all right so we just got you guys just let the many doors rule right
yeah there's been a lot of rooms with many oh there were so many doors there were so
many several surprise doors that we didn't see coming yes and some we saw more than once
quite a few times yeah that reminds me i should go make a drink
hey you just finished yours my drink no this was pop oh yeah that's what they all say
that's asmr sure
i didn't put the doors the actual doors in this door room
well that's because there were 12 of them right or 20 of them yeah
i don't want you guys getting confused
were you successful upside down yeah i think i was
i don't remember i never remember the controls for this goddamn game
quit spinning i'm trying to spread myself out here and it won't let me do it
shift
hey quit moving me around oh that was not boo i thought that was boo that moved me around
okay i think i got something
who's that oh what was his name two butts that's right doesn't everybody have two butts
no especially you're missing half a butt yeah i know
i don't have much written down from last session other than cool crying
you did you did a lot of half of that those words i also wrote down cool crying
and i wrote down cherd cannon i don't know what that is
you guys are on a mission to destroy the butt trap that stole butts
well not uh i i would describe it differently
i would say we're trying to rescue my butt
i don't care if we have to destroy anything
if we can bribe him or just ask him nicely that'd be fine too
okay well the weapon that you have made in tommy two butts
that's right laboratory was the cherd cannon
oh and the cherd cannon is the destroyer of butt stones
yes
butt rocks
yeah
but marble butts yeah
all right so yeah i don't i uh yeah we were stuck on the uh
multiple dice
but no we right at the end i
we got out
you got out and then i ran out of rooms
so now you guys have the choice of either going up or left
i we already
i thought we already decided down
no i thought we came in from you
no that's the one you came in is is the down one
jerry you picked one and i was following you i believe is how it went
uh you did ask me to describe one of the rooms
if that's the one you want to go into
or not
all right let's go north
all right
i'm not sure we know which way we're oriented
i don't think we have a compass
you go to the upper door
oh there we go okay
yeah i don't have the game pause
how do i zoom out can you guys remember
i'm sure
i'm like you're saying i use the wheel
i don't have a wheel i have a
it should be a two finger scroll
that it just keeps me doing this
on character
oh that might be it
click
how do i unclick
click somewhere else
you might
you might have to change the setting
you
this is something we had to do that before
okay
he was right
all right cool
that's like now i can see
tommy two boats
there is tommy two boats
right next to you
and you guys are go
you guys decided to go to the upper door
which is
this one
oh that's a chair
that's put doors here too
that's a chair with legs
holy jesus
most chairs have legs
hachi machi
no those are human legs
that's the opposite of an armchair
i'm so happy that his claps don't come through
so man
oh i can go home now
yes please
he is home
all right
it stinks like old hamburger meat here
before you can come to appreciate the delicate
delicate bouquet
you see five zombies hunched over another rotten looking figure
in a plush chair
it looks like zombies are gesturing accusingly at the figure
which appears to be tied up
you miss a lot of the nuance of the zombies debate
though since they're just grunting and moaning
if you
if you wanted this room to be
weirder
you're in luck
because these zombies got no
butts
you have no butts
they have no butts
it's like you're half related to these guys
some
all right
uh instead of five i'm doing three
sorry
all right
so retcon
yeah three
all right
uh
they have no butts
ask them why they have no butts
greetings
where are thou butts
that's how you start a conversation
that's
i've never talked to a zombie
we are
normal
we're very insensitive
i i have never talked to a zombie before
i figured
i'm the first person to ever speak politely to them
uh
dad
holy
you're never not embarrassing
and all of a sudden the ghoul calls out
help
i know i'm a ghoul
and this could easily be my thing
but it's not
the zombies think i ate their butts
but i swear i didn't
help me
please
so we're helping a ghoul
yes
yeah
all right
i say we help them
uh
we're help
helping the ghoul
yeah why not
all right
uh
the zombies were talking to us
no the ghoul was
did the zombies talk to us
the zombies got very
um
upset when the first question
they were at
or
first thing that you guys said
said was to ask about their missing butts
well
my question
mainly is
do they speak
words
yes
okay
listen
i
probably
don't
you don't want to eat that guy
ghouls don't taste good
no we don't want to eat him
we want him to give our butt
give him
we want him to give us our butts back
he doesn't know anything about that
what's a ghoul no
i
let's just say i know
where
happens to buzz
and what happens to them
and
i
turn around
and i point
at
my butt
look at this
i'm one of you
okay
but
that doesn't
explain what happened to it
well
it wasn't eaten by
he also
ate half of your butt
we don't know that
i'm telling you
he didn't eat my butt
i don't know that
well i'm telling you
it's been taken
why should i trust you
his half cheek
is at a party right now
is it
i think that's where i remember
it was like a hellhole party
kind of
wasn't it
i might be
misremembering
uh
let's see
i don't
left butt cheek
alissa
i have written down
uh
because we saw it one day
we saw it
it was in the mirror
the broken mirror
yeah
oh
and what
it was just hanging out
it was like a party
but the uh
your butt was like
being left out
oh so it wasn't even
being cool
no yeah
it's it's hell
for your butt
oh boy
so anyway
i know where my butt went
and it didn't get eaten
by this cool
it was eaten by some
fucking rock
i think it's a churd
what is a churd
i don't know
but i'm gonna kill it
we got some churd gun
we're gonna fucking kill this thing
and get my butt back
a churd gun
churd gun
yeah
doesn't shoot churds
it kills churds
what is a churd
churd
i don't know
but it's a rock
that ate my butt
and it's gotta pay
you know
you're lucky
we're not the zombies
that like to eat brains
because otherwise
we would have passed you up
a long time ago
that's
wow
zing of the day
zing
well great
i guess
um
ghoul
why should we save you
because i'm innocent
i didn't take anybody's butt
but
i
not sure i need to get involved
anymore
i'd like to help the ghoul
why do you want to help the ghoul
because he sounds like a
a ghoul guy
yes he is a ghoul guy
i don't know
don't you think he's kind of cool
a cool
i don't know
i got a good
i got a good feeling about him
i like the cut of his jib
all right
tommy two bucks steps up
oh boy
and he goes
all right listen zombies
i am the scientist of this dungeon
don't listen to him
shut up
i'm trying to help you
we got this one though
i told him
my butt was eaten
shut
all right
so
we have invented
a
as my
young
very young
half butt
butted
a companion
that said
we have invented
the chert cannon
which will
destroy
the trap
that ate your butts
and it will return them to you
yeah the butt rock
i said that
she did say that
yes
maybe your glasses will be more
more convincing
what
i said maybe because you're wearing glasses
they'll believe you
oh
i believe them already
so
if you let us pass
without harming us
then
we'll return
to prove that
you know
we did what we said
we were gonna do
and if you don't
i'll fucking blast you
with these arrows
you always have to be so violent
i'm so mad
this is a game
about
creativity
and you're getting so violent
we're not in gta
some
i am
kind of a drama bomb
and
my butt is missing
so
i do not have time
to be
messing around
with
zombies and ghouls
no time at all
so keep moving
and get out of the way
you can at least
ask the zombies
say
you can at least
ask nicely
i tried that already
and they said
i didn't have
no brain
you did not
i said
i
that the ghoul
didn't eat your butts
that whatever
ate your butt
ate my butt
and so
let's get them
and then they said
if you
you have no brains
basically what they said
it hurt my feelings
that wasn't asking politely
got you there
oh gosh
i tried being polite
but apparently
butt talk
is not
acceptable
to
zombies
i'm sorry
i didn't know
these zombies
were adhering
to mismanners
they are
okay
well
i mean
jerry did ask
where thou is your butt
insists
and they didn't
seem to like that
either
no
are you gonna ask
to pass or not
i can't pass
because i only have
half a butt
gas
pass gas
i say we ask
to pass
are we help
are we gonna help
him out with the
zombies
we have to fight
the zombies
depends
but
i yes
we i i think
we have
let us let us
you know please
let us go i guess
right finally
you said something
nice
i'm gonna play this
tape bag i'm gonna
show you how nice
i was at the
beginning
so nice
jerry was so nice
even you said
thou
i don't know why
he thought we
were old english
but
he didn't
there's that
all right
so you just
you go you go
through the door
on the north
or on the
upper opposite
side of the room
so what's gonna
happen to the
ghoul as we
walk by
so we just
awkwardly walk
by and
like leave
him what are
the zombies
gonna do to
the ghoul
oh if you
don't return
in a day
then they're
gonna eat
him
okay so they
they seem to
have taken the
deal that
four eyes
was putting
down
yeah tommy
four eyes
two butts
yeah
four eyes
two butts
can't lose
all right
well see you
later jerry
bye jerry
all right
uh this
next room
is going
to seem
very um
cool
bigger than
it it should
be but
that's fine
oh uh we
don't have
vision
oh good you
probably don't
want to see
this one
anyway
oh is it
graphic
going on
graphic
oh this
is uh a
lady
she's taking
notes
and she's
quite large
yes i
told you
how do i
get the
scale is
very very
off is
she's supposed
to be that
large
no the room
is supposed
to be pretty
big though
oh you put
it as the
foreground instead
of the background
by accident
oh doesn't
really matter
that sucks
yeah that's
that's not
going to
matter
so everything
in this odd
shaped room
is white
the walls
the floors
the ceiling
everything
that is except
the four doors
and a stressed
looking lady
seated at a
cheap desk
writing furiously
on parchment
and she's got
an inkwell
and a quill
pen
second after
the doors open
the room
elongates
until it's
a hundred
feet long
and the lady
is on the
opposite side
of the room
so she's
just like
way in
the distance
yeah
and what's
she doing
again
she's scribbling
on a piece
of paper
oh
a woman
of note
so the
room stretched
as we were
standing there
the room
stretched as
soon as the
door closed
yeah
oh my
that's a
long walk
all right
I start
walking
because I'm
a man
all right
and she
looks up
from her
desk
and says
don't walk
any further
and she's
is it
does the
room keep
getting bigger
no it stays
a hundred
feet
oh
okay
how art
thou
I'm under
a ton of
pressure to
finish right
in this part
of the dungeon
writing this
part
so if you
if you can
leave me
alone
that would
be great
of what
dungeon
this dungeon
the one
we're in
yes
what do you
mean write
it
she writes
down on
her piece
of paper
all of a
sudden a
phantom hand
comes up
and slaps
you in the
back of
the head
ah
my weakness
invisible
hands
what was
that
I wanted
him to
shut up
so I
wrote that
he got
slapped
her
are you
I wanted
her to
shut up
so I
wrote that
she got
slapped
in the
back of
that
who
are you
I'm the
writer
of the
story
of the
dungeon
oh my
god
can you
I'm very
stressed out
why are you
stressed out
because I
have to
finish this
before the
adventurers
get here
where the
adventurers
don't
shh
can we
help
what
you
shh
we were
just
saying
can we
help
you
do
whatever
it is
you need
to do
before the
adventurers
get here
and I know
she doesn't know
I mean he
might like
us
she's gonna
lose her
shit
maybe she'll
help us
maybe she'll
you know
give us
your butt
she dips
her quilt
back in the
ink and
says man
I hope
this ink
does not
run out
before she
starts writing
again
can
so
okay
we could
try to
keep the
adventurers
from coming
here
give me a
persuasion
charisma
check
oh
I have
minus
charisma
don't I
oh no
that was
for smelling
bad and I
took a
shower
no
well that
was just
disadvantage
yeah
you took
a hobo
bath
yeah
hobo
bath
wait
do you
think
charisma
makes sense
because I
am lying
no you're
trying to
persuade her
to
to stop
writing
basically
okay
nine
now
and then she
just goes
right back
to writing
okay
um
but it
did look
like she
thought about
it for a
second
thought about
letting us
help her
keep the
adventurers
away
or just
just
stop
writing
in general
you
you try
something
dad
she's not
listening
to me
greetings
you
try that
already
try something
different
well
thou
let us
pass
what are we
trying to get
no
I have to
write this
we
are
the editors
and we
have come
to see
what you're
writing
and seeing
if it's
any good
for our
publication
all right
give me a
charisma check
oh I hope
my charisma is as
good as max
I hope
you can read
where's charisma
okay
you don't have
any negative
charisma
just normal
I don't have
any negative
either
yeah
help me
that's worse
no you're not
the editors
I know the
editors
you're not
them
maybe we're
the editor
you must be
the adventurers
that I've been
oh no
she's gonna
she's gonna be
in a panic
now
oh god damn
it
I thought that
lie would work
I mean
I'm pretty good
at looking for
capitals and
punctuation
you're pretty
good at saying
greetings
well you know
it's a good way
to start the
conversation
how do I roll
you want to put
us into
um combat
into the combat
check
I'm trying to
figure
if you right
click and hit
the little sword
and shield
it'll put us
in uh
let me zoom
in this picture
so damn
big
and did
um
is there a
character sheet
for the
woman
the writer
uh
I did not
make one
did I
there's not
one on
the
I
did not
I can do
it really
quick
or I mean
you have one
in front of
you you
you just
have to
roll initiative
manually I
guess
or do all
the rolling
manually
no I'll
just like
I can do
it
here
I blame
you
it's not
my fault
no
oh
okay
nine
that was
definitely not a
nine that was a
six
oh I get plus
three to initiative
that's why
do you like
how my dice
is a
has tiger
print on it
that's pretty
cool right
yeah
I need to
pay for
that
okay so
who is up
first
all right
um
okay
what do you
hit with this
person
oh geez
all right
you know
since I put
the picture in
the foreground
I'm gonna
move all your
characters to
the left
so we can
see how much
they advance
that make
sense
yeah
so we're
100 feet
yeah
I'm gonna
initiate
mage armor
can you put
the oh so
the writer is
still over
oh I see
what you're
doing
the writer's
at the top
yeah
all right
but I can
move her
over to
I can hit
her from
here just
so you
know
because I
have the
the bow
okay
no I was
I was
talking to
and I
think I
broke my
sword
no you
don't have
your bow
anymore
oh I
broke my
bow
you broke
your bow
not your
sword
can I
turn my
sword into
a bow
no
that was
mean
you deserved
it for some
reason
no I
didn't I
tried I
probably tried
to not do
it and you
were like
you're
trying to
hit a
crystal
orb with
a wooden
bow
several
times
but I
feel like
there was
a good
reason
oh I
do see
this
minus
long
bow
god
damn it
I meant
to say
long
sword
but I
said
long
bow
long
bow
all right
um I
put on
mage
armor
that's
the first
thing I
do with
my tag
and I
don't know
how to
do that
with this
magic
how do I
uh how do I
initiate this
attack or
whatever I
don't really
know I don't
think I've
never used an
armor yeah I
don't know
either uh give
me a second I
gotta grab the
hook really
quick okay
I'm assuming
mage armor
if you roll
then you
get more
armor
I just
I'm being
more fighting
the writer
of the book
I figure we
should be
pretty armored
I don't know
man I'm
still upset
about not
having my
long bow
you're
long
don
mage
mage armor
you touch a
willing creature
who isn't
wearing armor
and a
protective
magical force
surrounds it
until the
spell ends
the target
speed base
AC becomes
13 plus
its dexterity
modifier
got it yeah I'm
gonna be a
willing creature
but you're a
willing creature
I'm very
willing all
right so you
said dexterity
so you would be
at
so it's 13
plus its so
your armor class
would then go to
15 got it
yeah
spell ends
if the target
dons armor
or if you
dismiss the
smell the
spell as an
action
you said 13
15
it's 13
plus your
dexterity
modifier
just
all right
that's your
turn then
yeah
unless if you
want to move
forward
no I'm
very very
afraid of this
godlike lady
all right
tiger
samsung
your turn
I have a
question
I might have
an answer
so you made
us roll
initiative
is
is there
like is
would it be a
waste of an
action or
maneuver to
try to stop
the combat
or should I
just take the
combat as
it's happening
now
it's happening
okay
I'm gonna
start
you both had a
chance to
persuade her out
of this
and you both
failed so
okay
and she looks
she's mad
she looks just
as panicked as
before but now
she's writing even
faster
okay so when
in her like
the way she's
attacking is
her
like getting
ready to attack
it looks like
she's gonna
do it by
writing stuff
yeah
okay
um
boo I
what what
should I do
I my
inclination is
just to start
charging at this
woman because
the only thing I
can do is hit
her with a
sword but
also I feel
like that's
kind of stupid
but also what
else am I
gonna do
honestly there's
not much this
is the writer
of the story
she's the god
I don't think
we're gonna win
this fight no
matter what we
do
all right I
just I'm gonna
just start
sprinting towards
that end of the
room I but I
don't I don't
have my sword
out you know
like I'm not
it's not like a
rallying like I'm
gonna hit her as
soon as I get
down there but I
need to get
close to her
no I was under
booze roll
should have been
under
uh maybe
because you
had him
yeah
so
all right so
she starts
scribbling
furiously
how far did
I get up
there
uh what's
your movement
speed
30 feet
so you got
30 feet
so it's only
so that works
is 30 feet
per turn
yes
I can't
exert myself
to go further
or anything
like that
no
okay
I mean you
might be able
to in other
ones but I'm
not going to
okay
I mean because
you could in
in Star Wars
that's the only
reason why I
asked
I have no
idea
oh wait
I'm at second
level right
yeah
action surge
you can push
yourself beyond
your normal
limits for a
moment
on your turn
you can take
one additional
action on top
of your regular
action and a
possible bonus
action
once you use
this feature
you must finish
a short or long
rest before you
can do it again
um
I yeah I'll do
that this time
okay so
so I'm at 60
where the hell
did you go
no say
I'm assuming
I went back
behind the
screen maybe
by accident
no
how do I get
rid of that
all right I'm
just going to
get rid of the
the picture
I mean if
so when you
open up when
you configure the
room there should
be two lines
one one
yeah but just
copy and paste it
just go in there
and command a
and command
command c
and v
because it's
just a directory
you know what I
mean yeah
or okay
whichever
now it's a lot
smaller
where the hell
is it
we're up in the
top right corner
or I that's
where it was for
me anyway
can't see shit
I'm still
not on the
map so you
might have to
put me
I can't see
the map at
all
you might have
to recenter
it I don't
know how you
do that
did that do
it
no because I
took away the
picture I
still can't see
anything
yeah I
don't know
where it
all went
oh here
let me try
talking
no
oh
well because
you weren't
on the map
right
no
apparently
not
you could put
me in there a
second time but
you can't even
see where anybody
is
no
I don't
if you zoom
way out
maybe you
could see it
I mean I
can see it
all
no
no I've been
trying to scroll
out with the
wheel and
nothing
well we don't
particularly need
it
boo can you
see anything
no it's all
just gray
I mean I
can see
gray but I
can see
characters too
I can't even
see my
characters but
maybe because
you're way
zoomed out
or way
zoomed in
one or the
other you
can't see
the grid
no
you can try
refreshing
that's the
only other
thing you
can do
uh
okay
I just
refreshed and
now I can
see the
grid
okay
yeah
although
boo
disappeared
yeah I
don't know
what happened
I'm still
here
I
restarted
so I
was
zoomed out
hey
that's me
hey
that's me
I'm here
is this
other
oh okay
you deleted
it
that should
be a little
bit more
than halfway
yeah
okay
and
uh
was it
d12
all right
for the
next
two rounds
five foot
diameter
chunks of the
sealants fall
at regular
intervals
stop
pretty much
making the
room an
entire
giant game
of whack-a-mole
each round
of a random
character is
targeted by a
smashy bit
must succeed
on dc
dexterity
saving
oh I
probably
shouldn't
have
set
15
so now
that it
is the
tiger you're
not in the
initiative
anymore
oh probably
you must have
accidentally deleted
my character
can you
you might
can you just
set my
initiative
to
what it
was before
I don't
know
all right
well
because you
guys are
both
npcs
yeah
pcs
so
well that's
not how it
goes in
dnd but
we can just
do it
yeah
okay
so now
that it's
the writer's
turn
she decides
to
drop a
boulder
or a
part of
the
ceiling
on
you know
random
so
tiger you're
1 through
10
boo you're
11 through
20
all right
i can't
see it
and tiger
all right
so it hits
me
so i have
to do
so you have
to do a
dexterity
save and
throw
all right
extra it
nice
oh no
four i
thought it
was seven
all right
so what
happens to
me
do i get
special powers
no
that's
dumb
so you take
two damage
i think
oh
i think i
have written
here that
i was at
11
no it
says you
were at
13
okay
so i was
at 13
and you
said
minus
i already
gave it
to you
i'd like to
write it
down too
okay
minus two
sorry
all right
i guess i
should add
tommy two
butts into
that
whatever
yeah what's
he doing
he's gonna
run up
next
and
let me
see
something
wait it
still says
13 on
mine
yeah oh
you were at
15 i'm
sorry
you had
the long
rest
oh okay
what
because i
took off
two you
should be
at 13
should be
at 13
okay
yeah
let me see
something about
tell me two
butts really
quick
Thank you.
I wanted to do 30 feet, so he's not going to be up.
So Tommy Two Butts just runs up 30 feet and hunkers down.
Hunkers.
Boo.
Hunkers.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Here, it's your turn.
All right.
Can I hit her with a frost blast?
What's the range on you?
Give me one second.
So it's a ray of frost, right?
Yeah.
I don't know.
It says 30 feet under my feet.
60 feet.
Okay.
So you cannot reach.
I can't reach with that?
You cannot reach with it.
You're 100 feet away.
My God.
All right.
I run to the left and hide.
Try to hide anywhere.
Great.
There's nowhere to hide, but you can run to the left.
I run to the left.
All right.
Useful as always.
Shut up.
Sum sum?
I'm just going to continue to run.
To the left?
No.
Towards, you know, the enemy.
All right.
So you're about 10 feet away?
Yep.
All right.
I'm going to do a D6 this time.
That's for some other thing that we don't know about yet?
No, it's for the ceiling, but I forgot to include Tommy Two Butts in the last one.
Okay.
So Tigers 1 through 2.
Boos.
You could probably just roll a D4 or D3.
Try 1 D3.
No.
What?
I don't know.
No, you put the slash on the wrong side.
Oh.
Yeah.
All right.
Tiger, you were going to be second.
It hits me again.
No.
It was going to be Boo.
Tiger was 1-2.
Boo was 2-3.
Or 3-4.
So dexterity roll?
Yeah.
Give me a dexterity save and throw.
Just normal, right?
Yeah.
There's only one way to roll it.
18.
All right.
You successfully dodge out of the way.
Hooray!
And then with that...
All right.
Got another trap coming in.
Oh, no.
The writer throws a portal at the party.
Each creature in the room must succeed on a dexterity save and throw.
Or be teleported back to the room.
Or the beginning of the room.
All right.
So everybody give me a dexterity save and throw.
All right.
God damn it.
My rolls are terrible.
It's a dexterity, right?
So Boo rolled a dexterity ability.
Is that different?
I wouldn't think so.
Well, let me try rolling a dexterity ability.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I just saw the first dexterity.
I saw.
I didn't even know there was two.
Yeah.
There's dexterity save, dexterity check.
Well, that's my fault.
Let me see.
Mine's the same.
I don't know if they're all the same or not.
I assume it's the same.
Because your dexterity is going to be the same.
Right?
I have no idea.
I don't know if maybe for some reason you get.
Yeah, mine's the same.
It's the same.
It's the same on each one of my rolls.
All right.
It's the same.
I just looked at it.
Okay.
So.
Here and Tommy two butts stay the same.
Do.
Are you strong?
Oh, is teleported back to the beginning of the room?
Well, good thing.
Jerry saved all of his.
His progress so far.
Tommy two butts decides to run 30 more feet.
Is he even equipped with a weapon?
Yeah.
His butt?
The churred cannon.
Oh, he's got.
He doesn't have the churred cannon.
He's got.
Who does have the churred cannon?
What do you do?
Oh, my God.
Probably.
Jerry has it.
I have to carry everything.
Well, then give me the churred cannon.
Fine.
Take it.
I toss it to you.
All right.
I have the churred cannon.
All right.
To an athletic check.
Is there athletics?
No, it would be.
I don't.
You don't think it would be dexterity instead.
No, I think it would be athletics.
It would be athletics or is it strength?
Athletics.
For tiger to catch it, it would be athletics.
I don't think that's right.
What do you.
Why would it be dexterity?
It doesn't matter.
You got it.
Because it's a.
It's a.
It's a nat 20.
You catch it by the trigger before you slam it in your.
On your back like a really cool person.
Oh, nice.
Or where your bow used to be.
Bow.
Oh, my bow.
Okay.
Yeah.
So now it is cure's turn.
Okay.
Um.
I don't know what to do with this person.
Oh, I'm not any closer to her.
Right.
So.
Because you just ran.
Well, because you didn't move closer.
I didn't know.
She seems like she's massive.
I run.
Uh.
I run towards her.
All right.
Okay.
You can only go.
I think your movement's 30 feet.
Yeah.
So.
I think that's a pretty typical.
Movement speed.
No, I'd see it on.
Oh, yeah.
30 feet.
Yeah, I see it.
Okay.
So.
Ari is 100 feet away.
Cure is 60 feet.
No, 70 feet away.
And Tommy.
Two butts is 40 feet away.
Two butts.
So.
Go.
So Ari.
Strongbowed is your turn.
Well.
Uh.
What's the range of the churd cannon?
And now I will tell you this.
The churd cannon can only be fired once.
All right.
Uh.
Yeah, I'm not.
I don't.
My butt.
Uh.
So.
I guess I will run 30 feet again.
All right.
So now you're at 70 feet.
Yeah.
All right.
The writer's turn.
Oh.
It's the portal again.
Oh, great.
Everyone's got it.
It's a 30 saving throw.
From all of us?
Yep.
My God.
All right.
Cure is the only one that is transported back to the beginning of the run.
Who is?
Cure.
Okay.
Tommy.
Wait.
What did I even roll?
He rolled a 21.
Oh.
Nice.
Yeah.
So Tommy.
Two butts runs up 30 feet.
He is now 10 feet away.
And decides to.
Swing with his javelin.
Javelin.
Is that how you use a javelin?
Javelin to me sounds like a ranged weapon.
Yeah.
But you can also hit some.
It's like a spear.
All right.
But he probably could have used it earlier.
I guess.
Yeah.
Piece of shit.
All right.
He hits.
Oh.
Does he do damage?
Six damage.
Yes.
Six damage.
To who?
The writer.
Yes.
Six.
All right.
Thank you.
And now it is Ari's turn.
Sumter.
Oh.
I forgot my name.
I forgot my name and character.
Okay.
Um.
I will move 30 feet forward.
I won't see that coming.
It'll be at 40 feet then?
Yep.
Uh.
Cure.
Your turn.
I move 30 feet forward.
Oh.
Okay.
So you are at 70 feet.
70 feet.
All right.
Magic orbs appear.
Buzzing around the room and flashing psychedelic patterns.
People.
All right.
Everybody give me a wisdom saving throw.
I'm sure I have great wisdom.
The zombies did say you were brainless.
Wisdom.
What do they know?
Right.
Uh oh.
Ari Strongbow is the only one that did not pass.
Mm hmm.
So what?
They go insane?
No.
Do I get cool powers?
All right.
So you can't take reactions until the end of your next turn.
That's fine.
On your turn you cannot move.
Oh.
And it uses its action to make Amelia arrange it.
If you can't do it then.
You don't do anything.
I.
You cut out.
Use it a melee or what?
You can do melee or a range attack.
As long as someone or another creature is within range.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's within range.
So you got hit with the confusion, right?
Oh, great.
I'm confused.
I'm so confused.
All right.
So it is Tommy two butts turn.
Tommy two ducks.
He's going to have to bail us out.
Right.
I don't know why I did that.
Oh, he missed widely with his javelin.
His javelin.
Not so widely that he hurt himself, right?
No.
Okay.
That's good.
He grabbed onto one of his cheeks thinking he might have.
He might have pulled a glute.
It's very butt centric.
I mean, he does have two butts.
Oh, yeah.
I guess that's double the chances of pulling a glute.
Yeah.
All right.
That makes it a cure's turn.
It is.
No.
Cure's turn.
Is it?
Okay.
Yeah.
Because that works like fogged.
I'm sorry.
What's my range now?
My end range yet?
You're at 70 feet.
So I move up another 30 because it's a 50-50.
You're at 30 feet shot, right?
Yeah.
So you'll be at 40.
Okay.
You'll be at the same distance as me.
Cool.
Are you going right next to Ari?
Sure.
All right.
Then.
I'm trying to roll the D20.
Of what?
Okay.
It doesn't matter.
You got to roll the D20 because he walked up next to you.
What?
I don't know.
I don't know what this rule is.
Oh, that's great.
Because you were confused, you would strike anything that came with range to you.
Oh, I didn't realize.
He came up next to you.
I didn't realize.
So that's an effect of the confusion, right?
Yes.
Okay.
Well, I'm very confused and yes, I'm one might say critically confused.
Yeah.
Actually, you're, you got so confused when you swung your, swung your miss, you fell over.
Now you're probably.
But I didn't hit anybody.
You did not hit anyone.
Okay.
It's like you swing at something so fast, so hard that you just like spun around.
Yeah.
Right.
I guess I would be confused if I swung because I'm nowhere near anybody.
Well, he was within range.
Yeah.
I, well, no, I, I get the effect happened, but I would have to be confused.
Okay.
Uh, it's my turn.
I can't, I can't do anything and I'm laying down anyway.
Can I get up?
Yeah.
I'll let you get up.
Oh, gee.
Thanks God.
Oh, he's looking his book in a way to punish me.
All right.
Now it is the writer's turn.
Great.
Uh-oh.
Magic orbs appear again.
Mm-hmm.
Give me a wisdom saving throw.
Wisdom saving throw.
Yep.
I'm confused for another turn.
All right.
Tommy Two Butts is the only one that is not confused.
Well, that's actually helpful.
No.
Well, on a saving throw, who does a tie go to?
I don't know.
You're the dungeon master.
Also, you listen to a lot of, uh, Adventure Zone.
Well, they're doing something different.
Well, they were doing.
They were.
Yeah.
Who wins?
Who wins ties?
One, the attacker.
Two, the one making a save.
Three, the one rolling a check.
Four stays a tie.
Okay.
So.
Ari Strombo stays confused again.
Yeah.
Everyone else is fine.
Yeah.
Everyone else is fine.
All right.
Tommy Two Butts takes another whack.
So I guess it's 12.
That I had to beat.
Yeah.
All right.
I rolled a 12.
Or did I?
Is that my second roll?
Whatever.
That was the one where you were trying to see something.
Okay.
All right.
Sorry.
All right.
After that, the.
So.
Tommy Two Butts comes up with his javelin.
and stabs it right through.
Face.
Through her face?
Yeah.
Was she pretty?
Lord.
She.
She was.
The sexiest thing you've ever seen.
Oh my God.
He removes the javelin.
And the body just falls limp over the table.
Oh.
She was so sexy.
Oh.
But I'm confused.
I guess.
Still.
I mean.
You would be.
The room appears back to the way it was before.
Which was.
Just white.
Well, I'm glad we were able to solve this peacefully.
Tommy Two Butts.
That was.
Particularly brutal.
Well, you guys weren't fucking doing anything.
I know.
She was doing.
But.
She was very far away.
She's going to have to have a closed task.
You ran the exact opposite direction.
I was trying to dodge.
The room is empty except for this desk.
Oh no.
And the orbs.
That means I got a lot of space to room.
I got a lot of space to work with.
I just.
I just picked one direction.
You're a terrible warrior.
And the portals.
You don't have the chart.
The churd cannon.
Do you?
Yeah.
I do not.
Oh, thank God.
Shut up.
Nothing would have to call that.
If you.
If you had it.
Yeah.
Well, I have the churd cannon.
So.
Yeah.
Let's lick tits.
Wow.
Tommy Two Butts rubs the blood off of his spear.
Or his javelin.
On her clothes.
Before.
Before going through the.
The top door.
I'm sure there will be no ramifications.
From having killed the writer of the dungeon.
No, dude.
They were cool.
Everything's cool.
We're cool.
All right.
Break time.
All right.
Lunch time.
Thank you.
Oh, it's Judge Judy.
Checking her watch.
I was late.
It's cold in here.
Feels good.
No, it was cold all day.
Yeah, but it's pretty nice.
Yeah, fine.
Is that a sippy cup?
Yeah.
It's the only way to drink 10 high.
It's a thermos.
Oh.
It stays cool.
All right.
I'm glad you guys.
I'm glad you guys finally got around to this room.
Support it on Patreon.
What the...
What?
Oh, my God.
Well, what do we have here?
Let's take a look.
Some kind of design.
Some kind of design is carved in a relief on the floor.
Some kind of designs carved in a relief on the floor.
From above, you realize that these designs are actually dozens of tiny hallways connected to it.
Some have teeth's treasure chests, while others have tiny traps that would have trouble catching a mouse.
Or some nice these traps are...
Sorry, that was a note to myself.
Shouldn't have read that part.
So, this is a carving on the ground?
Yeah, it's like...
It's like recessed into the ground.
So, you guys are standing above it.
But they're not actually walls.
What?
They're not like walls.
They're like...
It's like a carving on the floor.
Yeah, but I mean, it's like...
You know that game that we played on the Oculus?
Where there were like tiny rooms and stuff?
And like, there's walls built up?
I think that was an assumption that those were actually walls.
Well, I mean, sometimes there were walls.
There were doors and stuff.
Yeah.
Alright.
So, this room is filled with a top-down view of a minuscule scale dungeon.
An adventuring party comprised of a tiny cleric, a tiny fighter, a tiny rogue, and a tiny wizard
cheerfully slogged their way through the tiny dungeon.
It's really adorable.
Oh, so we're watching like...
It's like a dollhouse almost.
Kind of, yeah.
Okay.
So, lying on the stone floor outside the minuscule dungeon,
several carved wooden figurines.
A green dragon, an ogre, a spider, and a zombie.
The door on the opposite side is locked.
So, one of these spiders is supposed to be a zombie?
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
My god.
Not it.
What?
I don't know.
Is it just the picture of the zombie is cool?
Ugh.
Alright.
What do you guys do?
Well, this is strange.
The adventurers, they're made of wood, too?
They're just little figurines, yeah.
Okay.
But they're moving on their own, or they're just...
It's just...
Yeah.
Yeah, they're moving on their own.
Are they doing magic?
I mean, they're walking along the dungeon.
Well, this is strange.
Do you think it's magnets?
It's probably magnets.
I still can't figure out how to get myself not upside down.
So, as you sit there watching and...
Okay.
You see the tiny...
The tiny...
Party...
Walking around.
You just see them, you know, open doors, check things out.
You know, not really doing much.
And they get to a room with a treasure chest.
They take what's inside, and then they go to the last room.
Do they have all their butts about them?
Yes.
Okay.
They look very confused, as there's no...
You would think that there's a final boss or something to fight.
Then they walk through the door at the end, and they just reappear at the beginning.
Oh, I feel like this is maybe portentous.
Foreshadowing?
No.
There's no writer of this game anymore.
There can't be any good foreshadowing.
Well, maybe it's just looping.
So, do they keep doing it, or are they at the beginning now?
They're at the beginning, and they still look very confused.
Can we talk to them?
You can try.
Hey, hey.
Do your thou thing.
Greetings!
Art thou made of wood?
They just keep walking through the tiny little dungeon.
I don't think they understood me.
Are they repeating the exact same thing?
Or do they do it differently every time?
Like pattern?
Yeah.
Like the underpants gnomes?
They do it differently, but...
If you look, they can only do it like two times.
And then they're...
You know, they can only do like a couple different routes.
Okay.
Oh, I see.
Um...
And then they get to the end.
And...
Do they ever battle the things in the corners?
No.
There's nothing in the final room for them to battle.
Okay.
Uh...
I think maybe we should...
Make it...
Make them a battle.
So let's...
Let's toss a spider in there.
So I...
I'd like to...
Can I pick up the spider?
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Okay.
I would like to put the spider in front of them.
Put the spider in the...
In the final...
In the final battle room?
Yeah.
Okay.
So they eventually make their way back there again.
I get...
The spider.
And you see him fighting it.
And you see...
Rays of frost and magic missiles.
Sword swinging and arrows flying.
Oh, it's a big spider?
It's a giant...
Yeah, it's a big...
It's a spider that's bigger than that.
Oh, no.
I thought it was a small spider.
They would just have to step on it.
No.
Um...
Though...
After a while...
They do defeat the spider.
And they're all happy.
And they go through the door.
And they reappear at the end.
Oh, no.
The beginning again.
God.
And they just look so tired.
Just so tired.
And they're...
Like, they've been doing this...
For a thousand years.
And they just...
Kind of, like, want it to end.
All right.
Can we destroy the...
One of the figurines?
I'd like to take one and, like...
I don't know.
Burn it?
Maybe the...
Uh...
The zombie one?
No.
Any attempt to take it outside of the...
The...
Board game...
Makes it disappear and reappear right back on the...
The field.
In the corner.
All right.
Well...
What do you...
Should we just keep putting one by one these characters in there?
I feel like if we put them all in there at once, they'll get destroyed.
Which...
On one case...
On one hand, I'd like to see.
Because that sounds fun.
On the other hand, I think this is...
I don't know.
Representative of something that might happen to us.
So, no opinion?
I don't know.
I don't know if you should light them on fire.
Well, it didn't work anyway.
So, I guess...
I guess that didn't come back to bite us.
No, I wasn't trying to light the characters on fire.
I was trying to light the bad guys on fire.
I have no idea what we're supposed to do here.
Okay.
I'll put the zombie in at the end.
Put the zombie in at the end, or...
So, the adventurers make their way over.
Yeah.
Swim this fucking thing.
And they...
They start battling again, and it becomes...
It's a little bit more hairy than...
Than the spider.
It's a close call, but eventually they do defeat the zombie.
Okay.
They walk through that final door, and reappear at the beginning again.
And they look even more tired,
And even more upset.
See?
Uh...
Pride spiners.
Well, I think eventually...
Well, I don't know.
On one hand, I think that...
The solution might be...
If there is a solution...
Would be to...
Just one by one, put all of these bosses in there...
Until they're all defeated, and then they'll be able to go through the door.
However, I don't want them to die.
I say we just keep throwing bosses.
I don't know.
I don't...
I...
I'm kind of confused on the puzzle here.
Okay.
I think you might be right.
Then I guess we just keep doing that.
Okay.
Which one do you put in there?
The ogre or the dragon?
Let's do dragon.
Like dragons.
Dragon?
Dragon.
They're gonna get...
Dragon man.
I'm gonna get obliterated by this thing.
They walk into that door...
And they see a huge dragon...
And you can tell they shit themselves.
Yeah.
Can we smell it?
Do we hear tiny little farts?
Tiny little farts.
And how scared they are.
They try to run away...
But the...
Slams shut behind them...
Locking them...
Or...
Locking them into the room.
Can we reach into it now?
You can try.
Alright.
I'm gonna try to reach in...
And take the dragon out.
As you do that...
He hits you with his tail.
Ow.
Giving you...
One...
Injury.
Oh.
So you lose one health.
So you are down to 12?
That's what I have.
Yeah.
Did you do it digitally?
Yeah.
Okay.
So you can't help but watch this fight...
As it...
As it happens.
And they put up their...
They put up a good fight.
But slowly...
One by one...
The adventurers...
Die.
Great.
The dragon roars...
In victory...
You see a tiny little chest...
Pop open on the...
The game board...
And the door on the opposite side...
Well...
Yeah.
What?
So the door unlocks...
When they get defeated?
Yeah.
They had to put them out of their misery.
Alright.
Wow.
Does that mean...
They've been doing it for thousands...
And thousands of years.
They just wanted it to...
See?
I...
I told you...
We should have just burned them all.
I tried burning...
It was not something you could do.
I told you...
We had to just burn them all.
You say a lot of things...
But...
That doesn't help us.
I mean...
It opens the door.
Oh.
And a chest popped open.
Alright.
I'll...
I'll open the chest, I guess.
Or what's in the chest.
Alright.
Inside is an unbelievably tiny wand of magic missiles.
Oh, great.
What do you do with this?
It works normally...
But a character has a 50% chance of losing it each time...
It is used or put away again.
Ugh.
A detect magic spell can help find it.
Alright.
Mine.
Yeah, you can have the magic crap.
You already have a...
Magic missile spell.
Why can't I have more?
Yeah, well...
What...
Is magic missile...
Is that...
You can all use it once?
I think you have to prepare them.
You can't hold your children with nuclear arms.
That doesn't fit here.
Is...
Is magic missile one of his prepared spells?
I think so, yeah.
What are your prepared spells?
Um...
Uh...
Magic missiles, burning hands, and, uh...
Mage armor.
Oh.
So you can't even benefit from having it.
I could have two of them.
Oh.
You can't use...
Two of them.
Can't I?
What would you use two of them for?
Missiles.
I...
Well, I don't know, Annie.
Can you...
I'm under...
I misunderstood.
I'm misunderstanding that because I am under the impression that I can only use magic missile
either once or three times depending on if I use the other spells.
So if I have an additional magic missile, does that mean that...
Isn't that, like, separate from my prepared spells?
Or is that, like, counted in there?
I don't know.
I don't know how many times you can cast spells that you've prepared.
I'm...
I think...
I think we talked about this.
I think I can cast either one spell three times or all three spells once.
Of my...
Of my prepared spells.
If you have a prepared spell of your three prepared spells, because you've...
And you've...
Reused...
With your...
Oh, no.
Yeah.
With your mage armor.
So you can use two more of your prepared spells.
And it can either be two magic missiles or a magic missile and a...
And something else.
Or it doesn't have to be a magic missile at all.
But...
You just have three prepared spells that you...
That you can use three times.
Right.
But...
But in that chest, there was a magic missile of some sort, right?
It was a wand of magic missiles.
So is the...
I can't have that for whatever reason?
Does that...
You can have it.
But it's a finite...
It has finite charges.
But...
Right.
Oh.
But so you can use it.
Because you could run out of magic missile.
Right.
I can...
I only have, like, two shots of magic missile.
How many shots does this thing have?
I don't know.
You don't know.
Yeah.
That's why I was just kind of curious.
Yeah.
Then you can have it.
I thought if you prepared it, you could use it.
Unlimited times.
But I guess we talked about that and I didn't remember.
Or didn't understand.
Or didn't care.
Pick one.
Alright.
Here we go.
Marching along.
I don't like what that portends for us.
We're fine.
It's worrisome.
No.
We're fine.
Alright.
So you walk through the door and you...
You come to a hallway that seems oddly familiar.
Oh, great.
We're at the beginning again.
Yep.
It's definitely been here.
You've definitely been here.
You remember on one side it was the...
The evil mage.
Which we...
Which we conquered.
You conquered.
But he was really cocky.
Mm-hmm.
It's not so cocky.
On the other side it was the...
It was the butt trap.
Which we conquered.
Which you conquered.
Wait.
No, we didn't.
I shoot it with the chard cannon.
You have to go in there first.
Oh.
God.
Shoot that ass questions later, right?
Listen.
I am feeling lopsided for most of this day.
And it's not great.
Oh, man.
That's funny.
You're a funny man.
I'm not a man.
I am a teenager.
Teenage woman.
Not quite a girl and not quite a woman.
Not quite ravioli.
Huh?
So you walk into the room and...
And Tommy Two Butts goes,
Oh, my God.
There it is.
There's the thing that I've been wanting to destroy for so long.
Yeah, no shit.
It took my butt.
I'm not going to forget it.
It gave me an extra butt.
Is it mine?
I say you return my teenage daughter's butt.
Who are you talking to?
I don't have it.
Who are we talking to?
Tommy Two Butts is saying this.
Oh.
I got confused.
Where are we?
So what?
Do I got to shoot it?
I assume so.
So is this...
Who said that?
That was Tommy Two Butts?
He doesn't even know?
Tommy Two Butts.
I thought he had the plan.
I thought you had the plan.
No, I just don't...
I thought there was a plan.
I didn't even make the gun.
You just...
You guys had to make the gun.
Yeah, but you had the gun plan?
I had parts of the gun lying around.
I didn't know how to put them together.
So where am I supposed to shoot it?
In the butthole?
Or the butt cheek?
I don't know.
I thought you were smarter.
I thought you were an absolute genius.
I don't know why you thought that.
Because it was in your character description.
Go ahead.
I don't know who told you that.
It's just...
You just looked like it.
Well, that's what you get for making assumptions, you ass.
Sorry, you half of an ass?
Good one.
Wow.
All right.
Well, then...
Let's see how this cherd cannon works.
Okay.
So you're going to pull the cherd...
I pull it out, and I'm looking at it.
And is there...
Like, uh...
Any way to look at...
Is there like...
There's...
I don't know.
Is there like a target or something?
Any help?
Is there any markings that offer any sort of help?
There's definitely some kind of home and beacon signal.
On what?
The cannon?
Yeah.
It was like beeping?
Yeah.
And it's going around...
Like a metal detector?
Like a heat-seeking missile.
It just looks like it would...
It was a home and beacon lock.
Okay.
So I'm just going to...
Just pull the damn trigger then.
All right.
So you pull the damn trigger then.
And...
A big...
Thing flies out of the front of the church.
Cannon.
And...
And it hits the butt...
The butt trap.
And it's destroyed.
All the imprisoned butts within fly back to the...
You got your butt.
...let's steal lights...
Automatically...
You broke out right there.
What was the last thing?
Slash your lights...
Yeah, you're going to have to read that whole thing again.
The butt trap is destroyed.
All the imprisoned butts fly back...
Within it fly back to their own...
Butter...
In a river of celestial...
And are automatically restored.
Did he break up for you, Drew, again?
Yeah.
He said that they all came out like butterflies...
Pun.
In a celestial light...
And go back to their own...
And are automatically restored.
All right.
So did Tommy...
Why are we going to call him Tommy One Butt?
That doesn't really roll off the tongue.
No, he still has two butts.
Oh, no.
He's going to be pissed.
He was two butts all along.
So I look...
I look down at my butt...
And it, like, comes back to life.
It's like...
And I am instantly happy.
And I look over happy at Tommy Two Butts.
We both...
What?
What did he do?
Like...
Yeah.
Like...
I don't...
I was going to describe it like...
Do you remember...
Is that a fart?
No.
Well, yeah.
It's like a reverse fart.
Which I imagine would be the same sound.
Because the butt cheeks are still moving, right?
That's disgusting.
Women fart too, Dad.
No, they don't.
Not in Dungeons and Dragons.
Tommy Two Butts looks down at Sum Sum's butt and goes...
Oh, God.
It doesn't look any better than it did before.
It's so juicy.
And I start twerking.
Tommy Two Butts throws up.
No, he doesn't.
He throws up.
He's aroused.
No, he pukes.
He's...
He's got...
But he's aroused when he pukes.
He's got a boner.
He's got a boner, man.
Wait.
No.
But...
No, he doesn't.
Okay, fine.
I'm moving past the boner.
The...
He...
Can we look at his butt and realize he's still got two butts?
Yeah.
I gotta imagine he's pretty disappointed.
No.
He actually likes having two butts.
What?
He likes having two butts.
But I thought that...
I thought that he had said he was trying to get rid of the other butt.
Did I misunderstand something?
Yeah.
No.
You understood him perfectly, but...
He was just messing around with you.
Just...
He was just trying to give you some confidence to pull the trigger.
Your motivations are...
Unclear, Tommy Two Butts.
I was born with the name Tommy Two Butts.
But I don't...
That wasn't a nickname.
Huh.
Yeah, this makes sense now.
Yeah.
It'd be very weird if I was named Tommy Two Butts, but only had one butt.
Yeah.
You have lost your defining characteristic.
No.
Because you're also not a genius anymore.
So...
What else would you have?
Oh, look who's talking over there.
These zombies didn't call me brainless.
What do they know?
So...
Oh, man.
Do we gotta...
Oh, yeah.
Now we gotta go back to the ghoul.
Those zombies.
And see what their butts are like.
You don't have to.
I don't really care.
But at this point, I've gotten everything I wanted.
So...
I've...
Although I am...
I have not progressed.
I just got my butt back.
I mean, that's a progression.
That's a sort of progression.
So...
Now where to go.
So we should probably take Tommy Two Butts back to his lab.
Does he need our help?
Yes.
Do you need our help, Tommy Two Butts?
Because you seem to be handling yourself quite well.
Even at times when we weren't helping you.
No, I definitely need help.
I get lost.
Even in times of great danger.
As you said, you think I'm not that smart.
I don't know how to find my way back.
And if I do find danger, I don't know if I can protect myself.
Okay.
So...
Okay.
Uh...
So you go back to the writer's room.
All right.
The one where we're going to go.
The one where we had troubles with it.
And there are...
There's the door you came in.
There's the door that you went through before.
And there's a door to the left.
You can go down the path that you came in.
Or that you went through before.
Or you can go down the other one.
Well...
If our main goal is to get...
Tommy two butts back.
Which...
Maybe there's another thing I'm forgetting about.
We should...
Be keeping a mind of.
Then...
We should just go back exactly the way we came.
Agreed.
To the lab.
All right.
Go back to the lab.
Oh, my God.
There's people in here.
Yeah.
There were goblins.
I don't know what they were doing.
Goblins.
Oh.
Hold on.
Sorry.
Uh-oh.
Retcon.
I feel like we skipped a room.
A little bit of retcon.
Yeah.
Retcon incoming.
Because you walked right...
You would have to walk right by these guys.
The zombies again.
If you went the way you came.
Yeah.
Goblins.
So you're taking us back to the goblin room?
The goblin ghoul room?
That's the path that you chose.
Yeah.
You know, the goblin ghouls.
The goblin ghouls.
All right.
So you walk back in the room and the ghoul is left.
Oh.
So they're going to be happy.
Yep.
Their butts are all returned.
They're slapping each other's butts and having a...
Just a friendly time with each other.
A gay old time.
And they look back...
Playing grab ass.
They see the three of you and they go, oh my God, thank you so much.
So much for helping us.
How do you know it was us?
All right.
Do you not want the treasure then?
Wait.
Yeah.
We'll take the treasure.
You can keep it.
No.
It was totally us.
And also Tommy two butts had nothing to do with it.
All right.
So they reach under the chair...
Under the pad and on the chair that they were having...
Holding the ghoul in.
And they...
Pull out a small ring box.
And they throw it to some some.
Oh, nice.
Actually.
I...
Is it openable?
You open it?
Yeah.
And it dissolves into dust.
Oh, fuck.
But then the dust starts swirling around and it...
Is it cocaine?
Into a ring of protection.
Oh.
All right.
Plus ring of protection.
Let me find out what that does.
I don't think it's...
Ring of protection.
It says...
You gain...
Plus one bonus to AC and saving throws while wearing this ring.
All right.
Yeah.
You have plus one bonus to your AC and saving throws.
Yeah.
I could have used that at some point.
Actually, I don't...
I think my rolls are so bad that it wouldn't have helped.
It probably would have helped.
But you didn't really...
Fight too much.
I'm not married to some kind of zombie now.
Am I?
No.
Okay.
Good.
Now, if there's anything wrong with that...
Did I not put you guys back into that room with the zombies?
You never did.
But...
Oh, okay.
But you knew what it looked like.
I could recall it.
Okay.
That's probably a good place to stop then.
Okay.
Back at the...
Wait.
Does that mean...
The lab.
Oh, we got to the lab.
I was going to say.
Does that mean something happens when we get to the lab?
No.
I don't think.
So what happens when we get back to the lab?
Is it as we left it?
Yeah.
The two...
The two goblin assistants there are still...
You know...
Going with it.
But...
Yeah.
Then Tommy Two Butts just returns to his work.
Are they happy to see him?
They show no emotion towards him.
The goblins?
Oh, wait.
No, they're not goblins.
Wait.
Are they goblins?
Yeah, they're goblins.
Oh.
Well.
Great.
I still have the Chud Cannon, right?
No, it disintegrates.
Oh, it disintegrated?
Yeah.
Oh.
My God.
Thank you.