*laughs*
Rockin', rockin' and rollin'
Down to the beach I'm strollin'
But the seagulls poke in my head
Not fun, I said seagulls, hmmm, stop it now
*makes a little bit of a bird*
Nothing I could do but you
When these birds...
Stunned! The crew have found themselves deep in Blackwind Crater, looking for some trace of the Radarian Chain Gang, the organization that serves Butt Radar.
Accompanying them is Graf Lin, a one-legged foreman, former Radarian himself.
Thanks to some intel from Crazo, they know that someone named Mandy mentioned something about Blackwind Crater.
And so they charged in, and were attacked by a tailio.
And now Ghost is covered in unconscious monkey.
But which one is the monkey and which one is the wookie?
*makes a little bit of a bird*
Got him.
*laughs*
Tune in.
Alright.
Tune in this week.
*laughs*
Oh, we should probably roll for Destiny, huh?
I should probably log on to the, uh, the old thingy thing.
Oh my god.
I spent so much time getting the thingy set up and you won't even log in and read all of my precious notes.
Okay.
*makes a little bit of a bird*
I always forget, oh no, I repasted the kickboxing girl.
Oh, we lost the kickboxing.
You can just, uh, the swrpg.ascorea.com
Yeah, that was way too many letters.
I'm just gonna keep looking for the kickboxing girl.
Well, they stand for Star Wars, which should be easy to remember.
And RPG also should be easy to remember, but...
What do I have?
Found it!
Okay.
Or the kickboxing girl.
Wait, now there's a lot of weird things.
There's the Foundry, the Kanka, and the Podcast, and a Dice Roller.
Oh man, I'm assuming I just got a Foundry.
Yeah.
Figured it out, guys.
It's okay.
Alright, I was worried there for a second.
Yeah.
It's just supposed to be a black screen.
Well, that's all it is.
Okay, then you guys do not have vision for some reason, and I will fix that.
*makes a little bit of a bird*
Ooh, yay, Darkseid.
Darkseid.
Ooh, boy.
This is not gonna be a fun session.
Can you see it now?
Can we ever use the Darkseid points, or is that only you?
It's...
I mean, you can, but they have to be for dark things.
Oh, I guess I have to...
So if we...
Yeah, fine.
If we wanna do evil...
Wait, wait, we were doing...
We were doing so many evil things.
Like, what if...
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Not evil things.
Things against you.
Oh.
I do not want to incentivize you guys to do evil things any more than you already naturally
are.
So, is there any reason why we would ever use the Darkseid points for ourselves?
No.
I was just trying to be funny, which I since learned my lesson.
That you're not funny.
That was not the lesson.
It is now.
It's the only thing I've taken away from this conversation all day today.
Okay.
Ever since it started.
Adam.
That God is not funny.
Brutal.
Abbed.
Um...
You guys are in a jungle,
and Ghost is underneath an unconscious Wookiee.
Uh, you just blasted him.
I stunned him.
Stunned him.
I stunned him.
Okay.
Uh, anybody else want to catch up on where we were?
Questions or anything before we get into it?
Hold on.
Well, I just woke up from a very long nap.
I think I was sleepwalking.
Where are we?
I think we're in Blackwater Crater.
Blackwater Crater.
Great.
What should I rip the arms off of?
That monkey you're covered in.
Wait, this monkey right here?
Yeah.
This one right on top of me?
All right.
We have to go to the center of the crater to look for a person named Mindy.
I grabbed the monkey by the scruff of its neck and I'm holding it.
I'm assuming it's shrieking.
Uh, no.
It's stunned.
I stunned or died?
Sarn, at the very end of the episode, stunned the monkey.
Oh, why is it on my head then and not just like on my back?
It's not on your back.
It's on top of you.
No.
You were wrestling, you were wrestling it.
Oh, go ahead, Sarn.
Oh, I'm not walking with it.
I'm like on the, I'm laying on the ground right now.
Yeah.
You're on the ground.
The monkey's on top of you.
I stunned it.
Because you, you like begged me not to kill it.
Oh, okay, cool.
Yes, I love this monkey.
So I stunned it.
I'm petting it.
It is a very ferocious looking monkey.
Well, not anymore.
Sleeping is adorable.
It was kicking the shit out of both of you.
Oh, and Graf is there.
It's teeth are so pretty good.
My shit has been kicked in.
All right.
I was, I was close, wasn't it?
I don't remember much.
I must have taken a pretty, a couple really hard knocks to the head.
Oh, you gave, really gave it to that monkey.
But, I mean, he almost had you.
Uh, Graf, what do we need you for now, exactly?
I doubt it.
You don't, but you thought I'd be useful.
And now you're proving not to be.
I wasn't.
I will pay you money to fight more monkeys for profit.
Uh, what kind of profit?
I'm talking a ghost.
Oh, ghost.
Uh.
Go ahead.
Have you fight monkeys, Graf.
You weren't doing anything.
Well, watching that Wookiee fight that monkey was the best thing I've seen in a while.
Yeah, I'm on.
I bet you people would bet money on it.
Hey, yes, we can arrange that when we are done with the mission.
I will totally arrange that.
We'll be millionaires.
And you get to fight and eat as many monkeys as you'd like.
Don't eat monkeys.
You get to fight as many monkeys as you like.
All right, I'm in.
You can't eat them.
I don't though.
I choose not to.
Why?
I'm a vegetarian.
You heard.
What about all of the sausage and bacon?
What?
No, I left all the sausage and bacon.
What?
Why?
I, I, I, I permit eggs.
So I ate a lot of eggs and omelets and cheese.
Yes.
Those are all fine.
You got to be the world's first, the universe's first vegan Wookie.
I'm not a vegan.
Ugh.
Vegetarian?
Yes.
Oh, my vegan Wookie.
You had a big breakfast without ham, sausage, bacon, sausage, and beans.
Well, beans isn't me.
Spam?
Yes.
Yeah, I ate a lot of beans.
There was also some tofu sausage.
It was quite good.
That explains the smell in the, in the Kahuna wave now.
I get it.
That sounds a lot like red wine.
Does it smell of Vibrous?
The big breakfast.
The smell is terrible.
So, where are we going?
To the center of the crater.
Oh.
Yeah, let's go to the center.
Well, actually.
Rx told us where the center was.
Oh, okay.
Which way is the center?
That-a-way.
And I point the right-a-way.
We walk in the way that Rx told us to walk in.
No, Mac knows.
He talked to Rx.
Oh, alright.
So, I start walking, I start walking wherever Mac's pointed then.
Yep, we go.
Are you carrying the monkey?
Yeah, that's exactly.
Big questions, man.
It's slumped, it's slumped over my shoulder now.
This monkey might have to join our team.
He can be the monkey you fight.
Yeah, we can call him Mollus.
What?
Mollus.
Like a monkey Wallace?
Yeah, a monkey Wallace.
Yeah.
Oh, goodness.
Okay, so you guys start making an arduous journey towards the center of the crater.
Walking through this lush jungle.
It's a marshy jungle and it's pretty hot and wet.
What was the climate slash landscape of this planet like outside of the comet?
It doesn't have as much water as say Earth, but it's green.
And up until this point, neither Mac nor Sarn have ever really seen the color green.
Except for Sarn.
Sarn is green.
Besides that, they're never that green.
I am green.
Yeah, and if I've seen Sarn, I've seen green.
All right, fine.
They've seen Zarn.
Have you guys watched the book of Boba Fett yet?
Yes.
I haven't, but I did see there are a bunch of Twi'leks in it.
That's cool.
There's one green one, I think, too.
He's really disgusting.
He looks very muscular, but Sarn to shame.
Yeah, he looked more like Zuga 2 than Sarn.
Yeah, Zuga 2.
Oh, yeah.
Are we still supposed to be blind?
Because I still just see a black screen.
Let me see your character.
Does anybody, do you guys see the, is everybody blind?
No, it's still black.
It's still black?
All right.
I am super blind.
The blindest.
There we go.
Oh, there it is.
All right, that's my bad.
That's what the monkey looks like?
Yeah.
It's terrifying.
Yeah, it was a terrifying monkey.
Also, you guys were very scared.
It also looks pretty tasty.
Yeah, you could probably eat it.
Wait, you should do this in character.
That is in character.
I want to eat this monkey.
Sorry, I want to eat this monkey.
No, I say we keep it as a pet.
Or at very least, or at very least a throwable object.
I mean, it did try to kill us.
We just turned this monkey into a Pokemon.
I mean, if the shoe fits.
If the Pokeball fits.
Pokemon Johto.
His name is no longer Mollus.
It is Manky.
Manky.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, honestly, just keep them knocked out and then wake them up right before and just throw them at.
Throw them.
I guarantee you it could only work for our benefit.
And you guys, you guys are just, it's a long walk.
Because remember, this is six.
What did we say it was?
Six kilometers wide.
This.
This crater.
So you guys have been, you guys walk for, for a while.
Yeah.
We're talking while we're walking.
Yeah.
It's, it's one of those walks.
I was like walking downhill.
Well, yeah, you are walking to the bottom of the crater because the crater is, let me explain to you a crater.
It's shaped like a bowl.
So you guys are going to the bottom of the bowl.
Pink grass.
Uh, yeah.
How good are you at piloting?
Uh, not very.
Well, let me look.
Let me, let me check my stats right here.
Oh, what's a stat?
Are we, I don't have my cards.
I'm not a great, I'm not a great pilot.
You don't have your card?
I don't have my card.
My card, or my, it might.
Oh, your own character character.
Like an eye arrow, yeah.
But wait, what's, what's stats?
I'm still.
Oh no, it's like, it's like a way to quantify your abilities.
Uh, and we used to do that all the time in the, uh, the Radarian chain game.
We would argue about it for hours and hours at the, uh, the pub.
What you might.
But like you.
But then who, who assigns value to your ability?
Uh, there's a central body, uh, run by Guinness.
They make space talent.
Hold on, you wouldn't fight a monkey, but you know the term quantitative?
Uh, quantitative, yes.
We learned that.
As we, we did a lot of arguing.
Is pirating 101?
Wait, what about the monkey I didn't know?
These are some very well-educated pirates.
They are.
I am so glad they're on our side.
The pirates?
Well, if you're trying to kill them, they're probably not on your side.
No, you.
The well-educated pirate.
Well, no.
Yes.
The quantitative pirate.
Well, I'm not educated.
I just like to gamble and argue.
All right, then.
All right.
Are we still able to communicate with our ex?
Uh, you could try your, you could, you could try your, um, communicator.
I don't have my, my communicator.
I just don't want to walk.
Well, then you're probably not going to be able to talk to him.
I just don't want to walk back up this hill to get to the, the kahuna.
Uh.
So if they could, like, if we could just tell him where to go and he can land and pick us up, that would be, you know, great.
Okay.
I mean, how close are we to the crater? Do we need to get picked up?
I mean, you're in the crater.
I mean, to the center, I mean.
I mean, I mean.
Uh, you guys are approximately.
No, no, no.
It's not a day's walk.
It's just like probably an hour.
All right.
Because I think we're trying to decide whether we can, is there a place to park the ship over by the center of the crater?
Um, you guys crash landed the ship.
Yeah.
We don't know if there's, but like, we're walking uphill on the way back.
So it's going to be at least like three hours for summer.
To get back to the ship.
Because of the tow?
Yes.
Because of the tow.
Okay.
And, and, and Sarn doesn't know how to walk through forests.
George is getting angry.
So, so you've, you've never seen a forest then?
Not, no, no, no, not like this.
What's that?
I grew up in a forest.
Well, oh yes.
Can I take the monkeys place then?
You just like leave the monkey here and you can carry me?
No.
Why not?
It's worse for me.
I have to be closer to your smell.
I smell good.
As, as you say that, uh, you start hearing more monkey sounds.
Um, um, Talos.
Should we?
I think they're, you should probably start running before we have to face these monkeys.
Sarn takes his blaster off of stone.
What the?
I switched the monkey from a fireman carry position to like a cradling position.
Like a baby?
Yeah.
Okay.
Like a baby.
In case other monkeys, in case other monkeys see us, now they will see me cradling a unconscious
one instead of just kind of unceremoniously hanging in over my shoulder.
Hold it hostage.
Perfect.
Hold it hostage.
Yeah.
But gently.
I'm holding it hostage gently.
Gently.
Gently prepare to break its neck.
Gently.
Gently prepare to break its neck.
Gently.
Gently prepare to break its neck.
Gently.
Gently prepare to break its neck.
Gently.
Gently prepare to break its neck.
Wait what kind of accent do you have.
That you would pronounce wrestling as wrestling.
Um mid.
Mid.
I have a mid accent.
Oh crap.
I should use my hunting goggles for that roll.
Yeah you probably should have.
I mean you wanna.
Okay fine.
You heard the wrestling.
Can we.
You can use the hunting goggles to get a better look.
Alright.
So do I just roll another boost?
Uh.
No.
What is there.
What is.
I don't know what the hunting goggles do.
Does it say anything.
For them.
It says Grant's boost die.
Okay so.
Uh.
We'll do another roll.
You said you can't do it.
I'll do another perception roll.
Well I've got the other page pulled up.
So I can do it.
But you just won't be able to see it.
Oh the other die.
Oh so don't lie.
I guess is.
Yeah.
I guess.
Oh so don't lie.
I guess is.
I won't lie.
I can show it to you.
Four successes.
Two advantages.
Three successes.
One threat.
Okay.
You.
You look.
And you see it's more monkeys.
I hope this monkey that you're.
Sorry.
I hope mankey is like.
King of these monkeys.
This isn't a mankey.
It's a prime ape.
Sorry.
I hope this prime ape.
You're carrying.
Is the king.
Of these monkeys.
Yes.
He seems rather regal.
Don't you think.
How many.
How many monkeys we talking.
I think probably about five.
Hmm.
Can my blaster light up.
Like a flame.
Like.
On the grass to keep them away.
Can I light a fire to keep them away.
It sounds.
Like that would.
That would be like a.
A light side point.
Oh.
Um.
I don't want to use it for that.
Okay.
What.
Huh.
What did you say.
I said okay.
Oh.
Okay.
I didn't hear.
Yeah.
I didn't hear you at first.
Sorry.
Um.
All right guys.
I guess double time.
Into.
That direction.
Yeah.
Run away.
Uh.
All right.
How do we do an escape roll.
Agility.
Skull.
Skulldeggery.
I mean it would be an agility roll.
Yeah.
Or no.
Athletics I mean.
Athletics.
Yeah.
You guys can start running.
Yeah.
All right.
Okay.
Roll.
Roll athletics.
What's the difficulty.
Uh.
It's going to be.
It's going to be hard.
Which is three purple.
You guys are running through Marsh.
As Sarn.
Starts running.
He wants to.
Sarn.
Wants to.
Oh no.
I'm rolling.
You're not going to let me finish.
I was.
I'm hoping to give you a boost die here.
Well.
It's too late.
Well Mac hasn't rolled.
Oh yes he did.
Uh.
Go.
He failed.
Uh.
And Sarn.
I just want to start like.
Blind.
You know blind fire in.
Into where I like.
Where I sense most of the.
The monkeys.
Sense them.
To do like a cover.
Sensed.
Yeah.
Okay.
Or saw.
Saw the bushes move.
I just kind of want to lay down like a cover fire.
As I'm running backwards.
Okay.
It's a chance.
That we may resolve this peacefully.
Okay.
Not while you're carrying the corpse of their king.
It's not a corpse.
They don't know that.
They are monkeys.
Uh.
I think they know that.
Hmm.
Monkeys are pretty smart.
They.
Really aren't though.
Can we get intelligence check on this monkey?
The monkey is passed out.
So that's a no.
No.
That's a no.
So sorry.
Are you.
Are you just running?
I'm running.
I think I fell.
You're not torn.
Sorry.
No.
Yeah.
Mac.
Mac Skyblade ran and.
And we're not sure what he did yet.
But.
What about.
Sorry.
You need.
You need to roll.
I want to do the cover fire.
Do I get a boost for the cover fire or not?
Um.
Yeah.
You can have a boost for that.
Yeah.
Three successes.
Two advantages.
Okay.
That's for athletics.
Uh.
Yeah.
So you're running and you do get a boost.
My advantage would be that because Mac was running away and he fell,
but he fell to his knee.
So as I'm running past him, I pick him up to get him back on his feet to go.
Well, let's say you didn't quite pick him up all the way,
so you're dragging him for a little bit of time.
That's fair.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's fair and accurate, most likely.
So you see this shot and all of a sudden now there are monkeys who come out,
who slowly come out of the bushes towards you.
So as he's pulling me, I start blasting at them.
Can I do that?
Hold on.
As Sarn is pulling you, not he.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I was going to get it.
I've already slipped up twice with it.
With what?
You're saying he.
Oh, what happened to the music?
I muted it.
Oh.
Why would that work on all of us?
It probably doesn't.
Okay.
You guys will be in combat.
I will let...
I'll let Sarn make...
Or not Sarn.
I'll let Mack make a shot.
I was just hoping to do a running gun, but all right.
Like as he's dragging me, I'm shooting?
Or is that part of the combat?
You can still...
I mean, you can still make the shot.
You'll get...
You will get a shot off.
If you guys want to continue to run, you can still...
You can still run away.
You don't have to fight the monkeys.
Running.
I'm just running.
I succeeded.
I feel like this is...
There's better things to do than fight the monkeys.
Oh, God.
There's a lot of them.
And they're all ugly.
They're very ugly monkeys.
Okay, yeah.
You are surrounded by monkeys.
Then we're going to add these to...
Add everybody to combat.
Is there a way I can look up to see what stun grenades do?
Yeah, if you go to items.
So it's a little briefcase.
I think you should be able to search for...
You don't have a briefcase?
No, I have one that says items directory.
And it says what?
Items directory?
Yeah, it should be in there.
No?
All I have is talents.
Okay, so you want...
What is it?
A friend?
What kind of a grenade?
Stunned.
Because apparently I have four of them.
And I probably should have used that instead of...
Um...
You might be able to click on it in your...
It's in your inventory?
No, it's written down.
Okay.
Where is my inventory?
Um...
So if you click on your character sheet...
Do you see underneath your stats where it says characteristics, gear, and equipment?
They're in gray boxes.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Stun grenade.
Okay.
Do you see...
Did you read the stun grenade?
Stun grenades use sonic waves, concussion shocks, and other methods to stun their targets.
Like frag grenades, stun grenades can be act...
Can be set to detonate on impact...
Or set with a timer to detonate up to three rounds after being activated.
Stun grenades rarely have pressure detonators.
Um...
So it's eight...
It's eight stun damage.
Eight...
Stun damage?
Yeah.
Is that a lot?
I don't know.
Well, your rifle is nine damage.
So stun damage is similar in that...
I believe it affects their strain rather than their wounds.
Yeah, because if someone who maxes out strain, they like pass out or something, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
Gotcha.
I assume that's how you, uh...
Took care of Mankey slash...
Slash Primeape.
It was the stun setting on my blaster.
It was the stun setting on your blaster, yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
Um...
You guys want to keep running?
Or you want to fight?
I'm just...
I'm, like, ahead of you guys.
I'm still running.
I haven't even turned around to think about it.
Well, I say we run.
You carry...
You keep pulling me, and I'll blast.
Okay.
Alright.
I hand him one of my stun grenades and say,
When shit gets hairy, throw this.
Okay.
Alright, then.
Alright.
So do I blast?
Do I shoot a...
Do I, uh...
I'm gonna roll initiative.
Okay.
Right?
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Uh...
How...
How is he private first?
Wait, hold on.
I don't know which one that is.
I can't remember.
Is it Vigilance or Cool?
No, that's not the...
That's not the passed out one.
They all have the same name.
Oh.
Because I copied and pasted.
Is it...
Is it Vigilance or Cool?
Uh...
It's...
It is Cool.
I can't remember.
Oh.
I did Vigilance.
Because...
I assumed we knew...
It's the opposite.
Cool is...
Yes.
Uh...
I don't know how to re-roll this, then.
Uh...
Then I can reset the initiative.
Yeah.
All you bozos have to roll again.
I can roll now.
Yeah.
And we're rolling Cool?
Yes.
Cool.
Not...
Not Vigilance.
Oof.
That's a low roll.
Oh, that is very low.
Oh, boy.
That's how you spell.
Is that how you spell Prime Ape?
I don't know if that's how you spell Prime Ape.
Oh, then they're Prim Apes.
Doesn't matter.
None of this matters.
Okay.
Uh...
Mac, you're at the top.
I mean, but it's just PCs, so...
Yeah.
It's definitely EAP.
Okay.
All right.
So I just blast that one, right?
You can.
You also have a stun grenade.
That's...
Well, has things got hairy yet?
Uh...
I think they're fairly hairy, yes.
All right.
Then I'm gonna throw the stun grenade.
Okay.
What do I throw?
What do I...
How do I do that?
What is that?
Uh...
The stun grenade is...
Is that gunnery?
I have to look.
What is the stun grenade?
Or what is the...
I have minus four ability, but I don't know if that's...
Stun grenade...
It's ranged light.
Oh, so whatever your ranged light is?
Yeah.
All right.
So let's roll it?
Average.
Average?
Yeah.
Oh, your ranged light is pretty good.
Pew, pew.
Okay.
So you throw down the stun grenade.
Uh...
It goes...
It goes off.
Um...
It distracts all of the apes.
Um...
And they all take...
Let's see.
What would it be?
Eight damage?
Ten?
No.
Or not damage.
It'd be stun.
Yeah.
Ten stun.
Is that ten?
Well...
Oh, it's only eight.
Okay.
So it's not like the...
No, you do...
You're saying because you add the advantages?
The successes.
Okay.
Yeah.
And...
What do these guys even have?
Uh...
All right.
Why do I have two com links?
Uh...
You probably took one from Scruffy.
Right.
Or...
You guys did take one from the Spy.
Hmm.
Okay.
I was curious why it has two...
All right.
So you guys have done...
You guys have done some damage to the, uh...
To the Mankeys.
To the Taleos.
Uh...
And they...
They are...
Stunned and...
And back.
Uh...
Taken aback.
Um...
They use their turns to get closer to you.
And now they are all within close distance.
Because they were before at medium.
And...
Oh, no.
I guess they would get a maneuver.
And a...
Where's my...
Where's Graf and Sarn's turn?
Oh, yeah.
You guys do have turns.
Okay.
Sorry.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
We exist.
Yeah.
You're right.
Sarn exists.
Yeah.
I mean, it is just a PC.
But, uh...
Uh...
Yeah.
Okay.
Uh...
Yeah.
I'm gonna shoot at these guys, too.
Unless you wanna go first, Sarn.
No.
You...
You go for it.
All right.
So he goes at...
He aims at...
I'll see what you do.
He aims at one of them.
Uh...
Who's at...
They're at medium distance, as I said.
Uh...
And shoots his light blaster.
Uh...
And misses.
Ah, blimey!
That brings it up to another PC.
All right.
Hey, Graf.
Throw me your gun really quick.
I need a one-handed weapon.
Um...
That was going to...
Well, he can't.
It's not his turn.
He used his turn.
That would be a maneuver.
So you would have to go to him and get it from him.
Which would burn a maneuver.
But we're still running, right?
Yeah.
All right.
Oh.
Which means I would have to shoot on the run.
I guess that's true.
I guess I should be...
I should be giving you guys setbacks.
Because you guys are on the run.
Yeah.
I mean, you could...
You could...
I mean, I guess you could use one of your maneuvers to keep pace.
Or...
Or not...
Yeah.
These guys are pretty tough.
But I'm going to...
But I'm going to get two...
Wait.
The top level is strained, right?
The blue is strained.
The bottom...
Blue is strained.
Okay.
There we go.
You know what?
Here's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to stop.
We'll let Mac stand up and, you know, stop having me drag him.
Yeah.
I mean, this has been fun.
You're going to prop him up?
Zan.
No.
Yeah.
You know what?
I'm just going to let go.
He can stand up on his own.
Okay.
But you guys really have to stop moving.
Well, Mac stops moving.
Mac is starting to get up.
No, no, no.
We both...
We both stop moving.
Okay.
And I want to...
Shoot...
The one that's closest to me.
So this one to the right, I guess.
Okay.
So I want to shoot that one.
Okay.
And how close did you say they were?
They're at...
They're at medium range right now.
I got five successes, one advantage.
Okay.
So you hit them?
Yeah.
For seven damage.
Oh, what's this?
Wait.
Yeah.
That is wrong.
Well, I mean...
Because I got five.
But my blaster rifle is...
Nine.
So 14 damage, really.
Okay.
You obliterate that monkey.
He's dead.
Yeah!
You smoked him.
That monkey...
Then you shoot him and you...
The air is filled with a...
Tinge smell of burning monkey hair.
But it smells like toasted monkey flesh.
It's both.
It can be...
Why not both?
Yeah.
It could be...
It is both.
Okay.
And...
The monkeys become even further enraged.
And they get closer on to you.
So...
I think there's been...
Well...
I guess it's not...
Ghost hasn't had his turn yet.
So...
Um...
You guys are still kind of close.
But the monkeys are...
Getting closer to you.
So now they're all within close range.
With their turns.
Aye!
That's Graf.
He's...
Scared.
Wait.
It wasn't...
Isn't one of them dead, though?
One of them's dead.
They're very mad about it.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, but there's...
Yeah, there's four of them.
I'm very mad about it.
Four left.
Uh...
There's...
Three left.
Uh...
Fourth one is the monk...
The passed out monkey that...
Ghost is still carrying like a baby.
Oh...
Okay.
Why is that one...
Not...
Like...
Incapacitated, then?
It is incapacitated.
Oh, okay.
I...
Okay.
It doesn't matter.
It didn't take a turn.
No, I know.
But on the list, it's got five of them total.
Yeah, but it has...
It's...
That...
The other...
The egghead one is passed out.
Incapacitated.
Gotcha.
I don't know what the label it is.
Okay.
Alright, so that was their move?
Yeah.
They're encroaching in closer to you.
And now it's Ghost's turn.
Okay.
I throw the monkey at one of the other monkeys.
Oh.
That would be...
What kind of check would that be?
Athletics, maybe?
Okay.
Sure.
Okay.
What's the difficulty?
Difficulty is...
The average, I guess.
Well, no.
They're close to you now, so I guess it would just be...
Yeah, it's fine.
I rolled it already.
It's...
It's failed.
So you do throw the monkey.
It doesn't hit the other monkeys, but they're still...
They're even madder because you threw the monkey at them.
They're very angry monkeys.
Okay.
Does that count as an action or a maneuver?
It would be an action, I think.
If you're going to do anything for damage, it would be an action.
Okay.
Um...
I mean, so I guess...
Yeah, I guess you still have a maneuver.
I assume you were going to continue running, which would take a maneuver.
Hmm.
Well, no.
The party is in danger.
I don't run from danger.
You just let it be stunned on top of you.
Well, no.
I threw it, actually.
Did you not just hit this?
No, no.
I missed.
Beforehand, though.
You just, like...
I was...
...laid there while I was stunned.
I was...
I was sleepwalking.
I cannot account for any of my actions during that time.
I think that's for concussion from hitting your head on the fridge.
Maybe.
No.
Well, whatever it is, do it.
Hmm.
Can I maneuver...
So there's a monkey between me or next to me.
Uh...
No, that's the passed out one.
No, no, no.
There's the one on top of me.
Right.
And there's one, like, next to you, to your left.
Yeah.
Can I jump between...
As a maneuver, I won't, like...
I won't grapple with it or anything, but can I just, like...
Yeah, you're just jumping in between.
Right.
Okay.
Yes.
Yeah, like that.
Okay.
Exactly.
Perfect.
Okay.
And I...
And I roar in a Wookiee way, very loudly, at the Wookiee.
That's gotta be intimidation.
Oh, crap.
I can't do it.
No, my kids are asleep.
Oh, okay.
Give me one sec.
I gotta grab my phone charger.
Oh, sweet Jesus.
It's at 20%, and we still have...
Okay.
Uh, this is a good...
This is a drink break, then.
Okay.
Uh...
Oh, you're watching this, man?
Oh, no, I'm playing my game.
I just...
I just need a...
My phone's at 20%.
Yeah.
I just need a...
Alright.
You're not making another drink?
I'm gonna actually go get something to eat.
I'm gonna...
Okay.
I'm gonna take my headphones out so you guys can hear me pee.
Appreciate it.
You're welcome.
Where's Siren's head...
Headgear?
It's at home.
Ow.
I'm gonna take my headphones out.
You guys don't remember Zuga 2?
Vaguely.
Was he a Wookiee?
You guys have never met a Wookiee.
You don't know that.
No, I don't.
But I just mean in this game, you have not met a Wookiee yet.
Well, then no.
You have not met a Wookiee yet.
Well, then no.
You want to, but you have not met a Wookiee.
I killed one.
But you also killed one.
No, but that was not like, you know.
They didn't help you.
Zuga 2 helped you.
He was instrumental in taking down Teemo the Hutt.
Yeah, it sounds like somebody we'd forget.
Who was instrumental in Zuga 2?
Oh, yeah.
That guy.
Tuba.
I can teach remote.
You still have to call a TIP to get a sub though.
Because even though I teach remote, there has to be someone in the room.
Uh-oh.
He's...
Wow.
He's arguing with someone.
Oh, what a surprise.
His tree.
Did you say his tree?
He's sitting there yelling at his tree?
Yeah.
Interesting.
All right.
I believe we ended the round, right?
Because it goes to the last one, right?
Yeah.
So now it's Mac's turn.
All right.
Before Mac's turn, you guys hear some blasters and they circle all around you.
Just some heavy blasters coming in.
Just narrowly missing all of the monkeys.
No, it hits one.
And the monkey is exploded with blood.
And is like dead.
And the other monkeys scurry away.
Yeah, that's right.
You leave us alone.
Thus ending combat.
I'm hiding in a bush.
My natural territory.
Everybody roll a simple perception.
By simple or basic perception.
What I mean by that is no difficulty.
Hopefully we perceive something, I guess.
If you don't perceive something with no difficulty,
you guys don't ever deserve it ever.
And, Saren, what was yours?
Two advantages.
And no successes?
You failed?
You failed a simple check?
Oh, my.
Okay.
So, Mac, you recognize,
you were able to,
because you were kind of facing the other way,
you were able to see where it was coming from.
And you saw it was some kind of sniper rifle.
and you recognized it as,
like,
like a clone trooper type weapon.
And it came from the distance.
What?
It came from a distance?
No, no, no.
I didn't hear what you said.
I didn't say anything.
Oh, okay.
Well, yes.
It came from a distance.
You guys know what direction it came from.
And Mac knows that it looked like it was clone trooper equipment.
Is it the same direction that we're traveling in?
No.
All right.
Let's keep running towards the center of the crater then.
Okay.
Away from this blaster fire.
Okay.
Agreed.
These woods are haunted with blasters.
Wait, wait, hold on a second.
I just sit there and I scream out,
Mandy.
It's Mindy.
You don't,
you don't hear anything in response.
Mindy.
Now let's keep running.
Andy.
What?
Hey,
so Mac,
did you,
did you say anything about it or you just noticed that it was clone
trooper stuff?
Uh,
you know,
I,
uh,
just noticed it.
Okay.
So you guys keep running.
You guys just run in the opposite direction.
Yeah.
We're heading to the credit or the center.
Okay.
Uh,
all right.
You guys keep running.
Uh,
it takes,
so you guys are about halfway and you,
you get to the center of the crater and the center of a crater is,
it's like a,
it's a marshy,
like water,
just like a retention pond kind of,
not a retention pond,
but it's just like,
it's water.
There's nothing there.
Oh,
the retention pond.
Oh yeah,
I guess not really retention.
I mean,
I just meant it's shallow.
What an empty retention pond.
We find ourselves in.
All right.
I turn around,
start running right towards where the blaster fire came from.
Then.
Okay.
So you just run.
I was saying,
so you get there,
uh,
you guys look and there's not,
there's not really anything there.
And then you start turning around and running in the complete opposite direction.
Towards wherever the blaster fire came from.
Okay.
I follow it.
Okay.
Uh,
and Mac.
I don't know what you guys are doing,
but I'm like kind of just following along.
Like I'm definitely stealthily,
but you're,
you're hanging back.
Yeah.
Okay.
And I just keep screaming out Mandy.
Okay.
I keep screaming out.
Who's Mandy?
I keep,
I keep whispering.
It's Mindy.
Okay.
Uh,
is it Mandy or Mindy?
That bush just told me it's Mindy.
That stealthy bush.
Bush just said it's Mindy.
So I scream out Mindy.
Uh,
I,
I flipped a,
uh,
dark side point.
Um,
you guys are ensnared in a net and the net grabs around you.
Like one of those,
like,
uh,
I don't know,
nets and it pulls you up and you're hanging by a tree at this point.
It is,
it is only ghost and Sarn.
Okay.
Do I still have my hand on my blaster?
Uh,
it's not in your hand.
I mean,
it didn't fall out,
but yeah,
you have,
you,
you have,
you still have your blaster.
I don't know.
Did you have it out?
Yeah.
Okay.
And you're,
and it's also a rifle.
I took a,
I took a look at what these blaster rifles look like.
They're huge.
You guys have been just sort of wheeling them around.
Neely,
uh,
willy nilly.
Uh,
which I think like it's GTA.
Yeah.
Wait,
what are you just like at GTA with the cheats where you just pull out a
bazooka out of your butt and just start firing at the bird.
I mean,
these things,
they're,
they're gigantic.
So,
I mean,
I don't know what to say about that.
I have like,
I just looked at my items.
I have three guns and a knife hidden on my person.
Yeah.
I feel like some of this is going to need to,
uh,
be reined in,
but for now,
I guess we'll go with it.
This is like the scene at forest company.
He's going back for,
for all the people thinking it's Bubba.
Um,
that's what Sarn's doing.
He's holding,
Sarn's holding the gun as he's running into it.
Okay.
That makes sense.
But now,
now you and ghost are stuck in a,
a bugs bunny,
uh,
net and you guys have just been pulled up.
You're hanging from a tree.
God damn it,
Mandy.
Oh,
and I guess graph is in there too.
Although,
cause I guess he was just blindly running along with you guys.
Whoa,
whoa,
whoa.
Look who's here.
I'm,
I'm still hiding in the bush,
but I'm like,
kind of like,
cause I've been carrying the bush with me.
Well,
well,
all the turntables.
kind of like that net and,
uh,
the Simpsons were like the whole town was caught in that net.
I don't remember.
Why were they in that net?
Oh,
um,
I don't know.
Oh,
that's when they were trying to break the record for being the fattest town.
And then they got stuck.
No,
that was the peak.
No,
that was the pyramid.
Okay.
Well,
whatever.
You guys are stuck in a net and graph is like,
way to go.
I'm just screaming.
Wait,
wait,
crap.
Don't you just scream?
Vibro knife or hollow vibrator.
What?
Vibro knife?
Vibro knife.
Yeah.
You got a vibro saber.
Oh,
I do have a vibro knife.
Wait,
hold on.
What is it?
No,
it's a vibro rapier.
Yeah.
I have a vibro rapier.
I do have one of those.
And he gets it out and he cuts the net and falls out.
All of us?
Or just?
No,
he falls out at first.
And we fall on top of him.
No,
no,
but you guys,
he just falls out of a hole in the net.
So you guys don't immediately fall out,
but if you want to,
you could jump through the hole,
I guess.
Yeah.
I mean,
can,
can Sarn prepare Sarn's self to fall on Sarn's feet?
Sarn,
why are you talking about yourself in the third person?
Sarn has not decided his pronouns is what the problem is.
Yeah.
Sarn's pronoun is Sarn,
which I think was a,
was a poor decision,
but he's,
that's what he's done.
I think it was a poor decision.
Well,
I is not a pronoun.
Oh.
Well,
I mean,
I think technically it is a pronoun,
but.
I think to aliens,
not.
Sarn prepares one self to fall.
That was,
that was,
so.
That was not the eye.
You guys really paused there.
Okay.
So,
so you've,
you wiggle through the hole in the net.
Yes.
I mean,
I really thought the whole thing would just come flying open.
You guys would fall,
but I guess it's not how it works.
Is that what you wanted graph?
I don't know.
I just didn't want to be in the net anymore.
Okay.
So then you jump,
you've,
okay.
If you want to land on your feet,
you're going to have to do a acrobatics.
Acrobatics.
Do we have acrobatics?
No,
we don't.
So I have to do athletics.
Just athletics.
And difficulty.
I don't know.
How difficult do you think that would be?
It sounds kind of hard to me.
Depends on how high the net is.
It's,
I don't know.
20 feet.
Oh,
okay.
Yeah.
It's probably going to be pretty hard.
All right.
I got a success in three threats.
All right.
Uh,
you do,
you do pretty good.
All right,
ghost,
are you coming out or what?
I land,
but like my robo toe hits a small rock.
Oh,
then it just gets stuck in the closed position instead of the open position.
So now you have setback rolls on all your further athletics checks for the rest of the year.
No,
I think it fixed.
It fixes toes.
Able to have a black.
Cause your toe blast.
Does it blast?
Does not blast?
It does.
It's not a blasting toe.
This toe is normal.
All right.
I'm assuming ghost wiggles his way out of there and falls on his,
on his feet right away because he's born of trees.
That's racist.
He's a wookie.
He loves trees.
I am okay with it.
I am born of the trees.
Yeah.
And I love trees.
Okay.
Uh,
uh,
just to make it fair,
tiger.
What do you mean fair?
Do we fail?
I'm,
I'm going to take a strain for that.
Why?
No.
Cause I fell awkwardly.
No,
it's fine.
I wasn't going to make you roll for that,
but you wanted to roll.
So I thought it would add some flavor.
Unfortunately,
it didn't.
Uh,
so,
uh,
yeah,
you guys,
Oh wait,
we can get rid of these monkeys.
The monkeys,
the monkeys are in the net with us.
No,
the monkeys have scattered.
Oh boy.
You always stink.
That was great.
That might just be ghost.
That's ghost.
Okay.
Uh,
and at,
when you hit the ground,
you start to see,
um,
three,
uh,
what look to be like older,
uh,
men,
they look to be like in their sixties and they're wearing like,
um,
armor that,
uh,
let's see,
which ones do you,
one of you,
I guess they're,
they're worn,
they're,
they're like,
it's,
it's clone armor.
So immediately Mac recognizes it,
uh,
as clone armor.
And there's three of them.
Who are you three?
Well,
we could say the same thing to you.
Well,
it's actually a new voice.
My name is Sergeant Turbo.
I'm an assassin bounty hunter.
You didn't really need to add the assassin part.
And I'm still,
I didn't need to.
So one kind of comes up in,
in,
uh,
so two kind of hang back and one comes up like is,
uh,
approaches Mark,
Mark first.
Does he look like Tamura Morrison?
I don't know who that is,
but yes,
I assume you know,
uh,
then where is your,
not in character card?
Oh,
I haven't had one.
We all have one.
Obvious what I'm narrating.
I am Tamura Nune Warrenson.
What did you say it was?
Does he look like a clone?
I look like a clone,
but I'm old.
Okay,
great.
Okay,
great.
But I'm old.
I don't know.
Does,
does,
uh,
does ghost recognize clones?
Yeah,
there was,
yes,
there were,
yes,
there were clones on Kashyyyk still.
Okay.
When I was little.
Okay.
Old clones that stayed there after the war.
Okay.
Oh,
after,
after order 66.
Yeah.
Okay.
Uh,
state your business.
Trooper.
Maybe.
Are you a Republic trooper?
Uh,
uh,
no business of yours.
What are you doing here?
You come,
you've come to,
to our home.
What are you doing with those monkeys?
Well,
mostly running from the monkeys.
We are.
Yeah,
but you killed,
you look like you killed a few of them.
I,
I killed none.
I killed none of them.
Uh,
you guys,
you three killed more.
Oh,
we did.
Yes.
Yeah.
Well,
I know we killed one.
The others scattered.
This is a weird thing to argue about.
Yeah.
So,
so,
wow.
The memory is a tricky thing.
Um,
yeah.
I guess as the clone body ages,
it does not age gracefully.
Neither does its mind.
I like this Wookiee.
Uh,
well,
trooper,
we are here to seek,
uh,
we are seeking information on the Rodarian chain gang.
Uh,
we have information that led us to this crater.
Uh,
you notice they kind of,
they kind of clam up.
They look at each other,
sort of unsure how to answer,
how to answer you.
Or not answer you,
but,
um,
what to do with that information.
Sure.
Yeah.
Um,
okay.
Uh,
well,
we may able to,
we may be able to help you if,
uh,
you can help us.
What do you need?
We,
as you can see,
those,
uh,
Dalios.
Monkeys,
yes.
Yes.
I don't,
I don't know of monkeys.
you don't call them monkeys,
huh?
No,
we don't call them monkeys.
We don't call them prime apes.
We call them,
you just,
I will.
Yeah.
How do you even know?
You just,
wait,
you just,
you just did.
We've been following you for a long time.
Ever since you got here.
And that hunk of junk.
Maybe the most sneaky clones that ever existed.
We're quite sneaky.
And obviously you are right about the hunk of junk thing.
We saw you arrive in that hunk of junk that,
uh,
I assume you call it ship.
I mean,
it was a ship before we had to come to this God forsaken crater.
It's a real piece of shit.
What was your ship?
We don't have one.
All right,
then.
So I wish we had one though.
Now,
let me ask you this.
do you guys know a Mandy or a Mindy?
A who?
Mandy or Mindy?
Max,
they just insulted the Kahuna way.
If you're going to take that.
Oh,
my shot's being aimed.
And then you,
you hear them,
uh,
you hear them chattering amongst each other.
They kind of step back and they make like a little clone huddle,
um,
a little clone bone action.
And,
uh,
they're,
they're thinking.
And they come back to you and say,
you guys should come back to our base.
Uh,
we can talk this thing out.
I think maybe we can come to some sort of arrangement where we can,
uh,
help each other.
before we do,
are you for,
or are you against the butt radar?
Who's the butt radar?
You talking about the Rodarians?
The butt radar leads the Rodarians.
Will you work with him?
That,
I obviously get very angry at this.
The hair on the back of my neck goes up.
Okay.
It's stiff.
Like a cat.
So,
exactly.
You step up on it.
Or a dog or a human even.
Um,
well,
yeah,
I haven't like,
so promised violence,
but I'm certainly angry and looking intimidating.
And,
you know,
I'm like an eight foot tall wookie.
So,
right.
So you're getting,
you,
you take like one small step towards him.
It's not like a super like,
okay,
we're going to brawl now,
but you're clearly agitated at him.
Uh,
you,
he's kind of struck a nerve and,
he gets a little nervous because yes,
you're an eight foot tall wookie.
And,
uh,
they get kind of nervous in the back as well.
And they say,
Hey,
whoa.
Yeah,
we work for him,
but it's kind of the only choice we got.
And it looks like we might be the only choice you got.
So.
I have fond memories of clone troopers from the Republic.
So I shall give you some leeway.
Yeah,
I think we should go to their,
their camp.
So I shall grant you some quarter.
Yeah,
that's a better way to say it.
Okay.
Quarter.
Yes,
I will go with,
I will go to their camp.
Yes,
I will not rip your arms off.
Please don't rip my arms off.
I just said,
I will not.
Well,
please continue to do,
not do so.
Well,
now,
it's awkward about it.
Now I kind of want to again,
but no,
please don't.
I need these for like,
I then grab,
I then grab in the,
in the back and just like,
uh,
he's like,
yeah,
don't,
don't rip his arms off.
My leg got ripped off.
It wasn't fun.
Wait,
who ripped off Kraft's leg?
Uh,
no,
it was an accident,
like a bomb.
Oh,
that's quite different from getting ripped off.
yes,
but it's not fun to have limbs amputated is really all I was trying to,
uh,
you know,
bring to the conversation.
I think it really is just a matter of perspective.
Well,
my perspective is,
uh,
getting your limbs ripped off is bad.
Yes,
which is opposite of mine,
which is,
you want your arms ripped off.
No one was talking about ripping my arms off.
Oh,
right.
Uh,
and,
and then,
uh,
the,
the lead,
the link,
clone trooper,
uh,
kind of looks down over,
uh,
kind of walks over by,
uh,
this,
this vested man in the back.
And it's like,
what say you?
This busted man.
Oh,
this busted man in the back.
You've been awfully quiet over here.
Stealthy even.
Oh,
you can see me.
I guess not that stealthy.
Audibly stealthy,
but,
quite conspicuous.
Was it the bush?
No.
Well,
your vust is yellow.
Oh,
no,
it's not.
What color is it?
But no,
I saw you.
You coming with the what?
All right.
Can I bring the bush?
Right.
No,
no,
the bush is attached to the ground.
It's got roots.
I've been carrying this bush for about a mile.
Oh,
I didn't know it was that kind of bush.
All right.
So,
clone troopers start walking away.
And they expect you to follow them.
I start following,
but the gun,
my,
my gun's always at the ready.
I'm not.
I'm in a,
I'm in a tense,
but like no weapons drawn or anything.
Like my shoulders are tense,
but I'm just following.
Arms down at my sides.
And Mac has a bush in his hands.
Wait,
it's in his hands.
He's carrying the bush.
He loves his bush.
He says he's been,
he's been walking with it for two miles.
I don't know.
I've been able to see me so far.
Except for that one clone trooper.
Everyone's been able to see you.
No,
I'm not convinced.
I think it was only the one clone trooper.
And I've got,
and I have my respect for him and his vision is I'm startled.
Here's something about him.
Mac.
We were not able to see you,
but we were,
however,
able to see a walking bush.
He was.
There's something special.
Listen,
don't try to cover.
There's something special about this clone trooper.
Mark my words.
I,
I walk up to Mac and smack the bush out of his hand.
I smack you.
I pick it up and I smack you in the back of the butt.
In the back of the butt with the bush.
The back of the butt.
Yeah.
Is that the genital area?
Hey,
back there,
you guys always pick on this much.
Yes.
Hey,
you want a piece of this?
That bush.
It's walking around carrying a bush.
It's my stealth.
Oh,
okay.
Then it's my camouflage.
We don't all blend in with the environment here.
okay,
star.
All right.
Um,
the robo to glistens in the sunlight.
I don't stand out at all.
or I don't blend in at all.
Okay.
You guys,
you guys come back to,
um,
you follow them back to the,
their encampment and you get back and you see like a,
one of those like civil war,
like,
one of those like civil war,
basic,
like encampments.
There's a couple of tents around like a,
uh,
like a fire,
but the tents look like they've been there for a while.
So they're not just like canvas.
They're,
they're a little bit more than that.
They're like somewhere between tents and like,
let's say like log cabins.
Um,
although one of the tents is sort of built around like a cave.
I'm just imagining like a stick fort with canvas.
Yeah.
All right.
Fine.
That's good.
Close enough.
And,
um,
the,
you,
you follow them,
you walk up and you see the three clone troopers disappear into like the
one that's in the side of like a,
like a mountain.
It's kind of like a,
uh,
cave type thing.
And I follow,
I want to follow them.
Uh,
okay.
Um,
well,
I mean,
we're supposed to follow them.
So yeah,
no,
that's fine.
Uh,
but before you walk in there,
okay,
so you don't walk all the way in before coming out.
Um,
another storm trooper,
uh,
or storm trooper comes out.
So now there is four.
And he comes out and they said,
and the,
the main one that was talking to you is a Sarge.
Here they are.
These are the guys we found.
they were fighting the monkeys.
And by monkeys,
I mean,
the tailios.
We don't call them monkeys.
We don't even know what monkeys are.
Nor do we know what primates are.
I've heard that they're called permits.
Nor monkeys.
Uh,
permits.
Uh,
no,
they,
they were making a little bit of headway.
I think they killed one.
They were like using it to fight the other ones and like,
like throw them at them.
I did kill one.
It was,
it was quite ineffective.
it looked effective from where we were.
Uh,
you were making some headway.
Ineffective.
I missed.
You did miss that time,
but I think perhaps in the fullness of time,
you may have picked it up and thrown it again.
And who knows?
That second time.
Quite ineffective.
Was actually a Pokemon joke.
Another Pokemon joke.
No,
I know.
Just like the tackle in,
uh,
the first time you fought him,
but still.
The art of throwing monkeys is a very,
very,
uh,
wait,
I made a Pokemon joke when I wasn't even here.
No,
when you were here,
you made the same joke.
You,
you said,
uh,
ghost tackled.
it was ineffective.
Oh,
but,
uh,
sorry to digress.
I remember that.
yeah,
it was weird that graph remember.
All that about memory.
It's a crazy thing.
Uh,
so,
yeah,
these guys,
they,
uh,
I don't know if they would have fought,
would have killed all of them,
but,
you know,
they killed more than zero,
which is,
uh,
pretty good in my book.
It is pretty good.
Uh,
do you guys have any healing supplies?
I can use a stim pack or two.
Wait,
wait,
wait.
And this is the,
the,
the main guy.
He's got like,
yeah,
this is Sarge.
He comes,
he comes up to you.
He says,
you guys were fighting the monkeys.
At least twice.
Yes.
And you killed a few of them and threw one at the,
at the others.
Well,
you're not,
you're not afraid of them.
and you know how to kill them.
Uh,
yeah.
Blasters.
What brings you here?
That's the secret.
Mandy.
Mindy.
Or Mindy.
I don't know a Mandy.
But a Mindy.
I don't know a Mindy.
What about a man-eye?
I do not know a man-eye.
No,
man-eye.
Man-eye.
You know,
it was not a,
man-eye.
No,
I was not trying to trick you with pronunciation.
I do not know that person.
What about the butt radar?
Do you know the butt radar?
I know of the butt radar.
I've never met the butt radar.
Do you know how to get into contact with the butt radar?
Uh,
I do not know how to get in touch with the butt radar.
I do work for the radar.
We do.
And he kind of points amongst them.
We,
as you can see,
are former clones.
I'm sorry.
Just going to come out with it.
Just get the elephant out of the room.
Pretty sure you still are clones.
I suppose we are still clones.
Uh,
we were formerly clone troopers.
I guess we're still clone troopers.
It's a good way.
It's just a matter of perspective.
However-
Well,
you're at least still clones.
You may not still be troopers.
Oh,
we're trooping.
Never stop trooping.
Yet the Republic no longer exists.
No.
No,
we lost our jobs.
I got laid off.
In the,
in the great war of
Order 66.
When they didn't need us anymore,
we,
uh,
came out here.
And,
uh,
Let me ask you this.
Yeah.
Sarge.
Yup.
How many Jedi have you killed?
It was a blur.
And he sort of looked,
he looks around.
He's not really happy
and sort of sad and forlorn.
You kind of,
his eyes kind of roll
in the back of his head.
He has like,
uh,
a vision.
Um,
and it's very emotional for him.
And he turns back
and he says,
I don't like to talk about it.
What Jedi did you serve under?
Uh,
all the,
all the good ones.
The great ones.
Like?
Uh,
he said he doesn't want to talk about it.
I don't want to talk about that time of my life.
It was,
uh,
terrible.
and you don't understand what it was like.
You could never understand.
All right.
So,
do you have any healing supplies?
We've got some.
And he,
he turns to another,
uh,
another clone trooper
and kind of points at him
and he says,
uh,
yeah,
that's Oak over there.
Uh,
he does our,
our,
uh,
our healing around here.
Uh,
yeah,
he could,
uh,
we can heal you if
that's within both of our interests.
All right.
So I start walking towards Oak.
I put my arm around him.
Uh,
Oak is kind of,
uh,
he gets kind of nervous
when you start putting your arm around him
and he's like,
Hey,
uh,
hello.
I hate midgets.
This is very difficult for everyone.
Hey,
hello,
he says.
I need some healing.
Good,
sir.
I know you do,
but I don't know that we've figured out
if it's in both of our interests yet.
Oh,
it would definitely be in both of our interests.
And Sarge comes over
and he says,
he puts his arm around you
and says,
let's,
let's have a chat for a little bit
before we do anything.
Can't do that.
If my arm hurts.
Okay.
I,
you know what?
This is getting nowhere.
Uh,
I'm,
I'm glad that we met you.
I'm glad that neither of us
killed anyone,
but,
uh,
we're going to go back over
and,
uh,
just keep to our,
continue to keep to ourselves.
Well done.
Sorry.
I'm just being nice to him.
No,
you guys know the way out,
right?
just,
uh,
no,
up,
up ish in any direction
or we're at the center of a crater.
Yeah,
that sounds about right.
Well,
see you later.
So I turn to walk away
and I take a stun grenade.
I throw it behind me
to detonate
an impact
into the group
of all four of them.
Uh,
well,
yeah,
the impact happens
when it hits the ground.
Yeah.
In the middle of all four of them.
Well,
it depends if it's like based on a timer
or if it's based on an impact.
Well,
yeah,
but you said,
I said,
it's an impact.
So I toss it behind me
into the group of all four of them.
Okay.
This is a terrible idea.
Why would you do this?
I mean,
I,
are you guys going to try and stop him?
I know that,
Matt,
you sound like this is not a thing
that you want to do.
You should talk to him.
You don't want to do this.
I reach up and try and attempt
to grab the grenade out of the air.
All right.
Hold on.
No,
no,
hold on.
Hold on.
I prime the grenade.
No,
as I'm walking away.
What are you?
Why would,
just because they get along with him,
he'll heal you up.
We'll do them a favor.
Let's,
let's,
let's cool.
Cool.
We don't need to be blowing things up.
Or we kill them all,
take all of their supplies
in their armor
and pretend to be them
except for ghosts.
Like that's a little fucked up,
but
you,
you can't be in their armor.
Sorry.
Be in their armor.
How do Twi'leks do that?
That,
that might be a plan eventually,
but let us first find out
what they know.
I don't think they're,
they're bad guys.
I don't think we need to murder them
to,
to get rid of them.
They were for the,
they were for the Rotarian chain gang.
They are certainly not good guys,
but I also do not advocate,
but I also do not advocate
killing them outright,
right now.
Let us first,
they also saved you from all the monkeys.
I want to get the butt radar.
These men,
these clones are insignificant.
Let us first find out what they are.
I heard you say,
no,
we're not insignificant.
No,
you didn't hear me.
Oh,
you're right.
But I didn't like it.
If I did,
the insignificant to our goals,
it is hardly offensive to them.
All right.
I'm going to go to the bath.
I'm,
I,
all right.
I have to go to the bathroom.
All right.
Go pee.
I'm going to walk away,
but I'm going to flip the light side point
to sneak in to the tent
that they were in.
Okay.
Well,
I want to see what's in there.
Thank God.
That was the most shocked
I've ever seen God look.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm going to use the light side point
to take a nap.
in that tent.
If only,
if only he would,
Sarum would just take a nap.
Okay.
So you,
you can use a light side point
to try and sneak past,
uh,
them.
You will,
you can have a boost for
a reason to do a stealth check.
And what is the reason?
Well,
I tell them I have to go to the bathroom.
Okay.
So that,
that's some,
some cover.
So I start walking.
Yeah.
Well,
nothing suspicious,
nothing suspicious about that.
Just,
uh,
just,
uh,
Twilight going to the bathroom.
And,
oh,
I guess I get a boost to stealth.
Okay.
So you're going to have two boosts
because you flipped the light side point.
All right.
pretty,
pretty good.
So I get two stealth,
right?
Two boosts,
you mean?
Boost.
Yeah.
And it's going to be hard,
uh,
because you're trying to sneak past soldiers.
Wait,
hold on.
No,
it would be against their,
uh,
their vigilance,
which will be,
uh,
three red,
three red.
Yes.
No purple.
Uh,
I guess I get five advantages,
but not successful.
Yeah.
No.
Um,
so your advantages are that they don't notice that you're sneaking around.
Uh,
but you get enough sense from them kind of,
so it's like one of those things where you like take a step and they kind of look back.
Then you take another step and they kind of look back and they don't see what you're doing,
but you're making just enough noise that they like look back.
And then as soon as they start looking,
you undo the step,
uh,
but you can't get one on them to get further back.
Okay.
But as you,
as you do that,
you sort of walk away.
Um,
and it leaving just ghost and Mac.
Um,
and I guess,
I put the sun grenade,
I put the sun grenade back into my pocket,
I guess.
Um,
but Mac and ghost star sort of,
so the,
the clone troopers have started to,
uh,
walk away from you.
Um,
as Sarn walked away,
and,
but Mac and ghost are still like close to the,
the clone troopers.
Okay.
So,
um,
I go to talk to the clone troopers.
Um,
I,
what I'm coming to see,
what are,
what do we know what they're doing here yet?
Have I,
did I miss that?
They're just here.
You guys haven't really at,
you guys haven't really talked to them at all other than asking.
Yeah.
We've just been threatening them.
How about,
yeah,
I come up to them and I use,
uh,
let's,
can I do like a,
uh,
what's a,
one of my checks,
like some kind of,
uh,
well,
first maybe get their attention.
Well,
yeah,
I'm going to walk up.
Just want to make sure I know what I'm doing before I do anything.
but,
uh,
I go up to them and I say,
sorry for my friend there.
Um,
I was trying to see,
who are you?
Uh,
my name is,
I didn't see you before behind that bush.
Uh,
yes,
I am the master of disguise.
I am a bush.
I was a bush.
I can teach you how to be that bush.
A walking bush.
I am a walking bush.
It's a technique.
How long have you been carrying that bush?
Frankly,
you stormtroopers should be carrying more bushes with you.
You might be less shot.
Uh,
well,
no,
we're still very much alive.
Uh,
but have you been shot before?
Yes.
A lot.
Well,
it's bush time,
baby.
Okay.
And like,
yeah,
can I,
have I won them over with my charm?
Can I throw a charm at them?
Uh,
sure.
Cause I feel that's,
that was pretty charming right there.
Have you ever been shot before?
Charmed.
Bush time,
baby.
You open with that on a first date.
Yeah.
Well,
right.
Yeah.
I,
if only I thought of like,
just holding up a bush.
It's a,
it's the simple things in life,
my friend,
my simple things.
your green friend.
Uh,
it's not very friendly.
Pushy.
I might add,
but a little good situation.
And let me tell you,
you should see her wheeled,
uh,
him.
Uh,
you should see Sarn wield a gun.
Well,
I saw him blast the shit out of that,
uh,
that tailio.
It was,
uh,
well,
no,
he didn't,
but my,
my boys told me that,
uh,
yeah,
it was,
he,
he exploded.
Uh,
well,
no,
he didn't explode.
Good person to have,
good person to have in a tight situation.
Not good for negotiation.
And he's a little shit.
And Sarn's a little grumpy because he's,
uh,
you know,
it's kind of menstruating.
no,
that's very,
very,
we're very frank as clones.
Also,
we haven't met a lot of women.
If you catch my drift,
that's not,
believe me,
they,
Sarn's not the one you want to meet.
I don't know.
I've since learned that.
Uh,
well,
listen,
what are you guys doing down in this crater?
We're here on a mission from,
you know,
but we can't,
uh,
you know,
try and look for somebody,
but what are you guys doing down here?
well,
yeah,
we just sort of hang out in this crater.
We take our jobs.
Uh,
you know,
because,
because of,
because of our,
where we're from,
uh,
basically test tubes,
uh,
clones,
uh,
we age.
More like,
more like fats,
fats,
fats.
Oh,
that's yes.
Yes.
They were,
you know,
I don't remember,
uh,
but,
uh,
yeah,
something like that.
Yeah.
We age,
uh,
somewhat more harshly than,
uh,
most humans.
And we've sort of retired here.
Uh,
we take our jobs when we can,
but,
uh,
you know,
we're not wanting much anymore.
That sounds,
that,
yeah,
well,
I'm sorry to hear that.
Are you,
it sounds like you guys got a really nice place here.
Really great retention pond.
Do you like our,
our tents?
I do.
And you know what?
the sticks and the canvas really,
I didn't think it would work,
but once you get in there,
it's very roomy and spacious.
You've been in one of them.
Well,
I poked my head and I didn't go in there.
I'm not rude,
but you know,
I wanted to say,
were you doing it when you were camouflaged by that bush?
Did you invade our privacy?
No,
no,
no.
I was just curious about the construction about these tents.
I mean,
no,
they're made of sticks and canvas.
You guys put together a mean tent.
I can't,
it's the canvas?
And sticks.
Uh,
yeah,
so yeah,
we take on our jobs around here in the crater.
Um,
you know,
this is,
this is a former,
former,
um,
Republic base.
You guys seem a bit like your living situation.
A bit tense.
What is that?
Is that a joke?
I don't understand.
And you see,
you see all the clone troopers look at each other.
They don't quite understand what you've done because you're,
you've just said this pun.
You're quite proud of yourself and you're laughing and they don't understand why.
But it's,
it's my laugh so charming that they're just kind of go with it.
Uh,
I guess you can roll a charm check for that if you want.
Okay.
Another charm check.
Charm.
Oh,
I am so charming.
Uh,
yeah,
they,
they seem to take,
to have taken a liking to you.
So they see that you're happy with what you've done.
And,
um,
they're happy.
You're happy.
Only charm.
No harm.
Just charm.
Max guy.
Blade.
Max guy.
Blade.
Uh,
yeah,
no,
I don't understand what you're doing,
but I'm glad you're happy.
Um,
but memory's a tricky thing.
What were we talking about?
Uh,
well,
I was just trying to figure out what you guys are doing here.
We're,
we're told to go here for,
to meet somebody named Mindy or Mandy,
but,
uh,
no,
Mandy.
But yes,
we do.
I know.
I overheard you.
We do work for the audience.
I have no idea.
Uh,
we know,
you know,
roughly,
we know where they are.
What are your,
what are your names?
Uh,
me,
I am,
let me check my name tag.
I am Zeke.
Sergeant Zeke,
you can call me.
All right,
Sergeant.
And you've already met,
well,
at least one of you tried to meet Oak.
And then here are my boys.
Right.
The healer.
Who are the three that,
uh,
showed us in?
Here,
here are my boys.
Jake,
Rafe,
and Tojo.
They all,
they all sort of nod at you.
That's us.
We're,
we're the,
the clones.
You know,
just,
uh,
trying to make,
trying to make ends meet down here.
It's not sure why our contact sent us down here to meet you.
To meet us?
Why haven't they sent you to meet us?
Well,
you're the only ones down here.
They told us to come to the,
center of the crater.
Is there anyone else?
No,
we're not the only ones down here.
Who else is down here?
The Reddarians are down here.
Uh,
wait,
they live here?
At the bottom of this crater?
Uh,
well,
there's a base.
And yeah,
they're in the base.
They call it the vault.
Uh,
but yeah,
it's a former Republic base.
Uh,
tell you the truth.
And,
and there's no Mindy there.
I don't know who's there,
but maybe there's a Mindy.
You said you work with the Reddarians.
Yeah.
All right,
fine.
Mindy's also our contact over at the Reddarians.
Oh,
wow.
I mean,
she kind of like hires us to do our jobs.
Uh,
you know,
I don't really like them.
They're not a reputable set of people,
but they're the only ones that are going to hire us.
Hmm.
I had no idea the discrimination that you would face would be this serious.
Yeah.
And who wants,
who wants to hire an old clone?
I guess nobody except Mindy.
Mindy.
Yeah.
They throw us scraps when,
uh,
they got,
when they can,
you know,
scraps.
So anyway,
you've mentioned before that you can help us.
Uh,
so if,
what,
wasn't it for you?
What do you want from us in exchange for helping us,
uh,
with our mission?
Well,
tell you the truth.
We were a bit impressed by your,
uh,
monkey killing skills.
And by monkeys,
I mean,
tailios,
cause I don't know what monkeys are,
but we were,
uh,
they've been pestering us for quite a while now,
ever since we've been down here,
we haven't been really,
really able to get rid of them.
Uh,
we would like to be rid of them.
You think you can help us?
So wait,
let me get this straight.
Yes.
You are comfortable giving up your only job source in exchange for pest control.
That's basically what I'm saying.
we spend most of our money on pest control.
I guess what I'm saying.
Now,
now I understand why you're living at the bottom of a crater and you only can take certain jobs.
we rush,
we rush down here,
trying not to fight these monkeys.
Right.
We'll go back out and fight these monkeys.
Uh,
yeah,
yes,
we can kill,
we'll kill,
we'll kill some monkeys for you.
If that'll help,
if that'll make you help us.
If that'll help,
if,
me,
I don't understand how you guys can't fight the monkeys.
They're pretty susceptible to the plaster fire.
But it's not matter.
But they also are very strong and they might kill you.
Well,
yeah,
and they killed one of us.
But so what is super droid?
And yet you guys fought those by in the dozens.
Not three of us.
Well,
there's not three of you.
These monkeys are big and strong,
and we would like help.
And if you're going to fight us and whether or not we need help,
you can get,
just get the fuck out of here.
I'm going to put some monkey extermination about you guys.
And,
and you know what?
I don't need your,
I don't need your tone either.
And you can just go fuck off like that green one.
You know what?
I like the charming guy.
Let me talk to him.
He doesn't have any questions.
Because I feel like God's just getting a little impatient.
No,
I'm getting impatient.
And I'm not God.
Well,
that's a joke.
Sarn comes back.
Yes.
When he says that green one.
Yeah.
And I go,
what the fuck?
What?
You're talking about me?
Yeah.
You're awfully pushy.
Yeah.
I have a name.
Yeah.
Well,
you didn't tell me what it was.
Instead,
you just demanded healing.
and you went over and you're hugged my medic.
And I walk up and poke him in the chest.
And I go,
my name is Sarn Turbo.
Okay.
Good to know.
And I will speak to your supervisor.
Roll for initiative.
I'm not rolling for initiative.
I'm not fighting anybody.
I'm not rolling.
Why am I fighting anybody?
Listen,
we've had a discussion.
I'll fight them all.
We've discussed it as clowns.
And we figure
either
we
kill these monkeys
and
then help you
with your
problem.
We don't like the monkeys.
They eat all our food.
So it doesn't matter
how much we do these ideas.
I already said we'd kill your monkeys.
You question my motives.
I did because they don't seem very
they don't seem to make much sense.
But okay,
we'll kill the monkeys.
I don't care if you make sense or not.
We'll kill the monkeys.
Heal me first.
Please.
Yes.
In exchange for killing the monkeys,
we would request healing.
We will not be able to
kill the monkeys with him
injured.
That makes a lot of sense.
With they injured.
Yes.
Right.
Well,
we will attempt
we will
we will heal your
your comrade.
You know his name.
I forgot already.
What's his name?
I poke him in the chest again.
And go,
it's Sarn
Turbo.
Okay.
Like,
really lame last name.
Monkey exterminator.
All right.
Well,
Oak,
do you think
Sounds kind of like a Hot Wheels car.
Turbo song.
Yeah,
okay.
I can remember that.
Uh,
Oak,
do you think you can heal him?
Them.
Who?
I am not.
A him.
It's 2022.
Sarn.
Sorry.
Can you heal her?
I am not.
Sarn.
You are the most disagreeable.
Just Sarn.
I am Sarn.
Heal Sarn.
Okay.
So,
so Oak comes over by you and says,
okay,
what's your problem?
Oh,
no,
Sarn's got the high voice.
Or not Sarn,
not Oak.
Watch it.
Watch me.
No,
not that high.
What's your problem?
It hurts.
What?
Yes.
Oh,
boy.
Okay,
this is going to be tough.
And,
let's see.
Stimpak,
please.
And,
what do we,
I don't remember for the healing,
what,
what difficulty is it?
Oh,
I guess if it's less than half.
Is it more or less than half?
It's less than half.
Okay,
so it's too difficult,
I believe.
Oh,
he doesn't have a Stimpak?
check,
fail.
So he tries to,
Oak doesn't have a Stimpak?
You know what?
You're doing a lot of yelling around here.
I don't appreciate it.
You are guests.
You don't get to just yell around here.
I don't know who you are.
You're a stranger,
and you start yelling about my Stimpaks.
How many times do I have to tell you?
I am Sarn Turbo.
Okay,
so he,
he,
he takes,
he takes something out of his backpack.
It looks vaguely like a Stimpak.
and he shoves it into your arm,
pulls the trigger,
and it,
it does heal you,
but it also knocks you out.
All right,
I guess I had that coming.
And,
uh,
how much does it kill me?
It heals you.
You went the opposite way.
Oh,
I did go the wrong way.
Jesus Christ.
Uh,
but you are,
you are now incapacitated.
Fine,
I'll just fucking leave then.
All right.
And,
you know what,
you got some strain too.
What the hell?
Fine.
Understandable.
Okay.
Uh,
all right,
then how about at,
uh,
dusk,
we take a look at these,
uh,
you guys help us with a monkey problem.
Sound good?
Got it.
Monkey extermination.
I'll come up with some monkey plugs for next time.
All right.
That,
uh,
is it,
I guess,
for this session.
you