Okay, so you just entered this restaurant, right?
Yeah, shenanigans.
It's, yeah.
Well, it's called Cranky Freeze Place.
From Office Space?
Is it from Office Space or is it from Waiting?
Or both?
Bennegan's is, I think, in Office Space.
Oh, yeah, same.
Or something like that.
I mean, it's certainly a Bennegan's ripoff.
Yeah.
It was definitely a Super Troopers.
Shenanigans?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, shenanigans.
That's the other one.
The next person who says shenanigans, I'm going to pistol whip them.
So aren't shenanigans?
Yeah, well, it's called Frankie Frames.
Oh, Frankie Frames.
I knew that.
Oh.
A.K.A. shenanigans.
Yeah.
All right.
We all call it shenanigans because, you know.
You know, Frankie Frames.
There's signs on the ceiling that just say yeast.
I thought that was like a Rick and Morty joke, but then I saw the yeast sign that I looked up.
All right.
Ah, some yeast.
So this room is one of those chain restaurants that looks like a wacky tavern with all kinds of bright lights and kitschy crap on the walls.
Numerous patrons cower at their tables.
Could the appetizers really be that bad?
Wait, are they appetizers or appetizers?
They're appetizers.
What kind of appetizers are we talking about?
Are we talking fries?
Are we talking shrimps?
Well, I mean, you're going to have to ask one of the people.
Quesadilla?
Do they got quesadillas?
I love quesadillas.
Do you have sour cream?
And tacos.
I'd like some fresh tacos.
Little mini ones.
If we were playing in person, that would not be on Annie's back.
It would be wrapped up beside our heads.
An animatronic iguana wearing overalls and a straw hat comes around and says, hi, welcome to Frankie Frames.
Oh, I remember this guy.
She's trying to be like some kind of southern belle and carrying a guitar.
Except she's a lizard and her name tag reads Layla.
So Layla.
Hello.
Howdy.
Hi.
Do y'all need a drink?
No, I'll just have some yeast, please.
We're fresh out of yeast.
What do you have on tap?
Beer.
I'll have a beer.
Okay.
Go find a table.
Shake it, not stirred.
Just sit wherever we want?
Yeah.
How are the appetizers here?
They are really that bad.
Wow.
Like bad tasting?
That's honest.
This is an honest business.
Or bad taste, perhaps?
Or just a bad selection?
Yes.
Huh.
Well, you've been eminently helpful, Layla.
I'm going to go get that shaken beer.
What did you order again?
Yeast.
Yeast?
Oh, yeah.
We're out of yeast.
I'll have your yeastiest beer then.
Okay.
Then she leaves.
And she's gone for a little while.
All right.
I would like to...
I go see if there's booths, right?
Yeah.
Sure.
And you said it's like half crowded or...
Yeah.
There's, you know...
A quarter of the tables are full.
Can I sit in a corner booth?
Sure.
And as you walk by some of the other patrons, you hear them, like, crying.
And they're just scared.
They can't really talk at all because they're just looking around.
You guys got a bad vibe from this place?
I got a bad vibe from this place.
I sit down very heavily.
I mean, I always feel like crying.
Oh, goodness me, everything.
It's a very stressful time right now.
Not...
So, just a question.
Is it meant that all these people look the same or that was just...
It's just like soccer moms.
Okay.
All right.
Soccer moms or...
People that, like, just go to...
People that cry.
Go to shenanigans.
Okay.
Or Chili's or, you know...
They're supposed to be commoners.
And I didn't feel like looking up a different picture and making a token for each one.
No, that's fine.
That makes a lot of sense, actually.
Yeah.
I start looking around and there's quite a lot of soccer moms here.
Like, common people who are sad.
It's kind of bringing me down.
It's sad to be common.
You see some of them just staring off into space.
Some are hiding under tables.
Some are really...
They're making, like, forts out of the other tables that are in the restaurant.
Can I...
Is there something to perceive, perhaps?
No.
Okay.
I mean, you're seeing all this as you're walking by.
Okay.
It...
Can I, like, yell out to one of them?
Absolutely.
I don't...
I mean, you can just, like, talk to them.
You don't have to yell at them.
It seems like these people...
It seems like these people have been through a lot lately.
All right.
What's going on?
Probably should not yell at them.
Excuse me, Debbie?
Who's there?
Yeah, I'm...
I'm Ari.
Strongbow clan.
Yeah, what...
What's...
What's going on here?
We're not allowed to leave.
But you're, like, stuck in here?
Yeah.
We cannot leave.
Is that why you're crying?
Yes.
I've been here for years.
I think.
I don't know.
And the appetizers are that bad?
It's never gotten better?
There's never any food.
What about appetizers?
I was told about tacos.
No, you weren't.
I was promised yeast.
No, you weren't.
You don't know that, Debbie.
I've been trying to order yeast.
Oh.
For three years.
Oh.
They're always out.
Now I understand.
And then Debbie crawls back into her fort made out of the chairs.
So I correctly guessed her name?
No.
Oh.
God.
Um, wait.
Hold on.
Where are you going?
Like, I see you're hiding.
She does not come out.
Just leave her alone.
She sounds like it.
I mean, this sounds pretty spooky.
Do you think we should make a fort?
I think we should try to make our way out of here.
I'm going to jump on a table.
What?
Give me an athletics check.
I forgot how to do that.
Skills?
Athletics?
Yeah.
Or acrobatics?
Acrobatics.
Yeah.
I was thinking the same thing.
Although I'm worse than acrobatics.
Success by, oh, zero, I guess.
I don't know.
I have a 10.
You have a 10.
So you jump up on the table, but you slide on a napkin and fall.
And just embarrass yourself.
Oh.
Okay.
But I'm going to, like, still get up and stand on the table.
All right.
What do you want from us, monster?
What are you shouting at?
Come on, you coward.
Who are you shouting at?
What's the deal with this place?
Land of the lizard.
It did sound like I was yelling at Debbie, but that's not what I was yelling at.
Come on.
Come on and fight me.
She just went hiding in the fucking dinner fort, like, even harder, man.
Like, I can't.
Now she's not coming out.
That's not who I was yelling at.
I'm not yelling at Debbie.
I'm yelling on behalf of Debbie.
You're standing on the table in front of her fort.
Yeah, but I'm clearing it up now.
Layla the lizard walks up and tells you to get off the table.
Layla, we need some answers and we need them now.
Are y'all ready to order?
Wait, what's going on here?
I'm just trying to serve some food.
There's never any food.
We know all about it.
Now, what's the deal?
This is just a restaurant.
Then why is Debbie so scared?
Then I would like to leave.
You're more than welcome to go.
All right.
I make my way to the door.
You do have to pay for your beer.
Bear.
I ain't paying for shit.
He didn't get yeast and I didn't get my beer in either.
She sets it down in front of you.
Wow.
Oh, she was carrying it the whole time.
Yeah.
That's why she's going back.
I drink it and I try to trug it.
Is that an athletics check?
Let's see here.
Chugging a beer.
Is that sleight of hand?
No.
Sleight of throat.
It's got to be.
Performance.
Oh, yeah.
Give me a performance check.
I didn't see that one.
Normal.
Yeah.
15.
Successfully chug the beer.
But I'm not good at it.
I'm like, I got it all over me.
All this yeast just falls into your face.
Oh.
Why does this always happen when I try to do something cool?
I think I put that on your tombstone.
I'm oddly impressed.
Oddly?
Very oddly.
I take it.
Very oddly.
I mean, you are my dad.
Fair.
Now, what are you doing now?
Are you strutting?
I am making my way around the bar strutting.
Exactly.
I'm kicking my legs out like I'm a fucking sailor.
I'm a little drunk because I haven't had a drink all afternoon.
Or today.
I mean, I think I had a little cooking sherry early.
You can't drink cooking sherry.
It's disgusting.
Just through glasses.
You can drink cooking sherry.
I'm 16 and I know that.
You can do that.
Listen, it's like...
You can, but should you?
No.
But now I'm covered in yeast, so...
All right.
I will sort of sidestep towards the door.
All right.
We're sidestepping.
Sashaying to the door.
All right.
So you walk through the door then?
Yeah.
Yep.
All right.
You walk through the door.
And once you get through, you realize you just entered the same building.
My God.
Oh, my.
It's never-ending shenanigans.
So it's the exact same room.
It's not like a copy.
It's like...
The exact same thing.
It's like you walk through the front door again.
Like Pac-Man.
All right.
Yeah.
Where's the bar key?
Yeah.
Well, that's Iggy.
Okay.
Layla.
Sorry.
Layla.
All right.
I demand to know why I cannot leave this bar.
Because you're not allowed to.
Why?
Yeah.
Why?
Because you can't.
What?
That's what Layla said?
I thought Layla said we could leave.
Yeah.
She was fucking with you.
But now she's saying we can't leave?
Yeah.
So another patron comes up and drags you over to his table.
Oh, fuck.
What does he look like?
Come on.
Sit over here.
He looks like a soccer mob.
Oh.
But it's a man?
Yeah.
Okay.
I've got a lot of liquid courage and I'm wanting to like, I'll take her down a notch.
I'll get out of here.
You know?
Just sit down.
All right.
We got to have a talk over here.
All right.
You cannot leave.
Yeah.
That's what they keep saying.
Come back in here.
No, I know.
You guys keep saying that, but I refuse to believe it.
Yeah.
I think we can leave.
We just haven't tried hard enough.
I've died countless amounts of times.
Died?
Here.
Yes.
Died.
Oh, so you tried escaping by suicide?
No.
He died?
No.
Every 12 hours.
You die?
The, all of the, the automatons have what they call the slaughter fest.
Oh dear.
Which is where they kill every single one of us.
Is it painful?
And it's extremely painful if you don't die in a non-painful way.
Or if you die in a very painful way.
So it's painful if you die in a painful way?
That seems like a technology.
After the slaughter fest is done, once they killed all of us in here, we come back to life.
Well, that's good.
And it's like we just walked right into the door.
12 hours.
How many hours do we have now?
It looks at a clock on the wall.
It says, I think, two.
Oh boy.
Oh my god, that's terrifying.
Has anyone ever defeated the tormentors?
I want out.
There's no way my ray of frost is going to do anything.
It's no fireball.
I can't take on a fucking robot army here.
I need out.
I'm going to start panicking right now.
I'm going to hide underneath the desk.
Oh god.
Don't mind him.
He does this.
Now, how do we beat them?
We've never been able to kill any of them because we're just, we're not fighters.
We just came here to eat some mini tacos and they didn't even have them.
But do they have yeast?
I think at some point, maybe.
I don't know.
I didn't ask.
What is yeast?
Why do you want your yeast?
What is with your age group?
I thought you were under the table.
You want yeast?
I saw the sign for yeast.
Now I got a taste for yeast.
So sue me.
You've never had yeast.
But now I want it.
I don't, I can't explain it.
All right.
Well, what if, but have you ever been trained in, say, a montage?
Layla comes up to the table and sets down a cranberry juice.
It says, here, I've been hearing you've been in some trouble with yeast lately.
Oh.
Is there yeast in cranberry?
No.
All right.
Cranberry juice gets rid of yeast infections.
Oh.
Oh, wait.
No, that's UTIs.
Never mind.
What are you supposed to?
Oh, I'm not going to.
I play with you in that space.
All right.
Yeah.
I sip it gingerly.
But.
Okay.
These automatons.
First.
Yes.
What's an automaton?
The robots.
There's five of them here.
Is there, is Layla a robot?
Yes.
Oh.
Oh, yes.
You said it was animatronic.
Yeah.
Where's the words?
There are five of them.
Okay.
So we have to defeat them.
You already met Layla.
Okay.
There's Billy the Beaver.
Uh-huh.
Buster the Bear.
Uh-huh.
Piggy Wigglebutt.
All right.
And Tommy Titoed.
Got it.
All right.
Now, what.
And as he's doing that, he points to each one of them.
And do they have different instruments?
Uh, they do, I think.
Okay.
Do they sing birthday songs?
Uh, yeah.
Please.
Go one by one.
Okay.
Do they know it's my birthday?
It's not your birthday.
Quit saying that.
No one celebrated my birthday this year.
I want to do it here.
If I'm going to die in two hours, might as well make them sing for me first.
Will they do a birthday song?
I mean, did you, did you not miss the part, or did you miss the part where you come back
after the Slaughterfest is over?
When you come back, is it, is it a different day?
Multiple births.
No.
Is it going to be his birthday for eternity?
No, you just said it's not his birthday.
Well, what if he insists it is?
Then he's wrong, I guess.
Great.
So it's the same, but it's the same day, every day.
The same day.
Yes.
For eternity.
Yes.
So it'll never be his birthday.
It'll never be his birthday.
Unless if you somehow get out of here.
That's somehow sadder.
You'll never have a birthday again.
Oh my God.
Unless if you get out of here.
Yeah.
But you already said we can't.
This is where we live now.
I mean, if you just want to keep getting murdered every 12 hours.
All right.
Is it a nerve you game master?
How easily we just gave up?
We live here now.
Do you have any plans?
All right.
Roll credits.
Wait, no.
But what instruments do they play?
So Billy Beaver has a washboard and spoons.
Okay.
Buster the bear is a banjo.
All right.
Layla the lizard is a guitar and a straw hat.
That's not an instrument.
I guess it could be in a pinch.
Right.
So Piggy Wiggle has a clay jug.
All right.
And Tommy Titoad is the sinner.
All right.
So this is some kind of hootenanny band.
Have they ever played?
No, they're too busy serving and doing stuff around the restaurant.
Interesting.
Boo looks like he's looking up Layla and Buggy Bear on the internet.
He's going to get to Buggy Bear and Piggy Wiggle.
Yeah, you probably shouldn't Google image search Piggy Wiggle, but it's either going to be terrifying or extremely cute.
In my wedding, they asked me about the show we referenced in our vows.
I said Big O, and he searched it, but he always said it.
It said Big Ho.
That was funny.
It's like, no, no, no.
Anyway, continue.
So that's where we're at here.
All right.
I'm going to get killed every 12 hours and made to live through it.
Can I?
I'm going to go like this.
You know, like that awkward thing you do at Waiters trying to get Layla's attention.
Okay.
Layla comes over.
Hey, Layla.
Howdy.
You deceived us.
How?
Are you some kind of murder bot?
Me?
Not all me?
No.
I'd like to switch to the manager.
Oh, I am the manager, should I?
Oh, dear.
I'd like a refund.
You never paid.
So tell me about that guitar on your back.
Is that just for show?
No, I could use it very well.
I know you can play.
You look like you got strumming fingers.
Finger picking fingers.
Who says that?
Summer?
Honestly.
I can play them very.
I can play very well.
Give me.
Is there something you want?
Give me a few bars.
Take a load off.
I'm too busy for that.
It's only two hours to quitting time.
Just, you know.
No, two hours is when the fun starts.
Okay.
Well, why don't you...
And I got to prepare for it.
And I think so do you.
Yeah, but how about you play some music?
How about you drink that cranberry juice and get rid of your yeast?
Give me the fucking guitar.
No.
It's my guitar.
All right.
I guess you better get back to work.
Give me the fucking guitar.
Did you think that was going to work?
I don't know.
You're not doing anything.
I am very scared.
It being your birthday is not helping either.
It's not.
No one has wished me happy birthday yet.
Even my own brother.
Layla over here and comes back and goes,
It's your birthday today?
Oh.
What?
Yeah.
It is?
Yeah.
Oh, you're going to get something very special then.
It's good.
Is it a song?
It would be nice to me.
Recognized by someone other than my family.
What the fuck?
What did you just say?
I don't know.
I found this chocolate on the floor and it's not too good.
Yeah.
It's making you talk all crazy.
That's also something Jerry would do.
He's turning into Jerry.
It's slowly overtaking him.
I'm going to sit underneath the bench now.
Okay.
So the guy you're talking to gets up and goes back to his table with his son.
And you can see him start to like turn the table over to get prepared to try to defend
themselves.
Do you think we should get prepared to defend ourselves?
I am prepared.
I'm very much underneath the table right now.
This is my fort.
Get out unless you're going to help out.
All right.
I'm going to shoot something.
What?
I don't know, but something needs shooting.
Is it me?
Because I just put me out of my misery before these things get here.
All right.
You're right.
Let's let's just give up.
No, we're not giving up.
Maybe we can get my breath.
Roll for death.
Oh, boy.
Oh, God.
Well, how long was that?
Oh, no, that was only a couple of seconds.
Oh, no.
That was maybe 30.
Summer.
I'm going to have a panic attack.
I don't I'm not ready for this.
All right.
I don't have all I have is Ray of Frost.
Yeah, I know.
But Ray of Frost has helped us in the past.
What?
I've got one more idea.
I can turn invisible.
All right.
I'm going to turn invisible.
Wait.
When they get here.
That doesn't help me.
I can give you my spider climb.
I think I can pass that power on to you.
So you can hang on the wall or ceiling.
I'm not sure you can do that.
I think I can.
I think I remember thinking I can give.
Oh, you can cast it on me.
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure.
That sounds right.
So you're just going to stick me to the wall.
Dealing.
You're is after that.
You're on your own.
I can't do anymore.
I'm only a humble wizard.
And I'm going to go invisible.
You're also not very humble.
No, I am very, very, very insecure.
All right.
How much time do we have now?
About an hour and a half.
Huh.
Do we have explosives?
Explosions?
I highly doubt it.
Maybe I should check my inventory.
I don't think there's anything in this game that explodes.
Everything explodes, Andy.
My butt exploded at one point.
No, right.
It was just missing.
No.
Then what was that?
After it exploded.
What was that noise?
It was a fart.
All right.
I have a bed roll.
Famously does not explode.
Carpenter's tools.
Can I build a house?
I would like a fort.
That's up to you.
You only have an hour and a half.
I know.
I don't think it's going to help.
Huh.
How much health do I have?
18 remaining.
Can I take a nap for health?
I can give you a short rest.
I mean, it was a rest.
Yeah.
Give me a rest.
That goes.
What that.
Does.
What does it do?
It gives me power.
Like how much health?
A hundred.
Okay.
That's true.
Two hundred.
Oh, yeah.
You know, two hundred something.
All right.
We are so fucked.
We are boned.
Yeah.
There's no way we're going to defeat five things.
Autonomatons.
I don't even know what that is.
It's.
It's like a.
We're like a Chuck E.
Cheese.
Yeah.
That's not making it any better.
but hopefully it makes it more understandable.
All right.
So, yeah.
If you want to take a long rest.
Roll.
Well, it won't be long.
Because it isn't long.
Like.
Or short.
I'm sorry.
Short.
All right.
Yeah.
I'm.
I'm just going to waste all the time that we have.
By.
What are you going to be doing?
Oh.
That's to roll a hit dice.
But.
I don't know.
I think that's just.
Regular die.
No.
A hit dice is a D10.
Okay.
Well, I don't know that.
It just says here.
Hit dice.
On my sheet.
Hit dice.
And it.
Calls it 1D10.
Although.
Jerry's is.
1D6.
Okay.
So, yeah.
Tiger roll.
2D10.
2D10s?
Yeah.
Because you get 1 hit dice for each.
For each what?
Level you are.
Nice.
All right.
So, 2.
2.
2D10.
Bitchin'.
So, you regain 6 health.
All right.
Okay.
Boo.
Did you change it?
I did, yeah.
Okay.
Do you want to.
You want to take a rest.
Or do you want to prepare?
I'm going to take a rest.
I mean.
I don't know what my health is right now.
I don't think it's good.
13.
Yeah.
I'll take a rest.
Okay.
Then roll.
2D6.
What's the command again?
R slash.
Slash R.
And what was it?
1D6?
2D6.
8.
Bitch.
That's right.
Okay.
So, now you have a half hour left.
What's my health up to now?
21.
Why didn't it change?
Why doesn't it?
It doesn't change.
What?
His health?
Yeah.
I can't even know.
Trying to change it.
Oh.
That's because it's.
Probably because it's max.
It's only.
It says 14.
But that's not right.
Why not?
Because I thought we leveled them up.
Oh.
You're.
Yeah.
So, I think you're.
At max then.
At 14.
Because your initial one is.
8.
So, you have pretty low health.
Oh.
8.
So, 14 health?
Yeah.
Cool.
So, I took a nap for no reason?
I mean.
Basically.
That's pretty.
Great.
All right.
I will use my carpenter's tools.
I was down to 12 HP.
You were down to 12, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
So, now you're at 14.
Yeah.
Well, it wasn't completely.
Like, no.
Yeah.
It's.
Depends.
Plus, I was sleepy.
So, in game, I wanted to sleep.
Yeah.
You were pretty drunk.
Take that.
And Henri.
And scared.
And, you know, I sleep like a baby when I'm scared.
Interesting.
I would like to build.
Okay.
What are you going to build?
Well, I.
I don't know if I mentioned.
But.
I do have carpenter's tools.
You brought that up once or twice.
Yeah.
Okay.
I would like to build.
Fortifications.
Okay.
How are you going to do that?
With my carpenter's tools.
Which I have.
I understand that point.
Out of tables.
What are you going.
Okay.
So, chairs.
Maybe stools.
Well.
So, I would like to.
Take a couple.
Tables.
And take their tops off.
And make like.
Walls.
Okay.
Like double wall.
And.
Maybe take the.
Tables.
Or not the tables.
I said that already.
The stools.
And.
You know.
Put them sideways.
To.
Hold.
The.
The wall up.
How many tables.
How many tables can I take?
What?
Because there are other people in here that are trying to.
That have built.
Forts out of their tables too.
Okay.
Um.
I would like to take.
One more.
And put it over the top.
So, it's shaped like an L.
Okay.
And.
Like over a booth.
Or something.
Yeah.
Actually.
Yes.
So, I have like.
It's kind of like a.
Like a bunker.
Okay.
Like a wooden bunker.
In a booth.
Just big.
Big enough for you?
No.
I mean.
Jerry can.
I mean.
I assume.
Jerry was underneath the booth already.
Yep.
Yeah.
And I enclosed us in.
Without asking.
Okay.
Although it does have a side effect.
We can't get out.
Well.
While you're in the middle of doing that.
Because.
You're not going to get that done in a half hour.
Depends.
No.
Alright.
So, the lights turn off.
You hear a bunch of sirens going off.
And you just see a bunch of strobe lights.
Oh dear.
And you see.
You see Layla.
Bring out her guitar.
And start strumming on it.
And you hear this really.
Really.
Catchy song.
As they start going crazy.
And smashing everyone with their guitar.
Or with their instruments.
Oh dear.
Are people dying?
Yeah.
You hear screams everywhere.
Is it bloody?
Very.
I'm kind of imagining.
Have you ever seen.
What's that?
Quentin Tarantino.
Dust Till Dawn.
Where they're at the strip club.
And then.
Vampires.
Yeah.
It's vampires.
Yeah.
Well.
Yeah.
Something like that.
So.
Roll for initiative.
Well.
Me too.
I'm hiding.
They don't know where I'm at.
Yeah.
Maybe they didn't see us.
They know where you're at.
They know where everyone's at.
They watch.
They watch you build this.
And you didn't get done with it.
The whole.
The whole way.
Yeah.
But what if one of us.
Was invisible.
And the other one was stuck to the ceiling.
They can still see you.
Well me.
I'm invisible.
They'll find you.
Also.
You're not invisible.
You forgot to go invisible.
I didn't forget.
I'm holding it out until the last minute.
All right.
And then.
You're going to lead me out to dry.
Aren't you?
I mean.
It fits character.
Not this character.
Oh.
What?
Oh no.
Oh here.
I can roll for initiative now.
Oh yeah.
Baby.
Oh.
Nice.
Man.
Hey.
Harry's first.
All right.
Um.
How.
Okay.
Is it blocked.
Basically.
The same.
As how you have everything laid out here.
Like where everyone's standing.
Basically.
Or do you want to.
Move it.
Oh those are just like.
Um.
No.
Because they're.
All the characters are like.
Close to each other.
Because they're.
They're.
Seen in.
Doing.
You know.
Destroying everyone.
During the slaughter fest.
Okay.
So they're going around.
From like.
Table to table.
Okay.
Just.
Oh boy.
Just.
Myrtleizing.
Everyone.
Okay.
So they're going like.
Table to table.
And we're like.
The last table.
Maybe.
Or like.
Just one of the tables.
You're just one of the tables.
You don't know.
Okay.
All right.
Um.
I.
Am.
Going to shoot the.
Shoot at the singer.
I forgot.
Which one was the singer.
Piggy.
Piggy butt.
Tommy.
Tommy T.
Toad.
Oh.
He's a toad.
Okay.
Um.
You don't.
Have them named here.
I do not.
But Tommy T.
Toad is the ogre.
Okay.
Shrek.
I.
I love the ghoul.
Is the ghoul.
From Fallout.
Yeah.
From Megaton.
I only know that.
Because I blew everybody up.
In Megaton.
I forgot.
What do I have to roll?
One d10.
No.
It's d20.
Oh.
That's damage.
Okay.
So it's plus seven though.
Yes.
With the bow.
Right.
So just.
Okay.
So just the d20.
Okay.
That's.
You missed.
Is he.
Mad.
Couldn't even tell.
That's how much you missed.
So the ghoul.
Takes out.
This.
This commoner.
And.
And gets.
The commoner.
Gets thrown across the room.
And.
Brutal.
Amity.
Yes.
We know.
It's not very good hiding.
If you keep telling us you're hiding.
I can hear you.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
I'm just so scared.
Woo.
With three damage.
And she.
She lands.
Just.
Over.
Somewhere.
It's kind of just laying there.
So where did I find her?
Buster the bear.
Attractive.
Huh?
So where did I find her attractive?
The commoner.
Layla?
No.
The commoner.
The lizard?
No.
The woman.
The commoner.
The soccer mom.
She's hot.
She's.
You should probably zoom in on the picture.
All right.
Fine.
Ruin my dreams.
Oh wait.
No.
I'm just spinning.
So the bugbear.
That attacks the other.
Person at the table.
He's not.
Terrible.
But definitely.
She is a commoner.
Oh.
I could.
Should go back.
My.
Half.
Finished.
And.
I don't see what's wrong with her.
Okay.
So what if she is old?
Oh.
So the bugbear.
Bashes.
The.
The commoner.
With his.
His banjo.
And.
This one is just a.
Pulp now.
After being beaten with the banjo.
Like a good pulp though right?
It's like a pulp that was like really sexy.
And when she was like 18.
Yeah.
But that.
Yeah.
Except super dead.
It's a dead pulp.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Deadpool.
The owlbear starts walking its way towards you guys.
Maybe.
It'll listen to reasons.
Maybe he won't see me.
No.
It's.
Uh.
Boop's turn.
Does it see us?
I.
Uh.
Cast invisibility.
You.
Are gonna screw me.
Do you.
Do you have any spell slots left?
I didn't.
Uh.
I have.
I used invisibility once.
Um.
I don't remember how this works.
Yeah.
I think you have.
You only have one spot left.
Or one.
One.
Um.
Stall slot left.
So think.
Wisely.
Is it.
Is it a two.
Is it a two spot.
Or a one spot.
You have one of each.
All right.
Um.
Yeah.
Invisibility.
Okay.
How does that help?
Find out.
Don't you want to help?
I mean.
I'm probably helped in a little bit.
But.
Right now.
Uh.
I don't want to die.
You're right.
Let's see.
Yeah.
It doesn't matter.
Because we're gonna get murdered.
And we're gonna have to come back.
And we're gonna get murdered again.
Okay.
I think I'm gonna go with invisibility.
Great.
Okay.
You cast invisibility.
And you.
Use the spell slot for it.
That's fine.
It's not fine.
None of this is fine.
Right.
All right.
So the ogre.
Starts to walk.
Starts to follow.
Or I'm sorry.
I thought he was a toad.
Yeah.
Tommy T.
Toad.
Starts following.
The.
Billy the beaver.
What is he like.
Smell us or some shit?
Maybe.
And tiger.
Your turn.
Does invisibility.
Include smell.
All right.
Shut up.
Don't tell him.
You do him.
I am going to shoot at the.
Shit.
You just said it.
The.
Beaver.
Yeah.
Shoot the beaver.
Billy beaver.
Yeah.
Whatever the fuck.
Doesn't matter.
Okay.
Yeah.
Whatever the fuck.
All right.
Roll a d20.
Oh fuck.
Do so.
You do not hit him.
Oh wait.
What's your seven?
Yeah.
You do.
No.
I already added the seven.
Yeah.
One.
Oh yeah.
It's fine.
I just saw.
The seven on the dice.
I didn't see the 14.
Okay.
So you do hit him.
Did I hit him last time too?
No.
You want to check that math?
Yes.
Or no.
I don't.
Okay.
Is he dead now?
Uh.
Roll how much damage you do.
Is it.
It was just 1d10 I think.
Uh.
Yeah.
I thought I was adding plus for something.
Plus.
Plus three.
Why is it plus three?
Because that's what it is.
It's like a.
It's like a sweeter bow or something.
No.
The better bow went from 1d8 to 1d10.
But you always had plus three Pearson.
Oh.
Okay.
Huh.
More damage.
He is not dead.
Oh.
Suck it.
Beaver.
Uh.
So now the ghoul starts walking over to the other tables.
He's not a ghoul.
Oh yeah.
Sorry.
Layla.
The lizard.
Starts walking to the other tables to take care of the other commoners.
And I'm not going to waste my time doing that.
It's a good idea.
But make sure that they take some damage though.
They're dead.
Pulp?
Pretty much.
But attractive pulp.
Sure.
Oh my god.
What?
No good?
Good time.
A little tough to swallow.
I bet she's not tough to swallow.
And then.
Get it?
Because she's liquefied.
After the bear starts walking over and does the same thing to someone else.
This is bad news.
Now the owl.
Or not the owl.
That one.
The beaver.
Gets close to the fort.
That you have built.
Yes.
But impenetrable.
Attempted to build.
Because you didn't finish it.
Because I was too busy sleeping.
Yeah.
And.
Attempts to take out the front wall of it.
Summer get out there and stop it.
Be gone beaver.
He's able to move it just a little bit.
But not completely into.
You know.
To.
Open it wide open.
What is the armor class of the.
Beaver.
No.
Not the beaver.
Of the wall.
I was just doing it like a 50-50 kind of thing.
Oh.
Okay.
A fort kick ass.
So now it's Boo's turn.
Oh.
Um.
What am I supposed to do?
I'm heading.
Can I skip my turn?
I mean.
You can't skip it.
But you can just kind of sit there.
I guess.
It's like.
You don't get to go later.
Uh.
I just don't.
I don't want to spoil where I'm hidden.
Plus I'm pretty much tapped out on all my major spells.
What do I get?
What about Rhea Frost?
Isn't that like a.
Like a spell trip or whatever?
Hand trip.
All right.
Can I use mage hand.
To make a fake hand.
And throw something.
To distract the beaver.
But it cannot weigh that much.
Right.
So like.
I think it's only up to like 10 pounds or something.
Yeah.
Like a mug.
Can I just.
Yeah.
A mug.
Yeah.
Okay.
To throw it where?
Just.
Just anywhere.
Just away.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Cool.
Roll a d20.
Great job.
Excellent mage hand.
You successfully throw the mug.
But it does not.
Phase the.
Doesn't even distract him.
Billy Beaver.
Oh man.
No.
There's so much other noise going on.
And screaming from the murders.
Of the other patrons.
I hate this place.
And sirens.
And lights flashing.
And strobe lights.
I'm going.
I'm going on my phone right now.
I'm giving it a bad yelp.
This place is going down a star.
If.
Before I die.
Let me tell you.
You don't have a phone.
I mean.
I'm just going to yell.
I didn't say I had a.
I mean.
You literally said you had a phone.
All right.
I'm Kaffir, pretending to be Jerry, who's also Boo.
I got a lot of layers to work with.
He's like an onion.
Smelly, invisible onion.
I'm like, shrink.
Shrink?
So the piggy wiggle butt.
Is that me?
No.
It's worth a try.
You're a piggy wiggle half butt.
No, I'm full butt now.
Oh, yeah.
Starts walking over towards the other group of guests, but does not do anything.
And then Tommy Tito finishes walking up next to...
Billy Beaver.
Wait a second.
Didn't we have a Tommy Two Butts already?
And now we have a Tommy Toad?
Tommy Tito, yeah.
Is every third person here named Tommy?
His full name is Thomas.
All right.
Bloody shit.
All right.
So now we're being surrounded.
Yes.
And now, Tiger, your turn.
I'm going to light this shit on fire.
Oh, my God.
How?
With fire.
I have a Tinder box, which I assume is like a matchbox.
And I have ten torches.
Okay.
I'm going to burn it down.
Four kick-asses going up in flames.
So you're going to burn yourself with it?
No.
Not per se.
It kind of seems like what you're going for.
I'm going to try not to.
How are you going to attempt that?
I'm going to light it on fire.
Light the torches or the fort?
The fort.
Okay.
And then I'm going to cover my face in my cloak, which is sweet.
And your cloak can stop fire.
I mean, I'm not going to.
It will.
I mean, I got to do something.
These people are on top of us.
I'm not going to be able to kill both of them.
So I got to try something.
We're going to die anyway.
And we're going to come back to life.
And then we'll have to live it over again.
I've got to do some wild card shit.
Okay.
So can I do that?
Sure.
Give me a.
Do.
Survival.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
I have to survive.
I mean, I.
Is it.
I mean, like, is it.
Am I going to light on fire and die?
Yes.
No.
All right.
Like you said, what's the worst that happens?
You die and you come back.
Okay.
So you, you, you successfully light the fire and light the torch.
All right.
And then you just.
Asphyxiate.
I mean, what, what are the other?
Like.
So.
It goes up in flames.
And I'm assuming the animatronics are afraid of fire.
Why would they be afraid of fire?
They've never.
No one's ever thought.
No one's ever thought to light a fire before.
It's a restaurant.
Yeah.
Fires never happen in restaurants, especially restaurants that never serve food.
There's a stove.
Yeah.
But they're not doing anything.
So they, they do cook.
So they're not that scared of fire.
Who made, who made a fucking chef?
The game master.
Stupid.
Just.
He's a goddamn beaver.
Animatronic beaver.
And a toad.
They're cold blooded.
He probably exploded from fire.
It's a robot.
There is no blood.
You're so fucked.
All right.
Well, I mean, my turn is over.
Unless you give me another turn.
Can I also, can I also shoot a, can I also shoot an arrow?
No.
All right.
Great.
So the goal is seeing that there's this fire that started, started walking, starts walking
towards the fire.
He's attracted to fire?
Yeah.
The lizard?
Yeah.
That seems unnecessarily punitive.
He's coming for you.
You're fucked.
I was about, it was going to happen either way.
Buster Bear goes and takes care of this commoner.
sexually.
Now the, Billy the beaver starts attacking.
The fire.
The barricade.
No.
Go away.
Which is now significantly weakened by fire.
Also, they're impervious to fire and attracted to it.
Do something.
I did something.
I lit it on fire.
Oh, the, the beaver knocks away the table.
Uh-huh.
That's on fire.
Spreading the fire elsewhere.
All right.
And also ruining our chance at asphyxiation, which was my backup plan.
You didn't complete the fort.
Yeah, but you could, you could always die of smoke.
Real way.
He kind of did.
And you still can die, even though the fire's away.
But, really, in a sense, the fort was inside of us the whole time.
The fort was the friends we made along the way.
It was metaphorical, you see.
I blast, yeah, so we're wide open, right?
Yeah.
All right.
Raya Frost, hardcore right now.
It's going to put the fire out.
I didn't say it was a good idea.
It's all I've got.
All right.
That and my speed.
You have speed?
No.
All right.
Against who?
The buggy, whoever's right in front of me.
That is Thomas T. Toad.
Yeah, Thomas T. Toad is getting flayed or frozen.
Okay, so go ahead and roll a d20.
Slash.
Also, since he's an amphibian, I think this should get extra.
It should get extra.
Because, you know, amphibians.
We tried that already.
It turns out he's actually a robot.
All right.
But, okay.
So, since he's a robot and robots move slower because of the cold, I think I should have an extra.
But he's also on fire.
So.
No, no, he's not.
He could be.
He's not.
I'm telling you, he's not.
He is frozen.
And.
I think that's what happens.
Oh, my God.
Robots hate.
Okay, roll.
Roll one.
One d8.
That guy we talked to already die.
Oh, boy.
You leave.
All right.
Then, as soon as you do that, you lose your invisibility.
Oh, come on.
As soon as you cast a spell, you lose your invisibility.
Is that true?
Yes.
What was that invisibility doing you anyway?
Keeping me safe.
For how long?
I'm going to remember this.
I'm going invisible next time.
I'm not helping.
I'm so mad.
At me?
At such pain as bullshit.
No, I'm mad at my magic.
I don't even believe in magic.
I'm mad at my magic.
It's so stupid and the rules are so dumb.
This game is stupid.
Yeah, well.
I cast fire.
Oh, piggy wiggle.
Piggy wiggle butt takes out.
He's at that table full.
Or with that guy that was asking.
Your questions.
The wiggle butt.
They're talking.
Talking to you.
He's the.
Orc.
Oh.
I'm sure he'll do okay.
Over here.
And he kills like.
I don't know.
This guy's cousin or something.
All right.
His cousin.
Oh, because we can tell because of the resemblance.
Yeah.
Okay.
So after you're just getting blasted with a ray of frost.
Namaste Toad attacks.
Who?
No.
Leave me alone.
He's invisible.
Trying to hide behind something and pretend to be invisible.
Fire.
What's your AC.
Uh.
12.
I think they're upgraded.
Yeah.
I think it's 15.
Yeah.
So it does not hit you.
Yay!
It is.
Tiger's turn.
17 AC.
That's pretty cool.
Uh.
No.
I don't think it's 17.
I think it's 15.
Can I more fire?
Uh.
I have 12 plus 5 on my notes from the 25th.
So.
12 plus 5.
Oh.
I don't right here.
For my armor class.
I'm just saying.
If you want to make it 15.
I don't care that much.
I'm just letting you know that.
I don't think it's plus 5.
17 seems really high.
I don't.
I don't care that much.
If you want to lower it.
I think.
I think 15 is.
Uh.
As birds should be at.
Yeah.
Well I think it's bullshit.
What are you going to do with more fire?
I don't know.
I don't even know what that means.
Uh.
I will shoot an arrow.
Okay.
Into Jerry.
No.
Into uh.
The.
You can.
Yeah.
I know I can.
I can do anything.
I'm going to shoot.
I'm going to shoot the.
Oh man.
I can't remember.
Oh the bear.
Billy big.
Billy the bed.
Bed bear.
Billy beaver.
Bear.
Okay.
Uh.
16.
Okay.
That hits.
So roll your d10.
Plus three.
Surely.
It is dead.
He just looks really pissed off now.
He was really pissed off before.
Right.
Do so.
Layla the lizard.
Is standing on the side of the booth.
The top is open because he never completed it.
Okay.
I know.
You keep telling me that.
It is on fire as well.
No.
The fire was pushed away.
This is a raging.
Inferno.
Of.
Protection.
Layla the wizard.
Reaches down.
And takes a.
Swipe at.
Jerry.
No.
But since it's behind like a covering.
It's going to have disadvantage.
Yes.
Yeah.
There's the fire protection for you.
You can thank me later.
Oh.
You got lucky.
So.
The first hit does not.
Happen.
Or.
Because it's.
With disadvantage.
So.
The 10 does not hit you.
That's because I'm so.
Agile.
And.
Swift.
Invisible.
Told you.
And what?
You're visible.
Remember?
Oh yeah.
No.
I thought you said I was invisible.
I was like.
I'm so fast.
I'm almost invisible.
You can't see me.
I mean.
It's just like.
All right.
Buster the bear starts walking to the other side of the.
Of the booth.
That you guys are at.
But does not get there.
This is going great.
The owl bear.
Sorry.
Billy Beaver takes a swing at.
Summer.
Wait.
That's me.
Yes.
What's he so pissed off about?
I assume.
10 does not hit your AC.
He doesn't have a.
He doesn't have a plus or anything?
Maybe we'll become the.
No.
My AC is 4.
The robot.
Like we did last time we died.
Oh.
We came back as the.
The bizarros.
Yeah.
So maybe we'll just come back as robots this time.
Who knows?
You're right.
No.
We should.
What?
No additional.
Okay.
So my.
No.
It does not hit.
Great.
Okay.
Excellent.
Good job armor.
Boo.
Your turn.
Ray of frost.
At everything.
It can only hit one.
One creature.
All right.
It's going to hit the one creature.
Hit last time.
Tommy T.
Toad.
Yeah.
Tommy T.
Bode.
Chode.
One D20.
That does not hit.
Plus six.
It's plus six.
Probably.
No.
It doesn't get anything.
Plus seven.
No.
Your ray of frost just.
Spits out a snowball.
And it.
Melts with the fire.
That's going on around it.
The more I think about it.
The more.
I think that.
That fire.
May have been a bad idea.
I wish I had fireball.
You would become insufferable.
If you had fireball.
So then.
Now.
It.
Is.
Piggy.
Uh.
Piggy wiggle butt.
And.
He.
Attacks.
The wife of that guy.
That.
You were talking to.
Oh man.
And kills her.
He's just slaughtering his entire family in front of him.
Oh.
It escalated pretty quickly from distant cousin to wife.
Yeah.
Um.
Who's the old.
Oh yeah.
Tommy Tito attacks.
Attacks.
Uh.
Who?
No.
I told you not to use ray of frost.
I have nothing else.
All right.
I assume that does not hit.
Would you like a sword?
I'd like to die already.
Tiger.
Yeah.
What?
Your turn.
All right.
I will shoot my wad.
At the beaver.
Okay.
All right.
Well.
That's not good.
No.
It is not.
Uh.
As you.
And.
Because it is a.
A critical failure.
Yeah.
Crit.
You.
When you shoot.
You fall down.
On your back.
With your head.
Towards.
The beaver.
Should I fall on the beaver?
No.
Just right in front of it.
Oh.
Can I.
Give my sword.
To Jerry.
No.
You're on the ground.
Okay.
You already used your turn.
Jerry.
I have a sword.
You should take it from me.
It's not my turn.
I always wanted you to have it.
I will take it.
And.
In.
Like three or four turns.
I know you're going to do Ray of Frost again.
I'm going to Ray of Frost the sword.
And see if that helps.
It's not going to help.
It helps in video games.
Does it?
Okay.
So the ghoul took.
Another swipe at.
Boo.
But did not hit.
Ha.
Because I'm so clever.
And swift.
And wily.
And then.
And I am very wily.
And Buster the bear.
Finish.
Finishes.
Surrounding the other side of the.
All right.
So what you're saying is.
Where.
We do have money.
I have a Fabergé spider.
Give them the.
Fabergé.
What?
No.
I have it written down here specifically.
It says plus dead spider.
In parentheses.
Fabergé.
I think we were just joking about that.
I know.
I never joke about this.
I don't even know what that means.
Fabergé.
The dead.
The dead spider.
Is made of Fabergé.
Was worth a lot of money.
But we were joking that it was made out of.
It was Fabergé.
So it's worth a lot of money.
Worth a lot of money.
Yeah.
Okay.
I don't really care if it's Fabergé.
Because that would make it fragile.
I think that's what Fabergé means.
Fabergé.
Fragé.
Quick.
Offer him a spider.
I don't have any spiders.
You're the one who has spiders.
I have nothing.
I am going to sleep now.
Oh my God.
Please wake me up when this is over.
And I'm dead.
Oh that one was a 20.
That was a critical hit.
Yeah.
Why were you rolling with disadvantage?
No.
He was rolling with advantage.
Yeah.
That's worse.
That's not lucky.
That's the opposite of lucky.
So he pounces on you.
And starts licking me.
Let's see.
Like a puppy.
He was.
It was going great.
This is how I always wanted to die.
Underneath a table.
In a bar named Shenanigans.
So you take seven plus five.
You take 12 damage.
All right.
So I'm.
Oh it is your turn.
Should I do summer?
Take my sword.
Can I take his sword?
Sure.
It's strapped to my bag.
I take his sword and I swing it wildly.
Because I don't know what I'm doing.
Don't tell her that.
Well that should give me an advantage.
No.
It definitely does not give you an advantage.
It's luck.
I have.
It's dumb luck.
It's like this is what happens in these things.
Where I all of a sudden just by blindly swinging this thing around.
And then I win.
But of course now that I've said something.
Beginner's luck.
Yeah.
Beginner's luck.
That's what they call it.
Yeah.
You have to give me beginner's luck.
It's the law.
Just tell me what the roll.
To be your d20.
The attack bonus is four.
Now if he doesn't know how to use it.
It's supposed to.
Really?
So it's eight.
It doesn't hit.
Fuck.
It is.
Who is that?
Summer.
I think I need a butt.
Good evening.
Yeah.
But you swung wildly.
I saw it.
You did.
It was disgusting.
Piggy.
Piggy Wigglebutt.
Decides to attack this guy's son.
And kill him.
Wow.
That's.
That's quite an escalation.
Yes.
Yeah.
We were doing so well before.
No.
I mean.
His family is being decimated in front of him.
He's got a family.
Damn it.
He has a family.
That's the first time he's seen him die.
Oh.
So he's bored.
I guess.
So he's handling it well.
I mean.
In a way.
We're immortal.
Yeah.
But dying really hurts.
Yeah.
But.
Not existing hurts more.
I don't know if you.
I don't know if that's true.
That's true.
We're getting way beyond this game.
With that kind of conversation.
man.
So the ogre.
Or not the ogre.
Oh.
Tommy T.
Toad.
He uses his webby hands.
And he hits you.
Because it's plus six.
Oh.
So it'd be 17.
And it is.
Does it make a really funny slapping sound?
Like a slipping sound?
It does.
It makes it really.
So it's two plus.
15.
Oh.
Six damage.
Okay.
Tiger.
Your turn.
All right.
Uh.
Yeah.
I will shoot at.
The beaver.
Because I'm mad at him.
You are prone.
The beaver.
What are my.
What are my options?
I mean.
I guess you can shoot.
Try to shoot from the ground.
But you're going to do it at disadvantage.
Well.
Can I get up and shoot?
You can.
Yeah.
I think you can get up and shoot.
I feel like you have a.
You can move and.
You have a maneuver and an action.
But.
Yeah.
That's also Star Wars.
So I don't know if it's the same or not.
I think you can.
All right.
Well I'm going to do it.
Before you have a chance to look it up.
Okay.
It's not like this is going to.
Wildly shift the balance in my favor.
Or does it?
Yeah.
The beaver explodes.
No one deep time.
That beaver better explode.
All over this place.
Zero.
Nice.
13.
I thought the same thing.
And then I realized.
Nope.
That's a 10.
All right.
Great.
So the beaver.
It explodes in a fine mist of red and fire.
No.
He's still alive.
He's still alive?
After 13 damage?
After already hitting him twice?
Yes.
All right.
I'm just going to lay down.
Welcome.
I have a shirt.
And a blanket.
If I lay down flat enough.
I hope they think I'm a rug.
All right.
So the ghoul reaches over.
Or it swipes at cure.
Oh my god.
Torcure.
16.
So that does hit your.
Hit you.
But very softly.
Like barely even a touch.
Yes.
Because he was.
Because I was perfectly hidden as a.
And still.
As a blanket.
Oh.
See.
I'm not the only one that does it.
No.
Except I'm the first one to.
But.
A question mark.
Which.
Actually.
I think by the rules.
Negates it.
And now.
We get bonus.
Points.
Eight damage.
Two.
Here is.
Dead.
Yeah.
Dead.
Yes.
Wait.
Is he dead?
Yeah.
I thought he had.
Four.
I thought he had a lot higher health.
You had 14.
And then you got hit last time.
Or.
Oh yeah.
Or something.
And that last one brought you down to.
Zero.
I died.
So now it is the.
Old bots.
Died of bots.
So the buster bear.
Let's see.
It's going to hit summer with this.
His banjo.
Yeah.
But does he know I'm laying down?
But you're not.
No I'm not.
I'm standing defiantly.
Proudly.
You're so brave.
15 hit your AC.
I'm so dead.
Well.
It says 14.
But you said that.
Boo had plussed up.
I don't.
I think.
I don't have a note.
Oh wait.
I got you on 15 too.
You have me on 15?
Yeah.
I would think that mine is higher though.
Because it was higher before.
Let's see.
15.
I'm trying to see if I have a note here.
Let's look.
When I told Boo this was 15.
I was looking at your sheet.
Always leave a note.
That's why you always leave a note.
I'm trying to see if I got.
Always leave a note.
I don't have any notes of it.
I would think my digital.
Character sheet would have it in there.
I was trying to keep that up.
Here.
Level three.
Also I'm a level three.
You said I was level two earlier.
Yeah I did.
So I should have.
Had one extra.
You were pretty much maxed up.
No I was actually.
I think you were one shot.
Yeah.
I've got your armor class written down as 14.
Alright.
Well.
It's 14 then.
Because.
If I really.
Was paying attention.
Then I wouldn't.
I would know better.
So.
You wouldn't be so ornery.
Yeah.
So.
It hits you then right?
Yeah.
Okay.
So.
Yeah.
Two.
Yeah.
I'm so dead.
And I'm loving it.
Just like the movie.
I think.
It's incredibly painful.
So.
From what I've heard.
I'm already dead.
It doesn't matter.
So you are down to three health then.
No.
Yeah.
No.
Because.
No.
Because plus six.
I was at 24.
Okay.
Minus 12.
I was at 12.
Minus seven.
Oh.
It's not.
Minus nine.
It's nine.
Oh.
I didn't see the plus two.
Okay.
Yeah.
So three.
So you're at three.
All right.
That was the.
So the.
Now it's the owlbear's turn.
Or not the owlbear.
It was at the beaver.
Oh.
The beaver.
My bestest friend in the whole world.
Yes.
Wait.
Oh.
So we went back.
We were already up at the top.
Yeah.
I.
You went.
To stand up and shoot.
Right.
And then it was the other person's turn.
Oh.
I was thinking it was Boo's turn when he died.
But obviously.
No.
He just died.
You can die in anyone's turn.
Yeah.
You do not have to wait for your turn to meet your demise.
All right.
Okay.
Can I go.
So the owlbear decides to.
Not the owlbear.
Billy beaver.
Decides to attack you.
Hug me.
With love.
His giant.
Teeth.
Okay.
That is a 20.
So I assume that hits.
Well.
Yeah.
That is 13.
That's higher than three.
It is.
You are both dead.
And loving it.
I'm not loving it.
And then all of a sudden you guys wake up.
And you had just re-entered.
Or you had just entered the.
The restaurant.
But now at least.
I get appetizers.
Or we have 12 hours.
We.
You have 12 hours to prepare.
Can.
I.
If you would like to stop it there.
And maybe we can.
You can talk about what your plans are.
What can we do?
I'm going to be completely honest.
I have no idea what we could do.
I mean.
I tried everything.
Me too.
Oh.
You tried turning invisible.
And that was it.
That's.
I mean.
We tried.
To be fair.
I went in with like.
No.
No other magic.
You know.
I had nothing else I could use.
And I already tried running away once.
I mean.
What else was I supposed to do?
And his spells are all gone now?
All right.
Well.
This is.
This is what I'll do.
So you wake up.
From dying.
And it's all a bad dream.
Completely refreshed.
So it's like you had just taken a long nap.
Cool.
We can do that.
Okay.
All right.
So that.
That helps.
In one way.
Although I started with 24 before.
Well.
I mean.
I don't.
I don't want to.
Like.
Cheat the game too much.
But.
Like.
Obviously.
It did not seem like those animatronics.
Were interested in talking to us at all.
There was like no way around it from that.
No.
There is.
This is straight up just a battle.
Yes.
Okay.
And.
Doing the fortifications didn't seem to help.
In the slightest.
It.
Kind of did.
It gave us one extra turn.
Maybe.
Yes.
But.
You have a whole restaurant.
To try to do something in these 12 hours.
Okay.
Well.
I say we.
Gather up the people.
And the pebbles.
And we make a good fight for it.
They did not seem to be interested in.
Working with us either.
They kind of shoot us away.
Well.
We only had two hours.
You didn't really try talking to them.
That's.
We only had two hours.
You.
You didn't try convincing them.
To help you fight.
I mean.
I thought.
We brought it up.
I.
I thought.
I said.
Hey.
Are you guys interested in doing some sort of training montage?
Well.
Yeah.
But you only had two hours.
He's right.
You could have been fucked.
Well.
That's true.
But they.
Didn't seem interested.
Well.
I mean.
The guy had to get back to his family.
Yeah.
And what did that do for him?
Well.
It ended up in the same place as you did.
All right.
But just think.
You have a whole restaurant.
Yeah.
And people.
Although they.
Just.
They just.
Died.
They weren't putting up a fight.
Okay.
Well.
I figured it out.
Um.
Yeah.
I said.
We unite the peoples.
And attack.
With everything we've got.
And do I get all my magic back?
Yeah.
It's like a long rest.
Okay.
Cool.
Do I get all my arrows back?
Yeah.
It's like a long rest.
Yeah.
But.
Those don't give you arrows back.
Shut up.
What are you doing?
No.
So.
He would have did it.
You have been shooting a lot of arrows.
Well.
I mean.
I lost four arrows in that last battle.
I lost.
Four.
Arrows in the battle before the last.
And I just.
I think we agreed that I had ten arrows remaining.
Last session.
Okay.
So yeah.
You got ten.
All right.
So.
Boo.
You said use whatever you got.
Right?
For what?
You said unite all the people and use whatever we got.
Yes.
What do you got?
Chairs.
Okay.
Tables.
Yes.
Beer.
Can we dump beer on them?
Maybe.
All right.
Let's see.
Now we're getting some.
Dump beer on everybody.
It's not a frat party.
Maybe that's why we lost.
Because we're not treating it like a frat party.
Well.
Just think.
What do restaurants have?
Fire.
Right.
Fire.
Okay.
Knives.
Okay.
Um.
Glass.
Okay.
That's it.
Knives.
Fire and glass.
That's all a restaurant is to you.
I mean.
What?
Uh.
Well.
They don't have food.
Well.
What would you do with food?
Well.
If they don't have food.
Then I guess they don't have.
Like.
Oil.
I mean.
It's a restaurant.
Why wouldn't they?
Well.
Why wouldn't they have food?
So I guess we'd have to find out.
Whether or not they have oil.
Okay.
So that's something you can do.
Deep fry.
Stuff.
Deep fry.
Those motherfuckers.
Deep fry the knives and glass.
Yeah.
Yes.
Knives.
This is.
Deep fry beer.
Uh.
Toilets.
Okay.
Electricity.
Yes.
Robots hate electricity.
Well.
They also love it.
They're pure.
Electricity.
Yeah.
But.
That's what they.
That's what they run on.
We don't know that.
There was no wires.
Okay.
Uh.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
I asked.
But they didn't say anything.
Perhaps they didn't hear me.
Um.
But you see.
You see what I'm getting at.
Right?
No.
What am I supposed to do with firing glass?
And.
And oil.
And families.
It's like this.
There's a sketch with the.
That guy.
Uh.
Pete Holmes.
And he does like a.
Where he's like.
Uh.
Professor X.
And he's firing all the X-Men.
And he's yelling at Wolverine.
He's like.
Listen.
Our main enemy.
Is a man who controls metal.
What is.
What are you made out of?
What is your bone made out of?
He's like.
Metal.
It's like.
Do you see the problem here?
He's like.
Well I can just ride at him.
With my motorcycle.
And he's like.
Right.
What's the motorcycle made out of?
Tubes.
Glass.
I think it's.
What's going on here?
In this bar.
Glass.
And fire.
What can we do to.
Make something out of this?
Neon.
No neon.
Okay.
Flare.
Oh.
That kind of flare.
Not like a flare gun flare.
No.
No like.
What do they call it in.
Office.
Or office space.
Thought it was flare.
I don't remember.
Flare.
Yeah.
Because her.
Bits of flare.
Suspenders didn't have enough flare.
She was in the wrong.
Yeah.
She had one button.
Yeah.
You know.
That's not enough.
She was a friend.
She's got a show.
What?
She was a friend.
The actress was a friend.
Yeah.
She was one of the friends.
She was.
All right.
So then we're going to have to think about.
How to build some sort of.
Adversarial robot.
Out of glass.
Knives.
And oil.
Okay.
And chairs.
We have chairs.
Don't forget.
We have chairs.
And toilets.
We're going to build ourselves.
Our own robot.
With blackjack.
And hookers.
So how long are we going to spend napping?
You just.
You feel like you just woke up refreshed.
I felt like the best sleep we've ever had.
Maybe.
Yes.
Because we should die again.
You were dead.
So.
So in a way.
We live forever.
No.
It was.
It was very painful.
Yeah.
But it's kind of like having your back cracked.
Right.
It like hurts a lot.
But it feels really good after.
Yeah.
But it still hurts a lot.
The whole time you're dying.
But I feel like a.
Fresh babe now.
Okay.
All right.
Talking about.
I'm reborn.
Like a fresh babe.
It's short for baby.
It's the same.
Length.
That's so fucking funny.
Oh.
Thank you.