Music.
Really ominous.
You missed that, didn't you?
Yeah, it must mean someone's dead.
Good.
I really should have faded that out instead of just cutting it.
Well, welcome back, everyone.
What's everyone doing?
Good.
I hate vodka.
That's all we have in the house.
I drank all the cooking sherry,
and now I'm down to the vodka.
I mean, cooking sherry's pretty good, bro.
Is it?
No.
I didn't think so.
So we got a boat.
I'm pretty happy about that.
Yeah.
Here's the garbage.
I'm very proud of our junk boat.
Am I supposed to read this before the session?
Is it okay if I just read it during the session?
You can just read it now.
Here, I'll read it.
Sewer Sentinel.
That's the garbage that stinks.
New fort, same junk.
The crew decided to move the junk fort and stole a garbage barge to do so.
The new junk barge floats down the sewers, safe from Baz's eyes.
Chuckles hit the books and upgraded his healing abilities.
He's met with Skyluck and told him of his progress and promised to come back for his college fun.
The captain spent some time in the bookstore and managed to learn a fireball spell.
Classic.
He also decided to learn how to upgrade the junk fort so they could properly steal the vessel.
Chuckles gave him a hand as well as assisted Squish in upgrading his rifle.
Squish had some lady trouble at the Golden Plum.
While impressing Chef Rozel with his slug boo-boom sauce dish, he made the mistake of attempting to steal a cigar.
Rozel tossed him out where he then met Lady Amoria.
He harassed the young woman while she tried to eat her sandwich.
Now is a time of new beginnings and maybe new endings.
Like a steerless garbage draft drifting through the sewers, the gang is drifting through life, ignorant of what's around the bend.
Oh yeah, I forgot the part where you tried to steal a cigar.
Yeah, I forgot about that until I read it.
Yeah, what was up with that?
I tried to get it for Didi to get rid of some of her stress.
To be fair, you did take it.
I did take it.
You still took it.
Oh.
Did I give it to Didi to relieve her stress?
I think you did at the very end.
You just tossed it to her.
Okay.
Did that work?
Is her eight now stress-free?
I mean, what else you got else to stress about?
Where her next meal's coming from?
Maybe.
Next nicotine's coming from.
She didn't get slapped.
That monkey's got a smoking problem.
I mean, I think this is the part where we would just go to Baz and say, hey, what do you want us to do next?
I feel like maybe we shouldn't do that.
I don't think so.
No.
Oh, I vaguely remember.
Now I wish I would have listened to the episode.
I vaguely remember arguing about whether or not we should just go to Baz's and blow him up or something.
Yeah, I don't remember what our plan was.
I think it was, Bridget, do you remember the plan?
Please, Bridget.
Your plan, you kind of went back and forth on how you wanted to deal with Baz.
You did at one point think about finding someone to befriend and then giving them to police, the police to lower your heat levels.
I remember that.
Oh, yes.
Yeah, and then you guys are going to throw me in jail.
Yeah, and then it was going to be Bugsby for a while.
But we'd have to catch that rascal.
Yeah.
He's too swift.
Yeah, well, he'll get his.
Maybe.
And then I know we talked about this.
I got this far in re-listening.
The little fat kid, Pritchard.
Well, you go talk to him.
Is that weird?
You could.
He is at the Red Stashes if you'd like to talk to him.
I mean, I just feel like they're kind of.
Well, I guess basically just it's not really that big of a mystery.
Baz is just trying to wipe out the Red Stashes.
And frame them for this.
So we need to team up with the Red Stashes.
Are you asking me?
I can't see you.
So I'm just.
I mean, I'm just kind of making a general question.
Trying to, you know, brainstorm, brain freeze.
That's not a bad option.
You know, talk to him.
I mean, I don't know.
I don't know who's the good guy.
I mean, because Baz is basically trying to frame the Red Stashes.
But maybe the Red Stashes are a bunch of assholes.
I don't really know.
Well, he's also trying to frame Puz.
But the enemy of my enemy is my friend.
My friend.
And right now we have a junk barge that's pretty good for hiding.
But we got to do something here.
What about your friend Lady Amoria?
Doesn't she have any jobs or something we could do?
Yeah, I think you done pissed her off.
Who's friend?
Your friend.
She's not my friend.
Well, not anymore.
Yeah.
You did eat her lunch.
No, I didn't.
I tried to give her an opportunity.
That wasn't much of an opportunity.
Still an opportunity.
In as much as a threat is an opportunity.
An opportunity not to get her ass kicked, I guess.
While you guys are around the junk forts going down the sewers are talking about this,
you hear a voice calling from one of the shores.
What do you mean opportunity to get my ass kicked?
Oh, what?
Oh.
Oh, Lady Amoria?
You look out the window, and yes, there's Lady Amoria in the gutters wearing her finest clothing.
Well, hello!
Nurse!
I'm like hanging off.
I'm doing the...
Can you slow it down?
Can I get a board?
Or am I just going to watch you guys just drift on by?
Well, we don't just let anyone on here.
Oh, get on here!
You want to be a part of our crew?
I had to put on my good hat.
Sorry, ma'am.
I like to think that you all just scramble back inside, get yourself all refreshed, you know,
wearing your clean hats.
Brush on our teeth a little bit.
What not?
Yeah.
Well, throw me a rope or something or lower the gangplank.
What do you guys do?
How do I get on this thing?
Nobody knows.
Right now.
You just got to jump.
You got to trust.
I toss, like, a garbage can lid, like, out like it's, like, sort of, like, supposed to be like a donut.
Like a dinghy?
Did you ever think to, did you ever stop to think whether or not a garbage can lid would float?
I thought it would.
Circular things are known to float.
Roll for physics.
Yeah, roll for, let's just roll and see if it floats.
All right, for what, physics?
One, one D.
One, what?
Just one die?
Yeah, just roll one die.
All right.
Partial success.
She's able to, the garbage lid doesn't sink all the way.
It kind of floats up on top, and Lady Amoria kind of picks up her skirts, backs up across the edge, gives it a running jump, jumps, hits the garbage lid, sinks a little bit, you know, gets some sewer water on her foot,
but does manage to clear the gap and lands on the garbage barge, or junk barge.
What are we calling?
What are we calling it?
The junk barge?
I guess the junk barge.
The junk, uh, the, uh, the junk boat?
The garbage barges?
The junk boat.
The garbage barge.
The gar barge.
Garbage.
The gar barge.
Garbage.
But she kind of kicks her foot and is just like looking at her leg
and kind of disgusted and then looks all at you.
Let me get that for you.
And I start rubbing my sleeve on her legs to dry off her ankles.
There you go.
Good as new, ma'am.
Welcome aboard.
I'm glad to see you guys have a seafaring vessel.
It's a real upgrade for you.
Yeah.
Ignore the garbage.
It's garbage.
Also, hold your nose.
It doesn't smell good here.
Watch the hole in the floor.
And don't touch my tractor.
And you're going to want to stay away from Dee Dee's corner.
He's very territorial.
Yeah.
She kind of like looks and kind of like, you know, when you're in a China shop
and you're like, I shouldn't touch anything.
She just kind of stands there.
Very tense.
Okay.
Well, I didn't know if you guys could be of assistance.
I heard a rumor that you are looking for work.
I know after we last talked to Squish, we didn't really leave things on good terms.
But I thought maybe you guys could lend me a hand on something.
Well, we're not really in the middle of anything right now.
Are we, gents?
Oh, yeah.
Don't worry.
We gave Squish a talking to about how he needs to be nicer to people.
He will not eat your sandwich.
Not again.
It didn't really work.
Bye.
I will eat your sandwich.
Will you just shut up while she's here?
Just pretend like you're being nice for a little while.
That was being nice and flirty.
Oh.
Okay.
It's not impressed.
Now there's nothing to say.
I am glad you guys have a boat.
You might need it for this.
Have you guys ever heard of the Magu Fin?
The what?
The Magu Fin.
Legendary.
Of course you haven't.
Uncultured swines.
It's a necklace.
Hey, hold on, hold on.
Hold on.
Paul.
What is this thing she's talking about?
It's a swine is a type of pig.
No, I was asking Paul.
Oh, Paul?
The Magu Fin?
The Magu Fin.
Paul, do you know anything about the Magu Fin?
I lift my shoulder up.
And Lady Amoria kind of glares at the statue.
Paul says, I have heard of it.
It's a necklace.
Hey, I think that's the first time we've gotten a solid answer on this guy, right, guys?
I turned to Lady Amoria and go, yes, it's a necklace.
And you wanted to sell the cat.
And what he just did?
He just, that was probably a 15,000 coin answer.
I don't think she was.
Necklaces had names?
She was going to tell us.
Yeah, I mean, the whole point of this movie of Titanic was that they were looking for a necklace.
I thought that was the diamond.
Was it the Hope Diamond?
But that was the diamond.
It was not the Hope Diamond.
No, it's the heart of the sea.
No, it's the heart of the ocean.
You're right.
Oh, I thought...
I don't know about the chicken in the ocean.
She threw it in the ocean at the end.
But yeah, the necklaces can't have names.
It's a famous artifact.
It's supposed to be incredibly powerful, blah, blah, blah.
I know you guys aren't interested in that.
The more important part of it is that this was captured or rather caught in a treasure chest recently.
There was a fishing expedition that went out to the Void Sea.
They came back.
They started bragging about capturing this treasure chest and this treasure map and the Magu fin.
And I would like it back.
So you guys, steal a necklace.
It was yours?
Well, I...
No, it's not mine, but it doesn't...
It should...
Some collector is going to come along and they're going to buy it and they're going to display it every couple of weeks, you know, and wear it.
But it's a historical piece.
It has a history to it.
It has an artifact.
I just...
I can't stomach the idea of it being bought and sold like that.
So I thought I'd ask you guys if this is something you can do.
If you can't, don't worry.
I'm sure there's someone else who would love to have a treasure chest.
Sitting around.
Wait, are you going to try to blow this place up too?
I'm not going to come along on this mission.
I'm not going to go anywhere near it.
The heat's too hot for me.
That's why I'm asking you.
My colleagues, you know, we all obviously heard about what you did.
And, I mean, they're not excited that I lost the lion, but they're giving me another opportunity.
And you guys kind of owe me one, right?
Like, you owe me...
Like, it's a good deal.
You guys get treasure chest.
I get a necklace.
You know.
It has a map.
Treasure map.
You guys look like you are the pirate type.
And she points over to Captain.
Are we talking about booty?
Booty?
A booty with a B.
Yes.
Well, yes.
Oh, boy.
Oof.
This is awkward.
I say we take it, Lance.
We can always use the extra money right now, especially with the heat on us.
And maybe we won't...
Maybe this is an opportunity not to blow something up.
Unless that's what you guys want.
I mean, we can also make it an opportunity to blow several things up.
I mean...
I feel like I should blow something up.
And for every explosion you commit, Chuckles, is one less nut blast.
Or something like that.
I feel like that's...
Like giving up weed for heroin.
But Uncle Scalic didn't say I had to stop blowing things up.
Did he?
I don't know.
I wasn't really listening.
You're just thinking about all the things you can blow up with that money.
Oh, yeah.
The college fund?
Yeah.
We're going to get that somehow.
Maybe we...
Hey, how about this for an alternate...
An alternate mission?
Let's rob Scalic for my college fund.
Let's circle back to that one.
Right.
He's really old.
I'm sure we could kill him with a stiff breeze.
Prism did him no favors.
No, no.
He did not do any push-ups or pull-ups.
He just sat there and waited for us to break him out.
Cried.
Cried a lot.
Did some squats.
Yeah.
You know, I guess.
I don't know much about...
So, wait.
Do we actually have to go on the Cs?
No, I don't know.
That's kind of the problem.
That's also the reason I came to you.
I don't know where the treasure is.
Actually, nobody really knows.
The crew that caught it have been bragging about it.
Bragging that they found it.
But other than that, I don't have anything.
I can tell you the crew.
Yeah.
I mean, because this junk barge, I mean, it barely floats.
We're good here in the sewer.
I don't know about waves.
Oh, well, once we get our navigation system, I'm sure this thing will be much more seaworthy.
Ain't that right, Juggles?
He's our best technician.
We got our best guy on the job.
You're already talking to me.
Yeah.
Then he said, ain't that right, Juggles, when you were talking to me.
Ain't that right?
All right.
Well, it couldn't hurt, I suppose.
No.
Who is the crew that we got to blow up?
I mean, that punch.
I mean, tricking to giving us their stuff.
It's called the Dawn's Hammer.
Oh, that sounds scary.
That sounds familiar.
Yeah, I don't know why I even take notes.
The ship, it's called, well, the ship is called the Dawn's Hammer Reforged.
Apparently, the first one blew up and sunk in the harbor.
Right.
Now I know why it sounds familiar.
Oh, I just forgot.
Never heard of it.
Anyway, a couple of the crew said that they went on this fishing expedition, that they
go for Leviathan caviar, and they ended up catching or finding at the bottom of the sea a treasure
chest.
And now the crew is saying that they found the Magu fin, and they're spending money like it's
not coming back.
And I don't really care about the money.
That's not so important to me.
But the rest of whatever's in there, the Magu fin, I definitely would like that back.
Let's get it, lads.
All right.
I guess you got yourself a deal.
Oh, there's no deal.
If you guys mess this up and get blown up or get in the police, you can leave my name out
of it.
I mean, give me the necklace, and we'll call it nice.
I don't think I will.
Yeah, you're paying for the necklace, right?
Well, that or I could just put back the ghost that I kind of just released onto your boat.
What?
Yeah.
You know how, like at Watts Place, I had a ghost in the basement that would blow things
up.
I thought, well, I'm not using him.
I mean, he blew up, but, you know, it's a ghost.
So I was like, well, wouldn't it be funny if I went to the boat of the people who blew
that up and just set him off?
Wait, the people that blew what up?
The house?
Yeah.
That was you.
That was the ghost.
That you controlled.
So we didn't look at it.
Yeah, but things didn't really go according to plan.
Now you're extorting us.
Yeah, kind of.
So either we get this necklace or you blow up our new house.
I mean, she looks around.
Don't think it'll do much, do you?
No, it's already garbage.
I mean, I'm sure we could build another one out of, you know, garbage.
It already looks like it's been built out of wreckage once.
Got to be honest.
Hey, we stole this large fair and square.
No, it was given to us and then we moved it.
So, you know, we earned it.
Bass gave it to us and he was going to burn it down.
Then we moved it in the sewer.
Oh, no, I'm talking about the boat itself.
The boat.
I don't know where that came from.
We just saw it.
We were moving the junk fort and we saw it and just tossed it on there and just shoved off.
I mean, I think it's pretty explanatory.
All right.
Mystery solved.
What's the next one?
Oh, wait.
How do we not get blown up?
So you blew up that house with a ghost?
Yeah, there is a bomb.
There's a demon.
Well, ghost in the basement and he's attached to a bomb.
His name is Kaboom.
And he was supposed to wait for my word and then blow up the house.
Well, things got a little hectic.
And, you know, I lost Paul or your little, you know, statue there.
And things got a little out of hand.
The house blew up.
I escaped.
The ghost escaped.
Got him back in his bottle.
Not doing anything with him.
And I thought, well, what would be a good way to save face?
And the Magu Finn shows up.
And I think, who do I know who would prefer, you know, who could go get that for me?
And I thought of you.
And I thought, maybe just to sweeten the deal, I'll release the bomb ghost down here in case you guys got a little sassy with me.
Us get sassy?
No.
Maybe eat your lunch.
Probably.
I will eat your sandwich.
One day, I will eat your lunch.
Then my vengeance will be complete.
I guess we have to do it.
I mean, we love adventure and hate getting blown up.
We wish there was some money involved.
But...
Yeah.
Now, there is, like I said, you guys can take the rest of the treasure chest.
Whatever's left, yours to keep.
You just want the necklace.
And the necklace is in the treasure chest.
Yes.
Yep.
You got it.
Next question.
Any possibility inside this treasure chest, there are onions or perhaps exotic foods?
Don't know about that one.
Likelihood, though.
If you had to put a percentage on it.
90%?
95?
Considering that this is supposed to have just been sitting at the bottom of the void sea for decades, maybe longer,
I'm going to say the option is probably, like, less than 30, that there are onions in this.
Hey, 30%, buddy.
30 is pretty good.
You might begin your onions.
Get in your onions.
There's literally nowhere else we can get them.
So...
Bottom of the sea.
Bottomest of the...
Bottomest of the ocean.
Bottomest.
A little bottomest.
It's a technical term.
It's Latin.
All right.
I'm in.
Let's do it.
Where are these going?
Let's do it.
Now, where are we going?
Now...
We'll set sail.
We've been drifting for about an hour now, aimlessly.
We've all...
Somebody should probably go, you know...
I don't know why we put the steering wheel in here, and, like, I can't really see what's going on out there.
Right.
It also doesn't steer anything.
No, not yet.
It's more like a place where people come to get their picture taken.
Well, don't tell her that.
But also, offer her to have...
Ask her if she wants her picture taken.
For money.
Me?
Do I want my picture taken?
Yeah, at the wheel of the garbarge.
Yes.
You want to pretend like you're steering the garbarge.
Yes.
I do want my picture taken.
Well, it's going to cost you.
Oh.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I want it.
15,000 points.
A little peck on the cheek.
You want a kiss, and I get a picture.
Yeah.
Just a little one.
Just on the cheek over here, please.
The what?
All right.
Let's see if you convince her.
Try to swear.
Oh, great.
I have no people skills.
Well, why don't you swear to the monkey world tinker?
Can I tinker her?
No.
You tinker her?
I barely know her.
Can't do that on a first kiss.
Failure.
You know what?
On second thought, I think Brad just...
You end up in a very desperate position.
Yeah.
Honestly, I'm not interested, and I'm a little Paul that you'd ask.
You know what?
Me neither.
Hey, I got a little Paul here.
I got you.
Now get out of here.
Let us get on our adventure.
Can we just throw her...
Can we toss her off on a bag of garbage?
Can we throw her back on that sinking garbage can lid?
Just leave her adrift.
Yep.
And wave.
See you later.
Like Forrest Gump?
Yeah, like Forrest Gump.
Alright.
Did she say where we were supposed to go?
No, she said to set sail.
I was making a drink at the time.
Well...
Yeah, she just told us that we had to go to the Don's Hammer Reloaded.
Reforged.
Oh boy.
They are not going to want to talk to us.
We need to find an intermediary to do the talking for us over there because they are going to be pissed.
They are definitely going to remember us.
We don't blow the shit out of that.
Well, I mean, they named it the same thing.
That doesn't mean anything.
It doesn't necessarily.
I'm just saying it's a risk.
I think we'll be okay.
I mean, we weren't...
You know, we were...
They probably won't recognize us.
Alright, yeah.
Let's just go in there.
Also, she's gone now, right?
Lady Amoria...
Yeah, you dumped her on the trash can.
So we can fart now.
Captain.
Yes?
Fire.
You're tuned to that bomb ghost.
Oh, yeah.
I keep forgetting I can do these things.
Alright.
It's funny.
I did, too.
I've never seen you really do it.
I've seen you try.
Alright, here we go.
One, two, three.
Tune.
Partial success, lads.
I don't know what that means.
We'll find out.
Great.
That's not the right one.
Hold on.
Is that a spooky ghost looking thing?
Or is that a man in a butler?
Oh, there he is.
I mean, he's a butler.
It's kind of spooky.
Okay, hold on.
In a way.
It's definitely the wrong picture.
Hold on.
New actor 21.
Oh, boy.
There you go.
Spooky now?
Spooky.
So you attune.
And, yeah, there's definitely a dark figure on the boat.
He's kind of focusing in and out.
You know, he's kind of blurry.
He's not quite 100% there.
But all you can hear coming from him is the sound of, like, a fuse burning, like a, you know, kind of burning, like a candle or something that's being burned.
Can you try to get him in a bottle?
I do have my chains that I never get to use.
Wait, can we talk to him first?
Does he say anything?
Hey, you, ghost.
What do you want with us, monster?
I need him on tree, Fanny.
The ghost.
Go ahead.
Oh, sorry, go ahead.
What do you want to say?
I was going to say, how do I throw my chains on him?
You can just use that when you're trying to command him.
It gives you, like, a little boost.
Okay, so.
Do I have an empty?
I think I have one empty bottle, right?
Yeah, I think you do.
Can I command him into empty bottle?
Yeah, you can put him in an empty bottle.
I assume you.
I have Neelix in one, and then I have a ritual summoning of a fire demon of some sort.
Okay, so if you wanted to put him in an empty bottle, you can.
If you want to take him with you, you're going to have to add that onto your load.
You'd have to have four bottles then.
Okay.
Do I already have, how many bottles?
That makes sense.
You have two bottles that you can carry with you currently.
If you just want to capture him and throw him in an empty bottle and leave him in the junk fort, that's fine.
You can do that.
Because I definitely think you would have a lot of empty bottles lying around considering you drink obsessively.
But if you wanted to take him with you in addition to your other two bottles, then you would have to increase your load.
Oh, use him as a weapon.
You have Neelix and then the fire ball.
Ritual.
That's a ritual.
I don't think that counts.
That's a ritual summoning.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Then you can catch him.
I'm just making sure.
I mean, you might be right, but I thought...
I thought it was a demon that did the fireball for you.
That's what I said.
Yeah.
Right.
But it's a ritual that he brings.
It's not like he's in a bottle.
Oh, I thought...
Okay.
Yeah.
No, you do a ritual to summon him.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sort of like a...
Yeah.
One bottle.
Yeah.
So I'm just going to go ahead and give a little command here.
And, you know...
Get in my bottle.
I'm going to throw it in like a fishing...
I'm going to throw it at him with my chain like a fishing line.
And then can I...
Make sure you add one.
What?
Add one?
You have plus one for using your...
Yeah.
For using your hooks.
Right.
Or chains, as you've decided to call that.
Oh, man.
That's not correct.
We got a large one, boys.
No, that can't be correct.
Your command...
You have two commands.
Yeah.
So you should roll three die.
Yeah.
It's your command plus one.
I did do command plus one.
Did you click on yourself?
Because that...
I didn't click on myself.
I just clicked on the command action.
It was rolled on your captain.
How do you only have one, though?
I don't know.
You should have three.
I have one on my paper.
Did I upgrade my command at one point?
It says two on your sheet in Foundry.
So what happened?
Yeah.
So if you roll your commands, you should get two plus one.
That's why I'm confused why you got only rolled one.
I rolled plus...
I rolled my command plus one.
Do you want to try it again?
Yeah.
Because that doesn't...
That's not the right number.
See?
I'm doing the same thing.
I don't know.
I rolled your command plus one, and it did something different.
That's crazy.
Can we take that roll?
Please?
Yeah.
I'm fine with that.
Tell me how you capture him.
You got him.
Oh, I catch him like a marlin, you know?
And he's the...
You know, I'm giving him some slack, and then reeling him in.
And I'm giving him some slack, and then I'm reeling him in.
And he's fighting.
Oh, he's a fighter.
You know, it's a...
He's like knocking things over, and, you know, Jekylls and Squish are both doing things.
I'm not sure what, but, you know...
Squish is hiding.
Yeah, I mean, this guy is like...
It's kind of like that scene in the second Ghostbusters movie where they're in the courtroom,
and they're just making a huge mess of that courtroom.
I mean, it's probably like the first scene in the first Ghostbusters movie where they made
a huge mess of that ballroom.
But, yeah, it's like that, except our place was already kind of a mess, so it's kind of cleaning
the place up.
It somehow looks better afterwards.
It's like all those...
You just disintegrate him off.
All that destruction is kind of like an aesthetic thing.
And then eventually I get him into an arm lock, and I yell at him, and then he gets into...
And then I kind of, like, shove him into a bottle.
Yeah, you cork him up.
Now inside of this old whiskey bottle, you just have this black undulating mask.
Oh, yeah.
Did we ever figure out what it was?
No, I was trying to ask it, but then you just cast it.
Can I ask it now, now that it's in the bottle?
What kind of ghost are you?
Yeah.
Yeah, you can ask him.
What kind of ghost are you, monster?
I'm not a ghost.
I'm a demon.
Oh, guys, we got a good one.
I don't think I've ever caught a demon before.
You can't just catch my people.
I didn't mean to.
Wait, we could have put you in a bottle this entire time?
No, because I'm half demon.
Oh.
Humans cannot be bottled.
Can you put squish in a bottle?
Bridget?
Try to put me in a bottle.
I'm going to say no on this one.
I'm implying that there's different types of demons, the type of demon he is, and then these
actual otherworldly beings.
Because I'm pretty sure if you just hit squish with your hooks, they would hurt, but they
wouldn't do anything to his soul or force him into a bottle.
It would just be as bad as getting hit with a regular fishing hook.
Yeah, it still hurt, but I think you just piss him off and actually command his will.
I would be very mad, yes.
I would then punch you.
We could tinker him into a bottle.
What?
We could tinker him?
Do you want to give a try, Captain?
What'd you say?
Do you want to try?
No, no, no.
I just wanted to...
I'm okay with the question being unanswered for now.
Aren't we, squish?
No, it is answered.
The answer is no.
It wouldn't work.
You'd just see how...
You'd roll to see how much you piss him off.
Oh, well then, no.
It doesn't sound very...
Very paragon.
Renegade for life.
All right.
Well, so I guess...
Yeah, he's in the bottle.
Do you have anything else you want to ask him?
Yeah.
What can you do?
For me.
If you let me out, give me like five minutes and I will just blow the lid off this popsicle
stand.
Love to blow things up.
Big fan.
Little bumped.
I've heard about you guys.
Pretty excited.
Yeah.
This is...
Oh, yeah.
You're perfect for the crew.
Yeah.
We are going to use you to your fullest extent.
We love blowing shit up.
We are.
I am so excited.
How often can you blow this popsicle stand?
And how familiar are you with explosions?
Great with explosions.
Blow up once.
I'll do good.
I go back to the demon realm.
And then, you know, you gotta do a little...
You gotta summon me again.
But, you know, I'm always, always willing to blow things up.
All right.
Well, thank you.
And I put them in my pocket and they're like, guess we got...
Guys, we got like ourselves one freebie, if you will, of blowing something up.
If we want, we can blow this necklace up.
You're right.
We should blow up Lady Amoria.
I don't think we should just kill people.
He is so vengeful.
I'm not sure why.
Just because he's...
I cannot give him a sandwich.
Over $15,000.
Right.
She tricked me.
I thought she was taking me downstairs for some sweet, sweet lovin'.
Nope.
That's she introduced you to us.
To our first major explosion.
She'd be a cruel mistress.
The one that put us on the map.
Yeah, she's the one that...
That's the one that put us on the map, lads, is that first explosion.
Yep.
You're welcome.
You hear from the bottle.
Oh.
Who's that?
I thought that was Paul.
That was definitely the bottle.
It's kaboom.
Oh, kaboom.
All right.
Well, I guess we'll just keep that.
Hopefully, he doesn't blow up prematurely on us.
I'm sure there's no way this can backfire.
Nope.
Not at all.
I'm a great pirate.
All right.
Best one I've ever heard of.
Yep.
Set sail.
Yep.
There we go.
Set sail.
Oh, wait.
We've been drifting for several hours now.
Guys, we got to go get a big stick.
Can our sail just be, like, made of, like, old clothes?
Like, ratty shirts and pants and stuff that we sewed together?
You mean stolen?
Various stolen fabrics?
Just, like, tablecloths and just old uniforms and stuff?
Rugs and carpets people have, you know, collected over the years.
Grapes.
Not going to make me be sleeping on.
You could.
Yeah.
You could definitely, if you want to make something, make a sail.
It's not going to be very effective with the, as effective with the steering as your, as captain's navigation project will be.
Right.
Yeah.
It's a great project.
We've got the best people in it.
Sorry.
No.
You're good.
All right.
Let's just go to the Dawn's Revenge.
Dawn's Revenge.
I feel like that's ominous.
Especially since it's dusk.
I also think it's called Thor's Hammer Reforged.
No, that's something else.
Oh.
Dawn's Hammer Reforged.
I don't know.
I have Reloaded Revenge and Reforged.
Oh, Reloaded sounds cool.
Resurrection.
How do you, how do you reload a boat?
So you guys walk down the docks.
I'm assuming you're all wanting to go, right?
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to cut you off.
Are you all ready to go?
You were right to cut us off.
So you all start walking down the docks.
It's pretty hustle and bustle down there.
You pass some groups of, you know, pretty armed men who kind of give you a side eye as you walk past.
Lots of fish.
Lots of smells.
And you're just in this harbor area with just rows and rows and rows of piers with boats outside of them.
Doc.
Wait, we should probably find Turnswell.
What's he going to do?
See if he can find it to authenticate it.
The necklace?
Yeah.
We'll do that after we get the necklace.
But that way we can find out where it is.
A hundred percent.
Oh, you think he'll, he'll be able to help?
Yeah.
Be able to find out where it is.
So like he can lead us to that instead of just going to the ship and hoping it's on there.
Good idea.
Also, he should talk to anybody that needs talking to at the, by this boat, because I'm scared that they're going to recognize me and then try and blow me up.
So are you going to go back to, you're looking for Turnswell now?
Yeah.
Can't we just like call him?
Yeah.
He owns a store.
Can we go to his store?
Yeah.
Of course.
Uh, you go to Turnswell's store and, uh, unfortunately it looks like there hasn't been, uh, anyone in there in quite some time.
But, uh, outside of the store.
Did we bring him, did we bring him anything like a gift?
Oh, we're going to get him a bottle of booze.
Well, we don't already.
We should give him, Captain, do you have any booze on you?
Uh, no.
Perhaps in your peg leg?
I know where you keep it now.
I don't have a peg leg.
I mean, yeah, I know it's not exactly a peg, but it is fake and it's a leg.
So, come on.
Out with it.
I, I, I, I like bend over and I like, oh, here's a popping.
And I pull it out.
It's half drank.
It's, yeah, it's got enough for a party.
All right.
Good enough for a party.
Let's fill it up with water the rest of the way.
Just like, you know, and he'll think it's full.
I pull out some of the holy water dumping in there.
Holy water.
Oh, yeah.
He's going to love that.
He's going to totally believe this.
This is not, this is a great idea.
The shop that you walk into definitely looks empty.
It doesn't look like there's been anyone for a while.
It's still pretty disheveled from the last time you visited it.
There's nobody inside.
Turd swallow.
We're here for you.
Is there a bell on his, his table or his desk?
Oh, like a.
Yeah.
There's a little bell.
I read it all furiously.
From outside of the store.
Uh, one of the.
Things you assumed was garbage.
Just laying on the street, uh, kind of shuffles and like moves and gets up and he goes, who's
who's ringing the bell?
It's your old buddy.
Hello.
You look in.
You see turn swallow and he doesn't have his glasses on anymore.
He's incredibly disheveled and, uh, he's just like staring wildly into the, into the store.
He's not really recognizing any of you.
Who?
What?
We're closed.
Come back tomorrow.
No, no.
We're not here to buy anything.
We're here because we need you to do something for us.
You, you guys, this is all your fault.
No, we broke you out of jail.
Broke me out of jail.
I wanted to stay in the jail.
And don't you remember who gave you a biscuit?
Who gave you a biscuit?
You gave me a biscuit.
And then guess what?
And then what?
It exploded.
And you, you take, you give me two on that whiskey onion shit.
And I go to, I go to Watts and then it blows up and I'm the one that's getting arrested.
You're three.
I'm, and he's very drunk, but he is irate.
He's like, I don't want anything to do with any of you.
Yeah.
Give him the bottle.
Do you want something to do with this?
Squish?
Squish.
Do you want to have anything to do with this?
Hey, see a degenerate.
Hold out the bottle.
He kind of stares at it.
But grudgingly, but definitely he takes the bottle out of your hands and he rolls his eyes,
but he uncorks it and starts drinking.
And he drinks and he drinks and he drinks and he takes the whole bottle down in one solid drink.
Oh.
Hey.
I'm glad we watered that one down.
That was for sure.
Yeah, that was, that was enough to have a party.
Open a party for four, but goddamn, dude.
Jesus Christ.
Save some for the fishes.
What do you possibly want?
All right.
We got an interesting business proposition for you.
Very interesting.
We need you to find and evaluate the Merc's Turtle.
The Ming Feng.
Ming Feng.
The Huck Feng.
What?
I mean, he knows what we're talking, you know what we're talking about.
The Mui Feng?
Oh, are you talking about that stupid Magu Feng?
Ah, Magu Feng.
Yeah, that's it.
Magu.
Yeah.
I heard some guys in the bar talking about that.
So they picked it up along with all the money, spending money at the bar like it's no big deal.
Wait, you met the guys?
Of course.
They've been up here and down on this.
They've been over at that bar over there, wagging tail.
They've been drinking there for days, spending money.
Do they look strong?
I mean, but stronger than me.
But stronger than me.
He kind of wobbles a little.
Can I look for his glasses behind the table?
Behind the counter?
Go ahead.
Oh, that's so sweet of you.
I'm sure he's going to do something with something mean with them.
He's going to step on them or something.
Yeah, survey.
See if you find them.
Blow them up.
You do find the glasses, but they're kind of cracked down the middle.
They're just two halves of glasses.
Give me those things.
Yeah, give it to the tinkerer.
I could probably fashion good old regular glasses on them.
Yeah.
All right.
Can I roll for that?
Yeah, of course.
All right.
You fix his glasses.
You take this, like, group of just bent metal and glass, and you just kind of...
Right.
You mess around with them, and you end up back.
There you go, Poindexter.
Even better than they were before.
That is some impressive work, you do juggles.
So I take them, and I put them on his face.
Thank you.
You take the tinkering like I take the pirating.
You don't have to insult him like that, man.
Yeah, we haven't piloted anything yet.
I mean, I might be the worst pirate you've ever known, but I'm trying to be the best.
I mean, 50% of the ships we've been on, we blowed up.
We've been on more than one ship?
The Garbage Burge.
Oh, the Garbage?
The Garbage is a ship?
That's more like a pontoon.
All right, then 100% of the ships we've been on, you blowed up.
I mean, none of them have been my ship.
You tried, though.
I mean...
But it didn't happen, so there.
That's still there.
Now, here's your glasses, you big nerd.
You gonna help us?
Just trying to give a lot of compliments.
Hey, yarr.
Yarr.
He blinks and goes, I don't know what you want me to do.
Bring me the necklace.
I'll authenticate it.
You can blow it up or whatever you want to do with it.
I don't care.
No, you've definitely served your purpose here.
He has?
I thought he was gonna tell us where to start.
Or do we already know where to start?
He did, the bar.
Hmm.
That's not...
Oh, yeah.
The one right there.
The wagging tail.
I'm gonna write that down.
All right.
Yeah.
A couple guys have been in there for the last few days just drinking.
I don't know how they do it.
They don't get a hangover.
They don't regret their life's decisions.
They don't have existential crises.
They don't sleep in the gutter.
You have a story.
You just sleep here.
But do they...
Are they friends with a magnificent pirate crew?
Well, I don't know if we're pirate crew per se, but a crew nonetheless.
We're loosely affiliated.
They are definitely part of a crew.
No, we are a part of a crew.
I'm saying we're...
I'm saying he's friends with us.
He's got good things going for him.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
Definitely.
Yeah, he's got a lot of good for him.
I really don't consider him a friend, but okay.
I don't know.
He's always been there when we needed him.
I don't consider you a friend.
I mean, he's my friend and you're my friend, so then therefore friends.
Yep, that's math.
Nope.
Math.
What?
No.
Wow.
How about that?
I don't consider him a friend.
Great.
Let's go to the wagon tail.
The wagon tail?
Wagging tail.
Oh, okay.
There we go.
Wow, there's a lot of siblings in here.
Oh, no.
This looks an awful lot like the Applebee's that we were stuck in.
Stucked up to soccer moms?
Yeah.
You walk into the wagon tail, which is, in terms of bars, pretty gross and seedy.
But, you know, got some lights.
There's tables with people drinking at them.
A lot of thick-necked guys.
There's a bartender in the corner.
And in the very back corner, kind of surrounded by a lot of people making a lot of noise, are two, hopefully, familiar faces, although maybe not too much.
The guy on the right looks like your dad.
Oh!
Beforehand, before we walk in, can I change into that captain's outfit that we stole on the Dawn's hammer?
No.
The guard's outfit?
Was it a guard?
I thought it was, like, the captain's outfit.
I remember taking it off the dead captain or something.
Oh, yeah.
It was, like, a soldier's outfit.
Yeah.
So you stripped a dead man naked?
Yes.
You're proud of that, huh?
No.
I just put it on, though.
You're proud of that, huh?
Maybe a little.
We'll see how well this works.
You stripped a man naked?
A dead man.
Okay.
So then we walk in.
Yep.
You guys walk in, and you're not, you know, it's a pretty busy bar.
Lots of noise going on.
Dim lights.
Full of alcohol.
Lots of burly men sitting around tables.
In the back are two crew members.
You vaguely remember from being from Dawn's hammer.
P-Way and Tarnit.
Wait.
Oh, P-Way.
We helped P-Way.
Yeah, but he was in poor shape, I think.
What did we do with P-Way?
We helped him escape, right?
No, I think we helped him escape, but I think he was just getting beat up a lot.
He did get beat up.
Now, at one point, you did ask, you did consider leaving him behind.
But we didn't.
Oh, how did you tell?
Don didn't.
Who?
Don, the captain.
Oh.
Right.
When we got into a huge fight.
Mm-hmm.
Is Dee Dee with us?
What, like, Dee Dee's gonna remember?
Well, he's...
Pee-wee's gonna remember a monkey that kicked ass.
Sorry, an ape that kicked ass.
Yes.
All right.
So, let's go to the bar and order a drink.
All right.
Bartender, just an average-looking Joe, just kind of looks you up and down and goes,
huh, what are you drinking?
One bottle of whiskey, one bottle of holy water, and do you have cat food by chance?
I got the whiskey.
I don't really have any holy water, and I definitely don't have any cat food.
What do you think this is?
The downtrodden toad?
Do you have any cat whiskey?
We got that fancy stuff here.
We got whiskey.
We got beer.
You can pick one or the other.
Do you have a shoe with a hole in it that we can drink it out of?
I got a dirty shoe with no laces.
Yeah, just put it in there.
That's fine.
Yeah, that's pretty close.
Yeah, we'll take three of those.
Well, I only got two shoes.
All right.
Pop them off already.
Jesus Christ.
All right.
Kicks off his shoes.
Sets them on the counter.
Takes two.
Beer?
Whiskey?
What do you have in your shoes?
Yeah.
Just put it in there.
Will you just...
Come on.
Stop.
Just one whiskey, one beer, and one of each shoe.
Just kind of sets them out for you.
Oh, you got any cigarettes?
Oh, we don't have animals here.
Is it a service animal?
It's my service ape, yes.
And what service does it provide?
It's protected by a cat.
You keep that thing...
You keep that thing contained.
We already have enough craziness going on around here already.
I don't need any monkey going off the rails.
Yeah, the bartender ain't got no shoes on.
Yeah, what am I going to do?
You don't have glasses everywhere.
I assume a lot.
Well, here's your shoes.
All right.
Let's drink and talk of tales, boys.
Okay.
Yar.
I'm just hoping that we start talking and then the other guys come up to talk.
Yeah, because we're the cool group.
We're like the cool group.
They're eyeing you from across the room.
They definitely see you over there.
Oh, they see us.
They see us, and they're impressed.
Do they look strong?
No.
Yeah, we look strong.
Okay.
So, Tarnit is the bigger of the two.
He is still short and kind of round, and they both look like they've been eating well.
They're dressed in some nicer clothes.
Peeway is still pretty skinny and tall, but he is alive, which is pretty good for him.
They've been drinking for a while.
You can tell they've got drinks everywhere.
They're talking to people.
They're paying for their drinks.
They're having a really good time.
They're kind of living it up, and they're eyeing you from across the bar.
Yark.
They pick up their glasses.
Yark.
They're speaking my language, Lance.
All right.
Let's go over and talk to them, then.
Let's go parlay.
Maybe they're pirates.
That seems...
They did say Yarg, so, yeah.
And I come over, and I'm like, swagger over, and I go like, so?
Crazy weather.
Are you going to have it, huh?
Like the worst small talk you've ever heard.
It's hard to think people have pretty good boots.
They're like, well, better than being out on the sea.
Unless, you know, and they kind of share each other, like a share, a little nudging glance with each other and a little elbow rub.
Yeah, terrible weather.
Terrible weather.
I, Yarg, I be from the sea myself.
I'm Captain Adric Fitzglyde.
And I, like, wait for a moment to further all soak in.
Yarg.
Yeah, we, uh...
Hey, wait a minute.
And, uh, P-Way, like, looks over your shoulder.
Is that her monkey?
Uh, he's what?
That's Juggles.
Hey!
And he's an ape.
Thank you.
Any takers?
Yeah, I'll take a new right now.
Also, we do have a literal ape named Dee Dee, yes.
Dee Dee walks up to the table and, uh, they're like, oh, they're so excited to see him.
And he's like, oh, they're so excited to see him.
And, uh, kind of, like, slap her on the back and pour a drink for her and says, oh, the growing's all together.
Uh, we couldn't, couldn't have asked for a better, better night off.
Does Dee Dee recognize them?
Uh, yeah, Dee Dee does recognize them.
Dee Dee was on, you know, on their ship before.
So, valued crewmate.
Does Dee Dee love them more than she loves us?
No.
Why would you love them?
That's the strangest question I think I've ever heard.
Why is that strange?
I'm wondering.
I'm jealous.
I like to think that Juggles is just staring at this, like, happy reunion, just very upset.
Just.
Yeah.
That Ape better not love those guys more than she loves us.
Yeah.
But Dee Dee loves, Dee Dee loves, Dee Dee loves, Dee Dee loves Squish more than he loves Juggles.
And she loves cigarettes more than she loves anyone.
So, what's your point?
Oh, it's so good to see you, Dee Dee.
Tell us about your adventures.
And Dee Dee starts, like, you know, making monkey noises and wah!
Kind of, you know, speaking and Peeway and Turner just, mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Prison, you say.
Blew it up.
Oh, my God.
They speak Dee Dee, guys.
Of course we are.
We're crewmates.
We speak all the languages that speak the language of friends.
What about you?
You guys haven't picked up any monk?
I mean.
No.
I mean.
Not yet.
I can't read.
I can understand it.
I just can't speak it.
I've heard it.
I understood everything you could say.
Hey, weren't you those guys?
They say they're pointing to the three of you now, this kind of recognition.
Weren't you those guys that blew up the first ship?
Allegedly.
What ship?
No, it was technically the ghosts that blowed up the ship.
Yeah.
We're the garbage boys.
Yep.
Garbage burge boys.
You may have heard of us.
The garbage boys.
The garbage lads.
Well, come and have a drink with us, garbage boys.
We owe you.
We owe you some thanks.
If it weren't for you blowing up our first ship, well, we wouldn't have got our second one.
We wouldn't have gotten the treasure.
And then the whole thing.
Oh, in that case, we did blow it up.
And you realize that they've all been, the Peeway and Tarnit have been paying for everyone's drinks this entire evening.
Oh, funny.
They haven't started paying for hours yet.
Let's fix that for you.
Bartender, more shoes for these men.
Whiskey.
Extra sour.
It helps against scurvy.
Holy water.
Also helps against scurvy.
All right.
Well, do we all want to take a quick break and go get a drink with the rest of the crew?
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
Wait, is this in character or out of character?
This is out of character.
This is Bridget saying she wants to get a drink.
The garbage.
Thank you.
I'm in here now.
Thank you.
How was that?
Who stepped on a frog?
That was a ghost.
Ghost frog.
It was Kaboom, the ghost.
Every once in a while he lets out a burp.
No, he's ready to blow some up.
You're going to feel a little rumble in your pocket.
That's him.
Building up gas.
Yes, exactly.
All right.
Where were we?
All right.
Where were we?
All right.
Everyone back?
I'm sorry.
I still can't see you.
Tiger, Brandon.
You guys there?
You can only see me.
Hammered.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Well, you and Craig.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
So, P. Wayne, Tarnit, invite you to have some drinks.
And they start talking with you.
They tell you.
Oh, well.
Good to have the whole crew with us again.
Except for Dawn, of course.
But, you know, she's roughing it up over at Ginger's Club.
Too fancy for us.
But that's all right.
We'll all have a good time either way.
Well, I'm glad we ran into you two.
You guys seem like a couple of true blue souls.
It's actually nice to hear that you guys escaped that exploding shit.
Yeah, that was a pretty.
Go ahead.
Nothing.
He just trailed off.
Yeah.
Nope.
That's the most captain thing I've ever seen.
All right.
I got distracted by.
What?
A shoe full of liquor.
Well, you know, the important thing is that we stuck together despite all of that.
You know, we escaped the ship.
We bought another one.
We pooled all of our money together.
Bought another ship.
And look how it's paid off.
Look at us.
We're rich.
How did it pay off?
Yeah.
What's the deal?
I'll tell you.
Is this scheme quick rich?
Because I couldn't really use a quick word scheme.
It's not even a scheme.
It was just luck.
We're out there fishing.
Fishing for Leviathan caviar.
Y'all know about that.
Most delicious.
Best thing on the planet.
And, well, we didn't catch any Leviathan.
Because we're not very good at it, apparently.
But while we were out there, we caught this giant chest.
It was this big, gray, butterly looking thing.
And, you know, the dawn, she said, I don't think we should be touching with that.
And Peeway, you too.
You said, I don't think we should be touching with that.
But you know what?
I thought.
I thought it's a treasure chest.
What have they got locked up in there?
We cracked the sucker open.
With pirate treasure just everywhere.
It's a balloon coming out of the thing.
And this stupid necklace thing.
And a couple of...
Wait, wait, wait.
There was a necklace?
Yeah, yeah.
It's made out of, you know, Leviathan teeth, you know.
That's what they said.
That's what they claimed.
You know, the people who took a look at it.
They said it looked like Leviathan teeth.
Anyway, you know.
That's weird.
Dawn being smart.
What do you mean it's weird?
I mean, I don't know.
It's a little 90s, you know, to put teeth on a necklace.
I mean, we'll take that off your hands if you don't want it anymore.
Yeah, who wants to carry around gross teeth?
Am I right, lads?
Right.
Except my own.
Oh, yeah.
Well, we don't have a necklace.
I mean, what are we going to do with a necklace, right?
What are we going to do with one, you know?
Yeah, I know.
Us men, we hate necklaces.
They're so gross.
Yeah, for sure.
You give it to a lady friend to spoo her.
So what?
What, did you throw it back in the ocean?
No, no.
Dawn took it.
You know what?
Dawn's a smart girl.
She took all of our belongings, all of the treasure, and she divided it up equally.
And she gives us a little bit every day.
Because, you know, she knows me and P-Way.
We're not the best with budgeting.
So she gives us a little bit of money every day.
And we just enjoy life as it is.
Eventually, we're going to have to go back out there onto that boat.
But not today.
Hey.
Yeah.
All right.
Go, go, go, go, go.
When you got it evaluated, did they say if it had, like, a name or something?
Well, Dawn had it evaluated.
Dawn's the one that's been handling all this.
They called it the, what was it?
Magoo Finn.
That's what they called it.
The Magoo Finn.
I thought that was the same name.
Wait.
It was the Magoo Finn?
That's what they called it.
A Magoo Finn necklace.
Magoo.
Do you know that thing is, like, priceless?
Well, you know what's really priceless?
The company of friends.
And he slaps people.
It's worthless.
No.
Hold on.
I want to try to.
All right.
How are we going to trick these people?
What are you doing?
Yeah.
We tell them that it's extremely valuable, which is true.
So that hopefully they'll join us in trying to get it back from Dawn.
Or they'll take it from themselves.
I thought Dawn was the ship.
No.
Dawn is the captain of the ship.
Oh.
Oh, Dawn's hammer.
Dawn's hammer and Dawn's reforger.
Reloaded.
Revenge.
Reforge.
Resurrection.
My God.
Refrigerator.
Dawn's refrigerator.
That is my plan.
If you guys want to go with it or not.
I mean, it's just a plan.
I'm just.
I don't.
We're just here for a good time.
Yeah.
I already forgot why we came.
Yeah.
That's a strong shoe.
It's.
Yeah.
Free refills.
They're free to us.
Yeah.
Somehow this turned into an air in character.
It's a segue.
All right.
The prize possession is friendship.
And then, like I said, he slaps.
Uh, P way.
And he on the back.
It does one of these.
I'm so glad we got the crew back together.
Yar.
More drinks on their tab.
Yeah.
Yar.
Uh, yeah.
I'll drink more.
Yeah.
And he, uh, they order another round.
Wait, there's only been two shoes this time.
Who's not drinking?
I only heard one.
I didn't hear a horn from you.
Wait, I didn't know.
I thought I was the only one drinking out of shoes.
No, because the bartender has two shoes.
Yeah.
I'm not sure why we got two shoes.
Well, there's three of us.
Understood.
The bartender only has two shoes.
No, I understood that too.
I just didn't think that you guys also wanted to drink out of shoes.
I thought that was just for me.
Juckles.
So you've been drinking out of both shoes?
Yeah.
He's double-fisting it.
He's double-shoeing it.
You're double-shoeing the drinks?
Yeah, it looks ridiculous.
Are you just wearing socks right now?
No, the bartender's shoes.
Not my own shoes.
I'm not a...
The bartender's definitely just wearing socks.
There's a couple holes in them.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh.
Gross.
Yeah.
I'm not drinking out of shoes.
They call it the wagon tail, but boy, my dog's barking.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Yarr.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Friendship.
That's the most prized possession of all.
Yeah, we got it.
I've watched enough Saturday morning cartoons to know that it was about the friends we made along the way.
But it's also about the necklace.
Yarr.
Yep.
Like I said, I don't know about the necklace.
I mean, really, it was just, it looked like a cheap piece of junk.
You know, one of those things you buy at, like, souvenir shops.
You know, I'm lucky you didn't just say, you know, made in China or something on it.
Yeah.
And China was a place that existed, which clearly doesn't, because we're in a semi-futuristic fantasy land.
But also in the past.
But we should get that necklace and sell it on the open market.
I've got a buyer.
Yeah.
QA and Turner are going to look at each other and they're like, whoa, I mean, we're, we don't, we don't have the necklace.
Yeah, well, let's go get it.
Well, the only person who knows where it is currently is the captain.
She's, she's all the way across town.
Well, you know where she is.
Yeah, let's jump her.
They just kind of stare at you.
We just don't do anything like that against Don.
Did you never take care of your project?
The most important thing.
And you have three friends, four friends here.
You can't be friends with your boss.
It's called, no, absolutely not.
It's called Don's Hammer.
It's Don's Hammer Reforged.
We're Don's boys.
Not, not garbage boys.
We stand by our crew.
But, but hold on, hold on, PUA.
PUA.
What's the other guy's name?
Tervish?
Tarnit.
The worst argument I've ever seen.
Doesn't PUA's Hammer and Tarnit's Hammer sound better than Don's Hammer?
Listen, before we met Don, we were just drinking every night.
Horror as hell.
You're still doing that.
Long and covered with diseases.
But we're rich and we're doing it.
And it's because of her smart ingenuity.
We wouldn't have been able to buy another ship after you guys blew up the first one.
We wouldn't be able to buy a second ship.
We wouldn't have been able to go to the void sea and back without Don.
We don't do anything without her.
Now you listen to me, PUA.
I done blowed up the Don's Hammer.
I'm going to blow up Don's Resurrection.
I'm going to blow up Don.
So, if you want to blow up instead of being the blowee, then you get on this boat.
Squish starts backing away.
He's got that look in his eye.
As you guys are yelling and the voices in the bar are starting to raise,
you notice that all of the patrons, all of those really thick-necked, burly men,
are getting quiet and they're turning to look at you.
Oh, those are bears.
He's been our strong.
You need to take TD and start walking towards the door.
Right.
You're just going to leave me out there.
Okay.
Where's Don?
You know where Don?
And PUA standout.
Yeah, we know where Don's at.
Okay, we're going there.
Yeah, I just, you know what?
Instead of backing away, I just put an arm around Junkle.
And, like, turn him around.
I turn around to Pee Wee and Durst.
No, this guy doesn't think he knows who he's talking to.
And he gets really angry.
I will blow everything up right to the kingdom come.
When he doubles shoes, he gets so angry.
Put me down.
I'm going to blow him.
Let me at him.
I'm going to blow him up.
I'm literally, I'm fireman carrying Junkle's out of the bar.
Oh, you are lucky.
You are lucky.
You are just fireman carrying me out of here.
Because if he wasn't carrying me, I could blow you up.
I feel like this would happen in real life.
Like, this is when the characters become their...
So, Squish, you leave Chuckles out.
Captain, what are you doing?
Oh, I'm falling behind.
I was just trying to schmooze with everybody else.
Kind of blend in.
I don't know what the fuss is about.
I'm just hanging out.
You know?
I'm just hanging out.
I'm having it here for a good time.
You know?
Everyone's leaving.
Everyone's leaving the bar now.
Yep.
I'm jumping.
And I'm slowly getting up the heck out of there.
I am, like, leaping over a few chairs.
And, you know, goodbye.
As you guys leave the bar, Dee Dee slowly kind of follows you.
But she gets about halfway to the bar.
Or, you know, to the door.
And looks back at P-Way and Tarnit.
And does one of these.
A peace sign?
Yeah.
And walks away.
Wait.
To them, not to us, right?
No, no, no.
She's following you.
Oh, truly, truly she is.
She does love us more.
She's got the fucking best life on the garbage.
Yeah, she's truly the best of us.
I mean, if she could make peace like that, we almost got into a fight over that.
She, with two fingers, made peace.
Speak for yourself.
Yeah, you almost got into a fight.
For once, it wasn't me.
I was going to settle it for all of us.
You threatened to blow up the entire wagging tail.
Yeah, I did.
And I could have, too.
If you would just let me.
You don't have the kaboom ghost.
I, well, but I'd blow him up, though.
All right.
I'd figure it out.
Let's figure it out.
Let's let you sober up on the way to the ginger.
I do think if I, both as the captain and as myself, I do think he could have figured out how to blow it up.
I mean.
Oh, yeah.
He's worked with less and blown up more.
Yeah, he could have tinkered a giant bomb.
Yeah, that place is a powder keg ready to explode.
And I was the one to explode it.
He could show you how to make a bomb out of a piece of toilet paper and a stick of dynamite.
And a real McGovernor.
I'm pretty great, aren't I?
And then that's when I pass out.
Oh, no.
Don't pass out.
I passed out right after I said that.
As you guys are walking down and Chuckles passes out, you're still in the docks.
And you hear a couple of footsteps following behind you.
And you hear someone go, well, you guys going to blow something else up, huh?
I love you.
Who are you?
And there's Tawny, Baz's second in command, and two of the thugs.
I immediately drop Chuckles on the ground and draw my rifle.
Oh, see, your rifle's on pieces.
Right there.
Your rifle is in disrepair.
You just dropped your best weapon right there.
Just pick up that little...
He's passed out.
He's the perfect weapon right now.
Just hook him at the three of them.
I guarantee you.
Throw the little man at them.
They won't see it coming.
All right, then I draw a pistol.
And they kind of stop.
And they're like, listen.
Listen, we just want to talk.
You know, maybe we just feel bad about the way things ended with Baz.
But you realize you're in his territory, right?
Okay, so what are you doing here, then?
And as they're continuing to talk, two guys show up behind you.
So there's two in front...
Well, three in front of you, two behind you.
And they said, look, we just...
There's just some loose ends we need to tie up.
A junk fort we got to get back.
I mean, we don't want any harm to come to you.
Except, of course, the harm that we're going to inflict on you ourselves.
Okay, so go get the goddamn junk fort.
What junk fort?
I don't know anything about a junk fort.
I'm passed out.
You're not here right now.
You're kind of in a stalemate situation.
You guys are surrounded.
All right.
Well, I pull out the explosive demon.
Back off.
No.
Okay.
All right.
Threatening tactic.
I thought you were going to actually, like, let him go.
No.
Take off.
This baby is ready to explode.
It's a whiskey bottle.
All right.
You're right.
I got a better idea.
Did you pull off the wrong peg leg again?
You know what?
It might be.
Can I do my ritual summoning?
Yes, of course.
All right.
How do I do that?
Or do I say I do it?
Does it take time?
The ritual itself takes time as long as the ritual, like, takes.
So there's the process of doing the ritual.
So tell us what your ritual is for summoning your fire demon.
Oh, my ritual.
What can I do for a ritual?
Is it like a dance?
It could be anything.
This is all fucking made up.
You can do a dance.
You can say an incantation.
You can do some mystical hand waving.
I do all of that.
But roughly, it looks like the fusion dance from Dragon Ball Z.
Fusion.
Ha!
And I do that.
And I, like, out of my fingers.
With the bottle in one of the hands.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, it's not from a bottle.
He comes from my fingertips, though.
Oh.
You know?
Right.
So he shows up in the other side of the fusion dance.
Yeah.
And his name is Lainio Hotman.
He's a fire knight.
He shoots fireballs because it gives him pleasure.
He has no reasoning for it.
He just loved to shoot fireballs.
They had to put him down for it.
That's why I could summon him.
He appears and kind of, you know, and just starts shooting off some fireballs.
Are these going in any particular direction, Captain?
Or are these just going everywhere?
Oh, they're just going kind of, you know, it's like he's like aiming kind of like a sprinkler system.
And he's, but it's his fireballs.
They make the sound that Mario's fireballs make, you know.
I can't make the fireball sound, it turns out.
But, yeah, he's doing that.
And I'm kind of standing behind.
I'm like, I've never done this before.
I don't know what he's going to take.
We better get Chuckles out of here.
No, leave him there.
What?
He's my cabin boy.
I can't leave him here.
I sneak up.
During all the confusion, I sneak away.
Oh, my God.
I run up.
I like run up and do like the worst cartwheel you've ever seen.
Kind of like what Creed does from The Office.
When he does this perfect cartwheel, it looks just like that.
And I grab Chuckles and I, you know, throw them over my shoulder and I start running.
I was going to attack these guys.
Oh, well, I didn't know that.
So I did a half somersault.
So you're running in the opposite direction.
I'm going to have you roll your rec plus one because you're using your demon to see what kind of damage your fireball demon does.
That's fair.
And here we go.
Oof.
Wait, it should be plus one.
So you should roll at least one.
Right.
I don't think you're doing this right.
I go to actions.
I go to actions and I go to command.
And I go from there.
It just says standard risky and zero D.
Rec.
I'm doing this for you.
Oh, I know.
I did rec.
Oh, maybe.
You did do rec.
Plus one.
Yeah.
Roll.
So it should be the five.
Yeah.
I don't.
Yeah.
That's weird.
Yeah.
It's weird that when you're doing it, it's not the right number.
So I'll just go with the five.
You managed to take one of the guards out.
You're also setting things on fire in the, in the, in this like dock area in the street.
So like Tyndling is starting to crisp up and form some of the, you know, everything's
kind of getting a little crispy.
I'm going to shoot one of the guys out.
You hit one of them.
I'm going to shoot it, Tony.
I imagine the fire guy is like kind of like one of those weird guys is just really like
loves fire.
And he's like, you know.
Yeah.
He's just like.
Fire.
Yes.
Yeah.
Fire.
From like Beavis.
Yeah.
From the time of his life.
From the business of Bloodhead.
Yeah.
He looks like Beavis on fire.
That's exactly right.
You're going to shoot.
You're going to shoot Tony.
Yeah.
I'm going to shoot Tony from a distance because I snuck away.
Okay.
I'll go ahead and use your hunt.
Trying to think if I should push myself here.
Hold on.
Let me see how much stress I got.
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to push myself.
Yeah.
You're you.
Didn't you get rid of all your.
No, I got to.
Oh, thank God.
I did.
I think.
You hit Tony.
He's going to go down.
You got three kind of ganging up on you.
And the fire demon, I'm sure, is still doing his sort of thing.
But he's going to start to burn out.
So now it's more of like three plus DD against three.
DD, go.
Attack.
Attack them.
All right.
Use confusion.
DD, dragon's rage.
Are you commanding DD direct?
We're kind of treating him like a Pokemon right now.
Yeah, I guess so.
Even though I don't have any.
So, yeah.
That's exactly what I did.
All right.
Let's see how she does.
Go ahead and command DD.
Not good.
DD sees the fireballs and just starts screaming.
You know, just cannot stand the fire.
People are starting to come into the street.
The smoke is starting to get people's attention.
You're starting to hear like fire bells and like a fire alarm going off.
People start shouting for water.
You're getting a lot of attention now.
The three guards are kind of like, oh, shit.
What do we do?
Chuckles, are you still asleep?
I feel like maybe that the commotion from the fire alarm started to wake me up.
That and I started kicking you.
Ow.
Who's kicking me?
Nobody.
Get up.
We're on attack.
What?
Did you guys.
What did you do now?
All right.
Okay.
I'd like to help.
Can I roll for that?
Are you ready?
Yes.
Are you ready to be thrown?
What?
No, don't throw me.
Throw him.
You better come up with a good idea to get us out of here.
Or I have to throw you.
Well, I've only got two moves.
Let's see it.
Well, I just backed up into a corner and I see you guys looking at me like I'm supposed
to help.
And I really have no idea.
I just woke up and I'm starting to get desperate.
I'm starting to get desperate.
Go Lynn.
He's starting to get desperate.
Oh, my God.
I know.
He's got that look in his eyes.
Are you going to try and sway these guys to back off?
Or you just give it everyone's hand?
No, no.
I'm going to join.
Juggles, are you going nut punting?
I think so.
What?
We're going to go like back to back?
Yeah.
Back to back.
Not punching.
I just start cheering from the side going, yes.
Yes.
We're standing side by side ready to go and we start charging.
And wait.
None of these people have seen our nut punch, right?
Tawny?
Tawny might have.
I don't think he has either.
Tawny's down though.
Okay.
Yeah, Tawny's down.
All right.
So, yeah.
I guess we're going nut hunting.
Okay.
Do you guys want to do this together?
Yeah.
All right.
Go ahead and wreck it.
You should push yourself.
I was going to say you get a plus one because you've got squish giving you encouragement.
All right.
Can someone else roll for me just because I've been having a hard time?
Yeah.
I just rather.
And it's wreck, right?
Yeah.
You're just.
We're going to wreck.
If you guys get two sixes, they add together for a critical success.
That's critical.
Because we got teamwork.
All right.
So.
I'm not even going to look.
So.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
It doesn't matter.
Captain got two sixes.
Yeah.
I'm like.
I'm doing.
I'm doing like a bat.
Like the Batman backhand where I'm like.
But I'm on my knees.
Like I slide.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm like.
All right.
You can't shoot the guys out immediately.
They're down.
And the third.
After seeing such disaster.
Just takes off.
There's a crowd of people in the street.
But none of them are approaching you.
Because they just saw that ludicrous display of nut punching.
Yeah, they call me the nut blaster disaster.
You stole my phone.
Can I just say out of character.
It amazes me that like.
Y'all will roll some shitty.
Shitty rolls sometimes.
But the nut punching.
Almost without fail.
It's a critical.
You don't want it to work.
You really, really don't want it to work.
But you know.
That's what's gotten me into this mess.
One of these times.
I just like it to fail.
But it never does.
It's like the dice.
No.
It's incredible.
I mean.
We're all like.
We're all a little like Bobby Hill.
I don't know you.
That's my purse.
That's my chuckles.
Well.
There are still some smoldering embers.
And a me.
Yeah.
Smoldering embers of nuts.
Of nuts.
Yeah.
It's a fucking.
I'm zero over here.
Too.
Too close to the reunion, man.
Oh shit.
You're right.
Yeah.
When you said.
Never forget.
Tawny was down.
He's just injured.
He's not dead.
Right?
Yeah.
You only got a.
Well.
You got a five.
So he's not completely out.
He saw everything.
That you guys did.
But he's not.
He's not going to be able to follow you.
I want to shoot him in the head.
Okay.
Well.
Maybe not in the head.
But I definitely want to do a kill and blow.
Yeah.
Shoot the kill.
We're also going to shoot him.
I guess.
You're going to.
In the heart.
Execute him.
In the heart.
Well.
I.
Okay.
I.
As a character.
I.
Can I.
Can I see you approaching his head.
For like.
An execution.
Yeah.
So I walk up with the pistol drawn.
And pointing it at him.
And.
And walking slowly.
And I'm like.
Whoa.
Come on.
I like.
I don't like this bastard any more than you do.
But this is not.
This is not us.
Man.
You're going to shoot him in cold blood.
He's betrayed us.
I.
It's not in cold blood.
He tried to attack us.
I think it was a misunderstanding.
No.
It's not.
Okay.
Fine.
We understood perfectly.
But this does not seem right.
I think maybe.
Maybe we can get a use out of him.
So you want to leave him on the garbage?
No.
He's not on the garbage.
No.
You want to bring him to the garbage.
And leave him there while we.
Our stuff.
No.
I think maybe.
Maybe.
He could serve to.
Give us information.
And then.
Give a message back to.
Baz.
I'm just saying.
I'm not all about.
Murdering this man in cold blood.
Now.
Yes.
I have murdered.
My fair share of people.
Via explosions.
But.
I mean.
That was not.
Cold blood.
Probably.
But.
What bigger message.
Can you send.
Than killing someone.
Second in command.
I mean.
That's true.
I just.
Not comfortable.
I'm not.
That's over.
I'm sorry.
I vote no.
I'm killing this man in cold blood.
I guess we're a crew.
I don't know if we vote.
But.
That's just all I'm saying.
Let's go.
No murder.
Stop murdering.
What if we just.
Tie him up and take his pants.
That's pretty embarrassing.
You can nut blast him.
Seems like that's working for me.
I feel like.
That might be pushing our luck.
But.
Yeah.
I see you haven't gotten yours in today.
I.
Wait.
I didn't punch at all either.
No.
Squish hasn't.
Oh.
Juckles.
You.
You punched.
You.
You took him down.
Thanks.
You took the third one down.
Oh.
You took the third one down.
Yeah.
I did some punching.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
You each hit one.
And.
The.
The shock of it.
Scared the third one off.
I don't know what we do with this guy.
I don't feel comfortable just shooting him in the head.
Laying here on the ground.
Yeah.
That's all I'm saying.
That's all he's saying.
I see tactically.
Strategically.
Why we should do that.
Don't feel good about it.
We got a lot of ghosts following us probably.
Yeah.
We're not in anymore.
All right.
Okay.
So I point the gun.
At his head.
And basically I put it against his.
His.
Or his forehead.
Head.
And go.
You join us.
Or die.
What like our crew?
He's like.
He joins our crew.
Or he dies.
He's going to have a probationary period.
At least.
Right?
Yes.
Of course.
He's got to pay dues.
Actually.
Twice dues.
He's got to pay double dues.
And week of hazing.
And he's got to sleep outside.
We're not letting him in the junk floor.
Let's let him make his decision first.
I'm just saying.
There's going to be some stipulations.
Let's make.
Let him make his blackmail decision first.
Yes.
I mean.
What.
What would I.
Even.
Do.
On your.
Ship.
Vote.
Wob the deck.
The poop deck.
We'll do whatever we tell you to do.
I'm going to need someone to try to convince him to do this.
I'm going to sway.
You're going to sway him.
I'm going to give you plus one.
Because you have a gun to his head.
And then.
If anyone else wants to join in.
And add into that.
You can add.
I have.
I have no skill and sway.
You can just push him and take one.
You take one stress.
And you would give Andy.
A squish an extra.
An extra roll.
Or an extra die.
I would like to.
I'm just.
Just trying to think of.
Narratively.
How I would even help.
With that.
Just be like.
He'll do it.
Okay.
He will pull that trigger.
I tried to stop him.
He doesn't always listen to me.
Yeah.
It's 50-50 bud.
Like.
As I'm sitting there.
With the gun.
Like.
My eyes.
Like.
They glow brighter red.
He's got that look in his eyes.
And he's.
He's not.
He has not been one to punch nuts.
No.
Nope.
He just blows them straight off.
All right.
Chuckles.
Go ahead.
Take one stress.
Squish.
You're going to get.
Your.
Dway.
Plus one for the gun.
Plus one for.
Chuckles.
Assistance.
On that.
All right.
I'll.
I'll join your crew.
I don't want to work for Baz anymore anyway.
Great.
We got an intern.
Well.
That was.
That was pretty easy.
Now.
Chuckles.
Fix him where I shot him earlier.
What?
Like.
Please.
Punch his nuts?
No.
Don't punch his nuts.
No.
He definitely.
He.
He definitely got me in the gut.
And.
I'm not going to die right now.
But I probably should get a little.
You know.
Patching up.
Well.
I feel like that's a loophole.
Like.
If you just died.
I'd be okay with that.
I just didn't want.
Juckles to shoot you in the head.
Not Juckles.
I mean.
I'm sorry.
I just didn't want Squish to shoot you straight in the head.
I also didn't want Juckles to do it.
You'd rather.
You just wanted to prolong and suffer it.
And I'm the bad guy.
I guess there's a philosophical.
I didn't realize.
Like.
My.
My intestinal track is definitely.
Like.
Bleeding into my blood.
And.
It's going to.
I'm going to have poop blood.
You'd rather have that for me.
Than just fix me up.
And let me be your cabin boy.
No.
I mean.
Really.
Because.
Honestly.
Our.
Our bathroom.
Is somewhat of a public bathroom.
And.
This poop blood.
That you're talking about.
I prefer that.
To be.
Private.
All right.
I'll fix you.
I'll fix you up.
Or.
Or we can take him to.
Our doctor.
Oh yeah.
That's right.
We got a doctor too.
No.
Let me.
No.
I just learned.
I'm sorry.
I'm a new doctor.
I want to.
I'm really excited to practice medicine.
Give me.
Give me them intestines.
Can you please die for me?
So you.
If I get this right.
Your Physicker one.
Basically.
You tinker.
Plus one.
To heal him.
Really?
Is that.
Is that right?
You can tinker with blood.
Yes.
I just don't know about the plus one.
Everyone in your crew gets.
Plus one die.
To their healing treatment rolls.
Yeah.
We took that crew upgrade.
Oh wow.
All right.
You're able to bandage him up.
Quite a bit.
He's stable.
And he's walking on his two feet.
But.
He's not.
He's not like going to be the fastest.
Or the strongest.
If you want him to come with you.
No.
That's going to be.
That's going to be Juggles.
He's the fastest.
And the strongest.
Yeah.
It's going to be Juggles.
What?
The fastest.
And the strongest.
I'll let him away.
Should I stay.
Should I stay here?
Or should I.
Yeah.
You know.
Should I go with you?
No.
Actually.
Go get us some coffee first.
Intern.
All right.
And yeah.
He's a coffee.
Go rest at the garbage.
This is.
Wait.
No.
He can't know where the garbage is yet.
He's on our team.
Yeah.
But I.
I don't trust him yet.
Just yet.
So where.
Where do you want him to rest?
We don't even know where the garbage is.
We jumped off.
And it just.
Takes off.
All right.
We really ought to buy an anchor.
Yeah.
Anchor.
And I tied it to a tree.
The.
The last anchor we had.
We used it as a stepping stone.
For someone to jump on.
That was a garbage can lid.
That was our buoy.
I.
I used something way more responsible this time.
Suitcase.
Oh.
Well.
I'm just saying.
Maybe he should just follow us.
Wait.
Can he follow us?
Follow me.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
Let's just have him follow us.
Until he proves himself.
And we can show him where the garbage is.
He's going to burn it down.
That's the only thing I'm afraid of.
I know he said he doesn't want to work for Baz anymore.
I'm.
I think maybe that was just because we threatened his life.
Well.
We'll leave Didi on the ship.
And Didi won't let him burn it down.
That's true.
Didi will eat his lunch.
Didi's very fond.
Then we won't have Didi though.
Yeah.
But we also have a monkey.
Well.
We also have a.
A butler.
And a.
A fire demon.
And an explosive demon.
All right.
Yeah.
We've tested what you guys want to do.
But if he.
If he burns the garbage down.
I'm just.
That's.
I told us though.
He burns the garbage down.
We're getting rid of his help.
I fucking told us though.
If they.
If they burn my ship down.
I'll burn this whole city down.
I am not done exploding things.
I mean.
Not by yet.
Not by far.
I mean.
That doesn't benefit me either.
I live here.
You just tried.
To burn the city down.
I will.
You know.
It burns great as wood.
This whole city's been wood.
Yeah.
And we can use him.
Okay.
To get information about Baz.
Yeah.
So.
Didi leads.
Tawny away.
And the three of you.
Continue down the street.
Tawny.
You better have some cigarettes for her.
What for?
She likes to smoke.
What else would cigarettes be good for?
I'm now a grin.
You're worried about me burning it down.
She's responsible.
She knows the.
She knows the butts go in the.
The poop hole.
Tawny well.
Alright.
Sewer cast.
The whole thing just explodes.
Alright.
Well.
Seems like a good place to take a break.
Well.
Seems like a good place to take a break.
Thank you.