so uh just to kind of recap i know i didn't do a newsletter but uh you guys are in your junk fort
it was a rough it was a rough go of things oh my god
sorry oh my god it was a rough go of things uh you uh got accosted by some spirit wardens
they released a ghost in your house uh you had to pay to get rid of it it was it was a pain in the
butt but the sun also rises yeah uh oh uh other news squish is now do you own the the golden plum or
do you you just work there i just work there you work there yes um chuckles owns it
chuckle no no chuckle chuckles ate a lot of caviar whale caviar oh that's oh that's right
i hate i hate my payment
you you ate like a literal king uh you got i think you got some uh pink glitter that uh
novak just had stored uh whatever his name is uh had stored around somewhere pink powder glitter bomb
yeah he just gave it to you because he had no use of it
okay and uh captain's been struggling with his uh ghost powers a little i'm impotent
and uh he planted
in the corner i am completely emasculated and i'm in this corner and i have just been
sulking for weeks or however long it's been the entire time
okay but i read a book about myself oh that's true and the book was older than myself so that's weird
how'd that happen but i got a and i got an eye patch
oh that's right the glasses
uh i i wrote down pounding the chili do you think that's going to be important later
uh i i i know you added like uh squish added chili powder to that uh soup you made
and he used it as a weapon he weaponized the chili powder which really shows ingenuity
exactly
did well did anybody re-listen to it
no i didn't i didn't either so i just i was just curious
so we all have selective memories tonight
yes it's gonna be between the four of us
it's an even playing field
everyone has to be on their best behavior
i'm gonna be a handful
scout's honor
well you are a little stinker
ain't i a stinker
all right
ready to go
all right
yeah
he's wailing
maybe he's become a ghost
dude i even drew a picture of how my sad my pirate was he was very sad
can we can we make that your avatar picture
this is why i can't draw for my books
it looks like my character is wearing a dress
he is
what's wrong with that
it's a frock coat
yeah
a dress
it's made out of fresh frock
only the freshest
frock lobster
well
uh it's a new day
the sun uh the sun rises
and uh you guys have been asked to go back to baz's office
uh later in the day whenever you guys get a chance
he has uh
has an important job for you
he's gonna be pissed
he's always pissed
i'm sure he heard the bells
oh yeah
yeah
who
who didn't hear those roarest bells
uh well lieutenant lightfeld
the ghost
he was
he heard the bells probably
whatever happened to him
does somebody
do you have him in a bottle brandon
or did the spirit warden take him
uh
which who
lightfeld
i don't think i ever took him
all i have about my notes
is i said uh i got a new eye patch
with plus one command
then i have a giant arrow
go to the bottom
so it says still failed
which gives me ghosts
i give you a ghost
if i could read your mind
love
so he must have given you lightfeld then
why would i have a ghost
i i think after
i think you paid the spirit warden
to get rid of it
and uh
and he you took it
also you were fucking wasted
i was wasted
oh you also have a monkey by the way too
let's not forget that
no i got dd
but
but she has a debt
i got written down
she has a life debt
yeah
oh that makes way more sense
a life debt
than a gambling debt
for that monkey
he smoked away his life
the monkey has a smoking addiction
and a gambling addiction
this is the coolest monkey
poor impulse control
all right
well
i'm just gonna send you over there
yeah we decided
yeah i figured
it was all consensual
all right
do you guys see that
i just want to make sure it's working
no
you did not
you might not have activated the scene
oh man
oh wow
i was activated
oh dear
baz
baz is sitting there
yeah
he's like
well you guys have had a
busy couple of weeks
huh
yeah
who would have thought
picking up some caviar
would end at death
so much of it
and impotence
so much
you don't
you don't get to be my age
without having a little bit of death
and a little bit of impotence
that's inspiring
that's you know
things
things happen boys
but
you've been doing up
you're on the up and up
uh
so up and up
uh
you remember our friends
uh
over at the uh
a rubian uh
school there
i remember that little fat kid
oh
templeton
clark
what's his name
yeah
clark templeton
pissy pants
templeton
is what we were calling
pissy pants
yeah
pissy pants
he did piss his pants
so yeah
what about him
well they got
uh
they got their hands
on uh
a little
little artifact
uh
i don't know how they
smuggled it in here
but they're selling it
and uh
i got it
i got a job for you guys
if you're interested
do you want the artifact
well here's the thing
you're gonna steal it
and replace it with a fake
ah
the old switcheroo
yeah
so here's the thing
i have
a
on my
um
you could call it payroll
a uh
a historian
in a rubian artwork
he's one of the best
in the business
he
he can
tell you what's real
what's fake
an authenticator
and uh
he and i
have worked it out
uh
we're gonna
he's gonna
has a fake
uh
we'll swap it out
and then uh
they're gonna sell it
the rubian school
is gonna sell it
well the plan is
for them to sell it
and uh
they'll look like
real assholes
when we tell them
it's uh
it's a fake
why would we tell them
it's a fake
ah
you see
for the lulz
well for the lulz
but the uh
you know miranda
that bitch
uh
they don't have a lot
of good standing
left
and i can't
actually act out
against them
right now
or uh
you know
it's gonna look
kind of bad
for me
i don't really
want to start
a war
but if i
embarrass the hell
out of them
the point is
is that someone
else
it's gonna be
auctioned off
if someone
else is gonna
sell it
we're gonna
call it a fake
uh reveal it
to be a fake
and uh
they're gonna lose
a lot of public
standing
and that's kind
of the goal
here
is just general
political
mayhem
political impotence
and it's
not like that
word huh
well you know
that's why i'm
not going in there
and stealing it
plus the party's
in a real ritzy
part of town
you guys been
to brightstone
yet
been down there
sounds better
than dull
you know
it's a good
name
it's a well
named street
uh
well it's not
a street
it's a district
it doesn't matter
point is
lord roland watt
he's having a
big powwow
over at his
house
he's gonna
sell
he's auctioning
off all this
ruby and
jewelry
artwork
whatever
i need you
to steal
the idol
uh
replace it
with a fake
my guy
on the inside
is gonna
call it a fake
we're gonna
reveal them
to be a bunch
of idiots
and uh
you know
if you guys
want to sell
that afterwards
you're more
than welcome
to
wait we get
to keep it
yeah i don't
give a shit
what you do
with it
we're just
trying to
embarrass them
how much
is it worth
how much
in caviar
uh i don't
know what the
idol to caviar
ratio is uh
but it is
worth eight points
it's worth a
lot of money
interesting
so you
know
it's
you like
money
i
am hungry
you
would have
been able
to buy
more food
if you
didn't eat
your last
score
now that
doesn't make
any sense
how could
i if i
you're saying
if i don't
eat then i
would have
more food
yes
if you
didn't eat
that you
would have
more food
and i feel
like i would
just be
hungrier
no
you lads
are strange
i'm just
sitting in
the corner
of the
office
wherever
we're at
where are
we going
to get
this
replacement
just
slapping
his impotence
throwing it
all over
the place
just spewing
my impotence
all over
your banisters
well there's
a little bit
of tricky
work in
that see
uh i don't
really know
what this
thing looks
like they're
kind of keeping
it hush
hush
so uh
you're gonna
have to make
it
wait
you had a
guy
we have a
fake we
could just
look at the
fake to see
what it looks
like
you could
where where's
the fake
i don't have
it
who's got
it
the guy
running the
auction lord
what
he's got the
fake and the
real
no no no
he's got a
real one
i i don't
have a fake
one
we have to
get a fake
one
you have
to get
a fake
one that's
gonna be
part of
it
oh
how do
we know
what it
looks like
i thought
you said
you had
a guy
that had
a fake
one
oh
well
you have a
contact
there's
story
yeah
you could
try talking
to him
i mean
you could
definitely
try that
oh so
you need a
rough
talk
you're saying
oh
you
listen the
guy's already
pretty rough
i don't know if you need to do that but if you want his name is kensington
turns wall
sounds like a real nerd
well
listen he's not my cup of tea
he is an art historian
he is my cup not my cup of tea man but he knows his shit and he's in shit so he needs a favor
what's his name tarkington fart water
it's definitely kensington turns wall but you may want to call him fartington
but uh go talk to kensington you know he's got here's the thing about kensington he's a little bit he's a little bit of a difficult case and you're gonna probably have to keep your eye on him during this party i i trust you guys not to get into too much trouble kensington
kensington has a way of just kind of falling into it so
i don't know why why you trust us to not get in trouble
why i trust you guys well you you sunk that boat nobody killed you
it's just there
yeah but we got a ghost
all we had to do was steal caviar
we killed like four people stole a monkey sunk the boat
and we got in trouble
and we got haunted
and we came back
and you came back
i i don't think you ought to be convincing him why you shouldn't trust us uh squish i mean
yeah i don't know what your name is
what your end game is
we're all
the thing is if this whole thing goes ass you know tits and ass up
you guys seem like you know how to get yourself out of a scrape
on opposite sides of the body they won't both be up
well that's when you know it's real bad
that is really bad
you're broken in half at the same time
yeah
yeah but you guys you guys you guys can get yourselves out of it
and uh plus if you don't do it i'll kill you
whoa whoa
whoa
now that's
i'm just
just kidding
i'm just kidding
who made the junk fort nice
you're gonna want it back
wait that's on the table
no
he's the one that gave us the junk fort
so all right so
how's that working out for you by the way
great it's got a giant hole in the middle of it
yeah that was not my
we didn't vote on that by the way
i just woke up there was a hole
and we got carpet on the walls
and drapes for beds
and monkey hair everywhere
well
it is
so this
he looks at you and he's like
okay
all right so
so we gotta go find
turkington fart water
and convince him to make us
an idol
or he's gonna be at the party
we have to talk to him at the party
whatever
how
listen there's a fake that needs to be made
there's a party
turkington
uh he's my own character
i can't remember his name
turnswall will be there
and uh
turnswall will be there
you want to talk to him earlier
you can
we we gotta
we gotta make
it's gotta be a fake
that is at the auction
and you can't steal it
like if you want to steal the real thing
and then keep it for yourself
that's totally fine
you want to replace it later
i don't care what you do with it
but there needs to be a fake
at the auction
when they have the auction
turnswall will stand up
and say wait
that's a fake
and they'll be so embarrassed
it's the perfect plot
it's not convoluted
it's not difficult
it's so straightforward
oh we have different definitions
of straightforward
i mean if you just told us
to go and kill four sailors
and sink a boat
now that would be easy to do
this
i'm hardly following along
but i'm not a smart man
and i feel like you're mansplaining to us
yeah
all right
but i'm willing to go along
with it
okay
where does uh
turntable live
uh
he lives in crow's foot
somewhere
i don't know exactly
uh
hold on
and he uh
he writes you his address
and he uh
baz writes down the address
and he hands it to you
and he's like
he's got a little shop down there
you can go bother him
uh
you know
it's entirely up to you
okay
i take the address
and i put it under my hat
perfect
oh i got one more thing
for you too
that's a hat
now look
you can't
you can't fight
while you're there
there's gonna be
private guards
blue coats
it's really not gonna be a big
you know
a great idea
but i do have a way in
uh
and here
he hands you an invitation
uh
for the party
how many
just one
that's the kicker
just one invitation
for one person
you could probably convince them
to let you know
come in with a date
but
yeah
definitely just for one
don't worry fellas
i got a plan
i've got a plan
you're gonna turn your
your frock into a dress
and go as a woman
i think we're thinking
the same thing
all right
we say it on one
on the count of three
one
two
three
i was gonna say
stack each other up
and get a really long
trench coat
yes
all right
we're on the same plan
but who's gonna be
on the bottom
uh
whoever's got the
strongest legs
oh shit
all right
so also
one last thing
listen i know it's a little
complicated
uh i got a maid in there
her name is hat sit
if you need a help
she might be able to help you
hat sit
oh hat sit
hat
sit
yeah she works at the
at the watt manor
uh she's a
she's a dear and near
daughter of a friend of mine
and uh
you know
if you need a
if you need a hand or something
she might be able to help you
i'm not gonna say she does
you know
she's good at cleaning
and she's good at talking
but what else is she good for
am i right
walking
yes
all right
you are quite sexist
i found out
just now
who
baz or me
baz
well good luck to you boys
and uh
just remember
if you don't come back
that sucks
it's the
the baz promised
if you can't win
you lose
all right
uh so
we leave his
i'm thinking we leave his office
and we're just
walking in the alley
just sort of
kind of confused
and uh
just jabbering to each other
i don't know
what the fuck we're gonna do
i mean
i feel like there's some pieces here
that we could work with
um
probably should talk to kensington
yeah
yeah we should do that
is there a
and we need to talk to a tailor
or is this plan not going through anymore
with the
uh
or
can the trench coat be
drape colored
that's brilliant
drape colored
or made of drapes
yes
made of drapes and monkey hair
and monkey hair
it's the new fashion
listen
that'd be just sell
td for a fortune
listen
the only thing we gotta do
we gotta just
whoever's on top
has to stick a cigarette in their mouth
then they have to believe
that we're off age
where are we gonna get a cigarette
the monkey
that monkey's our ticket
to getting everything we want
we just gotta
you know
keep an open mind
we just have to
wish on his paw
oh
that's pretty
that's a deep cut
yeah i don't like that
all right
so
uh
let's
let's walk over
so we walk over to
kensington's place
or the address
on the card
yeah that's fine
i like it
is it var
oh wow
no it's in crow's foot
it's like near the uh
i forgot we were making
walkie talkies
good thing we have a
time to remind us
i'm making walkie talkies
i got us kicked out
yes
yep and
yep
you stole the rug
you just cut a square
rug out of the
out of the library
out of the radio shack
oh i was so drunk
yeah
i mean
you know
it's cute
when you're 18
yes
i don't know
if you can uh
who knows
the shadow knows
the captain
knows
captain does
uh
so here's a picture
of turn swallow
for you
you see him
you said you went
to his shop
well yeah
we walked up
to his to the address
oh okay
so uh as you walk
up to the shop
it's pretty run down
looking but again
most places in crow's
foot is
um
but uh through the
window you can see
just kind of like
uh shelves filled
with little trinkets
little statues
little pieces of
jewelry
it does all seem
very very dusty
and just kind of
you know generally
archivist
um there's papers
everywhere
and there's a single
table and there's a
man sitting inside
of it with his
head face on the
desk
are you dead
let's uh
go in
uh you go inside
and turn swallow
uh turns wall is
just sitting
at his desk
and like i said
he's got his head
uh face down
uh he's not dead
he is
snoring heavily
and as you walk
up to his desk
you notice there's
a lot of bottles
on the floor
and they kind of
clink as you get
closer and closer
oh not another
drunk we already
have a drunk
who's drunk
yeah
fucking
squish
no that's you
squish
i'm saying
squish
because i'm
squishing
in my feet
uh
what
he's got wet
socks
continue
what
uh
are a
mr
turd swallow
uh
he uh
snores
quite heavily
oh boy
uh
i'm
take out
your onion
no
we don't
want to ruin
that
just yet
uh
let's
tap him
on the
shoulder
mr
turn swallow
he
what
he wakes
up with a
start
kind of
does one
of these
and he's
like
i wasn't
sleeping
oh no
of course
not we just
we know you
were hard at
work
uh
i'm
very difficult
it's very
difficult to
see you see
the uh
rubian language
is made of a
very complex
complicated symbols
and uh
as he's talking
you notice he's
got like the
indentation of
like some paper
and like just
some random
shit on his
desk and his
face
uh
it's it's
very complicated
you know
needs close
close contact
and i uh
glasses you see
and he kind of
pulls off his
little uh
his glasses
his little round
glasses
uh
turn swallow
is a very
dinky
looking guy
he's uh
you know
in a nice
ish suit
but it's
definitely
very worn
his hair
is kind
of parted
uh
right down
the middle
does
drool
help you
read those
symbols
um
well it's
a very dry
place
uh
aruvia
you know
extra moisture
never hurts
don't listen
to him
i know
i'm sure
it's very
very complicated
i'm sure
cut me off
yeah i'm
sure you
you weren't
going anywhere
you're
you're very
intelligent i'm
sure and that's
why we're here
basworth sent
us
baskissor
bas
basil
exposition
his face
kind of falls
and he's like
wow
yeah
that
um
well
what did he
send you
for
i'm going to
the party
i promise
i said
i'd be
there
i said
i'd
show up
i said
i wouldn't
drink
so i'll
definitely be
at that
party
it's
i'm going
you don't
need to
don't need to
bully me
or threaten
me
i get it
please
do you know
what idol
they're selling
oh
the eruvian
idol
the lion
idol
i gotta tell
you this
thing is
crazy
uh
they just
found it
it's been
lost in
the desert
for a thousand
years
or you know
that's at least
what they say
uh
and it's
it's this
beautiful
hand carved
idol
here i gotta
i gotta picture
if you guys
want to see
it
would you
say it's
humanoid
no it's
definitely
it's it's a
stylized picture
of a lion
here
uh
throw it in
the discord
i think
you're throwing
the wrong discord
am i
oh
that's i did
hear it
oh yeah
you're in the
bs one
oh yeah
look at that
dweeb
what is the
bs one
uh
bs stands
for bridget
craze
oh okay
that's a pretty
ugly looking
lion
that's a
lion
it looks
like a
dog
with a
mane
and some
a serious
case of
anxiety
do you think
you can make
a replica
of that
uh
i
you know
some people
say a small
child can make
a replica
of that
but
you know
the details
the fine
work
i don't
know if
it's something
i could
necessarily
do
um
do you
know a
small child
who could
do that
or a monkey
perhaps
could you teach
a monkey
to do it
could our
monkey do
this is what
we're asking
i suppose
you have a
monkey
yes
that's
she's more
of an ape
but
and really
a slave
type
i guess
you could
say a
colleague
yeah
maybe
she lives
on our
flat
it's a
she
it's not
i've been
calling her
crandall
uh
if your
colleague
wanted to
give it a
try
you you
you certainly
could i
could try
my hand
at it
too
um
you know
it's uh
he starts
like kind
of
wiping his
brow
and he's
like it's
you know
i've been
working really
hard here
uh
all day
and uh
you know
i've got
this party
later tonight
i don't
know if
i could
uh
you know
uh
i haven't
really had
anything to
you know
eat or
drink or
drink
uh
in the last
few hours
uh
if you
you know
i
i would
uh
hey
juckles
i'm
juckles
yeah
trying to
get your
attention
all right
hello
would you
give him
your onion
no
give him
one of
your onions
oh i i
possibly couldn't
eat i i
couldn't eat
you just said
you haven't
eaten anything
well i meant
more about
the
these aren't
eaten onions
these are
sipping onions
you know
just eat
onion this
fine
captain
you
give him
some of
your stash
what stash
you're my
stash
i know you've
got stash
i don't know
what you're
talking about
if i did
have stash
it'd have
to affect
my load
he's
infinite
load
could you
just imagine
if the
captain was
just conniving
the whole
game
about what
being
meta
give him
a nip
if you
give him
a nip
of yours
i'll give
him a nip
of mine
all right
i pull out
a big
bottle of
whiskey
out of
my coat
my frog
coat
i don't
even know
where i
got this
and i
pulled two
onions out
of my
hat
it's like
stone soup
i would have
told you about
this gm but i
didn't want
the captain
so are you
guys feeding
him an onion
whiskey soup
well i'd say
it's more of a
meal it's more
of a gulag
goulash
i'd say it's
a cocktail
it's a
sipping soup
all right
i'm gonna have
each of you
uh roll
just one dice
nothing specific
just roll one
each
no way this
can fail
oh six
oh wait
that did not
work
wait i
forgot
hit the
dice six
well you
can just
hit the
dice on
the left
side of
the screen
oh boy
you guys
suck
yeah but
you
why did
turn
swallow
because i
had him
highlighted
oh i didn't
see it here
okay roll
one dice
well that's
worse
that's worse
he eagerly
takes uh
the both
the onion
and the uh
the whiskey
from you and
especially the
whiskey he holds
very close to his
chest and he
says be back in
an hour
oh my god
you oh be
back in an
hour
all right all
right we're
going we're
going wait did
they just ran
off together
no he's telling
you go out
come back in
an hour
and he took
the onion too
yes he's taking
the onions and
the whiskey
can i look
around while he
while he ran
out and see
if there's anything
no he's trying
he's so he can
concentrate he's
telling us to get
out
no he's like
get out come
back in an
hour all
right so i
imagine we're
out on the
stoop and he
just slammed the
door behind us
yes i get real
mad that he took
my bottle and
then i pull out
another one
if you had pulled
out a second
high
10 high
bottle
the commitment
to the bit
divorce and i
pull out i pull
out a third
onion from my
hat and i
bite it like
what is wrong
with you
how many
onions do
you have
how many
bottles do
you have
it's like
you're an
onion you
have so many
layers yeah
layers of
onions i'm an
onion of an
onion it's
onions all the
way down
yes what's so
hard to understand
well i guess we
got some time to
kill
you want to
get drunk
one hour
no
want an
onion
no
yeah what
should we do
for an hour
oh let's go
talk to that
maid
yeah she's at
the party though
maybe she's smoking
right now on
on a break
well let's
let's talk
about our
plan for
what we're
gonna do
like could you
imagine like
anything like
hey you want to
go meet up with
bridget nah she's
probably busy at
work maybe she's
outside smoking
she might be
they love to
smoke maids
mom and dad
are at dinner
well maybe
they're outside
smoking
all right well
all right what
what did you say
squish what do
you want to do
oh we should
talk about our
plan talk about
the plan all
right which one
of us is most
charismatic or
more are we
asking that like
philosophically or
are we asking
that like in
the book
as much as i
did love the
really long
trench coat idea
uh perhaps you
know there's not
a lot of 12
foot people here
in this town
so we don't
know that what
kind of people
exist are there
any 12 foot
people in
south jim
there's some
very tall demons
12 foot not
quite so and
one of us is a
demon so
yes you know
in terms of like
persuasiveness
squish actually
has the best
persuasiveness he
has the best
sway score that
doesn't sound
right check it
run the numbers
again
if he has a
degree i haven't
seen it yeah
he's this expert
and there's a
degree on his
wall that i
haven't seen it
do you think
well okay what
about this squish
do you think you
can get it as
part of the the
the cooking staff
i have no idea
i don't know if
there's gonna be
cooking staff
i mean i assume
it's a party
there's a maid
what does a maid
have to do with
food
well what i'm
thinking is you
get it as a
cooking staff
well i was thinking
one of us gets
in through the
cooking staff
one of us gets
in as a maid
and one of us
gets in through
the ticket
well i i think
what what we
should do is one
person goes in
with the invitation
talks to this uh
hat set character
to get her to open
the back door to
let the other two
in
all right yeah
but one's dressed
as a maid
why
because it's hot
not on any of
us it's not
i mean i was a
cabin boy
just let him wear
a fucking maid
suit for crying
out loud
why you always
trying to put
him down
you were a
cabin boy on
one ship for
like an hour
and it's
cabin boy
i ever had
i'm so drunk
and sad
you have a
cabin boy in
your pocket
is that a
sexual thing i
know
no
oh yes
your ghost was
a cabin boy
felix
yeah
it was the
best
oh he was
a camera
i ever had
wait i thought
that was me
well you know
felix was cabin
boy then he
became butler
and then i think
he died
funny how that
happened
okay
we could just
two days away
from retirement
we can't
we
i mean that's
not a bad
plan
i like i like
the waitstaff
plan too
whatever you want
to do i'm just
coming up with
i'm just shooting
the shoot
shooting the
i mean i'm also
okay with still
with okay with
getting a long
trench coat but
that's how low
my bar is
for this
for my for
plans going
tonight
we know
how you
like your
bars
yeah
with whiskey
not after
you're there
nope
okay so
yeah what
are we
so
well i mean
i guess it's
all right
squish you
got to decide
you're gonna
be you're
you're either
gonna need to
pretend to be
a chef or
waitstaff or
something like
that like
probably from
like a
uniform from
the golden
plum and
because i mean
we don't know
but it stands to
reason that at
this this event
they would have
hors d'oeuvres and
stuff or since
you're the most
charismatic you
would take the
invitation so i
think that's the
tie-breaking vote
what are you more
comfortable doing
i would like
the take the
invitation and
let you two in
the back door
okay um
we i'm trying to
think do we need
costumes i guess i
guess the point of
the game isn't to
do too much
upfront planning but
that's the general
plan is to sneak
in one of us is
pretending to be a
muckety-muck and
the other two are
gonna wait to try
and get in the
back yes i've got
great stealth i
think we don't
i'm trying to
think if we need
stealth i mean it
it depends on how
you want to approach
it if you want to
like sneak like in
probably or if you
want to just be like
let in with the
crowd um i mean
that's that's how
you guys want to
play it though i've
also got guile we
can hide in a crate
next to the
rhubarb
i don't know we're
just trying to come
in in the back so i
guess we're just
gonna try to meet
them on a smoke
break
delivery from
for mongo
candy gram for
mongo
right we're gonna get
a crate we're gonna
lift our fucking box
for it down here
i mean we are in the
1800s there's crates
everywhere everything is
made of crates and
they're all filled with
rutabaga yes we'll just
throw that out well a
lot of those statements
are true and some of
are false
all right is it have
we argued it for an
hour yet
i was waiting for you
you guys you guys good
with your plan
i mean it's not getting
any better
we're gonna go outside
so the plan is
squish is gonna sneak
in and we're gonna
outside meet the
waitstaff for a
cigarette we're not
gonna come in we're
just gonna go out
by a cigarette
i'm not gonna sneak
in no yeah you're
going in the front
door you have an
invitation yeah right
right right and
you'll have to give us
a sign when they're
going on the smoke
break which we would
know because of the
maid and we'll go out
there and we'll pretend
to be cigarette dealers
where did this smoke
break come from
isn't that what they do
in the back
yeah everyone goes
at every single
party there's a smoke
break in the back with
the waitstaff and
anybody else who wants
to have a cigarette
you know to get away
you know from the
hustle and bustle
yeah the puffle
muscle
ironclad
you're just jealous that
you didn't come up with
it squish
are you two pretending
to be waitstaff or
you're just sneaking in
with them
no we're just having
cigarettes with them
we're gonna wing it
okay great perfect
um as you finish your
plan the door of the
the uh of turn swallows
room or whatever shop
bursts open and he's
looking very disheveled
and he's got like hair
and going in one
direction his like
suits all askew and
you know he's been
sweating he's really
really sweaty and he
kind of smells now a
little bit like onion
um but he hands you
what seems to be to
to your very limited
knowledge a perfect
replica of the
eruvian idol
here he's breathing
really heavily he's like
it's done take it
well in my very limited
knowledge this is an
exact replica
you don't know what
this cost me
i take it and i put it
under my hat
you know what plus one
stress for that
yeah
no i'm just kidding you
don't need to do that
wait that was a hat
yes
all right well it is uh
it is time to go to the
party do you guys want to
take a quick break before
you go there
yes
okay
everyone get a drink
you think we need more
drinks
more drinks
and more stinks
stink break
since the beginning or at
least my phone is for
andy and it looks like
he's just been taking a
drag of his big
forever
what's up to you?
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
next one.
okay so we'll be right back to the
you know what's weird about that
lion?
what?
that's like a real statue.
it's called a Kenyan lion.
yeah.
from Kenya!
was that a power thirst reference?
what?
was that a power thirst reference?
yeah!
very.
that's great dude good stuff.
from Kenya.
she said that what she was saying
was that a that statue is a real
statue.
yeah it's like a real like a holy
object.
oh for the devil I assume.
it makes me really happy every time
I see it because I just laugh at it.
I forgot about it and when I was
reviewing my notes today I remembered
what it looked like.
I remembered what it looked like.
Oh stupid face.
Thank you.
Hello.
All right.
You guys ready to do this?
Everyone buckled in?
Okay.
So a couple things.
You guys got to set your load.
How much stuff you want to carry in.
All right.
Let me see.
Can I click on my character?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, wait.
Are you guys on here?
No.
Oh, here.
I assume I don't start in the middle.
No.
You guys are, you guys are, well, hiding out, I suppose.
I'm going to put the captain and Chuckles kind of off to the side just so you're not in the middle of everything.
I'm going to do a light loadout.
That's three or five?
One to three.
One to three is light?
No.
Okay.
You're kind of a...
I'm a robot.
Yeah.
Am I a robotic right now?
Very.
Am I still robotic?
Yeah, but that sounded pretty cool.
That sounded less cool.
That's bullshit.
Damn it.
Everything was fine before.
What do you do?
He's the most technologically knowledgeable guy I ever...
I know, but he has the worst internet connection sometimes.
I don't know what happens.
Yeah.
Brandon, your load?
Uh, I don't know.
Uh, where's my load stuff at?
Uh, you just need to decide how many you want.
Like...
Hello.
Am I robotic?
No.
No, you're good.
But in a cool way, right?
No.
Oh.
Why are you so mean to me?
Why is everybody always picking all me?
I suppose five normal.
Okay.
Oh, are we doing load?
Yeah, we're just, uh, discussing load.
So you can pick whatever you want.
It's entirely up to you, Tiger.
Or to you, Chuckles.
That's Dr. Chuckles to you.
Dr. Chuckles.
I'll do normal.
Because I think I did light last time.
And, uh, it was not helpful.
Okay.
Also.
All right.
Uh, all right.
And then, uh, we're going to do an, an action roll.
Uh, so just trying to go through this.
Um.
Is Andy still here?
His video didn't show up for me.
Oh, I was frozen.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I'm here.
Sexy as always.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, so since, Chuckles, you're kind of the one leading the, uh, the mission here, you're starting it off.
Um.
You can kind of.
Squishes.
Yeah, sorry.
Squishes.
Uh.
Yeah, sorry.
I have you pulled up.
I don't know why I called.
Anyway, point is, uh, you, you're going to roll, um, for squish, uh, for your action roll to determine how well things, uh, go out to a start.
Uh, I'm going to say you guys definitely are in kind of a controlled situation.
Nobody's really onto you yet.
Uh, you aren't making any, you're not going in there guns blazing or anything.
You're just showing up with a ticket.
Um.
I think you guys are, you got a little bit of an extra help with that, uh, with the invitation.
Uh, so you can roll whatever action roll you'd like plus one, um, to kind of see how you guys start.
Hmm.
Well, then, can I do sway?
Yeah.
Okay.
Plus one.
Yeah, and it's going to be controlled.
Standard?
Mm-hmm.
I'm going to do a tune plus one.
I thought squish was the only one rolling.
Oh, I'm sorry.
No, you're right.
Uh, just to start it off.
No, no, you're right.
Uh, yeah, squish is starting to start off with a five.
Um, hold on.
That's good.
Yes.
Yeah.
Uh, that's good.
Uh, you hesitate slightly.
So as you're going to knock on the door, you look beside you and a turn swallow is there.
And he, he, he looks okay in the, uh, time between you guys left him, um, after taking the idol.
And now, which has been like a few hours, uh, he looks fine.
He looks clean.
Um, but you notice he does smell faintly still of whiskey and onion.
I know that.
Squish, what are you wearing?
Um.
Is it sexy?
That's a very good question.
I mean, because it is a party.
Yeah.
Uh, I put on my finest party attire.
I don't know.
What is that?
A t-shirt?
A tuxedo t-shirt?
It's just a t-shirt that says.
That just says tuxedo.
This is my fancy shirt.
That's what it says.
Hi.
As you, uh, walk down the street up to the, to the big manor house, all of the houses on the street are very big, very nice, very well lit.
This is the nicest part of town in terms of like living areas.
Um, there's lots of other people on the street with you.
Very fancy, well-to-do people.
Um, and as you come up to this big manor house, that's about three stories tall.
It's very wide.
It's got a lot of auntie buildings around the side of it.
Uh, it's got some gardens.
Um, the, uh, there's a guard standing at the door who, uh, you know, isn't like threatening or anything, but you do have to show him your invitation.
I reach under my hat and I pull out the invitation.
All right.
Uh, he'll look it over.
He'll turn your hat.
It's been, it's been switched with an onion.
He looks over your location.
He kind of looks at it and he goes, name?
Name?
Uh, Baz.
Baz.
Uh, last name?
Oh, shit.
What is his last name?
Turn Swallow.
It's Bazzo.
Bazzo?
Bazzo.
Baz Bazzo?
Yeah.
Baz Bazzo.
This one I'm not making up.
That's actually from the, from the manual.
Yeah.
Okay.
Bazel Exposition.
Bazzo.
And he, uh, he looks it over and, you know, kind of just shrugs and, and steps aside and then, uh, lets you walk in.
Um, so it's opening up into a great big manor hall in front of you, right in front of you, uh, where you're walking in is just kind of like the grand entrance.
It's a very long, um, well-lit, uh, hallway.
There's lots of people mingling about, um, there's a room off to the side.
You can tell that's like a ballroom.
There's people there.
Uh, there's, uh, a library on your other side.
It's just very loud, full of people.
There's a lot of waitstaff kind of bustling around with different drinks and different foods on trays.
Uh, there's a lot of, uh, this is very like high society.
Um, so very dignified people, women in dresses and pearls and jewels and men wearing suits and not hats because they're inside and they're not monsters.
Um, and, uh, as you walk in, uh, turns while kind of stumbles in behind you and he kind of like looks at the guard and is like, Oh, you didn't believe me.
I wouldn't either.
You smell like onions.
Oh, is it that bad?
I tried taking a bath.
An onion?
Well, no.
It's called soup.
An onion soup?
Uh, yeah.
Okay.
All right.
That's, uh, an interesting choice.
And then I slowly start to walk away.
Um, uh, as you're walking away, you see someone kind of wave their hand at you and said, hello, hello.
Let me introduce myself.
And he kind of grips your hand and like a politician and he shakes it.
He goes, my name's Lord Watt.
Uh, I'm glad you can make it old chum.
Glad to see you here.
And, um, your name is, I'm so sorry.
Remind me of this again.
Baz Bazzo.
Baz.
That's right.
Yes.
You expressed extra interest in the, uh, in the idol.
I remember that.
Um, Watt is kind of a middle-aged, very, very polite, like overly friendly, uh, high-class
noble.
Throw a picture of him in there for you.
Um, dressed to the nines.
He's very clean, very kind of, you know, just a very uppercut type of guy.
Uh, but he's overly friendly and he just kind of keeps smiling at you and is just acting like
you're another, uh, person that he clearly has no idea who you are.
Um, he's just having a giant party in his house.
Yeah.
I would, I'm really interested in that title.
Is there any way I can get a sneak preview?
Oh, well, we'll be holding, uh, in about an hour, uh, we'll be bringing the, uh, idol out.
You know, we have to have a little extra security for that, you know, um, just because of its
value.
Um, but in an hour, we'll be bringing it out.
It'll be on display in the great hall for an hour.
And then the auction will begin.
Um, I expecting, I'm expecting the price to go pretty high.
And, you know, of course we're all donate some of the proceeds to our friends at the
Ruby and sword, uh, Academy.
They were so nice to be able to get this piece for us.
And, you know, a lot of, a lot of people here tonight, a lot of upper crusts.
Uh, it's a good way to rub elbows.
If you know what I mean, uh, excuse me, I I've got another guest and he kind of runs off
in another direction.
I'm glad we sent, I'm glad we sent, uh, Sarn Turbo in.
Uh, I go up to the maid here.
To the maid?
Oh, I didn't realize I was going to do that.
Yeah, the maid.
And I want to, I just want to go up, stand next to her and go, hat sit.
Yes, sir.
Is there anything I can help you with?
Oh, your hat set.
I, I'm a friend of your father's friend.
I think that's what it was.
I'm not quite sure what you mean, sir.
Uh, do you need anything to drink?
And she kind of gives you a little, you know, has a little, uh, some drinks on display, a little
cocktail.
I take one.
I was trying to think of the word flute.
Uh, and she kind of starts to walk away.
No, no, no.
Hold on.
Well, I, I want to ask a favor of you really quickly as, uh, a friend of your father's
friend.
Uh, huh.
Um, and as you start to kind of talk to her, uh, behind you, uh, turn swallow comes up, takes
the tray of drinks and then just disappears.
He took the whole tray?
Yep.
He's gone.
Oh.
That man smelled of whiskey and onions.
Seems like he was quite.
Ask her if she smokes.
Do you, do you happen to know where I can go to have a smoke?
Uh, well, the gardens are just through there, sir.
And she points to the outdoors.
Um, and it's lovely this time of year.
Uh, if you need to leave yourself over there, if you need to have a smoke out there.
Um, I think that quite a few other, uh, of the, of the guests are out there as well.
No, I want to know where you go to smoke.
I don't really fit in with all these other people, if you can't tell by my fancy shirt.
Uh, she kind of questions you.
Um, I'm going to have you try to sway her into telling you, or however you want to play it,
but you're going to have to roll to convince her.
I think sway would be the good one.
All right.
Risky standard?
Yeah.
Um, well, we do have, uh, the, the servants.
We do smoke out back, but I would warn you, sir, there's a lot of activity going on right now.
Uh, you know, we're bringing things in from the kitchens and just a lot of activity.
So, um, you know, but if you just go, uh, out, out of this back door here and she points to another door,
um, there's a space over there that's, you know, you could smoke at.
Oh, okay.
Thank you.
I work in a kitchen, so I know how to get around people.
Oh, and she, and she kind of like looks at you a little bit because, uh, a well-dressed demon in a tuxedo shirt
just told her she worked, he works in a kitchen and, uh, she's just like.
So confused right now.
Uh, yeah, so.
I give her a wink as she walks away.
She's going to kind of walk, uh, back to the front of the building.
She's, or she's going to follow a turnswall and try to figure out if she can get her tray back.
Okay.
I walk out to the, the smoking area for the servants.
The patio.
Well, we didn't know where the patio was, right?
So you have to, you're going to have to single us somehow.
My captain is, chuckles.
What are you two doing?
Oh, we're hiding in a bush.
I'm hiding in a bush, drinking and smoking cigarettes.
Working on our backup plan.
Of smoking.
Stitching our coats together.
Our backup plan of drinking and smoking cigarettes in a bush.
Well, it's not really great for planning, but we're doing great for camaraderie.
Yeah, we're practicing smoking because, um, it's been a while for me.
It's been a while.
So you two are trying to do some stealth or are you just chilling out back there?
If by stealth, you mean hiding in the bush.
Yeah.
So, um, uh, why don't you, uh, throw some, uh, some stealth rolls and we'll see if you are
staying there unhidden.
Both of you.
Uh, which one was stealth?
Prowl.
It's, um, Prowl.
Oh, it's, oh, okay.
So Prowl.
Prowl.
Uh, so squish, uh, partial, oh, wait.
Good.
Captain was a failure.
Captain is a failure.
You're a partial success.
Uh, so, uh, you're in the bushes, but you're definitely, um, not that, uh, quiet.
And, uh, as you're sitting there smoking cigarettes and drinking whiskey, um, you're starting to
hear people around you kind of, you know, get closer and closer.
Uh, they haven't noticed you, but they're definitely not like you're going to be caught
soon.
Right.
Well, what are they going to do?
Squish.
Well, I, I bet we could smoke up over there somewhere.
If only we knew where it was.
Squish was supposed to be signaling us.
What is a signal?
Is that?
Hootie hoo.
What is that?
Is that a squish?
Trying to do a, trying to do a sound?
I think that's our sign.
Oh.
All right.
Where's it coming from?
The north.
All right.
Captain, why don't you throw a survey and see if you, uh, can determine where it's at?
I'm going to survey.
Oh yeah.
That's a good roll.
All right.
You hear squish coming, uh, from around the building.
You're not quite, uh, sure where it is, but you can definitely tell it in what general direction
you need to walk.
North.
All right.
We started heading north.
Uh, as you guys get closer and closer to the smoking patio, uh, you notice there's a lot
of, uh, people with, uh, you know, maids outfits, waiters outfits, a lot of black and white.
Um, they're all kind of bustling around you and they are kind of like looking at you kind
of side eyed because you are in there.
Like, you know, the employee only entrance.
Um, so they're definitely giving you a little bit of a side eye.
What are you looking at?
I'm an employee here.
Don't yell at them.
We don't want them to say, you're dressed as a pirate.
I'm the captain.
I'm in charge here.
Of what?
There's no boat.
Uh, every big major house has a captain.
All right.
That's not a thing.
You've been on the sea too long.
I've been somewhere so long.
I've been drunk for years.
Oh my God.
Do you gentlemen ever smoke a cigarette?
Have an eye patch?
No, we're supposed to, no, we got, we got to find.
Squish.
Uh, hello.
All right.
I, I, I walked by him.
Uh, I think I'm able to see squish.
I think.
Right.
Yeah.
You guys have gotten to squish, uh, without.
Oh, we got it over here.
Yeah.
You guys are.
All right.
You've met up.
We're here.
Squish.
So how's it going in there?
Uh, not good.
I, I winked at a girl.
She ignored me.
It was weird.
Did you pinch your butt?
No.
They like that.
Not yet.
But I think she was focused on someone stealing her tray.
Oh, good.
I'm sure that was not related to us at all.
It's not, not related to us.
What do you mean?
Not, not related to us.
That's a double negative.
That means it's, it is related to us.
Kind of.
Oh boy.
Well, Kensington is, uh, he's, he's back on the onion boys.
The onion?
No.
I mean, it's not really a problem if he could stop anytime he wants, which he probably can.
Everything's good in moderation.
It's not that, it's not that big of a deal.
Anyone want to nip?
But I did find out in an hour, the idol's going to be into the main ballroom.
Okay, great.
Do we have, do we have the forgery?
Yeah.
It's in my hat.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah.
Wait, I thought the invitation was in your hat.
It was.
How big is his hat?
Yeah, describe this hat.
It's a, it's still a chef hat.
You didn't say it was a chef hat.
You just, you're wearing a chef hat into the party.
It's a fancy.
It's a fancy chef hat.
It's a fancy shirt.
Does the hat say this is my fancy hat too?
What are you talking to, a cat?
I don't know.
I think he's, I think he's freaked out.
He's a ghost.
I don't think he has roommates.
No, I don't.
I was trying to figure out if that was fireworks or gunshots.
Does it matter?
Yes.
Yeah, but you're not going to do anything different.
If you want my opinion, I think the war on terror needs to start with America's haunted houses.
What?
I think it's just fireworks.
There's too many of them going off.
Yeah, it's fireworks.
Okay.
And they will be on display for, the idol will be on display for an hour.
Yes.
Are you asking me?
No.
No, I'm telling the...
Oh, okay.
Sorry, my screen just, it's frozen again.
All right.
So, we need to find a way to get to the idol, flip-flop the idol, before an hour is out.
Yes.
Okay.
Where is the idol?
I don't know.
Okay.
You are our inside man.
We've been out here pumping these guys for information, smoking cigarettes and drinking, and you're in there dawdling.
I just saw you pop out of a bush.
Yeah.
No, that was our hiding bush.
That's a good bush.
You're not pumping anybody for information.
And I looked down, and there's just like two pieces of small fabric stitched together.
What were you doing?
You're trying to make a trench coat?
I wasn't making anything.
No, that was plan B, just in case.
We were starting a trench coat.
We were going to stitch our coats together, and we were going to walk up and...
In.
Okay.
We never answered the question, what are you two wearing?
I'm wearing my frock coat, as always.
Yeah, he never changes.
As much as we ask, he will never, ever change.
It's my best looking clothing.
I'm casual, but I'm here to party.
And I'm not sure any of those things are true about a frock coat.
But, uh...
I am wearing my fancy clothes, because I, you know, thought that I should.
And it's different than my regular clothes in that it's made out of denim.
What?
Oh, a denim tuxedo!
Denim tuxedo.
Well, yes.
The Canadian tuxedo?
But also, yes.
Um, jeans.
That was possible in this world?
If I had known that was possible, I would have changed my whole character enough for this.
You still can't.
You don't know what frock is, do you?
Denim.
I...
My coat is made of 100% frock, or I think I know.
All right.
Yeah, but it's like a suit blazer and vest and tie made of denim.
But shirt is also denim.
It's...
It's very warm.
It's...
Yeah, yeah.
And if it rains...
I found a picture of a guy in a denim suit.
My antivirus just warned me the site is dangerous.
The site is extra sexy.
Don't click on this link.
I think we should go back in.
But I don't have to change, right?
Don't ever change.
Just a little, my friend.
No.
Okay.
I mean, that...
That saying is not going to work in this...
In this...
If denim is not going to work, then definitely...
That's a film pun?
What?
Huh?
No.
Okay.
I misunderstood then.
All right.
We are GM-less.
You know what that means?
Chaos.
Where'd she go?
Sorry.
Just threatened to die on me.
Go run and grab my charger.
Oh, I thought...
I thought maybe you were...
Shooting at Andy's house.
My fireworks have gone off.
They weren't ready.
Okay.
All right.
Hold on, guys.
Healing time.
We're healing?
Healing time.
Oh.
Junkles.
Okay.
What are you doing?
I'm just...
Hanging out.
Yeah.
So, you guys are in the party.
So, just to kind of give you an outline of the house.
I mean, obviously, you can see it.
But you're standing in the Great Hall.
Over to the left is a drawing room.
There's serving drinks over there.
There is a library in the lower...
Well, left-hand corner of the screen.
Up in the top right is the Great Hall.
That is where they're having the auction.
That's where all the pieces...
Sans Lion is out on display.
And then there's a ballroom where other people are gathering as well.
So, I guess what we were saying when we were describing how we were dressed...
We're trying to disguise ourselves as guests, I guess.
There's enough people here you'll probably fit in.
But you do definitely look weird.
A red frog coat always fits in.
Especially if you're, you know, in high society.
It's the eye patch.
They can't handle a disfigured man.
Hey, Captain.
Go try to find out from that...
That maid where they're keeping the idol.
You got it, dude.
And I'll take another shot of my whiskey because I am depressed.
He's become much more docile now that he's depressed.
I like it.
Or, Captain, why don't you call on a ghost to see if they can find it?
Ghost!
What?
That is not what I meant if I call a ghost.
I, I...
Well, if he doesn't get this ghost, it's going to be bad news for all of us.
Yeah, we're all going to...
I'm going to go hide in that corner like I typically do when...
That corner bush?
That corner bush.
Put the cigarettes on the floor.
All right.
What do you want me to do?
Ghost?
Or do you want me to go talk to a maid?
Yeah, I think...
I think you should pull out the ghost.
All right.
Or a ghost?
No, no, no.
Not Neelix.
Not yet.
Just try to see if there's a ghost anywhere in here that can tell us where the idol is right now.
Oh, you should attune.
Yes.
There's the word I was looking for.
I've learned.
I'm attuning.
All right.
What is my attunement?
Plus two?
So I...
So if I have two dots, that means two more dies, right?
Or just one?
No, it's just two die.
It'll just be two dies.
It should be in your character sheet in Foundry.
Okay.
So it should be already good.
So if you just go to actions and attune, or what is it?
Yeah, it should be attune.
Yeah.
So actions and attune, I think it should roll the right number of dice.
How much stress do you have?
Stress?
I have...
100.
Five.
Oh, that's kind of a lot.
I was close.
He's very impressed.
Oh, that's right.
He read too much.
I read too many books.
Okay.
So you attune to the spirit field, the ghost field.
And there are a few ghosts in the area.
There are at least...
There's one ghost.
That you can tell it's a ghost sort of servant that's just kind of wandering around.
He's offering people drinks, but nobody is taking them because obviously they can't see him.
You also feel two other spirits on this floor.
They are definitely darker spirits.
They are...
Can we say that?
What?
Can you say that?
Well, he can feel it.
The captain.
Oh.
They're not racial.
It's not racial.
It's like...
It's like demon spirits.
Oh, that's not good.
Yeah.
You feel two of them...
I think that says more about you than anyone else.
On this floor as well.
But you can't quite tell exactly where they're coming from.
You can just...
There's so many people around, but you can tell there's two demon spirits and then one just ghost spirit.
Okay.
So what do I do with this information?
I mean, you should tell...
I mean, squish asks.
Yeah.
You should tell him.
You should ask the spirit if they know where the idol's being held.
All right.
I can do that.
Do I command them or do I ask them?
What's the...
How does this work, Jim?
What do we do?
Just ask.
So you have a couple different, like, things you could command them, which is, like, telling...
Making them tell you.
You have one command, plus you have your glasses, which would give you plus two.
You also have consort, which is, like, if you were friendly with them and, like, trying to, you know...
Sway is more convincing, like, trying to manipulate.
So you tell me which one you'd like to do.
Romance them.
I'm going to romance some ghosts.
Okay.
Some sway.
You don't have any...
Just so you're aware.
You don't have many sway points.
In fact, you have zero.
So I would have to take the less of two die.
I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but I am telling you that is what I will do.
But I'm commanding them to fall in love with me.
Okay.
So...
I'm beginning to regret ever talking to you.
So you can roll command, and then you get plus one die for your...
That's not going to help us.
Oh, I'm going to the corner.
Yeah, I'm going to go to the corner again.
The ghost butler looks at you and...
Well, tell me how you would command him to fall in love with you.
Stand and deliver.
Come on.
I'm the captain.
Do you...
Drink, sir?
Whiskey?
Sour?
The ghost kind of disappears and flitters away into the drawing room.
I got nothing, fellas.
I don't know what's going on.
I swear I'm a fucking brilliant-ass pirate.
Ghost pirate.
I haven't seen you command ghosts too well.
You've tried nothing, and you're all out of ideas.
I don't know what's going on, fellas.
I mean...
I swear I...
I thought I had my ability.
I thought I had...
I thought I could do something.
Command them to fall in love with you?
I tried.
It didn't work.
Yeah.
All right, then.
Plan B.
All right.
I want to try to convince...
What was his name, Lord?
Mate?
Matt?
Watt?
Come on.
Just let me get a sneak preview of this, of the idol.
He's kind of like, you know, looks around, and he's like, you know, security.
You know, my insurance broker told me that would be a very, very poor idea to do anything quite
like that.
In fact, he said, watch out for people trying to convince you to do that sort of thing.
And rest assured, you have plenty of time to examine the piece prior to, you know, bidding
on it, which I hope you do.
It's a very expensive, very rare piece.
Yeah, that's why I want to say it beforehand.
You know, the ancient Aruvian said that the idol could tell you the secret, the answer to
any question that the idol could possibly know the answer to.
You said, ask it any question, and it will tell you the truth as far as it knows it, which
is a weird way of saying, you know, it tells you the truth.
What if I offered to buy it from you right now?
Oh, we possibly couldn't do that.
We have such a large gathering.
For example, over here, and he shows you to this blonde lady, young blonde woman.
She goes, this is Lady Ameria.
She's just come back from her studies abroad.
Why don't you, Lady Ameria, talk to this fine mental gentleman.
What was your name again, sir?
Baz Bazville.
Oh, Baz.
Yes, that's right.
And then he kind of wanders off again.
I don't know what to watch.
Again.
So there's Lady Ameria.
She's just a young noble woman, you know, dressed in very fine clothes, blonde hair, relatively
young.
Oh, Lord Amerian.
Did I hear you say that you tried to buy the idol off of Lord what?
I did.
You know, I tried the same thing earlier, and wouldn't you believe it?
He just said no.
What a pompous ass.
Indeed.
Do you ever know where it's stored?
Do you?
Well, I asked first.
I have no idea.
But if, uh, but if you did, you know, I would be, uh, most amenable to finding out.
All right.
Well, do you want to go try to find it together?
Uh, sure.
That sounds okay.
All right.
Where do you think we should, we should check first?
I'm not quite sure.
I thought you knew.
No.
All right.
This is a very odd game of cat and also cat.
Yeah.
Chuckles when captain, what are you guys doing?
Oh, I'm very depressed.
And I'm just like questioning, like, what is going on?
I'm supposed to be this great pirate.
Chuckles.
I don't know what's happening.
Listen, you're a great pirate.
You've always been a great pirate.
I mean, I don't know.
Probably.
I don't really know you that well.
However, your plan was bad.
Chuckles.
I don't remember what happened to me before a few weeks ago.
I think.
Yeah.
My memory.
The whiskey.
That's the whiskey.
I don't.
I think my memories are suspect.
Well.
Yeah.
I don't remember.
You've been.
You've been drinking a lot, bud.
It's better.
You want to cut back.
You're probably right.
But on the other hand.
I got this bottle to finish off.
Yeah.
That's not going to finish itself.
Well.
What if I'm a fraud?
I've tried not to think about it.
Good man.
Chuckles.
Let's go.
Yeah.
Just, you know, fake it till you make it.
But what did you see?
A bunch of ghosts.
In the ghost field.
There's a.
The one ghost I tried to fall in love with me.
That was the only one I really think we should be trying to talk to.
The other ones.
Why did you make them try to fall in love with you?
Is they.
Are they.
I don't know.
I just.
I don't know.
I was drunk at the time.
I thought it would make it.
It would be a convincing, like little.
Way of them.
Being a part of me without having to add them to my.
You know, I only have so many bottles here.
I'm not going to go like this guy.
Like.
Right.
You're just going to.
Presumably kiss them.
No.
I mean.
I would just.
Make them fall in love with me.
And then have them do stuff.
I mean.
Oh, my God.
You are a terrible person.
You are going to.
It's the.
You're going to make them fall in love with you.
Listen.
To do stuff for you.
With ghosts.
All right.
With ghosts.
I have this ability to command.
It should work.
Now, with real people.
That doesn't happen.
It's not as unethical with real people.
You know.
It's definitely.
You know.
All right.
I.
Think maybe we should.
Try and.
I mean.
We haven't found this maid.
Who may be able to help us.
What'd you say?
This maid.
We have a maid.
Her name.
Is Maid Hatset.
And we should find her.
And.
Maybe not.
Try to make her fall in love with us.
And instead.
Just be nice.
Smoker with some ghosts.
I like this.
No.
Let's do it.
Smoker with some ghosts.
Let's just.
Let's talk to her first.
And see what happens.
Before we try to manipulate her.
All right.
What happened to Bridget?
Bridget who?
She's all pissed off.
Oh.
We done pissed her off.
Oh.
The gif isn't working.
Yeah.
Mine wasn't working either.
The what?
The.
What what?
The gif.
It's pronounced Jeff with a J.
I don't care.
Okay.
Well.
Thank you.
We're trying to locate.
Madam.
Hatset.
She is in the.
In the drawing room.
With the.
With the candlestick.
Okay.
But.
We can see her.
Yeah.
You can see her.
She's real.
She's not a ghost.
Well.
I didn't know if she was in there.
But.
We couldn't find her.
But.
All right.
She never will.
So.
Um.
Let's.
Because of the command.
I'm going to saddle up.
Next to her.
Okay.
And be like.
Hello.
I am.
Friends of Baz.
Oh.
Baz.
Bazler.
Yes.
I know.
Baz.
Is.
Um.
Is everything okay?
I mean.
He said he wouldn't need anything from me tonight.
Just to keep an eye on this guy.
And she points to.
Uh.
That.
Turn swallow.
Who is now.
Sprawled out on one of the chairs.
Uh.
Just kind of like.
We're doing well.
It looks like he's.
He's taking care of himself.
So now you can take care of me.
Excuse me sir?
Oh.
No.
Forgive me for being so.
Forward.
Uh.
The.
No.
We're.
Did.
Uh.
This auction.
The materials.
For the auction.
Do we know.
Where those are?
You don't know where those are?
Did we ask you already?
Uh.
Well.
You said you're a friend of Baz?
Yeah.
He's my uncle.
And.
Employer.
He's.
Your uncle.
Did you say a lawyer?
No.
And employer.
Oh.
Uh.
Well.
Uh.
I don't know exactly where it is.
I.
I know I haven't seen it anywhere here on the.
On the ground floor.
Uh.
There's an upstairs that we're really not supposed to go to.
And.
There's a basement through the library.
Um.
But I haven't seen it anywhere.
Here.
On the ground floor.
And I've.
Pretty much been in every room.
Okay.
Thank you.
And.
Is there any.
Are you.
You're serving.
Hordes.
Or just drinks.
Uh.
She has drinks.
But there are other people with hors d'oeuvres.
Is.
Do.
Is anybody serving.
You know.
Fancy feasts.
Fancy.
You know.
Fancy feasts.
You gotta break out the book for this one.
Right.
Like.
Um.
You know.
Break me off a piece of that.
Fancy feasts.
Uh.
Well.
I'm not quite sure what everyone else is serving.
But.
Um.
Have you checked in the library?
There might be.
Uh.
Someone serving hors d'oeuvres in there.
Oh.
Thank you.
Uh.
No.
You've been a great help.
I will talk to you later.
Hey.
Captain.
Yes.
All right.
You're a man of libraries.
Yes.
All right.
Go in the library.
And.
Uh.
Do stuff in there.
And maybe go downstairs.
We found out.
That they're not keeping the artifacts.
On this floor.
Through the library.
There's a downstairs.
Are you telling me this too?
Uh.
Squish.
You're probably listening.
Okay.
I mean.
I.
You guys.
You guys were hanging out.
Right.
Or.
You were near each other.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm.
Mainly telling.
Captain.
Because he loves.
Fucking books.
I mean.
Not.
He like.
He likes books.
All right.
Uh.
All right.
Uh.
You guys are going to go to the library.
Are you going to take Lady of Marriott with you?
Are you going to ditch her?
Hold on.
I'm not going to the library.
Hold on.
My.
My plan is that Lady of Marriott doesn't know that I know those two.
Oh.
So you're.
So you guys are still like chatting.
Yeah.
So.
You can hear us.
We're.
We're with an earshot.
You're eavesdropping on our conversation.
Yeah.
So I look at her and go.
Did you hear that?
We know that they're not on the ground floor.
Why would they keep such a precious piece of history in a library?
In a dark and dingy library?
I don't.
Hold on.
They didn't say it was in the library.
They said it was.
There were stairs going down.
Yeah.
Where's that going to go?
To a basement?
I mean.
Why would they store something that prized and that valuable in a basement?
Like.
It's your mom.
There's only one way in and one way out.
I.
I don't think so.
I don't think it's in the basement.
I really.
It's worth getting rid of the captain for a little while.
He is being very drunk.
And speaking of the third person.
Hello.
That's not the third person.
I am the third person in this group.
Yeah.
You're a real third wheel.
Boom.
He's pissed.
All right.
So can I.
Can I overhear your conversation?
Are we eavesdropping on each other's conversations?
So the captain is still talking to me.
Talking about how sad and drunk he is.
And I'm not listening to him.
I'm listening to your conversation.
And you're not listening to her talk to you.
You're listening to me.
Trying to get the captain to go into the library.
But I really.
I really.
I would.
I want to persuade her to.
To trust me.
And go downstairs in the library.
Yeah.
So.
Throw your sway.
And see how you persuade her.
I'm going to push myself too.
So I get an extra one.
And that's too stressed?
Yes.
Okay.
If we.
If we have to go down there.
If that's what you think is absolutely best.
Then I'll go down there.
But.
I'm telling you.
I don't think it's down there.
I don't think there's anything down there worth saying.
All right.
Let's put a side bet on it.
A side bet?
I don't bet, sir.
A lady doesn't bet.
No.
Not with money.
With sex.
If it's down there.
I get to take you for dinner.
If it's not.
You'll never see me again.
Guys.
We're not here for love.
Take your bet.
It's not in the basement.
Is that her speaking?
Or you speaking?
Is that a roll?
I'm never speaking.
All right.
You take the bet then.
All right.
So who's y'all going down to the basement?
Hey.
If you win this bet.
You're going to have it made.
She's not a maid.
Oh.
Who are we talking to again?
You go to the library.
I look at Hatsons.
I was told I need to go to a library.
All right.
Yeah.
I go to the library with what's her face following me.
Mary is going to the library.
Captain is going to the library.
Captain, are you going?
To the library.
Chuckles.
I am just flabbergasted.
I have no idea what's going on.
I am.
So everybody's in the library or near the library.
I feel like.
I feel like perhaps.
Something somewhere is trying to tell us that.
What we're looking for is.
Neither in the library nor underneath the library.
And.
I'm going to.
Keep an eye on what they're doing.
But eventually I want to angle my way upstairs.
There is a.
There is a stairwell.
So you can go upstairs.
It is kind of like for.
You know.
Not for anyone other than the family.
But you can get up there.
It's where.
Do you see where Watt's standing?
That's where the stairwell is.
Oh, that's.
That's the one upstairs.
Okay.
I was going to the other one.
Yeah.
Although.
Although Watt is presumably looking at it.
Can I sneak past him upstairs?
Do you want to try prowling past him?
Yeah.
Okay.
Very.
Very creepy.
Like.
I am failing.
Uh.
Watt sees you.
And he kind of claps you on your shoulder.
And he's like.
Uh.
You don't need to go up there.
This is family only.
You know.
Privacy.
Uh.
And he kind of like directs you.
In a big spin.
Back to the.
To the main.
Uh.
Hallway.
I am family.
Big swing.
Kind of narrows his eyes.
And he's like.
I don't know you.
But also.
You can tell.
He doesn't really want to offend you either.
Uh.
Because he is an ass kisser.
Like.
I.
From my mother's side.
I.
I don't.
I don't quite know you sir.
Yeah.
I'm your uncle.
On your.
I have quite a.
Father's side.
Fancy.
Family.
I.
I don't quite believe.
Uh.
I know.
And we are very fancy.
We are.
Our blood is very blue.
And I'm actually a count.
So.
Uh.
By marriage.
But.
Uh.
Yeah.
So.
You know.
It.
It would behoove you.
That I was in your family.
Uh.
Well.
He's not going to believe you at the moment.
Unless you're going to try to like.
Okay.
Like.
Manipulate him.
Or you know.
Try to sway him or something.
No.
I'm going to.
Try to big time him.
And just blow him off.
And just like.
Ugh.
These people.
And.
Give some.
Give some time for the.
The library.
Fiasco.
To.
I'm sure.
All right.
Well.
Uh.
Squish.
Uh.
Lady Amelia.
And.
Uh.
Captain.
Are all in the library.
There is someone else in the library too.
This handsome.
Uh.
Gentleman.
Uh.
His name is Harville Brogan.
Uh.
Captain.
You recognize him.
He is the.
Uh.
From the other library.
Or the bookstore.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's him.
I told him.
I'm going to.
He saw.
He saw you read your brains out earlier.
And I got overindulged.
And I got really strained.
Boy.
I.
So strained.
Oh.
Captain.
I.
Uh.
Fancy seeing you here.
Uh.
Sir.
How are you?
I'm doing quite well.
Uh.
I take it you're here for the auction.
I didn't take you for an Aruvian.
Uh.
Kind of.
You know.
Connoisseur.
Oh.
You know.
I like to dabble my hands in several things.
You know.
I.
Mostly.
Have you checked out this library?
It's quite stupendous.
Oh.
Yes.
You know.
Nothing quite like what we have at the Centurion.
But you know.
Quite.
Quite an extensive collection.
Uh.
Mr.
Watt has done his due diligence trying to.
Uh.
Well.
You know.
Trying to appear fancy and whatnot.
Not many books about yours truly here.
But I'm sure.
He'll add to it as.
As.
Uh.
The way to write more books about.
The great ghost pirate.
Uh.
In the library.
There's lots of shelves.
Uh.
Everywhere.
Obviously filled with books.
There's shelves on the walls.
There's like stacks of shelving down the hallway.
Uh.
There is one guard.
He is standing in front of.
Uh.
A doorway.
Um.
That.
Just.
Obviously doesn't leave back to the house.
It's probably the doorway to the basement.
Okay.
Uh.
I want to do a flashback.
Okay.
All right.
So when we were sitting outside of.
Tin Swallow's.
Store.
Uh.
He was making the line.
I want to.
Tell Captain.
And.
And Junkles.
Like.
If you hear me make this certain sound.
Hoot.
A hoot.
No.
That's.
That's a different sound.
Hooty hoo.
Is the.
Come here sound.
Hooty hoo.
The hooty ha.
Hooty hoo.
Hooty ha.
Is.
Make a distraction.
All right.
And if that includes.
Knocking over.
Uh.
Server.
Or.
Knocking over.
A bookshelf.
Or.
Sword fighting a guard.
Or.
Pretending you're so drunk.
That you need help.
Well.
It probably won't be pretending.
But.
How about this?
For one of you.
I'll knock into a server.
Into a bookshelf.
And scream.
I need help.
Okay.
That would work.
Whatever.
You just.
A distraction.
Yes.
Just.
Cause a distraction.
Well.
I'm not in the room.
No.
This was.
Yeah.
You can't cause a distraction.
And.
Turing.
But.
So.
Are you going to give me a signal.
Or.
Is this just now.
Yeah.
It's where I go.
Hooty ha.
So.
Is it right now?
Well.
We're still in the flashback.
Right now.
Oh.
Okay.
So.
Fast forward to.
And I said.
Wait.
Huh?
Are we still in the flashback?
Yeah.
Right now.
Can I.
Can I make a comment?
Yes.
What is haoty ha?
It's the signal.
To cause a distraction.
I know.
But it's obvious.
Like.
Is that.
Like a bird.
Does a bird make a haoty ha noise?
Or like.
It's not very surreptitious.
Then what would you pick?
Oh.
I don't know.
We should pick something like.
Whip.
No.
Like a loud farting noise.
Oh.
Okay.
Yeah.
Let's do that.
All right.
Yeah.
Because that.
It has to smoke onions.
No.
I mean.
I would prefer.
Can you do that?
Okay.
We'll make it a loud farting noise.
All right.
Sorry.
So I'm busily.
Being drunk.
But also.
Amazingly.
Holding myself well.
In front of this.
Fellow.
I supposedly met.
In another library.
I don't really remember.
Both in real life.
And in the game.
Oh.
But he sounds very interested in me.
So I'm very intrigued in him.
Okay.
All right.
So flash forward to back in the library.
I pull.
Lady Amelia.
Over to the side.
And I just go.
I used to be able to do that.
I just make a giant fart noise.
And I pass out.
On top of.
A server.
And fling us.
Into a bookshelf.
Let me.
How about you throw your rack.
And we'll see how well you rack this thing.
Throw my rack.
Hey.
Lady Amelia.
Pull my finger.
Partial.
Tell me how you.
How you do it.
You're just going to fall.
Into a person.
And you knock into the bookshelf.
Yeah.
I try to fall.
Into a maid.
Or a server.
But they're like.
And they push me off.
And I just kind of fall back.
Into a bookshelf.
You fall back.
Into the bookshelf.
So the success.
Is the bookshelf.
The failure.
Is the maid.
Got away.
I'm going to say.
The failure.
Is that you're going to hurt yourself.
What?
In a slight way.
When you fell.
Yeah.
The Oxford English Dictionary.
Falls in your nuts.
Take.
One.
Take.
Two stress.
One.
For falling.
And one.
For seeing all the books.
Go to the floor.
All right.
Two stress.
So I have seven stress.
Yeah.
How many stress do you have?
Five from the last one.
So I'm just making sure.
We're in the same page.
So seven total.
You should.
You should only.
Brandon.
You only have three.
It said I had five from last game.
Because I overindulged.
Oh.
We may not have added it.
I don't know.
Okay.
There you go.
You're all up to date now.
And I'm on a floor.
And I'm.
Conveniently.
I'm very convincingly.
Passed out.
Like so convincingly.
That you're going to leave me alone.
Because I'm snoring.
I go up to the guard.
Go.
Man.
That guy just fell.
He needs help.
The guard.
He goes.
To help.
Captain.
Raven.
What is his name?
I can't.
I'm so good at coming up with names.
I can't remember.
Harville.
Brogan.
Ben's over.
And he's helping you too.
Captain.
He's.
You know.
Trying to be of an assistance.
The door is free now.
Oh.
Yeah.
I open that door.
Me and.
Me and Lady Amelia go in.
All right.
Chuckles.
You want to do anything last minute.
Before we close out.
Yeah.
I'm making fart noises.
Frantically.
Hoping that someone will distract.
Lord Mott.
Or Lord Watt.
Watt is a little.
Watt is a little put off.
By your gaseous nature.
And takes a moment.
To step into the other room.
To avoid the oncoming.
Smell storm.
All right.
And thus opening up.
An opportunity.
To.
Settle up the stairs.
Yep.
So you're going up the stairs.
All right.
So.
Just to recap.
Captain's down.
Squish is going downstairs.
And Chuck will.
Gasly makes his way upstairs.
No.
That was not real gas.
Oh.
Okay.
Well.
Watt thinks it is.
And now everyone in the party.
Is going to know you're poopy pants.
I'm not a poopy pants.
But I.
I have to believe it's real.
Otherwise it doesn't work.
Yeah.
That's how I felt.
I'm.
You could say.
I'm genuinely passed out.
On these books.
You could.
I.
I can see you down there.
Captain.
Just like.
Picking one up.
Occasionally.
And pretending to be passed out.
And like.
Thumbing through it.
Like.
Okay.
That's exactly.
One eye open.
Poops at the party.
Why.
Why would you be a party pooper?
You should poops at the party.
All right.
Well.
Everyone have a.
Have a good night.
And don't poop your pants.
Thank you.