This is keeping a cigarette smoking chimp a smart idea in a wooden shack.
I mean, it's not just wooden.
It's covered in shag carpet.
And shag carpet, yeah.
And dry, dry shag carpeting.
Some might even call it tinder.
With ants.
And full of methane from farts.
No, that's what the whole is.
Farts don't go down.
But poop does.
I know.
Is Zip, is he nestled in a little blanket?
I forgot about this part at the end.
Oh, yeah.
And you guys kept him.
Yeah.
It was him and Squish.
We went to bed together.
Oh, yeah.
Here you go, Squish.
You can be next to him.
Snuggle up.
It was underneath him.
Me and Didi?
All right.
We're not calling him Zip.
You and Didi.
Although you should.
It is on his...
Are you sure it's Zip?
No, it is Zip.
You're right.
Yeah.
No, Zip was a real monkey.
That might be Rip.
Didn't you watch the video that I put in the Discord?
That was Zip.
That was the original Zip.
I mean, I'm sure there were like 14 Zips, right?
But this one had it on his shirt, too.
He saved a family.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
He was a sailor.
I'm pretty sure that the picture I took for the newspaper was from that shirt.
I'm almost certain it's the exact same.
He's like the opposite of Travis the monkey who ripped the portion's face off.
Oh, God.
Thanks for bringing that up.
And then you took the time to remember his name?
I mean, it's not like a serial killer where you're trying to forget their names.
You know, remember the victim, not the shooter.
I mean, he did rip a man's face off.
Okay.
Bridget works with a guy named Travis.
He reminds me of a monkey, you know?
Actually, he does.
Is he Swedish?
No, he's not.
He's a hick.
No, he's all right.
No, he's just...
Misguided.
No, exactly.
Exactly.
Very misguided.
I can't, you know.
He was the one at Kevin's wedding who was convinced that Nick was hitting on his
girlfriend.
And here's the funny thing.
Him and Nick surprisingly have a lot in common.
They're both Italian and that's all they talk about is how big their families are.
Yeah.
They all have, you know, they each gone to like 200 weddings.
I don't know how I keep forgetting how Italian Nick is, but like every time I turn around,
he becomes more Italian.
Like he started wearing like the tank tops.
He's got like a St. Anthony like necklace.
He's got those glasses.
I mean, are those Italian?
He's going to start slicking his hair back.
He's going to start like...
I'm waiting for the feather in the hair like...
Like Pauly?
Like Pauly.
Yeah.
The feathering.
I can't wait to do that.
You're going to fucking look like Pauly.
Hey, that's respect.
And then you will have sex.
Sex.
I do love the addition of the rug.
This is exactly how I was imagining it.
Although maybe more than one.
Although we only stole one.
So I guess it's all coming together.
Is that the Lebowski rug?
Yeah, it is.
If it is, it's unintentional.
You know why he said that?
Because right now it's really tying this room.
I mean, that is why I said that.
Because that's right where my mind went.
Because I was anticipating your joke.
And then I was like, wait, no, it is the Lebowski rug.
But we got the drapes too now.
And the marmot.
Yeah.
The drapes are being used as a bed.
Which I thought was a...
I thought that was an interesting choice.
Well, don't ask them to do anything else.
Because I drew that.
And I don't think I can undraw that.
It's an amazing drawing job.
Which I have to imagine you did with the mouse.
I definitely did.
And it really was...
I was just drawing a polygon.
And then I got frustrated.
And it turned out great.
That's how art is.
That's how beds are, really.
All right.
Well, some housekeeping.
Congratulations.
You guys survived.
That's always great.
A little damaged.
Let's see.
Not me, though.
Just to recap.
Squish is under a whole lot of stress right now.
A whole lot of stress.
The captain has bruised ribs and mental shock.
I know.
A little stress.
There's no idea.
Bruised rubs.
I got it.
Mild shock.
Charles Xander also has cracked ribs, cracked ego.
Bruised ribs, bruised ego.
Electrical harm.
And he...
Yep.
He's also very stressed.
So, that's where you guys stand.
I should really be paying attention.
Yeah.
I'm almost stressed out.
A couple extra things going to do for you.
You guys got four rep on your gang.
Your reputation went up quite a bit.
Well, it is.
Let me just go ahead.
People really think highly of you.
You guys took on a big, big score.
And you succeeded.
We're pretty impressive.
We're a pretty important crew right now.
Yeah.
I wouldn't fuck with us.
Yeah.
You guys all got a can of caviar, which is equal to three coins.
So, you can either keep that.
You can sell it and have coin.
I don't really care what you do with it.
But just so you are.
You say you don't care until you hear what I'm going to spend it on.
Okay.
Well, the point is, is that whatever you spend it on, it's equal to three coin, which is like
a full month's wages.
So, it's pretty decent money.
In some bad news, you guys made a bit of a splash.
You sunk a ship in the harbor.
The ghost sunk the ship.
I don't know what to do.
That's a pretty good argument.
It was definitely during broad daylight, too.
So, people saw that.
Also, you did kill some people.
So, ultimately, you guys took a lot of heat for that.
So, you took seven heat.
So, I'm just going to go ahead.
I thought they were sleeping.
I killed the guy.
No.
You told me they were sleeping.
I killed the guy.
He was dead?
Which one?
The lifeless one.
The one that was just limp.
I thought he was just sleeping.
The one who looked dead tired.
I thought those were sleeping bells.
Yeah, he was so tired.
Well, we got three sleeping bells coming?
You had three sleeping bells.
No, so, basically, your heat went up.
You guys are now a level one wanted crew.
Awesome.
That's good news.
That means better jobs and better, you know, everything else.
Why don't you look on the right side?
Well, you know, for being level one, you have to.
And then you guys also got some XP each.
So, you guys get six XP for your endeavors for that.
I'm going to try and keep better keeping track of the XP during each mission rather than try to add it up at the end because I am getting messy with that.
But, hey, give yourself six.
I didn't even know you could get XP in this game.
So, yeah.
So, you all should start with zero because you, like, XP'd up the last time.
Oh, sorry.
I don't want to mess anyone's stuff up.
So, if you look where it says abilities.
Okay.
Oh, there.
Do you see the little hex?
Yeah.
So, you should start with zero and then you can have six because you guys leveled up last time.
So, nobody had any remainders last time?
No.
Okay.
You shouldn't.
Nobody should.
I should be full then.
No.
Why?
Because you need eight to be full.
Yeah.
Bridget said nobody had any left over.
Yeah, because you all leveled up last time.
All right.
Then I must have missed something.
I just added my six up.
I must have clicked on the wrong thing.
That's okay.
Never the matter.
I need to upgrade my shit because I was looking at my things and my...
This is why I think I'm...
My eyepatch thing broke.
See?
That's why I'm having impotence.
And magic.
With the ghost.
Wait.
So I need to either replace this or get some authentic rhino horn.
Because this is broke.
That's a bigger job than just getting some caviar.
Rhino horn.
No.
I need to get it.
Not that much.
I need to upgrade my magic shit.
Okay.
In fact, I put that...
You had pretty high magic, too.
What was it?
I forgot what it was.
Oh, a tune.
Your tune's fairly high, isn't it?
It's my command that sucks.
Ah.
That's what I need.
I even put down...
It says...
On my list, it says...
No luck with command.
Reminder to upgrade that shit.
At least you're taking notes.
Yeah.
I also got the drapists.
You wrote down...
Oh, I did write the drapists.
Oh, the draper boys.
And the build rat buddies.
Hmm.
I don't like that.
I know.
You love it.
I also wrote Deus Ex Didi.
Monkey style.
That's pretty good.
Yeah.
Didi's gonna be...
Gonna hang out in your fort.
But I don't think you really should take him on any sort of missions.
Because, well, he's not a...
He's not a trained monkey.
Yet.
Domestic one.
Yet.
Put that on your long-term goals.
I got so much downtime activity.
Alright.
Well...
We'll start with Captain.
Since you got an idea of what you would like to do.
Let me...
I need to replace my shit.
Okay.
Do you all see the downtrodden toad?
Yeah.
Okay.
Good.
I wanted to make sure you're there.
So, Rigby, our favorite bartender that we've met once, is standing behind the counter.
And he's...
He notices you, Captain, sitting there, kind of looking forlorn.
And he goes, oh, what's the matter with you, boy?
Oh, I'm forlorn.
I broke my magic talisman and...
Sorry.
I broke my magic talisman.
And now I'm...
My magic's not...
I've lost my mojo.
Do you have any place where I can get a replacement?
Magic...
Talismans?
Question mark?
Well, there's the shop de mystique.
There's that weird, uh...
Weird man who lives there.
He might know something.
He might be able to sell anything to you.
Anything else I can help you boys with?
Uh, chuckles.
Squish.
Oh, I'm...
I'm here.
That wasn't a question.
No, I'm here.
Hi.
How...
How are you doing?
Have you, uh...
You've been...
You've been working out?
Oh, I'm glad you noticed.
I have been carrying these, uh...
Sacks of flour back and forth.
Don't know what they're for.
Don't need them.
It's a...
It's not a...
It's a bar.
Not a bakery.
Yeah.
What about yeast?
I'll take...
I'll take a bag of flour.
If you don't need them.
All right.
Take as many as you want, I guess.
I take...
Three.
What are you gonna do with flour?
What, are we gonna blow something up?
I don't know.
Oh.
Well, we don't have room for it.
You can't have it.
I'm...
I'm holding them.
For right now.
You're getting...
You're...
You're starting to be a little bit of a hoarder here.
First...
First the monkey, now this flour.
The monkey pays for itself.
Yeah, not yet.
He doesn't.
No, no.
He just stinks.
Wait.
He got us out...
Diddy got us out of that.
I'll have a drink.
You probably...
Of what?
You're special.
Special?
All right.
Angel's dust it is.
And he just puts a powder right onto your table.
And people drink this?
They do something with it.
They boof it?
You can do whatever you want.
Some people put it into a powder and drink it.
Some people snort it.
Do whatever you'd like.
Oh, I'm not snorting it.
Do you have...
Do you have water?
I mean, mostly you just have powders here.
Sure.
It's flour and this angel's dust.
It's strange that we're a bar, not like an apothecary.
Yeah, whatever that is.
Whatever you say.
Apothecary.
Yeah.
Water.
And he nods to the little boy that works there.
And he dips in to the well.
And he gets a tall glass of brown-looking water.
And he puts it right on your table.
Water.
Wow.
It's so in my whole life.
I never get used to this.
And yeah, I'll just make a little concoction here.
And just start sipping on it.
That's some good water you got here.
Water and angel dust?
Is angel dust like anything?
Is it like...
Because isn't angel dust like in real life?
Like, isn't that like PCP?
Oh my god.
Am I tripping?
I don't think you trip on PCP.
The water hits your stomach.
And for a moment, you experience a mixture between sheer terror and sheer ecstasy.
Congratulations.
You restored two health.
Oh my god.
That was weird.
You should try it.
Who?
You?
I slam my head on the ground and start snorting it off the table.
Out of the water?
Brandon's gonna go for it.
You drowned.
Brandon's gonna go straight for it.
I'm gonna give you an extra boost since you're not diluting it.
You can get, uh, cure four health on your progress, uh, clock.
Okay.
So how do I do that?
So you pull up your, uh, your sheet?
Uh-huh.
You get a progress clock?
Uh-huh.
What was that?
Oh.
Just drop one?
Two.
Well, you had four, so you get two.
You can heal, put one of your level two down to level one or cure your level one, and then
you get two more.
Oh.
Okay.
Did that do anything for you, Squish?
Or not Squish?
Charles?
Charles Vander?
Uh, so my healing was already at zero, so I would like to heal some of this harm.
And I wasn't quite following.
So I can drop it two to a one?
Uh, so it fills up your progress clock, so you can go ahead and, uh, just heal two.
Or, so you fill up your progress clock two.
I'm just giving that to you.
Uh, I didn't expect you to want to snort that, so, or drink that, so.
That's yours to have.
Congratulations.
Yeah, but you filled my clock up to two.
Yes.
I'm also in your clock.
Because you got two.
But.
Your progress clock fills.
And then once it's filled, you can lower the level of harm.
Oh, I see.
All right.
Well, I need more healing, then.
So, that was, uh, that was just a gift.
You sure you don't want one, Squish?
You want to snort this?
Yeah, no.
Uh, sorry.
My, uh, computer froze.
And Squish reaches into his arm.
It's got two little pockets in it.
He has a spoon in it.
And picks it all up and just eats it.
Doesn't snort it.
He has a spoon.
So, it wasn't a Coke spoon?
Straight in.
No, it was just a spoon.
Oh, it's definitely a Coke spoon.
No, it's a spoon.
It's still, it's still pretty distilled, and you managed to get a mouthful, so we'll give you two.
All right.
You get four, uh, healing on your progress clock.
Wait, well, I don't have any, I don't have any damage.
Uh, then go ahead and just take, take two stress off, then.
Yeah, take the edge off.
Okay.
Take the edge off.
Take the edge off with this PCP.
Yep.
Uh, so yeah.
Uh, you guys still have a couple, two downtime activities each.
Uh, Captain, you want to start with you?
You want to check out that shop, or what do you want to do?
Let's go to the Shop Damestique.
All right.
Oh, this is my shop.
Am I here?
It's the same.
Do you want to be there?
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, so, oh, shit.
I forgot this fucking guy's name.
It's like...
Uncle something, right?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I call him Uncle.
Yeah, his name is Uncle.
Yeah.
Uncle Fat Fingers?
No!
Uncle Fruncle.
Uh, as you, uh, you walk into the shop, the bells overhead, uh, ring, and you walk into
this shop, and it's, it's a little dusty, a little rundown, but it's overall a working
shop.
There are, uh, you've been here before, chuckles, but this is your first time, Captain, that you're
here.
Um, and you notice there's just a menagerie of things.
Potions, bottles, powders, liquids, uh, strange amulets.
Uh, there are some fresh herbs.
It's just a general shop de moustique.
Uh, and out from around the corner is Uncle Skylock, uh, who, his face always looks like
it's one sneeze away from blowing away.
He looks like Skeletor.
Eteriating face.
And he goes, ah!
To Charzander.
How do you say your name?
Charzander.
Nice to see you again.
It's Charles Xander.
You know that, Uncle.
Charles Xander.
That's right.
I was definitely thinking of Charles Xander.
I was definitely thinking of somebody else.
Now, how can I help you boys?
And you've brought a friend.
Yar.
Uh, yeah.
Well, you know, he needs some things, uh, something in particular.
He keeps ranting out about it.
And I felt like if anybody knew how to help him, you would.
Cause it sounds really weird.
Very mystique.
Uh, so Uncle, please help my friend here.
What's wrong with you?
Well, you see, my, uh, my spirit, Max.
It broke.
Yeah, it's his eyepatch.
It's, it's, uh, it, yeah.
It helped me commune with the ghosts.
I'm a ghost planet.
But it broke.
Yeah, it helps you look like a creep.
It broke.
And ever since then, I have been unable to control them.
Even my own ghost butler shows me no respect.
Oh, well, you know how hard it is to find good help.
You know, I once had a friend who was a butler.
Maybe you know him.
Uh, his name was Neelix.
He was a sweet man.
Anyway, uh, yeah, you know, he was a great butler.
Wasn't your, your wiener butler, isn't his name Neelix?
It is.
But he was my cabin boy.
Before I made him a butler.
Made him a butler?
I mean, I didn't, I mean, yeah.
You know, when you promote.
Did you strangle him into a butler?
I didn't, what?
I didn't say I turned him into a ghost.
I said I turned him into a butler.
But.
Anyway.
Skylock takes the, uh, the eyepatch from you.
And he kind of holds it up all.
And it's all sad and depressed.
And he's like, oh, I can, I can see why this wouldn't do you any good, sir.
The threading on this is just, just so bad.
What did you pay for this?
I seriously, in real life, paid a dollar.
You overpaid.
That's why I broke.
So you paid one coin.
I think, yeah.
You know, plus shipping and handling, which was free.
So you're looking for something that'll, that'll help you command the spirits better.
Is that what I'm, I'm understanding?
You, you need, you need something intimidating.
You need something.
He needs, he needs a cure for impotence is what he needs.
I can't, well, I have some fresh rhino horn and I have to tell you, I hear great things about it.
Well, we'll get to that later.
Anyway.
Do you have something that can help me?
Let me take a look in the back.
Uh, and he wanders away into the back and you hear some scuffling and some scraping and some moving and some old man grunting and heavy breathing.
Then you hear a cat.
Wait, is Squish there?
He can be.
You there?
Yeah, I'll be, I'll be there for this.
You there?
Hello?
Squish?
Uh, and, uh, Skylark comes back dusting some, some dust off of him and he comes back and he has a small box and he goes,
I've got something.
It's gonna cost you though.
It's not cheap.
Four coin.
That's my final offer.
Oh, I'm, great.
Hold on.
Damn.
How much money did I have?
Three.
You had one, you had three, you have the tin of, of caviar and then you have, I think, one coin from earlier.
Oh, you didn't spend it.
Last time around.
Cause we split it up cause we got four last time all together.
Okay.
So I should have enough, right?
Will he take caviar?
Well, you should only have two.
What?
You should only have two, two coin, right?
He has, the caviar is three and then he has one.
Isn't that four?
We all have three.
Each tin of caviar is one, is worth one.
No, each tin of caviar is worth three.
Oh.
Oh, that's a fish of a different color.
Yeah.
You all have three.
You all essentially should have, I think, unless you spent a coin from earlier, you should all have at least four coins.
You have the one coin from earlier and then the caviar.
I've got four.
No.
What if we ate the caviar?
You would lose that coin.
Well, I mean, I didn't eat all of it.
How much did you eat, Juggles?
Well, I, how many do we have?
One per person.
Well, I mean, I ate a good portion.
I had three cans.
You had, where did you get three cans from?
I, I don't know.
Oh, wait, no.
Well, I, I misunderstood.
I, no, I did not eat your cans.
I guess is where I was going.
So did you just steal other cans from Rosel?
I don't know what was in the cans, but.
But you just ate it.
Guys, I ate, I ate mine.
You ate your can.
I ate my, no, I didn't eat it.
I didn't eat the can.
You, you ate the contents of your can.
Kinda.
No, there, that's, it's kind of a yes or no thing.
Yes.
Young man.
Yes, you did, okay.
You ate the caviar.
You ate the Leviathan egg.
Wasn't that good.
You know how much money people spend.
It wasn't that good, huh?
Skylark is a man of, of, of some taste and he is just absolutely shocked right now.
Wasn't very good.
And you're not, oh, you know, I, I mean, the texture was off and it was a little fishy.
I'll have to, I'll have to, I'll have to, I'll have to say.
I mean, yeah, it, it is whale eggs.
It's meant to be eaten.
I assume.
It was in a size can.
Not, not, not like the way you ate it.
Not like a can of tuna.
It's, it's a delicacy.
It's a, no, I would.
I would never eat tuna.
That's disgusting.
Isn't that tuna just cat food?
I thought you liked cat food.
I do.
Do you have any?
I dropped something.
I got to clean it up.
Was that your cat food?
Was it your caviar?
No, it, it's, it's, it's a two ounce thing of pizza sauce.
It fell off.
It's.
Is it soaking into the shag?
Not yet.
So.
Had fun.
Squish walks out.
I want to take a.
As Squish is walking out.
I can't believe you ate that fucking can.
That, you, what, oh, what, what an idiot.
Why would.
Squish walks out the door.
All right.
Well.
He sounded a bit saucy.
Look at his face.
All right.
He's so mad.
No.
I'm not mad.
All right.
Well, Skylock, Skylock hands over the box to the captain and he says, three coin, or four
coin.
Final offer.
Will you take this char of caviar?
Yeah.
And, uh, this, I have a coin here somewhere.
This coin.
I don't have any coins here.
That's acceptable.
And, uh, he, uh.
Does he like caviar?
He's a man of distinguished taste.
Oh my goodness.
Do you guys see this?
I just, I just, I just negotiated for caviar.
And he's going to, but he's going to take the can and he's just going to kind of put his
hand over it and draw it back into his self and just stick it in his pocket.
And you have, you have exquisite taste for a man who has no lips.
No offense.
Brandon, you still there?
Sorry.
You froze on me.
I'm here.
Sorry.
All right.
Well.
So now what?
Well, he gave you a box, uh, filled with a trinket.
Oh, I opened the box.
Um.
Uh, it's another eye patch, except it's, uh, fixed.
La la.
Wow.
You look like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
It looks so silly.
Yay.
I fixed it.
Yeah.
And I can see this one too.
Yeah.
What's squish miss?
Uh, no.
Uh, so the captain was handed a box with a new, new eye patch and he just put it on.
Oh, were there any repercussions from this?
No, it wasn't a monkey paw situation.
He's broke.
It's straight up physical comedy.
How much did it cost?
It cost everything he had.
Four coins.
Which is, according to the book, a small fortune.
He.
Okay.
All right.
I needed it for the magic.
See?
Magic.
So did he, but he didn't up his dice rolls.
No.
So this is going to be his new, uh, bonus.
His new, one of his items in his load that he's going to carry with him.
And it's going to give him a plus one on, uh, commanding.
Ghosts specifically, not people.
I mean, you could try that on a person, but I think they might just laugh at you.
I couldn't imagine.
Come on.
You don't think this is a good idea.
It was a good idea.
It's better than the patch.
He loves it.
If at any time you guys want a special object, let me know.
And, uh, he's going to raise him for you.
What?
You guys cut out, so I didn't hear.
Oh, so he's, his, his eyepatch is, uh, a new item, uh, he's going to carry in his load.
It's a plus one command for ghosts only, not for people.
Oh, okay.
Hopefully this means I will no longer get as bad of rolls as I seem to be getting in this game.
Did cost you all your money though, so.
I don't need money.
I hope it's worth it.
I don't need money.
I need honey.
Baby, get in here.
Okay.
Naked!
All right.
Right.
All right, so, uh, uh, Captain Clyde, that is one, uh, downtime activity down for you.
Uh, anyone else have something they want to do?
Heal, train, reduce stress.
Uh, get an object.
Anything like that?
Uh, so I did, I did eat that caviar.
Uh, can I reduce some stress from having eaten that caviar as if it were, um, say, cat food or other animal food?
Yeah, I think that's fair.
Um, as Squish and, uh, Captain, Squish already left the shop, Captain leaves, uh, Skylock peeks his, oh, sorry, Skylock peeks his head around the corner and he goes, chuckles.
Chuckles, come quick.
Uh, yes, uncle.
I'm, yes, hello.
And, uh, he takes you into the back.
And, uh, in the back there's a small gathering of cats.
Um, not a lot, but definitely more than an average man should have.
There's about three of them.
And, uh, they just kind of keep, like, rubbing up on, uh, Skylock's leg.
And he goes, ever since I fed you that cat food last time, they have not left me alone.
If I eat this caviar, I'm going to just, there's going to be dozens of them.
So here, he hands you the second jar of caviar and he, he says, this is yours.
So I'm going to have a second jar of cat or of caviar.
Yep.
Oh my God.
I am a greedy, mad chicken.
Uh, yeah, no, I'm going to wait a second.
I, am I?
Yes.
Is, is this GM speak for don't eat this one?
No.
Oh, okay.
Well, I'm going to eat it then.
Oh, okay.
Uh, so since you ate the...
Oh.
Is Brandon still there?
I'm here.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Hold on.
He just hung up.
Probably because he's pissed off.
Yeah, I know.
He was really mad.
Um, yeah.
So since you're going to eat two, two jars of really good cat food, I'm going to, uh, or
I'm sorry, caviar.
I'm going to count that as...
Caviar cat food.
What's the difference?
I mean, really.
Uh, we're going to count that as 2D and you're going to take the sum of that and count that
towards your, uh, healing clock.
All right.
Rather than just pick the highest.
So here we go.
Should...
What about my stress clock?
Oh, it can count towards stress.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
All right.
So it's going to count towards your stress.
Okay.
So just roll two dice?
Yep.
Just roll two dice.
Okay.
Well, that's a pretty good roll.
I'm down to zero, baby.
That's some good caviar.
Stress-free, baby.
You feel great after eating that caviar.
I mean, my ego is still cracked to hell, but...
You spent...
You spent four coins?
Oh, no.
It's worse than that, Andy.
Oh, yeah.
What did I miss?
Oh, so, uh, Skylock had a lot...
Had a cat problem and he gave Chuckles the extra can of caviar to get it out of the...
His...
His place.
Otherwise, it's going to attract more cats.
And guess what I did with it?
Ate it.
I assume.
I ate that one, too.
You ate both.
Yeah.
Hey, I'm...
Oh, you're eating a month's worth of...
You ate two months?
No, no, no, no, no.
You got it all wrong.
It's six months of wages.
You ate an entire year of wages.
No, a half a year.
No, there was three months of wages per.
Per.
Yeah.
Also, I didn't like it, the first can I ate.
I was not a fan of the texture nor the taste.
So when I was offered a second can, I ate that one, too.
You immediately ate it.
Like, hey, I didn't like this first can of Leviathan caviar.
That's about three months' worth of wages?
Yeah.
Oh, you got another one?
I'm going to eat that, too?
Yeah.
But I didn't tell you the good news.
I don't...
I don't know if there's good news.
I'm stress-free, baby.
Zero stress.
That...
Stress-free, baby.
That affects me zero.
Zero.
I am so mad.
Oh, no.
It does affect you.
You were the only one that was on my side against that giant gaping hole in the middle of our fort.
No.
There's just me.
That you're so stress-free, you don't care that the poop hole is there.
And between you and me, I'm going to need that hole later.
This caviar is going right through me.
I was going to say, that could be good for your stomach.
No.
Squish storms out.
I feel some gurgling coming out.
Squish is storming out after that.
All right.
Oh.
I don't see what he's so mad about.
Where are you going?
I'm going to go back to the golden plum.
All right.
Let's go there.
The golden plum.
Chuckle, Squish, you following him?
Yeah.
Or Chuckle's captain?
Yeah.
I'm going to go steal things while I'm in there.
Well, I didn't follow Squish, but I did follow the captain.
And I don't really like his...
I turn around and yell at both of them to leave me alone.
No.
Yes.
All right.
I...
Yeah, let's go, captain, to somewhere else.
You want to go back to Rigby's?
No, we're going to follow him.
I'm not following him.
That's just a street weed.
Don't follow me.
I'm not.
You just said you're going to.
All right.
We're going to go.
We're going to follow him.
Come on.
Yeah.
I turn away as if I'm not going to follow him.
And you just, like, grab my shoulder and say, come on.
Come on.
Yeah.
I grab you by the shirt.
Yeah.
Get on.
Yeah.
We're going to follow him.
Just don't look at him.
That's how you hide.
Just...
What role do I have to roll to try to lose us?
To lose us?
I'm going to say it's probably study.
Like...
We know where you're going.
What do you mean, lose us?
Or survey.
I would say it's survey to see if you can see them.
All right.
You get the feeling that they're behind you and you kind of keep turning and looking around your shoulder.
But the two of them definitely are, like, weaving in and out of traffic.
Very poorly, by the way.
Everyone else knows you're there.
But...
Or Heidi.
But Squish doesn't see you.
Various piles of trash.
Oh, yeah.
You know, like, a carp...
Someone with, like, carrying a box walks by and then you appear from behind the box.
All right.
I'm going to walk in the back door of the golden plum.
All right.
Captain Chuckles, you guys go into the front?
Yeah, but very discreetly.
Discreetly, Charles.
Yeah, I wasn't expecting him to end up here.
All right, all right.
Remember, we have to blend in, so...
Be on your guard.
Yard.
I don't have a patch.
Well, then just close one eye.
While you're in the back, the crew back there has gotten pretty used to you, Squish.
They just kind of scooch over and make way for you on the table.
What are you going to do?
I am going to make a dish.
With flour.
Okay.
No flour.
Well, maybe flour.
You have three sacks of flour.
He left the post bags back at home.
I forgot.
My internet cut out, so...
I forgot about that.
I did bring the sacks of flour.
I like the fact that you're just yelling at him in that shop with a bag of flour under each arm.
You ate the caviar!
You're holding the flour.
How dare you?
You got a damn fool.
You are too excessive.
Excessive.
So, what Squish is going to do is make...
What Squish is going to do is make...
It's going to be like a gumbo.
Ooh.
But what he's going to do is he's going to use the flour out of the sacks that he brought.
Just as a little bit of...
Looking for gumbo in the book.
The two sacks are kind of like a goodwill gesture for Roselle.
Yeah.
A compliment to the chef.
Here's some flour.
Not compliments to the chef.
It's, hey, I got your caviar.
I went home, came back with these stacks of flour.
But he's going to make a gumbo that it's...
It's going to be chili powder and tobacco.
Okay.
Oh, I know what this is for.
Who is it for?
Oh, I didn't mean to interrupt you.
I mean, it's clearly for the monkey.
No.
Dee Dee's back at the fort.
Yeah.
You're going to bring it back to him.
You can't give a monkey chili powder.
He's going to be hogging the poop hole all night.
Yeah.
We're all going to be hogging the poop hole.
We're going to be all sitting on the poop hole side by side.
We can all fit.
Yeah.
It's a very big hole.
The meat that I used was the eels.
Or the...
Yeah.
It was eels from the first...
Yeah, the eels.
Slugs.
So, eels or slugs.
These things.
But I use those as the protein.
But I make this gumbo that has chili powder plus this tobacco flavor in behind it.
All right.
So, as you're cooking that up, the smell kind of lifts into the air.
And Chef Rosal comes by and her eyes start to water.
She's like, are you going to feed that to this crowd?
No, I'm going to feed it to you.
What?
Oh, my God.
Is that erotic.
She's a little confused, but she doesn't argue with you.
She's like, you know, we couldn't put this on the menu.
Like, these people think eel is spicy.
They think our flour has too much spice.
Do you like spice?
All right.
Yes.
Okay.
I just imagine me and Charles Xander in the corner, like, reading newspapers.
Like, are you seeing this?
This is so hot.
I'm not making this dish for the masses.
I'm making this dish for the people that will love it and will pay for it.
All right.
She says, impress me.
I spoon feed her.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
What do you spoon feed her?
She's going to eat it.
The chili powder tobacco gumbo.
Flour.
I'm going to say this is an incredibly desperate maneuver.
desperate.
But I'm not opposed to it.
Desperate.
To get some of my stress back?
You go ahead.
So, yeah.
I'm going to have you roll one for your normal stress.
And then you're going to get an additional one.
Because that's a hell of a ballsy move to cook in a woman's own restaurant and then try to speed her as a way of wooing her?
Reducing your stress?
I don't know.
But I like it.
The funny thing is, if it was like...
Oh, that's only one.
Yeah, you need two.
Okay.
You want me to roll just one more?
No, just roll two.
Just roll two at the same time.
All right.
Seven.
You can reduce seven stress.
All right.
Squish is stress-free, baby.
Chef Roselle, her eyes widen as she takes the dish.
And then she kind of, like, shoos your hand away.
And then just takes the spoon and just starts pounding that chili down.
I couldn't even speed it to her?
Oh, no.
She thinks it's delicious.
Her face gets red.
She gets, like, some beads of swan.
She goes, this is the most...
I forgot she's supposed to have a French accent.
The most divine...
It's Chef Roselle.
Most divine thing I have ever eaten, Squish.
You have to consider working here full time.
I mean, I don't think...
I mean, we probably could get along without you.
We certainly did for a while.
But we would do a lot better if you worked here.
All right.
I'll work here for...
One coin a shift.
Hmm.
She thinks about it.
All right.
Well, I can't afford not to do it.
So, yes.
You can work here for two coin a shift.
Starting next shift.
Not now.
All right.
Fair enough.
I take all of the gumbo I made.
I pack it into something and walk out.
Chuckles and the captain give a great big high five and bust out and say,
You hire one, you hire them all.
We got a new job, boys.
Yeah.
Woo.
A waitress comes up to you, to captain and chuckles.
Have you two ordered anything yet?
What?
No, we work here.
We're employees.
You heard the man.
I mean, woman.
Employees get free whiskey sours.
Hop on it, please.
Yarr.
I'll just take whatever scratch you got laying around.
What do you feed the cats?
With a short whiskey, with a whiskey sour in a short cup.
And for chuckles, they just kind of give you a pail of whatever scraps they threw into the pail.
The equivalent of long-term.
Onion peels.
Vegetable peels.
It's a seafood boil.
Ah, nice.
Nice.
Did you guys go to the old woman to fix your wounds?
No.
No, they did PCP in the town Trot and Toby.
Oh.
Yeah, and one of us snorted it.
Yarr.
Well, you guys want to take a quick break?
Okay.
I'm going to blow my nose.
All right.
Oh, my God.
No, we're running.
We're running.
Help.
What does she want?
She needs help.
She was just yelling help.
And you're like, what?
Listen, when I'm in the library, I'm not to be disturbed.
She knows us.
No!
What?
Hello?
Let's go some whiskey.
No.
Mine.
Nice.
I guess I should get a drink, huh?
Yeah.
I've been holding in that sneeze for a while now.
I don't want to talk to you.
Thank you.
Oh, my.
So are you trying to bone Roselle or what?
I mean, maybe.
It can't hurt.
It'll hurt her.
It would probably hurt me more than it would hurt her.
Why?
How much do you know about demon?
Or teacher-os, rather?
Nothing.
All right, then.
Teach me.
No.
We live together.
It's never stopped you before.
It's always stopped me before.
Feed me like one of your French whores.
No.
I saw it.
You just ate by half a year's worth of food.
He's so proud of himself.
And you didn't even enjoy it.
What?
No, I...
You're right.
I didn't.
It's not good.
I'm not going to feed you.
Please?
No.
I got the drapes.
We haven't...
On the floor?
I have a steady income.
Yeah, me too.
No, you don't.
Yeah, we just got hired.
No.
I got hired.
Wait, wait, wait.
We decided this a long time ago when we moved in together.
Hire one, hire them all.
You know that.
You want me to be responsible.
So we're going to split that two coin amongst the three of us.
What do you mean two coin?
One coin.
How many coin?
It's one coin a week.
Yeah.
Well?
My one coin per week.
No, we're all work.
I'm...
No, you're...
You guys went in there.
I didn't even want you there.
No, me neither.
But you were there.
Yeah, I just got caught up in the moment.
Captain drank a whiskey sour.
Did he now?
He did.
He relished in the whiskey sour.
Listen.
Here's the thing.
You hire one caviar rascal.
You hire them all.
Right.
But I'm going to be doing the actual work.
You can't hire just one draper.
The caviar capers.
The caper capers.
Caviar capers.
I'm not going to go in there and do all this work so we can split it.
The caviar confeder.
I mean, I'll do work.
That doesn't help.
What are you going to do?
I'll clean stuff up.
Like what?
I'll make whiskey sours.
No, you're going to drink whiskey sours.
No, I...
Yeah, that's part of the deal.
I make them.
I drink them.
I make them.
I drink them.
I give them to customers and that's how it works.
That is not how business assistants work.
You have no idea what it's like to be a bartender.
I know exactly what it's like to be a bartender.
No, I'm not even sure you know your way around a kitchen.
Yeah.
I don't think you know your way around a ship.
Yeah, me neither.
I haven't been on one in a while.
I forgot everything.
You were just on one.
We were just on one and you completely punched it all up.
I have to say there was not much advantage to having a captain on that ship.
That's because I wasn't the captain of that particular ship.
You claimed to be the captain of that ship and you sucked at it.
You couldn't even command the ghosts.
The one thing you're good at.
All right.
Okay.
All right.
Now we're starting to...
Let's not say something we're going to regret.
I storm out.
Oh, boy.
Oh, no.
This is the end.
Shit.
This is going to be an awkward night.
Oh, no.
He stormed out of the restaurant where he hasn't paid a thing for anything he's drank.
This is the end of the cabin boy capers.
You guys are stealing the cabin boys.
The cabin boy capers.
So as you storm out, Captain, you start wandering in a random direction.
But as you do, you notice that down the street quite a bit, there is another club.
There's some soft music coming in from the outside.
And there's a man standing in front of it.
And there's a man standing in front of it and says, you look like you're in need of a quiet place to rest, sir.
Are you interested?
Yeah.
Too many fruity chefs and cat eaters or cat food eaters.
I need...
I'm...
I'm angry.
I need a break.
Well, welcome, sir.
To the Centralia Club.
Oh, my.
And I lift up my eye patch.
Yarr.
I gotta get used to this.
So, uh, hold on.
Let me get my notes for this.
I wasn't expecting you to storm out of the golden plum.
I wasn't either.
But, man, Andy, you got mean.
He got so mean.
You were demanding some of my salary.
You know the deal.
When you walk in, you see a very formally dressed, but not excessively dressed,
a man sitting there, standing there.
He is the maitre d' of the place.
And he goes, uh, Captain, may I take your hat?
Oh, um...
Are you wearing a hat?
No, I'm just not wearing a hat.
Oh, Captain, my mistake, my mistake.
May I take your coat, then?
No, I never leave my coat.
But you may take, um...
Nothing.
I don't trust you.
Who are you?
My name is, uh...
I'm just kidding.
I'm just...
Listen, sir.
This is the only thing that is worth anything to me, is this frock coat.
This vest.
This frock coat.
Buster.
Frock coat.
Buster.
That's true.
I forgot about that.
My name is, uh...
Mr. Brogan, sir.
I am one of the, uh...
Matri-D's here at the owner of the Centralia Club.
Uh...
Have a look around.
Um...
Any books that you...
You require, just let us know.
We are more than happy to take them off the shelves for you.
Except, of course, those on the second floor.
Those are our private collection and meant for our paying customers.
But, uh...
In the meantime, just relax.
You can, uh...
Get a drink if you'd like.
Do you have any books on the ghost pirate Captain Clyde?
Ghost pirate Captain Clyde.
I believe we do have some books on a ghost captain.
I don't know if his name was Clyde, but, uh...
You may be able to find them, uh...
On the third bookshelf, uh...
Fifth row.
Third one in.
Thank you.
And I meander over that way.
Um...
So, I look for the book, um...
And I find it.
And I'm looking through it.
Um...
What do I...
What do I get from this?
It's a...
Uh...
Yeah, so one of your, uh...
One of your vices, like you said, was...
Was, uh...
Reading books and luxurious living.
Um...
So, yeah.
You can roll, uh...
One.
Well, let's see.
What's your roll?
Typically, you roll your lowest.
Uh...
One, two.
You all have two.
Yeah, so you can roll two.
Uh...
And then take your...
Your stress.
So, what do I roll?
Uh...
Roll two dice?
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Oh, I just...
I did that wrong.
Hold on.
Yeah, that was...
For some reason, I thought...
No, I know.
I know.
I thought it was gonna...
It was a really good roll.
Yeah, you can't do better than that.
Oh, maybe you can.
You almost did better than that.
What's ironic?
Uh...
So you can...
Go ahead.
No, go ahead.
I was gonna say, I...
I'm reading Treasure Island.
Why is it ironic?
Because it's about pirates.
Oh.
Uh...
So, yeah.
You...
You can reduce your stress by, uh...
By sticks?
I don't think that's what ironic means.
I think that's just a coincidence.
What do you mean?
It's ironic because I grabbed it and I'm a pirate reading a pirate book.
And that's a whole bad character.
As you're reading the book, uh...
Captain, one thing that does stand out to you is, uh...
The book is very old.
Uh...
Much older than you are.
And it details the life of a pirate captain.
Uh...
A ghost pirate who, uh...
Who sailed the high seas and...
Oh, sorry.
Uh...
Who sailed the high seas and, uh...
Captured ghosts...
In a bottle.
Yar.
This...
Could be me.
Right?
Anyway.
Uh...
You put the book back on the shelf and...
What do you do?
Yeah, I'm very confused.
And I leave.
Or I go...
And I have to...
Well, I don't leave.
I, uh...
Make my walk away.
You know, from that shelf.
You're gonna look at the other book.
I'm gonna go...
I try...
I'm intrigued by upstairs.
I'm gonna try to sneak upstairs.
Uh...
Go ahead and, uh...
Try prowl.
I'll just see if you sneak.
Did he say not to go upstairs?
Oh, yeah.
He did.
He definitely said not to go upstairs.
No.
You can never be happy.
Oof.
Well, no.
You...
You managed to get upstairs without attracting, uh...
Too much attention.
But, uh...
As you notice, uh...
As you walk down the hallway, all the doors are locked.
Yar!
If only you had a lot.
While he is still at that restaurant...
Well, he is still at that restaurant...
Arguing with the chef...
Who's very mean to his captain...
When his captain was just trying to help him out...
With his new job...
Making whiskey sours.
No.
Well, the captain, uh...
Is forced to go back downstairs...
Uh...
And he sits down at one of the comfy tables...
And just decides to enjoy himself in the nice atmosphere.
There's some nice...
Nice, gentle music playing...
And, uh...
There's no drinks...
But it is a very nice...
Pleasant environment.
What did I get for...
For reading the book?
You reduced your stress.
Okay.
Did I do that?
I don't think I did that.
So, just by one?
No.
By five.
Oh, I only had four anyway.
Congratulations.
Oh, he...
Oh, he overindulged.
Oh, that's right.
You overindulged.
Yeah, baby!
The...
Yeah, baby!
Stress-free, baby!
I overindulged reading a book about myself.
How ironic.
The book was older than you.
This has, uh...
The book was older than you.
It started to, uh...
That book...
It's not something you can shake.
It's kind of gnawing at the back of your mind.
The fact that there's a book written about you.
Maybe you.
Maybe not you.
Kind of just sits there in the back of your mind for a while.
And, uh...
It's a...
It's just a random ghost pirate.
I don't think it had my real name in it.
No, it was not.
It did not have your name in it.
But it is a ghost pirate.
And you...
But you are a ghost pirate.
You are the ghost pirate.
I am the ghost pirate.
Captain Clyde.
But it's, uh...
It's different.
Uh...
Yeah.
It's like...
How do I address...
How do I address the stress if I get, like...
If I over...
Uh...
Usually you...
You cause...
Like, uh...
I don't know if it causes trauma.
Hold on.
Let me look.
I'll be back.
Hold on.
You can hit me.
Yeah.
I can't remember what it does.
Oh.
Uh...
You can...
Attract trouble.
Brag.
Get lost.
Or feel...
Or, uh...
They cut you off.
So what do I do?
I mean...
Hmm.
I don't know.
I mean...
Uh...
What do I do?
I mean, what do I put on the, um...
The sheet?
You get to pick...
Of those...
Of those three that she just listed on.
Yeah.
What would your character do?
Would your character brag about...
Reading a book about himself?
Do you think it would get him into trouble?
Um...
I think it would make him...
Um...
Yeah.
I think...
Yeah.
I think he'd make...
It'd make him confused.
Okay.
Yeah.
So, like...
Like...
Disoriented.
That being cut off thing is that...
You would get kicked out of this place and never be allowed to return.
Yeah.
You're saying...
So you're saying that reading the book, you overindulge and, uh...
You're now kind of confused and a little disoriented.
Is that correct?
Yeah.
That's what I'm trying to get, Brandon.
Yeah.
I'm gonna have you take level one harm, uh...
Confused, uh...
Befuddled.
Let's put befuddled.
Befuddled ego.
Actually, you know what?
You have mental shock.
Just, uh...
Put that up to your second harm.
As a second level harm.
How do I, uh...
Just copy and put it up?
Yeah.
Just copy and paste.
Okay.
I did not spell it right.
Mental shock.
Shut up.
My God, Brandon.
You've been dealing with some mental shock.
Shock.
All right.
Well, while you, uh...
While the captain is, uh...
Trying to find himself.
Meanwhile, at the, uh...
Bolden Plum.
Are you two still arguing?
No.
They stormed out.
I didn't storm out.
Okay, Juggles.
No, no, no.
I may have left, but I didn't storm.
No.
I just looked at you and shook my head because you were...
The captain stormed out.
Yeah, you were being a little mean, and I looked at you like you kind of crossed the line,
and I shook my head, and I walked out.
And as Juggles was walking out, I flipped him off.
Okay, well...
Very nice.
Well, you didn't see that.
I...
Yeah, I know, but...
Juggles, where did you go?
I fucked him off and mocked him.
Okay.
Showed me.
Uh, I just kinda...
Well, I'm kinda lost because my two friends just fought.
Uh, my two new friends.
I'm gonna go back to a place where everybody knows my name, which is Uncle Schluck.
The place that you just got a can of caviar?
Yeah, I just don't have anywhere else to go.
I mean, I guess I could go back to Rigby's, but Rigby doesn't really know me.
Uh, he'll never know me like Schluck knows me.
And, uh, I just wanna ask him a series of questions, but mostly just one.
Alright.
Juggles!
Uh, I feel like I just saw your face!
Yeah, I bet you're surprised to see me.
Uh, every time.
You know, I can't really tell.
You don't have many of your emotive muscles left, but, uh...
It's the eyebrows.
I, you know, I over plucked.
And now, when I look shocked, nobody knows.
Look at this.
Shocked?
Nobody knows.
Can I...
Can I try something?
Yeah.
Uh, I would like to...
Try to give him mechanical eyebrows.
Whether that's, like, drawing them on, or...
Like, improvising a set of eyebrows for him.
Are you gonna tattoo eyebrows with, uh, whatever you have on hand?
Yeah.
Or, well, I mean...
Yeah, I guess I could.
I don't know if I have...
Like, a jailhouse tattoo?
Yeah.
I mean, he does...
A jailhouse tattoo.
He does have, like, a...
He has, like, a cabinet of oddities.
So, maybe if he's got, like, a fur or something.
I would just like to tinker him a set of eyebrows.
All right.
Uh, you notice in the corner he has, like, some...
It looks like some rabbit pelts or some sort of pelt.
Might be, you know, a cat or a dog or something.
But it's definitely some sort of brown animal pelt.
And, uh, you see other bits and boobads.
And Skylark, uh, is...
Is willing.
So, he, uh, he lays down on the table.
And go ahead and tinker him a pair of eyebrows.
All right.
Uh, juggles, actions, tinker.
You, uh, you very skillfully and very artfully give him a pair of the finest eyebrows that anyone
could ask for.
Sure.
Can you just draw eyebrows on him?
Yeah.
Dare I say you look dashing?
He, uh, he looks at himself in a mirror and...
His face kind of bunches up and you see just the smallest, driest little tear just come down his face.
And I don't know what to say.
You've...
You really, uh...
You really changed my life here.
Uh, now people will know if I'm telling a joke or just telling them, uh, you know, something funny.
Well, we've always known that was always false.
I've never heard you tell a joke.
Oh, I'm sure I could tell one if given the time.
So, I do have a question to ask you.
Surprise!
What's the deal with these, uh, wait, hold on.
What are they called?
The Bureau of Reclaimers or something?
What are they doing?
Preservation, right?
The Bureau of Preservation.
Well, uh, they control everything, uh, that comes in and out of the city.
They export and import and, um, basically are the relatively powerful arm of government.
But second to the emperor himself.
So you're saying we shouldn't have crossed them?
Theoretically.
I'm saying, theoretically, if you were to cross them, um, you might be making an enemy, uh, that you may not want to make.
I mean, I know you've had your run-ins with the law chuckles and you've had your little scrapes and whatnot.
But the Ministry of Predator, first off, they have the word ministry in their name.
Uh, they're legal.
Oh, that's not just like a, like a sweet, like, nickname?
Like.
No, no, they definitely have government backing.
Oh, dear.
So, if one were to, say, sink a ship that, uh, theoretically they controlled, that would not be, that would be bad.
Theoretically, it would be really, really bad.
But no one would do that.
No one would intentionally go in there and kill one of their, any of their guardsmen or any of their lieutenants.
And would definitely not steal and then sink the ship as they were leaving.
Well, definitely not kill the ship.
That would be very unwise.
Oh, no, that would be really bad.
I'm surprised you haven't had any trouble with the spirit wardens yet.
That seems oddly specific.
Um, what if we did?
Is there something do you know of that we could prepare for a spirited warring?
Find you.
Oh, boy.
Okay.
Yo, boy.
Oh, boy.
Oh, you enjoy those eyebrows.
Chuckles, I want to give you something.
I feel like you, you're, you're a very lost young man.
And, well, no, I guess it's not going to be.
Uh, you know, here, let me give you this.
And, uh, he goes behind the counter and he pulls out a small sack and he hands it to you.
Uh, and inside is just kind of a, um, a general glittery powder.
Um, it's pink and it's bright and it's powdery.
And he goes, I don't really have a use for this.
It's not really my steam, but maybe you'll make some use of it.
You seem like a quirky type.
Oh, yeah.
I love powders.
Um, I am going to take this back to my lab.
I'm being earnest.
I do love powders.
And I have a lab, I think.
Someday.
You may.
If my grades are good enough.
Yeah.
Well, gee.
Thank you, uncle.
I am going to.
I am just going to do something cool with this.
I can tell.
All right.
Well, good luck, chuckles.
And just remember, try to stay out of trouble.
Unless there's any other information you want to give me about this pink powder.
I mean, is any.
Oh, no.
Have you ever heard of a glitter bomb?
Um, not in the context of this world.
Oh, it's great fun.
Sometimes people put it in the mail in an envelope.
And then when the person opens up the mail, they get glitter all over them.
Uh, it's a real, it's a real hoot, a pain in the ass to clean up.
I'll tell you, uh, you can have that one.
You really, really need to get off the internet.
It's rotting your brain.
Like, this guy was so intimidating.
And I'm just finding out he's just a fucking prankster.
He's like, it's a real hoot.
Those eyebrows have changed.
It's like funny how lurch is, like, pranking you.
I don't, I don't want you to think of this in the wrong way.
Don't try to eat it.
It is, it is plastic, shiny bits of metal.
I would say it is.
So, I wouldn't recommend eating it.
But, you know, you're, you're a smart boy.
You're a tinkerer.
You, you put it in something.
You, you'll figure it out.
All right.
Well.
Good day.
Toodaloo.
He lifts his hat and an onion falls out.
Oh.
Oh my God.
My onion.
How embarrassing.
That was my walking onion.
All right.
Uh, Squish, what are you up to?
Are you still the golden plum?
Or have you drowned your sorrows elsewhere?
I'm about, I'm leaving the golden plum.
All right.
And I would like to maybe stumble upon an electronics depot or even the, you know, the dumpster behind an electronics depot.
I'll take.
Let's see.
Hold on.
House.
Behind the golden, uh, plum, you, uh, you see a dumpster.
And it's just filled with, like, some random electronic parts.
Some wires, some connectors, some casings.
Um, and there's, it, it isn't guarded or anything.
It is just open trash.
Okay.
I'd like to, like, pull out the pamphlets that I got for the walkie-talkies to try to see if I can get any components to make them.
All right.
Um, I would roll for, uh, survey or, no, for study.
Uh, because that'll show, like, that way you can see if there's anything in there that's worth getting.
All right.
Oh!
Now I got it through.
Oh, did you get to take the lowest?
Yeah.
Um, as you stick your hand into the dumpster, uh, you hear a door open and a woman rocks out.
She goes, oi!
That's my trash!
Not yours!
Get out of there!
You threw it away!
Why are you so defensive of your garbage?
with a broom behind her and she just starts kind of beating you with it and shooing you away.
I'm going to fight zero.
And you're only able to take as many, uh, as many, uh, gadgets in your hands as, uh, as you can hold.
I can't fight this girl.
No, you're not fighting an old lady in the street over trash.
That's not happening.
No, you can't let him.
I want to fight this broad.
All right.
I'm going to let you take one on the progress clock.
And then, uh, yeah, if you want to try and fight this woman, you're more than welcome to.
I don't like the way you said that, but I'm going to do it.
All right.
Wow.
Who could have guessed?
Shut up.
Squish Trump over here.
You're not even there.
Oh, uh, so that's going to be your, uh, are you going to just like skirmish with her, like brawl with her in the street?
Yeah.
Okay.
Roll your skirmish.
Oh boy.
Oh, that's, that's really bad.
I can't even fight off this old lady.
She overpowers you quickly.
Um, and she just starts macking you with the broom.
And then she goes, and the other two women, uh, around the corner come out and they just start smacking.
Smacking you with your broom.
Uh, and, uh, you're not going to take any damage because they are old ladies, but they are going to give you a very, very mean look as you walk away.
Uh, and you're, uh, you're going to take parts for the walkie talkie, but they're only going to be partial parts and you're not going to know, like, they're not going to be exactly everything you need.
Right.
But it, it helps a little bit though.
You're definitely one step closer.
Okay.
All right.
I, I run away hiding my, my, or hanging my head in shame.
Well, the night's drawing to a close and one by one, you all slowly make your way back home.
To the junk fort.
Ah.
You all kind of got coming at the same time.
And, uh, there's definitely some tension here.
DD.
Come here, DD.
I need, I need a hug right now.
DD's going to crawl up to you and, you know, kind of sit on your lap.
Hang off like monkeys do.
Eh, I just, I just sit there with DD.
The big old smile on my face.
I sit in the corner and kind of just stare off into space.
I'm a little in the, I'm a little confused.
I'm a, I'm a little, I'm a little shook.
You might say.
And I'm.
Well, as you guys are.
Awkwardly in, also in the junk fort.
As you guys are sitting there.
You, you hear a light upon the top of your, your fort.
You just hear some, like, something like land.
Uh, on top of the fort.
It's not heavy.
What the hell is that?
DD, get him.
Uh.
Uh, DD.
Go see what that was.
DD goes and looks outside.
Uh, and as he comes, before he can, uh, really see what it is, a bird, a black bird, crow, a crow, uh, swoops in and just lands on the rafters.
Or on the doorway in front of the, uh, of the door.
And it caws at you.
Ah!
Nevermore!
DD, eat that bird.
Oh no, who died?
Is it the crow?
It was not the crow.
Inside, uh, as you look in the doorway, a man appears in a white robe with a white mask.
What the fuck?
With no face.
No face?
The mask has no face.
It's just a white mask.
Uh, I just put, added a picture into the, uh, discord.
Very.
And he kind of just, he looks at the three of you.
Do you know what you've done?
Um, relatively.
I mean, relatively.
Looks like we've been there.
Still some caviar.
I've been there for most of it.
You know what we've done?
We've got a giant hole there.
Does it really think that we think things through?
There's a giant hole in the middle of our fort.
What have we done?
The man is dripping wet.
He is completely soaked in his white robes.
Uh, and he, and he, uh, he pulls out a sack that he has and he pulls out two jars.
Uh, and inside are this glowing weirdish green goo that you guys know it now is, uh, is ectoplasm.
It's a spear.
It's a ghost in there.
And he goes, do you understand how hard it is to recover bodies that have been sunk in a ship
onto the seafloor?
Do you know how long you have to hold your breath for?
No, but that's really not my concern.
It's not that hard.
I don't know how long you three have been in Duskvall, but let me just remind you of something.
Every time you kill a spirit, a body, a person, um, their spirit lingers.
And if we don't collect it, it just stays there.
It just becomes a ghost, a wailing, screaming creature.
Um, and you three left the bodies at the bottom of, of the ocean at the bottom of the docks.
Okay.
So then let them stay there.
We can't have, we already have a severe ghost problem here.
We can't.
Here's the good news.
The good news is I was able to get two of them.
The bad news is like, I couldn't get the third.
Um, that's fine.
Two out of three is pretty good.
Good job, buddy.
You should be proud.
The thing is he, uh, the third one's pretty, he's become a ghost now.
And, um, well, I just wanted to give you a heads up.
Uh, he's heading for your house.
This, he looks around.
House.
Marsh.
Forgers?
Oh, I really hope he doesn't use this poop hole.
This gigantic security hole you've, we've built into our house.
And what, what is he going to do?
Congratulate us or give us a present?
Uh, no, I'm just going to let you know that Lieutenant Lightfall, uh, his ghost anyway,
he's decided that he's going to haunt the junk fort.
Um, and he's not too happy about that.
And, uh, as he finishes his sentence, you just hear this mournful wail.
Oh, yeah.
As.
Who's the one that officially killed Lightfoot?
Lightfell?
As Lieutenant Lightfell.
Technically it was, uh, Chuckles.
Uh, Lieutenant Lighthall.
Lightfell.
Uh, his ghostly remains.
Comes up through the poop hole.
And he just starts screaming.
Wait, I thought he was just sleeping.
Um, I'm going to take my holy water and throw it at him.
Uh, it's, he's not a demon, so it really doesn't do much.
Oh.
Just goes right through.
I'm going to hold on to my, my holy water.
He continues to scream.
I stand up and I try to, uh, attune to him.
Well, this is, this is going to make it hard to sleep.
All right.
So, regular attunement, what do we have to attune?
You have two that you can attune with.
And then because of your, uh, your.
Well, not the eyepatch.
Because of, uh, your skill as a team.
Your crew upgrade.
You get three.
You can roll three.
So what do I, what do I put?
So what do I pull?
What do I roll when I roll attune?
I'm looking for him.
Because it's like, I have to hit a modifier.
You go to actions, attune, and then plus one.
Plus one.
Okay.
So it should roll three.
Actions.
Attune.
Plus one.
Meanwhile, he's still screaming.
And the spirit warden, uh, is still standing in the doorway.
Well, you're able to attune to him.
You see him.
He's standing there.
And he's screaming at you.
And he's like, this is torture.
I'm under water.
And I'm dead.
Sorry.
Well, you've completely attuned to him.
Oh, I'm attuned.
I'm fully attuned.
And I'm peace.
This is, we got a live one over here.
He's like a mackerel.
He's trying to get away from me.
He's just, uh, woo.
So how do we, how do we get him to not be mad?
Uh, the, uh.
Oh, I was asking captain.
Sorry.
I want to.
The only thing I can think of is put him in my.
I'm going to put him in my, in my, uh, in my, uh, spirit bottle.
My spirit bottle.
Oh, I was close.
How do I do that?
Do I just command him into it?
Uh, yeah, you can command him.
Uh, if you want to use like your lightning hook, you can get an additional modifier.
Plus you have your sunglasses.
Uh, sorry.
I patch.
So that's a, what two?
If you use your lightning hook.
Yeah.
I'm going to use the lightning hook.
That's what I was assuming.
I'm grabbing.
I'm like, I feel like I'm fishing and it's just like, it's kind of like fishing meets ghostbusters.
You know, in fact, now that I think about it, they were really just fishing, weren't they?
But for ghosts.
Really makes you.
Anyway, roll.
Partial success.
Oh my God.
I want to see what you had a five.
I wanted a full success.
Obviously.
You're able to grapple him into the, with the lightning hook, but you can't quite get him into the, to the bottle yet.
Meanwhile, he's screaming and the spirit warden is just kind of shouting over him.
Now, as a spirit warden, we do provide a service where we can, uh, get rid of the ghost after they've decided to haunt you.
But I'm going to tell you, it's not an expensive and it is a monthly subscription.
Yeah.
We're not doing that.
I want to rob this guy.
This spirit warden.
Oh, wow.
Who could have possibly predicted this?
Once again, squish turbo strikes.
Squish turbo strikes again.
Are you trying to pickpocket him or are you going to just like rob him straight out?
No, he's trying to shoot him.
Pickpocket.
Oh, okay.
Uh, I think that would be kind of a finesse roll.
Uh, cause you're trying to like, you know.
He's also looking you in the eyes.
No, he's focused on the skills.
Oh, it's risky, by the way.
It's very desperate.
Oh, it's desperate.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Uh-oh.
Oh, yes.
Wow.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Uh, you're able to pickpocket him.
He doesn't have much on him.
Just a little bit of like a pocket change.
Uh, you get his ID.
Um, and, uh, he's going to have two spirit bottles on him filled with ghosts already.
So you can take that, all of that if you'd like.
Oh, yeah.
I'm taking all of that.
He's too busy giving his speech to notice.
He's like, it's a monthly subscription.
Um, you know, the first six months are relatively, you know, reasonable.
But then, you know, after a while, the price does have to increase as long as the number of ghosts.
You can have three ghosts, uh, per month that we take care of.
And meanwhile, the ghost, uh, Lieutenant Lightfell is.
Can I try commanding him again?
If you want to.
I'm going to do it again.
And then, well, you said two, right?
So it's your command plus your, uh, your light, your eyepatch.
So plus one.
Okay.
Just plus one.
Come on.
I did.
Oh, that's like a critical.
How did you wait?
You're don't your command.
Oh, yeah.
Your command is plus.
That is plus one.
Um, he.
Ghost hits you in the nuts.
He turns right at you and screams as loud as he can.
Bah!
I scream back.
I start screaming back.
Uh-huh.
In, in doing so, you're definitely going to take, like, three stress.
That's fine.
I don't care anymore.
So, uh, I guess what I'm saying is, uh, the, uh, the spirit Warren says is, uh, I can, I
can get rid of him now, but, um, it's going to be a, it's going to be a monthly payment.
How much for a, uh, I can't get rid of him.
How much for a one-time payment?
Oh.
Jeez.
Guys, let me try one more time.
I guarantee you, third time I'm going to get it.
Third time I'm going to get it.
I don't, I don't believe that.
Third time.
Come on.
Third time.
Come on.
Uh, he just completely ignores you at this point.
Uh, it's going to be, uh, it's one time.
That'd be like three coin.
Cause I gotta, I gotta write it off the books, you know, since it's not a regular subscription
and, uh, you know, it, it, it will cost you.
All right.
I give him three coin to, to get rid of Lieutenant Leifel.
Do you have three coin?
I've got, I've got four.
Oh yeah.
Cause you sold your caviar?
Yeah.
All right.
Uh, so you, uh, you pay Lieutenant Leifel.
He, uh, he takes the caviar, kind of looks at it, sticks it in his pocket, completely ignoring
the fact that you've stolen everything else from him and, uh, takes a, takes his own little
spirit hook, wraps it around the ghost, uh, pops it into a bottle, puts the cork on it.
And said, um, if you're going to kill someone, make sure you leave the body on the deck.
At least do that for us.
You know, and I gotta go home and change my clothes.
I'm completely soaking wet.
And, uh, with that, he leaves.
Okay.
Do we get to keep the ghost?
No, he took the ghost with him.
Oh.
So as soon as he leaves, I've got these two ghost bottles.
Mm-hmm.
And I was...
I'm filled with ghosts.
Mm-hmm.
And I opened one of them.
Why would you do that?
A ghostly...
I want to know who's in it.
I, it's like a genie, right?
Like, it's just like...
Do you have the ability to get him back in the bottle?
That was the whole problem with the lieutenant that was there.
That's why...
Not in a bottle.
That's why Captain's right here.
Yeah.
All right.
He's so good at commanding ghosts.
That there's nothing to fear?
No, I'm sulking in the corner.
I'm not...
I'm very...
I'm both upset in-game and out-of-game.
This is like, you know those times when the characters cross over in emotions?
That's what I'm going through right now.
Uh, the ghost slips out.
It's a...
It's the ghost of one of the guards you killed earlier.
Uh, last...
Last time.
Last week.
Cool.
Yeah, this is awkward.
Cool, cool, cool.
Get back in the bottle.
He starts to scream.
No, I'm just kidding.
Uh, he...
He kind of, like, looks around and he's...
He's very dazed and very confused.
Captain, you gonna...
Zulk in the corner?
I'll try...
One.
Well, and since I've already got the bottle...
I'll say...
Since he's already been captured, I should get, like...
Or...
Captain should get a...
Bonus die, but...
He'd get a partial success.
Uh...
What do you do, Captain?
I don't know.
Sorry, I'm a little annoyed.
Um...
I couldn't tell.
Um...
Well, no, I just...
I'm a little pissed.
I went through all the...
I went to get these new things and I still fucking suck.
It's just annoying because my character's built around this particular skill set and it's sucking really badly right now.
It does suck, but that's...
And...
The dice...
Also, it didn't change anything.
Like, the ghost is still gone.
Right.
Yeah.
Okay.
Um...
I don't know.
I try doing the hook thing and I guess I grapple it for a little bit.
Uh...
You grapple him.
Uh...
You get a hook around him.
You command him.
You just tell him,
Bottle!
Because you're just done with everything.
And, uh...
He just kind of slowly disappears back into his...
His little bottle.
Uh...
You put the cork on it and the light inside kind of dims.
Uh...
It's not...
It's not too strong.
I throw the bottle over to Captain.
I say thanks for...
Thanks.
Don't you collect ghosts?
Yeah.
I'm having a really rough night both, like, you know, because psychologically and also, like, just because I'm not...
Yeah.
But now...
Now you have another ghost.
Cheer up, Buttercup.
And he's a sailor.
Exactly.
So you really are a pirate captain now.
You are.
You're a ghost pirate...
Or a pirate ghost...
Ghost captain.
Well...
That is the, uh...
That's all I had for, uh...
For today.
Okay.
Thank you.