Welcome to you, John Fort.
It's awfully devoid of junk.
It's made of junk.
This is less junk, more fort.
All of our junk was used to make the fort, dude.
Oh, so the junk talks about what the fort is made of?
The junk, it ties the room together, literally.
Oh, I need my fucking notebook.
I need my notes.
By the lack of a cozy fire, we got some housekeeping to do.
So you guys, congratulations.
You survived.
Really?
I feel like you did pretty good.
Yeah, you know, it was our first time out.
Well, you did great.
So now you're a crew.
So you guys get to upgrade some shit.
You ready?
Would you say we scored?
I would say you guys.
Yeah, we scored.
Okay, so first off, you guys can add one plus one to every prowess action that you have.
Prowess?
Prowess, yeah.
So if you look at like the actions, they're categorized.
ones like insight, prowess, resolve.
You can add one to any that are under prowess.
So I still have that circle?
Yep.
Pick one.
Doesn't matter.
Oh, under prowess.
Okay, I see.
I'll add.
Yeah, and you don't have to pick one.
Every single one.
Just one.
Oh, just one?
Just one.
Oh, man.
I don't know what I should say.
Should we coordinate?
Yes, we're all getting wrecked.
You're just going to be a bunch of bullies.
Adding.
I'm going with wrecked.
Getting wrecked over here.
How many wrecked do you have?
I have two.
I have nothing.
So I have to add wrecked.
I mean, you don't have to.
I did.
There's a point in the episode last week where I was like,
Boo, should I throw this powder at the ghost?
He said, well, you already did it.
I was like, oh.
All right, I'm going to take finesse then.
All right.
What's skirmish again?
Skirmish is like fighting close up.
Oh, okay.
What's wrecked again, just so I'm clear?
Wrecked is more just like going in and smashing shit up.
Like with no care.
There's no skill.
It's just I'm going to just cause destruction.
Like when I flipped the table last week.
Yeah.
So like skirmish would be great if you're like in hand-to-hand combat.
Wrecked is good if you just want to like bust through the wall like the Kool-Aid man.
All right.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, wait.
No, that's the macho man.
Oh, yeah.
I bet he got wrecked too.
Oh, yeah.
When you hit that tree.
That's how he died.
All right.
That's how he died?
Yeah.
He had a heart attack while he was driving his Jeep and he crashed into a tree.
The Kool-Aid man?
No, the Kool-Aid man famously was not a person.
I took finesse.
Wait.
I took finesse.
I know, but I was just trying to think of a little bit of coordination, but that's fine, Andy, if you want to be selfish.
Well, skirmish as a hunter, as a hound, I shouldn't really be in hand-to-hand combat.
Let me add this on there before you guys get too like dead set.
You also get to add one to Prowl, Finesse, and Tinker or Tinker.
One of those three.
Oh.
And you can have a maximum of three in that row.
So if you already have three Tinker, you can't add another Tinker.
You have to pick one of the other ones.
So maybe that'll go into your consideration.
All right.
What?
So we get two pluses, one to Prowl us and one to...
Prowl, Finesse, or Tinker.
I guess I'll take Prowl then.
What's Finesse again?
Finesse is like being able to do things easily with your hands, but not in like a mechanical way.
Like lockpicking.
Not lockpicking.
Like pickpocketing.
Oh, I'm going to...
Yeah, I'll do that one.
There you go.
Got it.
I'm going to instead take two Prowl.
I'll be a Prowler.
You'll be a little Prowler.
The night Prowler.
He sleeps in the day.
Night Prowler.
His name is really gay.
Hey, we don't say that anymore.
Fair.
We're learning so much together.
I was a pirate.
I was just telling Bridget earlier today how much I've learned from Sarn Turbo.
Yeah, his whole understanding of like the gender spectrum comes from Sarn, so...
That's good.
I'm glad Sarn Turbo can help you.
All right, so...
Your other upgrades, your lair is hidden, so nobody can find it that easy, which is nice in case you ever were attacked.
But that wouldn't happen.
Never.
You also get...
A foreshadow or a threat?
Yes.
And then you get to pick one of the following, so I'm just going to kind of go through them.
Ghost Echoes, you get to see the occults better.
You would be able to interact with them at a higher...
With a better advantage.
You can steal stuff.
You get an extra bonus when you roll to acquire an asset, so if you wanted to buy something, you get a little boost there.
Better engagement roll.
You know what?
I'll take a picture of this and send it to you guys, because you probably do want to look at this.
So we'll figure that out next time.
What's it called?
What is this?
So your crew gets another special ability.
You've already picked one.
Oh, nice.
What's a special ability?
Your special ability was to get an extra prowl, finesse, or tinker.
Oh.
That's when you guys had picked earlier.
Yes, I remember that entirely.
Yes.
I remember that decision making it very coherently.
I forgot.
I can just take a picture of it now.
Anyway, other things that you get, because you guys were such great characters, you all get eight XP.
Yay.
Do they matter?
So I think with the XP, it just goes in a row, right?
Like, once you just add on there to your XP.
Where is that?
If you open your character sheet?
Mm-hmm.
Well, I don't know if I can open one.
There should be a spot on there for your XP that you can click.
Hold on.
Let me pull this up.
I don't have one, so it's hard for me to see.
Where is it at on the sheet?
I don't see it on the sheet either.
I don't see it.
Oh, I should add.
Where do you put your XP?
Hold on.
There should be a spot to put it, and I'm not seeing it.
I'm going to pull this out.
There's background.
Is one of these...
Is it...
Is it these little squares under stash?
No, because that controls your, um...
Like, how much money you have.
Stash.
Because there's...
Oh, okay.
Because I wasn't sure if this coin is...
Or these four cubes are squares for...
No, that's something else.
I don't know what these things are.
I don't...
So the plan...
I don't even know how I have these goggles.
You have four coin on you.
Okay.
And then when you, um...
All together, we have four.
Right.
Like, as a group, you have four.
But, like, individually, you can own some as well.
But you can only have four on you at a time.
So the rest of it goes in your stash.
Oh.
It's like a bank account.
I get...
Yeah.
Yeah, it is a bank account.
Who knew?
That's what we were playing.
Bank accounts.
Oh, man.
Fill up an XP track.
Are you sure it's not these...
Oh, this is all...
No, you're right.
Hold on.
I'm going to abandon ship for a second.
I'm going to go look at Brandon's.
Oh, God.
Look at Brandon's what?
My dream.
I don't see it anywhere.
That's so weird.
Is this your stress?
My stress is up here.
Oh, shit.
I forgot my screen is touchable.
Weird.
Is this it right here by your abilities?
I don't know.
Is it?
No, because if we're getting eight XP, then that would fill it up.
And that wouldn't make sense.
Yeah, no.
That's fine.
You guys are going to go up a level.
That's the point.
Yeah, but one is quite...
Okay.
So, yeah.
Do you see where it says abilities?
And then there's those hash marks?
Yeah.
If you click on those, that's your XP.
Oh, you don't say.
So, we just fill all those in?
Yeah.
Does it even matter?
So, you would fill in eight.
Does it even matter since we're just jumping up a level, though?
She's gone.
Yeah.
And just like that, she was gone.
That's great.
Was she even here?
Yeah.
So, it's that area under your abilities.
Yeah.
So, you guys are going up a level because you completed a major mission.
Okay.
Which basically just gives you an extra point if you want to put it somewhere.
So, you can either get, you know, any one of your action roles.
If you want to get another special ability, you can do that, too.
Oh, we can do another special ability.
Yeah.
Oh, jeez.
I hear what they're talking about on that audio track.
He says, oh, my God, I don't want to die.
I have mercy.
Why did I last?
All right.
I'm going to pick Alchemist.
Pop goes a weasel.
This makes me want to go to a poob.
A poob?
What?
This makes me want to go to a poob.
Pube?
A poob.
All right.
Y'all pick something?
An extra action point or an extra ability?
I don't know.
Um, action point.
I am going to do Tempest.
Okay.
What's Tempest?
You can push yourself to do the one of the following.
Unleash a stroke of lightning as a weapon or summon a storm in your immediate vicinity.
Torrential rain, roaring winds, heavy fog, chilling frost as snow, etc.
Yeah.
Chilling frost.
No fireball?
Not yet.
No, he's a frost man.
He's always been a frost man.
He's a frost man.
Ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding.
I think I'm going to do Scout.
Scout?
Yes.
Scout.
I have them here somewhere.
Oh, man.
I don't see it on the, uh, the list.
The list.
It's underneath, well, obviously a hound.
I'm a hound dog.
Oh, okay.
I got it.
Oh, you just added it.
Or somebody did.
What was your ability from before?
Mountie's tough as nails.
No, booze.
Because right now it says it's Tempest.
I'm looking for compel right now.
Should be.
There it is.
Okay.
I didn't realize that that's what the, like, the h in front of it stood for.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Mine has Ellie.
Yeah, they're all coded by their names.
You can attune to the ghost field.
To force a nearby ghost to appear in a bay of command.
Yeah.
Sounds like slavery with more steps.
Well, you know.
Yeah, they have to be dead first.
With one of the steps being death.
I mean, he's already dead.
Oh.
Okay.
That makes sense.
Oh.
What is that from?
What?
Rick and Morty.
Slavery with more steps.
Is that what you're talking about?
Yeah.
It's the glueable box.
Yeah.
Charges battery.
Yeah.
Cute.
Right.
So, you guys had a, that was great.
Good job, everybody.
You now have better, better skin.
You guys, so you, Baz gave you four coin.
You guys had two coin to start with.
So, you got six now.
You can only hold four.
So, you got two.
You got to do something with.
Yeah, I'm going to spend it.
Sure.
You can do that.
If you want to buy something, you can buy an upgrade or, like, to your lair.
If you want, like, a boat or something.
Did you say a boat?
Where the hell are we going to put a boat?
We are over.
You know, I've been thinking about this for a while, guys.
I think we have been severely lacking in our boat department.
As a man of the sea, I have to agree with the lady here.
As a sea man?
As a sea man.
As a man of the sea.
What are we going to do?
Are we just going to have, like, a pole?
Like a, like a five-minute pole?
Or, like, a rope we slide down into the boat?
I'll be honest.
I thought when you say, like, upgrades to our, you know, like, you know, wallpaper, maybe some plumbing, a boat.
Maybe a suit of armor.
You know, a walking robot made of bathroom parts.
Yes, or a fish tank?
A fish tank.
We do need a fish tank in our junk fort across this precarious precipice between two buildings.
Oh, yeah.
I wouldn't want to fall in that dirty water.
Right.
You're the perfect spot for an escape chute.
That's not a poop chute.
You can have some on the piping, like, grabbing the clothing lines.
And you just have one pair of underwear that are white with red polka dots.
They're hearts.
Thank you.
You know.
And it's made out of silk.
Or silk-like substance.
The finest parachute.
You guys going for a boat?
Other things you can do?
No.
Quit trying to push the boat on us.
Who wants a boat?
How many boats do you want?
You guys can have...
You can secure your lair if you want.
Make it a little bit better prepared.
Your junk fort, you know, really defensive.
You can get a carriage.
You can add to your vault, which allows you to have more money at one time.
Workshop.
You can upgrade your documents here.
Implement supplies.
Tools.
Weapons.
So, we can't have wallpaper.
You can't have wallpaper.
You can split the money up between yourselves, too.
I say we just split it up.
I got things and places to go.
Yeah.
What?
I mean...
I...
Listen...
Maybe a workshop would be cool.
Listen, if we're not getting a boat, I would like to have some money to go my own way to drink.
To buy a boat?
To know, to go drink.
I mean, to go, you know, look at books.
Find literature.
You can't read.
I can read?
What do you mean I can't read?
I just assume.
It's one of my primary interests.
You're a pirate.
I'm in a...
It doesn't mean I'm not a...
I'm not a...
What's it called?
Intelligent.
Smart.
My vice is luxury and pleasure.
That means...
That's a lot of wiggle room.
And I think...
Reading doesn't fit either of those.
You guys can...
If you like, you can get two free loads to carry around.
I don't want two free boats.
Or you can get some, like, little fighters to fight for you.
If you like, a little gang of your own.
Like lackeys?
Or you can get an extra stress box.
And we can buy those?
Yeah.
If you want.
For two coin.
Oh.
Wait.
So is it two coin for each of us?
It would be two coin.
And then you all would get one.
Oh, okay.
I like that.
I would like to...
I'd like to add something to our fort, but I don't know what.
Or I haven't decided, I guess.
Is it because you're scared?
Yes.
It's because I'm scared.
Well, workshop's not a big deal.
You, being more brave, would you please help me?
Sorry.
There's a spider over here.
Yeah.
He's making my shorts.
I don't know.
Whatever you guys want to do.
It's too much decisions for one man, one pirate.
I spoke my piece.
I either want my money or I want a boat.
Or wallpaper.
Well, what if we do this?
What if we each take one and then we put one in the stash?
All right.
That way we can save up.
That's great.
That's a great idea.
Okay.
I'll go with that one.
So what are you doing?
We each get one coin and then we put one in the stash.
That we can use for upgrading.
So you're all getting one coin.
You're splitting your coins up between the three of you.
I see.
Okay.
So everyone's got one coin and then one in the stash.
I get it.
A bird in hand is worth two in the bush.
And how much would like a...
Like Junkles was saying.
Like to get like a workshop or a work table.
For a work table, it would definitely be...
It would be one.
Looking at this.
A workshop would be like one.
Something like a boat is going to be two.
If you want better stuff, that's like one coin.
But currently we have no stuff.
No, you have no stuff.
Including fire.
No, I mean...
By stuff, I mean like your weapons.
Like if you wanted your weapons to have great utility.
Sorry.
If you wanted your tools to be better.
If you wanted your supplies to be better.
You can add...
It would be one coin.
For yours specifically.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Sorry, my camera keeps freezing.
So I'm not quite sure if you're just shocked or...
Mild shock.
In other news, you did draw the attention of the crowd.
Well, not of the crowd.
But of the people of Crow's Foot.
I have one special little chubby boy.
You're the little chubby boy.
You're the hero to little Pritchards everywhere.
You know, the police heard about what happened.
The iron...
The red sashes obviously know that something happened.
They suspect you.
Since you guys are the new guys in town.
And now Bath seems awfully fond of you.
But nobody can, you know, tell for sure.
But you guys did gain two heat.
Which means that people are now aware of you.
You got a reputation.
Yeah.
Cred.
And the Junk Boys is our game name.
Well, no.
It's just a placeholder.
It's just...
It's just a placeholder.
You know, until things work out.
Until something comes to us.
I say we call ourselves the Junk Jard Boys.
We're not really a yard, though.
The Junk Box Heroes.
Junk Box Heroes.
Heroes.
Oh, I'm going to have to change the song now.
Are we heroes, though?
From a certain point of view.
We're zeros.
So maybe Junk Box Heroes.
Still works.
Still works the rhyme.
All right.
Great.
Well, you guys decide you're going to spend...
Your first night is approved in the downtrodden toad, which is the bar conveniently down the street from your little fort.
All right.
Can I ask for a point of clarification?
Yes.
When you say down the street, do you mean lower?
Or do you mean...
I mean, not like...
Well, lower.
Like under us.
Okay.
It's like a block or two over.
Okay.
It's within walking.
It's not like if you call, you're in a lane.
It's lower down and lower map-wise, is what you're saying.
Yes.
It is located within walking.
The answer is yes to both.
Low and low.
And we're about to get lower.
Let's go.
And while you're there, you notice that there's the man behind the counter, the bartender.
He's a very portly man with a big smile.
His name is Ribney.
He's the bartender.
He's the owner of the downtrodden toad.
He is the downtrodden toad.
But he's always got a smile on his face.
And, you know, he's taken somewhat of a liking to you.
He's a pretty pleasant guy.
But this is his bar.
So, you know, treat it well, he would ask.
And while you're there, there's music.
Yeah?
Aye.
Your boys look like you're new.
Let's go get a drink.
Do you think they have holy water?
They don't.
They serve the best ale that, you know, cheap money can buy.
No holy water?
No.
I mean, we can bless it ourselves.
As a man of the sea, I can, as a man of the sea and a captain at that, I am able to perform marriages.
I'm sure I'm able to bless some water.
Yeah.
What's the difference?
I don't trust you.
What?
I don't trust that.
What do you want?
What do you want holy water for?
Makes me drunk?
I don't follow.
Because I have demon.
So you have to drink holy water?
Do you think they have that at the bar?
I don't know.
That's why I ask.
That's like saying I have to drink poison.
I mean, I guess alcohol.
There you go.
Barky, some holy water right now.
I should close this window.
I'm shouting.
He says with a smile.
He's like, sorry, boys.
Don't got any holy water.
But if you want, I got some less crappy beer.
I guess you could call it liquor if you'd like.
It's not too bad.
Would you rather have that?
Yes.
Fine.
I'd rather have it than nothing.
He pours you out.
Three beers.
It's a pretty, I wouldn't say clean place, but it's not some of the worst bars you've ever been to.
And as he's next to them, he kind of looks at you guys and he's like, you guys, you don't look so good.
It's been a long time.
I'm living in a box.
It's not a box.
I think it's nice.
I've lived in finer boxes than that.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, I guess.
What is a shit but a box?
It's also a home.
That ain't a home yet.
I'm telling you, we need to get wallpaper.
That's how we get the wallpaper.
They don't have wallpaper.
Well, then I'm painting it with tar.
With tar?
That's what you go to first?
All right.
I got a better idea.
Here's what we'll do.
We'll nail up carpet to the wall.
It'll insulate it for the winter.
I like that idea.
Yeah.
But let's check it for ants first.
Not in character.
This has been tested in real life.
Our references just keep piling up.
Piling and piling until we get carpet on the walls.
All right.
Well, is there any extra carpet?
Yeah.
We got to go rob some places carpet.
That's what's going to happen.
Next job we pull, we're getting carpet.
We're taking the rug.
I don't care if it ties the room together.
It's going to tie our whole box together.
Then it'll be a home.
Well, it's just a box.
All right.
Toad.
Yes.
Toad.
Do you have any carpet laying around?
No.
It's mostly a rock here.
Although I do have a rug upstairs.
But I'd rather you not take that.
If you don't mind.
Well, we're stealing it later.
You won't know when.
You won't know how.
But you'll know it's gone.
And I'm just going to say my finesse is really high right now.
I can pickpocket anything.
Just don't put that rug in your pocket.
He laughs it off.
He kind of gives you guys a good big old clap on the arm.
He says, ah, you guys are big old laugh.
Big old funny folk here.
Seriously, though, you boys look awful.
If you want, I have this sister-in-law we keep in the back room.
If you need a healing or something, just let me know.
I don't mind bringing her to you.
You just got to ask for her.
Whoa.
You're married?
Well, not anymore.
So it's the ex-sister-in-law?
You got to keep the sister-in-law?
No, we just keep her back.
I didn't say it was my wife's sister.
Oh.
You have a sibling's sister?
A sibling's wife?
All right.
Yes, yes.
Yes, we need to be healed.
Enough grilling.
More healing.
I'm currently suffering from shock.
You have a lot of shock, by the way.
I didn't want to say anything earlier, but you are shocked.
It's a good thing you're wearing that hat.
Otherwise, your hair would be on end.
I'm pretty sure my eye is itchy, too.
Yeah.
Oh, you look strung out.
All right.
Go around back.
Knock on the back door.
That's my house.
And the back door of the pub.
And just ask for Olga.
All right.
Oh, pretty.
So you guys go around the back, and you see a very clear door that's obviously, you know,
like a...
It looks like it's inside of, you know, the inside is a kitchen.
And you see somebody sitting over there.
Do you want to knock on the door or not?
It's up to you.
You can do something else if you like.
No, we need healing.
I think Captain should just bust it open because he's wrecked.
You go inside, and there's just an old blind woman.
Well, you assume she's blind.
She's just sitting there with a little dark foot over her head, and she doesn't...
She kind of sees you come in, and she's like, eh.
Are you Olga?
Can you bring us to Olga?
Huh?
Say, could I interest you in an onion?
She looks at the onion in your hand that you somehow have appeared, and she picks it up.
Uh-huh.
You taking the onion out?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
She looks at it.
Where did you get an onion from?
Don't worry about it.
I just keep it in my pockets.
For instance, it's just like this.
Not to help you cry.
Why?
Old women love onions.
That is something I've never heard before.
I find it appealing.
I'll be here all night.
Yeah, I know.
I take out a bottle of something.
You guys don't know what.
Well, we know.
Formaldehyde.
We know.
All right.
Chuckles, are you going to give her the onion?
She's going to grab it.
Oh, yeah.
No, I know.
I say, here's an onion.
Old ladies love onions.
I mean, young ladies love onions.
All right.
So for healing, depending on the quality of your healer, you roll some die, and then you
mark off how many little sections on your healing progress clock that you have on your character
sheet.
You mark that off.
Where's our character?
They're not in this yet.
How do you get them over here?
You can just drag them onto the scene.
Oh, okay.
Drag them out of the fucking scene.
There we go.
Oh, okay.
That makes a lot more sense.
Perfect.
Yeah, so she accepts your offer.
You guys can roll just one die each, and depending on how much you roll, you can fill up your
clock and then reduce one level of stress.
So if you have a level two stress, it becomes level one.
If you have a level one stress, it disappears.
Stress or harm?
I'm sorry.
Harm.
It's for harm.
She accepted our offer of one pocket onion.
One pocket onion.
How many of those do you have?
You'll know when you need to.
So everyone can just roll one die.
Like right now?
Yep.
Whenever you want.
I don't have any injuries, so I'm not going to.
Oh, perfect.
Because I got that tough as nails, so when I threw the knife and it hit me in the foot,
it didn't do anything.
Was I feel, though?
So what did you get, Brandon?
Six.
Where did you roll that from?
Oh, sorry.
Why did you say you do it?
I just went up to the dice thing and it says, let's roll some dice.
And I took the number of dice and I hit it.
Where does it say, let's roll some dice?
Right above on the left side with the seven boxes.
Oh, I see.
And the very bottom.
Yeah.
Okay.
Dice roll.
So one dice.
All right.
Notes.
All right.
What does six do?
So six clear.
It fills up your clock.
You reduce one level of stress.
Harm.
Of harm.
Sorry.
One level of harm.
And then you get two more segments on the next clock.
So I fill up my clock and then what do I do?
You can reduce one of your harm.
Stress or harm?
So what do you have?
Harm.
So I have bruised ribs and two mental shocks.
Which one's higher?
The bruised ribs is on two.
I would do a level two to knock it down to a level one personally.
But then you have three level ones.
So what do I do?
I think you have two.
So you get rid of one of your level ones.
Okay.
And then you can fill up your clock two more segments.
I already filled it up once.
How do I fill it up a second time?
If you hit the zero next to it, there's a little button next to it.
Uh-huh.
All right.
So then do it again.
Okay.
And then two or something?
Yeah.
All right.
There you go.
All right.
What does she do with the onion?
Excuse me?
She takes the onion and she starts carving it.
Like slicing off the skin, which is kind of weird.
You think she just used her little bony arms to peel it off.
But she uses a knife.
She peels the onion layer off.
And then she slowly goes to her little pan that she has roasting over a fire.
And she throws the onion in there.
And she just throws some butter in there.
And she just starts cooking.
And as she's cooking, you know, some smells of butter and onion fill the room, which, you know,
not unpleasant.
But she kind of waddles around her kitchen, getting this, getting that.
You see her pull out what looks like a slimy little eel.
And she throws that in there.
It's like the size of a leech.
Just tosses it into the pot.
And when it's all seems like it takes about 15 minutes.
And when she's done, she sets the bowls in front of you.
And you have to eat them.
Oh, is this what's healing us?
Yeah, that's what's healing you.
Also, she's a little old lady.
And she just made you a nice little stew for free.
I've eaten weirder things.
I dig right in.
I've had eel before.
I don't eat it.
Why?
You don't eat it.
Just eat it.
I don't have to eat it.
Be polite.
Oh, yeah.
Just eat the damn, eat the stew, squish.
It's not about the eel.
It's about your pocket.
I didn't ask anything about anything.
Just eat it to be polite.
No.
She might be a ghost.
That's what I got to find out.
She's kind of next to you.
It goes back to where she was sitting.
Chuckles, you can roll to heal if you'd like.
Four.
Yay.
So you fill up your clock and reduce one harm.
You rolled for the captain.
Oh, I did.
You got a four last time, too.
Yeah.
It doesn't.
Oh, it doesn't matter.
It's just random.
It doesn't.
No, it's not based on any sort of action.
All right.
So my electrical harm went from two to one.
There you go.
Ah.
All right.
You guys are all healed up.
If you want to go to the restaurant.
If you want to train and gain some XP, you can do that.
You can gain an asset if you'd like.
Squish, you have two available to you.
Is there something you would like to do while you're here in some free time?
Yeah.
I'm going to go to the restaurant to work a shift to get some of my stress down.
Well, it's not really working a shift.
It's more of like going in there and talking to the head chef whose name I have written somewhere.
Do you two want to go with?
All right.
I've got nothing better to do.
Maybe I'll find a store along the way.
I go to the golden plum.
I'm going to sneak away.
Just talk with Shepard's out.
Oh.
Sneaky.
And just quietly wait my turn.
Oh, she looks angry.
She is angry.
That's a pretty nice restaurant.
Six times.
Is it happening?
Does it look like the one you work at now?
No.
Oh, yeah.
I'm not there.
So the road to the golden plum is a little treacherous.
You walk through six towers.
It's a neighborhood that's been eerily abandoned for the most part.
There are still people there.
But there's just wide open streets.
Lots of dark abandoned houses.
Except for on the very top of the hill as you pressed it.
One building just completely illuminated in gold.
With golden light coming through.
And you can see that all of the traffic.
All of the people in the streets.
They're all heading towards this one building.
And you go inside.
And it is a luxurious golden palace.
With velvet curtains.
Plush seats.
Crisp white tablecloths.
And it is just kind of a mix of society.
You see some people who are obviously very wealthy.
You see some middle class people.
Doing some business in the corner.
And here we are.
Walking in.
And here you are.
Walking in.
And my purple coat.
Chef Roselle does not turn down anybody.
Everyone's money is good at the golden blue.
The golden compass.
Hey.
Captain.
Yes.
Do you think those velvet curtains would make good insulation too?
I like the way you're thinking.
Keep an eye out for carpet though.
You're dead set on the carpet.
I.
Something about it really appeals to my sensibilities.
Just like that onion.
If you really want.
We'll steal the drapes later.
Okay.
Right now.
I.
I can't really pickpocket that.
All right.
So yeah.
I go.
To Roselle.
To.
To try to see if I can.
Have fun in the kitchen.
I find the table.
Sit down.
Squish.
As you walk towards the kitchen.
Kitchen.
You're kind of stopped by a butler.
Maitre d.
Who's like.
Excuse me sir.
The dining hall.
Is this way.
And he kind of leads you.
With a gloved hand.
Back to a table.
That's just appeared.
You know.
In front of you.
Open.
And you can sit down at the table.
And they get out a little napkin.
And they fluff it out.
They put it around your.
Waist.
And.
Another waiter.
Comes up with a menu.
A single page menu.
Puts it in your hand.
And then.
You have a chance to look at the menu.
Captain.
What are you doing?
I'm sitting down.
And I'm.
Putting a napkin on my lap.
Waiting for the wait.
And.
You're not on the toilet.
Are you?
No.
This is.
Serial.
No.
That's a totally different character.
Who's also.
A different character.
Also.
I break out a pipe.
And start smoking.
Because.
I have a pipe now.
Let's see.
The waiter comes by.
And says.
Have you had a chance to look at the menu.
Is there anything I can.
You know.
Anything appealing for you men.
Whiskey.
Sour.
But you have holy water.
You can get anything you want.
At the golden plume.
The plum.
Golden plum.
And.
Is that all you'd like?
For now.
The waitress.
Kind of scurries off.
And you guys are sitting there.
For a few moments.
And then.
Almost.
Within a few minutes.
She's kind of scurried back.
And she has.
A half glass.
Of whiskey sour.
And a tall glass.
Of holy water.
Wow.
I sip on the holy water.
And it.
Burns.
But in like.
A good way.
Like.
That whiskey sour does.
I sip on the whiskey sour.
And it.
Burns too.
How's your holy water.
Captain.
Sour.
I tell you.
This is what they drink.
On the high seas.
It's the only thing.
You can get out there.
It's lemons.
Stops you from getting scurvy.
Right?
Does it?
Yes.
Well.
Hell.
Bring me another whiskey sour.
Scurvy dogs.
Not a bad case of scurvy.
We are.
No one's getting scurvy tonight.
The witch just comes over.
With another.
You know.
Whiskey sour.
And then she asks.
Whiskey sour.
And then she asks.
Whiskey.
Whiskey sour.
Anything for you.
Anything off the menu.
No.
But I.
I would like to.
Talk to chef.
Roselle.
To see if I could like.
Work.
To.
To get rid of some of my stress.
The waitress comes over to you.
And she.
She you know.
Like.
Looks for a second.
A little.
Not quite sure what she's going to do.
And then she goes back.
Into the.
Into the kitchen.
Another whiskey sour.
Deer.
Two of them.
It's kind of quiet in there for a second.
And then you hear this.
Complete.
Scream of.
Frustration.
And the door bangs open.
This woman comes in.
She's short.
She's petite.
She is sharp like a knife.
And she turns on you.
Squish.
And she goes.
I don't know what you think you can do.
Come into my restaurant.
And try to cook.
I don't know you.
Well that's what.
I'm here to.
Let you.
Tell me.
You're very intimidating.
For absolute success.
You think you can just go into the kitchen.
And whip up any sort of meal.
Do you even know what our specials are today?
You didn't even live.
You ordered a whiskey sour.
And.
A holy juice.
I mean.
It's holy water.
But.
Yeah.
Can I.
Because.
Three more whiskey sours.
Because.
I'm.
Sour.
Look at the menu.
And it.
Is.
Darnished.
She pulled out a knife.
A chef's knife.
And just.
Dabs it on the table.
She said.
You think you can do better?
Go on.
And she.
Pushes you.
Kind of.
Shoves you into the kitchen.
And you get into this kitchen.
Sour.
Yes.
I.
Just found out about this recipe.
With an eel and onions.
It'll blow your mind.
You get into the kitchen.
It is a fully furnished kitchen.
There are people working at different stations.
There's steam.
There's smell.
There's noise.
What do you do?
Because Chef Roselle is staring you down.
I walk over to Sauté.
And start looking around for ingredients.
You find a pretty wide selection of items.
You find herbs.
You find spices.
You've got vegetables.
You have a lot of seafood.
Not too much beef.
Not too much chicken.
It's a pretty well stocked kitchen.
There is a room in the back.
That you see nobody is going in and out of.
This is Chef Roselle's private.
Stash of ingredients.
Where she gets fancy things.
Like holy water.
What else would you like to do?
I'm going to.
I'm going to make that eel dish.
But I'm going to fancy it up with some butter.
Some tarragon.
Garlic.
And butter.
Pocket onions.
All right.
So you are going to roll.
Since you're cooking.
You're going to go ahead and roll.
To relieve your stress.
You're going to roll dice.
Equal to your lowest attribute.
So how many.
Let me pull up your thing.
Let me see.
I mean it would be zero.
It's like the total on the side.
So you have resolve.
Which only has one.
Like along the first row.
Along the first row.
Yeah.
How insight.
You have like three.
Dots along the first column.
Oh yeah.
Oh okay.
So you would roll.
Because it's your lowest.
You would roll resolve.
Which is one.
Gotcha.
Okay.
It's the worst outcome.
All right.
You reduce.
No.
Just that amount reduces your stress.
So you can reduce three stress.
Gotcha.
How does my dish turn on?
Your dish turns out great.
Chef Roselle kind of sniffs it over your corner.
Of your shoulder.
She kind of like looks at you.
She's not you know pleased.
But she's not quite as angry anymore.
And she goes.
Slime it up.
And kind of pushes you aside.
She pours it into a bowl.
And she you know tastes her little spoon.
And she tastes it.
It's fabulous.
Who knew?
Demons from the red skin.
Could cook so well.
Yeah.
So don't be so quick to judge.
Now give me some holy water.
Please.
All right.
Holy water would really tie this dish together.
She takes her thing of keys.
And she goes into the larder on her own.
She doesn't allow you to fall.
When she comes back.
She has a small bottle of holy water.
It's half empty from before.
But she hands it to you.
Now thank you.
I'll be back after my next score.
And put it in my pocket.
Perfect.
Captain.
The waitresses have just been walking past.
And every time they do.
They put a whiskey sour.
Onto your table.
Oh.
Go ahead.
Oh.
I'm just saying.
Because drinking is one of your vices.
You can roll for stress if you'd like.
Okay.
Yeah.
I was going to say.
I'm going to sneak out.
You're going to get into it.
And drink.
And you don't want to use your roll.
Mostly drink.
All right.
You can reduce.
Six stress.
Well that's all the stress I have.
That's good.
Then you have no more stress.
Because I think if you.
If you go over the amount.
Something happens too.
Right?
Yeah.
So if you overindulge.
You can have some issues.
You can.
Depending on your.
Level.
And what you want.
You can like.
You can get extra.
Heat.
Or you can take harm.
Or you can disappear.
And go on a bender.
Yeah.
My bender for.
For cooking.
This could be.
So many blisters.
It's going to go to all the restaurants.
And walk into the kitchens.
Cook for everyone.
You're going to go on.
A round the world trip.
Like.
Oh God.
Who did that?
Anthony Bourdain.
I was going to say Gordon Ramsay.
Fuck off.
I was like that's not right.
All right.
So.
Squish.
You still have one more action.
If you'd like to use it.
Captain.
You've used your actions.
You healed.
And you.
You know.
Got your vice lowered.
Squish.
You.
I'm sorry.
Squish.
Truples.
You still have one action left.
Do you want to take a break.
Before we continue.
Sure.
Sounds good.
Sure.
Okay.
No.
Can't see you.
Thank you.
More cereal?
Air day.
Say I won't do it.
I'm going to do it every day.
Say I won't do it.
Yeah.
Air day.
Everyone steals.
Oh, we did that.
Yeah.
I'm going to put that on our crew.
The junk boys.
Everybody steals.
Wait, what is this?
Special abilities.
Everybody steals.
Wait, what is this?
Oh, there they are.
Abilities.
Everyone steals.
Okay.
Lair.
Which one are you taking?
I'm Juggles.
Leech?
I know.
Yes.
Are you a leech?
Why?
Okay.
I was.
You were talking about everyone steals.
Oh, Bridget just put a picture on the discord.
It's an ability under shadows.
Wait.
Shadows.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
One that you guys can.
You can pick another one if you'd like.
This is for our abilities as a crew.
Yes.
Is a shadows a type of crew?
Oh, okay.
That's what you guys are.
You're like thieves and sneakers.
Just gurgle.
You're like shadows in the night.
Like a rainbow in the dark.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
So we get to pick one of those or you already took one?
Oh, you guys.
I mean, you guys were working on the crew the first time you picked everybody steals.
Oh.
But as a group, you can pick one more.
Ah.
Oh, we should do synchronize.
When you perform a group action, you may count different sixes from different rules as a critical success.
I don't really know what that does.
Yes.
So when you do something like if you were as a group deciding to prowl, you would all roll prowl.
Normally how it works is that whoever amongst you all, if you get a six, you know, that's a success.
You take the highest roll out of everyone.
If you fail, whoever like suggested the group action gets damage.
With this, you can use multiple sixes to get a critical success.
And like do something cool, I guess.
Like from different people.
Okay.
Yeah, you would succeed with bone.
All right.
So like if you rolled a six or he rolled a six, you could do it.
Okay.
I'm willing to take a chance on synchronize and see how it goes.
Take a chance.
Yeah, I love it.
It's not a contest.
I'm into it.
It's not a contest.
Okay.
So while Squish and the captain have been at the Golden Plum, where have you been, Chuck?
Well, I had an idea for like my vice.
So I was going to start wandering towards that.
It's not.
Yeah.
It's, it's kind of somewhere.
We'll say non-traditional.
And.
All right.
Is it.
I just had you on a street.
Oh, okay.
I thought you were taking me to another, perhaps the same old lady.
No.
Okay.
No, I was just taking you to that street.
Okay.
I didn't know if you had something prepared like Golden Plum.
Okay.
I do have something prepared.
We'll go there.
So the place that you go to looks from the front, a very normal storefront.
It just says Shop des Mystiques.
When you open up the door, it kind of creaks a little bit.
But otherwise, it's not a spooky place.
But there are a strange many things on the walls all around you.
Different potions, different books, different cans of questionable material.
Yeah.
There's like some little birds in the corner chirping along in like a little cage.
Only two or three of them.
They're little songbirds.
And then as you come into the store, a very young woman rounds the corner.
She looks completely normal.
Nothing crazy about her.
She kind of looks out of place in this very oddball assortment.
And she's very bubbly, very sweet.
And she goes, hi.
I'm looking for the manager.
He knows me.
The manager, Uncle Steinler.
Well, I just call him Uncle.
I never really knew his last or first name.
Is he around?
You know, his uncle.
So she turns and walks kind of back.
And in a few seconds, an older, lumbering man comes through with the face that looks like it's been deteriorating slowly over time.
He's missing a good part of the cartilage.
His face is scarred.
His head is missing any sort of hair.
But otherwise, he's dressed like a very fine gentleman.
His clothes are pristine.
And he kind of turns the corner and he's like pulling on his cuffs and everything, expecting a customer.
And he looks up and he sees you, chuckles, and he goes, oh, excuse me?
Oh, how's it?
How's it going?
It's been a bit, huh?
He kind of looks you up and down and he's squinting at you.
He doesn't recognize me.
Maybe it was a different disfigured man I'm remembering.
And then he kind of recognition, he goes, Charles Zander?
Charles Zander?
Yes.
What are you?
You walk into my shop.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, hi.
You know, this is awkward.
I thought this would be wonderful.
And it's just dawning on me that when she said, when she said uncle, that it was her uncle.
I thought it was just like a cute nickname that we had for him.
I thought he was his first name.
I thought he was like an uncle to everybody.
Oh, you know, I've been around the block a little bit there, Charles Zander.
But, you know, life is.
You met my niece, Hergoletta.
Hergoletta.
You know, she's a good girl.
Yes, no, she's quite ravishing.
She's working as a clerk.
Oh, I could tell from the glasses that she had on her nose.
The end of her nose.
Like a perfectly good clerk.
I'm glad to see you got some family help.
Well, you know, times are tough.
Well, you know, being as old as I am.
Yeah.
Yes.
Is there a.
Well.
Yeah, no, I got to be honest with you.
Excuse me.
You just hear noises from behind the roof.
They make weird noises.
They sneeze, though.
You don't stop.
Got to get on Hergoletta for that.
Wait.
And this person's name is Uncle Skluck?
Skylock.
No, I knew that.
No.
How you doing, Uncle, if I can call you that?
You've been so good to us.
I mean, you could.
Well, you know, your mother.
Bless her heart.
Yeah.
Bless.
What's she doing?
Oh.
I wish you wouldn't have asked.
She's.
Let's say.
Not alive anymore.
She's dead.
She's passed on.
Oh.
She's wormful.
I understand.
Yeah.
No.
Hergoletta's.
Yeah.
It was.
It was rough.
But you know what?
She's in a.
A.
Different place now.
I don't know if it's better.
But.
I hope so.
Well.
You know what they say.
If you can't join them.
You probably are better off.
No.
I don't want to join her.
Because.
From what I hear.
It's.
You know.
There are ghosts.
So.
Hopefully.
She's not a ghost.
She's probably.
They have electric goo.
That runs this whole city.
Oh.
That sounds worse.
I don't.
Want to think about it.
Actually.
Well.
Then.
I won't detain you.
What did you come in here for?
You know.
I don't sell that stuff.
The goo?
Oh.
No.
I'm looking for.
Some.
Exotic foods.
You know.
Remember.
Oh.
You never remember.
The.
Exotic foods.
That.
I was into.
For a time there.
And I'm still into.
You know.
You're a pro dear mother.
She thought that was a phase.
No.
I crave it.
I still crave it.
All right.
Well.
I mean.
Are you still.
Are you still selling it?
Is that still a thing.
That you're doing here?
Okay.
Let me.
Let me go in.
Go in the back.
And see what I.
I come up with here.
All right.
Just one second.
And he's going to.
Go around.
Back.
Go ahead and roll.
Your stress.
Roll.
So it's your lowest.
Hold on.
Let me pull you in here.
It is your lowest.
Okay.
I think it's going to be zero.
Because I don't have anything.
For.
Right.
Resolve.
Okay.
So.
I'll have you roll two.
And then just take the lowest.
Of the.
Of the two.
D6.
I.
Two.
He.
He comes around the corner.
And holding in his hand.
He just has a very.
Small tin can.
And on the.
Side of it.
You can see.
That it says.
Nimby's.
Cat food.
And he goes.
I was saving this.
For a special occasion.
But.
I think you need it more.
And he gives you.
The little.
Can of cat food.
Oh.
Nimby.
May she rest.
In peace.
Oh.
Well.
All right.
Well.
Cheers.
I hope she's not.
Electric goo either.
To electric goo.
And not being it.
Did you.
Was your whole side mission.
Just to get.
Cat food.
Yeah.
No.
From Uncle.
Uncle Skyluck.
I call him Uncle though.
Skyluck.
He's.
Uncle Skyluck.
He's desperately disfigured.
Um.
Well.
That looks like the.
Live action version of.
Skeletor.
Evil.
Yeah.
You know.
This is.
This is pretty good.
I think Nimby would have loved this.
I think that is.
Nippy had a distinguishing taste.
Yeah.
I can tell.
He's always a good.
Good soul.
Well.
Is there anything else I could help you with?
Charles Xander.
Well.
Charles Xander.
Have you heard anything going on.
Around.
Any of your.
Town.
Yeah.
Let's get this gossip.
From.
The local cat food dealer.
Well.
He leaps over.
And you can just tell.
He has been dying.
He's got some juicy gossip going on.
He says.
Well.
The spirit wardens.
You know all about them.
There's stockpiling.
Electroplasm.
Speaking of.
Electric goo.
I think.
That there's going to be.
You think there's going to be what?
I think.
He says.
There's going to be some shortages.
Around here.
I don't know for certain.
But.
Used to see the spirit wardens.
Walking the streets.
What?
Three.
Four times a night.
Now you don't see them at all.
I haven't seen them in a while.
Suspicious.
Right?
Don't be suspicious.
You know what?
But I never really put it together.
Hmm.
Stockpiling electric goo.
Where do we get that?
From.
From ghosts.
Or people.
Dead people.
Right.
You know.
When someone.
When someone dies.
Either.
They become.
A spirit.
If they're allowed to linger.
And obviously.
We wouldn't want that for them.
You see how the ghosts around here.
Always screaming.
And.
Repetiting.
Being repetitive.
Possessing people.
They're a menace.
We don't want that.
So the spirit wardens come.
They're a menace.
The spirit wardens come.
And they take.
The spirits of the dead.
As they've died.
And they.
Take the gooey substance.
That is our soul.
And they use it to run all the electricity.
In Duskful.
And now all of a sudden.
There's shortages.
And now there's stockpiles.
Apparently.
Suspicious.
Why would they be stockpiling?
Gooey.
That is the question.
Why would they be stockpiling it?
For war?
A ghost war?
Prophet?
Ghost war?
I don't know.
Skylock doesn't know.
Skylock only hears.
Uncle Sluck.
It's.
Very interesting.
I.
Thank you for this.
Fancy feast.
But.
You.
No.
You.
No.
You're stressed.
You.
Oh actually.
I did not.
So how much did I lose?
Two?
Two.
All right.
Wish you.
Sorry.
Were you finished?
I didn't want to stop on your toes.
I can't see you right now.
It's just stupid.
No.
I had nothing extra.
I'm interested in the gossip.
And thank you for the cat food.
Is it still freezing on your side?
Just tiger.
It's frozen.
Why is it always me?
We don't know.
We keep having technical difficulties.
It's unfortunate.
It could be worse.
It's like.
You don't.
We don't ask questions anymore.
Yeah.
We're doing the best we can.
I.
Well the three of you.
Gather.
Hold on.
I got one more.
Oh yeah.
Go ahead.
I want to set up a long-term project of making like walkie talkies.
Walkie talkies.
Okay.
Or procuring walkie talkies.
I perhaps maybe can help since I am a tinkerer.
And I was the professor.
Yes.
If only we had coconuts.
Make this work.
All right.
Give me one second.
We'll get that.
We'll get started on this.
She wasn't anticipating telephones.
I.
That was.
You know what?
It wasn't.
That was not one of the things I anticipated.
Just like jumping into trash.
Well this is like a little different.
Jumping in the trash.
Introducing a very different.
World changing technology.
Or jumping in the trash.
Yeah.
I like to mix it up.
There was that one time you got in a fight with the TA.
The teacher's assistant.
You didn't want to get.
No.
It wasn't.
Oh.
The TSA.
The spaceport.
Yeah.
I was upset about that.
You go to jail.
You know what it was?
You didn't want to show your ID.
Like what kind of flyer are you?
You're the guy that shows up on public freakouts.
We'd be seeing Saren Turbo on the public freakout subreddit.
Screaming at Trent.
It was kind of interesting because we were both kind of just like politely differing.
And Andy kept being abstinent.
And I was like.
Okay.
More cops come.
Well I'm not showing them my ID.
Okay.
They're going to arrest you.
Bridget.
This should give you some insight to how you have to react to some.
You had to put that lay down the law.
Literally.
In that case.
Yes.
It's.
It turned.
It turned out fine though.
We met a rapist.
Yeah.
That was.
I know.
I don't think they've ever.
I know.
A new rapist.
Into Star Wars.
Could you imagine?
Jesus Christ.
I mean.
Twi'leks are.
Oh.
That would get dark.
Aren't they?
I mean.
That's the implication.
But I don't like to think about it.
All right.
Can we move on?
Right.
Squish.
He wandered himself.
Into.
Does anyone else want to come with Squish?
You guys can come to.
Well.
I haven't seen Squish in a while.
And I would like to meet up with him.
Although I don't know why we met up.
Maybe after I ate.
We ran into each other somehow.
I just felt.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Did you guys.
You went back to the junk store.
Yes.
And had food.
Yes.
Hey.
Chuckles.
You got something.
Right on your lip there.
You need to.
Yep.
You.
You got it.
That's not as good.
Where are we at?
Are we in a bookstore?
You're in a store.
Yeah.
Not a bookstore.
But it does have books there.
It's a kind of hodgepodge.
Of.
Gizmos and gazmos.
And manuscripts.
And pamphlets.
It's just.
Electric and co.
Is the sign.
Over the door.
And when you walk in.
There's a shopkeeper there.
Normal looking guy at the desk.
And he goes.
Can I help you?
Yeah.
I'm looking for.
A device.
Or how to make a device.
To.
Talk to each other.
From.
Wirelessly.
Have you tried.
Wirelessly.
Yes.
Have you tried.
Putting Dixie cups together.
With string.
That.
Is.
Wired.
I would prefer.
Wireless.
Oh.
Well you just had to take the fun.
Out of everything.
Don't you?
That.
Yeah.
That's.
Oh we're going to invent.
Something new.
It sounds like.
I have not heard of this.
Wireless.
Technology.
I don't like it.
It's scary.
He kind of.
Scratches his head.
And he is like.
I got some books about it.
Something like that.
They've been messing around.
With this high tech.
Stuff for a while now.
Let me go.
And check.
And he kind of fumbles around.
And he pulls out a handful of pamphlets.
And hands them to you.
And he's like.
This is.
This is going to take you a while.
You're going to have to read these.
First.
And understand it.
And then you're going to have to go.
And find parts for it.
I.
I don't know.
Good luck.
Thank you.
Do you happen to have any of the parts here?
What parts do you need?
Well I haven't read them yet.
Did you read them?
Can you tell me?
If.
You're going to roll.
To read the pamphlets.
And how well you roll.
Depends on how well you understand.
Those pamphlets.
And that's going to be.
The start of your project.
Making walkie talkies.
Study.
I have good.
Can I.
Ah yeah.
It'll be a study.
Can I help?
Because I have good study too.
Can I hinder?
Because I don't like this.
You'd rather just yell?
Yeah.
You both can roll your study.
Or ghosts.
A group action.
All right.
We'll do a group action.
I'm Juckles.
Do a group study.
Controlled.
Does it matter?
It matters, right?
No.
I don't think it matters for this.
Yeah.
All right.
Oh boy.
All right.
Success.
All right.
So you thumb through the pamphlets.
You guys spend a long night together.
Huddled up eating.
In the junk fort.
And you read the pamphlets.
And you understand.
What you have to do.
Eureka.
Let me pull this up.
You're.
You're halfway.
What you got.
Because I didn't understand.
Any of this.
Oh no.
You just.
You got to do the.
The resistors.
And the capacitors.
In a very.
Specific order.
Can I have one of those sheets.
That want the fire.
I thought you loved reading.
Not about manuals.
Oh no.
This is mostly math.
I'm in the fine arts.
Sort of.
You know.
Liberal arts.
I never took you.
For.
A fine anything.
I didn't even know.
You could read.
By literally judging.
A book by its cover.
You're.
No.
I'm judging you.
And I'm the book.
Now you know.
What a metaphor is.
Interesting.
Oh.
That's what.
Liberal.
I'm Connor Crandall.
Well.
You guys are halfway.
To making your walkie talkies.
That'll be part of your.
Long-term project.
The next step.
Will be probably.
Buying the pieces.
But you all have done your.
Downtime activities.
I'm impressed.
I didn't know this would take you.
You guys would.
Get through this so quickly.
I'm so impressed.
There's just one.
Are there any carpets.
In this place.
There is carpeting.
On the floor.
But there are.
A few heavy tables.
On some of them.
So it wouldn't be.
Super easy.
To just pull them up.
But you could.
But I use my finesse.
Perhaps we could find.
Sure.
Another place.
To steal carpet.
Or.
What was the other thing?
Oh.
Too late.
The drapes.
Yeah.
I gotta earn.
Rizal's trust.
I'm stealing the carpet.
I'm doing it.
You said finesse.
Finesse.
One die.
That's what you have.
I don't remember.
Hold on.
I think you just upgraded.
Yeah.
I said one.
How did you do two?
Yeah.
That would suggest zero.
I said.
Did you.
You rolled finesse.
Oh.
So.
Yeah.
So I don't roll for two.
I rolled one.
I rolled for one.
So I only roll zero.
If I roll.
If I have a one dot.
Just go to.
If you're highlighting.
You can go to your.
Where it says action resistance.
And utility.
You can go to actions.
Okay.
And then in my modifier.
Because I rolled finesse.
You rolled finesse.
My modifier is zero.
Or is it one?
Did you.
Did you update your.
I just checked it.
It's still.
It's still one.
Did you put that one?
Yeah.
Oh weird.
So what do I put down?
Yeah.
Zero.
So.
You don't put down anything.
Your.
Your actions.
And then roll finesse.
You should.
It should just pop up one.
Yeah.
There you go.
Four.
Uh.
So you managed to.
Uh.
Rip up a good section of carpet.
But the.
Uh.
Electro guy.
At the.
Counter.
Definitely sees you.
And he's like.
Hey.
And he kicks all of you.
Out of the.
Uh.
Out of the shop.
You probably.
Take the carpet with me.
You did grab the carpet with you.
How.
How are we going to get our walkie talkie part.
We just got tricked out of the only electric shop in town.
Electric and co.
Why would you do that?
Wow.
I just imagine we're walking down the street.
And you have this rolled up piece of carpet.
Under your arm.
As we walk back towards the junk fort.
I'm just like.
You're so happy about this like.
Tiny section of rug.
I'm so drunk.
I don't even know why you came with.
I don't really like the idea of.
These phone things.
But we got carpet.
I got something out of this.
This is going to make it.
As you turn the corner to head up.
Down the street to the junk fort.
You are stopped.
By a cop.
By a blue coat.
Uh oh.
Hello mustache.
That is a serious mustache.
Yeah.
You look awfully German.
Softly moustached.
This is Constable Raya.
He is.
He's a constable here.
You see him quite a bit.
In Crow's foot.
He's not known for being a particularly.
A decent cop.
But he's also.
You know.
Not out to make too much trouble.
But he stops you.
And he's like.
He looks at.
The captain with his carpet.
And just shakes his head.
And goes.
You know.
You boys.
Move into that junk fort up there.
And all of a sudden.
We start having some issues.
And I.
I spoke around.
Who the fuck told you about the junk fort?
Please don't do that.
That's not our junk fort.
That's just junk.
Yeah.
That's just trash.
Hobos live in that place.
It's stuck.
It's just.
Hobos and.
Yeah.
They probably don't even have carpet up there.
You might even know.
There's not even like a place to put a fire in there.
Yeah.
From what I've heard.
You're taking this the wrong way.
I'm trying to get anyone into trouble.
But did you have a permit?
Oh.
I see what this is about.
You're looking for a bribe.
Well.
We didn't really build it.
It was.
It was there.
It's a small.
You need to overweigh.
You know.
Overlook the.
You know.
Lack of inspection.
That you boys did.
And.
I could look the other way.
In case.
You have more carpet thefts.
To deal with.
Well.
Here's your bribe.
Have a carpet.
Listen.
Do you.
Perhaps.
Enjoy.
Onions.
You know.
I know.
That makes a good onion.
And eel.
That's not the point.
The point is.
Is.
You know.
You've been here.
For a little bit.
Me and my buddies.
At the police station.
Have seen.
What you've been doing.
And.
We're just a little concerned.
And we just want to make sure.
Things are okay.
By you.
I could take one.
Am I under arrest?
You know.
Just to ask.
If you.
Oh.
Arrest.
Is such a harsh word.
But.
Where did you get the carpet from.
Sir.
I bought it.
Off the street.
Do you have a receipt?
No.
It was a gentleman's.
A gentleman's.
A gentleman's sake.
Listen.
I think I might.
You have to.
Get my.
Get my colleagues.
Down here.
We might need to take you.
All right.
No.
You just.
You bust our balls.
No.
Like.
We don't need to get anybody else involved.
You know.
Let's just not.
Let's not be too hasty.
So.
We got a little bit of Alyssa carpet.
You know.
Who doesn't?
I run.
Can I offer you.
A free meal.
At the golden plum.
He looks at you.
And he's like.
My anniversary is coming up.
I can make a reservation.
You give me a seat at the golden plum.
And.
I'll see what I can do with the rest of them.
But.
You.
You can't be stealing carpet boys.
It's just.
It's unseemly.
It's just.
We never stole it.
It's just a bunch of dust.
In the shape of the captain.
He's.
Long gone.
That ran.
And you guys.
And you left him.
That's not.
What I'm going to do.
Oh.
Then we're definitely.
Carpeting this junk.
All right.
You guys get to here.
The cop leaves you alone.
Office.
Constable Fry.
But he is going to be a pain in your butt now.
He's going to kind of keep an eye on you guys.
Going here on out.
You're part of his.
Regular beat.
Wow.
Is he.
Does he.
Does he follow the rules.
Or does he have to do things by his own way.
But he's a good man at heart.
Does he get the job done.
Come call him a rule breaker.
I am trying to eat a sandwich here.
To be dead.
I slit his throat from ear to ear.
Hey.
I'm trying to eat my lunch.
Ah.
Wow.
All right.
Well.
Junk.
Sweet junk.
I start carpeting the wall.
Carpeting the wall.
Really?
Did you check for ants?
No.
Ants come later.
So no.
No.
Good.
They make.
That's how you get ants.
And cats love to eat ants.
Wow.
It's a self-sustaining ecosystem.
That's true.
And I love to eat cats.
The circle.
Do we have a hole in the floor yet?
No.
Why don't you wreck one in there.
And see if you make a hole in the floor.
Okay.
I take my.
I would suggest.
I take my.
I take my rapier.
And start prying up boards.
This is a great idea guys.
You.
You have to stop.
Yes.
You're really fucking this up for everyone.
What do I have.
What do I roll for.
Prying up a floor board.
It's wreck.
Wreck.
Yes.
I don't get the.
I haven't got the use wreck yet.
I'm going to wreck it.
Oh.
No.
Yeah.
No.
I was hoping he got a wall.
No.
He got all his failures out last week.
Dude.
We're going to.
This is.
This is where we're going to the bathroom.
You can't just put a hole in the middle of the floor.
Where did you put the hole?
Right in the middle.
Oh no.
Like.
There's.
Right in the picture.
Like.
We.
I should just call it.
Like.
A big hole.
Right.
Oh no.
Did you put.
Not a big hole.
It's man sized.
Did you put a door over the hole?
Oh no.
I put.
Some of the.
This is the most dangerous.
This is why the cops are hassling us about permits.
This is not the code.
I got enough carpet on the walls.
And right.
One.
And I put one little bit of carpet right in the middle on that hole.
Because it ties the room together.
See.
Brought it all around town.
I kind of hope he pulls through it.
I think it's.
Yeah.
Well.
Considering how drunk.
If you throw.
Hey.
If you throw a carpet over it.
It could be a trap.
Yeah.
For us.
It is a trap.
For us.
I'm going to get up in the middle of the night.
To go to the bathroom.
Yeah.
That's how you do the bathroom.
Into the creek.
It's called a bidet.
It'll be so clean.
Down.
Oh.
There's the hole.
Wait.
Did you just draw it?
What?
No.
How about that fast?
Oh, no.
Well.
You.
You managed to pop up a board.
And now you have a great gaping hole.
With the.
Sewer wind.
Blowing through.
Into your junk.
No.
I covered it with a carpet.
I thought.
That was.
Falls.
What?
I thought that was.
You were carpeting the walls.
That's what you were saying.
You were going to put the carpet on the walls.
I put some on the walls.
Some over the hole.
How much carpet did you have under your arm?
Half the guy's room.
It was special success.
I think.
I think the bigger question is.
Is how big is the junk fort?
Oh.
It's about.
You know.
A couple knots.
That.
Does not make sense.
A couple cubits.
About four cubits across.
You know.
I don't know what a cubit is.
So.
I'm.
Still.
I guess you're wrong.
Bridget.
What.
Does this place have.
Does this world have its own measuring system?
We haven't really.
No.
Determined that yet.
Because it's all light years.
And Star Wars.
There are.
Light years of bar sex.
And how fast you can make them.
There are defined like.
Months and stuff.
But.
They have like.
Ten week days.
Or ten.
Ten day weeks.
The metric system.
Ten week days.
Could you imagine?
I spent a month there one night.
Can you imagine?
Oh.
Well.
That's what I got for you tonight.
Thank you.