I think the last time it ended at there can only be one.
There can only be one, and then did we start fighting?
Yeah, that's ultimately...
Do we look exact...
I knew it!
Yes, everything about you is identical.
All right, so they were even wearing the same clothes?
Yep, same clothes.
They both have all of their butt cheeks.
I'm assuming since he's another, you know, Kier, Jerry type that, you know...
Maybe he doesn't want to fight.
We're going to hit it off real nice.
Yeah, you guys should kiss.
I probably ran into this guy at the...
What's it called?
The Jerry Bury?
The take care.
I'm pretty sure I might have seen this guy once or twice there.
I'm giving the other summer some side-eye.
Well, I mean, like this?
I don't know.
I can't do it.
But my character can do it.
Yeah, yeah.
With stunning gusts.
Does it work?
Yeah.
Does it have any effect?
No.
It's side-eye.
What do you mean?
No.
Intimidation?
The other summer notices and gets very mad.
Does she make side-eye?
Intimidation check?
Are we locked in a battle of eyes?
Except for she's side-eyeing the other Jerry.
Oh.
Me?
Yeah.
What did I do?
Well, she already really dislikes her dad.
So now there's two of them.
She's not happy.
Yeah, because he's a big bitch.
How are you doing with your summer, other Jerry?
She's been a real bitch this whole time.
Oh, man.
She lost half of her ass, and that's all she talked about the entire time until we got it.
I know, right?
It's because it's the only thing that's happened.
She was just being so selfish.
I give her free advice.
She just constantly runs out of arrows.
You know, I try teaching her magic tricks.
She doesn't want to learn anything.
Did yours also use her bow as a bat to hit an orb?
No, she broke it.
I know.
That was such a stupid choice.
Here's some free advice.
I had to get her a new one.
Get her a haircut.
Quit being such a jerk.
I had to get her a new one.
It's better than the last one.
Yeah, did she take, like, half of your win-ins from that game show?
All right, that's it.
We're fighting.
Can I shoot the other Jerry?
Got to roll for a man initiative.
Okay, maybe we shouldn't fight.
There can only be one.
One what?
One surviving group.
Yeah, but what if my Jerry dies?
One surviving of each of us.
All right.
All right, do you want me to take on your summer?
I'll take on...
You can take on my Jerry, because I can't hurt another...
I can't hurt another Jerry Bear.
We've seen that before.
It does not end.
It doesn't end.
It doesn't end?
It's very sad.
What?
Us fighting?
Yeah, it just ends up us slapping each other, you know?
And, you know...
We ain't got all day.
Yeah, we got to move on.
You know, we got to get going.
All right?
So you take on that.
I'll take on your summer.
You take on my...
Whoa, he follows me.
Yeah, I got to...
What's that?
Oh, no.
Yeah, you probably want to unlink one of them.
I thought he was, like, just mimicking me, like...
Oh, it's not linked.
And they still move?
They still both move at the same time?
I think my thing's here.
I'll be right back, guys, okay?
Your lawnmower?
I don't know how I'm going to do this.
What?
Keep track of, like, damage?
Of which one?
No, not damage.
That's fine.
But which...
Oh, damage might be hard, too.
Because I don't know if it'll take it out of both of them.
Why don't you just put two blank characters in there?
Okay.
You know what you can do, Andy?
You can copy and paste the character in the...
On...
Just...
I think you can just duplicate it.
If you hit Command-C and Command-V in the sidebar.
And then change the name.
Okay.
Hold on.
And they'll show up as different in the...
So take them out of the initiative role?
Yeah, we'll just have to redo the initiative role.
Okay.
No, and so the other tab where it's just the characters.
The actor's directory.
Let's just click on it.
No?
I think if you click on it, or right-click on it, you can hit Copy and Paste.
That was what I said.
If I use Control-C?
I think so.
It's been a little while since I did it.
Oh.
Oh, it's just on there.
I thought...
I thought I used to do that, though.
Try right-clicking on it again.
Sometimes it takes a little while for it to pop up.
The menu.
But nothing shows up.
No.
I mean, there's a menu that shows up, but I can't.
It's not...
There's no copy.
Oh, I can duplicate.
Yeah, do duplicate.
Oh, okay.
Then it shows up as copy.
Yeah, make sure that...
Yeah, then you can just change the name to whatever.
Or you can just keep a copy.
It actually works in this case.
Yeah.
You can also...
If you click on their token, you can change it...
Or if you double-right-click on it, you can change their portrait, the picture.
Change the picture to mirrored, so they're backwards.
I don't know if that helps or not.
I guess it doesn't matter.
We're not going to be moving around a lot, but...
If I right-click on it?
Yeah.
If you double-right-click on it, you get the token options.
Yeah.
I thought that...
Oh.
I thought at the same spot where you select the picture, there's like a mirrored option.
It's like a checkbox, I think.
Oh, okay.
I might be misremembering.
Yeah.
Let's see.
Okay.
It doesn't really matter.
We're not going to get confused.
And the initiative will have the names, so...
Hey, there's a lock rotation button on there.
Yeah.
Yeah, but it's not the default, so you have to change it every time.
Okay, I found the...
Oh.
I can see Jerry's is backwards now.
Yeah.
I'm not sure if that helps or hurts, but...
It's going to make it probably so much worse.
Yeah.
Well, there's words in the background of mine, so I can see that it's backwards.
No, see?
When I added it to the initiative, it just says...
It doesn't say copy.
You might have to change the token name.
It's very confusing.
There's a name of the character, and then there's a name of the token.
So I don't remember exactly where it is, but it's on a different tab.
Or you have to hit, like, token options or something.
I haven't done it in a little while.
There you go.
Okay, there we go.
I got it.
That would always trip me up, because I would not change the name of the token when I would
copy over.
Because I would copy over, like, a generic character and then forget to change the token name, and
then it would show up as a generic character instead of whatever.
Or it would have, like, the person's actual name.
I think that happened, like, once.
I think actually it said butt radar decoy.
I think you guys saw that.
I don't remember seeing it.
Oh, because you were surprised.
I was very angry.
Well, you were supposed to be angry.
I was so, so angry.
I was so angry.
So how are we going to get out of this pickle?
Oh, but the tokens on the initiative aren't backwards.
No, they're not.
Oh, man.
Yeah, I wonder why that is.
Why don't you play some battle music?
Because I don't have any loaded up.
Take some from the Star Wars one.
How do I do that?
It's just a folder, isn't it?
I had music.
You might have to go up a few folders into Kahuna,
because I think you have your own folder for this one.
I'm sorry, guys.
It's all right.
Andy's looking for some battle music.
I have some really good ones in there.
Did you find it, or?
I can't tell.
Go.
Play.
Tiger, what do you prefer?
Clean-shaven Andy or bearded Andy?
I like when he gets the really gnarly, disgusting beard.
The kind where he just sneezes into it.
Yeah, where it's got like crumbs and shit in it.
Little bits of chicken fingers.
Chicken fingers.
That was only one time.
Did you find it, Andy?
I don't know if you're...
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, I don't want to see the name of it when it comes up.
I hope you don't get any spoilers from going through my folder.
No.
Can you hear it?
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, see, that one...
Oh, no, it changed.
Yeah, because that one's only a couple seconds.
Yeah, because I was going to make it like the intro.
Oh.
I just put it on repeat.
Oh, no, Andy, that's going to be terrible.
That's so much worse than nothing.
What?
Actually, this loop isn't so bad.
No.
Okay, so, boo, we figured out the whole...
Everything.
Everything?
Yeah.
Well, you died.
Well, for this roll.
No way!
Yeah.
Yeah, it turns out.
Alright, roll for initiative.
I'll do the copies, so don't roll those.
I can't roll those, actually.
Oh, good.
Turns out.
Aw, you fucker.
Oh, that was not me.
I actually did good.
You fucker.
Yeah, you both did good.
I just saw the green dice, and I thought it was mine, but mine is the tiger dice.
I forgot.
Weird.
Yeah.
How could you ever get confused with that?
It's been two weeks.
Okay.
I don't think that's your first drinky-poof.
No, you know how I am.
I go real hard real fast.
All right.
Do who's first?
Me.
Summer.
Well, they were going on and on and basically being mean to me, so I'm going to shoot the other Jerry with an arrow.
Okay.
What do I do?
Go for his legs.
Roll a d20.
That's his weakness.
And his arms.
That's his other weakness.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's never been true.
Also, aim for his stomach.
That's definitely his weakness right there.
It's plus three, right, Andy?
No.
For your longbow, it's seven.
Yeah.
All right.
Plus four.
Because I only put plus three, so.
Yeah.
So then roll 1d10.
All right.
I should have been shooting arrows this whole time.
Yeah, but you have a finite amount.
So that's eight damage.
Is it a plus any on the damage?
I already, I added it.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Pure.
Original.
The original.
Is it original?
We don't really know.
We know.
We have no idea, and we took no time to talk to them, so we're just going to start shooting them.
I took some time.
You just got angry because you don't like being thrown down.
No, well, I don't, actually.
Actually, actually, I don't.
I gave them an uppercut.
I am going to hit this guy with this girl with one of my classic rays of frost.
Surprise.
Ray of frost.
Oh, how original.
Leave me alone.
One trick pony.
One trick Jerry.
Yeah, well, this one will leave you frozen.
What am I doing?
You can't even pun right.
He's so flustered.
I'm scared.
It's probably because he saw Jerry get hit with an arrow.
Did he, though?
Yeah, for like gate damage.
Roll the d20.
Oh, yeah.
It was the other Jerry.
Oops.
Yeah, he was the one that was getting fucking snippety.
14.
So.
Okay.
You definitely hit.
So then you roll.
Uh.
One d8.
Three.
Okay.
Who is he hitting?
The other summer.
Well, I don't like that.
Why?
I don't know.
It feels wrong.
Okay.
Talk to your partner, then.
Partner.
I don't like that.
It feels wrong.
You just shot me with an arrow.
I don't think.
At least you had it coming.
I didn't, though.
I was best friends with this guy.
Okay.
We agreed upon this.
All right.
Yeah.
Agreed about how much you think I'm a bitch.
Get your head in the game.
All right.
What are you doing here?
Are we doing this right now?
In front of the copies?
This is why they're going to win.
All right.
Oh, you're so classic.
You love them so much.
All right.
So.
So my.
My.
Jerry.
He's a bitch, too.
Well, you're going to get your.
Yeah.
I doubt it.
Break it.
Teenagers.
All right.
Yeah.
I'm going to smoke cigarettes.
My Jerry is going to use burning hand on both of you.
You had a burning hand this whole time?
Yeah.
It costs money.
I don't have a job.
All right.
I have to reserve these for when I need them.
The ray of frost comes free of charge.
Dexterity saving throws.
Dexterity saving throw.
Okay.
Save.
Dexterity.
Normal.
Oh, no.
Oh.
Oh, he knocked me.
It is 14.
Does that count?
No.
Oh, shit.
Why did cure.
Why did cure roll cure copy roll?
Some of them just must have them highlighted.
Yeah.
I just rolled.
All right.
So what?
Do we get a prize?
Oh, you definitely get a prize.
Is it money?
Tisno.
Eight points of damage to both of you.
Oh, that's not good.
Good thing I was at full health.
Oh, I'll let you do it.
I'll let you do it.
You're not now.
Oh, I wasn't.
Was I?
No, I was at seven.
I was at seven HP.
That's not it.
That's less than eight.
You were?
Why did I have you at normal?
I don't know.
That's the last thing I had wrote down.
Minus three points equals seven HP.
Oh, well, then you're dead.
I am dead.
Well, passed out, I guess.
Oh, wow.
Here we go again.
Ben's drinking words then, bud.
The other summer.
That's me.
Hey, seven.
That's less than eight.
Fires an arrow.
I forgot to add plus four, plus seven.
So it definitely hits you.
I don't like that either.
Actually, this is kind of Jerry.
That's kind of what happened, I think.
For eight damage.
Oh, boy.
I have three left.
No, I had eight.
I had eight.
You had eight, and then I had to add three for the shot.
It's one D10 plus three.
All right.
Game over.
Oh, it's been fun.
Oh, you're both dead.
So it's minus eight.
It's how much?
Minus eight?
It was eight, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That's, I have zero now.
If only I had thought of to use, oh.
Actually, I don't know what items I even have.
Wait, you deleted this, and then we came back.
All right, so the other two walk over your bodies.
They walk over your bodies, and they walk through the, actually, they don't walk over your bodies.
They turn around and leave the same way they came in.
Okay.
Not sure how we're perceiving this.
And you guys just, uh, you take over them now.
Hooray!
There can be only one.
Do we feel different?
I mean, we just murdered them.
Yeah, but.
Do you feel different?
You did, yeah.
You killed your other one.
Your, your copies.
Yeah.
We were living the exact same life.
We just ran into these other people who were doing the exact same thing.
And we murdered them.
I don't feel like my body's exactly where it was before.
No, it's not.
You're dead.
But you're also, you murdered them.
You must murder to live.
It's Schrodinger's cat.
Schrodinger!
So what's my hit point total now?
Whatever the other one was at.
It was 16 minus 8 or something?
I forgot what I did.
Oh, that other Jerry died too then.
No, the other Jerry didn't die.
Yeah, because he got hit for 8 points and he only had 7.
Well, we didn't.
I, I guess if he had the same hit.
Yeah, but you said there could all be one.
Right.
And now.
I follow the rules.
Well, I think more accurately, there could be no more than one.
Well, you know, come on.
All right.
I'm just going to say walking through that portal or that door, it just brought you back.
So we're good.
There was some kind of weird energy through that door.
Ah, yeah.
Steos X.
Machina.
Yeah, sure.
Metal Ark Lemon.
I don't know what that means, but OK.
Here's a Harlem Globetrotter.
Metal Ark Lemon?
Yeah.
What other, what show is that from, though?
I feel like there was a show where there's a reference of it.
And oh, they referenced it on Aqua Tane.
No, that's not what I'm getting at.
The Hunger Force?
Yeah.
But no, like, I just remember that, like, some kids named their pet, Metal Ark Lemon.
Like, he ran away and they were looking for it.
So they were sitting there screaming Metal Ark Lemon.
Sounds like an American dad.
That's a good joke.
He's dead.
I don't know.
It could be family.
Yeah.
All right.
That tangent aside.
So you walk into a hallway and there's a door to the left, to the right, and one in front of you.
Wait, wait, wait.
I say we go straight.
So.
Are we back at full health, by the way?
Yeah.
Full.
Let me just write this.
Plus 16.
I.
What would we call this?
Because of.
I body snatched.
Body snatching.
Door.
Body.
Yes.
Snatched.
Swapped.
Snatched.
Oh, no.
We snatched it.
No.
I mean.
You didn't.
You didn't really.
We didn't earn it.
No.
We're just.
No.
Your character.
Us.
The players.
The players have taken over.
These other players who dished.
These other characters have just shown up.
The characters that we were are dead.
They're dead.
You guys.
You guys took.
So much care of them, too.
You really cared about them.
And then you.
You got killed.
I mean, I don't want to think about it too much.
I don't feel.
I don't feel great about any of this.
Oh, well, I mean.
Take away one of your.
First level spell slots.
Yeah, but he gets flying fist.
Huh?
He gets.
He gets fire fist.
He had that, but.
It was used up.
One of them was used up.
Oh, OK.
Now you only have one first level spell.
Available.
I thought I had three first level spells.
You had four.
You used two of them.
Did I?
What did you use the other two on?
Probably.
It was either.
You used Burning Hand.
Burning Hand's one.
Yeah.
And then I have you used two from.
Last time.
Yeah, but I walked through the door.
Doesn't that mean it is a fresh game, isn't it?
No, it's just health.
Oh, well, I thought.
I thought I got.
I got.
I thought every session.
I got it.
No, it's every long sleep.
Or long rest.
Oh, OK.
I misunderstood.
All right, cool.
Should we take a long rest?
I'm Ray.
I'm Ray of Frost on everything then.
All right.
Yeah, I know you do that.
Ray of Frost.
Yeah.
It did so well for you so far.
You've been dead the entire time, practically.
Honestly, as a player, I expected this.
You know, the character, it writes itself.
He just dies.
He dies.
All right.
So which way are you going?
I don't know what my options are.
Left, right or straight?
Left, right or forward?
Is there any...
I'm going forward.
Any visual clues?
No.
So it's just random.
Yeah.
Well, you know what?
Roll a perception check.
All right.
Let's see what you perceive.
Motherfucker.
I'm sure nothing.
I don't see...
Perceive it.
Oh, skills.
How?
How about 18?
All right.
So you just hear this loud kind...
Not loud, but like you hear like this...
The beat of a song.
Like you just feel the bass.
And you can tell it's coming...
From the left.
Hmm.
From the left door.
Am I drawn towards it?
Are you?
I don't know.
I am a teenage girl.
It's bass, huh?
I would not go near that door.
Is it a good beat?
It's average.
Average beat?
I know.
I'm not interested.
I'm only...
I'm only interested in the big beats.
All right.
So you're going to follow Jerry into the room straight ahead?
Yeah.
Okay.
How do we unselect a character?
I think...
I actually don't know.
There's an option...
That you can click away from it and it unselects, but...
I don't know how you do it otherwise.
I don't remember.
It always bothered me too.
Oh, that's a pedestal with a big treasure.
I feel like we made the right choice.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
It's Jerry time.
We're not even sure the other guy's name was Jerry.
It could be Gary.
Gary...
What if I'm a Gary, guys?
Maybe we're pronouncing it wrong this entire time.
I know a guy at work that's like that.
What?
He's been mispronouncing his name his whole life?
Yeah.
Weird.
Yeah.
All right.
Great.
So you're going to open this treasure chest?
A treasure chest that's innocently atop the center of an otherwise empty room.
That's it.
It's the whole room description.
I don't know about this.
It just looks like it's a nice, nice reward for killing yourself.
But we didn't.
We spared ourselves.
And then we took ourselves over.
No, you killed the other one.
No, we died.
We did.
No, we did.
Yeah, you killed them.
Oh, I guess.
It depends on your definition of you.
You.
All right.
Well.
Summer and Jerry killed themselves.
Gary.
God will not call you Gary.
I'll do whatever I want.
I'm going to open that chest.
All right.
Summer, stand back.
Get your bow ready.
All right.
This is.
All right.
So I start poking at it, making sure it's not got no, no, no magic spell shielding.
Does it?
All of a sudden, a big sticky purple tongue burst out of its chest and starts to lick you.
Oh, my God.
My God.
Get it away.
My God.
I don't like this.
Is it enjoying itself or is it like wanting to eat me?
Is it sexual?
Yeah, because if it's sexual, I'm more horrified.
If it wants me to eat me, I can handle that.
It wants to hurt you.
Oh, OK.
Oh, I get it.
Roll for initiative.
All right.
Fourteen.
Eight.
Mimic.
That's not good.
What?
Mimic.
Oh, that the mimic is first?
No, they said its name is mimic.
Oh.
I thought you weren't supposed to be.
I don't know why.
Well, you just probably weren't thinking.
You were stinking thinking.
Stinking thinking.
Lillie dollies.
All right.
The mimic attacks.
Jerry.
No.
You're.
You're right there.
It's making you.
Yeah.
And it's actually going to bite you.
I.
OK.
I still have a right to say no.
I thought it was.
It was strange that he said it was.
Like.
Innocently sitting on this pedestal.
It doesn't really make sense for a.
Treasure chest to innocently sit.
All right.
So fourteen.
Does that hit your.
Thanks for that advice.
Hindsight really is for 2020, isn't it?
What's your AC?
My what?
Uh.
Twelve.
OK.
It hits you.
No.
It clamps down on your arm.
That's not good.
Better not.
How could it clomp with the tongue?
Because it pulls the tongue back to bite.
Has it broken my skin?
So it does.
It does five points of damage.
So we guess.
Fuck me.
And I only had seven.
No.
You were full health.
You're down to eight.
He's down to eight already?
Down to eight.
This is why wizards don't run up and like touch stuff.
They stay in the back.
He wanted.
They are notoriously.
Physically weak.
Yeah.
But I.
You know.
I was.
I was trying to be.
You know.
A gentleman.
You know.
Yeah.
A gentleman who wanted all the treasure for himself.
Hey.
You are bad with money.
That is neither here nor there.
It's somewhere.
It's definitely there.
I don't think so.
Now it's on my arm.
Would you.
I'm going to shoot it.
Shoot it.
Oh.
It's not my turn though.
Oh.
It's your turn.
Well.
What can you even do?
Oh.
Let me guess.
Ray of frost.
All right.
Smack it in the head with my quarter staff.
Okay.
Roll a d20.
D20.
Plus.
Two.
So that's.
Thirteen.
And that hits.
So.
Roll one d6.
All right.
So that's five points.
Of damage.
Of bludgeoning damage.
Sum Sum.
Your turn.
I cast Ray of frost.
You cannot.
You're just a.
Non wizard.
Okay.
Then.
I will shoot it.
Shoot an arrow at the chest.
Okay.
You cannot.
One d20.
D20.
Plus seven.
Right.
Yeah.
Fifteen.
That does hit.
Yeah.
Great.
Roll your d10.
It's because this bow is better than my other bow, right?
That it's a d10?
Okay.
So.
Four points of damage.
Four points.
All right.
Now it is the mimic's turn.
He's going to bite at Jerry again.
No.
Right there.
You didn't move away.
He hit it with the quarterstaff to try to get it some separation.
And it.
Try to assert my authority.
And it only pissed him off more.
My authority.
Tied.
So.
I got it.
Fuck.
Fourteen.
Well.
Nineteen.
So it hits.
No it doesn't.
Yes it does.
It almost worked.
I thought about it for half a second.
Oh no.
Seven damage.
Oh.
He's about to be a snack.
Found a one HP.
Hey you're still alive.
So that's like a.
Good.
Still alive at 35.
All right.
So it is your turn.
Jerry.
Okay.
I don't know what to do here man.
Do I have any healing spells?
I think you have.
No.
You say no?
Yes.
I said.
Fuck.
All right.
Can I use the mage hand.
To pick it up.
And throw it off me.
I think.
Mage hand.
Is only for small.
This can't attack.
And it can't carry more than 10 pounds.
Maybe you can poke him in the eye.
Oh this mimic is definitely bigger.
Than 10 pounds?
Yeah.
There's a lot of gold in there.
Maybe you should.
There's so much gold in there.
Maybe you should try opening it.
Can I?
What if I.
Okay.
So I jam.
What if I jam my quarterstaff in its mouth.
And try watching it open.
Can I do that?
What kind of attack is that?
Is that another quarterstaff attack?
I think it's just another quarterstaff attack.
Yeah.
Would that do anything?
I mean.
It would do the damage.
All right.
It won't do anything.
It won't kill it.
All right.
Well then I'm going to magic missile it.
You're going to burn your last first level spell on it?
Yeah.
Okay.
So that is.
Can't take it with me.
1d20.
Uh.
Roll.
But you get three of them right?
No.
You get four.
I believe.
Or is it just.
I believe.
I think it might just be two.
Two.
So roll.
Two d4s separately.
Two d4s?
Yeah.
More like two d4s nuts.
Got them.
Right.
So that mimic is dead.
What?
Yeah.
Wait.
But didn't it explode?
No.
Oh.
It's just.
It's.
The body just.
Just lay in there.
My magic missiles are both precise.
And non-damaging.
They're both lethal.
And non-damaging.
No collateral damage.
Precise.
That's the promise.
That's how they sold it to me.
Like surgery.
Surgical strike.
What do you do?
I'm going right into.
Is there any treasure in the treasure?
You're covered in.
Like slobber of this thing.
Yeah.
Is there treasure in it?
Did he.
Roll.
Summer.
Get in here and check his purse.
I'm not.
Get anywhere near you.
It's disgusting.
You look like a dog just.
Spit you out.
Roll an investigation check.
What's that?
Uh.
Skills.
Investigation.
There it is.
You just pull.
On its tongue.
There's nothing inside.
Oh.
He's even.
Did it again.
As soon as you pull your arm back.
The pedestal.
Starts turning.
Oh great.
What'd you do that for?
And so now the pedestal.
Is a mimic too.
And it's going to fight you.
What is this?
What am I looking at?
Harlem Globetrotter.
Metal Ark Lemon.
Who's that?
It's.
It's a guy.
But why'd you send it?
Because Andy said Metal Ark Lemon.
Oh.
All right.
I did say that.
Uh.
All right.
Oh I get it.
I get sports.
It's.
Yes.
It's my.
Sport ball.
It's my turn now right.
Uh.
The mimic did roll an 18.
But we didn't finish the turns.
It's a new battle.
So if you want to re-roll your.
Initiatives.
Yeah.
Well I do.
All right.
Re-roll.
Beat that 18.
12.
Good.
Good job sucker.
Oh great.
Well it's not worse.
Oh.
Do I have any of my remaining magic missiles.
Or are they all burnt up?
They.
They're all burnt up.
That's bullshit.
What?
You rolled two of them.
I.
Yeah.
But didn't I have four?
No.
It's.
Uh.
It's your.
Level plus one.
So since you're using it.
On your first level.
You only get two.
Okay.
Yes.
Okay.
All right.
So it is the mimic's turn.
Tell him not to hit me.
Tell him to be a.
Don't be a dick.
Do this God.
Come on.
All right.
Be a dude.
Don't be a dick.
Be a dude.
You know.
Oh shit.
Today's Tuesday.
It's Tuesday baby.
Yeah.
I didn't even know it was Tuesday.
I didn't get my message today.
It's Tuesday.
I'm not even going to ask.
Don't.
Just tell us what's.
Tell us what's happening.
Uh.
It is going to start moving towards.
Summer.
Oh no it didn't.
So it's going to use up its movements.
To go towards summer.
Oh.
No you didn't.
And then it's going to use.
False appearance.
Yes.
You could do two things.
Oh yeah.
I'll move it back a little bit.
So it doesn't get that close for you.
Okay.
Oh.
Seven.
Yeah.
All right.
Nothing happened.
Can't do shit.
So now it is summer's turn.
Uh.
I.
I have listed here that I have a potion.
Potion of.
I didn't know there was more than one potion,
so it must be a healing potion.
I thought there was only one potion, yeah.
I mean, certainly there are other potions,
but I didn't write anything down.
All I wrote was potion, so it must be a health potion.
Yeah, I think you got it from the Flame Skull.
Okay, I need to throw it to Jerry.
Okay.
Give me an athletics check.
Or just do an athletics roll.
Okay.
Athletics.
Okay, so you successfully throw it in Jerry's direction.
Ooh, give me an athletics check.
Don't fuck this up.
Wizards are known for their athletics.
It wasn't a one, though.
He completely boggles it.
And as he's boggling it, it slides and rolls towards the wall.
Does not break.
Does not break, but it rolls towards the wall.
Okay.
My God.
Sometimes I think...
It is your turn.
Sometimes I think you deserve to die.
Am I healed yet?
What?
From what?
From the potion that you missed?
That you boggled and rolled away from you?
Where's that go?
I'm going to go after it.
Okay, so go after it.
All right.
You're going to use up your two turns to go pick...
Or your two...
Was it maneuvers?
To pick it up?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.
You can't take it until next turn, though.
That's fine.
Okay.
Oh, you don't have a choice, though.
What?
Yeah, you don't have a choice.
Wait, what?
You don't have a choice.
So, the mimic moves closer to summer.
I don't know.
And it will use pseudopod.
Why do they get all these cool attacks?
Because.
All right.
So, 13.
Plus.
Five, so 20.
So, that hits?
Yeah.
Seven points of damage.
What?
What is it?
How did you end up at 25?
I gave all...
I gave me...
When we went through the door, I thought we got healed.
Oh, okay.
I changed it.
Okay.
I forgot you were...
I was at 16.
You were up that high.
What's booze do total?
One.
No, not now.
Your total.
When you leveled up, 20.
Oh, you're at 20?
That's what it says on my thing.
Oh, so you got plenty of health.
Me?
Yeah.
I thought you said that we got full health after we went through that door.
You did, but I put them up to 15 only for something.
Oh.
That's what I get for when I'm doing my own...
No.
What is that?
14?
So...
What, that's six?
You're at six points instead of one.
Okay.
Yeah.
And...
That is correct.
And I'm minus...
How many?
Seven?
Minus seven?
Seven.
Okay.
Yeah.
So you're at 18.
18.
All right.
Tiger.
What?
Your turn.
Oh.
Okay.
Um.
Oh.
I'm going to shoot at...
With an arrow.
I'm still far enough to use an arrow, right?
I use within five feet.
I think as long as there's any separation, I can shoot.
Yeah.
Okay.
As long as you're not, like, entangled.
Yeah.
It wouldn't make a lot of sense.
Okay.
Then...
D20 plus seven.
All right.
Great.
Great job, man.
Way to go.
Okay.
That would hit it.
So...
One D10.
You leave that mistake in there next time.
No.
Yeah.
12 damage.
It's dead, right?
Nope.
See you later.
See you.
Oh, damn it.
I'm sure Jerry will make the most of his turn.
Hey.
I'm trying to figure out how to get the damn screen.
I can never remember how to do it.
Yeah.
It comes up every week.
Yeah.
You're not able to rotate anymore, right?
Let's see.
Hold on.
No, I don't think so.
Good.
Uh-oh.
I locked it.
Yeah.
All...
Yeah.
It just scrolls now.
I can't.
It doesn't rotate.
Good.
All right.
Okay.
So now it is...
Jerry's turn.
I used the potion.
All right.
That heals.
Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop.
Roll 2d4.
You can do them at the same time.
Okay.
Four.
So you gain back six points of spell.
Six points.
All right.
So now it is the mimic's turn again.
I don't know if he needs another turn.
I need the pseudo...
The pseudo pods.
You know what?
No.
He's going to close the distance and bite you.
Summer.
Sorry.
Summer days.
Oh, shit.
I rolled it under Jerry.
Oh, he got a critical failure.
That's cool.
Who, me?
He went to bite, but instead he bit his tongue.
That's really dumb.
Why does it say me?
Because I was clicked on your name.
Since he bit his tongue, he took a little bit of damage.
I mean, he is a mimic.
Yeah, which reminds me.
These shouldn't say Tiger and Boo.
They should say some summer.
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
Okay.
So now...
Does that make you mad?
Yeah, it does.
It makes me so fucking mad.
So fucking mad.
I'm so mad.
I guess...
I would use my longbow, but I think we were saying since I'm engaged...
He's pretty close.
Doesn't make sense.
Yeah, he came into bite you.
Okay, so then I have to use my sword?
You can use your sword, yeah.
All right, I'm going to use it with two hands because there's really no drawback to not doing that.
And...
1d20 plus 4.
20.
Great.
Hit it.
So roll a d8.
D8 plus...
What is it?
2.
Plus...
No, 1d10, I'm sorry.
1d10.
1d10 plus 2.
So it does 6 points of damage.
And it's dead.
And it drops over dead.
Ah, yes.
And now I'm covered in slob.
Slobber.
Yes.
Slobber.
I check it.
No, he didn't bite you.
He failed.
Oh, he bit his own tongue.
But he was pretty close.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was pretty close.
All right, that ends the battle.
All right, can I find out if it has...
All right.
Does it have treasure inside of it?
Roll an investigation check.
It's a pedestal, so I don't know what you expect to find inside of a pedestal.
Hold on.
Do we know...
Was it the...
Because it's called a mimic.
So was it one thing and then another thing?
Or was it two things?
They were two different mimics.
One looked like the treasure chest.
The other one looked like the pedestal was sitting there.
Okay.
Well, I better investigate it anyway.
That's how they got us.
11.
11?
You find nothing.
You just get all...
All slobbery because you reach into your hand into his mouth.
Why did I do that?
I don't know.
That's a good question.
That's a very good question.
Why did I do that?
Okay, so you walk back out that door.
And so now you got a door on the left and a door on the right.
The door on the right has the music beat that you can feel.
All right, we're going towards the music.
You got to choose the last door and look what happened to us.
You almost died again.
Again?
Yeah.
I didn't die.
I never died.
I've been here all along.
That's right, and we'll never speak of it again.
All right, I'm walking towards the music.
The music door.
Maybe it isn't that bad after all.
That has to be good.
Maybe it is a big beat.
It can't be bad.
It has to be good.
It can't be that bad.
No.
Uh-oh.
He's doing a lot of reading.
I don't like that.
He's scared.
I just read really slow.
No.
Ah!
room 28.
My God.
What is this?
Room 28.
Um, can you see that?
It's the name of the room.
Oh.
You can.
But you didn't.
Okay.
This room is pretty standard.
Not much going on here.
Except for one thing.
There's a round, fleshy monstrosity hovering a few inches from the ground.
Oh, yeah.
It's a big son of a bitch.
Maybe five feet in diameter.
Four eye stalks protrude from its glistening hide.
And a single big eye observes you above its slavering maw.
It's kind of maw?
It's a maw, dog.
Oh, my God.
Hello.
We are Kier and Summer.
Yes, your daughter.
I am his daughter.
A daughter, yeah.
What's your fake name, honey?
I don't have a fake name.
Oh, you mean my character's name.
Ari Strongbow.
All right.
This is.
Show me what you've got.
This is Army Strongbow.
Show me what you've got.
What?
Like, what do you mean?
We got to give him what you've got.
I am not shaking it for you.
You old pervert.
Show me what you've got.
All right.
I start throwing prestidation everywhere.
To do what?
You don't know what that is, do you?
It's a finger.
Yeah, I know exactly what it is.
Oh, yeah.
But what are you doing with it?
I'm making.
I'm showing him what I've got.
Yeah, but you have to like.
Are you doing.
I'm kind of dancing.
Yeah.
Are you doing like flames?
Sparks?
Sparks.
I'm doing sparks and dancing.
Sparks for my hands.
Okay.
Give me a charisma check.
How cool is it?
I guess we'll find out.
That's what we're about to find out.
Sorry.
I forgot what.
12.
That's pretty damn cool.
If I say so myself.
Yeah.
It's a spark in good times.
That's not a pun.
No, not good.
And it'll spark more.
Ed turns to Summer goes.
Show me what you've got.
You should see plainly what I've got.
Look at me.
Show me what you've got.
I don't know what that means.
Show me what you've got.
All right.
I start awkwardly swaying side to side.
And then I start to lose myself in the music.
And I begin dancing more and more.
Like no one is watching.
No, not good.
Roll for initiative.
What was I supposed to do?
Have you not seen the episode?
Well, Summer didn't see the episode.
Was I supposed to just start singing over the music?
No.
You've seen the episode.
Narrating.
Yeah.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah.
I've seen the episode.
So what do they do?
You got to start singing, bud.
Do it.
Yeah, but there's already music playing.
So it doesn't matter.
It's too late.
Yeah, I did the best I could.
I almost came out on top.
You were close, I guess.
You don't even know.
Oh, I guess you do.
I'm the one that does know.
Yes.
Oh, he's got all the answers.
Oh, rolling.
I'm rolling.
Hold on.
I'm hurry.
I'm almost there.
Oh, God.
Well, boy.
Your daughter is right here.
All right.
So the spectator is first.
She's leaving.
We'll look at summer because summer didn't even try.
I did try.
I was dancing.
I was doing a dance.
And it uses a fear ray.
So summer, give me a wisdom saving throw.
I object to that.
I wasn't even trying.
All right.
Then you did worse.
That better.
I guess.
I don't know.
That's what he says.
I couldn't remember what the giant head says.
No, I put that on repeat.
Damn it.
No, you did.
Oh, no.
This works.
This works, too.
No, it doesn't.
It does.
OK.
So you failed.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know.
I but I got a rather low score.
Yeah.
No, you got a three.
Four.
That's pretty.
You got a four.
That's pretty much failing.
OK.
So you're not scared of this guy.
What is it?
Does that have a mechanic?
Yes.
What is it?
You.
Every time.
I mean, you can still attack him, but you have to roll with disadvantage.
OK.
Doesn't matter.
My turn's out of for a while anyway.
Well, I mean, there's only three.
So.
Jerry, your turn.
Oh, you guys are going to love.
Oh, Ray of Frost.
I'm going invisible.
OK.
You're going to go invisible.
OK.
Seems very productive for a fight.
He's never going to see it coming.
Bad pun.
I don't know if that's a pun.
He's literally.
It's not very clear.
That.
That was much better.
It doesn't.
It doesn't have it in.
Rage.
My pun.
That too.
Invisibility.
How did we even know he can do it?
Everyone's got to turn around.
All right.
You got to look at me if I want to do this right.
Oh, there it is.
It's almost finished.
It was like right in front of my face.
I missed it.
OK.
So you're invisible now.
Cool.
Great.
Nobody look at me.
Great.
Nobody look at me.
They can't.
Summer, your turn.
I'm going to shoot arrows at him.
OK.
Are you keeping track of how many arrows you got?
Nope.
I just assume you take them off the dead bodies.
Sure.
I was and I had forgotten that I should still be doing that, but I'm still not going to do it.
1 D 20, please.
Oh, six.
Why is it going to be bad?
I'm rolling with disadvantage.
No, that's no.
You have to roll a wisdom check with disadvantage.
Not your attack.
All right.
So the first one would be the one that counts and it's.
And it's a set.
So you miss very, very badly.
Give me a wisdom saving check.
All right.
I bet I'm still pretty fucking wise.
Your average intelligence.
OK, so you're no longer scared of him.
Oh, no.
Roll with disadvantage.
Roll one more.
OK.
We're going to take the 14.
So you're no longer scared of him.
Oh, yeah.
I've gained confidence after missing in with my arrow.
Somehow.
Yes.
All right.
What is it here?
OK.
So it's just going to use.
It's turn to move closer to you.
And just yell at summer again saying disqualified.
Disqualified.
So I can go.
No, you got to fight.
All right.
Jerry, what are you doing when you're invisible in this?
I'm sneaking around behind him.
I want to move as close as I can, but sneak around to hide him.
So I'm going to use a couple of maneuvers.
OK.
Sneak around behind him.
Now that it's summer's turn.
All right.
I'll shoot again, I guess.
1d20.
Ah.
Miss wildly again.
The creature then walks forward and is right next to summer, but ends the turn.
That's menacing.
Oh, yeah.
Jerry.
My turn again?
Yeah.
Is there anything in the room?
Can I do a, what's it called?
Perception check?
No, you just see like the speakers.
It's a pretty basic room.
Is the speakers heavy?
Yeah.
They're bolted into the wall.
So there's nothing in there, you know?
Yeah.
All right.
Ray Frost.
Good thing you're invisible.
It's got to get real chilly in here.
He's not going to see it coming.
I was hoping there'd be like a rock I could pick up with my,
you know,
this fucking mage hand thing.
I never get to use.
You should poke him in the eye.
Can I do that?
No, that's not a tap.
No, you're behind him.
Would that do anything though?
I poked him in the eye with the mage hand.
Yeah.
It'd be.
You would be.
I mean,
he has four other eyes.
Yeah,
but it's still the curse to get poked in the eye.
Yeah,
but I don't think it could do damage.
So.
No,
it wouldn't do damage.
It would get him the hell away from me.
It would,
it would,
it would stop him from being,
uh,
or using one of his attacks.
Maybe he would leave us alone.
No,
you're right.
You should ray or frost him.
Yep.
He's,
he's frosted.
Right in his butt.
All right.
one D 20.
All right.
And then do a one D eight.
Oh,
nice.
So eight damage.
He's dead now,
huh?
Nope.
Summer.
You know what I'm going to do?
I will.
Reach into my bottomless quiver,
uh,
pulling out an arrow and shooting in his direction.
Nine.
Oh,
plus four.
Plus.
No,
plus seven.
That's enough.
All right.
So,
yeah,
it's enough.
Yeah,
that's enough.
Roll one D 10.
Plus three.
Right.
Yes.
Oh,
nine.
That's pretty good.
Actually.
He's going to,
that is pretty good.
He's going to wish he didn't fuck with me.
He is close enough to summer.
Oh,
and boom,
your invisibility is no more.
Oh,
no.
I,
as soon as you cast a spell or attack,
it goes away.
Oh,
bogus.
Yeah.
I bet you're glad you used one of your spells on that.
I don't give a fuck,
man.
Okay.
If I care,
go ahead.
Ask me if I care.
Go ahead.
Say boo.
Do you care?
I don't care if you care at all.
Jerry,
do you care?
No.
Yes.
I'm all out.
The creature will then bite.
Think better of it and go home.
He goes back to his home planet.
Go bite summer.
Aha.
Oh,
so.
But misses.
I'm too slippery.
But misses.
Yes.
So now it is Jerry's turn.
He is in a compromised position.
Certainly.
Where am I?
Behind him still?
Here behind him.
You're a little bit farther back.
All right.
I guess I'm going to ray of frost him.
All right.
Do another D20.
I forgot last time.
Did you hit him with the ray of frost?
Yeah,
it was real good.
Oh,
that's right.
It was real good.
That's not as good.
You miss.
What?
You miss a fucking game.
I'm going to hit him with some arrows.
Okay.
So that hits.
One D10.
plus three.
Oh,
so much damage.
So much damage.
And he poofs into a red mist.
He does die.
Yeah.
Embarrassing death.
Did we show him what we've got?
You showed him what you got.
What I've got is a bunch of goddamn arrows.
And I'm a good dancer and confident,
too.
Well,
he's upset enough to say disqualified.
And then he dies.
Wow.
That seemed unnecessary.
As soon as he dies,
a trap door pops open
in the back of the room.
Hey,
trap door.
I don't like the trap part of that.
Well,
that's why you should go investigate it first.
Investigate the trap door
or
loot his body.
Yeah,
go ahead.
Go ahead.
Listen,
I keep trying to investigate these chests
and I keep getting bitten.
All right.
I don't think you're going to get bitten
by a trap door.
All right.
I jump into the door.
Into the garbage pit.
It's not that big.
Oh.
I can't fit in it?
Do I get stuck?
Your one foot goes down into it
and
it hits a bag of some sort.
Is it
whoa?
Is it bodies?
If you can't fit into it,
why do you think
there would be bodies in there?
No,
I don't.
I get down and
grab
maybe
I get down
and grab his foot
grab her foot
and pull it out
and start looking.
You are
messing around
too much.
All right.
Inside the trap door cubbyhole
is a bag contained
in 17 gold,
two small rubies
and a dead spider.
I give
Summer the dead spider.
Thanks.
All right.
Thank you.
That's
that dead spider
is worth 5,000 gold
pieces.
To
whom?
Someone.
The seller
of
antiquities.
It's actually
a Fabergé
dead spider.
Well,
I give it
I knew that all along.
I just
I felt like,
you know,
the rest of the
rest of the stuff
is pretty good for them.
Yeah,
that's great,
I guess.
Wow.
She doesn't even appreciate it.
Oh,
I'm going to have to
sell this now.
I'm going to have to
find a buyer
or sell it on eBay.
Now I got to carry on
this stupid,
fragile spider.
My God.
You gave me the
you gave me a spider ring,
basically.
Worst dad ever.
I don't know.
I feel like this is how you would react in real life,
tiger.
No.
Like if someone gave you a $5,000 Fabergé spider,
that was,
you know,
you'd be like,
great.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Thanks.
you know,
you're welcome.
All right,
then.
All right.
There's only one door left.
Well,
you can go,
I guess,
back to the room where you killed yourself,
but see if we're still dead.
Yeah.
No,
I'm never going back.
I'm going to try and forget that as much as I can.
All right.
So you go into the door.
Wow.
Is that an anime skull?
No,
it's nowhere.
Oh,
he doesn't get it.
No,
I don't think he does.
I don't.
It's from Guardians of the Galaxy.
No.
It's a movie film.
Never heard of it.
a massive disembodied humanoid head hovers above the floor.
The bottom of its neck is capped with some kind of metal device.
It appears to be muttered to itself,
but what it's saying sounds like gibberish.
That's racist.
Against gibberish?
Could just be an accent.
Continue,
please.
What do you do?
Oh,
that's it.
Oh,
no,
I go ahead,
tiger.
Go ahead.
Continue.
What do you want from us monster?
It just keeps jibbering.
Oh,
but you can't really make it out because you didn't.
You're still too far away.
All right.
So I get closer and I investigate.
All right.
Investigation check.
Or perception.
Do perception.
Do a perception check.
Got it.
Successful.
It is successful.
Yeah.
All right.
So you see at the,
the device at the base of the head,
of the head's neck is a series of pipes and tubes connecting to a glowing furnace.
A clumsy series of gears and wheels grinds loudly from the,
from inside the device,
which coughs up weak,
uh,
plumes of smoke.
As the furnace glows brighter,
the head begins to speak more clearly,
which is to say it's jibberish.
It only gets louder.
Mumford,
potato,
sun,
spelling,
Casper,
igneous.
It sounds as though it's listed in words.
And now it starts to yell.
The piercing hiss comes from behind the pipes and tubes under the head.
And a bunch of thin strips of parchment suddenly shoot forth.
From the dark corners of the room,
four giant spiders suddenly rush up in a kind of worshipful reverence.
One skitters up to you and shoves each of you and shows the parchment strips
into your face.
Read it,
it chitters to self,
not out loud.
So I will have to talk to you individually.
Wait a second.
How does a spider shove someone?
With its legs.
Got them.
I'm one of them now.
What do you mean you're one of them?
Spiders.
I'm in the spider clan because I have a dead spider Fabergé.
Okay.
That sucks.
It doesn't suck.
They,
how much that we broke the other game.
I think they recognize me as one of their own.
Perhaps a guy.
You have an unlimited quiver.
You somehow joined a spider gang.
You can't have the force for the other game.
And he could have tried to stop me.
You made no effort to stop me.
I'm not even sure he's paying attention.
Me?
No,
no,
I am not.
Oh,
crap.
Okay.
Um,
okay.
So how do I mute?
Um,
one of you.
Uh,
booze should be deaf right now.
Okay.
Yeah.
I can get the mic drink.
Okay.
Uh,
picking over one through four.
Uh,
two.
Two.
Okay.
You really love this head.
What do you mean?
No one is allowed to approach the head.
How big is the head again?
I don't remember.
It's pretty big.
Like I could go inside of it.
No,
not that big.
Cause this looks like a space station.
Like,
yeah.
Yeah.
You know,
my pictures are.
No,
I know,
but I'm just trying to get a sense.
It's not quite that big,
but it's bigger than a human head.
Or,
you know what?
Give me a,
roll a D 20 for me.
Uh,
right.
Okay.
So now you really love the head.
No one is allowed to approach the head and you have to,
you have to keep all others.
Uh,
a lot.
Oh,
wait,
just try to keep people away.
Yeah.
Okay.
Even spiders.
Cause.
Yeah.
Okay.
So can you.
I'm deaf and boo and deaf and yourself.
I'll give you a thumbs up when you can.
All right.
Uh,
hold on.
So boo's on deaf.
I should be deaf now.
Yeah.
I can't hear you.
Okay,
good.
You're a jerk.
Okay.
Boo.
Okay.
Boo.
Roll a D 20 for me.
Okay.
Now pick a number one through four.
Uh,
three.
Three.
Okay.
So this parchment that he hands you.
It says the head is unnatural.
It makes you sick.
Just when,
just what does it think it's doing?
You have to kill that.
Okay.
I have to kill the head.
Yes.
Oh my God.
Um,
he's not even looking.
He's never going to hear it.
I know.
It's going to go on forever.
Hello.
Okay.
So I forgot to make one for the head.
So just go this one back in.
Oh,
I got to adjust some stuff.
I guess.
I got to.
Thank you.
I forgot.
It's not going to have a picture.
It's.
Hey,
spiders.
It's right up on us.
But can they see the spider gem?
Yeah.
But can they see the spider gem?
Okay., okay.
Okay.
So,
I guess we should roll for initiative.
Oh, this is a fight.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Good thing I'm at my most strongest.
Wait,
can we take a long,
a long rest first?
Nope.
No.
We're in this to win it.
All right.
Okay.
Tiger,
you're first.
Ladies first.
I don't know.
How much,
how many arrows should we say I have left?
Cause I can't have unlimited.
Did I use,
did I use 10?
Do you think it was more than 10?
I would say it's probably.
Okay.
I'm going to say all the ones that you hit them with,
you were able to get back.
But every shot you missed,
that arrow breaks.
Well,
I don't think I missed 10 times.
Maybe over the whole game.
I don't know.
Over the whole game.
All right.
So I have 10 arrows remaining.
And so I have,
there's a spider in front of each of us and they don't look friendly.
I imagine.
They do not.
And that other,
there's a spider up at top.
Is that a real spider?
What is he doing?
He's just standing there staring at you.
I'm free to make her move.
As you by the head.
Yeah.
I'm going to shoot it.
Shoot the one on the top.
Yeah.
I did not.
Oh,
fuck.
Four giant spiders.
We're doomed.
We can't,
we can't beat four spiders.
So the first giant spider just moved closer to the head.
So I'll let you attack the giant spider.
Maybe we'll become the spiders.
Like last time we killed something.
I'd rather be a spider than.
And I don't mean that.
Yourself.
Yeah.
All right.
So you're able to hit it.
And put the arrow.
Explode it into a million.
Okay.
One D10.
Okay.
So 12 damage.
All right.
As soon as you do that.
The other spiders run away.
Because they did not meet you any harm.
I tried to talk to the spider.
I tried to tell him I was actually it's God.
Spider gems.
But now you're just left with the head.
Well now what?
Now the head?
Yes.
All right.
So.
Who,
it is your turn.
I,
um.
I whack him with my quarterstaff.
The head?
You whack the head?
Yeah.
I mean,
are we trying to talk to him?
Or are we trying to fight him?
I think we should talk to him.
He just keeps mumbling.
And inconsistent.
Like,
just the same four words.
That's all.
So.
What are the four words again?
Oh,
five words.
Sorry.
Mumford.
Potato.
Spellin.
Casper.
Igneous.
Does any hitting happen if I repeat that?
No.
All right.
So I just have to fight him.
Yeah.
All right.
I hit him with my quarterstaff.
Okay.
Hit him a stiff whack with it.
All right.
Just to make sure.
That means you must approach the head.
Yeah.
I approached it.
Okay.
So you walk up closer to it?
Yep.
Okay.
Gonna smack it.
All right.
Roll a d20 then.
I don't think you should smack it.
I think you should be its friend.
How?
I'm giving it candy.
All right.
I'm just gonna headhunter right now.
You managed to.
You were just bludgeoning it?
I kind of more poked it.
You know,
it was,
but it was a stern.
Okay.
All right.
It probably caused some damage,
but hopefully I didn't get him in the eye.
Like.
Roll a d6.
Give it a quick wrap.
five points.
All right.
Summer,
your turn.
Um.
I'm going to
grab Jerry
and pull him back
towards where I'm standing.
Okay.
Give me
a.
Give me an animal handle check.
It's not very nice.
So I started laughing.
Yeah.
You're not able to.
Ah.
All right.
I had just kind of.
It doesn't really do anything.
Just sits there.
Blinking.
Staring at you.
Oh,
good.
I was worried that was going to really incite its anger.
I mean,
it's just that.
Can't really do much.
I'm just a head.
And I'm only a head.
Sitting here on Capitol bed.
Oh.
Show me what you got.
You should have did that for.
Yeah.
Jerry,
your turn.
Um.
Ray of frost.
And do Ray of frost.
Yeah.
Okay.
Maybe he likes Ray of frost.
I'm all out of everything else.
I have the spider climb and shield left.
Spider climb.
Yeah.
It's where I can climb on walls.
Like a spider.
Yeah.
No,
like.
I can give it to people too.
If you ever wanted it.
Yes.
I want.
All right.
Do one.
Five.
Five damage.
But then you notice your Ray of frost hit the.
Shit.
The.
Uh.
It hit the furnace that was underneath it.
And that really,
really weakened it.
A lot.
So it takes another.
Five points.
Yeah.
Hooray.
God damn it.
Okay.
Summer,
your turn.
I start sprinting towards the head.
How far can I get?
Uh.
If you sprint,
you can get up next to it.
Right next to it?
Yeah.
In between.
Uh.
Jerry and the head.
Yes.
Okay.
Then I'll do that.
Jerry and the head.
Yeah.
I'm going to do that.
Okay.
Uh.
The head just kind of.
Blinks.
But it's a little bit slower this time.
It.
Blinks slowly?
Yeah.
Interesting.
Is it though?
Just a thing to say.
What?
It's just a thing to say.
Jerry.
Jerry,
your turn.
Frost.
You're going to hit
Summer.
Summer's standing right in front of the head.
All right.
Shield.
On you?
Um.
Yes.
Oh.
Okay.
All right.
So.
You can just do it.
So you have a plus five to, uh.
Your AC.
For the rest of the fight.
Cool.
Yeah.
Tiger.
Or Summer.
Wait.
No.
It's.
It's the head's turn.
No.
Oh.
After Boo.
Yeah, it is.
Right.
I forgot you ran up.
Yeah.
Um.
The head just sits there.
Can't really do much.
Because it's just.
Continues to sit there.
The head with a bunch of wires and furnace.
Sitting underneath it.
I mean, it blinks.
But slowly.
Yeah.
Um.
I would like to jump on the head.
Okay.
Give me an acrobatics check.
Like, uh.
You know, with my arms and legs.
Like jumping into somebody's arms.
Acrobatics.
Okay.
Yes.
You do.
You don't make it on top of the head.
But what happens?
You.
You slide down.
And you.
You end up sitting on the floor.
With your arms wrapped around.
A furnace?
Uh.
The furnace.
Yeah.
But it's a clear.
Clear line of view for.
You're no longer standing right in front of the head.
Uh oh.
So.
Jerry.
Frosty.
All right.
And I have another ray of frost.
One D20.
All right.
Then do a D8.
I believe it is.
Yeah.
One D8.
Ooh.
Nice.
All right.
So then.
It gets additional damage again.
Five more points of damage.
To the furnace.
And now it blinks.
Even slower.
Kind of looks like it's going to die.
With how slow.
Its eyes are closing.
No.
Not the head.
All right.
What do you do?
Uh.
It's.
Tiger.
So.
His turn was just spent blinking.
Yeah.
All right.
Uh.
I'm going to jump on the head.
And hug it.
Some more.
Hey.
Acrobatics.
This time when you go to jump on it.
You completely miss.
And you just land on the floor on the other side.
Oh no.
Jerry.
Oh man.
Um.
Yeah.
Way of frost.
All right.
Another d20.
I don't know.
There's nothing else in the room.
Just to.
Just this guy.
Yeah.
Just the head and everything that makes it work.
Yeah.
Because I am.
I'm like out of attacks almost.
Except for that and my quarter stiff.
Yeah.
All right.
So roll a d8.
Hooray.
Another eight.
Wow.
The natural eight.
Killing it.
An anti-eight.
So with that, the giant head closes its eyes.
Not the head.
Close its eyes, but it does not open.
That.
And the furnace goes out.
And as Summer looks on, she sees the furnace just completely dying.
She gets very, very sad.
Very upset.
You never wanted us to be together.
You always hated this head.
You didn't even give it a chance.
You were shooting it too.
I was not.
You don't even pay attention.
So after the head dies, your head, both of your guys' thoughts are clear.
You're thinking back to normal.
No more stinking thinking?
No more thinking for you.
Oh.
Well, Jerry never really thinks anything.
What?
See?
He more just goes with the flow.
Oh, that was weird.
You want to talk about it?
You want to talk about your experience a little bit?
Are you scared?
No, I really, really loved the head.
Listen, the head wasn't talking to nobody.
That's true.
Which makes it.
He did not have your best interest in the heart.
But we don't know that.
I think I do.
I think if I just had a chance.
I don't think so.
I don't think he had any.
I don't think he had a good head on his shoulders.
I don't think he had any shoulders.
Can't trust a guy without shoulders.
They have no backbone.
Hmm.
Take that as a lesson.
All right.
If you guys just want to walk into this next room.
And then we can end it there.
Okay.
I run.
Oh, I can't move.
Yes.
I paused you.
Come on, man.
Oh, this is Shenanigans Irish Bowls.
Irish Bowls.
That's what it looks like.
It says.
What does it say?
Irish Pub.
That makes more sense.
I assume.
No, I think it says Irish Buns.
Does it though?
I'm pretty sure that's a P.
Yeah, P.
P-U-N.
Oh.
No, not puns.
Oh, my God.
That's the guy from Megaton.
What?
One of these guys.
The.
Oh, yeah.
He looks like the irradiated guy from Megaton.
That's.
Yeah, he is.
All right.
From Megaton.
Okay.
So this room is one of those chain restaurants that looks like a wacky tavern with all kinds
of bright lights and kitschy crap on the walls.
Numerous patrons cower at their tables.
Could the appetizers really be that bad?
So as you enter an animatronic iguana where overalls and a straw hat comes over and says,
Hi, welcome to Frankie Freem's.
Y'all need a drink?
She's trying to be like some kind of Southern Belle and is carrying a guitar.
Except she's a lizard.
And the name tag reads Layla.
Layla.
Da-da-da-da-da-dew.
Bye.
Thank you.