[Music]
Here he is.
Strange times on stranger's shores. Holy goats.
After being lured in with the promise of hot spas and relaxation,
the crew finds themselves on the strange island of Siampre-Tiampre.
Chuckles went naked into the jungle.
Patches followed, and Squish stayed with the captain on the shore.
Eventually, he was tricked.
Entering the jungle, were the three of them independently stumbled upon the remains of their beloved Garbarge,
who met a strange person, whether it was Old Peg, the beautiful Margaret, or the childlike Maggie.
The women revealed that they were one and the same,
and only Maggie remembered that she had once been the captain's partner and had been forsaken on the island.
Presumably, since Maggie's a ghost, it means that she's dead, but time is funny on this island.
The crew can't seem to travel far from the Garbarge, and they're isolated from each other, except for their walkie-talkies.
Crew will have to work together, work to find their way to escape, or else they will be lost from the other land.
So she is dead.
Yes, she could.
Somebody owes me an apology.
Who?
Oh, let me get my list.
You, for one.
Before we start tonight's proceedings, we're going to do a quick dice roll.
Everyone's just going to roll 1d6. There's no modifiers, nothing fancy. It's just to get in them.
And if I refuse?
Then you go to go once.
You go straight to jail.
You go straight to jail. No sign.
Is it r slash?
No.
Slash r.
You're going to have to reroll.
Oh, no, because we tied? This is competitive?
It's just, it's, okay.
Oh, go ahead.
Just roll.
Take it easy.
Okay, perfect.
What about me and Captain now?
No, you're good.
That was just a tiebreaker.
So Captain wins.
This is fucking bullshit.
It's not really like winning.
Everything's like winning.
That explains a lot about you, Tiger.
I don't know what that's supposed to mean.
I mean, you lost.
You're the biggest loser.
At least I'm the biggest something.
Biggest dick is.
Boom roasted.
Huge dick.
Yeah.
Tag's about to find out.
Tag's the old one, right?
Yeah.
So yeah, just to remind everyone where they're at.
Yeah. Yeah.
Chuckles. You are with old peg.
She's the old daughtering one.
Doesn't have a very good memory.
You're also, and I do repeat,
naked wish you had the young Maddie,
the ghost from the ship that you didn't believe existed.
And Captain, you have Margaret.
Naked.
I'm not going to. I'm not going to.
I'm naked. You're the only one in a kid.
Yeah.
The only one who's taken off their clothes so far is.
That's probably why you ended up with the old lady.
Because I was thinking back on it.
I was like, well, he's the one who saw the little girl.
Why wouldn't, but then I was like, well,
you'd have to be a naked around a child.
Yeah. That did kind of throw things off, but I.
It's perfectly natural.
You're the one that's making it weird.
Disagree.
Yeah.
So that is where everyone is.
You just you just made your GM.
I mean, Margaret have a three way call with herself or two way call with herself.
Chuckles, you took your clothes off.
And I think we decided you don't have your walkie talkie on you.
I only got one natural pocket.
And I tell you, it's not big enough for a walkie talkie.
So squish can be in, I'm sorry.
Patches and squish can be in contact with each other.
Well, looks like we lost Chuckles.
No, I'm I'm here.
My my camera is kind of glitchy.
It's going to get a fucking seizure.
I didn't say tiger.
I said Chuckles.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Chuckles.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm so apprehensive about this fucking webcam.
It's a hack into the matrix.
Yeah, in a bad way.
Like I'm watching a really cool 1990s music.
Is it distracting?
I'll turn it off.
No, no, don't turn it off.
Keep it on.
You want to see me like this.
I'm going to see you just.
All right.
Carry on.
Yeah, so we'll start with.
We'll start with patches.
Margaret's there.
Did you catch all that?
I'm sorry.
What?
No, I didn't.
My camera for my.
This was again, actually.
I didn't have anything.
Did you come from?
That goes a little ghost Maggie.
She just told you everything.
He used to be with the captain.
Oh, that.
Yeah.
You're sure your camera's kind of your microphone's kind of breaking up.
Bridget.
Yeah, that's better.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah, it's breaking up less than Tigers camera.
But oh, God.
I don't know why you had to mention that.
Did you hear?
You heard all that right over your magic talk box.
It's called a it's called a talky walkie.
All right.
And yeah, a little bit.
Got to get out of here before we get stuck here overnight.
Yeah, if you stay the night.
Thanks for reminding me.
If you spend the night, you guys are definitely going to be stuck here forever.
And the sun it's about, I don't know.
It's probably about 10 a.m. right now.
Oh, I want time.
Western or Pacific.
Those things mean nothing.
Fair enough.
All right.
Can I look around?
Give me a survey.
Survey says toast.
So you're looking around and it is the guard merge as you remember it.
But there are some things that have been added that implies that you're talking to Margaret, who's like the middle aged one.
She's been there for a while.
So she has like a little area that's clearly like her bed that she's made up.
There is some piles of food.
She does have a present.
You can make.
But she's got some gardening supplies.
She's got like shovels and like a spay and fertilizer.
I mean, it's a pretty rundown area.
So it's kind of overgrown anyway.
But she has been there for a while.
Your old books are still there.
So if Chuckles supplies is still there.
And this is true for all of you.
This is true for all the three of you that you can see this.
You know, old squishes, old cooking supplements.
Maybe you're still there.
Maybe his apron.
Cool.
My favorite apron.
My favorite books.
They're wet.
It is a rainforest.
Oh, we can't.
No, you can comment. That's as Andy, you can say that.
Yeah, but also into the talky talky.
Yeah.
So you've been here quite some time.
Made yourself at home, huh?
You know, well, I kind of got to getting stuck here by the captain and all.
He kind of, you know, left me with nothing.
And so I kind of, I compete on mine.
It's been a few years.
Yeah, he's a real turd.
Agreed.
Major turd.
Well, we got to get out of here.
I think running has gotten me very exhausted.
Okay.
So you want to lay down or anything?
Yeah, yeah.
I'll say I'll just lay down.
Okay.
Well, I'm going to sit over here, I guess, and she misses the,
where there's a giant hole in the ground, which we've talked about.
It used to be the former poop shoot. Now it's just a hole.
Walks around once the little.
It's on the other side of the room.
Probably where Dee Dee used to sleep.
Don't. That's the monkey spot.
What monkey?
Dee Dee.
He was a good, he was a good lad.
I know that monkey.
Okay.
Yeah. So I was trying to impress a little girl.
So, so soon.
What did you have to take your clothes off for?
Oh, oh no.
I'm in the scene.
You commented.
No, I was, I just kind of zoned out for a second and I was just thinking back on all the criticisms that have been done.
I was just thinking back on all the criticisms that have been done.
I was just thinking back on all the criticisms that have been levied against me over the year.
And there's been quite a few and I have made a lot of enemies.
But one in particular was about a monkey.
You've gone into a fight with a monkey.
No. Well, yes, but that's not what I was talking about.
No, I was actually, hmm, peg.
What is that?
Is that short for something?
Maybe.
Oh, the bag.
You're still breaking up pretty bad.
Oh, am I?
Yeah.
Are the batteries dying in it, baby?
No, it's a hundred percent charge.
I can try this without.
Let me try this.
I can put it through my.
Oh, please.
Hold for power.
Tiger, your camera is also breaking up pretty bad.
Oh, no, it's not.
Oh, he's pissed.
I'm so bad.
I hate technical difficulties.
They make me so angry.
It really pulls me out of the moment.
Yeah, me too.
Is this any better?
I'm just using my computer microphone.
That's a lot better.
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
Well, then I'll just do that.
Okay.
We're.
Yeah, no, it's it's it's short for.
They show from Margaret.
They used to call me Maggie when I was a little girl.
I was such a cute child.
It's a little daughter.
And I miss those days.
I was going to hold up my red card, but you can't see me on a character.
I guess I don't remember.
I don't think I knew what the girl's name was.
I don't think I asked her what her name was.
Yes, you did.
You did ask her.
All right.
Do you remember that?
Yes.
I didn't have a name picked out and I had to think of a name real fucking
fast.
No way.
Yeah, didn't go in there nameless.
All right.
This is blowing my mind.
We're going to have to have a Kahuna wave zone zone after this and talk
about all the behind the scenes shit.
All right.
Anyway, they used to call you Maggie.
Yeah, Maggie.
I was I was a cute kid.
Funny.
You mentioned it.
I just met a cute kid.
No, no, no, no.
She was fully clothed and I was closed.
Yes.
She kind of appeared out of nowhere and then disappeared into nowhere.
But she was very interested in this monkey that I used to know that we were
just talking about.
You have a monkey.
Well, can you really own a monkey?
It's a good point.
Yeah.
Um, huh.
So you're a ghost.
What?
No, I'm alive.
Can I touch her flesh?
Yes.
I'd like to approach approach to her flesh, please.
But yes.
And they used to.
How do I do I roll perception?
No, you could just you can come up and touch her.
She's an old lady.
She can't run away.
She can't.
I'm going to reach out and touch her on the shoulder.
He's a human.
She's a little wrinkly, a little bony, but very much like not a ghost.
Okay.
So I touched her shoulder, which is her shoulder.
We had clothes on it.
I imagine.
Yes.
She's wearing like a kind of a very tattered at this point.
Very tattered black dress.
I'm going to keep padding her until I reach skin and make sure that the skin
is also real.
Oh, yeah.
You can hold.
No, she's very warm.
She is not dead yet.
I'm not dead yet.
Oh, so you are not dead.
Well, I'm not dead.
Who told you I was dead?
Well, circumstances.
Huh?
Do I die?
Well, not.
Do I die here?
I have to assume.
Do you bury me in this place?
No, let's be honest.
I'm not the, you know, digging type.
So if you died, I would at best move you out of the junk for it.
What?
What exactly are you trying to say?
I'm going to throw her out the window and you're not here.
So, uh, well, no, you're not going to die anytime ever.
My darling.
But I need to figure out what's going on here.
I am freaky.
This is, this is weird.
Okay.
Hello.
Hey, I lose you.
Are you still there?
You said now she just died.
Oh, shit.
I promise I throw her out the window.
That's what she always wanted.
Tell us your camera.
If you had stopped talking for her, if you're just being silent for dramatic
effect, there's a lot of information.
I guess in my video.
All right.
I'll turn it back on anyway.
Yeah.
So is like, I'm not, I don't, I don't want to be honest.
I don't feel very good.
And she kind of gets a little woozy and she sits down.
Kind of in the, in the center of the garbarge.
It's okay, Peg.
It's okay.
It's just me and you now.
All right.
Squish, you have Maggie who's standing beside you.
Did you hear, did you hear all that?
Yeah.
I heard all of it.
I do have one question now though, that I think about.
Yeah.
You were on the ship.
How did you get on the ship?
If you've been stuck here.
Turns out when you're a ghost, you get to pick who and where you want to hunt.
You're dead.
Yes.
Have you tried seeing if I was dead?
Do I really look like I'm a real girl?
Can I approach her flesh?
Yeah.
You approach her flesh.
You, well, I want to put her in the forehead.
Your finger goes right through her head, right through her skull.
What the fuck?
I'm sure Freda goes to.
I'm very Ruh-Ruh, Maggie.
Come on.
I'm like a young, I tried to appear as like non-menacing as possible.
I saw your little friend there, your little, your little child on the ship.
And that's why I appeared to him as a woman, as a little girl.
I thought that would be a little, you know, creepy for him.
A little child friend I have on the ship.
Yeah.
The one that smells like onions.
I think he's older than all of us.
Not just a small child.
No, he's a very small, quote unquote, man.
Anyway, I thought appearing as another child wouldn't scare him.
But if you want, I can look like something else.
Only other versions of me.
I can look and she like, and she like makes herself look older.
And now she's the ghostly version of Margaret who is with, with patches.
I don't like this at all.
It can be an old lady and she like turns the old bag.
That's not the problem.
All right.
Look is not.
She's back to Maggie.
Oh, you're a ghost.
World is full of ghosts.
Are you not working for a ghost pirate?
Wait, is he dead?
I thought he was just a pirate that controlled goes.
He is a pirate that controls ghosts.
There are other ghosts on the ship.
Have you ever looked for them?
Have you ever wondered who does all the cleaning?
No, he brought him up to fight this one guy that Chuckles took his pants off of.
And I still was not very happy about it.
He also has been using him to like fix the ship after you guys blow holes in it.
Well, yeah, but I'm not there for that.
All right.
Well, I'm a ghost.
How do I get out of here?
Ghost.
I think I think you have to like, you know, connect me somehow connect the parts of me.
I don't know exactly.
You have to overcome your fear.
Can you stand in the boot.
Did we try that?
Like we did try that.
Oh, yeah.
Didn't you ever jump?
Yeah, didn't you jump head first into the poop shoot at the end of the last episode?
What happened with that?
No, I jumped.
Are you paralyzed?
No, a lot of Leviathan and a garbage monster.
I don't know.
Like, well, it's I don't know.
Do you have any like books on the paranormal or anything?
Well, Captain has some books around here.
You.
Do you know how to read?
Yes, I know.
I love that reading has become illiteracy has become a plot point in this season.
Like not just say not just any like map reading, you know, it's important to be up on these
things.
Well, next week we'll teach you guys how to do Morse code.
Morse codes impossible.
Yeah, it's really made up.
On the on the dot.
Well, maybe maybe there's something in one of those books.
Well, don't point out a book and I will read it.
Just stay away from me.
She walks over to where you know how to read.
No, you don't want to read.
No, you're the old version yourself still doesn't know how to read.
Shit.
It's not that.
That was smart.
I literally see the chronic issue.
Yeah, we can read.
Yeah, I said I can read.
Oh, all right.
Go stand away from the bookcase.
I'll find the book.
So she stands over by that gardening section and she just kind of like very dramatically again.
She's back in the body of Maggie, the small child and just goes and stands by the bookshelf and just know by the by the planting material stand in the poop shoe.
Maybe that'll work.
All right. So she goes and stands in the poop shoe.
All right.
We're going to survey or study to find the book.
Yeah, go ahead.
I think it'd be a survey for this one because you're looking for it.
That's good.
So you do find the book.
It's just kind of like, you know, on the shelf, just this gray dusty book and it just says on the side.
Spiritual reconnection for dummies.
I'll be a deed.
My secrets.
The only problem is when you pull it out, it's it's been heavily notated by the captain or by patches rather who in a previous life left all of his notes on it.
And also, unfortunately, it's pretty dense.
So I'm not sure how much you're going to be able to to glean from it from this one survey.
But you're dumb as hell.
No, while you ponder that, we'll go back to to Chuckles, who is standing with the very faint old peg.
So I just feel winded.
This is too much.
Well, how are we going to get on?
I don't know.
I know this is a junk fort or used to be a junk fort or looks like a copy of a junk fort.
But we need to leave because I want to.
Well, I don't know how to help you.
I've been stuck here for so long.
How did you get here?
I was abandoned here years ago.
By whom?
By that awful captain.
If it's Clyde made a God's curse his name, what color was he wearing?
What color?
Yes. Was he gray or red?
I think he was a she wore red.
He had a gray frocked coat.
Incondusive.
He had a red coat.
I don't know.
He he he was a ghost pirate.
Was he a ghost or ghost pirate?
Again, a pirate that controlled ghosts.
Okay, interesting.
Okay.
And why did he leave you here?
Is it because you're old?
Awful.
Did you start laughing when you said that in character?
Wow.
It really caught up to me how awful I am.
When I said old, I meant beautiful.
Was it because you're real beautiful?
It's because he was a dick.
I don't know.
You ever tussle your hair?
I wanted a little bit more of a solid relationship.
So many years ago, he just we started arguing and I think we grew resentful.
And then he he said, let's go to this island.
I know it's got a hot springs on it.
It's got a spa.
They take me there and I get here.
And then he takes us out on a date.
Oh my God.
That's what he did to me.
Why would he leave you here?
He has to be ancient.
That was so many years ago.
That had to be.
Am I ugly?
I couldn't have been the same guy would have been.
He would be my age if got older.
And how old are you?
Old.
Yeah.
Well, he doesn't look that old.
Oh, I don't know.
But he's also not a ghost because, you know, I confirmed.
He did the first test on him.
Yeah, we're not talking about how.
I think flashback though it happened in canon.
We all we all.
You're going to flex back to canon.
All right.
Yes, I touched.
I think it's the point of flash access to make a cannon.
Well, no, I mean, it actually happened in a session.
I touched his flesh.
You guys thought it was really weird.
But here we are now.
It was very useful information to have.
I still think it's very weird.
Okay.
Well, you're not here.
So you're not a ghost and the captain, the red captain, as I call him.
He is very old, impossibly old.
Yes.
And not a ghost.
At least he's corporeal.
So maybe somewhere in between.
Are you asking me?
I'm thinking through this and you're the only one here.
Well, I mean, when I knew him, he was very much flesh.
Oh my God.
You know what I mean?
No.
What do you mean?
Flashback.
Flashback to pound town.
Flashback.
The flashback.
Oh God.
All right.
Well, I need to talk to my, I only know one person knows anything about ghosts.
Yeah.
Are you communicating with them?
We're kind of in a bad spot right now.
Relationship wise.
Do you care for him?
Like no.
Yeah.
I mean, we were, you know, paling around and everything was good and we were having fun.
And then I found out he was leading a double life.
Well, yeah, I guess.
No, no, no.
That's the red captain.
He's the one that left me.
The gray captain just lied to me and manipulated me and continues to lie to me.
Sounds like you have a type.
Maybe don't go for captains.
I didn't go for captains.
Captains were going for me.
Well, I didn't ask for any of this.
I'm just an old lady who's very tired and it's, it's a getting hot in here, but I just think
is well, you do have no clothes.
So maybe it's better for you.
It tends to get warm here.
But if you call that talk about the captain, if you look deep in your heart, I'm sure you
could find a connection.
Also, there's like a Ouija board over there.
So I don't know.
Did you try that?
I think I'm just going to make a talkie talkie.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm going to go over here to my, you know, my project area.
Okay.
My special area.
It's called Juckles corner.
And I'm just going to bang on these nod wires for a little while.
All right.
It's interesting.
I've lived here for years.
I always wondered what all that stuff was for.
I thought maybe a giant like rat or something lived here, you know, something that like to
know on wires.
No, no, we get that a lot.
All right.
Well, all right.
Patches.
Well, you continue to tinker.
What do you have to do?
I am sleeping.
The one thing you weren't supposed to do.
The Margaret is like checking her watch as like the sun's going by.
Go ahead and give us a roll.
See how long you've slept for.
Roll for what?
One die.
We'll just do a random fortune roll.
How do I do that?
I want to die.
Just like you did earlier.
Slash r 1d6.
Time is slipping by.
It's getting later and later in the day.
You definitely at this point, we're going to say you slept for about three hours.
It is now 1 8 p.m.
All right.
I am arrested.
You are well rested.
And three hours.
Sorry, I'm right.
Yeah, you're going to need to know that because as soon as the sun goes down, you're going
to be like old fucking peg.
You're going to have naked men coming for you after eight years.
I'm going to have three different versions of myself.
Dear God.
All right, Margaret.
You're awake now.
I'm sorry.
Did I disturb your slumber?
I mean, I don't really want to have a roommate for the rest of my life.
That'd be really inconvenient for me, especially if it's you.
But like, hi, she's pissed.
Why?
Because you said you would help me get out of here and then you fell asleep.
I had if you sleep, you're going to stay here.
So like, yeah, I know I was I had I had to sleep it off a little bit.
Let's see here.
All right.
I got an idea.
Do I have Neelix on me?
Yes.
All right.
I pull out Neelix Neelix.
Yes, sir.
How do we get out of this thing?
What is this thing?
The barge, the whole area.
Can you can you go up and see?
Can you go up and take a look around like zoom up from a high and look down?
Yeah, I can do that, sir.
And he like, whoo, and I just straight up like floats to the ceiling.
That's the upward float noise.
Yeah.
But then like, like five or six seconds later, he comes up through the floor and he looks shocked.
He's like, sir, I've seen a lot in my day.
I am a very distinguished coast butler.
But that creeps me to hell out.
I know.
Are we?
I don't know.
I kept running and running and running and I kept coming back to the same place.
I'm not kind of out of ideas.
That is a metaphor for your life, sir, if I've ever heard one.
Yeah.
Ghost burn.
Yeah.
So there's no escaping this physically, sir.
This is a, from what I can tell, a spiritual puzzle, not so much a physical puzzle.
So I have to astral project.
Can I do that?
Do that.
I don't know if I can do that.
I have no.
It's good to find out though.
Yeah.
Let's you can attune to a ghost field.
You can be aware of supernatural entities.
All right.
Well, am I doing that right now?
No.
Okay.
All right.
Well, I guess first things first is introductions.
Neelix, this is Margaret.
This is my ghost Butler.
He's normally very helpful, but we're in quite the pickle.
Hello, man.
It's nice to meet you and Margaret just waves and, you know, still pretty mad at you.
Is this the garbage where you lived formally?
Oh, yes.
Yes.
I fall asleep right where I used to fall asleep.
I think it's never change.
Yeah.
I looked around a little bit.
Everything seems like a spiritual puzzle and you yourself are a tuner of the spiritual as it was.
Have you looked around for any of your old things?
If that might help or did you?
I did not.
I looked a little bit.
I saw that my books were all here, but they're all wet and I saw that.
Juckles is toolbox was here or tool corner.
Should I run a survey and see what I find if I look again?
Sure.
All right.
So you look around and you're finding the same book that Squish has found spiritual connections for dummies, but it is wet and soggy.
So you actually can't really read it very well.
Like all your notes that you had in there are run like they're just run down the page.
So this has been flooded recently.
Oh, goodness.
Yeah.
Well, so.
Captain, I mean, Patches.
Captain Patches will do.
Thank you.
No, just Patches.
Captain Patches here.
What do you need?
No, I'm trying to reach Patches.
Captain Patches here.
What do you need?
I'm in my garbage.
I'm back to being captain again.
It's like old days in the car.
What do you want?
Hey, I found this book, but you scribbled all over it.
I don't know what's going on.
What does my scribble say?
Anything good?
Probably not.
I can barely see what my scribble say here.
I think it says once they're three hours, I think.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
I'm sure you've done that before.
But what book are you reading?
The same book.
It's just all wet.
Okay, well, maybe you can help talk me through this?
Yeah, sure.
All right.
What should I look for on combining souls, I guess?
Connection for dummies.
Yeah.
What?
What's the name of the book?
What is the name of the book again?
Spiritual connections for dummies.
Yeah, how do I connect these spirits?
You survey and hope that you come up with the right page.
Are you asking me?
Yeah, I don't know what to tell them.
Okay, so this book, squished as you're looking through it,
you can kind of understand some of the what it is.
You could read what's being said.
It's just not very clear what's going on.
But go ahead and do a study and see, try to figure out if you can kind of like
decode his between the lines and see the actual text of the book.
Can I get a plus one for him trying to help me?
Yeah, yeah, he can give you a hand.
Can I also push myself?
Sure, take one strain and then, yeah.
You're going to look for something called a tuning.
All right, I do it really hard.
He like looks this finger turns the page, really studies it.
Yeah, so you find the page on attuning and from what you can decipher,
it says this basically to combine multiple spirits together,
you're going to need a spirit, a body, and then something important.
To that person.
Okay, I turned to Maggie.
Maggie, what's important to you?
Well, the captain was pretty important to me and he dumped me, but I miss him a lot.
I don't like you saying that as a little child.
Oh, sorry.
Can I get like an item or something?
An item, I don't know.
A book, a stick that you.
My drums, my drums.
What?
I was a sick, I was a sick drum player.
And where are they?
Here maybe probably.
I've never heard you be that before.
She's six years old.
Why would she say my drums?
Like a 42 year old man would say, just be like, yeah, my drums.
I played drums in high school.
Where was the last time you saw that?
My drums, man.
I don't know.
I got real mad one time because I was playing really hard and one of the, well, they snapped.
The skin of it snapped and I can't really flint that much.
Whatever if it comes close to the cabin, I can catch, but I didn't have any skin to replace it.
So I think I buried it in anger.
That does not seem rational.
If you threw it, I'd understand, but you buried it?
Well, I mean, it was a lot of years ago.
I don't know.
I mean, it wasn't really thinking rationally and like, why am I going to throw it out of the thing?
Just out of the house, just so it to pop in through the other side of the window.
I didn't know you can throw it that hard.
It would go around the world, but that's cool.
It's how things work in this world.
All right.
So we have a very finite space that you could have buried it.
Yeah.
Like the giant circle in the ground.
No, shit.
There's drums in the poop hole.
It's not what it is.
Not anymore.
Oh, shh.
Patches.
Shushing me.
Yes, you, Maggie.
Patches.
You are?
Hey, can you dig up the poop hole?
I'm pardon.
Can you dig up the poop hole?
The poop shoot, whatever you want to call it.
Do you have a reason for this request?
Because let me tell you, I'm not really eager to do this.
Yeah, I think there's some drums in there.
I'm sorry.
What?
Yeah, I've got no further explanation.
We need to connect the spirits.
We need to tune the spirits with something that's important to them.
And I think it's the drums that are buried in the poop hole.
Are you sure it's not just the poop hole?
Because it's pretty important to all of us.
And I'm sure it could be important more than just us.
I don't think it's important to Maggie here.
She didn't even use it for its intended purposes.
Oh, my God.
She used it for a drum hole.
I'm like a normal person.
You're a ghost.
And you're not here.
All right, all right.
Let me see.
Margaret.
What?
Neelix.
Yes, sir.
Guess what we got to do?
What?
We got to dig out the poop hole.
I do believe I hear dinner on the line.
Hold, please.
And Neelix just.
Hey, it's just you and Margaret.
Get back on it.
All right.
Margaret.
Let's get going.
And I like grab her by the arm of the start walking towards the people.
I have a whole gardening section.
I pointed out earlier that.
Does that.
Oh, the shovels.
Yes.
We need shovels and we're digging up drums.
Drums.
Yeah, apparently.
To you.
Man, I used to hit the drums so hard.
I was great at them.
All right, then.
Well, guess what?
You want to be great at them again.
Let's get those drumsticks out and start digging because your drum.
Your drums are in that pool.
Well, we only have one shovel, so I'm not digging with my hands.
Okay.
No.
All right.
Well, shovel.
What?
It's your pool.
This better build character.
All right.
So I start digging.
Where's the.
Where's the digging action?
So as you're digging, she starts talking to you.
She's like, do you even know why I got into the drums?
I didn't ask, but why?
Oh, no, it's fine.
Go ahead.
You can just go ahead and continue to dig up.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm sorry.
I'm just a little cranky.
It's working and you know, why, why, why are you into the drums?
Is it because they're, you know, you can beat on them.
Yeah.
All right.
Fine.
Be that way.
No, no, it's a dumb story.
My mom used to tell me as a kid about this, like, princess, had a beautiful
voice and they, you know, wanted to replicate her voice, wanted to give her
a great companion.
So these like a bunch of these scholars went out and they found like the best
drum they could find.
It was made of like the softest lamb skin you can even imagine.
Yeah.
And it was beautiful.
Everyone said it was the most beautiful set of drums.
So I like really love the drums.
Super big fan.
That's very sweet story.
Reminds me of something else I heard a long time ago.
But I can't remember.
What?
No, about a magical musical instrument.
I think it was a flute.
No, maybe.
I don't remember.
I'm digging a hole.
All right.
That's pretty cool.
Me.
I like the bottle.
That's a bad joke.
All right.
Let's go.
Boy, this hole's got a lot of dirt in it.
Yeah.
It's really like fertile dirt too.
Have you noticed?
No.
No, I haven't.
I have just been trying to dig it.
You know, are these onions?
What the hell?
As you dig, we're going to go back to Chuckles.
Chuckles, you've been tinkering at your station for a while.
What's going on?
Yeah, I am just trying my darnedness to make it talky talky.
I'm just trying to cobble whatever I can together.
I imagine it's kind of awkward because I'm just kind of hunched over in my inventing corner.
And is Peg talking to me?
She's still kind of whining.
She's kind of just muttering to herself at this point.
She's laying in the pool pole at this point because she's like -- she's mentioned that she's felt faint.
She's mentioned that she's felt hot.
So she's kind of just like laying down trying to cool off and just kind of muttering to herself.
You can't really hear what she's saying, but she's not like watching you as you work.
Well, funny you say that because I'm also muttering to myself and feverishly just hacking away.
And Peg, I wouldn't lay in that hole if I were you.
I don't know what you used that hole for, but I know what we used it for, and I wouldn't want to lay in it.
You're breaking out.
I couldn't hear you.
It's fine. It's okay. I'm good.
Would you like me to tell you what we used it for? Because I really feel like you would change your mind if you knew what we used it for.
If you knew how shitty I feel, you'd stop talking and let me lie down.
That's an interesting choice of words.
And then I keep hacking away.
Am I having any success?
Well, let's roll your tinker and find out.
You have made these before.
You presumably still have the supplies and the knowledge of doing it.
So I could see you if you roll a success making them.
Okay. Because it was really hard the first time. I remember that we had a timer and everything.
Yeah.
You do it. Congrats.
It was pretty close though.
It was pretty close.
You are able to create a very poor version of your walkie-talkies.
They still work and everything, but they're obviously a little ramshackle together.
And they zap me a lot.
Yeah. They tend to electrocute you just a little bit.
Okay.
Well, by Jove, I've got it.
That's nice, dear.
Okay. I was hoping you'd be happier for me.
But I guess not. You're just worried about your own problems again.
She's... Okay.
All right. I'm going to fire this thing up. Hello. Hello.
Can anybody hear me?
Does he have to roll something for that or...
No. His walkie-talkies work. So you do hear him.
Who is this?
God, I hate you. I regret immediately ever making this thing.
Oh, no. Juckles.
Yes, Juckles.
No. It's never been Uncle Leo. Quit calling me that.
Uncle Juckles, then?
Hey, you guys will never believe what I found.
Oh, I think I will.
I don't think you will. You'll never, ever guess.
Hey, hey. Can you do me a favor before you tell me?
Uh, what?
Can you do me a favor before you tell me what you found?
No.
Yes.
Because you're too difficult sometimes.
Okay. What do you want?
Can you dig up the poop hole?
The what now?
The poop shoot. The poop hole.
The hole we used to poop in.
In the garbage that you're in.
And I look around. Can you see me?
No, thank God.
Last time I saw you, you were naked.
Yeah, I'm still naked.
I don't need nor want to see that.
There's nothing wrong with it. Nude is beautiful.
Yeah, when it's not you.
Um, yeah, well, yes, you're right.
I'm in the Garbar, so lucky guess.
Not a guess.
I can't get out of here.
Yeah, that's why I need you to dig up the poop hole.
Yeah, you said that and I feel like it's some kind of sick innuendo.
And I don't appreciate it right now.
No.
Oh no, this is very serious. You know that hole we used to poop into?
Oh, you meant literally.
Yes, no, not your poop hole.
Oh, I thought you were telling me to go fuck myself in your trademark, you know, loquacious way.
No. I don't beat around the bushes when it comes to that.
I will tell you to go fuck yourself.
Okay. So you want me to do what now?
Take up the poop hole and I ate for drums.
Okay. Well, here's the other thing.
Absolutely insane thing.
Yeah. Yep. Those are all those words are coming out of random to me.
It's always something more with you.
But my no, I know you need to understand my poop hole is clogged with an old lady.
She's very hot and very whiny.
No offense.
What was that about innuendos now?
My poop hole is clogged with an old lady.
Not innuendo.
She get out.
I don't know. I'm afraid to move her.
Wait, why do I need to get drums?
Did there's some kind of ass? Wait, there's an old lady there.
Yeah. I know what you're thinking.
Is she a ghost?
No. Yeah.
I've touched her.
She's not a ghost.
Yeah, but she is.
She's here. She touched you.
No.
Okay. All right.
Well, that's one big lawsuit.
We don't have to settle.
We're not going to court anytime soon.
I think we're okay.
No.
Hey,
Please kindly move out of the hole for me.
- Do not ask her to move out of your,
don't ask her to move out of the poop hole and touch you.
- No, no, no, no, no.
Just get out of the, could you please move out of the poop hole
for old Cory, Trevor?
- Just sway her.
- Sway her?
Okay.
- Yeah. Sleducer.
- My magnum dong.
(laughing)
- Failure.
Okay, well, it's still magnum.
Just not convincing.
- I'm gonna die.
That's all I want to do anymore.
I just want to die.
- What? No, you said you weren't dying.
You promised me.
- I've decided to change my mind.
- Don't do that.
No, you're just being dramatic.
You want some fruit punch?
(laughing)
- Yes, I would like some fruit punch.
- I know you invented it.
Let me bring you some fruit punch.
- I know, my greatest invention, lost on this island.
Forever forgotten.
- This is what I'm gonna do for you, Peg.
I am gonna get you out of here,
at least your invention for fruit punch.
And I am gonna publicize it.
Trust me, I know a celebrity chef and he will make it big.
And in the meantime, how do you make fruit punch
so that I can give it to you and you can get out of the hole?
- Fabulous recipe.
It's a mixture of the finest cherries,
oranges, tropical fruits.
Beautiful.
- Where the hell am I gonna get all that?
- I don't know.
- Do you have, wait, do you have some?
- Yes, it's around the back,
just outside on the other side of the door.
- Okay, I would like to tinker some fruit punch for the lady.
- Okay.
Yeah, go ahead.
(crashing)
- Congrats, you've made a delicious cup of fruit punch.
- Okay, I'm gonna bring it to her lips.
And so, and, okay, now here is some fruit punch.
I hope it gives you enough life
so that you can vacate the poop hole.
(laughing)
- It successfully revivifies her.
She kind of takes it and she feels more like,
oh, I do, I do feel better.
It was the fruit punch, of course, I knew.
It's health benefits.
I just, I'll get up and I'll rest over there.
And she points to what looks like to be a bed
and she gets out of the poop hole and lays down on the bed.
- Now don't go dying on me.
- All right.
- Squish, are you still there?
- Yes.
- Good mix.
- Dad, this is...
(laughing)
- This is Jeff's.
- You can hear me laughing on the other side.
The talking dog.
- The poop hole, the poop hole is now open.
It's free.
- Okay, then you need to dig in there real deep.
- Um, do I have to?
- Oh, wait, hey, Patches.
- Who?
- You're on this call too, right?
- I'm busy right now digging a poop hole.
- See, you see, that's why you gotta dig up the poop hole.
- Because Patches is doing it?
- Well, yes, we all have to do it.
- You're not doing it?
- How do you know?
Are you here?
- Lucky guess.
- But you did just give it away.
So clearly you are not digging for it.
- No, I have a little ghost girl digging it for me.
- That is the worst thing you've ever done.
- Don't think so.
- It's not fair, why did I get the old one?
- Oh, no, no, mine can turn old.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Why would anybody want to go there?
- She also turned middle aged and sexy.
She can choose her age, actually.
- Peg, Peg.
- Yes?
- Can you choose your age?
- If I was, I'd wish I was younger.
- Me too, all right.
- You look very young, almost like a child.
- No, that's just, I get that a lot, I'm just short.
I guess I'll start digging.
- All right, give it a go.
Patches, wait, I'm sorry.
Chuckles, before we leave you,
how are you digging this hole?
I guess I should ask.
- He says top hat.
- Oh, I'm sorry, it went back to me,
how I'm doing, like digging this hole.
- Yeah, are you going in hands deep,
or what are you, are you using the shovel, or?
- Well, yeah, I guess I,
well, I have to find the shovel.
Do I have anything in my toolbox?
- I mean, you have like a little spade.
- All right, I'll use the little spade.
Maybe it's a hammer.
It's not the right tool for the job,
but I'm just gonna claw dirt out of there.
Does it stink?
- I mean, to be fair, the pool ball had direct access
to water before, so I mean, he didn't actually like.
- That's true, unless the garbage materialized
with the poop for some reason.
- We just say it's a partial success
of whether or not that stinks or not.
I'm gonna let you choose what that means.
- A partial success?
I think it's, even if it doesn't stink,
even if it has nothing to do with the actual poop,
it's psychosomatic for me, that I can smell it
even if it's not there and it's discussing.
So I'm going, but reluctantly, but I am making headway.
- Haaches, we're gonna get back up to you
and as you're digging, you feel something.
- I'm digging it, I'm digging it.
And I like digging it,
and I get to that point, like when you're digging it,
ding, but it's actually a drum.
It's like (imitating drumming)
I think he busts into song.
- Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know, I think I found it.
(imitating drumming)
Hey!
(imitating drumming)
Oh man.
- You pull out an old drum.
It's not very big, it's about yay high,
so maybe like two or three, two and a half feet.
It's like a drum that could fit between your legs
that you can play on.
- Oh, it's a wonga mongo.
- Yeah, it's heavily detailed, heavily carved,
has a lot of geometric imagery on it,
but it's very old is what you can tell
and very worn and Margaret who's with you looks down
and she's like, hey, there it is.
- Yeah, there it is.
- Yeah.
- All right.
- Oh, I missed that.
The captain bought me these.
- Yeah, it looks pretty nice.
- Hey, hold on a second, hold on a second.
I gotta make a phone call.
- Hey.
- It's Gres.
- Yes.
- It's the captain.
- Oh, okay.
- The great captain.
- That was my next question.
Wait, oh, patches, captain.
- The great captain.
- Patches.
- Listen, I found a drum.
- Oh, good.
That's what you were looking for.
- Now what?
- Let me look at the book
and I will tell you what you wrote on it.
- Don't you put me on hold.
- Click.
- Squish, squish.
- Yes.
- I haven't found anything yet.
Should I keep digging?
- Who is this?
- Yes, keep digging.
- Oh my God, I've never seen a one like kill you so bad.
- Yes, keep digging.
Patches just found his drum.
- You know what?
I completely forgot.
Don't mean to interrupt.
I forgot.
- What?
- You have the inside of the guard barge.
- Oh, pretty accurate.
- What, this whole time?
(laughing)
- It's for tonight.
Yeah, sorry.
Continue digging.
That's what he said.
- Yes, yes.
Continue digging.
Patches just found his drum.
- Chuckles.
- Yes.
So I should keep--
- Keep digging.
- Yeah, but why would, okay.
- I keep digging, I guess.
- Does he find a drum?
- No.
As Patches is digging,
you're digging a bigger and bigger and bigger hole
and you're not finding anything actually.
- Squish, I've dug so much.
It stinks so bad.
And I have found nothing.
- Oh, thank God I didn't waste my time digging a hole.
All right.
Let me--
- I'm gonna put this old lady back in the hole.
(laughing)
- I unclick from Patches.
All right, now we have to figure out
what to do with the drum.
So I have to read the book more.
- So you go back to the page
that you had looked at earlier.
And as a reminder, it says you need three things
to connect the spirit.
You need an actual, partially part of the spirit,
the body and something important to them.
- Oh, hey, hey, Juckles.
- Who is this?
- It's Squish.
- I squish.
- Hey.
- I am still digging.
There is nothing in here.
It smells so bad.
I cannot express to you how disgusting this is.
- Hey, stop digging.
I got really, really--
- Do you remember I am naked?
- Hold on.
- And I am covered in human ways.
- That is not my fault.
The human waste might be my fault, partially.
But I got something that's gonna really cheer you out.
- I somehow doubt it.
- Oh, no, no, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Are you ready for it?
- No.
- No, that was very--
- Oh boy.
- This is the anticipation.
- He's so happy.
- I don't tell you, frozen.
- Oh no, no, come back.
You're here.
- Okay, all right.
You get to push the old lady in the hole.
- Head first.
- I don't care how she goes into the hole.
- Hey.
- Just push her into the loophole.
- Hey.
- Yes?
- Great news.
- I'm feeling much better now.
That produce really helps.
- No, no, no, good news.
You can die now.
- What?
- Yep, yep.
Back it in.
- You said you weren't gonna kill me.
- Yeah, but plans have changed.
No, no, I'm not gonna kill you.
You're gonna die of natural causes.
- What?
- I pick her up.
- Yeah, you pick her up.
She's pretty frail.
She is fighting you slightly,
but she's a very frail old lady.
- You are very light.
- Yep, you know, I've only really been subsiding
on strange birds, occasional rabbits and fruit juice.
- Fruit punch, as I recall.
- Yeah, fruit punch.
- Okay.
I'm gonna have to ask--
- Wait, are you serious about throwing me in the hole?
- No, no, no, I will set you down gently
into this large hole that I've buried for you.
- Oh, sure, into the hole.
- Shh, I'm working on it.
- No, no, pay no attention to that.
You know, I dug this hole all day just for you.
(laughing)
- I can't hear you.
- Wait, you're putting me in a hole,
but you're not gonna kill me?
Do you think I'm gonna be able to get out of this?
- I don't know where the hole goes.
- It goes to the ground.
I can see the bottom right there.
You actually did very far.
- Well, I don't know that we, you know,
you don't need to criticize me, I don't think.
I feel like--
- And that's not a criticism.
- It's not about how far you dig,
it's about how hard you dig.
That's what my mother always told me,
now get in the hole.
(laughing)
- Get in the hole.
- I'm gonna have you just to,
just because I don't wanna make it 100% too easy,
even though she is a very old lady.
You are gonna skirmish with her.
She's going to fight you slightly.
- I don't really wanna fight her.
So I'm gonna stand her back on her feet.
- Okay, so you put her on her feet just outside the hole.
She's looking down in there,
she's like, "Why do I even need to go in there?
"Who are you even talking to?"
- This is my friend Squish.
He has no bedside manners,
so perhaps you shouldn't talk to him.
- Well, sure.
- Maybe you could talk to Patches,
my other friend that's on the line.
Patches, are you there?
- Hello?
- This is Juckles, this is Juckles.
- Oh no, Juckles.
- Yeah, no, yeah, long time, no talk, right?
I have Peggy here on the line,
old Peg they call her.
She's just been informed she needs to go into a hole,
but she's scared and, you know,
she just wants to talk to someone, a captain.
She wants to talk to a captain.
- Do you have the captain there?
- I have a captain.
- Captain Fitz Clyde?
- Hey, Captain Fitz Clyde?
- Yeah, this is Captain Fitz Clyde.
You are getting the hole, my lady.
- Are you trying to sway her into the hole?
- Exactly sway is what I'm trying to do,
which is what I've fought her.
- I don't wanna fight her.
- Are you swaying or commanding her?
- Or swaying?
- All right, go ahead and sway her to get into the hole.
- Oh no. - It doesn't work.
You left me here on this island.
How could you?
- Oh, I'm working on it.
Listen, the island's cursed.
We're trying to figure it out right now.
- I haven't cursed.
- What do you mean the island's cursed?
- Wait, Peggy? - Have you tried leaving?
- What, no, I can't.
Okay, fair point, I can't.
- Peggy, Peggy.
- Old Peg, she prefers to be called.
- Old Peg.
- What?
- This is Squish.
- Squish is my other friend.
He's not a captain.
He also has terrible bedside manners,
so take him with a grain of salt.
- I really need you to get into the hole.
- Wait, put Margaret on the line.
- Wait, Maggie?
No.
- Maggie, that's it.
- No.
- The child.
- No.
- She can convince her to do anything, I bet.
- I don't think so.
- She really misses Maggie.
- I think you just want the GM to talk to the GM again.
- No, I just don't wanna fight this old lady.
I feel like I'd be at all time low.
I already punched people in the nuts for fun.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- I swear to her.
- Old Peg, do you like to call Old Peg,
or does your phone just mean a dick?
- Oh, I mean, nobody really calls me anything.
I live by myself.
I guess I call myself Old Peg.
- Okay, Peg, right.
What I need you to do is to get into the hole.
Please.
- Are you attempting to sway me as well?
- Yes.
- All right, go for it.
- Hunter.
- My sway is just as good.
- Oh, I did not know.
- Yes.
- Yeah, he's a really kind hunter, I suppose.
Well, what do I have this when I go in the hole?
Everything will be solved.
- I don't know what that means, but.
- What?
Yes, you will get to see the red captain again.
Captain, the real Captain Fitz Clyde.
- What, like in heaven?
- God, oh, don't hold. - Like in heaven?
- Shut up.
Can I see Chuckles just shut up?
Sorry.
- No, you've convinced Peg.
She lowers herself into the hole.
Chuckles, when you look in,
you just see this little old decrepit lady
standing in a hole.
- I pat her on the head.
- Okay.
What now?
- You tussle her hair.
- I tussle her hair.
This always makes me feel better.
- Oh, the captain used to do that to me.
- What?
I wasn't his first?
(laughing)
- All right.
- Yeah, is it comfy in there?
More fruit punch?
(laughing)
- I mean, no, I'm good.
- All right, great.
- Take it.
I don't know, does it stink?
I feel like it stinks.
- I felt like it stinks too.
Try digging it.
- You didn't dig very far, remember?
- Listen, I don't think now is the time for criticism.
- All right.
- All right, okay, I repeat, the old lady is in the hole.
- All right, good.
The old lady's in the poop hole.
- Old lady's in the poop hole.
- You got the drums.
- Got the drums.
Now you have to do something squish for once in your life.
- Maggie.
- Yes?
- Can you stand right here in this circle, please?
- Was it a spirit of body and something imperfect?
Oh, important.
- It was the soul or the spirit,
something that's linked to them and the body.
- All right.
- So Maggie, please step into this hole.
- Maggie steps into the hole.
- Isn't she already in the hole?
Wasn't she digging the hole?
- No, I never told her to dig a hole.
- Cycle path?
- Yes.
- Oh, right.
Anyway, what happens when she steps into the hole?
- Well, nothing, quite at first.
- All right.
What else has the book said?
- Well, let's go ahead.
We'll have you study it and see what else needs to happen.
- My study's not good.
Do I get another plus one for patches?
- Yeah, patches.
- Talk to Squish about this book.
Where did you, you know, 'cause it's your book.
- Like my handwriting?
- No, it's terrible.
- It's not terrible.
I write very fine, just very tiny.
And that's how it works, you know,
'cause you can read my, once I told you,
they're like, "Oh, it's not that terrible.
"I can actually read you a book."
- What?
- There you go.
- You know what, now that you say that, yeah.
- Yeah, you got your proof.
- It's perfectly clear.
- I mean. (laughs)
Sometimes we work together.
- Yeah, so you finished reading the rest of the spell,
and it's an incantation,
and it actually is relatively simple.
You just need someone to attune the three objects together
once they're in the same location,
and connect them all kind of like a needle
kind of going through three pins of fabric, you know?
So you just need someone to--
- I can attune.
- Ash, just please attune.
- Attuning.
- I can attune. - I can attune.
- Any modifiers?
- You said you can attune.
Truckles, do you wanna attune with him?
- No, I just felt left out.
- Okay. - No, attune with him.
- Okay, I'll attune with him,
but I don't know how to attune.
Is it just concentrating really hard?
- Yeah, we'll connect.
It's gonna be very poignant.
We're gonna become best friends.
- Arise, chicken.
(laughs)
- All right, we'll see you roll your attuning.
- With plus one?
- Well, if Truckles rolls his, he will roll as well.
I give you a boost.
- So zero.
Okay. - Just regular, yep.
- All right, there's one.
- Hey, critical.
Right, you got zero in attune.
You just wanted to be part of something.
It really fucked it up.
- I'm just concentrating really hard.
- I still have a little tooth.
- Now we know what that smell was.
It was Truckles when he--
- Flatulated. - Concentrates very hard.
- Yeah. - No.
- So, Captain, you close your eyes
and you try to attune.
And as you're attuning, what you're feeling
is basically like, even though your eyes are closed,
you can kind of see in your mind these three objects.
You see the old lady in the hole.
You see Maggie, the ghost,
and you see the drums better in front of you.
And then with a flash of life,
it's like they all just combine into one.
And all of you see the same flash of life
in front of you.
And when you reopen your eyes,
the three of you are once again
standing in the garbage together.
Maggie, the drums, and the old lady
are nowhere to be seen.
- We killed them.
- Yeah, Margaret, old peg, everyone's gone.
It's just the three of you and the garbage.
- We didn't kill them.
They were already ghosts, so.
- Mine wasn't a ghost.
I asked her specifically and I touched her very intently
and she was alive.
- Yeah, mine was a ghost.
- I don't think she was a zombie.
She didn't try to eat me.
- You never touched yours, Patches.
You don't know if she was a ghost or not.
- I was thinking about a gentleman.
- What are you implying?
That I'm not a gentleman?
- Did you ask for consent?
- Yes.
I said, may I approach her flash?
And she said yes, and then I did, okay?
- I thought, approach her flash and touch her flash.
There's two different things.
- It's no, you would never say no, it means it's,
it was in the context.
You weren't there.
- Chuckles, because you did fail your attuning,
I'm gonna have you take one level of damage.
You're gonna have blurry eyes just 'cause the flash
really hit you hard.
And so you're kind of like having a blink.
- Nice, we're close.
All right, so I would put that under one harm.
- One harm, yeah.
- Okay.
- You just got some blurry eyes.
- Okay.
- You know, when you see a right flash,
you still have some spots in there, you're like, ah.
Get those out.
- That was weird.
- All right, so.
- Imagine the old Jimbo boys, how you feel?
- A little confused, chuckles.
- Yeah.
- May I approach your flash?
- You can see all of my flash, my friend.
- Yes, but I want to make sure it's real.
- It is real and it is spectacular.
Touch away, buddy.
I don't understand, don't you have a lot of clothes here
from when you lived here?
- I'm not sure where or what we are right now.
I poke him in the forehead.
- He's real, I mean, you poke him in the forehead.
- Am I real?
- That's the flash test.
- Am I real?
- I think so.
- Did I pass the flash test?
- You're real.
- Yeah, well, I feel like,
I just killed an old lady,
so I don't feel great about that,
but I do feel great about,
wait, can we leave now?
I don't even know.
- I don't know.
- You guys wanna race?
- I wanna go to the hot spa.
- Yes.
- I don't think there is a hot spa.
I think this place is full of shit.
That captain, I think he tried to bring us here.
All right, the red captain, the bad captain.
Remember, I'm the good captain, he's the bad captain.
And I think he tried to bring us here.
- Then the old lady didn't have anything good to say
about the red captain.
- He's a monster and a threat,
and we should definitely take his ship and run.
- And the old lady made him sound like a real turd.
Although we killed her.
- We killed her together.
- Let's go back to the ship and give him a piece of our mind.
There's three of us, only one of him, boys.
- Yeah, but also he might be a supernatural being.
- All right, you give him the flush test.
- I gave him the flush test,
but however, this old lady said that he must be
at least 150 years old.
And he did not look--
- You're afraid of an old frail man?
- He doesn't look old to me.
He's got some powerful fingers.
I could feel him when he touched my scalp.
- But he tussled me.
He tussled you too much, lad.
He shook your head.
- Yeah, he did.
- All right, well--
- He also believed in me.
He also left me, so I'm conflicted.
- It sounds like you've got a lot of conflicting figures
right now.
- Yes, I am.
- But right now, I'm telling you, he's not a good guy.
- Yeah, you sound like the old lady,
and you see what happened to her.
- I mean, she could be all right.
Maybe she went to the afterlife.
- So she did go to heaven.
- I don't know.
Can I attune to see if she's still there?
- Do you wanna put her in a bottle too?
- Is that an option?
- I'm gonna attune.
Sorry, I heard that.
- I think she's saying yes.
- Yes, sir.
- All right.
- You're gonna attune to attune.
And you kind of put yourself back in that state
and you're feeling out, but it's like real,
like you just kind of get zapped like a short circuit.
You kind of blow out your attuning ability for the day.
- Oh, dude.
- I'm not gonna blow this.
I blew out my tuner.
- Huh, I've never seen your attuner work.
- It's kind of an internal mechanism,
kind of like an eternal clock.
- For your failure, you're also gonna take one harm,
level one harm, blurry eyes.
- Blurry eyes.
Again, how long I get blurry eyes?
- Because you failed your attuning and that snap,
that like shock kind of gave you some blurry eyes.
- Behind blurry eyes.
- All right, I should start walking away.
- Yeah, so you leave, you walk through the door
and you get a little bit further along the path
when you do see the ghost of Maggie standing in front of you.
She just kind of appears,
but she's not like threatening or anything.
In fact, she seemed to have a little bit
of a better glow to her.
- How old is she?
- She's young.
She's like how you remember her as a young child.
- Maggie.
- You guys did it.
- Yeah, you're welcome.
Where's your drunk?
I wanna hear some sick beats.
- Oh, I don't really have long hair.
You guys connected my spirit.
I'm moving on, but I did wanna thank you.
I did wanna give you guys something
for all the hard work you did for me.
- Is it money?
- No.
- Is it the deed of the ship?
- Deed?
- It's a hot spring.
- Hot spring?
- Yeah.
- You can give that to us?
- I can show you where it is.
- I thought she was gonna give us like a legit
like metal spring that was just really hot.
(laughing)
- I was like, no way.
- This whole thing was a pun.
- No token.
- Yeah, I know.
I got it.
So she leaves Duke down a garden,
this really lush foresty path,
and you kind of go under some trees
and you get into this cave.
And as you walk into this cave,
you see this beautiful hot springs open up in front of you.
There is some light coming through a cave
and the side of the wall.
The water is warm.
It is a little phosphorus funky smelling,
but it is beautiful, clear water.
- Wow.
- Honestly, juggles.
One who's really prepped for this, jump in.
- Oh, you're talking about the nudity.
Yeah, I'm going.
- You jump?
Yeah, jump into the water, enjoy yourself.
- I think that vaporizing to a cloud.
- No, no.
The water is not harmful in any way.
Squish patches, you just watching?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Come on guys, get in here, it's fine.
- I decide to jump in.
- Come on, no, no.
You can't just jump in with your clothes on.
It's a hotspot.
You gotta take that off.
- No.
- You have to, that's how it works.
- Where's the boat, the rules poster?
- It's just, you never been to a hotspot before?
Oh my God, you're gonna ruin all the,
you're gonna ruin the water
with your nasty ass clothes.
Come on, come on, pop it off.
- It smells like a soup because of onions.
- Just imagine the juggles walking over like,
no, come on, pop it off and you say grab your clothes.
- Come on, let's pop this off and let's go.
Can I sway him?
- Let's get, can I sway him?
- Can I wreck him?
- Can I wreck his poop hole?
- God.
- He's off.
- Oh boy, I did not enjoy that.
- All right, fine.
Just come on, just be a sport and do it right for once.
- No.
- All right, well, I guess I don't know why
I expect anything different.
- I walk, I walk into the water.
- Where are you gonna try and sway him?
Truckles?
- I feel like maybe I shouldn't.
- Okay, all right, so Squish walks into the water
full in clothes, patches?
- I'm already in the water.
- Full in clothes?
- To the untrained eye.
As soon as Truckles looks at me, I just,
all right, hold on, hold on,
and I pull out my pants on the water.
I'm halfway there.
I don't take him as this frog for nothing,
but I keep him in my pants.
- So we've got one naked man,
one completely cold demon,
and one fool-bearing man, is that correct?
(laughing)
- Yeah, I wouldn't be the captain
if I didn't do that at least once.
- So you, three of you are soaking
and you're enjoying the waters, very relaxing.
You all have a moment though,
where you kind of wander off.
It's a very large spot.
So you have some privacy.
- Oh, nice.
- Yeah, and so, well, Truckles, we'll start with you.
When you're standing in the water by yourself,
you feel the presence of someone behind you.
It's not creepy or anything,
but you are suddenly aware
of there's someone behind you.
But when you turn around, there's no one there.
But you hear a voice in your ear,
and it's old Peg, and she's like,
you promised about that fruit juice, right?
The fruit punch, you're gonna let,
you're gonna let people know about it.
- Who is that?
- It's old Peg.
- Are you here?
- I don't have the line, I just, I wanted.
- Are you dead?
- I've been dead before. - Are you in heaven or hell?
- We'll see once I get there.
- Oh, you're like traveling.
- Yeah. - Does it hurt?
- No.
- Are you mad at me?
- Not at all.
- Are you gonna haunt me?
- I'm trying to reward you.
- Really?
With money?
- No.
- Okay.
- Let's just go, let's go through it,
and then we'll decide how we feel about it at the end.
How about that?
- All right, this is very strange.
- Look into the water.
- I look at my feet through the water.
- In your mind's eye, I need you to picture one thing,
one thing if you can get right now, what would it be?
- Oh dear.
Oh, I don't wanna ruin this.
(both laughing)
- It's like, that's how I do it.
I got a little extra guy for you.
- It's just one particularly average onion,
which I can just pull out of my ear at any time, apparently.
I want my best friend, a best friend.
- I want a friend.
- Wow.
- Does it have to be like a real thing,
like a toy boat or something?
- Well, is your friend, no.
She says, okay, we'll make sure you get a friend.
You feel her leave as she's leaving though,
you're filled with this feeling,
and it's very strange and you're not sure what it is,
but you come to realize it's acceptance.
- Oh dear, this is, I can't even put words to it.
- And for a very brief moment,
I'll let you decide how long you want this feeling
to remain with you, but for a moment,
you realize that you are with a group of people
who you would consider your friends.
- So there were, so I had it all along.
- No, no. - So you got chipped out of a wish.
(both laughing)
- Should have gone for the onion.
It's a feeling that lasts with you
and it could stay with you as long as you would like.
- So a newfound confidence.
I want it forever.
- That's a feeling of acceptance.
- Wow.
- Chipped out of our wish.
- Squish, we'll come back to you.
Same thing as you're sitting in the water by yourself,
you feel again, this presence and you turn around,
you don't see anyone, but you hear a voice in your ear
and it's little Maggie and she says,
"I wanna thank you for connecting us
"and allowing me to leave that place.
"My soul was stuck there for so long."
What, anything right now? - Can you see me?
- No, does that make you feel better?
- Yes, yes. - Okay.
No, I can't see you. - Also makes me sad I did not
disrobe.
- Okay.
Look into the water and anything you desire,
you can find there.
What is it that you want more than anything?
- I look deep into the water and think for a second.
And I'm staring.
I go, "I hope to never be able to run out of food."
- Well, make sure your coffers are always full
and she scurries away.
And you have again, this feeling of like intense fullness,
not like you're uncomfortable,
but like complete satiation.
You realize that for at least for some time,
you're not going to be hungry or require thirst.
It's not that you can't eat or you can't find pleasure
for eating, it's not one of those things.
It's not a genie's curse.
But you realize that like, I feel comfortable.
I feel completely full.
- Then a bubble pops up from underneath me.
- Okay, and then patches.
- Yarr.
- You again, you feel this presence behind you.
It's Margaret in your ear.
She says, "I want to thank you for freeing me
from that awful dirty hut that I was left in."
When you look into the water,
you'll find something that you want, greatest wish.
What is it that you?
- I'm a character.
Am I near anybody?
- No, you're by yourself.
- Okay.
I want a wish.
I kind of wish I could be the captain again.
But I need to get back to Lockport.
And that's all I say.
And then I read that.
- She says, "Okay, well, do you want to be the captain
or do you want to get back to Lockport?
'Cause you can have one, but maybe not both."
- Oh, I don't know.
I don't know.
- I don't know.
- All right.
Well, you and I will decide then off camera
what it is that you feel and you can pick one.
- All right.
- But you do come away feeling very satisfied with yourself.
You feel comfortable with the knowledge
that you've been given.
None of you are given anything physical.
These are all feelings that you're left with.
But as you finish in the water, in the spa,
you feel good.
You feel nice.
- All right.
- You guys can stay there as long as you like.
But once you're finished in the sun starting the set,
you decide that you need to leave.
So you get your clothes back on or you just leave the...
Well, I guess you can't put your clothes back on.
You left them on the beach.
Chunkles.
- I feel there's some judgment in that statement there.
- No, I'm just saying that you guys are preparing
to let you go.
I'm just saying that you guys are preparing to leave.
I mean, Squish is still completely soaking
as he gets out of the water and so is Patches.
You're probably in the right spot, honestly.
You can dry off.
Anyway, you get out of the water.
- All right, back to the ship, boys.
- That was the best spring ever.
- Let's go confront that scallywag
who tried leaving us here.
- What's a scallywag?
- Um, it's not a good person.
- Okay.
- It's somebody we want to beat up
and that's the red captain.
He betrayed us, lads.
- Did he?
I mean, he brought us to this spring
and this was the best thing I've done in a long time.
Also, I'm feeling very satisfied
and I think he might be my best friend.
- No, we're your best friends.
- He's your best friend?
- That's what I think the hot spring was telling me.
- I'm so glad you finally found one.
- All right, let's go back to the ship.
Give this captain a pixel of mine.
Listen, let's go talk to him, see what he says,
but I guarantee it, he'll show you blue colors.
- Why are you so angry, Patches?
- Because he's a jag off
and we need to take his ship and get out of here.
- We just had a nice relax and soak.
- Yeah, I'm pretty satiated.
Wait, no, wait, I'm relieved.
Wait, no, I am...
Listen, it worked out for the best, it did,
they really all did.
However, don't forget, we almost got left here
for oblivion, we only got out by the skin of our teeth.
- I think it might've been some kind of
team building exercise.
- It could have been.
- It worked.
- I'm sure you're gonna take that too.
- It could have been a group drum session.
- That's great leadership, now that I think about it.
- I know, and I brought us all together.
- All right, yeah, well, let's go back to the ship.
- That's the one thing we agree on.
I'm starting to get cold.
- Yeah, you got too used to that warm hot spray.
- I can't believe you spent an entire session nude.
- A session and a half, thank you.
- Head back out to the island, no tricks this time,
no hidden anything, you walk back to the shore,
perfectly safe.
- Oh, I hope the ship is still there.
- It is, the ship is still there,
the captain is there waiting for you.
He's got a pretty good buzz going on,
he's been kind of drinking on and off all day.
You know, the sun is going down, so it's been a lot.
And he goes, "Ah, there you are, boys."
I was a little worried.
- Hey, have you been to the spring?
- Oh, the spring, yeah, yeah,
I've been to that hot spring, it's pretty nice, isn't it?
- Hey, wait, wait, hold on, hold on.
We gotta talk to you about something real important,
right to fuck right now.
- Wait, who's the fuck?
- What the fuck did you get that liquor bottle?
- No.
- Squirt, I was like, "What the hell
"did I get you earlier?"
- Yeah, I was drinking it with him.
- Hey, can you let him have it?
- Well, yes. - I appreciate it, I didn't,
I honestly, I--
- Sure you appreciated it, just like you appreciated it.
What, Peg or Margaret?
- Oh, I'm not again.
- Any of those names ring a bell?
- Yes, yes, oh, Margaret, I miss her so much sometimes.
I, well, things didn't end the best between us,
and I kinda left her on the island,
and I was hot headed back then,
and well, when I came back,
the curse is what the curse is, so.
That's why I said-- - Wait, curse,
I have bad news, she's dead.
- Well, I'm not too terribly surprised
by that, it was many years ago.
- No, she died now.
- She was still alive.
- Yeah, she wasn't too happy with you.
- Are you sure she was alive?
- Uh, yeah.
- Did you do the flesh test?
- Yes, I did the flesh test, and she was alive.
She passed the flesh test.
- Number one rule of being a pirate captain,
flesh test everybody.
- Yes, and I asked for consent first,
I think that's the second rule.
- That's amazing.
- I felt the first rule was clean up after yourself.
- No, the only one you're interacting with other people.
I mean, we're talking about,
like this is flesh test protocol, anyway.
Very tired, I'm very sad that she's passed away,
but I hope she's in a better place,
and I hope you guys were able to get her there.
- I knew when I looked at the three of you,
I said there's something about this group,
they'll be able to do the impossible.
- Kill an old lady?
- You just abandoned a person on an island.
- And exactly how old are you anyway?
- Me?
- Yeah, you.
- 63?
- That is not as old as she implied you were.
- The thing about the island is that it's a little,
it's a little goofy with the timing,
so I mean, what may seem like, you know,
like an hour or maybe a day or a year, you know, vice versa.
- How long have we been in there?
- Only half a day, turns out.
- Wait, have you tried this with other people?
- Yeah.
- Why'd you bring us here?
- Is this like your shtick?
Do you bring all the girls here?
- I don't take every girl there,
but I knew you guys had the special something
that could have finally broken the curse.
I tried with other crews
and they just didn't have what it takes,
but the three of you, you showed compassion, motivation.
- What curse?
- Team building, puzzle solving.
Look at you, you're a real go-getter.
- What curse did we break?
- Margaret's curse.
- Oh, there wasn't a curse on you?
- No, why would I curse myself?
- You curse them?
- What's...
- Why did you do that?
- You didn't even try, I just revealed that to you.
- That's awfully cruel, I thought you just left her to die.
- Well, I'm a ghost pirate, you know,
not the best, not the nicest.
I enslaved people after their death.
- Are you enslaving us?
- Only once you die, maybe.
- I told you, Abs, are you grooming us to be ghost crew?
- I think you would all make excellent crew, ghost or not.
- Wow.
- Man, just when I was ready to hate you,
you bring me back in.
- Are you ready to board the ship takeoff,
go to our next stop?
- I am.
- Man, why didn't you go to the spot?
- If you ever ran into one of your exes,
it's really awkward.
- You would have helped make it just like a lot easier
to send her to her death, officially.
- Listen, I think this was really a you thing,
and I think you all did really well.
- How many other crews have tried this?
- I think we did too.
- I think you're a monster, and I don't like this at all,
and goodbye, and I storm off.
- Storm off where?
- To the ship.
- Oh, okay.
- To the bathroom.
- To my new poop shoot.
- Well, disappointing, but he'll come around in time.
You guys, you did great today.
I'm really, really proud of you.
- Are you gonna reward us?
- No, I don't think so.
But hey, what would you like as a reward?
- Oh, I was not prepared for that.
- A best friend.
- Money?
How about this?
Next island we'll go to, we'll do a little raiding party,
a little thievery, we'll split the bounty, whatever,
you know, four ways.
- All right, I'm on, I'm in.
I'm easy. - I'm easy.
- Sounds pretty good, yeah.
- Patches, that sound good to you?
- Go out!
- All right, Patches is on board.
So, next up, thieving party.
- Yes.
- Sounds great, see you all there.
- Thieving, thieving, thieving, thieving, thieving, thieving.
♪ Hail the John Ford boys in the night day room ♪
♪ Southerly wolves with fire and chrome ♪
♪ With a clash and a crash and a twist of fate ♪
♪ Explosions mark the hours never late ♪
- Do you know, do you know what,
talking to, he was at, he was at an interview,
they asked him, and he know what he said, he said,
you know what, I've been asked that question many times,
why didn't they take the eagles, why didn't they take the eagles?
And I answer them every time.
Shut the fuck up.
- He won't.
- I think that's apocryphal.
- Yeah, yeah, it's definitely in the Bible.