Hail the Jump Force Boys, in the night they roam.
Sousing wolves with fire and cruel.
With a clash and a crash and a twist of fate,
explosions mark the hours never late.
Alright, let me read this newspaper, get y'all guys caught up.
Uh, the nautical newsletter.
Where did you find Eakin Paper?
Carnage with Carnage at Sea.
Ticharos ahoy.
Uh, the team gathered on the deck at the Kahuna Wave to hear the real Captain's Grand Plan.
Captain Fitzclide gave each crew a task.
Chuckles became Master Armor.
Squish was Head Chef and Patches is the lead cleaner.
Uh, Fitzclide and Patches had a heart-to-heart where Patches was given permission to steer the ship.
The Grand Plan was finally revealed.
Travel to Ticharos and start over as a new crew of pirates.
Before they could get underway, they were assaulted by a welcoming party from Captain Donald Carnage.
His crew of merry men raided the wave but were quickly fought out by Squish.
shooting from the crow's nest.
Chuckles tried his hand in a duel but was quickly tackled over.
Ever fearless, Patches hid behind the wheel.
Uh, finally Fitzclide revealed his ghost power, sending the marauding crew back to their own ship.
But the gang pulled a reverse Suno card and jumped aboard the ship.
Filling their pockets with tobacco and cannonballs, they severely crippled the Carnage crew.
Back on their own ship, the crew decided to head to the last rod.
Find a map for Ticharos.
That sounds like a pretty solid plan.
I'm not sure what I'm remembering from our session and what I'm remembering from the first episode of Our Flag Means Death.
Uh, because I also watched that, like, the next day.
And I think there was something that, there was like a, a very similar situation that happened.
Was there a character named Sandy Onions?
No.
I don't know.
I think that one was us.
I don't think you've ever seen that.
How about Don Carnage?
Don Carnage!
Don't know.
Don Carnage is a character from DuckTales.
Ooh.
Oh.
Maybe Dale Spinn?
It's also a character from, oh nice.
Right?
Wait, which one is Juckles?
Let me tell you what my prompt was.
So I used Meta AI for this.
And my prompt was a red demon, a gray pirate, and a little dirt man all in a boat.
Little dirt man?
And I gotta say, like, the, the options it gave me were pretty good.
I quite liked this one because it kind of looks, it kind of looks like your image on the front page in the lobby.
With like the glassy eyes.
Yeah.
It doesn't look dissimilar.
No.
I'm less old though.
Yeah.
No.
It's, it's an age photo.
It's, it's, uh, you know, caricature.
Demons and pirates don't age.
Don't you know that?
Yeah.
I wonder what, what, I wonder if, if Charlie Day would have showed up if you had plugged it in.
You know, I've tried it and it really got confused, but I was surprised how well this did.
Uh, AI's gotten even better last, last time I really used it.
So.
Last three weeks.
Don't let the AI know.
I always had real trouble getting it to do demons and stuff.
Oh, yeah.
Well, uh, I, I was really impressed with what it was able to spit out for me.
Anyway.
So we're on a dinging.
Yeah.
Well, you're on the ship.
You're, uh, you're, you are on a bigger ship.
Uh, you guys are on the Kahuna wave.
You are setting sail for, uh, the last hurrah.
Uh, if you guys remember that, or if you don't remember that, that is a island, uh, south of Ticharos.
And it's full of demons.
It's kind of like a demon vacation spot, but it's also welcome to humans.
If they like, you know, want to stay for dinner.
Say ass dinner.
Ass.
Dinner.
Ass.
All right.
Uh, so you have, hold on.
I still spelled that.
I'll open that up.
All right.
Are we still at the Kahuna wave?
I can't imagine this is like GPS.
No, you are, you are at the Kahuna wave.
Uh, you guys are going to have to roll to travel to the last hurrah.
So it's somewhere you guys have been.
So it's not going to be like, you know, you have to survive this trip, but, uh, depending on how well you roll will depend on how, like, how easy it is to get there.
So who wants to go first?
I mean, I'll roll.
I guess.
I'll roll anything.
Yeah.
Well, you were.
So who patches?
You're steering the ship, right?
I think so.
Where, where, where we left off?
Are we continuing right where we left off?
Are we, is there a bit any time past?
Yeah.
I mean, you guys, so you guys, uh, finished off the, uh, the iron vulture or whatever I called it.
The lead vulture.
Turkey, lead turkey, maybe.
Anyway, you finish off the other ship.
They're, you know, skedaddling away.
You have your own ship.
There are, uh, I should remind you two holes in the deck, um, where I believe it was patches tried to throw a cannonball and missed.
He couldn't have missed twice though.
No.
Well, he had three cannonballs the third time he got them.
So he did miss twice.
Yes.
So you guys are a little at a disadvantage.
You do have two holes, uh, on your deck.
Not enough to sink the ship, but definitely, uh, pretty, pretty important.
Definitely a walking hazard.
Definitely a trip hazard.
Uh, or, or, or I just made two new poop holes.
That's an awfully small poop hole.
That's going to take aiming.
How big, how big is your butt?
I mean, I would like to take the guesswork out of it.
So just make the hole really big.
You just want a huge hole?
Yeah.
Okay.
My solution is why don't I throw more cannonballs until I fill in that hole?
I think you're just going to cause more damage.
I gotta be out.
Okay.
Well, I'm just going to go back to cleaning in my corner over here with my broom and my stuff.
You were assigned tasks.
So squish has food supply, uh, making sure that stays up.
Yours is like a descending clock.
So the longer you're at sea without filling up, it's going to get filled.
Uh, chuckles.
Yours is the opposite.
You're an armory, uh, which is what the captain gave you as a role, as a role.
Uh, you gotta make sure.
It means that currently you guys don't have any weapons.
The only weapons you had were three cannonballs and you used all three.
We did.
We stole a cannon.
Who helped them to make a hole in my deck, by the way?
We did steal a very old cannon.
Yeah, we stole a very old cannon.
You also stole an old cannon.
You're right.
So let me go ahead.
It's an antique.
What's fair is fair.
Right.
So here.
You do get one.
We don't have anything to shrink out of it, but we got a cannon.
Right.
And then Patches, you had two.
You are in charge of keeping things clean.
And, uh, you are in charge of actually, uh, finding us to teach your response once we find
a map.
You got it, dude.
So who's going to fix the hole in me, ship?
Um, well, I guess that's Juckle's work.
Juckle's work.
All right.
Well, get at us.
All right.
You, Patches, start steering us out of here.
Who?
Patches.
Oh, I thought you called me britches.
Oh, yeah.
I'm on it.
I thought he called you peaches.
I thought his name was Crandall.
Uh, yeah.
So, Chuckles, you want to tinker and see how well you can, uh, fix this hole?
Yeah.
I want to take just some driftwood and start, like, piling it in there with nails.
Do we have nails?
Yeah.
I think you probably have nails.
I feel like we should have nails.
Uh, you, if you don't have nails here, you're going to take it from the board over there.
I was going to say, you're probably taking it from the other boards.
All right.
Sure.
And I will, I can roll that?
Yeah.
I roll for, roll for, I guess, tinker or, yeah.
Or wreck.
Wreck this boat.
Fire.
Failure.
I don't get anything from rolling the same number three times.
Oh.
You get a failure.
Hold on.
My foundry just crashed.
The hole is now bigger.
I got good news and I got bad news.
It's the same.
The hole is now bigger.
Yes.
I imagine it's now just one large hole.
It was two separate holes and you now have combined the holes.
That's a mighty fine poop shoot, lad.
Now we're talking.
What is right below the poop hole?
The new poop hole?
The poop destination.
Yeah.
Not where we waffle it.
Yeah.
You're great.
I repeat.
We do not waffle.
Let's take a look.
Oh, God.
Did that load for anyone?
Yeah.
I don't know.
We can see it.
Oh, good.
It's just me.
Great.
My foundry is just crashing.
Hold on.
I feel like you're about to learn us something and I'm very scared.
Turns out the poop hole is above the galley.
Yeah.
I really hope it's a spot above the kitchen.
It turns out it's above the cabin boy.
The cabin boy's lodge, which is just my bathroom.
Which is the bathroom.
So I feel like that's exactly where it should go.
I have to have.
You have to take the other bathroom.
I have to take a tubing system.
Intricate system of tubes.
Of levels.
All right.
Levels.
All right.
Levels, Jerry.
I'm sorry about this.
For some reason, I can't get Audrey to load.
Hold on.
We're getting the backup computer.
What's the backup computer?
My work computer.
Surprise.
She's been shopping.
Oh, she can still hear us even though she walked away.
No, I can't.
Yeah.
It's funny how that works.
I don't like that.
I can hear you the whole time.
Oh.
No, I'm okay.
It's quite frustrating.
I've never had this happen before.
Yeah.
Look at all this.
It's my first time.
I've had that happen before.
All right.
I'm going to close this door.
Speaking of shitting the bed.
Oh, shit the bed.
He's going to poop.
Nobody.
Fast one.
What?
It was a fart kung fu.
I know kung fu.
Okay.
Perfect.
So you guys hit the very front of the ship when you were trying to throw it at the cabin,
I believe, or throw it at the other ship.
Okay.
Yeah, we guys.
Stands to reason.
So you actually dropped it.
If you look at the lower deck, you dropped it right onto where you guys sleep.
I thought we weren't allowed over there.
So these are the quarter, the quarter.
No, you're not allowed in the back.
That's where the captain is.
So we're in those hammocks.
Yeah.
I feel like I'm the only one that sleeps there because...
I sleep in the kitchen.
Yeah.
And the other one, the great captain, he sleeps in the bathroom.
So I guess you got a sunroof now.
Nice.
Also an executive bathroom.
Executive poop.
Are you going to poop in your own bedroom?
You're literally the only one who sleeps there.
Fair enough.
I thought you said there's a hole in there now.
There is.
Yeah.
We're only going to one level.
It doesn't go anywhere else.
It just goes right...
Yeah, it just went down one level.
So we do have the cannonball still.
You know what?
You do have the cannonball still.
Congratulations.
You have to be able to get the cannonball.
Yeah, it's in me bedroom.
I'll move it.
I got to use the facilities.
No, you go to the latrine.
I've got a chance to keep this place clean or else I'm not going to get good grades.
I don't see how that affects me.
Or your grades.
Or my grades.
I didn't know you were in school.
Let's go for hard knocks.
No.
The earth is my school.
All right.
So yes, you've now made a sunroof in your bedroom.
Sunroof or moonroof?
I don't know what the difference is, but...
Depends on what time of day.
Good answer.
All right.
We should probably go to last hurrah.
Yeah.
All right.
Patches.
You roll for success.
Roll what for success?
Well, you're steering the ship.
Just roll success, whatever it is.
You're steering the ship.
Wreck.
No.
Deception.
All right.
What do you want me to roll?
Well, what do you think would, like, study...
Getting to the...
Getting to last hurrah.
Command.
Yeah.
I mean, you're commanding a vessel.
Okay.
I thought command was more for ghosts, but I'll do that.
Yeah.
It is, but I'll allow it if you can make a good argument.
Nope.
Just rolling.
All right.
Sounds like you are right.
I'm commanding the ship forward.
Let's go!
To critical success.
I'm critically driving us in the right direction.
You guys start out, and you're going strong.
Easy sailing.
No major wins.
No other pirates.
It's kind of empty out there on the sea.
It does take you a few days to get last hurrah, so you are going to roll again.
But meanwhile, while you're on the ship, what are you guys doing?
I want to fish.
You want to fish?
All right.
Go ahead and fish.
I assume hunt.
Yeah.
Are you, like, fishing with a pole or with, like, a spear?
I was thinking of a pole, but I wasn't really sure if we had one.
Yeah.
So tell me about fishing with that pole.
I just go off the side of it, and I sit there on the side, but I tie myself into it
because I really don't want to fall in.
Okay.
And then I throw it out there, and I use a little bit of whatever supplies we have,
you know, the rutabaga to catch fish.
I mean, nails?
No, I don't use the nails.
We lost all those down the poop hole.
So out of character.
Someone's trying to fix it.
It's not a poop hole.
It's just a hole to the quarters.
My bedroom.
You can put a pole in there so you can slide down.
That sounds amazing.
I imagine no.
I don't want you guys in my bedroom.
I don't want it to be easier for you guys to come down there.
I imagine some of your driftwood is just, like, hanging, like, a pole now, and you can
slide down it.
I'm gonna fix it.
But now you're just monkeying up it like, like, Dee Dee.
Oh, yeah.
What's she doing in all this?
Oh, Dee Dee has absolutely been loving the ropes.
It kind of reminds her of, like, the forest she grew up in.
Oh, okay.
Not to do that about her childhood, which she finds offensive.
But, uh, so she's made, like, a little rigging up there.
And you know how, like, in Tarzan, they take the banana leaves, and they, like, spread them out
and, like, make a little mess for them at night.
She just does that with random things she finds.
Uh, so there's just, like, old dirty carpet, uh, you know, burlap sacks.
She's made herself a little, like, trash-ness.
Oh, that's adorable.
I'm a crow.
Aren't you her familiar, Andy?
Yes.
No, she's not familiar.
Owner?
Owner.
No, you're her familiar.
I think it's the other way around.
You're her familiar?
You serve her?
No, she'd be my familiar.
Oh, I thought that's what he said.
Oh, I thought he said I was her familiar.
That's what he said.
Oh, okay.
All right.
All right, so anyway, out of character.
Oh, yeah, out of character.
Uh, you're talking about catching, uh, fish with rutabaga.
When we were on vacation, uh, we saw someone catch this giant catfish.
I'm not kidding.
It was the size of a snobler.
The thing was massive.
And he said he caught it with the head of another fish.
Fish head.
Well, I'll have to...
Rolly, rolly fish head.
I'll have to use that, uh, after I catch this first fish.
Yeah, so you successfully caught a fish.
You got to catch fish to catch fish.
You successfully caught a fish.
What did you catch?
Um, I...
I don't want to say tuna, but like, uh, an orange ruffy.
All right.
Is that another word for tuna?
No, it's a different type of fish.
Okay.
Thank you.
Continue.
It's a real...
It doesn't go bluefin, yellowfin, orange ruffy.
It's a real tough looking fish.
Yeah.
You know what?
Changing it to monkfish.
Caught a monkfish.
You can't eat that.
Yes, you can.
Oh.
It's the lobster of...
It's the poor man's lobster.
I was going to say it's the lobster of the sea.
And then I realized what I was saying.
I was bluffing.
Uh, the captain sees you, uh, you know, tie yourself to the side of the ship.
He sees you out there with your spear and catching it.
You know, old man in the sea style.
And he's, uh, kind of calls out to you.
He goes, impressive job, lad.
Thank you.
We can't eat the head.
You can't?
You cannot.
What's wrong with the head?
Oh, one, it's really ugly.
Uh, two, I'm going to use it as bait to catch a bigger fish.
Ah, that's how they do it up in Michigami.
I'm going to have to take your word on that.
You've never been?
No.
Where is it?
Is it by the teacher-os?
Well, you know, it's one of the southern dagger aisles.
You really never looked at a map, have you?
Um, I don't know if I know how to read a map.
I knew it.
Fair enough.
I knew you were illiterate.
You were lying to me.
No, no, no.
No, I didn't say illiterate.
I said I don't know how to read a map.
That's a type of illiterate.
He is true.
Map, map, uh, map knowledge is very important.
I was going to throw out the fancy word for map reading.
I can't remember what it is.
Cartography.
Thank you, boys.
Cartography is a very important skill.
That's why I'm not driving the ship.
And, but you're keeping us fed.
I mean, look at that thing.
It's as ugly as hell.
It reminds me of a picture.
Oh my God.
I just saw a picture.
It's really ugly.
That thing is more mouth than fish, to be honest.
Yeah.
That's why they stuff out.
Cut its head off.
Use it as bait.
Knife goes in.
Guts come out.
Wait, hold on.
Well, well, good job.
Nevertheless.
All right.
Patches.
Uh, what are you up to?
But when you're not steering the ship, because you can't steer it 20%.
No, no.
What I, if you go to the way I was steering it, I've left a like little contraption where
it's like with a stick and some rope where it's like holding the ship's wheel in place.
And I'm currently in the bath, in my bathroom downstairs.
Um, I'm talking erratically to, uh, Neelix right now.
I feel like someone who loves driving, you do spend an awful lot of time avoiding it.
I'm trying to, I, I, I, it's on autopilot.
What do you know?
You don't know how to autopilot.
Autopilot is an art.
Once you become so good at captaining, you can eventually learn to autopilot.
Did you learn that from your book?
Uh, no.
You're not in here right now.
Neelix!
Sorry, sir.
It's just, it's been awfully hot in that bottle.
I know, I know, I know.
I need, I need your help.
We need to, we need to keep the captain from finding out that I have you.
Um, but also he's making me do a lot of work.
Well, you do want to be captain of your own ships one day, don't you, sir?
I wanted to be captain of this ship someday.
He wasn't supposed to be here.
I mean, ships are very hard work, sir.
This is probably actually a very good practice for you.
Practice?
No.
Listen, we need to get out of here.
We need to get the, we need to get back to land.
Land, sir?
Yes, land.
And what do you plan to do once you're on land?
Uh, get a ship and a new crew, and a whole new crew, and, uh, not replace the guys.
I'll probably take the guys with me, but we can't trust this captain.
I don't think we can trust this guy.
And why is that, sir?
I don't, you know what he's like.
I do.
I was his butler for some time, and I have been in this bottle for even longer than you
can imagine, but, uh, I have to say, so far the only person that's mutineered is you, sir.
I needed the ship to get back to land back then.
Well, I'll keep my eyes open, sir, but, but I have one request.
What is it, Neelix?
What is it?
And I'm, like, looking through my book, trying to figure out how to pirate this ship right
in the right direction.
When you put me back in the bottle, can you leave the cork just a little askew?
It gets dreadfully hot in there.
Only if you stay in there.
We can't let him, we can't risk him finding out that I got you in here, okay?
I'll be in very big trouble.
We got to get back, we got to, we got to get out, we got to get the ship and get back
to land.
If you say so, so, it goes back into the bottle, but, uh, you do, when you put the cork in there,
you do kind of just, like, pop it off to the side a little bit.
Just askew.
Just a little bit.
Just askew.
All right.
Uh, Chuckles, are you doing anything while you're, while you're traveling?
Uh, I'm still working on those holes.
It's unclear whether or not I'm making it any better or much worse.
But now I am fixated on these holes.
Uh, so the captain, uh, sees, Captain Fitzpatrick, sorry, the real captain, he sees you working
on the holes.
Yeah.
Sometimes he comes up behind you and he kind of, it's kind of watching you work, but eventually
he goes, you know, carpentry is something that is a skill, as some say.
They say some people are born to work with wood and some people we'd rather wouldn't.
I don't get it.
Well, that's neither here nor there.
Uh, say, um, when you're finished fixing those holes, and by the way, you do have to fix those
holes.
I can't, we cannot go into part like this.
All the other.
I don't know if you said you'd rather I wouldn't.
Well, if you're going to continue to work on it, uh, I don't want to discourage you, but
I do, I do have a project actually I need your help with.
Okay.
How good are you with general create, you know, can you make a pair of speakers?
Um, yes, I've done it before.
And by God, I'll do it.
Have you?
Well, I mean, I need a walkie talkie.
A walkie talkie?
You've made a walkie talkie.
Yeah.
That's candy.
Two of them.
Do you still have them?
Um, unclear.
Yes, probably.
I think you guys still, still do.
Out of care.
Do you still have your walkie talkie?
Um, does it?
Yeah.
Load out.
Yeah.
I don't know if it's in here.
Oh, wow.
I forgot about this interest I used to have.
Becoming a vampire for dum-dums.
That's a book I have in my possession.
Yeah.
Bridget was just talking about that earlier today.
Yeah.
How you brought it up once and then it never happened.
I set up a whole season of stuff for him to do that and he never did any of it.
Wow.
Instead, he got really into onions.
The arch nemesis of vampires.
Honestly, not far off.
Well, if you can, I'd like to pair speakers made for the ship.
And the idea is, is that, you know, we could play music or other uplifting things, you know, while we're traveling.
It's a lot of time.
Van Halen.
And other yacht rock.
Like Van Halen.
Never heard of them, but I'm sure they're great.
They're butt rock.
Yes.
So, all right.
All right.
You want me to rig this thing out for music?
Yeah.
For music.
I mean, you know, we'll need a microphone or something probably located over the wheel, you know, to give an announcement.
Some way to hook up, you know, music and things like that.
You know, just make it really loud.
Really add bumps and bring in the attitude, as some people would say.
You're right.
Screw these holes.
Speakers it is.
Excellent.
Can you put a speaker in the hole?
No, we're not talking about the holes anymore.
Just ignore them.
Throw a rug over it.
No one will notice.
When you get up to kind of, like, walk away from the hole, the captain does kind of, like, snap his fingers and two ghost carpenters show up.
But they do carry, like, real wood and they actually start repairing the ship behind you as he snapings you.
I think speakers, a microphone at the very least, something to really, you know, I think it will really prepare you.
All right.
Yeah, let's do that.
I think it would build our team.
It would build our team.
Yes.
It really would build our team.
And he starts laughing.
Okay.
All right.
Perfect.
So you have a new project to work on.
Hold on.
Let me make this.
I didn't actually make this.
Silly me.
I'm going to say these speakers are, like, a level four difficulty.
I forgot you guys made the walkie-talkies.
We'll make it great.
All right.
Perfect.
That down here.
Off to the side.
There you go.
I think I could assign this to you.
All right.
And then you want me to roll Tinker, hopefully?
Yes.
You can roll Tinker.
That's just to get parts.
Like, I'm sure you don't have the parts on hand or anything, but definitely roll once.
Just to see, like, I think you're going to kind of, like, scoop out the area.
Decide, you know, what you need.
Use your knowledge.
Because you are going into port.
So you probably can buy some parts there.
But go ahead and roll for Tinker.
Success.
I do it.
Perfect.
You've tinkered your way into the knowledge.
You understand how to make some speakers.
You've got a good idea in your head.
You've got some plans.
You've got the parts list.
You know exactly what you'll need to do.
All right.
Perfect.
All right.
Who wants to roll?
So, Brandon, you rolled around last time.
Someone else rolled for traveling to Titoros.
Or no, last round.
Does anyone want to do it?
I mean, what would it be?
Let's see.
I mean, I can just roll an action roll.
It'd be kind of like, I don't know.
I'd kind of, it's a free-for-all.
If you want to hunt, say you're, like, scoping out the landscape.
Chuckles.
I don't know.
Or I'll wreck your way into shore.
Oh, no, I'm swinging around on the sails.
Because I've really gotten into, like, knot tying, but also ropes.
And I've been seeing Dee Dee just sort of swinging around, having a good time.
And we're roughly the same size.
And I just started doing what she was doing.
You know what they say, monkey see, monkey do.
And that must help.
Yeah.
What?
It has to help.
What do you mean with what?
It has to help with what?
Navigation.
Speed.
Agility.
So, yeah, you want to roll your finesse so you're proud.
See how well you have some fun up in the ropes.
No, this is not fun.
I mean, it's also fun.
Oh, okay.
But it's mostly work.
Sometimes work is fun.
I am not enjoying myself right now.
Let me make that clear.
Very clear.
This is all business all the time.
And so it's finesse?
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, that's not a lot of dice.
Ouch.
You suck.
As you're, like, swinging through the ropes, you kind of get overconfident, and the ropes
are kind of wet, and I imagine that you just fall through the deck in the hole that you've
created.
Now I'm stuck halfway through, like Winnie the Pooh.
Yeah.
Well, that's not good.
Yeah.
So the captain is going underneath, and he's, like, with a broom trying to push you back up.
I swear, son.
With what end?
The broom side.
Okay.
I swear, son.
Sometimes you're more trouble than you're worth.
Well, someday I'll get it.
All right.
Squish, give it a shot.
Okay.
I'm rewarding no points for your failure.
No.
Perfect.
We're having success.
All right.
So for that, I just, can it just be like, I'm in the crow's nest telling patches which
way to, like, turn?
Yeah.
Okay.
Boring.
You'd be quiet in your hole down there.
Listen, sometimes you just got to go for it.
It doesn't always work.
Even Babe Ruth struck out.
Yeah.
He struck out more than half of his at-bats.
That's probably not true.
But then he made a great, uh, well, not a great candy bar.
Actually, it's terrible.
He really struck out on that one, too.
Huh.
It really stuck.
See?
I think with that one.
All right.
Well, uh, it's towards the end of, like, the second or third day that you're out there.
And, uh, finally, uh, the captain points and he goes, that's it, boys.
Last hurrah.
You got her into shore safely.
Now it's your biggest, uh, your biggest trick.
Can you dock her safely?
Yes.
Hello.
Patches, uh, you feeling confident behind that wheel?
Can you go to it?
Uh, yes, as I kick the stick away that I've been holding.
I've been feeling, I've been doing great this whole time, right?
You know?
Yes.
I definitely haven't been correcting us in the, as we, as we, uh, float, uh, as we navigate.
I haven't been out back here making small, but necessary corrections to avoid great danger.
But you're telling me you didn't trust me?
Yar, how dare you?
I thought we followed the captain's code of, you know, let one of us captain and only one of us.
Yar, I believe we are.
Yeah, but can you parallel, Doc?
It's very awkward.
Can you parallel, Doc?
I can parallel, Doc.
You just watch.
All right.
This one's going to be, uh, a finesse roll.
Because you do, you do need to, to finesse it in.
I don't, I feel like Patches is not a good finesser.
Turns out.
Turns out I should not have taken that pre, pre-parallel docking, uh, drink.
As everyone does when they, before they parallel park.
I don't know if it, I don't know if it's, you had too much or not enough.
Right.
That's a good point.
We're going to find, we're going to find out as I hit the floor.
So as you're, uh, parallel docking, uh, as you parallel dock, uh, everyone starts looking
at you because you are, like, doing one of these.
Like, you're not hitting the boat, but you are, like, having to, like, do, like, 15 turns
to get into your spot.
You just keep going forward and back and forward and back and forward and back and forward and
back.
Well, you guys get the picture.
Did I hit anything?
No, you didn't hit anything.
I'm done.
But we do look like real ants.
Okay.
Well, maybe I should hit something.
Can I roll for that?
Go ahead.
Roll for wreck.
I'm rolling for wreck.
There's no way this is going to require.
Partial success.
I just imagine I'm like, there's like the episode of Seinfeld where Kramer's parallel
parking and he's just hitting cars both in front of him back and forth, back and forth.
That's what I'm doing.
I'm just hitting the boats.
Very well.
You've made your point.
Now, before we go to shore, does everybody know what they need?
Does everybody know what they're doing?
I need a stiff drink.
Onions.
You need a stiff drink.
Onions.
I think we need a map.
Thank you, Squish.
Thank you for paying attention.
I have my doubts about some of you on this boat.
I don't want to say who I have those doubts about, but I will tell you, it's not Squish.
Oh, teacher's pet.
Teacher's pet.
You got a little brown on your nose.
I never, I don't know.
He says this, ignoring you.
I don't know if you've been to last hurrah before, but there are some things you might need to know.
The food disappears when you leave.
Mm-hmm.
They like to eat humans.
Very good.
And a lot of the women up there are very sexy.
Also very true.
Some of the men as well.
A lot of the men, actually.
Let's be fair here.
I know, I know this ship, DDSI, you know, is a little bit of a citrus, but whichever way you eat them.
I don't see gender.
Good for you.
No sandwich.
All right.
So, map.
And are you all going to go and get the map, or are you going to separate?
Like, what's the...
I don't...
I can't leave the ship.
Somebody needs to stay here and deal with the port authority.
I don't think I should go...
Let's all go get the map together.
We need something.
I don't know how to read a map, so...
I don't either.
I need speaker supplies, which is what I wanted the onions for.
Captain.
Well, egg on my face, I suppose.
No.
Thank you.
All right.
Well, let's promise to meet back here in, let's say, a few hours.
And let's get out of here before night.
I don't really want to spend any time.
Everyone remember where we parked.
All right.
And you three leave the dock and head out to Last Hurrah.
And I think it's a good time to take a break.
And think about what we've done and what we're going to do.
Think about yourselves.
Think about it.
Time for a moment of reflection.
Okay.
Perfect.
Yeah.
So, as you guys walk down the market streets, it is bright and colorful.
There is music everywhere.
It's very much like an open, active marketplace.
It is 100% full of demons.
Full of, like, demons that have, like, really solid shapes, like squish.
Then there are ones that seem to, like, shift and be kind of amorphous as they walk.
So, sometimes they look like a black shape.
And then sometimes they, like, shimmer and move into something else.
There are tons of stalls.
There are stalls with everything you want.
There are food market stalls.
There are, like, provisional stalls.
There are stalls for anything and everything that you guys want.
There are restaurants here as well for an option.
But you guys have free roam of the Last Hurrah Marketplace.
Do we have any money?
You do.
You have the money that's on you.
Oh, so we have some coin.
Yes.
You have whatever coin you have on you.
You did not ask the captain for any coin when you left.
That was a mistake.
We were too busy trying to be friends again.
Which I am skeptical of.
With what?
I feel like you have to earn my trust again.
And I've been demonstrating that through my facial features or gestures.
I'll win you over.
I'll steal your heart.
Right when you're least expected.
Right when you want to blow up something the most.
I'll be there to encourage you.
And you'll love it.
The next time you want to punch someone in the balls, he'll coach you.
I'll be there.
Is this market, are there any markets like those electronics markets in China where it's just like bins full of like, I don't know, supplies?
I mean, I guess it's not electronics because we don't have electronics in this universe.
But other tinkering toys?
Yes.
One of the stalls you see at the very end is just got like these large boxes and it's just piled high with like miscellaneous detritus.
But you recognize that this miscellaneous detritus is useful miscellaneous detritus.
And it does look like it's some wires and cathodes and tubes and etc.
lasers.
Yeah, I'm going to go.
I'm going to go to glass.
I'm going to fast walk over there.
Okay.
Are you two guys going with him?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm chasing after.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Let's go to keep together.
This place looks quite unsavory.
Yarr.
Don't you see that?
It's a trance over there.
It's useful.
Twitch starts following, but then gets distracted and just lets them run away.
Right.
So we'll take.
Food, women.
You don't have to know.
Alcohol.
Doesn't matter.
You can't see.
You're not here right now.
You're fast walking away.
He is right.
You did walk away.
Fast walked.
I'm sorry.
So you pull up to one of these carts and at the center of it is this guy.
Oh, dear.
Oh, my.
He is organized.
He's at the shop.
He is kind of the, you know, the shopkeeper.
He sees you guys coming and he points to his various bins of detritus, useful detritus.
And he goes, see anything you like?
You remind me of somebody I used to know.
That I bailed on.
That believed in me.
And I left him.
That's awfully personal for someone you just met.
But we don't offer discounts.
We don't offer friendly friends in discounts or people who used to remind me of discounts.
Everything full price.
Yeah.
You just.
Your appearance is awfully striking that I had to comment on it.
Yeah.
I have a need for many parts and other useful detritus.
Specifically speaker detritus.
But before that, do you have any.
Do you offer cat food here at your establishment?
Cat food.
Let me see here.
Let me take a look.
Hold on.
I feel like she's actually looking.
Turns out the cat food is actually just cats that they eat for food.
Turns out we have cat food.
Turns out I don't.
I don't have any cat food per se.
But.
And he pulls out a tin of like Alpo dog food.
Dog food?
Gross.
No.
He just tosses the can and it just clatters behind him.
Man.
No cat food then.
You can just think of me.
Oh.
I had to ask.
Yeah.
Maybe some speaker skins.
Speaker boxes.
Speaker lasers.
I'll take whatever you got speaker related.
Two.
Just have speakers.
No.
I need to make these on my own.
It's not about the speakers.
It's about the journey.
What the hell is a speaker?
I don't know if we've got speakers.
But we do have things like speaker cases.
Speaker boxes.
Speaker wires.
That sort of thing.
Oh yeah.
I pull out this drawing that I have in my back pocket.
It's written on the back of.
I don't know.
A wrapper.
How about a page from my book?
It's.
It's a page ripped out straight from the middle of.
Captains for Dummies.
And I've drawn over it.
Crew drawings and crayon.
Of.
It's like what?
Speakers.
It's like the loyalty to your crew page.
Yeah.
Do.
So you've got.
Chuck.
The captain there.
Patches.
Sorry.
With you.
Yeah.
Do.
Do a study to see how good.
These.
These speaker items.
Pieces are.
Are you asking me to do it?
No.
I'm just reminding him that he is with you.
Oh.
Hello.
You looking for anything?
No.
Just perusing.
Uh.
Let me see.
Oh no.
Your study's not particularly high.
Although it might be higher than mine.
No.
We have the same study.
Although I'm not sure how well you'll be able to study my drawings.
Because remember.
I am illiterate.
Also.
Let's not forget.
It's one.
It's a page from my book.
So do you want me to find this out that you ripped a page from my book out?
This was important.
So you.
You see that a lot of the speaker parts are pretty terrible.
Like the wires look like they've been gnawed on upon.
They be.
Everything's just a little bit bent and broken and misaligned.
So not good.
Not good parts.
I'll take it anyway.
Not good.
But I'm not paying full price for these gnawed on wires.
Not paying full price.
What do you mean?
These are.
These are some of the finest wires you're going to find here.
You think this stuff's easy to go by?
Yeah.
Easy to find?
Well no.
It's not.
But you know.
You're not going to get one over on me.
Blue man.
I know what you're up to.
Scamming.
I'm not buying it.
I don't think I could scam you guys or anything.
I'll tell you what.
Two coins for the whole lot.
Two coins?
Two coins.
No.
Captain.
Talk to this man.
He's clearly unreasonable.
Um.
Well.
Alright.
Even though I'm kind of going through a little bit of a midlife crisis and my confidence has
been shaken to my core.
You're how old?
Middle.
Aged.
Okay.
Well.
Take it out on this man.
Like any other person in midlife.
Listen.
Sir.
This wire has been gnawed upon.
It's clear as day.
I demand satisfaction.
Clear as day.
And I whack him on the nose with the wire.
You didn't just do that, did you?
Do what?
This?
And I whack him again.
So what's your end goal here?
To swing him?
He asks both in and out of character.
What's your end goal here?
Uh.
I don't know.
50% off.
Okay.
What the little one said.
Are you trying to boss him into it or convince him into it?
What do you want to roll for that?
I'm a bosser now.
Oh, you're bossy boy?
I'm a bossy boy.
All right, roll your command.
The guy's not at all brought over by you hitting him in the nose with the wire,
but he does take a look at it.
He's like, all right, well, I got to admit, it's not the best wire.
All right, 175 for the whole thing.
I whack him in the nose again.
Listen, if you keep doing that, I'm going to have to remind you again
that this is an island that eats, likes to enjoy the flesh of humans,
and I've got two humans here who look like they could use some flesh.
Have humans working for you here?
No.
He's talking about us.
He wants to eat us.
A hand chuckles the wire and put them in front of me.
Just land.
All right, all right.
Here's 1.75 coin, and I chew off a corner of the coin that I'm going to keep
and hand them three quarters of a coin plus the other coin.
That is brilliant.
All right.
Hopefully I don't choke on it.
We'll just put you down to one coin right now,
and I'll try to remember you have 0.25 of a coin.
Does it?
It doesn't let you do that.
No, each coin is like only one box.
Yeah.
All right.
But you do get the parts for this particular set of nod wires.
You get the parts.
Set of nod wires.
You can go ahead and put that on your person if you'd like.
All right.
You did it, lad.
Good job.
And I try to tussle your hair, but I don't think it goes well.
No, I'm offended.
But you did help me.
I did.
You're starting.
So.
He's starting to build a dark trust.
I'm just saying.
Listen, lad.
He's on the right path.
We can't trust the red captain.
I can't tell you why, but the man's not good.
Wait, are you talking to me?
Yeah.
I feel like I had this real moment to moment.
And like, you're like just staring off into a crowd.
He's staring at the wires like happy.
Awesome.
You look over at me.
I'm gnawing on the wires.
Are you talking to me?
I'm going to fucking die.
Squish.
You said you got distracted.
Was there anything in particular you got distracted by?
Just by a food stall that has, you know, like exotic spices and whatnot.
Awesome.
So when you go.
I can tell it's like one of the higher like scale ones.
It has more than eight.
It has, it's, it has eight spices.
Some of them doubles.
So, so while you're there, you see this, uh, also this exact same looking demon, uh, working
this stall.
And, uh, he sees you and he goes, ah, traveler, you've come from far.
Anything that piques your interest?
You look like a discerning fellow.
All of it.
Some of everything.
Oh.
Yes.
Agree.
Well, as they say, to your heart's content, uh, each spice here is a coin per bag.
Uh, it comes from the farthest off reaches.
Uh, we go as far south as me, as Michigami.
Uh, I don't know if you heard about it.
It's a great place to go.
Uh, and, uh, you know, Doscaval, Lockport, and to the Dagger Isles.
I've never heard of any of these places.
Ah, uh, cartography illiterate.
Yes.
It's a problem that affects many people.
And angry about it.
Is there somewhere where I can learn to read a map?
Probably a school.
I'm a food vendor, though.
I don't know.
You don't know if there's any, like, cartographer stalls around here?
Uh, I think, uh, down three rows and to the left one, there's, there's someone who deals in books and cartography.
I don't go there very often, though.
Okay, and then I just leave to go there.
All right.
When you head to that stall, uh, you see a demon there running the, uh, running the shopkeeper.
And you're noticing all these demons.
This demon looks very similar to the one you saw before.
And as someone you used to know.
He's vaguely familiar.
Uh, and he just, on the shelves, there's just scrolls and scrolls and scrolls of, uh, rolled up maps and all sorts of things.
Uh, books about maps.
Books on how to read maps.
Paper.
Ink.
Hmm.
The use.
Do, do you have a brother that works around here?
No.
Are you sure?
I, I believe I would know my own brother if I saw him.
I don't know.
There's another guy that looks vaguely familiar.
Well, you know, demons come in a variety of colors and shapes.
I suppose two could have be have blue skin and horns.
I mean, you have red skin and horns.
Do you not?
Yes, I think so.
Well, and look, and then he points outside and as you turn around, you see like another red demon with horns walk past.
But he doesn't look like you.
Uh, he definitely is just like a beach guy, you know, like super bulky muscles, little speedo.
No, so I don't, I don't have super bulky muscles is what you're telling me.
Or a speedo.
Oh, I have one of those.
Oh, well.
Um, anyway, uh, brother of good sir, I would like a map to our homeland.
Our homeland.
You, you're speaking of Ticharos, of course.
Yes.
I'm assuming for you, I was born here, so.
Oh, yeah.
No, I mean like our, our motherland.
The ancestral home.
Yes.
Don't have it.
What?
Fresh out.
Don't have one.
Do you know who does?
Nobody has one.
Do you know how to get there?
Well, I do.
Can you tell me?
You're not from Ticharos, are you?
No.
That's why I want to go back there.
Well, not go back there, I want to go there.
You know what they say about Ticharos is you can only find it once you've been there.
Then how, how do you know how to get there?
Someone took me once.
I haven't lived on this island.
I mean, I've been born on this island, but I do travel.
I go places.
I do things.
So can you take me there?
Uh, it's kind of close to visit.
I mean, I suppose you could go there.
You're a demon.
But I mean, it's, it's not very welcoming to visitors.
I don't have any visitors.
People visiting the island, not people visiting you.
Yeah, but I don't, there are none of those.
I'm going by myself.
You're going by yourself.
Yes.
You promise.
Yes.
You're not trying to take anybody else to that island.
No.
Because it would be very bad for them if you took them to that island.
Yeah.
No, no one else is going with me.
So you're going by yourself.
Wait, why would it be bad?
Well, clearly.
I'm curious.
Well, you know, Ticharos demons, you know, you know, this is a cannibal island, of course.
Yes.
Why do you think this is a cannibal island?
Because they're delicious.
Humans are delicious.
You're absolutely right.
They are.
Demons have a natural taste for human flesh.
Hmm.
Human flesh.
So what do they eat there?
Human flesh.
Where do they get it?
Do they raise them like cats?
I don't know how they get it.
It comes in three packaged boxes.
Hmm.
Now I really want to go.
Okay.
Well, I do have a map that's available for you.
I do want to stress, not friendly to visitors, potential cannibalism, bad for humans.
Are you sure you want this?
Yeah.
All right.
I'm a demon.
I want to go.
Ten coin.
Ten?
Ten.
Best I can do is one.
Wow.
What the that is.
Possibly the most boldest haggle I've ever seen you try.
I just like to try it.
Give it a roll.
And that was better than this.
No.
Getting on.
No, that's not going to wait.
All right.
Minus that was two and some monkfish.
Minus its head.
Two and a monk.
Monkfish.
Not a monk.
Monkfish.
Oh, I thought you said a monk.
Well, again, a human flesh thing.
That kind of.
Yeah, but they kind of taste like human.
Monkeys?
No.
Monkfish.
I've heard it's called the lobster of the sea.
It is.
It's also called the human of the land.
Well.
If that's the case.
Roll that sway.
I think you can't have a bonus.
Yeah.
Give yourself.
Yeah.
No, I'm not giving you one.
Not for your failure.
Fair enough.
Yes.
That was close.
All right.
I'll take the monkfish.
And the two coin.
Oh.
Okay.
Deal.
I just have to go get the monkfish.
All right.
You'll get the map when you bring back the monkfish.
And the coin.
Okay.
All right.
Get out the walkie talkie.
Juckles.
What is that?
Is my pants talking again?
Juckles.
There's a walkie talkie.
Yes.
You've had it this whole time.
Huh.
Can I make this into a speaker?
I've heard some.
Did I even need that chewed on wire?
I've heard some really messed up things.
Why did you buy chewed on wire?
That's a long story.
I mean, not that long.
I just did.
On a whim.
Impulse.
Okay.
It'll come in handy, I'm sure.
Okay.
Also, I don't know what a wire is.
Oh, you'll see.
Is it supposed to be?
They're tasty.
I can't be anywhere.
Some cat food.
Okay.
Well, did you call me?
Anyway.
Yes, I digest.
I found a place with a map.
Uh-huh.
A map to where?
Teacher house.
Okay.
Good.
I can't read.
And you can't.
I'm not asking you.
I know.
I can't read maps.
Right.
Okay.
So what?
Do you need money?
No.
I need...
Actually, if you have like .25 of a coin,
bad news on that front.
You're going to have to wait a couple days.
I ate it.
On accident.
Okay.
We'll tackle that later.
Yeah.
I will.
I know.
Can you get the monkfish off the ship for me?
What's that?
You know that really ugly fish that I cut the head off of?
Yes.
That.
Um, where is it?
Check the kitchen.
The galley, you mean?
Yes.
You know where we waffle?
We don't waffle.
Strictly forbidden.
It was rule number one.
We all know you do it.
I don't do it.
You've had the walkie-talkie in your pants this whole time?
Uh-huh.
I've heard the waffling.
You've heard waffling?
What does that even sound like?
It has haunted me.
Waffle, waffle, waffle, waffle, waffle, waffle, waffle.
Mushroom.
All right.
Fine.
I'll go get your stupid monkfish.
Okay.
Thank you.
In exchange.
For 10 coin.
I can do 0.25 in a couple days.
Okay.
Deal.
What a sucker.
All right.
Uh, yeah.
I go, I go back to the ship.
Wait.
Yeah.
The great captain's with me.
Yeah.
I'm following.
I didn't hear.
I started fast walking.
You didn't tell me.
Yeah.
You're not.
You.
Who was that?
Was that?
Was that, was that, was that squish?
I hope so.
Hey, come back.
I need to talk to you.
Come on.
Oh.
That's the sound of me skittering.
I'm scampering.
All right.
Um, as you approach, uh, the ship, you can kind of hear, like, uh, you get up on deck,
uh, but as you go heading into the galley, you kind of hear, uh, some music playing.
Very poorly.
But it's ukulele music.
And it's coming from the captain's quarters.
Yeah.
And it's not well.
Like, it's like.
Oh.
God damn it.
You hear him kind of like mutter under his breath.
But that's coming from his quarters and the door is shut.
And if you remember, the rule is he has an open door policy unless the door is shut.
All right.
So what do you want to do, Juggles?
Um, well, I think I'm supposed to get a monkfish.
But.
You do that.
I am going to go spot on the captain.
I think we need to.
Okay.
I will go get the monkfish.
Eat.
And you go kiss the captain or whatever it is you're going to do.
Bye on him.
God.
With your lips.
So, Patches, you get to the door of the captain's quarters.
It is shut and locked.
Hold on a second.
I'm trying to look through the people.
It's a door.
It's a bedroom door.
There is no people.
And why would the people be going in?
The lock door.
The lock on the door.
Like the little lock.
Oh, the keyhole.
The keyhole.
Yeah.
Do.
Hold on.
Yeah.
Why don't you.
Let me hold on.
Back on screen.
You can go ahead and roll a study or survey.
You can pick.
I'll pick a survey.
Because I don't know the difference between.
Survey probably.
I do.
Somehow.
You manage.
To peep into.
The keyhole.
And you see the captain.
And he's doing exactly what you heard him doing.
He's walking around.
And he's strumming this like ukulele.
Like trying to practice a song.
And he just.
He just keeps messing it up.
Over and over and over again.
And he's like.
Oh, it's just these damn thumbs and hands.
Oh, my God.
How does he do that?
He's wearing his normal red frock coat.
Pants.
Shirt.
Pair boots.
Hat.
So he's.
He's clothed.
He is clothed.
We had to ask.
Is his.
Is his thumbs looking particularly fat?
He does have pretty.
Some might say he's thick fingered.
Oh, my God.
Captain.
Fat fingers.
Fat thumb Charlie over here.
Am I right?
Chuckles.
He's not here.
Do you want to do any more.
With your spying on him?
Not really.
I'm just kind of like.
Just kind of like.
I'm not sure what to make of this.
Okay.
Just laughing at him.
I mean.
Not laughing.
Maliciously.
Meanwhile.
Chuckers.
Chuckles.
You get down into the galley.
Chuckers.
Don't call me that.
Chuckers.
All right.
Chucks.
You get down into the galley.
Dirt chuckers.
All right.
Dirt chuckers.
Where would I be?
Where would the monkfish be?
If I were a monkfish.
Where would I be?
I'd probably be in the ocean.
But second best would be.
The oven.
I checked the oven for monkfish.
All right.
Go ahead and study and see if you find it in there.
I need to think like a fish.
I'm wet.
But I don't even know it.
Must think like a fish.
Yes.
Partial success.
All right.
You.
You see this beautiful.
Cooked.
Like crispy.
You know.
Pressed.
On this monkfish.
It smells delicious.
As soon as you open the oven.
Just hits you with this like.
Beautiful.
Water.
You know.
Mouthwatering.
Savory smell.
But you do reach for it.
And you aren't wearing any gloves.
So I do imagine you burn yourself a little.
Ouch.
Yes.
I am.
Magnetized.
By the smell of the monkfish.
And I burn my hand.
One stress.
Yeah.
We'll do one.
One stress.
Sorry.
No.
It's all right.
Take it or not.
One stress.
And.
Wow.
I take a bite of it.
But I try to do it in a suspicious area.
Like.
The neck.
It's butt.
Oh.
No.
Not.
It's.
Delicious.
I don't.
You've had some of Squish's.
You've had some of Squish's cooking before.
But this might be the best thing he's ever made.
Wow.
This might be the best thing he's ever made.
Um.
I fight the urge to.
Eat the monkfish.
Because I know.
That.
If.
Okay.
I radio Squish.
Squish.
Yes.
Squish.
This is Juggles.
Okay.
This.
I found the monkfish.
Thank you.
Please bring it to me.
Someone took a bite out of it.
Also.
It's really good.
Don't tell me that.
Thank you.
It's.
Very good.
Can I have a bite?
Did you take a bite out of it?
No.
It was like that when I found it.
Okay.
And you want me to bring it to you?
Do I?
Yes.
Did you really like the onion stuffing?
Is that what that was?
Yes.
You've never had one cooked before.
I would have.
I don't.
Didn't.
Eat it.
That is very.
Very convincing.
It was a little brain.
I start.
I start fast walking off the ship and back towards the market.
All right.
Captain.
And you left me?
Patches.
I'm still like looking through the keyhole with my like my butt shaking around like I'm looking like spying on this guy.
There's no way this can back.
Okay.
No way.
He doesn't know anything.
He's dumb as hell.
Okay.
So squish your heading.
I'm sorry.
Chuckles.
You're heading right back towards the market.
Yeah.
Patches.
You're going to stay listening to the keyhole.
I mean, I'm I.
I'm expecting.
Chuckles to come get me when he's done in the kitchen.
I didn't expect him to leave me.
And you left me.
Yeah, I did.
I'm on a mission and I'm walking very fast through the crowd, bumping into all sorts of people, fighting the urge, just fighting this deep urge to finish this monkfish with my mouth.
Actually, uh.
So you head back to the market.
And, uh, back to our blue shopkeeper who has, I guess, just been waiting in an awkward silence with, uh, with squish standing there in his shop.
Squish isn't really good at the conversation.
No.
Squish has just been sitting there like rocking back and forth on his feet.
Twiddling his thumbs.
All right.
Twiddling thumbs behind his back.
Attempting to learn how to whistle.
Chuckles, you meet up with squish.
You are in the.
Yes.
Blue shopkeeper.
Monkfish.
Take this away from me.
I'm about to eat it.
I take it and I put it down.
Be careful.
It's hot.
I'm a demon.
Oh, yeah.
I forget.
I don't see color either.
Or horns.
Or horns, apparently.
Yeah.
I set it down and I put the two point on the counter and say map.
All right.
Here you go.
And he hands back a scroll, like a rolled up map and just pushes it over.
And, um, as you reach for it, though, he kind of puts his hand on yours and he's like,
listen, I did tell you, uh, it's bad for humans, right?
Yes.
This little guy here.
Yes.
I mean, I'm a human.
Don't.
I can't stop you from going, but there's more to teach Rose than meets the eye.
And there are things there that maybe are best left there.
But, hey, that Monkfish.
Like what?
Like, like things you can just find on your own.
I don't know.
Now get out of my shop.
And he takes the two coin and he takes the Monkfish.
Can I open up the map?
Yeah, of course.
It is a normal looking map.
Here, I can show it to you guys.
I just want to make sure it's not like a blank piece of paper.
I won't be able to read it.
But I just want to make sure it's not like just words that say you got had.
No.
It's a map.
Oh, okay.
So if you're all looking at it.
So you guys are in the bottom left-hand corner where you see those pyramids.
The dark place.
And then up in the upper right-hand corner where there's like a landmass with some trees.
That's Ticharos.
Ticharos is a relatively small island.
I mean, it's like.
It's like Iceland.
It's a larger island.
It hosts a population of people.
But it's not like Australia size.
It's not a country.
It's just a very large island.
Australia, mate.
In between, there are lots of dangers.
There's lots of little small islands.
You see signs of monsters.
Those tendrils leaking out.
Those are monsters that are on the sea.
There's a little skull island there.
There's a big scary skull island in the corner.
You know.
It's a typical map.
But it is a real map.
And it is.
It looks authentic to you.
Okay.
All right.
Then I just roll it back up.
And I say.
See you, brother shopkeeper.
Have fun.
I wish we had a captain to also look this over.
Yeah.
Wouldn't that have been nice?
Who could have possibly predicted?
Well, the great captain is still on my shit list.
Well, I still.
Yeah.
Well.
Would you have trusted him if we brought him to look at this map?
Honestly, yes.
Really?
I mean.
He's not a very.
Didn't you just say you don't trust him?
I don't trust him.
But.
But you just said you did.
He loves maps.
He loves going places.
I can say I love maps too.
Doesn't mean I know how to read it.
Did you see him rig up that autopilot on the boat?
How proud he was of that?
And how long he sat in the bathroom.
This.
And let the ship steer itself.
That takes a special kind of dedication.
The stick.
The stick that he just put on the rudder.
Yeah.
Or the wheel.
Right.
That.
We both saw the red captain.
Yeah.
The actual captain come up and adjust.
Uh huh.
Every once in a while.
Sometimes.
And you trust him.
Not at all.
But sometimes.
Listen.
I'm very confused by.
By this right now.
I.
I have a confession to make.
I don't know.
I am illiterate.
So this looks like nothing to me.
And I am.
Cartographically.
Illiterate.
So.
It looks like nothing.
Well.
You're not there.
I'm not.
I'm not here.
I'm still looking my.
I'm still looking at the captain.
Spying with my ass up in the air.
Wiggling your butt.
For some reason.
Isn't that what you said?
Yes.
No.
Well.
Let's bring it back to him.
And have him look at it.
It's too late now.
He's already got the monkfish.
He's probably.
He's probably eaten it already.
Yeah.
How was it?
It.
I did.
Nice try.
It was like that when I found it.
I saw the bite.
It wasn't.
It wasn't me.
It was like that when I found it.
Then.
Then explain the burns on your tongue.
I just stole.
Childhood scars.
No.
How do you see this burns on his tongue?
You're not there.
Yeah.
I have a very tonguey way of speaking.
All right.
Let's just get back to the ship.
Okay.
Start walking back to the ship.
Show it.
Show it to the great captain.
But.
I'm walking.
You know.
Like very proud.
You know.
I'm like moving my arms up and down.
Really.
You know.
A lot.
With the map in my hands.
Okay.
Cute.
As you guys are walking.
You see a large group of people kind of gathered around.
And when you get there.
You see this demon band.
All in a circle.
And they're.
Well.
You know.
Kind of like.
And they're just jamming out.
It's pretty good.
It's actually really good.
Yeah.
And they're.
And they're impressive.
And yeah.
There's just a crowd of people.
And as.
As the song.
Kind of sallys down.
You know.
Everyone's giving him cheer.
Yay.
And then one of the.
The.
Lead.
He stops everyone.
And he goes.
Thank you.
Thank you for listening.
You know.
Make sure you buy our CDs.
Make sure you buy our merch.
We got these wonderful flutes here.
For real dirt cheap.
Make beautiful music on your own.
And you see.
You guys stopping.
Because you've stopped the stare.
And he points to you.
Chuckles.
And he's like.
Hey.
You.
You want a recorder?
I am.
Not a human.
Okay.
Person standing next to the person.
Demon standing next to the guy.
Who's definitely not a human.
Yes.
That's me.
Want a.
Want a free.
Free flute.
We're trying to.
You know.
Spread our word around.
You know.
These instruments are.
Pretty good.
And we thought it'd be like.
A nice little.
Like gimmick.
A flute.
I can't play the flute.
Yeah.
I don't.
I don't know how to play instruments.
Well.
All right.
Well.
Take it with you though.
You know.
Maybe you'll.
Have some fun with it.
What about speakers?
Can I have your speakers?
No.
You want a CD?
No.
Do you have any.
Not on wires?
I'll take some.
I'll take that.
Whatever you got.
Any.
No.
Not on wires.
All right.
Uh.
And what.
You're just giving.
You're just handing out CDs?
Yeah.
CDs and flutes.
For free.
Yeah.
What's the catch?
No.
Thank you.
You're not going to try and eat me.
Are you?
No.
All right.
Yeah.
Give me your stupid CD.
All right.
Uh.
He.
He hands you.
A CD.
Um.
And it just says.
Like.
Demon flautists.
On the top.
Okay.
Yeah.
You guys keep rocking on.
Someday you'll make it.
Yeah.
Um.
And then as you're.
You're leaving away.
The music picks up again.
And it's incredibly good.
Uh.
And maybe.
Maybe.
Just a little bit.
Magical.
Not quite.
You can't quite tell.
But you feel this like.
Pull on you.
To like.
Kind of go back.
And listen.
More.
And they have drawn.
Quite a crowd.
Around them.
Juggles.
Uh.
You hear this riff.
That this guy is playing.
Yes.
He.
Is.
Nailing it.
I.
I kind of want to.
Roll.
Something.
To try to like.
Not.
It's.
Get.
Sucked into this.
It's not about.
The notes he's playing.
It's about the notes he's not playing.
If you roll under.
Besides actions.
If you do resistance.
You could do resolve.
Um.
To kind of like.
Fortify yourself.
Against the music.
Uh.
Because you're noticing.
That there are other humans.
On the island.
They're being drawn in.
People are being drawn in.
And now you are being.
Uh.
Drawn in as well.
You started walking away.
And you're kind of like.
Walking back now.
Uh.
Truffles.
How about you?
You want to really resolve.
To see if you get stuck there?
Um.
Yes.
Um.
Yes.
Okay.
Because you're hearing this music as well.
And it's drawing you back into it.
You don't seem fucking bothered.
You just walk.
You keep walking.
It's completely un.
Bothered by this music.
All right.
But I.
Uh.
But Squish is kind of stuck there.
Huh.
Yeah.
This music is really good.
It's just.
Yeah.
They're.
These.
Loudest are just nailing it.
Yeah.
I don't know what that is.
And he's like.
Starting to come up to you.
Kind of like.
You know.
Working the crowd a little bit.
Getting you to like.
Playing a little bit.
Uh.
Trying to get you to dance.
We got to go.
Squish.
Reminds you of home.
Doesn't it?
I've never been there.
Oh.
Okay.
Do you know how to get there?
So good music though.
Uh.
And they just start playing harder.
Um.
Oh no.
They're so much better.
We have demon photos at home.
The crowd is heading in bigger.
The crowd is gathering.
And you're getting.
Uh.
Chuckles.
You're kind of getting pushed out to the side of this.
Like now.
What's slowly becoming like.
Kind of a mosh pit.
Squish.
But Squish has.
Squish has been lost to the music.
Squish.
And then.
He had lost to the music.
I'm yelling out now.
I've started yelling into the walkie talkie.
Squish.
You just hear the music playing through it.
Squish.
Captain.
Uh.
You have a walkie talkie as well.
So you just hear him yelling.
Squish.
Oh.
He's on the part of the line.
Is this thing on?
Squish.
Yeah.
Oh shit.
I didn't mean to leave it on.
Is it loud?
I mean.
Not loud enough that the captain turned you over his bad plans.
Alright.
I go back to spying on him.
Commence the wiggling.
Alright.
Chuckles.
What's your plan?
Um.
Oh.
He has the map.
Yes.
Squish has the map.
Um.
I am going to do my classic move.
Which is drop to the ground.
And climb underneath people's legs.
Uh.
Back towards Squish.
Okay.
I will recognize his chicken legs anywhere.
Hopefully.
Okay.
You do find him.
He's just standing there kind of swaying to the music.
Just kind of.
It's obvious at this point that he's under some sort of like hypnotism.
He's not even paying attention.
Okay.
Well I.
I turn up.
And I'm laying on my back.
On the ground.
And I'm yelling at him.
Squish.
I'm down here.
What?
What are you doing down there?
We got to go.
Squish.
I can't.
These guys are so good.
I think you should.
We should go.
I know you think they're good.
But we have them at home.
I got their stupid CD.
And as soon as I make a CD player and speakers and electricity.
I will play it for you.
Do you promise?
Yeah.
As much as I can promise anything.
Okay.
I'm going to try to resist again.
Oh.
Snap him out of it.
No.
I'm not going to nut punch.
I'm just going to tap him a little bit.
Just to pull him out of it.
Flick it?
Yeah.
A nut tap.
There's a flick.
For a nut tap.
Okay.
Yeah.
You can go ahead and roll your wreck.
Okay.
And Squish.
You can roll some resistance as well.
Just to see how much damage you take in return.
Is that.
Well.
Resolve.
Again.
I would say resolve.
Yeah.
It's a strength throw.
Or you know.
Not strength.
I mean.
You're going to have to need some resolve.
All right.
I got to go.
I'll be right back.
Okay.
Uh oh.
Well.
That didn't sound good.
It was.
Quite a cliffhanger.
He left us on.
What if y'all just left?
We'll find out about the nut punching.
When we get back.
Who do you nut punch again?
Me?
So Chuckles.
Chuckles is going to nut punch Squish.
To get him out.
To break him out of it.
Because you chose to ignore him.
When he was screaming over the walkie talkie.
Yeah.
Way to go Captain.
I mean.
Patches.
I'm a little scamp.
Just all over the board.
Okay.
I think today.
It's just one board.
You're all over spying on the captain for some reason.
Yeah.
I don't know why either.
I'm just kind of going with it.
Fair enough.
I was playing the ukulele badly.
It make him feel bad about that.
No.
I just think it's goofy.
Not yet.
It's going to be a time where you bring it up.
Getting tigers.
Okay.
I don't know.
Usually he doesn't run away like that.
Maybe they saw a mouse.
Sorry.
Yeah.
Mel is just.
There's just some kind of mistake going on down there.
And she needed me to see it.
A mouse?
Yeah.
Is it a mouse?
No.
It's just water.
But some say water is the most powerful force on earth.
You've heard of the Grand Canyon.
What?
Haven't you?
Water.
The source of all life.
And destruction.
Our story.
All right.
Our story starts there.
Yes.
So, Chuckles, you're going to roll your wreck.
And then Squish is going to roll his resolve.
And whoever gets the most wins.
Okay?
Well, I don't think it's going to be neat.
Oh.
It is you.
It is me.
So, good news all around.
So, yeah.
Chuckles, you nut punch him.
Right between the lines.
Tap.
It was a tap.
It was a little tap.
Squish, you don't take any damage from that.
But you are snapped out of your.
Snapped out of the.
Spell you've been under.
I get really mad.
Oh, of course.
I'm sorry.
It was for your own good, Squish.
We got to go.
I reached.
I reached out and picked Chuckles up by the collar of his shirt.
Whoa.
And folded it.
Why?
You'll thank me later.
I've never been happy with you before.
Yeah.
Get fast walking.
Now, the one time you see me happy.
Yeah.
It was really bothering me.
Your happiness.
Now, can we go?
Oh, we're not.
This is not settled yet.
Yeah.
You could.
Let's go.
You could beat my ass on the boat.
Don't tempt me.
I'm tempted.
Okay.
All right.
Leave the way.
I kind of hold him in front of me to push through the crowd.
Patches, you hear them arguing as they come back up the dock.
And you hear them yelling at each other.
So, what are you doing?
I'm panicking because I don't want to be caught by the door.
And I'm like trying to scamper away before the captain hears them yelling.
Okay.
You scamper back onto the deck.
Yeah.
I scamper on the deck.
I've been there.
Yep.
I scampered right up on the deck.
Hey!
Yeah.
Where'd you go?
What have you been doing?
You look awfully suspicious.
No.
I'm fine.
Almost like you were doing something you shouldn't have been.
What is this?
The third degree?
Who are you?
I'm Juckles.
The D is silent.
We found a map.
You found a map, eh?
Yeah.
My captain is standing behind you.
I start to scamper away even more.
Well, I can't believe it.
I'm searching for years for a map.
And you found it, huh?
Yeah.
I hand them the map.
And I just got a big smile on my face.
Perfect.
Ah, well done, lad.
Really well done.
And he, like, grasps your arm and gives it a real good squeeze and a shake.
And it's genuine.
Like, this guy's not rassing you up.
He's really happy that you've done this.
Everyone tonight drinks on me, huh?
They always are.
They are.
They always are.
They are anyway.
But, uh, excellent job, boys.
You got yourselves a map.
And then, um, what else have we got?
Well, not Monkfish.
All right.
Yeah.
I had to trade away the Monkfish.
And not any good music either.
No, that's where you're wrong.
And I pull out the CD.
It says the Demon Flutus on it.
I'm going to toss it to you.
There's some good music.
The Demon Flutus, huh?
Well, isn't this just, uh, one of my favorite bands?
I'm a huge, I'm a huge fan of them.
Really?
Well, they're just on the beach over there.
Yeah.
Their music is hypnotic.
You want to go meet them?
Uh, no.
They say don't meet your heroes.
And honestly, I think that's for the best.
But, uh, too bad we don't really have anything to play this on.
But I know you're working on it, right?
Right, Chuckles?
Probably.
And we also got this.
And I pull out of my pockets a bunch of Nod wire.
All right.
Look at this.
Now, one question.
Uh, we've been on the ship for several days now.
And you gave away the one thing that you did catch, correct?
Gold.
Yes.
You gave away the monkfish.
All right.
Well, I am going to have to say this.
The food supply is getting a little bit.
It has been taken down one peg.
Uh, because, uh, we did not actually buy any food here.
No, but, but we, uh, we got something better than food.
This wire.
I've heard the wire is actually pretty tasty.
It's really good.
I don't know why.
And, uh, and, uh, how was your, how was your trip ashore?
Oh, it was pretty good.
Um, let's just say, uh, I really learned how to string along the way.
I don't get it, but very good.
And he slammed you on the back.
Kind of pushes you over.
Did you just hit me?
Well, this is a great start, lad.
Uh, you've done well for your first trip, trip ashore.
Uh, I'm sure it went very well for you.
And, uh, yeah.
What did you do while we were gone?
Good question.
What did I do?
Yeah.
We were out there busting our humps.
Have you taken, have you taken a look around the ship?
And he points out, um, the scratches you made from the side of the ship, you know, rubbing
it, you know, hitting every other ship as you parallel docked, have been all buffed out.
The ship's been repainted.
It's gleaming.
Um, the whole, the sunroof that you had made is now completely patched.
Uh, the ship looks cleaner and better than ever.
Oh, wow.
I wonder how many ghosts it took to clean up this mess.
I wonder how many ghosts you have, huh?
You don't know anything.
I have a hot man.
You don't know.
Don't you release that thing.
This boat is made of flammable, flammable wood.
Right, right.
I'm just saying.
So you have one fireball demon.
Yeah, exactly.
Are you threatening me?
And no other ghosts?
No, why would I have any other ghosts?
Because one who's called himself a ghost pirate should have more than one demon.
You think he'd have a ghost or two.
Well, I was, I was hoping to catch them when I got back to the ship and it turned out it
didn't work out so well.
Hmm.
Well, when you get your own ghost crew and your own ghost boat, then you can call yourself
a ghost pirate.
Wow.
Is this a ghost boat?
No, it's a boat.
Just keep knocking me down.
The boat's real.
Okay.
Is the cat in the ghost?
No, I'm very much flesh and blood.
No, you are also flesh and blood.
We're all flesh and blood.
We did do the flesh test.
Did we?
Yes.
You held your finger for like a, for a long time.
Yes.
I touched it.
Like a child.
His skin.
I mean flesh.
You held his finger.
That didn't happen.
That's exactly what happened.
Well, give me the night to look over this map and I'll have our new bearings in the morning.
How about that?
The best I can do is two hours.
No, you can do overnight.
Besides, the light's getting low here.
We probably should set off or stay here for a little bit too.
Who knows?
Maybe we'll stay.
Well, can you, can you look at the map and tell me if it's good?
Yeah.
If it's legit.
He takes the map and he opens it and he looks at it and he's like, yeah, it's a normal map.
But is it the right map?
Never been to teacher us before.
So we'll find out.
Okay.
But I recognize some of these places.
Yes.
I've, I've heard of this place.
And of course, that's not a place we want to go.
And he's like pointing out different places.
I'm like looking over a shoulder.
Well, yeah, yeah.
That's a good spot too.
Right there.
Yeah.
Everything.
Yeah.
Are you two, are you two photography literate?
What?
I am not.
Okay.
I can totally.
Cartogre.
What'd you say?
Cartography literate.
Yeah.
I can do that.
Okay.
I can totally do photography.
He spreads the map out and he goes, can you point to where North is on this map?
Oh, wow.
I have confessions to make.
Yes.
No, I can't do that.
Are you lying?
Just.
Okay.
All right.
Squish.
North.
Oh, no, I don't.
I told you I don't know.
All right.
Perfect.
Patches.
North.
Don't talk down to me.
And I pat right to North.
Perfect.
Patches.
Join me in my state room tomorrow.
This evening.
And we'll look over the map together.
Why don't you join me in my state room?
Because your state room is the janitor's closet.
Yeah.
How'd your baseball game go?
Not good.