*music*
What would you do with a big ol' butthole?
You say "What would you do with a big ol' butthole?"
No.
That'd be weird.
Yar.
Wait, I wanna get your name and I don't know if maybe Bridget fixed it.
No, I just have it as Clyde.
What's your full name?
Adric.
A-D-R-I-C.
Okay.
Fitz, F-I-T-Z.
And then Clyde.
Is it one word?
No.
I did have that written.
Hyphenated?
No.
Alright.
So your middle name is Fitz?
Yes.
That's why I'm Captain Clyde and not Captain Fitz Clyde.
Well, Captain Fitz Clyde does not instill fear.
You got that right.
But, you know, Clyde does.
You know I'd be more scared of Captain Fitz Clyde than Clyde.
Well, I'm actually, I'm Captain Clyde the ghost pirate.
So, I mean, it's got a moniker that goes with it.
You know.
It's like, it's got a whole thing.
It's got an attitude.
Yeah, it's got an attitude.
You know.
Plus, you know, Adric Fitz Clyde as a whole is very, very eloquent and very, that's how I
get in high society was with that fantastic.
It wasn't how you got on the boat.
Yeah, well, that was when I was Captain Clyde the ghost pirate.
And it worked for a little bit.
And then it didn't.
It mostly did not.
I don't know.
It's arguable.
Yeah, we got somewhere, you know.
You know, lessons were learned along the way.
Laughed were had, I think.
Someone laughed.
Yeah.
You could definitely say you live laughed and loved.
I haven't loved yet.
You didn't love that monkey?
I loved myself.
I mean, not in the biblical sense.
Did you make love to the monkey?
I just said not in the biblical sense.
Did you spank the monkey?
I should have as it was running away, but I didn't want to, I didn't want to turn D.D.
on to me.
I wanted.
Is D.D. a female male?
Did we establish that?
D.D. is a male.
He's a male.
Oh, okay.
He's a male, uh, chipmunk.
I did think I saw a wang.
Sure.
Wang Day noodle.
All right.
I'm reading this art, this newspaper article.
I'll hear Wednesday news.
Oh man.
I hope you can keep this up forever.
Just start my own newspaper.
Yeah.
And, and the, the random quote or tagline.
Ape shit on a ship.
It was not a radish.
It was a rutabaga.
That's what it was.
I couldn't remember.
I didn't have the strength to go and find out.
Yeah.
I, I, I noticed that, but I, I wasn't going to say anything cause I'm not that big of a dick.
That monkey, that monkey, monkey picture is just missing his cigarette.
I'll say that.
And he, that's why he's so sad.
That's true.
That is true.
That's a very sad monkey picture.
Even with the big cigarette, he's more, he looked much more happier with his, with his
Look how much rope he's holding with that ant.
What?
It's enough to tangle up a young ship boy.
Cabin boy.
Oh yeah, that's right.
Cabin boy.
Which we have not exactly defined as of yet.
No, but we know that Neils, what's, what's the ghost butler's name again?
Nils?
Neelix.
We know that Neelix is formerly a cabin boy.
That has been entered into the canon.
Now he's a butler, which is a much better version of a cabin boy.
Is it?
Yes.
I mean, he gets to wear a suit.
I don't think he gets to, I think you force him to.
How do you force a ghost to wear anything?
I don't know.
How did you do it?
You're the ghost whisperer.
I'm not going to answer that.
I can tell you, it wasn't from compelling.
You've done not great with that.
Trade secrets.
He did not listen to you.
Maybe the thing is, I wanted him to stay a cabin boy and then he became a butler of his own free will.
Maybe, did you think of that?
Maybe I wanted a cabin boy.
What?
Yeah.
Oh, he's gone.
Yeah.
The flies followed me.
I've never asked him to go to another airport.
Just to remind everybody where you're at.
You're in the belly of the ship, the bottom deck.
Chuckles and Squish have their hands on the caviar cargo.
The captain is in the aft.
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
Whatever the front of the ship is.
The front of the ship.
Yeah.
Uh.
Oh, our captain, not the captain.
No, the captain.
A captain.
Sorry.
Uh, Captain Clyde is in the fourth of the ship.
Yes.
Uh, there's still some crew locked up and there's a monkey running around on the top ship in the middle ship.
So.
Causing a ruckus.
He, he really needs a cigarette.
He really needs a smoke.
He's having a neck fit up there.
I'm just going to go to the midship and screw some shit up.
All right, we're in the lower deck.
You crazy son of a bitch.
Okay.
And the other, the other people in here are distracted by ghosts in the ropes, right?
Mostly goings on.
All right.
Yeah.
Hey, hey, Chuckles.
That's me.
You got, you got it.
You read all the other boxes, right?
Yes.
Radishes, tomatoes, tomatoes, potatoes, and potatoes.
Oh, they got potatoes too?
Uh, yeah.
And we're taking this caviar?
I, I, I, it was unclear to me what she wanted.
Uh, she did emphasize the caviar so she could bring at least that back.
Uh, but she could probably use all of the food.
Um, but we don't carry so much.
I'm just hoping that maybe there's some technology there for our mics.
Uh, I don't know.
Although you can make a battery from a, from a potato.
I'm not sure you can make a walkie talkie.
Right.
I'm not sure you can make a walkie talkie.
Right.
Well, walkie talkies have to be powered by something.
Why not a string of potatoes and onions?
You'll never get me onions.
They're just making, like.
There's one under your hat.
I know exactly where it's at.
What?
If you, if you, if you, if you had an actual onion under there.
Yeah.
I would have been really impressed.
Yeah.
Now it's a part of, now it's gotta be a part of your cosplay.
Every time you tip your hat, take it off, there's an onion rolling around in your hat.
That would be so smelly.
But cool though.
But cool.
Someone say spicy.
No one would say that.
No one should say that.
Uh, what was I doing last time when we were here?
I got the ghost to scare him.
And then what did I do?
Probably did.
You stood there.
I don't, that, okay.
Out of character.
I'm not the same character as the other one.
I've only run from one pipe.
I'm not.
You did.
I mean.
Yes.
However, I think you said that was part of your character personality or earlier that you would run away.
No, but like, it's not out of fear.
It's from a place of strength.
Yeah.
You know, I don't, I've got better things to do than fight.
You know, that's the hell.
And someday we might find out what they are.
Yeah.
Until then, you better, you best watch yourselves.
Respect me.
All right.
What was I doing?
I think you were just commanding the ghosts.
No, I think I was hiding.
Were you fighting the ghosts?
I was hiding.
I'm hiding behind this, this, this bed here while also compelling my ghost to like, you know, cause a ruckus.
Just like in that.
The ruckus is just him moving some ropes, right?
Yeah.
Some ropes.
Um, uh, you know, he's causing a distinct ruckus.
Like in that, like in that movie.
Um, apocalypse now, you know, when they blow it up shit.
Nope.
Right over my head.
I haven't seen it.
Okay.
Squish.
Uh, let's carry this up towards the front.
We'll leave it by the captain to hide behind.
Okay.
And then let's figure out what we're going to do.
Okay.
All right.
That sounds good.
All right.
I think we ought to run this by the captain.
Why?
I don't, I feel like he's a voting partner.
Have we established that?
Uh, what?
Hire one, hire them all.
I, we did establish that.
Yeah.
Uh, yeah.
All right.
So, uh, we, let's carry that box up to the front by the captain and we tell the captain,
Hey, Hey, we got the caviar.
You got the fish eggs.
Uh, there, there's something else.
There, uh, Leviathan eggs.
Leviathan.
Yeah.
I thought it was like a whale.
Oh, those are good ones.
It's not a mammal.
There's, there's, there's good eggs.
It is not a mammal.
I can't.
What do you want me to do with my, what do you want me to do with my ghost, uh, sweeper
over here?
Well, I mean, we should keep those guys distracted as long as possible.
And I think we need to get out of here somehow.
That's where the plan starts to get hazy to me.
Can I still compel that other ghost?
The one that was like banging the door.
Yeah.
Or can I only do one ghost at a time?
No, you can compel multiple ghosts.
You do have to like re-roll for it, but yeah.
What if I tried to, uh, compelling that ghost like to, um, you know, I don't know, help us
in some way.
I don't know.
All right.
Keep telling him, what do you want him to do?
The plan fell apart in the, in the planning phases.
The immediate phase.
The right away phase.
Um, okay.
So we need to get to the top of the boat and get off.
I say, uh, we use that ghost to, uh, chase off any of the other members of the ship.
That's pretty broad.
Oh, whatever.
Okay.
Well, uh, try to, what can you give him a specific action to do?
What do you want?
I'm going to, I'm going to pass the buck.
What do you guys think?
What do you guys want to do?
I'm abandoning this.
I do have one question, uh, that came up earlier that we never really, this is in character that
we never really got to.
Um, they said something about the captain being in the character.
A captain being in the brig.
What does that mean?
He's in jail.
Oh, is that what a brig is?
Ah, now you're the cabin boy.
I don't, I'm new at this.
Uh, so what, that doesn't make sense.
Why would the captain be in the brig?
They, well, they put the ship on lockdown.
The department of preservation put the whole ship on lockdown.
Hmm.
So they got the whole crew in the brig.
Where, captain, you, you know, boats.
Are you familiar with this type of boat?
Oh, yes.
It's, uh, definitely a, a schooner class.
Ah, schooner class.
Where generally is the brig on a schooner class?
Uh, down below.
Is it, is it?
Should be nearby actually.
That should be.
We should be, uh, how, what floor are we on?
I don't remember.
You are definitely in the, uh, the bottom of the boat.
You're in the lower deck.
Shouldn't that be where they're at?
Are they on the second level?
Did we walk by them?
Are you asking me?
Yeah, I'm asking you.
So, uh, the captain is in the, uh, the aft of the, uh, lower deck.
The rest of the crew is in the midship, uh, in the forward section.
All right.
You did walk past them.
Yeah.
I think we walked past them.
The monkey and the, the ship, or the crew apart?
Yes.
Okay.
Well, that's racist.
I didn't want you getting everyone at once.
So I was like, I'll split them up.
Good call.
Should we rescue the captain?
Do you think he would be, uh, help?
Well, I mean, him and the crew would probably be thankful.
I would imagine.
But would they fight?
It'd be a mutiny.
I think it would be a mute.
We could get a mutiny going.
I mean, they're going to want their boat back, right?
And their job was to get this food to, I assume.
I assume, Roselle.
Is that her name?
Yeah.
I've been calling her.
Roselle.
Yeah.
The tiny, tiny little foreign lady.
She's spicy.
Extra spicy.
Well, she doesn't smell spicy.
She's as spicy as an onion.
Yeah.
Uh, but then we would have to walk by these guys and go bust them out.
I mean, we could try bluffing by them again.
Or maybe if, Captain, you keep these.
Maybe that's what you could do.
You can have that, that sweeper ghost give another like distraction.
I'm good at doing ghost distractions.
You've done one already.
I can do a couple more if you'd like.
Are there cannons on this boat?
There are cannons on the top deck.
Snap cannons?
What are snap cannons?
I thought, did you say cat cannons or did you just?
No, I said, no, I said can, cannons.
Oh, okay.
I hesitated in the word cannons.
A humanoid lion.
Let's not rehash that.
Can you have your ghost, like, set off a cannon?
I don't see why not.
Maybe that would distract some people enough to get to the top floor.
Or the top deck.
Where's the nearest cannon?
It's on the top deck.
AKA the poop deck.
So do we need to sneak past these guys first before?
Because that was the whole point of me spooking these guys is to get up.
Or do you just tell him to go up there and start blowing cannons and then hope they go up there?
To get up there, these guys on the bottom deck would have to walk past you.
The entrance to get up and down the ship, if you look, there's like this square little trap door.
Oh, that's up, not down.
Yeah, there's no, well, it's up and down, but there's no more down.
So it just goes up.
It's a staircase that only goes up.
So it's one of those bi-directional stairways.
Right, right.
Yeah.
So it goes up and then the midship, you know, you can go up one more and then that's the top deck.
And the cannons are in the top deck.
Do you think that would be a pretty good distraction?
Yeah, but they're going to walk past us, right?
Not if we're behind the hammocks.
I can hide behind a hammock.
That's something definitely in my skill set.
So then he's best at his height in a hammock.
So your plan is you're going to hide behind the hammocks and then Captain Clyde is going to use his compelling ability to make a ghost go up to the top deck and start light a cannon.
And check on the monkey.
Yes.
So what do I roll to do all that?
Is that just, you know, charisma?
Well, you would definitely, you would need to compel the ghost first.
Or command the ghost, whichever.
Command them?
All right.
Yeah.
Do I roll any modifiers for him for that?
Are you using...
I have one die.
I have one circle.
Does that mean I add a die?
No, it means you just get one die to roll and you take the highest score.
Do you want to use any objects or anything?
For what?
To help make your commanding more efficient.
I don't think so.
All right.
Go ahead and roll then.
And then there's zero die.
No, you have one die.
Okay.
Sorry.
It just...
All right.
Success.
A partial success.
I thought you only had one.
Yeah, you should only have one.
You said...
You told me to add...
I said zero die and you said add walk.
And then you said you'd pick from the tire.
Because you have one die.
If you have zero die, it rolls and you take the lowest.
If you have one die, you just roll one die.
I'm confused.
So, since you have one...
So, did you do command?
If you have one circle in command, you'll roll one dice.
If you had zero in command, it would roll two and then you'd take the...
It's like a disadvantage.
I see.
All right.
Sorry.
So, you just select command.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Four.
All right.
Well, you're able to...
Which ghost...
Sorry, are you commanding?
Probably the Sweepy ghost.
All right.
Go ahead.
Tell me what you tell him.
Uh, Sweepy.
And, uh...
Sweepy, like, stops...
He's, like, using his broom to rustle the nuts and he stops.
He's, like, stares at you.
I need you to go up a loft and set off some cannons and check on the weed monkey.
And he looks at you and he points up.
Yes.
Up.
Cannons.
Lots of noise.
Heat up.
Monkey.
Make sure he...
Okay.
Compel.
The ghost, uh, disappears into, like, a little green gas and you...
Don't hear anything for quite a while.
Uh, and then after a moment you hear just this huge explosion.
The whole boat rocks itself.
Uh, and you realize...
How do you like that, man?
Whoa!
There's, uh, screaming from up above.
General shouts and yelling.
Um, and the ghost comes back down and he's, like, I don't know about the monkey, but I...
I may have set off a cannon on the ship and it...
It may have backfired.
And then the ghost disappears.
Wait, hold on.
So the ship...
The lion's good.
No.
The monkey thing...
The ape thing is...
Is a little disconcerting.
I guess I never thought to ask...
What would he shoot?
Anything.
It's a distraction.
Uh, he did, however, uh, he...
The cannon backfired and by backfire, I mean it fell back onto the boat and definitely, uh, plunged a small hole into the boat.
The boat is now about to sink.
Oh, no.
Oh.
Where's the hole at?
Where's the monkey at?
It's...
It's and the monkey are both in the midship.
The cannon fell and, uh, kinda blew a hole in the midship.
So it is...
You're starting to take on water, but it's definitely a slow drip.
Oh, my God.
Right.
So you...
You can't linger, but you do need to leave.
Do the guards down here do anything?
Oh, they absolutely do.
Uh, they rush...
They hear the noise.
Oh, what is that?
They rush up.
You guys are deciding to hide it behind the hammocks, right?
Yeah.
Hammock hiding.
Uh, let's roll a group prowl, see how well you guys are hiding.
How do you do that?
Uh, everyone just rolls prowl.
Even me.
Right?
Okay.
Alright, looks like it's a five.
Five all around.
Uh, you, uh, the guards rush past you.
One of them definitely sees you, but at this moment, this ship has just been completely rocked.
They don't know what's happening, if they were hit by someone else or what.
So they are going to ignore you for now.
They know you're there, uh, and they've rushed to the midship.
Uh, the only one that still is down here is one other guy, uh, and you see him.
He is Lieutenant...
I don't get his name right.
Lightfoot?
Lieutenant Lightfoot?
Light Hall.
Lieutenant Lightfell.
Oh, Lightfell.
Lightfell.
Can't remember.
Lightfell.
I've been calling him something different every single time.
I'm so glad nobody caught on.
Uh, Lieutenant Lightfell.
I thought they were different people.
He's an old burly guard.
He is not shooken up in the slightest.
Um, he is the only thing now down here with you.
Well, and the captain, but...
Yar.
Oh, different captain.
Yar.
Alright.
Uh...
Well, I mean, let's just try to act cool and see if he stops us.
You just want to casually stroll by?
Yeah.
Super casual.
Like, alright, after you, buddy.
And I walk by and I'm gonna nod at him and try to keep walking by.
Like a sailor's nod.
I'm gonna follow.
Are you trying to convince him that you guys are all, uh, part of the ship?
Uh, kind of, implicitly.
I'm hoping he doesn't say anything as I continue to walk.
Bloody hell, boys!
What was that?
He sees you.
Oh!
I don't know him, but a simple cabin boy.
Just cabining it up down here.
I raise my hand to backhand slap, chuckles, and say, "Boy, cabin boy."
Ah!
Just show me where the leak is.
I don't...
It's probably upstairs.
Somehow.
I'm pretty sure we should check this deck out, too.
See if there's anything.
Okay, I...
It might be over by the prisoners.
Where are the prisoners, by the way?
Do you know, Lieutenant Lightfall?
I don't believe a goddamn thing you said.
First off, none of you are wearing your military uniforms.
None of you are in dress.
You look like a bunch of slabs.
I...
Maybe...
I don't like him.
Wait.
Can...
Can I...
Can I suggest perhaps there's a flashback in which we did put on uniforms?
Uh...
But maybe...
Maybe they're not the right uniforms.
But we...
We put on some type of sea uniform.
Can I suggest a...
Can I suggest a flash forward where I wreck this guy?
Okay, then we can decide.
Let's do this.
Um...
Tiger, go ahead and give me a single die roll.
And if you succeed, you guys are wearing the right, uh...
Uniforms.
But if I...
If I fail, can we still be wearing uniforms?
Yeah, but they're not gonna be the right ones.
Okay.
So this is basically if we got lucky and...
And picked the right color from the rack.
Well, in that flash...
In that flashback...
While you were sneaking around, can we say that you've...
Saw a crate of uniforms?
No, this was...
I was assuming this is during our preparation.
Oh, okay.
When we came on the boat and we were...
You know, we knew we were gonna have to have some kind of uniform because we were bluffing our way on.
Well, I was wearing my own uniform.
I'm always dressed to him.
Right, you will not take those off.
You're like a five-year-old in his Batman costume.
Yeah, in my red frock coat.
Yeah.
Whatever frock is.
You better frock and watch yourself.
Why did it...
I didn't see the roll.
I think you just hit zero die.
Oh.
You're gonna hit...
Just roll one.
Yeah, so if you hit that dice thing on the left...
Yeah, that's right.
But I had zero die.
Oh, that's good.
Let's go back to the partial.
Uh-oh.
Did you roll for yourself or did you roll for the captain?
No, I rolled for Juggles.
But, alright, can...
I say just narratively what happened with the uniforms.
Yes.
Alright.
I feel like in the flashback, we went to like a thrift store, like near the port where we knew there were gonna be a lot of uniforms.
And we bickered for a couple of minutes about which ones to get.
I was led into...
No, no, no.
I picked the blue uniforms because I thought they accentuated my body better.
And, uh, we were between two uniforms in particular.
And we...
I was saying red, but you decided to go blue.
We went blue because I won the, uh, the equivalent of the rock, paper, scissors contest.
Whatever it is in this universe.
Shoulder knee crotch.
Rock, paper, ghost.
No, I'm not.
Crotch.
Ghost and crotch.
Right?
So you're all wearing blue uniforms, but they're definitely not in blue.
They're in gray.
Which, uh, doesn't make any sense whatsoever.
I'm also wearing it over my red frock coat.
Yeah.
Right.
Uh, so yeah, he doesn't believe you in the slightest.
He's gonna pull out his sword.
Uh, I've had enough of this nonsense.
I hear this monkey upstairs.
There's a rocking in the boat.
I'm done with this.
Sorry.
Can I turn around and wreck him now?
Wreck him, Captain.
Yeah.
I'm gonna wreck him.
Wreck him.
Do I have any, do I have any modifiers?
I have one.
So can I, so just, just I roll one.
I have one dot for a wreck.
I think the, if you click on the actions and click wreck, it should take into account all of your proficiencies.
Oh, okay.
So I don't need to add a modifier?
No.
Oh, fuck me.
This game's really tough.
You, uh, you, you swing and try to hit him, but Lieutenant Lightfell is a strapping man and he's been in his fair, uh, fights.
Uh, so he dodges your blow and in returns pops you one right in the chin and you're gonna take a level one harm bruised chin slash ego.
His ego did need to come down a little bit.
I'm not even mad about that.
Um, just while you were, uh, doing that, Brandon, uh, just, or not Brandon, everyone, uh, the boat did sink a little bit more.
So you guys, it says lower deck guards.
I don't know how to change this right now.
Uh, but you have a eight level eight progress clock.
And, uh, when that thing is, uh, full, the ship's going down.
Do you guys see it?
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay.
I'm trying to try and change.
Oh, here we go.
Boats.
I changed it.
Uh, you have to get, if you double click, right click on it, you pull up the token itself.
Ah, okay.
Uh, they're, they're separate for some reason.
Okay.
Uh, well now we're kind of in a brawl.
Yeah.
Uh, he's definitely ready to brawl, but he's only punched Clyde.
Oh, I thought it was a button just pummeling him.
No, it was one indeed.
He, he, he, he, it's cause he sucker punched me.
Uh, well you rape your, him.
I got to.
Are you playing by the queen's rules, man?
No, I, I'm going to jump on his back.
And, and just hold him.
No.
Yeah.
It's just like, yeah.
Uh, well, I mean, try to like, cause cause it looked.
Cause cause it looked at least we're, I don't know if this is accurate on the map, but.
I'm just going to turn to face the captain.
So I'm just going to like jump and try to like grab onto him.
Um, just in like a dirty fight sort of way.
Okay.
That's kind of like a.
Like a.
Skirmish.
Um.
Yeah.
You're skirmishing with him.
So let's see how well you do.
I imagine my skirmish is very good.
I'm putting on my record.
I'm glad.
No, right.
Oh.
Okay.
Yeah.
Cause you had, you said you had zero, right?
I must.
Yeah.
So you start punching on him and you're beating him and you're kind of hitting him and it's definitely slowing him down.
Um, he's going to, he's got a level four damage here, uh, or for progress part.
So you definitely heard him and he's definitely slowed down and winded, but he goes and like Hulk, like,
throws you off and just like flings you.
Uh, so you're also going to take, uh, level one damage, bruised ribs and bruised ego.
Oh.
All right.
I'm going to pick up a rutabaga and throw it at him.
What is that going to do?
Well, I'm going to hurt him, hopefully.
All right.
Uh,
Uh, yeah, I guess, uh, is that like, are you doing it from a distance or pretty close?
Well, I don't know how far the, the rutabaga is.
So I would like to say distance.
Okay.
Um, I think that'd be kind of like hunt, you know, cause you're kind of using your, uh, your skills as a trained marksman or whatever you are since you're a scout.
A scout.
All right.
A scout.
Risky standard.
Yeah.
Oh boy.
Not good.
Uh, you miss, he picks up a rutabaga and he tosses it right back at you.
Bruised head, bruised ego, level one.
Although you don't take a level one harm.
So just take one stress.
Okay.
But I imagine it bounces off like the middle of your forehead and your eyes go cross and you fall down.
Yeah.
You chuck it at him and it just like, it, it just misses him and he stops and just right between the eyes.
This old man's the, this old man's the harder than the demon.
This is going great.
I think we're doing a great job.
So you guys have kind of formed a perimeter around him if you can kind of see.
So he's, uh, kind of bouncing between the three of you waiting for one of you to attack.
Um, I, uh, what's it called?
I can, I pull my rapier out and, uh, yeah, of course.
All right.
And I'm going to attack him with my rapier.
I'm just going to keep, you know what?
I keep failing.
I'm just going to keep trying over and over and over.
You know, what's that racket?
That's finesse.
Insanity.
Is that finesse?
It's finesse.
Cause like, you're not just like trying to hit him.
You're trying to like, actually like do things with some level of skill.
I'm going to finesse his guts all over the floor.
Finesse.
Yeah.
Finesse his guts.
All right.
Um, you tell me how you finesse his guts.
Oh, I, uh, I stab him right in the gut.
Uh, he's a pretty, pretty burly man.
He doesn't quite fall all the way to the ground.
My God.
No, he, he, you stab him and he gets on his knees.
I thought it was like, and he's put his arm up.
He's not dead, but you definitely have the best of him.
He's, uh, he's not going anywhere now.
I don't know.
He's like, when somebody stabs a sword at Superman, it just like bends against his stomach.
No, you, you jabbed him really good in the stomach.
If he doesn't get some medical attention, he is for sure going to die.
Oh, he's going to die when this boat goes under.
We got to get into a hospital.
He's going down with the ship.
Uh, I would like to grab.
I mean, if this is accurate, there are some pictures of barrels.
I'd like to hit him over the head with a barrel.
Oh, donkey cons style.
Yeah.
Uh, hold on.
Let's do that.
Uh, yeah, go ahead and, uh, I don't even think you need to roll anything for that.
He's so weak, but go ahead and do rec.
Okay.
And give yourself plus one because he's, give yourself plus one because he's, he will not see this coming.
No, yeah, he's, he's distracted.
Oh, that was, uh, you smash.
Uh, you smash.
Uh, you, uh, you take the barrel and you smash it over his head.
Lights out.
Lieutenant Farrell, Light Fell is gone.
His first name is Farrell?
Farrell Light Fell?
Oh, Light Fell.
I keep saying Lightfoot.
Um, if I could read you, my love, what a story my heart would tell.
He's definitely dead.
You definitely, uh, that was the killing blow.
Can I search his body?
The barrel though, not the sword.
So I can't be held accountable for his death.
That's good.
No one's seen this.
Uh, as you guys are staring, uh, at his, his dead body somewhere off in the distance, you hear the ringing of bells.
Oh no.
I want to search his body for, uh, the keys.
Do you hear that?
It's bells.
That's creepy.
Why are the bells ringing?
You guys have lived in this town longer than I have.
Why are the bells ringing?
Oh, could be, I mean, do I know why the bells are ringing?
Do I have a flashback?
Do you see?
The bells are ringing because every time somebody dies in, uh, Doscovel, they have to come and, uh, claim his body before he becomes a ghost.
And there are, uh, certain magical, uh, elements that notify the proper authorities and the bells are a reminder that that's what the bells are.
Why did you kill him?
Yeah.
Juggles, what were you thinking?
I thought that's what we agreed on.
You stabbed him.
I thought he wasn't dead.
He wasn't dead yet.
I thought that's what we were doing.
I thought we were going to kill him.
We gotta get out of here.
You don't understand what we just did.
Get out of here.
Okay.
Squish.
Squish wants to take his uniform.
Squish strips him, uh, mindful of the bloody mess that is now his, uh, head, uh, and, uh, takes his uniform.
Do you have any keys?
Yes.
This is sounding awful like Sergeant Turtle right now.
Yes, sir.
I search his pockets.
I can't even search him.
Does he have grenades?
Uh, I would like to...
No, no.
But he does have a sword.
I toss a sword at the captain.
Not at him.
What are you doing?
To him.
No.
He has to roll.
What end does he catch?
Yeah.
Yeah, roll your finesse, Brandon.
What end do you catch?
Do I have to?
Alright.
If he died because I threw a sword at him.
You catch it right at the end.
And you make a really cool maneuver.
I carve my initials into the wood.
What are your initials?
C-F-C.
T-G-K.
I would like to go...
Try to find the captain.
I assume he's under lock and key.
He is...
She is under lock and key.
Oh, she?
Shame on you.
Squish.
It's Dawn's hammer.
Oh, Captain Dawn.
She's Dawn.
Fair enough.
I thought that was his last name.
The boat is...
Is now a quarter of the way sunk.
But yes.
Um, so the captain is in the aft of the ship on the same level that you are.
Oh.
You need to find her.
Well, it's quite...
You're ahead.
Yeah.
Let's get to the back and uh, in the very back room, um, what looks like a brig.
It's got some bars on it.
You see Dawn.
Let me send you guys a better picture of Dawn.
Donder?
Dawn is a tall, broad-shouldered woman with a luxurious blonde beard, smoking a cigarette.
Is a woman with a beard?
It's a strange world, though, Scovel.
True, true, true.
I can't.
And she goes...
What now?
We're helping you get out?
Excellent.
Open the door.
What do I get out of it?
What are you talking about?
We're supposed to help them get out of here.
Listen...
I did.
Somebody...
And let me do it.
I feel like...
I feel like Squish got replaced by Sarn again.
I mean...
Listen, if I know my ship well enough, one of you just sent Shmere up to the top deck, and
that idiot, he never could load the cannons right.
Well, how do you think he died?
He was the cabin boy.
He was just swabbing the poop deck, and one time we have him go load the cannons, and he
backfires, and it hits him instead.
And if I'm not mistaken, that just happened.
This ship is sinking.
And I...
Do you want enough...
Do you want dead bodies on your hand?
Besides, my crew!
You've got one.
What's another couple?
I have to get out.
Okay, how many cigarettes do you have?
How many cigarettes do I have?
She opens up her pocket, and she's like, "I don't... I don't have... Oh!"
And she pulls out a cigar case.
She goes, "Will this work?"
You just forgot you had a cigar case?
Yes!
It was Dee Dee's birthday present.
Oh, okay.
I unlocked the cage then.
Don't you feel a little guilty taking that monkey's cigars away?
No.
My plan is to give the ape cigars.
That's brilliant!
We're gonna have a new crew member on the...
on the...
Soon enough.
Don walks out.
Don is a very tall, broad-shouldered individual.
Six-foot-tall, broad-shouldered big girl.
With a beard.
I am very amazed at her beard.
She kind of pushes you guys to the side and starts striding up to the...
forefront of the ship to go climb the ladder to go up front.
And she sees the light fell, and she just...
Asshole.
You're welcome.
I did that.
Now you're taking credit?
I'm just joking.
Just kidding.
Relax.
You could have your...
I...
I follow Don.
Who's taking the cargo?
Both me.
Both the two of us.
Uh, one wrinkle here.
Uh, we need this cargo.
All right.
Can you help?
Well, I can't really let you have it.
It was for...
Chef Roselle, and...
I'm gonna need to own up my ship.
I'm gonna need something to...
You know Chef Roselle?
Gotta pay me back for something.
Of course I know Chef Roselle.
I know Chef Roselle.
She's my best friend.
Chef Roselle.
Oh!
She's who sent us.
Are you working?
You're working for her?
Yeah, she sent us to save you from this ship.
Did you say something?
And she takes the cargo in one hand over her shoulder, rips open the ladder, and starts climbing the ladder one hand in.
What a woman!
I screwed.
And I go, dibs.
Uh...
All right.
So you're gonna make your way up to the midship.
Uh, maybe we should take a break.
Uh, I'll get all your pieces set up, 'cause there's a shit ton of people up here right now, so...
Oh, boy.
Squish.
Good thing she doesn't know that...
Roselle did not mention her at all.
Yeah.
What's the word on this one?
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
what about it
it's called mick said he got his too
i was probably wondering who's his best-selling author yeah best-selling
and i'm taking my time because i'm moving around
you'll forget about me after i've been gone
and i'll take what i find
just outside of your front door
meow meow meow meow meow meow
do i hear meow
you know what they say where there's cats there's cat food
oh he's getting excited now do any of the crates have cat food in them
unfortunately i feel like caviar is as close to cat food as you're going to find
on this particular ship you've said that fancy ass cats but i don't think that's true
could be not true
that's the opposite of true
got you there
huh
she gone no i'm back i'm just messing with my camera
hold on now i'm
rotated this lieutenant she's gone forever forever forever forever baby
junk boys oh
yes i much prefer junk boys over
i can't remember what another one how about the how about the bill rat
buddies
build rat
what is a bilge
it's where we're hanging out right now sewage
no it's where the water goes in the ship it's the bilge
the water stays out of the ship
all the time it's definitely flooding where you guys are
um so i just i just googled this too
it says the area on the outer surface of a ship's hole where the bottom curves to meet the vertical
sides
that's where the rats live
i'm really doubting your ability to be a captain
how's that a character
but i agree with you
as brandon i agree with you
ah ship so big
all right well you guys uh come up to the uh mid-shift you're in the forward section
are we bringing any boxes with us
oh no no don's got one
do we need to take more
are you so all you had to get was the caviar okay uh if you want to take more you are more than
welcome to you could take home do you want a boxer to begas to take home
uh a little like a little trick bag
uh are you are neither of you are like or any of you i guess are like particularly giant people
you're all pretty normal sized right
uh squish maybe is bigger i'm art demon
i'm scrolling i'm pretty sized i'm all sized
uh the two of you probably could carry one
oh no i'm not that worried about rutabagas
yeah you'd have to carry them together
i thought it was crandall
crandall
okay i i follow up the ladder
all right you guys are in the the four of the ship um and this time because you know you're
paying a little bit more attention you can see that there are uh three other people locked away in
rooms there's ernst turn it and pee way
are we supposed to be on the half or the second
oh are you guys hold on yep there you go
oh here we are oh i see i remember this up here now
and they're locked away
yep they're in uh rooms they can uh they can see you and they they see the captain ernst in
particular ernst is a really tall heavy set guy broad shoulders older man and he goes huh
captain dawn finally we tried yelling to these guys but they definitely didn't hear us or maybe we
we weren't yelling too loud doesn't matter come let us out
squish i believe you have the keys
hey go and open the doors
but not to pee way
uh
all right you too
silly son of a bitch
pee way is a very thin tall man and half of his face is very disfigured and he's like what
why would you i gotta pick on me i didn't know you were disfigured now i feel bad
so i didn't meet it we know why he's i turn to captain and go he's our scapegoat
uh never mind pee way he's our he's our new cabin boy after the well after the accident you know
it's sleepy it's schmear schmear schmear he was a good man didn't know how to load a cannon though
good ghost though takes orders well well he was a good man he took orders too he just was dumb
all right well let's see and uh dawn starts counting she goes
five six well there's six of us and uh she looks into the middle section of the ship where you guys can
just kind of see uh through the down the steps there the four guards from below are now up there
so there's eight guards uh four of them are desperately trying to keep water out of the ship
they're uh bucketing taking buckets and tossing the water hold on there we go
and four of them have dd cornered in the back of the ship uh you know swords pointed in his direction
uh and he is just wild and crazy eyed and dawn goes oh my poor dd can't believe they treat him like this
you're supposed to be getting him to stop smoking boys who gave him one what why was that you squish a box of
cigarettes or cigars listen he can have his vices but he needs to know when and where is appropriate
to smoke you can't be smoking on the ship all the time it's made of wood wood with explosive material on
it i didn't exactly he needs to know when and where all right well can i grab the the box uh or the the humidor
the door the box of cigars from dawn yeah go ahead and take them all right and then
i start waving my hands around frantically in the air and then like i hold up the box and i open it
to show the cigars inside to dd hopefully i get dd's attention i feel like that's that scene from uh
that one show or that one movie where uh uh what's his face is holding up the stereo oh john
john cusack yeah it's like a song 16 candles holding up yeah well is it that's not 16 candles is it no
it's one of those 16 candles but i've never seen 16 at any rate the point is there it's yeah dd sees
you and he sees the cigars but uh as he tries to kind of push forward the four guards holding him kind of
push him back towards the uh back of the ship um they don't see you yet i'm gonna go run over and try to
save dd all right how would you like to save dd um i'm gonna do a flashback okay do when i was in the
kitchen bake preparing a meal earlier i grabbed it was like a sachet of chili powder why and
well can i finish all right and i would like to open it up and throw it in the air over the guards
but why would you bring chili powder
for this reason because it's tasty and you can use it as a distraction have you ever got chili powder in
your eyes uh no but also squish has it is painful so he just carries around chili powder and then
throws it up into the air what is that gonna blow into his face this is a flashback yeah it's like
it just imagine he pocketed some chili powder yeah he took he took a sachet of chili powder listen
tiger you've never obviously never stolen anything before it's not really but there's no sense to it
well i'm i'm just a little confused on that character it's not character do you know the flashback is when i'm
cooking i'm just i just see i'm looking at the shelf of spices i'm looking at onion powder garlic powder
tarragon dill chili powder huh that hurts when it gets in your eyes so i take it i put it in my pocket
all right this will make a good distraction and you've thrown it in the air at them threw it in the air
all over them and go oh my god there's another hole and i point up so they all look up all right uh
let's see what your finesse is like so you don't get your own eyes burned out that's true risky standard
yeah kind of seems desperate all right let's make it desperate
oh that is that is in my eyes too uh you turn and the uh the guards manage to avoid the chili powder
but you definitely get chili powder oh they avoided it
uh all right i'll i'll agree with you one of them gets chili powder straight up in the eyes he's down
he's crying uh he's trying to rub his eyes out the rest of them notice what's happening and back up pretty
quickly um and uh you definitely get some in your eyes too so boys boys i need help i got a level one
uh uh uh burned eyes i guess what about his ego all right well i don't take level one so another oh
that's right yeah so you just take a stress okay i'm also wriggling around on the floor cigars strewn about me
oh my god this backfired so bad guys i need help boys help me
help
um
um what do you how do you guys respond well i would like to eat some milk
oh does anybody have milk you can milk me is there a cow on this boat
um i think i would still be hanging back because you know i'm kind of small so i'm not rushing into
stuff um i am i rotating oh that's me i'm so sorry you've been rotating you've been rotating
everything i know it's because i'm trying to like zoom in and if i don't press the right thing it just
rotates someone oh there's a setting for that you can change i have to change that yeah um
i think uh i it did make sense that i was rotating because i'm rolling around on the ground because i
yeah there you go i have to i have to lock all of the tokens because otherwise
all of your all the players will just keep rotating themselves this is a problem for us in the past
we did a lot a lot of uh
uh
uh don't uh captain so chuckles you're saying back captain uh yeah but i but i was gonna say that
is there something that i can finnick with like in the back
that like maybe if i loosen some ropes it would dislodge and swing towards
people in a damn yeah there's a there's a lot being held up on top of the ships by like netting
um so if you want to like kind of tinker with that and cut it you might be able to drop
a lot of uh material onto their heads that's what i want to do like a looney tunes cartoon
all right that's looney tunes all right uh yeah so tinker right that's
oh you've gone kind of quiet okay no that was me sorry tinker right yeah
all right tinker away at those ropes tinker them ropes all right damn right
uh you tinker on the ropes and uh all of a sudden two of the guards look up
just in time to see these bags of miscellaneous
i don't know root vegetables oranges
rutabagas
they're suspended in the air
they're they need to be kept you know above sea level uh and uh
we are all above sea level by definition we're on a boat
for now oh right
we're a quarter way to sunk
more than that it appears
uh well this is for the midship guards you've taken two of them out
with your shenanigans so two are left uh
uh
shipping or what do they call that bailing water uh three are left dd is no longer uh
uh held back uh he's he's alive and he makes a run for the cigars that's that squish dropped
yeah but squish but squish is covered in the cigars so now he's being molested by this monkey
cigars and chili powder
uh as you guys uh watch the uh frenetic frenzy in front of you you realize the uh the water is
definitely up to shin deep now oh
should be on the boat what is dawn doing this whole time and where are my other we're peewee
p-way
help help p-way
i released you
are you commanding p-way to come and save you it's more of a plea but sure
a plea command all right there's sway is that different than there's sway which is like you
can convince them like being like kind of like convincing yeah i'll try to sway p-way or ernst or
darn it the crew any of them i just i just want help all right go ahead and sway them
oh boy
captain do you do you know any of these men no sir no i do not uh
but the cat yeah the captain they're ernst and the uh the rest of the boys aren't going to come
help you they definitely heard you make fun of peewee
fair enough
i deserve that
captain uh clive you got any ideas are there any ghosts around
uh so there's the well
schmears upstairs he uh blew out the uh he's the one who made the hole in the midship
oh i thought he disappeared
yeah
well that's right he disappeared
he's he's he's a gas uh there are two down below uh there is one that was banging on the uh
on the uh door uh and there was one i think just milling about somewhere
i want to call the one that's banging on the door and see if he can come help us out
like fight for me you want to command him yeah i'm all out of ghosts
what command that ghost command that ghost
command is it do i have to tune with him first or not the command
no i think you guys have a special ability where you can already see the ghosts you don't have to
all right and then it's regular command okay and roll well yeah you did a tune last time too
of course the ghost does not hear you
uh he uh he ignores you and uh in the meantime the guards that were now have now lost all interest
in squish and they are rounding up on the rest of you you mean they've ignored the writhing in pain
and cigars squish they're they don't think he's a threat anymore ignoring them they're they're not the uh
uh the five that are left have seen the five of you and they know what to do they're about to charge
uh captain uh lightweight
like fell yeah oh what he's dead oh yeah i got his uniform no that's no that's uh oh that is captain dawn
yeah uh what what are we gonna do here i feel like maybe we ought to come up with a plan
i mean are you guys are you guys fighting fighting sailors or
but i don't know much about you actually now that i think about it are you just
are you just simple truckers of the sea aside from what rosell chef roselle told us about oh yeah
no she went way on about you but it was mostly about your your beard
beard uh yes she loves you captain dawn said uh looks at her crew and she looks at you too and
she goes boys this is our ship we can't just let them take it and uh she says this is uh this is dawn's
hammer and this and she pulls out a large hammer from her side it's my hammer and she charges in
oh i'm gonna climb to fight them you're gonna climb the mast yeah i'm gonna
no you're on the second level there's no mast what does that mean this this mid-level doesn't have a
mass the mass is on the top that's a big hole where the sails are oh so we're still in okay so we're
inside you're still inside the ship ah okay i just saw this all right so um she uh don't climb the
dawn and the rest of her crew are gonna engage these uh these guards in combat and keep them
distracted for a while while you three figure out your next maneuver okay so squish would like to now
that the water is you said it was shin deep yep oh that's right so you're wet yeah i'm gonna wash off
the chili powder from my eyes yeah but it's salt water it's better than chili powder
i stand up because i'm wearing lieutenant light fell's uniform and go as lieutenant light fell i demand
all of you to attack p way to attack that man the disfigured man what
he's a scapegoat
let's do let's try it see if you sway him oh boy
i mean i think they're gonna i mean i don't know if one uniform is gonna sway them that he's lieutenant
lightfoot he's red and a demon
definitely desperate
oh i don't can i get a modifier for the the uniform yeah minus three one for the uniform
plus one yeah you can get plus one for the uniform but it is a very desperate risky maneuver
yeah
uh
it works uh a few two of let's just say three of them uh start attacking poor little p way uh
the uh the rest of the gang kind of go to defend him instead um there's still two guards though that
uh one goes towards captain and chuckles the other one who's not quite convinced and
a hangs back by you squish
then i got dd right there
oh that's right dd can fuck shit up yeah dd and probably has a poor relationship with captain light fell
let's see dd uh dd's gonna we're gonna see what dd does we're gonna just roll a random die
does she does she think that squish is
eat
oh boy
uh dd does not
doesn't attack the guard doesn't attack squish either uh dd's too busy focusing on the cigars to do
much of anything
uh don is gonna come uh come out and says i can't believe you did that to peeway
poor little peeway he's so disfigured
chuckles captain you guys got uh i'm gonna try commanding that ghost again
because i am having i'm having a fucking uh like a a cock block of magic right now this has not been
fair at all
okay that's both in character and out of character god damn it
that's in character too it's like god damn you ghost oh baby
all right uh
so this this guy's gonna fight us huh
yep uh he uh
i must find him for the two of you
um
all right that's the way you want it then uh that's the way you'll get it and i will engage in combat
that's how he wants it that's how he gets it
how would you uh how would you like to fight him oh dirty
oh okay how do you fight him dirty uh i'm gonna go right first legs
throw a rutabaga at his junk yeah i'm just gonna try i'm just gonna try to tackle his legs i mean
i don't have the physical prowess i gotta be
slimy
all right um so yeah i guess that's a skirmish throw see how well you do
is that the only so let's say i wanted to just and i just wanted to box him like is that a
different role i guess it'd be more that'd be more like finesse uh if you want to like actually
fight clean okay no this is definitely more of a skirmish you don't want to follow the marcus of
doomsbury rules yes i i know why you know that uh from uh let me guess from uh from uh mike tyson yeah
yeah but did you know marcus or yeah he's the guy the guy who was on the team but is technically
the guy who invented that yeah boxing yeah yeah all right that's kind of boxing bare knuckle yeah
oh dear oh well wait hold on hold on you rolled it under squish
well mine is just as bad so you have you have none on skirmish and skirmish no okay i also have
none in skirmish so it would have been the same anyway okay thanks uh so you take the what you didn't
roll very well did you hold on no uh yeah no uh pretty spectacularly actually you go to you go to uh
lunge for him uh and he kicks you really really hard your bruised ribs are now cracked ribs oh that's
clinical okay does that mean it's second level now yeah i would just make it second up can i throw a
lightning hook on the guy who just kicked squish or not squish uh uh chuckles yeah isn't lightning rods for
ghost i mean it's still electric and it's still electric and it's still have a hook on it and
you're all in water oh he's gonna zap everyone jump i can't yeah
needy climb uh let's see throw your finesse and see how well you hook him
you should have two for finesse should i or wait is it only one as i only have one dot for finesse
oh okay uh you manage to to grab him but in doing so you give everyone a mild electric shock uh
everyone's gonna take two stress
oh boy
just enough to kind of wake you up wakey wakey it really pushes that chili powder out of your
out of your eyes yeah yeah squish you were just you were running on uh salt water chilly eyes and now
you're electrified
it's fine
my ribs i think are broken
they're not broken you're being a baby but they hurt so bad and now i'm zapped
they're bruised and the zapping is good for you it means it keeps you alive
don is gonna try and help you out we're gonna roll random see how don does
eh don's able to take out one guard uh one that's attacking peeway
she smashes him with her hammer how dare you attack my peeway
man she really loves peeway it's only she showed the same affection except what did she love dd as
much as peeway it's she got him cigars for his birthday it's almost like peeway is dawn's son
is it i don't know that's what it seems like i always thought she was a lesbian
it's the beard the water is still rising it's now up to your knees yeah we gotta go
is dawn still carrying the caviar for us no she dropped that right by the ladder
ah okay uh so we got what four guards left four guards waters halfway up the ship or half it's up to
your knees all right i'm gonna throw a chef's knife out of my roll it's in my i'm gonna say it's in my load
okay uh i'm just imagining you uh there in the course of this game turning into like uh like a
chef-based assassin like it's been the whole time i know but it's like yeah it's definitely more
impaired more a chef's assassin yeah it's like like any of those old james bond films where the
guy's just chopping away and all of a sudden he pulls a blender out of his back pocket and he's
kind of blending people up but it's more like the uh the scene in kill bill where he gets mad
hattori hanzo gets mad just throws the knife in the wall and it goes onto the metal the magnet
uh so yeah i'm gonna throw that at a guard i thought you were gonna say all right p way
no no no no he's got enough troubles in his life
and everyone else loves p way
oh uh sorry that's a hunt throw hunt okay
okay
i i'm just looking for so my load is correct i wanna yeah but throwing knives and
okay
all right uh you hit the guard and he goes down hit him in the back
you're welcome p way don't forget this which part
you are i killed a guy oh there should be so many bells going off
these guys are down uh they're not necessarily out oh okay um but they're not getting back up
uh for any time soon so uh there are three guards left there's one with captain and chuckles there's
still one kind of in the uh near squish uh there's one dawn p way turn turn it and ernst take him on
he uh let's just i'm gonna do it
oh
shit these guys are useless um
they're keeping this other guy engaged but they are definitely taking a little bit of damage
especially poor tarnet who's not very uh very much of a fighter that's fine save p way
you yeah you went from and chuckles
captain we need to tag team this guy get out of your ghost world the ghosts aren't going to help
you you have to stay here in the real world i'll get behind him and you push
all right two rapiers no we're going fucking slapstick on this can't fuck that i'm doing it
yeah teamwork makes a dream work yes
yar
are you gonna do the classic one of you bends over and the other one pushes him yeah yeah
all right roll a team finesse roll all right
you do it you push the guard over uh he goes toppling behind you uh he breaks his leg and the two of
you are now free to to go help your friend yeah the gang green got him presumably
scurvy scurvy the gang green gang yeah all right and then uh yeah yeah
we we run what we go out into the what is that the mid deck
yeah well you're in the mid ship but if you want to go in like the center area yeah all right
yellow why did you not come when i was calling for you i needed help i did help you remember i
crushed those guys i thought that i thought that mass was gonna fall on you
what mass well whatever it is that i unhooked that fell earlier all the ropes storage you and the
storage oh yeah it was rutabagas i thought that would have helped you
it didn't well okay but i tried i tried why are you covered in chili powder it's a long story
some kind of taco
squish uh
uh squishy uh dd has gathered up all of his cigars and he kind of comes walking over with his little
chimp feet and he starts handing them out to you guys oh my god are we celebrating this is amazing
oh but this is so sweet are we celebrating these these these wet wet cigars dd are you pregnant
uh there's still one uh one guard uh left between the the four of you and then one that uh tarnest ernst
piway and uh don are taking care of
all right all right i take it out
guard so yeah we'll have to
fight i guess it's three on one at this point unless squish isn't fighting anymore
no but i was going to suggest that that me and juckles go get the caviar
and just leave
and let captain deal with the guard
i mean he can keep the boat right
we don't care about the boat
no
so what captain are we talking about because i'm
the i thought you're talking about i thought you're talking about dawn
no me and you should go get the the caviar and leave the captain to die
he's got dd he's gonna try to summon another ghost every time we turn around he's trying to
summon another ghost he's not doing a very good job today he's got to learn his lesson the ghost
the ghost weather is poor today i try to summon another ghost
all right
that same one i just look over right after
chussell says that and go yeah you're right let's let's stay and melt this poor bastard
i'm having some kind of midlife crisis i think that's what the point of my character is going
through right at this point in the game because what the hell
every time i try to do something cool in front of my new friends
every time i try to do something cool
so are you guys going back to the the uh four of the ship and you're going to grab the
loot no i'm going to summon a ghost
okay no i'm not something and it goes i hate ghosts i don't even believe in ghosts really
which is the central tension between me and the captain yes i start walking back i
i said excuse me peewee right behind i walk towards the the crate that was dropped
i mean they're still fighting that that guy and they're fine they got
oh boy wow they really they're not doing that was an awful roll
peewee goes down peewee's injured and you just uh you hear don go no peewee and this is finally
summon dd from his slumber
oh what the
dd goes absolutely apeshit he grabs the guard nearest to him uh drags him down into the salt water and just
starts thrashing him into the ground monkey style like a coconut just bashing his head in oh my god it's
like travis the chimp remember that oh my goodness he gives his mighty chimp scream
and he runs and he grabs the final guard next to you next to uh peewee and destroys him as well with a
quick just jab uh with his mighty chimp teeth uh and is now the right all of you are just watching this
horrific scene as this ape is eating the crap out of this poor man oh my god
i want dd to come with us
i don't think i do that thing's gonna kill us in our sleep we are not gonna be able to wrangle that thing
you just need cigars and luckily he gave me one
uh i don't think it's a good idea i think he is a wild card and we already have a wild card
we can't have two wild cards it's too many wild cards it's so fun though all right let's grab the case
all right and the monkey
ape all right all right come on all right i will grab the caviar with you
okay we grab the caviar
grab the caviar and uh captain
uh yeah i'm going with i guess
okay you guys go up to the uh top deck
is there more guards up here yeah there's the ones that you guys started with
now they have heard all of this ruckus
and rumors uh what they're not expecting is for the four three of you to come out
sopping wet carrying a bag of caviar and followed closely behind you is a giant woman uh two
with a beard with a beard uh two rugged looking sailors
and a and a maniac chimp two monkeys
just one monkey uh there's four of them
and what eight of you something like that
so they're gonna just jump off the ship
i
yeah we should give them a mean look
okay you're just gonna mean mug them yeah
roll for me my my mean mug is pretty bad because my eyes are bloodshot
yeah but you have sharp teeth
sharp teeth bloodshot eyes my eyes are typically white but now it's just veins of red
going through them give me your best uh give me your group
sways roll uh squish you can get an advantage because you look like
ouch ouch ouch you just said you look terrible
i did say that
all right
brandon you too i did already no
oh you did okay so we got we got a six
you got a six one of them jumps off immediately he's gone
well hold on it's a five well all right this brings up an interesting point
because captain doesn't have any sway so it's
do we do we go with this two or my five your five you go with the highest which is five
did everyone's roll captain yeah i thought it did yeah yeah no captain
but he has a six and a two because he has nothing in sway so do we go with the two or do since he
rolled the six no you know i would say we'd go with the two because he's like we take the
in his case you take the lowest so yeah it would be a two um i'm gonna say that uh
you still have one of them who jumped ship but there's still three and they don't even
give it a second notice they just uh start attacking you uh one of them goes for uh
uh dawn one of them's gonna go for the captain and one of them because squish you are fairly
terrifying one of them goes for chuckles are they oh
oh
um i'm on top of the ship right can i use okay so can i use this thing called tempest that i have
i guess what do you what does it do it says i can push myself to do one of the following unleash
a stroke of lightning as a weapon uh summon a storm in your immediate vicinity like torrential rain
roaring winds heavy fog chilling frost snow etc okay so you're gonna basically summon a bunch of
lightning and and uh strike everyone or strike your enemies yeah strike my with the one guy coming at me
okay yeah so uh go ahead and roll wreck and then because you push yourself you get one extra die
all right and a stress and a stress and a stress
what's a stress
when you push yourself you take one stress but then you get a bonus die okay so this one it's just
roll rack and then plus one die yeah so you should roll two all right i'll add this stress to your sheet
uh you manage to uh hit the guard closest to you but because you are still covered in uh
lightning or covered in water you do shock yourself as well uh but not chuckles miraculously
not chuckles miraculously so you're gonna take an extra stress
to your stress yeah
well i tried
uh
the guard closest to dawn um i'm just gonna have everyone beat up on him uh dawn ernst and then turnt
well my my plan was to i what i wanted to do was kind of like attack that guard
sure go ahead okay
one of my however you'd like to my throwing knife
all right so that'll be a a hunt okay
all right uh you you hit him um he doesn't go down all the way since it's a
partial um but he's definitely weakened and uh is not gonna follow you if you guys decide to abandon ship
no i want to yell at dawn and go go downstairs and get p way
what is your obsession with p way
because now i'm now i'm convinced that it's her it's dawn's son
and he might be the hammer
go get p way i got this handled she's gonna uh rush down the stairs to go grab p way
p way
chuckles
uh so i'm being attacked
uh yeah he's charging you okay um i don't think i've described any of my load but i think
something that i could have
is
that you do have
right uh i'm gonna say i have knives in my boots
okay
sneaky cam boys
yes exactly and i'm gonna
like crouch like i'm like like i'm getting ready to
like take him as he's rushing me and then surreptitiously grab this knife and i'm gonna just
shank him
okay so like a finesse so you're kind of like whipping it out and like shoot you know i'm not
gonna throw it cutting him right as you know but like right as he's coming at you you know it
takes a similar amount of skill yeah so go ahead and throw finesse all right
oh you bastard
you drop the sword uh and the guard kicks it away from you
good thing i have more than one
all right so then i guess i i just have to start fighting with my fists
uh sure you can do that um before you do um dawn comes rushing back up the uh the stairs and in
her arms she has p way she's carrying him kind of you know bridal style p way's not looking great
but he's not dead and she goes hey you were good to me p way she kind of shakes him a little bit
how tragic
wait why did we bring that dead boy up here no he's not dead right not yet oh boy
uh the guard that's closest to you squish he's starting to stand up trying to regain uh
uh his footing uh he you did pretty you've cut him with a knife though so he's pretty weakened
all right um oh i guess i'll just
i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna punch him
okay hold on hold on let me check my load because i think i've got
i did a normal load
so i'm gonna i'm gonna again roll out my knife kit and pull out a chef's knife
all right chuck it how many chef's knives do you have
because he can have six up on his uh his load i think he's only used three three
risky yeah uh yeah oh sorry no yeah you're right uh you hit him he goes down uh and somewhere in
the distance you hear the bells again oh oh that one's on me guys
oh wow you killed someone even though we agreed we would never kill anyone because
now i think the big daddies are coming out to steal the souls
they're soldiers soldiers
uh captain uh captain clive what are you doing i just got electrocuted so um i'm not really sure what
what i'm doing i'm a little shocked
oh it's for serious uh yeah i don't know what i'm doing um what's the situation around me what i'm
else what am i looking at uh so you're down to one guard who's trying to beat up on chuckles
uh squish just killed a man the other the two other guards are not guards the other sailors besides p way
are just uh just kind of mulling about dawn's carrying p way uh and uh dd hasn't done anything
i'm gonna sell on a ghost i gotta keep i gotta keep trying why did you even ask what was going on you
were just gonna summon a ghost just to make sure
i think it's safe to say that like every other every other session we have
his captain's gonna roll good bad good bad i'm imagining that he's going like like this with his
fingers and just smoke and like nothing is coming out just like that's exactly how it feels and i
just coming out of his coming out i swear this has never happened before it's just yeah i've been
under a lot of stress lately right you know it's been such a long time yeah it's worth a lighter
food completely limp fingers completely limp fingers that's kind of yeah you know it works because i go
get i get count dooku fingers which is like
that's how you know it works but it's not it's just limp
uh okay i need to fix that what is wrong with that i need to like maybe next time i xp up i gotta
fix that because that's not what is what do you have to roll for some for somebody in ghosts
man so if he wants to just a tune yeah to command them because you can already see them so his
attune is pretty good um but yeah it's commanding them so command and attune is what you'll need
yeah but at this point i got yeah well if we ever get out of this we're gonna work on you we're gonna
work on training your command thank you i appreciate me and you we'll go we'll just go to the gym
and just do commands you and me you and him yeah because i gotta tell you this is real sad i got i
gotta imagine like i'm just sitting there on the ground like kind of like with my legs all
sprawled out kind of like with my arms like like wet and just like really like pathetic just get a tonic
like oh i'm having such a rough time chuckle cut uh dd kind of wanders over to you and just kind of
pats you on the head oh thanks that's that's great but my bruised ribs are now cracked ribs and i'm
losing this fight uh so unless you got another soggy cigar or you know something else cool
um are you trying to tell dd to do something no i am not talking to that monkey i gonna try
stabbing again i am not talking to that monkey try finessing him again with your stab
there can be only one small hairy person in this in this crew and that's squish and that's squish
squish isn't small though right no it's ironic i see squish uh my stab is unsuccessful yet again
he uh dodges your blow and uh manages to kind of slap you upside the face uh
uh
i go ahead and take uh level two uh i don't know stung cheek actually you know just take an extra stress
stung cheek
level two stung cheek and what about my ego also stunned i still bruised it's cracks now
oh that's true
crack your ribs that are cracked
they're all right squish is done with this
he's just gonna he's just gonna pull the fly pin out of his ass oh that's it yeah he pulls out a
rolling pin from inside his coat jacket pulls out a giant fucking pizza uh pan
he's just gonna throw every single knife he has at this last card and a stone
all right
cheese grater
go ahead and throw your hunt give yourself an extra extra bonus for throwing all of what you got at him
turned out he had a potato peeler in his sock i mean it just starts just peeling the skin
face in the face
the guard goes down he's dead the bell tolls again
you guys are fucking useless
that's not true
you can't summon a ghost you can't stab someone that's right next to you
i don't call myself the stabbing pirate
no because you haven't stabbed anything
right there could be a rutabaga sitting in front of you you wouldn't even eat it
you don't need to stab a rutabaga you can just eat it right off the cob
that we have to have a talk later
that is that is not how rutabagas work what is a rutabaga by the way it's a root vegetable oh
uh it's like a jicama i'm not sure i know what a rutabaga it's the opposite of a
i'm not sure i know what a rutabaga i'm glad you're still with us captain clyde
because a rutabaga is bad mannered all right i'm glad you're still with us
uh captain clyde
and the last bell kind of tolls uh you guys look around at the general carnage around you the boat
is definitely listing to one side uh there are a couple of dead guards on the ground if one that jumped off one
that's just laying there and hoping you guys don't notice that he's not moving um
and uh
dawn looks at you and looks around her ship and she goes
well shit
that was rough yeah uh your boat isn't completely sunk yet
no i i suppose it is in port we can definitely uh
try to repair before she goes down completely oh good you got it all taken care of all right
well we'll see you later and then we grab
we grab the caviar and leave
as you guys start to leave dd follows you for a second and looks at you longingly from the uh from
the port
and i just look at dd and nod my head like come on you silly scams come on
so
we're gonna steal their monkey
yeah uh first off he's an ape second off yes
yeah i mean we sank their boat and we're
skirting the part where we help them fix the boat
and we're stealing their monkey
no he's with the crew though
they're gonna think the monkey went down with the ship
no they can see us
steal the monkey dd before he like leaves completely he looks back at captain
dawn who just nods to him and says you're your own man now dd your debts repaid
okay i'm gonna have to have a conversation with
about money management
turns out the monkey's got a fucking gambling problem too that we didn't know about but that's for future
that's for future installments
it turns out the the fucking what turn what if the monkey's got like it in with loan sharks
they're always trying to come over and just like break his legs
well they gotta come to the junk fort to get him
yeah
that's where we live
yeah i love it
but we got a maniac
ape
yeah we got a fucking uh we got a secret weapon up our hands you know
we can go all noogler on him
but things get bad you know you can always count on the monkey
it's pronounced noogler
noogler
you mean it's noogler well that's not a word but yes
all right well how are you guys taking this caviar back to
chef rosell you just going to carry it through town
yeah i've greatly well i think maybe we're taking turns
because i mean it's a two-man job to carry this caviar right so
we have to keep rotating who's carrying it
yeah
one of you just sits on it while the other two carries it i can see that
chuckle's just sitting on it while
poor captain
while dvm can't carry the crate of caviar
quit whipping us
or i will i'll sick the monkey on you
you can't summon a ghost
i can summon the monkey
no no the monkey's mine
i'm sorry the ape is mine
well then i'll ask you politely squish to stick the monkey on him because he's whipping us
we'll cross that bridge
we are crossing a bridge
after much uh bickering you make your way to the golden plum and chef rosell is still there in the back and
surprisingly she's surprised to see you i didn't think you guys would make it back
you didn't believe in us a little little confidence you have in us not only did we come back with the caviar we got an ape
that is a health code violation
he's not cooking
he is in the kitchen
we're not serving food
well not yet but with your guys's help with your fine help uh we'll be able to soon uh thank you guys so much and she goes to kind of take the box from you
can she carry it with with one hand or by yourself
no but she definitely doesn't want the uh the monkey in her restaurant much longer
i was gonna say it was gonna be very emasculating if
she just goes yep and just picks up the crate and wants it
she is a powerful woman
yeah if i uh
well i suppose i owe you something uh she opens up the crate she manages to get a big crowbar and just
opens up the crate and uh hands you each uh a can of caviar and even gives one to dd
who great who greedily eats it immediately
just rips it open sucks it in
100 up he is gonna have a stomach issues tonight
yes um
he's gonna be shitting in our junk for it
well that's why we have a poop food
good thing we got the hole
yeah see it all comes around it all came back around full circle
i'm not even gonna talk about the poop shoot
i never agreed to that
nobody agreed to it but it's there
you know what i said
a poop shoot it just happens to you
i mean
it did
yeah
we woke up after hearing some song
and
poop shoot
i think i i think i i think i got a critical on that role
we didn't roll for poop shoot
wait i also think i go to chef rosell and go i also think there was mention of
drapes
being involved in this deal
we did all right
talk about drapes i wrote it down
take as many you know what take as many drapes as you like they're thick and velvet and red and luxurious
and they were very expensive but you can take as many as you like
you know
and and and free
yes that was implied
and free
you big idiot
the
the draper boys
no
the drapists
so much better than
because i didn't see it coming i thought you're gonna be like no
then you did that and you totally outdid yours
you know for socially acceptable i would cover myself in velvet
so as you guys leave you have uh
towing behind you a monkey and carrying armfuls of drapes red drapes
and caviar
and caviar a pocket a can of caviar in your pocket
are these can't caviar worth like
one coin
yeah if you sold them you'd definitely make some money
well okay what did you said offhandedly that it was one can was worth three months wages
yeah that's one coin
okay
i think
yeah
we'll say that we'll say uh each can is worth one coin
okay
so you have four coin or four cans
of caviar
yeah but zip
or i mean dd ate his
no i i took it out of dd's hand
before his teeth penetrated the tin
yeah
that seems about right
you guys make yourself all the way home to the junk fort
you still haven't decided how to get back into it but dd doesn't have a problem
he just manages to uh
zip zap his way in there
climb right up the poop chute
climbed right up the poop chute
and made himself at home in your drapes
i do i take one of the drapes and make a bed out of it
what
we have so many drapes i made a bed out of it
how do you make a
you mean a blanket
you fold it up a lot
you fold it up a lot and then you have like one flap open that covers you as the blanket
so it's a sleeping bag
essentially
except with uh more layers
yeah
so there's come there's you know
cushion
okay so i'm not just sleeping on a hardwood floor next to a
hole that we poop into are we
don't remind me are are we splitting the drapes three ways or are we splitting it four ways
or did you take all of the drapes
um
i took all of them
wow
you can convince me to do something with the other drapes
he's just sitting on a big bed of drapes right now
yeah like you asked sleeping on dirty laundry
just a pile of laundry
dd has to sleep somewhere too
i guess we didn't think about that you sleep outside dd
you don't talk to dd that way
kind of like a cat or dog just kind of puts himself with the drapes and then just kind of like
walks into a few circles and falls down and falls asleep
bad monkey
you're an outside monkey
you sleep on the roof
yeah or somewhere else
he's your guard monkey
sleeps outside
well right now he's sleeping in the velvet with
with squish
only every once in a while this is not going to be an every night then
yeah we'll see how that goes
that's how they always say it oh
only sleep in the bed once and then
five months later there you are whatever
everyone's crowded
a pair everywhere
you have to get one of those roombas
oh start saving please avoid this giant hole
we just have to keep buying roombas
it just keeps going down the hole
yeah then we
shit on it
all right we did it
all right you did it you survived and you were only mildly injured
yeah speak for yourself
i sleep in the corner i'm very stressed
i'm very stressed my ribs are in multiple pieces
i'm sure it'll work
how many onions you got i still got plenty
i'm sure you got plenty of them
you