, man.
...is don't really have any R.
I don't really know.
I have...
You're like spazzing out.
Which one?
Ew.
What are you eating, boo?
Blueberry muffin?
Oh, okay.
Just looks like a block of fudge.
Oh, it's the rapper.
Okay.
Is it a Funkhauser?
What's a Funkhauser?
What were those called?
The Funkenmeyers?
Spunkmeyer.
Oh, it is Spunkmeyer.
Oh, it was Spunkmeyer.
That's right.
Spunkmeyer.
Okay.
What?
That's not what I wanted.
Oh, my God.
It's another Loth Cat.
You made Butt Radar.
It's another cat.
You made Butt Radar a Loth Cat.
That's not what I wanted.
Obviously.
There we go.
Butt Radar.
All right.
What does Butt Radar even have?
Okay.
All right.
Well, now we can roll initiative.
Roll.
All right.
Down to the streets.
I'm strolling.
Add to combat.
Oh, Baby Boo is gone.
He ran out the back.
Yes.
Yes, he is.
See you later.
Wait, was that Discord?
Yeah.
Someone put something in there?
It's Butt Radar.
Is that supposed to be Butt Radar?
All right.
That's what Nick said to Butt Radar.
All right.
I'm keeping it.
This needs to be in there.
How do I save it?
Why is my...
They answered the argument.
That's what he sent us.
He sent us that saying,
that's Butt Radar.
Oh, here it is.
All right.
Save.
Downloads.
Yeah.
This is going to be Butt Radar.
Butt Radar.
You know where they got that name from?
I don't remember.
Julia, Dave's old girlfriend,
she had a cousin named Brett Radar.
They used to call him Butt Radar.
Uh-oh.
Yeah.
That's just mean.
I mean, he's not dating her anymore.
That doesn't make it any less mean.
Well, I did not know that story.
I didn't come up with it.
I thought it was a funny name.
Oh, shit.
Uh, image.
Rockin'.
Rollin'.
Rockin' and rollin'.
Down to the streets.
I'm rollin'.
But the she goes,
they've hugged my head.
Not fun.
Not home.
Home.
Not home.
All right.
Uh, sorry.
This is taking me a second.
I think I'm buzzed.
It's taking you a hot minute.
Yeah.
Do I got time to pee again?
Yeah, well, Bob.
Yeah, go.
Yeah.
Why don't you just go pee?
Bed Bebo.
No, Bed Bebo.
Bed Bebo.
Bob Bebo was his dad.
This is hard to keep straight.
Yeah, you make a couple weird names for those guys.
Well, I, I didn't have a name for his dad, so I had to make that up on the fly.
I was perfectly content with calling him Bebop and Rocksteady.
Oh, there he is.
Butt Radar.
Oh, Jesus.
You know how mad Tiger's, or Nick's gonna be when he hears that he was in the game without actually being in the game?
Yeah, he's gonna be mad.
I'm taking a picture of it right now.
Are you really?
Yeah.
Guess who showed up at our game?
I hope Andy doesn't kill him.
I'd like him to come back for future games.
But Andy's gonna kill him.
Andy kills everyone.
Yeah.
Alright, are you ready to do this?
Yeah.
I'm ready to run away.
What?
I'm ready to run away.
Don't do that.
So, you guys will all be rolling cool.
Oh, no.
Butt Radar got a three.
Vigilance, right?
No, cool.
Vigilance?
Because you guys are all expecting a fight.
Okay.
Nice.
This does not look good for us, Mac.
I think we should blast the lights and take a run for it.
Wallace rolled a zero.
So, I hope that makes you feel better.
It does not.
He was my ace in the hole.
I was gonna pick him up and throw him on butt.
All right.
So, Butt Radar pulls his heavy blaster and shoots it at Sarn at medium range.
For three successes and one triumph.
Oh, shit.
So, I think a triumph is automatically a crit, right?
I don't know.
Somehow, you guys don't roll a lot of triumphs.
Not in combat.
Not ever.
Like, you rolled one or two triumphs today, but that's, like, the only time.
No, I rolled one when I was trying to shoot those Geonosians flying away.
Oh, that's right.
Geonosians!
You know, Sarn, I will say, it is really, really nice to have all of my Twilight toes.
It's something no one really appreciates.
Their toes.
It's gonna be...
Let's see.
Damage is 13 plus a crit.
Um, so...
Oh, I thought you said three damage.
No, 13.
Oh, boy.
And what is your...
What is your soak?
I think at that time it was four.
So, it did nine damage.
Are we going back in time for this?
As best as we can.
Like, we know that...
That Sarn had...
Four soak.
Because he just bought that...
What was it?
Some kind of padded armor, right?
Yeah.
Padded armor.
I'm not gonna remember.
That's fine.
Just try...
Try your best.
So, he does nine damage?
Oh, fuck.
Me.
Yes.
Okay.
Um...
And a crit.
So, roll a D100.
How am I supposed to roll a D100?
Is there an option for that?
No.
I don't know why there isn't in this game.
I haven't figured that out.
Well, it's because they want you to use it.
It's unimportant.
I'll roll it over here.
36.
Oh, that's pretty long.
So, it's a stinger.
Stinger.
Increased difficulty of next check by one.
Fuck.
Okay.
So, plus one crit.
You gotta...
You have to...
Well, I'll mark that.
Because that stays with you.
Yeah.
Alright.
Um...
Who's next?
I mean, it should go away after the next one, shouldn't it?
No.
Because it's just for the next check?
You still...
You still keep the crit.
But that only affects you the one time.
So...
And the reason for that is that for the next crit, it adds 10.
Oh, okay.
Gotcha.
And you have to get that crit healed.
Gotcha.
Okay.
So, Sarn or Mac, but a PC.
Um...
Yeah, I'm gonna fall back to...
No, I shouldn't.
Because it's just gonna be a really hard check.
Uh...
Can I flip over a table and use that as a cover?
Yeah, absolutely.
That's a maneuver.
Yeah, I'll do that.
And then I will aim and shoot at him.
Cause, you know, taking the strain.
Alright, so you take a strain.
Should be one strain.
Altogether.
Because I think you had...
Nine strain from last game.
So, let's say one.
Um...
And then you shoot where?
Yeah.
Uh, I shoot...
Uh...
But...
Okay.
Uh...
That will be...
Average plus a boost.
Right?
And then whatever you're...
Plus...
Well, it's gonna be hard.
Oh, because you fell back?
Stinner.
Oh, you're right.
You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right.
Alright.
Four successes, one advantage.
So, I do 13 damage to him.
Okay.
So, every time I change my damage, it also changes my...
Oh, no, there it is.
Okay.
My soak, it looked like.
But, never mind, I got it.
Okay.
Um, Mac, it's your turn.
I don't...
I don't want to fight it.
I don't think this is a fight we're gonna win.
Um, is there any way I can just, uh, like, shoot, like, either, like, try to use perception
and, like, look for lights to shoot out, or something that will maybe blow up and cause,
like, a, kind of like a, uh, like a mist or a fog or a gas or some of that?
Is there something that I can do like that?
Sure.
Um...
Flip a light side point.
Well, for sure, if you flip the light side...
I'm, uh...
I don't know.
Yeah, you can shoot at the lights.
I would say...
Um...
I'd say lights are a good one.
Maybe there's, like, um, some sort of...
I don't know what kind of gas there is.
There's a giant chandelier right over butt radar.
No, there's not a giant chandelier over butt radar.
Yeah, that the cantina just got installed last week.
For a light side point.
For one light side point.
Who sent me a text today?
Because clearly he had been listening to the episode, and he's like,
I forgot that Sarn said that he used to be a detective.
I don't remember this.
Yeah, it did not.
It did not pass.
You wanted to use your light side point to claim you were a detective.
I just thought that was really funny.
It's like...
Oh, man.
I will allow a light side point to find something that can disable the lights.
Can it turn out that I actually designed this place?
I'm the architect.
No.
Simple mat.
Architect.
Smuggler.
I'm just going to blast the light.
Do I have to use a light side point to do that?
Well, flip the light side point to be able to see the breaker.
The fuse box.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Is that kosher?
Yeah, I'll allow it.
All right.
How do I do that?
I'll flip the point.
All right.
You flip the point.
Consider the point flipped.
All right.
Do I have to blast?
Do I have to do any combat skill?
You'll still have to blast.
Melee, ranged light, and then do I have to do anything else extra?
Can I take aim?
Is that?
Sure.
Or that's already part of the maneuver?
No, I'll give it to you.
You boost.
All right.
So you get a boost.
It's average.
Right.
And then it's whatever you're.
Yeah.
Yes.
And then whatever you're.
What are you shooting?
A pistol, right?
Yeah.
Ranged light.
Yeah, ranged light.
That's right.
All right.
So the check succeeds and the lights in the entire place go out.
It's completely dark.
All right.
My advantage is that I was looking at the exit when I shot the light.
And so I can run for it.
Good.
I like it.
And then.
Yeah.
And then do I have two successes or that's just it?
Yeah.
All right.
No, no.
The successes would change it if.
Because this was ranged light.
Would do more damage.
But you can't do more damage than you already did.
Okay.
Cool.
And.
So I grabbed Sarn and I start running.
Towards where you came from?
The exit.
Yeah.
The exit.
Okay.
No.
Wait.
No.
You guys did not come in that way though.
You don't have to go out that way.
But you guys did not come in that way.
No, I know.
That's where I'm running.
You're going to run out the front.
Exit.
Yeah.
Well.
Okay.
But what do you think?
Well, that's because that's my advantage.
Oh.
Yeah.
Either way is fine.
I just wanted to make.
You'll have to choose one or the other.
All right.
Bebop.
Ran out the back door.
So I don't know if you want to try to find him.
Yeah.
Let's run out the back door.
I like that.
All right.
So then we can turn him in.
Or we can return him to his father for money.
Later.
All right.
Grab his cat on the way out.
Yeah.
Come here, Wallace.
Wah!
I'll leave you here.
I don't care.
Wah!
All right.
Stay here, you dumb cat.
Wah!
As you say that, you hear this little whisper in your ear.
It is a godlike figure who says to you,
Don't forget that bad Bebo loves his cat.
All right.
I keep calling the cat, Wallace, come here.
Wah!
And then it jumps on your head.
Oh, no.
Not my Leku.
Yeah, right on your Leku.
And what, you guys slip out the back?
Yes.
All right.
I was really able to kill Butt.
All right.
That's a great place to end.
Because what happened to the cat?
Did we ever find that blue little child?
How did I learn his last name was Turbo?
There's so much mystery and intrigue left.
Did we ever become better friends after this?
Or did we, you know?
That turned out way better than I thought it was going to.
Yeah, there was callbacks and call forwards and, you know, the gun being jammed.
Or not being jammed, but the broken safety.
Safety.
You know?
It was all good.
And we made fun of children, which was, you know...
I shot a child.
Yeah, I know.
You pistol whipped a child.
You did not shoot him.
You never shot him.
Yeah, you shot him in the leg.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, you shot the shit out of him.
I forgot about that.
You pistol whipped a child and shot him in the leg.
The same child.
All I wanted to do was pistol whipped that cat.
That's a freaky looking cat.
So, I'm glad...
Yeah, I'm glad we did this side thing instead of...
Because I had some ideas to keep, like, Ryan's character out of it.
But we're getting, like, right to the end.
And I doubt you guys would get to the end of it today.
But...
I don't know.
We're going to have enough for when we do the meetup?
So, don't worry about it too much.
Because I picked up...
Sorry, I'm trying to get Craig out of the chat.
So, I have our follow-on ready.
Okay.
Thank you.