do you know the rule andy can you can you tell me how it works
the spells yeah i don't need to know but i'm kind of curious
i don't know off of hand because i know he has to study for it right so he only has
i think because i think it's like in the other game where i can have as many cantrips as i want
but i need um i can only have so many spells used for once per which should be exactly the same as
dungeons and dragons yeah so i'm thinking what i'm just gonna do is mage armor and magic missile
because that just sounds awesome maybe she no shield and magic missile and how many you can use
those ones the ones you have prepared at first level you have you can use i think you can use it i think
you have three three spell slots at the first level but what is the slot so you can use either magic
missiles or what was the other one mage armor as many times you want for each one no okay but just
one three times one yeah so each slot is one use of either okay mage armor or magic missile can you
have doubles like two slots of the same thing yeah you have three slots you have those two spells
prepared okay you can use all three on magic missile or all three on mage armor or two and one okay okay
so i'm gonna do three i'm gonna do magic missile shield and sleep okay can't you just sleep on like
you need i'm assuming it's not me sleep you can't sleep on someone else oh
okay it comes in handy in these type of games you would not notice but it does
anything would have helped last time i feel like we were really taking up the ass so well so yeah
there was but that's because there was 50 fucking goblins there was earlier now it's 50 yeah i didn't
think we should attack them
there was a door that someone didn't tell us about until halfway through the battles oh yeah there's
there's another door over here no it's the door you came in no oh you okay i didn't have the door
you guys came in right on the the uh the screen okay okay but after that battle after you guys died
three times and mr poopy butthole saved your life um it was it happened to be in like the bedroom
sleeping quarters of the the
the
the dungeon so you guys just fell asleep there and while you were sleeping it was a long rest so you
gained help your health and nice your spell slots back
nice
i just passed out
huh did you know according this thing magic can't put me to sleep
yeah i saw that
i've gotten incredible insomnia
all right and then on top of that you guys will level up
can doing it how much health did we gain
say all of it from the law all of it yeah yeah
all right so where was i some some i've i already adjusted it in there
i'm trying to keep it on paper too so i don't know what my total is
eight or no you were 12 i'm sorry
well okay you were 12 on the sheet
and i'm eight right it says under where it says armor class initiative speed right in the middle
it says maximum hit points 12
yeah right here
oh it does it's really small though yeah for some reason
okay point maximum eight
yeah all right so plus plus 11 plus 11 one well i was at one so i'm all the way i've got plus 11
yeah it was a long rest it's been a couple weeks weeks yeah oh god
so so some some roll a d 10
okay i'm just gonna roll it in the chat okay
so you got a three plus two so you had five more hit points
oh because i'm leveling up yes nice so you said i had five yeah i already threw it onto your sheet
okay so i'm level two now yes
which was your second level you gain action action surge which is you can push yourself beyond your normal
limits for a moment on your turn you can take one additional action on top of your regular action
and a possible bonus action how often uh to do for it just says for a moment so on your turn on your
turn so any turn i can take an extra action yeah oh and once once you use this feature you want to
finish a short or long rest before you can use it again oh so it's only it's like once a day
once once a oh i see i see uh boo can you roll a d6 please
did you roll it in the in the chat uh just so do you see where you can type in the chat there's
like a chat box at the bottom yeah uh type in slash r and then space and then d20 all one word
no or 10 oh sorry d6
so boo gains six points oh you got more than me yeah
so from from eight points so now you're at 14 which i've already added in
weed
seven
nice all right so on second level you can prepare five spells you can only use first
level three times though okay well i'm just gonna prepare two more spells then i mean you only have
seven so you're probably add that what is it called again action surge i want to do another magic missile
no you don't have to do that oh you have three spell slots you prepare five and you can use those three
spell slots for any of them i'm confused all right so you have there's three spell slots that you can use
you can use magic three times okay all right you have five spells prepared
okay okay and you can use any any five of those three times okay it's not like you have to have two magic missiles prepared in one
whatever oh how many can he prepare five
i see and he's got five prepared and you can only use magic three times okay so outside of cantrips
so then i'm just gonna add two more than to that i mean uh mage armor and uh detect mat or burning hands i guess
okay uh when you use those i will have to look them up yeah
yeah
i'm just i'm just making sure i put it on there mage
yeah so the two you're not using is
is are which ones i think i got them uh detect magic and burning hand no
no which ones aren't you using mage armor right i you know i just said major
okay then shield i shield was what i did my first time the first three times when i before i upgraded
i was going to use magic missile shield and mat and um
sleep and uh i'm sorry what was it sleep sleep yeah sleep i'm sorry okay so now you're not taking
which one detect magic or mage armor i was going to add mage armor and detect magic since you said i had
two more spots so okay so you're not taking burning hands yeah i don't know what that is
yeah me neither
we i you want me to look it up really quick just in case if it is cool probably yeah
there's it's probably it might be in here andy what is that called spells yeah it would be under
spells all right so what's it called burning hands burning hand yeah
yeah it's in here so if you go to the compendium so on on the right there's the chat uh combat uh the
last one is the gear which is settings the second to last one looks like a book with a globe on it
that's compendium packs okay and in there uh there's a there's a folder called spells it says spells srd
which is i don't know source rule description or something like that oh okay if you click on that it
brings up a search box gotcha and you can type in stuff so you can type in burning hands and it tells
you what it is did you find it boo lsrd yeah if you double click that then you'll get a search box you
can type in any spell
and when you said i had action surge andy yeah what is that called what is that action search
yeah but is it like a ability is it a a skill what's it called it doesn't say
oh feature is it a feature or a trait could be a trait let's see feats
it's called action okay yeah i'll change it to burning hands it's a fire base attack
i don't know we know how much you like those you know me
plus detect magic doesn't really like oh it's under class features i was just under there
uh it's not under feats it's under action or i mean under class features yeah gdb action
or class features no not ddb i don't know what ddb is
which is it's it's it's under item and it's class features srd
towards the top
it's under items yeah so there's one i there's a there's a section called actor then item
it says backgrounds and then class features no no i i can't see that that's strange you should
do you see where it's at i have a little locked symbol next to it but i you can still open it
under under items yeah so there's item then you see background
no so oh really how can i see it and you can't
i have items srd and then under it says items item dnd 5e
i think you're looking i think that must be a different one that you're because i see items
do you want me to share my screen and show you or you don't care no we can figure out
um i am sharing the wrong oh my glob
that's not what i wanted what was that i shared the i shared discord instead of my entire screen
that was like the mirror zone yeah
oh
see if he does that again uh
yeah you can see my arrow right so here's
here's a section where it says item
so there's if you scroll all the way to the top you have actor
item and under item there's class features and action
okay class feature gotcha
okay all right you guys stop looking at my screen though cheat
how would we cheat i don't know andy but you would
i would not you guys are dirty you're good
okay so you wake back up in the morning or whatever the hell it is you have no idea
you're underground
yeah we've been sleeping for weeks probably yeah i was so tired yeah and now you're all healed and
everything i mean the room smells bad because of the rotten goblin corpses but that's nothing
well because of uh
uh
the sturge's poop we did nothing to uh
move the goblins before you took a week-long nap no you just passed out
you couldn't help it that's part of mr booby mr poopy butthole's magic okay
he can't he can revive us from near-death experiences but cannot
in any way help the smell
okay so what do you guys want to do well um so basically our only motivation is to
continue to explore the strange place um
i'm kind of pissed off at this point
in real life or in the game no and in game sorry i should have put in character
that's all right you'll get it
yeah i'm mad yeah i feel like i've been made a fool of
well you were knocked out by goblins yes
but it was luck and i need to avenge i'm gonna kill their mother
oh my goodness their mother or i mean
or grandmother whichever one i get to first
why do you have to attack the opposite gender
they is not no i i'm a woman
i am a strong independent woman and nobody knocks me out for a week
nobody nobody
good not even brad well yes but that's only because i let him enthusiastically
oh i don't need to hear that i'm right here
uh what what i forgot your name here here jerry jerry jerry jerry jerry jerry jerry
jerry jerry jerry i'm an independent woman and if i want to let brad put me into a week-long
coma sex coma then i'm gonna do it i'm almost 18 almost
uh all the way so uh yeah we should go forward
all right what door
so uh when we came in those goblins were poised against this door right the one on the right
they were expecting they were expecting us to come in through this one yeah i think maybe we should go
through that one the goblin door well the goblins were expecting us to come in this door so we
should go out it that's what i'm thinking
all right you got
you're refutable
we have to find your way
yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna sashay through that door
sashay
sashay i'm an independent woman you gotta do it
i don't own a token with vision for this i got black screen yeah you gotta turn off token vision
yeah i have to put the tokens in there first
well yeah i guess you could do that but i still don't have vision
vision as vision right
uh no you want to you want to turn the way where are you at the settings for the scene
uh no i would just turn off vision for the room so go to the config for the scene and turn off token vision unless you have like walls and shit set up in here which i doubt i do not
i lick my balls lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick or no no no that's not what it is i eat grass grass grass taste bad oh yeah all right what about now yeah okay all right so that green that green box is a door yeah it's not the door you came in because i didn't think that would be a problem okay so but there is another door that is the door we came in
yeah so this dusty this dusty old room features a sweet ass treasure chest you sense that bling is imminent
oh bling that's good
all right so what do you do
uh jerry when you're done rolling around you want to talk about this bling i'm i'm having a hard time here
all right i'm gonna continue to sashay towards the bling
uh this is here i'm gonna crawl there this is this looks like the bling box
um i'm going to attempt to open the bling box all right then roll a dexterity saving terminal
i'm hiding is that a
feature no skill save
dexterity
yeah
uh normal
right yeah you don't really have a choice here
well there's like advantage and disadvantage so
okay
all right all of a sudden you hear this all buzzing
and as you heard that you were able to jump out of the way
sweeps across the edge of the
the treasure chest
but what is it you died it was a solid blade oh jesus that came out but you were able to dodge it
because you're so dexterous well what the fuck so
so jerry you tried i i know i saw it from over here
oh boy these are dad jokes now i know i'm a great dad all right so inside of the chest is
210 gold pieces
400 don't write don't don't write that down that's not for you
and what
410 silver pieces
okay
i gotta look up like this one
uh
three
called ep electrum pieces
electro
electrum
what the hell is electrum
all right
two potions of healing
oh
and a ruby that smells like fresh baked cherry pie
cherry pie
a ruby like a stone that smells like pie
yeah
hmm
can't really do anything with that can you
hey cure check out how this bling i found
is that cake
um
it's a type of cake
can i have a bite
i i wouldn't
all right
fine
i mean it's more of a ruby than a pie but it smells like
can i can i try to take a bite out of it
i mean it smells a lot better than i smell right now i know that
and i i toss you i toss you the ruby
good
i didn't want to smell it anyway i'll put it in my pocket
what is it some kind of ruse
i'm your father i know best
all right well then i'm taking this this bling and uh i grab the healing potion and i throw it to
you you're gonna need this before i do
i catch it
i'd fall over
okay but i'd take the other one
fine you can have it i don't want it anyway
you don't you probably don't even know
all right and are we gonna split this gold no i'm taking it you took the ruby
gold
no i'll take
some of the gold
you can have the silver we can be fine i'll take silver
you don't win gold who's gonna get the electron
what the hell is the electron
let's split the electron
down the middle yeah you can do that
no i it's more there's three pieces oh
okay cool all right you're gonna have since you're taking the uh the silver you're gonna have two
electrons i'll take one electron one electron and 210 gold yeah
and how much silver 410 holy cannoli i feel like i might have gotten the raw deal on this
you've got 210 gold pieces in one
electron piece
you got 410 silver pieces
and two electron pieces
i'm into gold ruby
yeah but it smells like pie
so i feel like it's a trap
it smells like fresh baked cherry pie
i put down smelly ruby
worst worst porn name ever
all right where you guys want to go next
so you got the door you came in
or you can press forward
i say is there anything else to see about the room
no that's it just the
the treasure chest
no god damn it boom
is the sword supposed to be part of my imagination
yes
imagination
there's the british nation and the imagination
huh all right yeah let's let's let's go through that door
the door you haven't gone into yet
um there's only one door no there's the one you came in and the one you
you don't need to tell me about the door we came in
apparently i do okay fine the door we didn't come in
all right
do
should i be drawing a map
yes go right ahead do that
all right all right
all right
go ahead
oh so this is like one of those
uh-oh french
are we in a cage match
all right
so you enter the door
and a pair of perfectly rounded stone mounds
cleft artfully straight down the middle filled
fills this room
looks a lot like a butt from where you're standing
something shiny glints near the ceiling about four feet above what
what can only be described as this huge butt
just calling it like i see it
huh that looks like a butt
all right yes i think it does
uh you said something's hanging from it
yeah
like a dingleberry
no because
shiny shiny dingleberry
and wait i thought the butt was on the ground
the butt's on the ground
the butt is on the ground
i so i i bet i can hit that dingleberry and get it down
with your arrow
yeah
you really think you're that good
yeah i'm the best there ever was
i i haven't seen you practice
i mean you see me miss a lot of stuff
no i seen you sitting on the couch
texting your friends and all that i never seen you
playing with your bow and arrows i keep telling you
dad we are role playing we are role playing dad
forget about that i am ari strongbow
the stone seems way too small for you to try to hit it
but it's hanging from a rope or something
you think the rope's gonna be bigger than what's what it's holding no but i bet i can hit it
all right okay
so what do i got to roll for that roll a d20
just a d20 wait what about isn't there like a skill i could do like a bow skill
no
really all right seems like d20 d20
boom five oh no you managed to clip a butt cheek with an arrow
like at the ground and i was aiming up yeah oh boy all right well well minus one more arrow
minus one more arrow i told you should have been practicing
shut up jerry
uh
smack my stomach it made me burn
um all right good maybe i should just
make a column here for arrows
or was i keeping track in the game i don't remember
inventory
that's not in here
okay um so is there like a butthole
no just just the cheeks
all right
and in this room it's round and there's one door
there's there are two doors the one including the one you came in okay all right the picture
makes it look like there's four but yeah you have the green box okay yeah the green boxes for
doors are the butt is the butt bigger than us yes you would have to climb you have to climb up the butt
if you want to reach the
i start climbing the butt all right
don't climb don't climb the butt
make an acrobatics check
jerry
making it
learning
all right why you gotta climb the butt
how do i do that in this game so
it's under skills
yeah it's under skills then then i i have that pulled up
then go down to deck
no it's uh
it's under checks dexterity
checks
so just throw a dexterity check yeah
and then normal
the only other options are advantage and disadvantage so oh yeah it's normal
oh you
try to climb up this
baby smooth surface
to see what the shiny thing is but you
you slip and fall back down
what color is it rock colored
yeah it's like marble
oh
and it looks does it look fancy or does it look like
old and shit
no it's it looks like a
pretty fancy
okay
but
all right
um
it's more of a derriere
is it something that we could like try and perceive more about or
know anything about like
keep trying to climb it because i'm down for that too
but deities or something
um
hey i got it
you can do a wisdom or an intelligence check
if you want
would an arcana check be appropriate
you can try to do it but
there seems to be no magical aura around these
okay
this big marble smooth butt
all right i'm gonna slap on it
flirt flirtily
okay
do i slap on it
uh do us a charisma check
all right
hold on
oh
please don't tell me you're gonna use that hand to smack the butt
smack the butt
come on baby slap the butt
nine
all right
i just missed it
it's just
whiffed at it
no you barely touched it and
so it didn't make like a really cool sound
no no there's just some kind of like weird giggle that you heard
and the room shakes just a little bit
that's not good
anybody else feel that
and that that shiny thing from the ceiling falls down
into the butthole
no not into the butthole just up the crack away from you and onto the other side
i
looking around
like shiftily
and i slap it again
yeah
yeah i'd run another
dyssterity check
no it farts
it flirts
it farts
oh
oh boy
you slap it
and it's going
to
where's that ruby
maybe we can mask this smell
oh no i'm keeping that by me let me tell you that's going to come in handy like right now
can i get can we get to the other side of the butt
yeah yeah you can walk around the butt
i'm gonna walk around and see this i forgot what it was it's a gem or something shiny
it's a shiny piece of shiny
okay
um i would like to inspect it like is it big enough to like pick up and look at
yeah yeah big enough to to pick up okay
is it a sword
no i think so you read it and it says say goodbye to your butt
make a dc uh make a dexterity saving turn
hurry
not my butt it's my second best
oh you got a 19 or 22
do i get an extra butt
uh no it only steals half of your ass
no
but i'm so good
but since you did so good
i'm gonna let you pick which cheek
oh i want it to be melissa
which is
uh my left butt cheek
i'm gonna make a note of that
wait which one was it
so i lost
um i i lost my left butt cheek
left
okay butt cheek
minus left
butt cheek
yes
whose name was Alyssa
oh i thought you said Melissa
no Melissa is the one i wanted to keep
Alyssa is the one i gave up
oh okay
all right
on the bright side it doesn't really inflict any damage or pain
it just
you just don't have a left cheek anymore
your left leg still attached to the body but very
fucking weird
so i'm half i'm half Beyonce and half Hank Hill
yeah
i'll tell you what
uh
let's get out of here before i lose my other butt cheek
so that was that what was the point of this
just a fart
well and i lost my butt cheek
and you lost a butt cheek
what kind of room is this
it's a smelly one
this room's a real asshole
oh boy
dad
i'm sorry i'm sorry i know your father has to be the butt of all jokes
and i make it look like i'm really embarrassed
let me tell you let me tell you
let me tell you
both both
in character and out that felt good
all right
do you go out the door
yeah in character and out of character i hate you
yeah we're gonna well i mean i'm gonna start moseying slowly and bewilderedly into the other door
the door that we did not come in
are you kind of walking funny because you're missing half your ass
i'm very confused and
i mean yeah i'm just walking slow
and i'm sorry i'm bewildered
oh man i forgot what it was confused bewildered
all right so
you exit the room and you find yourself at another junction
to either go left or right
so it's like a small like a small room
yeah well it's like a t hallway
okay so you come in at the top left of the t so you can either go straight or
i don't i don't know i feel like the last decision i made was to slap that butt and it
brought us nothing but pain
what does that have to do with
i'm talking to care
okay maybe you should decide left or right
go you go in and you got another butt cheek to lose i still got both mine i mean i'm just saying
or i mean i'm the more complete person here
all right and then i scoff at gear i go left
no help again
i'm rushing it behind kind of slowly but you know
clutching your ruby
well no you know my rubies are my pocket you know
i smell like strawberry pie i mean how wizard how much more of a wizard can you want you know
i could think of uh a couple other wizards that were more helpful than you
yeah but yeah but you ever smell merlin he smelled like a swamp
yeah that's probably true
yeah minecraft
my crap all right oh boy that a wizard yeah it's an evil wizard that's christopher lee and he's gonna
fuck us up
all right you enter this room a long wide room looms before
mysterious runes and patterns cover the room's walls and floors visible at the end of this long room is some sort of evil mage
oh man he's so
oh man he's so fucking evil looking
he's evil looking
anyone can be under the lens of subjective moral parameters and constantly ethical
he looks real tough and he blocks the way to the next room
figure it out just wait until he starts talking figure it out figure dude figure it
hey here
slash max skyblade why don't you go lie to that guy
tell him we're tell him we're important why don't you shoot him with an arrow first
no i felt like we've we've been leading with the arrows and it's gotten us nothing but goblins
you think he'll listen to me no but he's not gonna listen to me i look like a damn fool i only got half a butt
oh you got a point there i am evil mage yells over your bickering and says i cannot be hurt
no one can pass through this hall
it is impossible
pardon
you're way down there
me
look how loud i have to yell
i think he wants us to feed him
i got nothing for him
i'm not got it got a whole helping of uh
again what do i got what's my magic attack here
ray of frost frost hand
all right i walk up and i say excuse me as soon as you walk up the door behind you locks
oh i summer i told you to hold the door i was not paying attention
i thought we had an open door policy in this house and i think a lot of things dad
i do mean to enforce it when we're out of it
all right all right all right so embarrassing me sir i think there's been a misunderstanding
um what are we doing you shall not pass
okay i i get it you have to say that i mean hey i got my own little quarter staff here see you can't
pass me either it's a wizard right away but why don't you just let us pass this one time
you cannot pass
what can i do no one has gotten past me i well what would it take to get past you
defeat me
yeah well we don't we don't want to defeat you we just just let us
let us have to nah i think we can work something out i'm so fucking awesome yeah i know we see that
you're great i am i am not going to let you pass unless if you kill me
i shoot him in the face with ray of frost i feel like there's a better way
i don't think there is i mean he just stands there takes the ray of frost in the in the face
and he just goes ha no magic can harm me
oh boy that's that makes you very useless doesn't it care yeah arrows now i told you arrows i start
running running where you start clawing at the door
and it's not opening summer hit him with your fucking arrow
i'm gonna i'm gonna step to him
step to him yeah what does that even mean threateningly oh that's a little different
i cannot be intimidated nor hurt by magic
hmm you and your one ass cheek what kind of power do you have
oh you'll see what kind of power i have and you smell like bat or sturges
shit i do i earn that one ass cheek and smell like shit it uh it's not just clean it it doesn't
make sense you're you're right shitty is going to be a lot less fun from now on but i'll have to make do
now let us go on our way no i look around and i look around at the runes is there anything to be
learn from the runes
give me a perception check
uh that will be skills
yeah it should be under check
no there's two there's two there's skills
and then when i so i can click perception skill
and then ability modifier would be would be what yeah i think it's automatically added in there
well there's there's options like the first the default is wisdom
here
i'm just going by what it says on on foundry oh yeah as wisdom okay
but i guess you could do a perception intelligence check it's kind of strange i don't know what that
means
all right so i'm going to do a wisdom a perception wisdom check is that what you want yes
oh boy
that's a critical
you perceive nothing oh wow how long you've been sitting on that one oh such sweet vindication
uh
here but you feel like you're on the right path right path
i feel like that's a clue do you know anything about runes
me yes you you're the only one else here i'm not talking to that mage he's being a real dick
no no insults can harm me no i bet your name i bet your name is one cheek but girls
who smell like shit you look like a curtis to me he does look like a curtis
no insults can harm me i don't know have you been called curtis much today
because you really act the same way as work
you're acting like a real curtis have you ever known someone named curtis because let me tell you
none of them are good and you look curtis i do need to i mean i think it harms our argument but
bill curtis is pretty cool
who the hell is bill curtis i'm character i'm bill curtis and this is the news
well there's only one then i don't i i mean i guess i know something let's look at this uh let's
look at these runes here what do they look like can i uh run a perception check yeah do a perception
check
perception i'll give you advantage since you're a wizard that i don't know i assume wizards read
how do i how do i do the check uh perception check is it just well the way i did it was is under
skills yeah and then isn't perception under there yeah and then you just hit it like normal no go to
advantage because i'll give you advantage on it where's it it's right next it's on the yeah it's left
uh yes you get to roll two dice and take the highest all right so you got a 17
oh you have good perception oh you're the same as me
you you don't all right so the patterns on the left wall make up huge runes representing the letters r
and a
the right wall contains an equally huge and equally hidden u and n
on the floor you see runes for y and g
oh i know what it is we need a ray gun
his weakness is ray guns all right out of nowhere a fancy futuristic ray gun
begins to appear hovering in the air in front of some some
all right i grabbed the right what is it like a rifle
no it's like um one of the uh the needlers
oh like uh like that ray gun from the simpsons zap
no from halo oh okay well fine i take it i grab it is it real yes okay
uh
i point at him what do you think of this what do you think of this curtis
i cannot be hurt by weapons yeah or magic uh-huh or being or insults right or one but one but
she's got a
she's got a ray gun that's it
you're about to get curtailed
yes
all right well
shoot that cannot hurt me
the ray gun
it will not hurt me
shoot i am invincible
shoot him
for god's sake shoot him
well i look really confused well i take a moment because
the last time i went wild and free i lost a butt cheek but i see no way past this the runes are
indisputable i'm gonna shoot
all right
so luckily
uh-huh
the bolt from this ray gun goes straight left
uh
it tricked you
that's lucky
and then it bounces around the walls and hits the mage right in his shoulder
the evil mage drops holding his shoulder in agony he screams
person this
fucking demon weapon
he's never seen it before he calls you a piece of
shit
oh
things
you damn one butt cheek
shit smelling whore
excuse me
and i i
why would you bring a ray gun
to a magic fight it doesn't make sense
i step i step
so is he
oh man i was gonna really give it to him
but can i still can i still clomp up there
like really indignant
yeah fine all right but
he's still laying on the floor clutch
okay i mean he could still disappear i just i just want to clomp up there because i'm really
pissed off that he called me a whore
all right
so he's laying on the floor still screaming obscenities
i
excuse me it is 2022 i'm an independent woman nobody calls me a whore except brad
and that's because i asked him to and i mean then brad is a whore too
oh and then i shoot
oh no it as soon as you shot the ray gun disappeared
oh no
yeah you are now defenseless
against this mage
but my emotions have gotten the better of me as a woman and
i'm still standing over him and i've drawn my bow and like pointed at him all right he reaches up with his one good arm
oh boy and smacks right where your left butt cheek is missing and then disappears and dies
oh
it's right on the bone
that was a weird final fact
i mean
talk about your last will and testament
oh
that hurts so much
looks like he got the last laugh i guess then
yeah well he's dead so last lap
could you really call it a slap it's like hitting somebody's
shin
i mean
it's not as satisfying
no it wasn't that's the point
dead dead
all right
all right so now you have the door you came in
and the door in front of you
oh i'm going to the door in front of us i'm scampering get out of my way
all right awfully brave now are you
i mean i was pretty brave before remember when i iced that guy in the face
i didn't know he was going to be immune
no he took that like
can we take a break here
yeah
i got a refreshing my drink
hey does this look familiar andy
yeah it looks like bullet
yeah it was it was
oh is that from
yeah oh okay
yeah we didn't drink that much
i'm drinking benchmark tonight
oh it's only eight high
i know it was number eight that
no it's like they distributed the 10 over eight so it's more
what you heard me
what don't make fun of me
Thank you.
Oh, shit.
Are you guys back?
Is there a reason I can't hear anything?
Did I go deaf?
Yes.
Hello?
What?
Okay, good.
Oh, okay.
Good.
I thought I went blind for a second.
You didn't.
Good.
That's a Mr. Meeseek's box.
Look at me.
Can do.
No.
Fuck.
Don't ever make that noise again.
I hope I don't have to.
As you enter this room,
an innocuous-looking teal cube sits on a pedestal in the middle of the room.
Atop the cube is an inviting button engraved on the back of the pedestal sentence none of you can read,
no matter how hard you try.
All right.
I go and try to read it.
You can't.
But what if he tries really hard?
Can I run a check?
Yeah.
Give me a wisdom check.
All right.
You still can't read it,
and you take one damage because your brain hurts now.
Fine.
That's not how this game works.
I don't care.
All right.
What is it?
Oh, you should have four.
Why didn't it change?
Oh, you should have 14 hit points, right?
Yeah, so now I'm down with 13.
I don't know why it didn't save.
Mine's fine.
I can't open Jerry's sheet.
Okay.
So what do you do?
Uh, oh.
I hit the button.
Oh, boy.
All right.
Hi, Mr. Meeseeks.
Look at me.
Ah!
You're not doing the voice.
I'm trying to remember the voice.
Hi, Mr. Meeseeks.
Look at me.
I can't do!
Yeah, that voice.
Yeah.
Horrible voice.
Horrifying.
Do it again.
Well, I can't.
Andy's got to do the voice.
He needs to learn and grow as a GM.
He needs to learn how to grow.
Hmm.
I can't do the voice.
Yes, you can.
Apply yourself.
Hi, Mr. Meeseeks.
Look at me.
That's it.
What do you do with the Meeseeks?
Oh, uh, what are you?
I'm Mr. Meeseeks.
Look at me.
I, are we, I mean, I mean, this is kind of meta, but we're playing, we're playing Dungeons and Dragons as the characters from Rick and Morty, right?
So, do we have knowledge of what a Meeseeks is?
Yes.
Okay.
Uh, well, we should tell it to do something.
Quit rolling around and take this seriously.
I'm trying to get my screen in order.
That's what I'm trying to do.
I'm zoomed into this one corner of the map, but I can't figure out how to get it right.
Oh, you know what?
Remember, you had to change that setting to put it in trackpad mode before, remember?
Thought I did.
I know you did on the Star Wars one.
I don't know if it carried over.
I have no idea.
On the gear, there's settings.
Well, yeah, configure settings.
And where was it at?
I think maybe it was in...
Yeah, great.
Thanks.
I didn't know you could hear me.
Where is it at?
Maybe it's not in here.
Maybe that was a plug-in that I didn't enable on here.
Well, I fixed it anyway.
And it just cost me to roll.
Did you win?
Yeah.
Okay, good.
All right, well, we should ask this MeeSix to do something for us.
Like what?
I don't know, but I'm starting the dialogue.
What are we doing in here again?
Looking for something?
I think we're just here for the booty.
Pun intended.
Yeah.
Half the half a booty?
No, I mean, I think that's generally why we're here in this dungeon.
So, Mr. MeeSix, can we ask him why he's in this dungeon?
Mr. MeeSix, why are you in this dungeon?
That's not what Mr. MeeSix does.
He completes a simple action.
Okay.
Mr. MeeSix, find out why you're in this dungeon.
I'm just kidding.
Oh, boy, I'll try.
And then, what, he just stands there and looks at us?
Ponderingly, yes.
Well, you got any ideas?
What are you waiting for?
Oh, so I wasn't sure if, like, he only does, like, the first thing you ask him to do.
Yeah, they have one purpose.
Whatever you tell them to do.
So, can we change our mind, or is he already locked in?
He's locked in.
All right.
So, what are you waiting for, MeeSix?
Get out of here.
Go find out why you're here.
And he sits there thinking for another five seconds.
And he goes, oh, boy, I don't know.
And he starts to go slowly insane.
Oh, boy.
I hit the button again.
And because...
Mr. MeeSix, look at me!
That one's broken.
We don't need him anymore.
Kill him.
What?
No, I would kill that other, the one that's about to go insane.
We don't need an insane MeeSix here.
All right.
He tries to do it, but the insane MeeSix kills him.
So, now we're stuck with the insane MeeSix?
Yep.
And all of a sudden, he launches at Cure.
Wait, what?
Why?
No, I hit the button.
Mr. MeeSix, look at me!
Defend us.
All right.
So, now we have a MeeSix on our sides?
Yes.
Hit it again!
Hit it, like, 12 times.
We're going to have an army of MeeSix, and we're going to take the castle.
Yeah, this seems OP.
I'm trying to figure out how to do the encounter again.
You can right-click on us,
and click, I forgot what it is.
Oh, yeah, the sword and shield, that adds us to the encounter.
Oh, okay.
Oh, I did not make a MeeSix one.
Oh, it's not going to be in your compendium.
No.
I mean, we could just roll, you could just put a blank,
a blank character there, and we could just roll it manually.
How can I do the blank character?
If you go, there should be like a plus sign if you go under the character menu.
Sign?
Yeah, for adding, or maybe there's a create button or something.
Yeah, I think I found it.
Then I have to...
I didn't think you guys would do this.
I don't know why I didn't, but I didn't.
Well, I didn't think we would fight the...
I didn't think he would go insane.
I thought it was...
I mean, I thought it was...
You gave him an impossible goal.
It was a silly question.
Right.
We didn't think it would be a problem.
We've seen the episode.
He didn't go insane.
Well, they did go insane.
Yeah, because Jerry couldn't...
Couldn't bring down his golf game by two strokes.
Right.
Sounds dirty.
Have you ever tried to relax?
It's an impossibility.
That's pretty good.
Yeah, but there's a good me-seeks and a bad me-seeks.
Also, simple task.
Didn't...
Oh, blessed.
Didn't one of them...
Didn't Summer ask him to make her a more complete...
complete woman?
Oh, no.
That was Beth.
What does that even mean?
I don't know, but...
Oh, no.
And it's radioactive?
Well, no.
I'm just using that for good advice.
Oh.
That works.
And it's radioactive?
I'm radioactive!
I'm radioactive.
I'm sorry.
Imagine Dragons.
Imagine that.
Good one.
Shut up.
Oh, I don't like that.
Roll your...
Oh.
Oh, that's bad.
If you go to the encounter tab, you should have a little dice next to your name to roll initiative.
Did you find it?
Oh, yeah.
There you are.
Oh, nice roll.
Nice roll.
I'm still last.
So, Kira's first.
All right.
I'm gonna hit him with a magic missile.
Right on, Kate.
Coming out swinging.
Don't you only get three spells?
I get like six.
Okay.
Like, who am I to say?
I don't know.
Who am I to say?
Oh, bitch.
What is your magic missile?
That should be in here, too, though, in the compendium.
Spells.
Spells, bells, bells, bells.
Three glowing darts of magical force.
All right.
So, roll three d4s.
So, how do I do that, Andy?
So, slash r space 3d4.
All one word.
All right.
Oh, is that the average?
No, that's the total.
Oh, okay.
I think if you click on it, it expands and tells you what the dice were.
So, it's a four, a three, and a three.
Oh, okay.
All right.
The meat seeks dies.
All right.
That was easy.
Can we keep the other one?
Nope.
He did his job.
He disappears.
No, I...
It's arguable.
He defended you against the other meat seeks.
I hit the button.
Hi, Mr. Meat Seeks.
Look at me.
All right.
Now we're going.
Nobody give him an order.
Mr. Meat Seeks, you are to defend us and work with us and follow our every order.
And whim.
All right.
I hope he doesn't go insane.
Does it go insane?
I said, I hope he doesn't.
I mean, if this, if a meat seeks can't even take a simple bodyguard job, I mean, what's the point anyway?
Yeah.
Why even have a meat seeks?
Can I care?
Can...
Yeah.
All right.
Can I try reading the inscription?
You cannot read it.
But what if I try really hard?
Roll a wisdom check.
You still can't read it.
You, your, your brain hurts.
Oh.
So you lose one health.
Why did I forget about that lesson you tried to teach?
Boo.
My note just says minus one reading.
All right.
Uh, I guess we keep going.
That's all you're going to do?
Yeah, I guess.
Is there...
Where's our meat seeks?
I mean, should we just keep, keep getting meat seeks to do things for us?
Yeah, I, I, I, why don't we hit it like five times?
We only have five meat seekss.
Okay.
I didn't really have all of them.
But you do it this time.
Because I've got this one.
I hit the button.
Hi, Mr. Meeseeks.
Look at me.
All right.
Join our defense coterie.
You got it.
That's not what he says.
He says can do.
Oh, yeah.
Can do.
All right.
I'll hit the button again.
Uh, and we would like to...
Oh, Mr. Meeseeks.
Look at me.
Uh, and two more times.
Oh, Mr. Meeseeks.
Look at me.
Oh, Mr. Meeseeks.
All right.
You shall defend us.
Oh, boy.
You got it.
All right.
We got a little, we got a little, we got a little, now we got ourselves an actual fucking,
uh, this is what I'm talking about.
We got ourselves an actual team now.
Yeah.
No, I can already tell this is going to be great.
This is going to be great.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Uh, now we're going to, now Meeseeks, we're going to do an Operation Meeseeks shield.
Get in front of us and walk through that door.
You've already given them their orders.
Which is to defend us.
To defend you.
There's no certain why or how, but.
Um.
Yeah.
All right.
Andy, I would suggest you copy all the tokens.
Just, just highlight everything in Command C to paste it into the next room.
I'm assuming you have no tokens in the next room.
Oh, there's two doors.
There are two doors.
Or three, including the one we came in.
Yeah.
Um.
All right.
Well, Jerry, I already walked through the one right in front, which is fine.
All right.
We'll be fine.
So that one's not, it's, it's a door, but you, you go up to it and you knock.
Oh, it's not open.
Yeah.
Or, or you go up to it.
You don't knock.
But.
And it says, here's another door for you.
This one's made of an indestructible magic metal.
I don't know.
Because I can.
I feel like you keep saying indestructible and undefeatable.
And we've defeated some of those people already.
Anyone.
Anyway.
It has one of those sliding people things, which is closed.
Oh.
Uh.
Knock on it.
I kick it.
Nothing.
I hurt my foot.
All right.
Um.
I knock on it.
I go across the room to the other door.
Listen here.
That's when we came in, I think, isn't it?
Yeah.
That's the one you came in.
That does track.
I would get confused.
All right.
Go to this one.
That one's locked.
So that was all in character.
Oh my God.
We're trapped.
Wait.
Is there a little sliding door?
No.
All right.
I pushed the button.
There's no button.
Wait.
The Meeseeks button.
Yeah.
Hi, Mr. Meeseeks.
Look at me.
Open this door.
The Meeseeks walks over and slides open the peephole slide door and disappears.
What?
Yeah.
He's going to go open it for us.
He'll be back.
You'll see.
All right.
Well, now what?
Well, we're waiting for the Meeseeks.
Waiting for what?
He disappeared.
Him to open the door.
No, he opened the door on the door and he disappeared.
Can't we do that?
Yeah, you could have, but you didn't.
You used the Meeseeks on it.
You brought a creature into existence to slide open this little door, which you very easily
could have done.
Oh, well, let's do that now.
Yeah.
I mean, what do you mean do that now?
It's already open.
Oh, so we can walk through it.
All right.
It's a people.
It's like a, it's like on a jail or, you know, like on those prohibition eras.
Yeah.
You know, you knock on the door and someone slides open the little peephole to talk to.
Say what you want.
It's one of those.
The Meeseeks can fit through it?
No.
He opened it and disappeared.
Oh, but no, we're talking about the, I'll push the button again.
I'm Mr. Meeseeks.
Look at me.
Mr. Meeseeks.
Yes.
We want you to.
Mr. Meeseeks, look at me.
We want you to open this door and not the sliding door.
I'm talking about the entire door so we can get through it.
That door's already open, idiot.
So Mr. Meeseeks, the sliding people.
Yeah, but that's not what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about the door so we can go through it.
Wait, is it already open?
We haven't tried opening it yet?
Mr. Meeseeks walks over and starts tugging on the door to no avail, but he keeps trying.
Okay.
All right.
Well, at least we got, we got our best men on it.
We got our best men on the job.
We'll wait out here in a couple hours, I'm sure.
So is there anything written on the door?
No, but through it, you can see a little flame skull on the other side.
On the.
Well, is he like just watching us or like he's like.
All you can see through the people is a skeletal mouth chattering away in a froggy voice.
It says, I'm sorry.
I'm just so nervous.
I'm loaded.
I hope y'all aren't hurt or scared or discomforted or.
Oh, Lord, it did.
Oh, no.
I was so startled.
Is he talking to us?
Yeah.
Through the people.
Okay.
The skeletal.
The skeletal thing backs off.
And you can see it's just a skull yapping away.
It's wreathed in flames and its eye sockets contains.
There's a fire.
The room beyond the people is covered with hundreds of metal spikes poking out from the
walls towards the center.
Some of the spikes on the floor have skulls mounted on them.
And a little skull says, I've been trapped in here forever.
It seems.
Isn't that right?
Could y'all help us?
Could we help you?
Yes.
I was just about to ask you the same thing.
Well, I'm the one trapped in a room.
I can't open the door.
I ain't got.
Uh.
Okay.
You want a Mr. Meeseeks?
What good would that do me?
I have no arms to press the button.
But I can push it for you.
Then you have a Mr. Meeseeks.
And he doesn't fit through the slot, does he?
He will not fit through the slot.
No.
We got a Mr. Meeseeks working on the door right now.
He should be in pretty soon.
It's any minute.
No.
Mr. Meeseeks keeps struggling.
And you can see the.
You can see the hair on his chin starting to grow.
Oh, no.
Because he's been here too long.
Oh, no.
He's.
I have no idea what we're supposed to do.
I hit the button.
Mr. Meeseeks, look at me.
Hey, Mr. Meeseeks.
What does that inscription say?
Hey.
Says, I'm Mr. Meeseeks.
Look at me.
And he disappears.
That's it?
That's it.
Mr. Meeseeks, look at me.
Oh, man.
Can we look around the room for.
So it's locked.
So we're looking at it.
Does it.
It has like a keyhole or something that makes it locked?
No, it's just.
No.
The one on the bottom of the room is locked.
Okay.
The one with the flames on the other side.
The door is just really heavy.
And he can't open it up because he doesn't have any.
Oh, but.
Oh, it's not.
Do we try opening the door?
No, you just walked up to it.
But the Meeseeks has been pulling on the door.
Mr. Meeseeks is weak.
All right.
Let's try opening the door.
Is it a push?
Here.
Try opening the door.
I walk up and I try pulling the door.
All right.
Give me an athletics check.
For a door.
I don't.
I think I can open up a door.
Maybe that's not what you're rolling for.
How do I do this again?
Athletics check.
So under normal and the normal.
Just normal.
Yes.
You got a seven.
The door does not budge.
Get out of here, old man.
Let me try it.
Can I can I roll for it?
Yes.
Athletics.
14.
All right.
The door starts to open.
All right.
So the door's open.
Mr. Meeseeks trying to open the door.
Disappears.
So it opened.
The door opened.
All right.
We're in.
That was a lot harder than it should have been.
All right.
So the door's open.
What do you do?
Uh.
Well, we see the skull.
Okay.
And we say.
That's so.
Hello.
Hi.
Thank you for opening the door.
You're welcome.
All right.
So.
What's up?
So.
The.
It is a bunch of spikes and skull.
Some skulls on this.
Oh, I love what you've done to the place.
So.
So the little flame skull.
Cast mage hand and picks up the skull.
Of Andy.
And starts walking out.
So there were.
There were two skeletons.
No.
Well.
One that's on fire.
And one that he just picked up.
From one of the spikes.
Okay.
So.
The skull passes the party.
And.
Sum.
Since you did it.
Give me a.
Uh.
Perception check with advantage.
Okay.
Oh.
This wig is itchy.
Maybe it's not a wig.
Maybe it's lice.
It's crabs.
All right.
So.
So you see that.
As the skull is.
Floating by you.
The.
There's a tiny glass vial.
That drops.
Empty eye socket.
Uh.
Both of you give me.
A acrobatics check.
Do we ever have to change.
The ability modifier.
I don't think so.
I think that's built in.
All right.
Who wrote that.
Oh no.
Sum.
You're.
You're able to catch this vial.
That's fallen down.
Whoop.
And.
You can tell that it was a potion of flying.
That he dropped out of his eye socket.
Well.
I'll save this for a rainy day.
All right.
And.
The flame skull starts to fly by.
To the door to the south.
And as it does so.
It burns up all these me seeps.
Wait a second.
We have so many questions for you.
And it just keeps going.
Oh boy.
And it runs into this door.
That's down on the bottom.
And it burns it.
So now it's unlocked.
Oh.
And he just keeps on trucking huh.
Yep.
He just keeps going.
And there's nothing in that.
That room is just basically spikes.
There's nothing.
There's no more.
Nothing of interest in there.
No.
Then what's the point.
Dad.
I pushed the button.
Hi Mr. Meeseeks.
Look at me.
Slap him please.
Who?
The.
Uh.
Here.
Is that.
Is that the weird looking guy?
Um.
Hey.
Well we have a strong resemblance.
So I'd appreciate you.
Not calling him.
Weird looking.
Is it the weak looking guy?
Yeah.
That one.
All right.
And then he slaps.
And.
Oh.
One damage.
Oh.
I didn't mean for that to happen.
That was supposed to be for comedy.
And Mr. Meeseeks disappears.
Cheers.
This professionals are just associated information about the
English-speaking individual once inplatz facility or
near the French Messiah, California for today's service.
I'm going to show you the best Kiki with this.