[MUSIC]
The Dark Water Weekly, fire in your house and in your heart.
Our crew were gathered in the vault room passing an overjoyed hot man as he set yet
another fine establishment ablaze. The squish remembered that Chuckles had
made gas masks for this purpose. Chuckles remembered that he had forgotten whether he had made
exploding masks or protective masks. So it was a real wild card.
They convinced Lady High Hill to retreat to her room with the chest. Chuckles and Lady High
Hill escaped through the window with Chuckles suffering a few injuries on the way down.
Actually, you landed very well, but then they really biffed, throwing Lady High Hill over.
And so she actually is what's causing your injuries just as a
clear addition. >> Love to, love concussion.
>> Yes, yes, you are suffering from a love concussion.
Hold on, there we go. Chuckles ran back inside to the house where he saved Lord High Hill and told
the real captain of their plight. Patches and squish stayed to fight for the chest.
Despite three of the four gas masks exploding in their favor, it was still a tough battle.
Soon they were backed into a corner with fire behind them and guards between them and their
prize. Suddenly the captain burst in, beard and eyes blazing. He snatched the chest and rescued
his crewmates. As they made a hasty retreat, Lady High Hill warned Chuckles about the true
nature of the harp. It can cause anyone who hears it to obey the player. And now it's in
the hands of a murderous ghost pirate. >> Yeah, but he's our murderous ghost pirate.
We do whatever he asks anyway. Well, not patches, but we pretty much do what he asks anyway.
Even then patches mostly does, but he pitches about the entire time.
>> Six year old kid. >> Hey, man, peer pressure is hell of a drug.
>> Yeah. >> You guys are my peers.
>> Are we? >> In mind, you all have returned to the ship and you made a quick getaway. There was no
stop, no go, just booked it out of the dock. And as you pull away, of course, you see this hill,
the High Hill of their name just completely ablaze a fire and you leave that.
And as the sun dawns the next day, things are a little different on the ship.
So when you guys all came aboard, we can talk about what you did later. But
the captain himself locked himself in his room and hasn't been seen since.
He hasn't come out and been jovial and talking to you guys like he normally is in the mornings.
His door is locked. He's made no attempt to talk to any of you. And all day long, you have been
hearing just the faintest sounds of ukulele drifting through from his cabin. But instead of
the horrible, tanging off key notes he was playing before, he's really good.
>> A ukulele? >> Yeah, the ukulele is really good. In fact,
it's so good, it's almost haunting and menacing. And there's definitely a real tension in the air.
So as you walk around going through your downtime activities, you just hear the faintest,
haunting Hawaiian music is what I would call it. >> All haunting?
>> I'd like the things. >> Yes.
>> I'd like that he's holding it like a violin. >> Are you saying you don't have
an AI representation of that for us? >> I do not, I'm so sorry. I really should have
made one, I guess I could have. It's done everything else so far. Like look at this scary picture I
used for the, I'm pretty proud of this one that I used for the newspaper.
>> That picture is amazing. >> It is.
>> It would only be more perfect if he was actually on fire.
>> Yeah, yeah. We had to work on it for a little bit, but I was impressed. I was very happy with
how it did. Okay, so besides that, you guys are in a downtime activity. So just some general
house cleaning, squish and chuckles, you guys got seven XP points.
>> Oh wait, I gotta get my notebook. I want to write this down. These are always fun.
>> Okay.
>> All right, I can't wait to hear what I got XP for.
>> Among other things, chuckles, you got plus one tinker, plus one prowess, plus two,
oh wait, sorry, plus two tinker, so that's three tinker. It's on two separate pages.
Plus one prowl, plus two tinker. Squish, plus one, I think that survey,
plus one tinker, plus one sway. And, wait, hold on.
>> Wait, what does this mean? That we rolled successfully on two different tinker rolls?
>> Yes. >> Okay, all right.
>> So this is over the course. >> I thought you were giving me two more
dice for every tinker roll. >> No, no, no. These are just the different things.
I used to leave better notes for this. Yeah, sway patches, you got plus one command, plus one,
yeah, so anyway, Squish and Chuckles both got seven XP patches, you got five XP.
>> Five XP. >> And Lola.
>> Wait, how many did I get? >> Seven.
>> Hell yeah. Did I get any XP for winning that woman over to my heart?
>> You did win a lot of sway points. You did sway her a couple times.
You proud pretty well. And plus you survived actually a surprising number of falls,
which I think really goes into your cat-like behavior.
>> Yeah. Famously. >> Famously.
>> Well, I never thought of myself as particularly cat-like before.
>> Yeah, well, you don't like cat food. >> So I eat a little bit of cat food.
>> Well, and you know, you clean yourself by looking. Other things.
>> Don't give them any ideas. >> Wait, that works?
>> Your crew, your entire crew upgraded. So you guys got three XP points. So you did upgrade.
And I do remember that you wanted an extra mastery. That's what you're going to get.
So you guys could add an extra point to your abilities.
>> Hell yeah. Unstoppable. >> Yes, yes. Let's see. Is it mastery?
>> Mm-hmm. >> Better? Oh.
>> Sorry, I'm looking forward to the upgrade as on the list.
>> Did you say for drunk driver? I mean, designated driver? Or is it drunk driver?
>> Didi? >> Yeah.
>> It stands for damn, damn. >> Okay.
>> I thought it was Didi, dog. >> Hold on.
Hold on, there. >> Where do you see Didi yet?
>> The monkey? >> No.
>> You know the monkey that you share a mind with?
>> No, I know the ape I share a mind with. >> Is that an ape?
>> She is an ape. >> She's never been an ape.
You just keep saying it. >> Isn't she a chimpanzee?
>> One click. >> Look at the picture. Send me Didi's picture.
>> Let me see. >> There's no share button.
>> Oh, I might have Didi's picture on my old laptop.
Damn, dirty ape. >> There we go.
>> There we are. >> Yep.
>> Ape. >> Man.
>> So I'm still not over how cool that fucking monkey is.
>> Apes are monkeys. >> No.
>> No, they're not chimps. >> Chimps are apes.
>> Are apes monkeys? >> No.
>> No. >> Apes are not monkeys.
>> I just told you that. >> Well, I didn't believe you,
so I looked it up on the internet and it turns out you were right.
>> Is it a tail thing? >> Yeah.
>> Is it because they have tails? >> Yeah, monkeys have tails, apes do not.
>> Is one characteristic difference? >> All you know. How many monkeys smoke cigarettes?
>> Let me type that into Google. >> Oh, my God.
>> How many monkeys smoke cigarettes? >> Generating.
>> I sent all the ones in the time rating. >> Generating.
>> Of 14 monkeys studied, two have engaged in voluntary smoking for two years or longer.
>> That means two out of 14. That means 15% of monkeys smoke.
>> I don't, am I shocked that it's that low or that high?
>> Well, you know, this is why I come to these, so for the learning.
>> Oh, no. Initially 14 monkeys were trained to suck air and puff on cigarettes,
using sweetened liquor and reinforcers. This is unbelievable. I have to buy this study.
Doesn't look like it took place in America.
>> We just test our cigarettes on people. >> Yeah, and our lipstick on pigs.
Wait, that's not what I wanted to paste. >> Also people.
Pigs are not people. >> Pigs are definitely not people.
>> It's a hot take.
Hey, look at this. We got a message. Mastery.
>> Yeah. >> I'm trying to figure out how to add that.
>> Yeah, I still can't. >> It's like I see it.
So, okay, hold on. Let me, yeah. Maybe you can other, you know, administrative GM.
So, I click on the team, right? I go to the effects, cool, mastery. I go to mess around with it.
And then I go to edit. >> Yeah.
>> And I can't or I add it and I can't. >> Well, it's in our team already.
>> Yeah. Yeah, but I'm trying to make sure I don't know how to turn it on so that you guys all.
>> Well, we're in the, are we in the group? >> Oh.
I don't know how we add people to this group.
Cohort? Would it be a cohort? >> It says.
>> Happy 30th episode, by the way. >> 30th.
>> 30th, yeah. >> Well, for this arc.
>> This story. >> Or this setting, I guess.
>> Yeah. Blades. >> Oh, that's kept, if it's Clyde.
He's not in our crew. Can you just add mastery to each one of us?
>> That's what I was hoping. No, I'm not sure. And.
>> Oh, mastery is not an item. I don't know how the system works.
>> Yeah. >> Perfect. That's fresh.
>> Here it says crew name. Oh, you can add it on people's sheets.
>> Okay. >> So if you go to patches sheet,
there's a field for crew name. It's under name, then heritage.
>> Okay. >> On his crew name.
>> Got it. >> I guess I'll join your crew.
>> Okay. Yeah. >> All my stuff.
Oh, yeah. Just update that tinker right now. Don't even think about anything else.
>> You are the master tinker. >> Yeah, master tinker.
>> Master tinkler. >> Yeah.
>> Okay. So, yeah. It now gave you guys that, it unlocked that fourth ability point. So if you
wanted to really, really, we're going out on everything you got.
>> As fast as you should have an upgrade to. >> Huh?
>> You have an upgrade. >> Yeah, your upgrade is being a jerk.
>> Like everyone should have an upgrade point.
>> Oh, really? So we can upgrade right now? >> Yeah.
>> Fucking hell. Yeah. >> So do I have to take anything down?
>> Your abilities need to reset to zero, but. >> Zeroed out. Now, master tinker.
>> So you're saying I should try to add another ability?
>> Yeah, or you can either add a point onto the insight, prowess, or resolve abilities,
or you can add a special ability. You can do either. I think you only have one.
>> What are the red blades next to like prowess?
>> No. >> All right.
>> There's something. >> I'll try to think about it too much.
>> Can I add to my rec? >> Yeah.
>> No. >> Just press one to rec.
>> Absolutely, you cannot. >> All right. I'm just adding one to my rec.
>> Cool. >> I have four tinker, three prow, three rec.
>> You're real. >> Nothing in anything else?
>> I'm a real creep. Yeah. >> I'm a real creep.
>> You're basically like if the Tasmanian devil was also a scientist.
>> There must have been a character like that in Tasmania.
>> Yeah. >> A real creep, probably.
>> No, a smart one. >> Oh.
>> Like sometimes he's like, you know, they make Tas like the doctor or something and he's just like
he's got like little like doctor's hat on and his little coat. >> The mirror. >> Yeah.
>> I got to be. >> I took an extra one in sway.
>> No. Brandon, you took, oh wait, you took a rec, right?
>> Yeah, I took another rec. I need some way. >> Holy crap. So you have four sway.
>> Yeah. >> I'm not trying to convince you not to do it.
I guess I just don't imagine Squish is being very much sway in his character.
>> Well, you never really give it much of a chance because then you just,
someone just sets it on fire. >> I don't think that's true. You just shoot people all the time.
>> Who gave you a gun in this one? >> Yeah, how did you get a gun? Did you ever get a gun?
>> You did. He's got a gun and a rifle. >> I've gone too far.
>> And that just could be used for destruction, like a gun.
>> Or exploded masks. >> I was too preoccupied with if I could do it.
I never stopped to think if I should do it. >> Just watch now, exploding masks are going to
be going up on the market. >> I'm going to make so much money from that.
You guys made fun of me, but I feel like there's so many applications.
>> I feel like it's going to be like Kramer's fragrance millions where, you know,
someone else is going to market this. >> Who wants to smell like the beach?
>> Who wants an exploding mask? >> Anyone with enemies? Oh yeah, I forgot about
Tawney. >> Again.
>> I'm sitting on the deck arguing about whatever it is. You realize that Tawney is standing there,
and he's looking at the three of you who are relatively battered and bruised. He said,
he reminds you that he is getting his internship. He's a doctor, well, he's a nurse.
He was going to school to study, you know, healing.
>> And before or after he met us. >> And then we got him fired.
>> Well, no, he was working at that bar to make ends meet, and then he just decided to
abscond off with you. The point of that is to say is that if you do need healing,
besides chuckles, who can do some healing, remember you have the inability.
>> Yeah, I have body tinkering. >> Yes.
>> Body tinkering. >> So everyone gets a plus
D to their healing treatment roles. Yeah, he is your doctor. We're going into downtime,
so you guys can do two downtime activities, whether you want to work on a project or heal
or reduce your stress. To also kind of facilitate this, you guys pull into a small island.
It's not, it's just kind of like, it is the rest stops of islands in the sea.
>> It's just sea cases. >> Where there's just like,
>> It's the sea cases. >> Where there's just like, one shop,
one restaurant, maybe like two different bars, but it's pretty dead here.
Which you can also, if you would prefer to go explore that as well. But the show is yours,
because the captain has locked himself in his room and refuses to see anyone.
Tony looks at the three of you and goes, goddamn, you look like shit.
>> Yeah, thanks for the help back there. >> Yeah, where were you, Tony?
>> On the boat where you left me. Nobody told me what was going on.
>> Yeah, we did almost play on the boat. >> Yeah, you were almost falling along.
>> Glory eyes. >> I feel like I woke up really hung over
and completely forgot that I had brought you home. >> Yeah, well, I'm here. I've been just
been hanging out with the monkey all evening. >> She's an ape.
>> Talked about this, don't discriminate. >> Yeah.
>> I'll be breaking you. >> We don't really want you to be with the monkey.
>> Yeah. >> Well,
there's not much else here on the boat. In fact, there's nobody here. Have you guys noticed that?
There's nobody here. >> Yeah, he employs ghosts.
>> Yeah, we got ghosts. >> Yeah, we got ghosts.
>> Okay, well, did someone tell you that in the bedroom directly below us, it looks like a bomb
went off? >> It better not be my bedroom.
And I've run down to my bedroom. >> And it is indeed your bedroom that he's
referring to, that this is normal. >> No.
>> A level of mess. >> God damn it. You damn dirty apes. They blew it all the hell.
But yeah, you guys are free to explore, get some healing, do what you want.
>> Oh yeah, that's nice. >> Yeah.
>> Yeah, my bedroom done blowed up. >> No, I think it's just the way that it looks all the time.
Everyone else thinks it's exploded. >> Wait, is that true? Was he just making
fun of my organization skills or did some kind of nasty explosion happen?
>> No, no, you do a quick survey and you realize that everything's exactly where it needs to be.
And to you, it looks perfectly organized, but to anyone who passes it, it does look like
there's been an explosion. >> I thought maybe I left some chemicals
without the lids on it and something exploded while I was gone, maybe a small fire.
>> I was just referring to the general dirtiness of your ship.
>> Oh, you're good. >> Of your room.
>> All right, patches, what are you up to? You get back aboard the ship.
>> I'm kind of trying to, I don't know what I'm doing right now, honestly. I'm kind of.
>> Well, when we left you, you were just rocking back and forth in the corner of your bathroom,
I mean, bedroom. >> Yeah, that was last night, that was last night.
So I probably recovered from that. I am on the top.
>> Yes, this is where you were. >> Completely over it.
>> Sorry, main deck. >> Yeah, I'm on the main deck just looking
over the ocean, just kind of taking it all in.
Wondering what we're gonna do next. Who's around me? Where's the other two?
>> Well, we'll find out. Squish, Chuckles, you have an idea of what you'd like to do during your
downtime? >> I am going to make a baked Alaska
and try to give it to the captain. >> Okay.
>> Can you please tell our audience, the people who are listening,
who might not know what a baked Alaska is? Can you please let them know?
>> It's a dessert that you flambé. >> So it's not a fish?
>> It's not a fish, no, but you light it on fire. >> Like what?
>> And I wash? No. >> Where's the fish from?
>> Who says anything about a fish? >> I don't know, I thought, I always thought it was a fish.
>> No, I don't know why. >> Alaska?
>> Okay, no. >> There's also bears in Alaska and oil.
>> So is it made of bears or oil? >> No.
>> I'm sorry. >> See how stupid your thought process is?
>> I'll be right back. I got a pee real quick. I'm so sorry.
>> It's okay, you're not gonna miss much. We're gonna get to talking about fish and desserts.
>> All right, I'm sorry. Continue. >> I also thought at one time in my life,
a baked Alaska was like a fish thing. >> Oh, really?
>> Yeah, so suck it. >> Like a baked cod or something like that?
>> Like a Ludifisk? >> Yeah, well, yeah, something like that.
But I know I've since learned it is actually a dessert.
>> So have I. >> Okay.
>> We've all learned. >> That's two things I've taught Tiger today.
>> What was the first? I already forgot it. >> Chimpanzees are not monkeys.
>> I refuse to learn that. >> No, you already did.
>> No, you keep telling me that and I keep forgetting it and unlearning it.
>> So anyway, I'm making the baked Alaska because I want to light it on fire in front of the captain
because he likes to be on fire apparently. >> So go ahead and that is your stress release.
>> Yes. >> So you're gonna roll one, your prowl
and however many points you get, you get reduced stress because that really is what's bothering you.
Now you have an extreme amount of stress. >> Yes, I have to roll prowl though.
>> It's your weakest one, yeah. >> Well, that's not good.
>> Holy crap. Is this a baked Alaska? >> Wait, hold on.
>> Yes. >> Sorry, it's not prowl. It's prowl-west is the one you're rolling.
>> Okay. >> Wait, sorry.
>> Let me look at this. Resolve, it's resolve. I take it back, sorry.
It's the ones on the side. It's not a pass or fail, it's just a numbers thing.
Sorry, resolve. >> Well, that's worse.
>> Yeah, so you reduce one stress. >> And I suffer five stress.
>> Because it's too rigid. >> Why?
>> I don't know. >> So much stress.
>> I don't know what we did, but this is not accurate. I'm just gonna take it.
>> You did. >> You reduce one stress, yeah. You die.
The baked Alaska goes badly. >> Well, I am not giving it to the captain then.
>> It succumbs to another baked Alaska. >> It's like a souffle you take it out
of the oven and it just- >> It just blows up in your face.
>> Okay. >> Your face is covered in molten Alaska.
>> Reduce stress. One stress. Poorly baked Alaska.
>> Can I do it again? >> Yeah, go ahead.
>> I'm gonna try doing it again. >> All right, that's better.
>> There you go. All right.
Maybe not suffer the additional stress. So this time you remake the baked Alaska and it's much
nicer now. >> All right, now I'd like to give it to the captain.
All right, so you go to his activate that. You go to outside the door of his room.
And again, it's just music playing and it's just constant. It's just constant ukulele music.
You knock on the door and you don't get an answer.
>> Captain, captain, I brought you dessert. It's a baked Alaska. I'll let you set it on fire.
>> The music stops for a second when you say on fire, but then the music keeps going again.
>> There's gonna be so much fire. >> Are you attempting to sway him to open the door?
>> Yes. >> Okay.
>> Turns out he's really good at sway. >> I know it may not sound like it,
let's say it's so much fire. >> Yeah, so the music stops and
or at least slows down and the door opens just a very small crack. And from what you can see,
the captain standing there, he looks normal. He looks like his absolute normal self.
>> Okay, so he shrunk a little bit and extinguished his face.
>> Yes, he looks like back to his normal, non giant bearded flame of fire.
>> Pissed off self. >> Pissed off self.
>> Yeah, he's just completely normal and he looks down at the baked Alaska and he goes, oh,
I thought it was a fish. >> No, I don't know why people keep thinking that
so far all you've made for me is monk fish. >> No, I think there was an angler fish in there too.
>> You see where I thought the fish was coming in.
>> Right, yeah, but no, no, no, this is a dessert. And you can light it on fire because I saw that
you were lit on fire during that last mission. So I thought it would be cool.
>> Would be cool. Come on in. And he opens his cabin door. He allows you to walk inside,
but he immediately shuts it afterwards. You don't see the chest with the harp or anything in it.
You just see it. It looks like his normal room. Things are put away neatly. It's a clean space.
But it is just the two of you. And he sits you down at his large dining room table that he has
in his bedroom. >> Can you teach Chuckles how to organize?
>> No, I fear Chuckles problem isn't an organizational skill.
>> What is his problem then? >> Well, it's not organization.
>> Fair. >> Fair.
>> The boy likes what he likes. I can't convince him otherwise.
So what do we do? We light this? >> Yeah, he got a match or a lighter or a gun?
>> He has candles kind of everywhere. And he just takes one of the candlesticks. And he just,
I'm not quite sure how this baked Alaska and how you will flame it. So why don't he hands the candle to
you? >> Well, I just tipped the plate with the Alaska over. So the liquor piles up on the side.
And I put the flame to it and it just engulfs it. And it gives a nice golden crust onto the
meringue. >> This dessert kind of catches into like,
and at one point it's completely engulfed and flame. And for just a moment while you're watching this
squish, the captain's looks like his, for a moment kind of grows and he kind of becomes
stale-faced. And you realize that you're seeing him as he was the night of the fire.
But it's just for an instant. The minute the fire dies out, he's back to his jovial looking self.
>> So what was with that? >> What was with what? Congratulations. And he like clapped.
>> No, no, no, thank you. Thank you. I usually don't tell people to stop clapping. But
why did you grill for a split second there like you did at the fire?
>> Yeah, handy. Asking the hard-hitting questions.
>> The captain's kind of just stares at you and he's like, I don't, nothing happened. I was here
the whole time. Nothing's changed. Should we dig in? Do you want some?
>> Yeah, I'll have a couple bites, I guess. >> He takes out like a really, from seemingly out of
nowhere. He pulls out a very beautiful butter knife with metal engraving carved on the side.
And he has bone china on this table and he cuts a small piece for you and he puts it out and
he cuts a small piece for himself. And he takes it and he has coffee. He offers you a coffee as well.
And he goes, you know, Squish, you don't really seem to talk about yourself like some of the others.
You're from Teacher Rose? >> No, not, I mean, my family is, but I was born in,
I forgot the name of the place. >> Dustfall. I thought you were from here.
>> Dustfall, yeah. >> Blockboard.
>> But I was born in Dustfall, unfortunately. So I would really like to make it back to the
you know, the family land. >> Yes, well, it's quite a place. I've been
to Teacher Rose a few times. That's a very strange way of messing with your head. Have you ever heard
of an usher? >> An usher?
>> An usher field? >> No.
>> Oh, well, you're gonna have a lot of fun with that. I bet that's gonna just be a great surprise
for everybody here. >> I don't like that. >> Yes. It's a beautiful place. It's a very surreal,
nothing quite like Dustfall. Of course, I myself was not raised in Dustfall. I was raised in the
dagger aisles, but you know. >> Of course.
>> Been there a few times. They say once you've been to Dustfall, once you've
have been to it a million times. >> Yeah, it really is kind of shitty, isn't it?
>> It is kind of a dump spill. That is true. >> Yeah, when you were there, did you happen to
see a fort on top of a creek? >> A fort on top of a creek. I didn't say that I had.
>> In the middle of the city. It was really weird. >> I'm sure it was. I passed through it very
briefly. Well, after you remember, Patches betrayed me. Yes.
>> Oh yeah, I forgot about that whole thing. You should probably forget about that whole thing too.
>> Well, you know, I will let bygones be bygones, but well,
this has been wonderful cake and wonderful discussion, but I'm sure you're quite busy.
>> No, not really. >> Well, I know. And he gently like escorts you
to the door and very nicely is just like, thank you so much for the baked Alaskan.
I will try to remember it in the future. >> You're welcome.
Good job picking up the ukulele. Sounds better. >> Oh, thanks. I've been practicing.
And he shuts the door and as soon as he shuts the door, the music starts playing again.
Like supernaturally quickly. It just like, boom, music starts.
Patches, you've been out enjoying the fresh air. >> Yeah.
Yeah, I go back to my room. >> Okay.
>> Yeah, I'm gonna go back to my room. And I bang on the wall and out comes a book.
And it's how to be a ghost captain for dummies. >> Okay.
>> So I start reading it. So I'm not a dummy. And I'll try to get some relaxation going.
Also, I bang another wall and a bottle of whiskey falls out for the relaxation.
Two vices at once. >> Yeah, just sitting on the toilet with my
feet in the air and a bottle. >> Three vices at once.
>> Yeah, and a book in my hand. >> You're gonna roll your prowess.
>> Right. >> Yep.
That prowess. >> How do I do that?
>> So you go work as actions, resistance. >> Oh, I'm sorry. I saw this. I didn't see it there.
All right, roll. Success. >> Okay. So yeah, you'll reduce your seven stress if you have it.
>> You had seven stress? >> No, you didn't have seven.
>> Oh, okay. >> I had two damage.
>> Two damage? >> Yeah.
>> Who's stress you mean? >> No, I got two damage.
>> Okay. >> For me last week. One because I was winded and one from an uppercut.
>> I'll take notes. >> Who uppercut you?
>> One of the guards. They take that kind of notes.
All I have is one damage, uppercut. >> This is reducing your stress, which is different.
>> Okay, well, whatever. Do I have stress? I don't even think I have stress. I think I'm a smooth
as a cucumber here. I have one stress. >> You have one stress. Okay, so you're gonna overindulge.
>> Yeah, I'm gonna overindulge and pass out on the toilet.
>> Yeah, okay. We'll do that. Yeah, so you, well, tell me about your sleepy self.
>> My what? >> So you just, you pick up a book, you put your feet up in this hammock,
you start drinking, and I think you kind of just fall asleep there.
>> Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Reading the book about keeping your captain from getting heartburn.
That's what I'm reading from this book. >> Keeping your captain from getting heartburn, okay.
>> It's a, look, it's captain repair for dummies.
>> Well, since you overindulged, I'm gonna have you take another level one harm.
>> Does he fall out of his hammock? >> I'll let you pick. What do you want your level one harm to be?
>> Hem over. >> Yeah, I fell, I like the mix. I'm hungover and I'm hanging from a hammock.
Which I had a hammock in here. >> What is this?
>> I'm gonna say, yeah, so level one damage, hammocked over. >> Hammocked over. Level one damage,
hammock damage. >> So you should have level two, which is the winded, right? Winded in uppercut,
and then level one. >> All right, all right, all right. So I try to leave the bathroom. I've got
the hammock wrapped around my legs and my ankles and all that, and I'm just like pulling it, and I
rip it off the wall, roll it around my shoulders like I'm kind of like I'm like a towel. And I start
walking around the ship kind of like I'm just woke up, you know, like looking for a cup of coffee.
Where is Daryl Juckles? >> Just go to someone else.
>> I'm just gonna go and meet somebody else.
>> Well, you don't think, if you can't handle me at my worst, you can handle me at my best.
>> It's not very much different. >> Wow, wow, wow.
>> Where have you gone when's everybody kind of split up?
>> Oh, I'm not brooding. I'm moping. I'm under deck. I'm just being in my room,
which someone told me was a bomb. And I'm just moping because basically,
what's her name? Lady Highhill, she just let me down easy. And yeah, I'm just kind of moping around
there. >> It's a really big room. >> It's that part of just as a reminder.
>> Oh, yeah. >> Because patches took the janitors closet.
Squish, I remember you taking a room near the kitchen.
>> I think I sleep in the kitchen. >> Yeah, you sleep in the kitchen.
The room that Chuckles is in is meant for the entire crew.
>> But no one else sleeps there, so I just took it over.
>> Nobody's there but you. It's this front part of the ship where there's like hammocks and places
to lay down. It's meant to be the crew's quarters and everyone else sleeps everywhere else.
But yeah, so in my downtime, I'm just sort of like laying with my face buried in a pillow.
I just got done putting my heart out there and jumping into fires and jumping out of windows
and saving little goblin men. And now I'm just sort of moping.
>> He's a little burned out. >> I'm tired. I'm burned out.
>> It's a lot of stimulation for a lad like you.
>> Yeah, I can only take so much stimulation. >> I imagine the conversation just start picking
up and I'm just hanging around talking to you. >> Oh, you just came in?
>> Yeah. >> Just picking stuff up, just pretending like
you came in for something but you just were forward.
>> No, I'm drinking from a mug. I just woke up in the morning and it's their steam off the mug.
>> Yeah, you still have the hammock kind of wrapped around you as you come in.
>> Yeah, like a towel or a robe or some kind of elaborate bright.
>> A toga? >> A toga, yeah. Yeah, so, yeah, so.
>> Why you lad? Yarr. >> What do you want? What do you want?
>> I was just coming to see how you're doing. >> And I'm on the bed. My head is just buried in
the pillow. >> Oh, poor lad. You really liked your hot demon, Mama.
>> Yeah, maybe a little bit. >> She was nice. She was nice.
>> It was the oddest thing anybody has ever seen. >> I bet you she draws you a pretty
young picture in a letter. >> What?
>> Because of the, well, because you're illiterate. >> Yeah, that's probably why she doesn't want to
be with me. I can't even fucking read. >> Well, we've been talking about this all
this season about you possibly learning how to read. >> Yeah, it's so hard. I feel like
that's the thing you learn when you're little and then if you don't learn it, then you'll never learn it.
>> No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Here, look, I've got my captain repair for dummies.
>> I don't want to learn how to repair a captain. >> No, it's the book I was given
why when I was a wee lad trying to learn how to read. It's a very good book. I've taken a lot of notes.
>> It can be true. >> It has to be true. >> Why?
>> Because I'm very drunk. And I always do drunk what you said you do sober. That way, you're never a liar.
>> All right. Thanks, I guess. Why don't you even hear, what are you wearing? You're covered in rope.
Did you get stuck in a trap? >> I got hammocked this morning.
>> What does that mean? >> It's been a rough morning for us both, lad.
But I think we have to be, I think we have to rally.
>> What? >> I think this morning.
>> What do you mean rally? >> Well, you know,
I don't, I don't, I'm pretty freaked out by this captain fella. That's a red captain
adric, Mr. Fitz Clyde. >> You know, my, my ex,
she, she was, she talked a little bit about the red captain.
>> Oh, anything nice? >> No, turns out.
>> Oh, turns out, no. >> Yeah, she said that we shouldn't let him have the harp.
>> I don't think we should let him have anything. We should take the whole ship and the harp with it.
>> Yeah. >> But, but, but I know I have a tendency to
want to just mutiny the first thing I see. >> Yeah.
>> So it's a, it's a bad habit I've developed. All right. I'm working on it.
>> The mutiny habit? >> The mutiny habit. I'm working on new habits,
improving myself, you know. Have you ever heard of this part of the palmadorrow technique?
It's where you do something. >> Isn't that a tomato?
>> It's when you do something 25, 20, tawny, just like just in that title.
>> It's when you do something for 25 minutes a day. I've been trying not to 20,
I've been trying not to mutiny for 25 minutes a day to see if I can get better at not doing it.
>> Yeah, well, you didn't do that. You just tried to mutiny.
>> No! >> You're not very good at this.
You just said we should steal all of the red captain's possessions. He should know,
he should not be allowed to have properties, what you said.
>> I'm just saying I've been practicing it for 25 minutes a day. It's not been that 25 minutes
right now. >> Oh, it was 25 minutes before that.
>> I'm on a break. >> Okay.
>> So he's back on the table, boys. >> Well, yeah, it was just kind of weird.
It was the first time that anyone ever said anything bad about the red captain.
>> All I'm saying is the red captain, he's killed people, a lot of people. And I've killed people
too, and you've killed people, but no one has killed people. >> I've never killed anyone.
>> Right. Well, you know, I just wanted to make sure you didn't feel left out. We're good friends.
>> Well, I don't know. >> The red captain, he kills his crew members, lad.
He doesn't keep them around for long, at least not until they outlive their usefulness.
>> Didn't you kill crew members? >> No, I mutinied.
>> I needed to keep them after their usefulness? >> What?
>> As in the ghosts? >> Well, I mean.
>> You're not here. >> After their living usefulness.
>> It weans around the corner halfway through baking this Alaska.
>> Like a mom when she's still got the big bowl. >> Yeah.
>> The ghosts we still use to this day, not useful, I'd say they're useful.
>> Ghosts? >> I'm saying like they're ghosts.
They're, he murders them. I mean, he turns them into freaking ghosts.
>> Well, he hasn't murdered us yet. >> He is the ghost pirate.
>> I mean, not yet. >> Don't shoot him again?
>> But he was real pissed about it. >> Don't you want to be a ghost pirate?
>> No, I mean, I want to have ghosts, but I want to have like a collection of different ghosts.
>> So you want to be a ghost? >> No, I mean, maybe someday, if my grades
are good enough. >> I'll make you a ghost.
>> What does that even mean? Are you threatening me?
>> Are you going to tinker him into a ghost? >> No, I'm just moody.
>> Just put on this mask. >> I'm just moody.
Oh, lad. So what are you doing? Are you playing in your blanket?
>> What? Am I playing into my blanket? >> Are you playing in your blanket?
>> What is that? Is that masturbation? >> I'm asking, what are you doing right now, damn it?
>> You know damn well what I'm doing. I'm just being moody. Look at me.
I've raised my head from the pillow, and you can just see my mascara has run all down my face.
You didn't even know I wore eyeliner and mascara. That's how they make my eyes pop.
>> I look at you with just the saddest look of, oh, poor lad.
And I give you a tail end of my hammock to wipe your face with.
>> Thank you. Thank you. Oh, I patted off. >> At this time, I'd like to walk in with my failed baked
Alaska to give them. >> Failed. I don't remember. How was it failed?
Wasn't it on your face because it didn't explode into your face?
>> No, the merangeous fell. >> Whoa. Is that an Alaska? It looks delicious.
>> Wow. >> It looks so good. It's baked.
>> It looks amazing. >> It's not so baked now.
>> It's amazing. >> Thank you. Did you know there's no fish in these?
>> I knew that. I knew there was, I knew it's just made out of Alaskans.
>> That's worse somehow. >> I really only want fish.
>> Have you tried this? >> No.
>> I start chowing down. >> It tastes really good with mascara.
>> I feel like that's, you're mocking me. >> Yes, a little bit.
>> That's rude. >> That's fact.
>> You know, I'm going through a real tough time right now.
>> I have no idea what you're going through. >> You haven't told him at all.
>> That's right. That's the truest thing you've ever said.
Nobody has any idea what I'm going through. >> Are you upset over the Lady High Hill?
>> Yeah. The hottest thing to ever walk this planet, this made-up planet we're on.
Yes, I'm upset about that. She showed just a little bit of interest in me. I was very excited.
And then she kissed me on the top of the head and sent me on my way.
>> Wait, she tussled your hair? >> No, she didn't. I didn't even get to,
I didn't even get to first base, which is tuzzling your hair.
>> Oh, well, I think it's funny that she thought you had a chance.
You thought it's funny. >> She did have a chance.
Lady was very into him. I saw it. >> No, she was not.
>> Where's she? >> Oh, my God. I immediately started crying again.
>> Where's she going back to the kitchen? >> I buried my head back into the bill.
And I started kicking my legs. >> Chuckles. No, no, no. I saw her.
She was very infatuated with you. >> I just, how could you?
>> I looked for somewhere to put the baked Alaska to see how it's a bomb.
I just dropped the plate. >> It's all right, lad. It's all right.
Squish, do you have an onion on you? >> No, I need dessert.
Why would I have an onion? >> Did someone say onion?
>> Get the lad an onion. Quick, he needs it. >> I give him a shallot.
>> Oh, my God. >> What the hell is a shallot?
>> Like a small onion. >> Really? Is this an onion?
>> Yeah. >> I'm popping it in my mouth.
>> Is it a shallot bite-sized? >> Yes.
>> All right, fine. But it's not gonna make me happy.
>> So why did you eat it? >> It could have used that for dinner.
>> It would have been rude to refuse. >> I'm pretty sure.
>> Refuse the baked Alaska? >> Yeah, because I realized it wasn't fish.
>> But onions are not fish? >> It isn't.
>> Yeah, no, it's a fish, you're right. >> All right, thank you.
>> I'm pretty sure eating strange foods is also one of your stress reducers.
>> Yes, I knew that the whole time. >> Gee, thank you.
>> Yeah, so you're gonna roll your resolve and see how much stress you take.
>> How much stress do you have? Probably zero. >> I don't think it's that strange.
>> To eat a shallot whole? You didn't even peel it.
You ate it like it was an apple. >> What are you talking about? I have three
stress. >> Okay.
>> What even is a fucking shallot? All right, so I have to roll prowess.
Or whichever is the lowest, I don't know. >> Yours is the lowest, which is resolve.
>> I have nothing in resolve. >> Yeah.
>> I have confessions. I don't know how to roll resolve.
>> You go to action. It's under resistance. >> Yeah, I had the same problem with prowess.
>> Oh, I see it now. All right. That's garlic. >> No, there's a shallot.
>> You're a shallot. >> You're a harlot.
>> Yeah, so you can reduce your stress by three. >> Do it.
>> Do it. >> Do it.
>> I have one more project I wanted to start, but just come back to me.
>> Okay. So that whole heartwarming moment of you guys trying to cheer up
chuckles and bringing in the bass galax and all this, from a distance, the captain overhears all of
this. And for one moment, he is moved. He has this moment where he's just like,
my boys. And then, so everyone's gonna just reduce one level of harm that they have.
So if you have a level one, it can be erased. If you have a level two, you can go down to level one.
But that was a heartwarming moment that healed all of your souls just a little bit.
>> Are we somewhere on this page? >> You might not be.
>> Me and Patches are. I don't see. >> Yeah.
>> Oh, okay. They were so small. >> No, you just got added.
>> Oh. >> I just added you.
>> Cool. >> Yeah. So yeah, reduce. Brandon,
what stress are you reducing? >> I had a level one harm I got rid of.
>> Cool. I had blurry eyes from flash. So I got rid of that. I still have my level two love concussion.
>> I got rid of my bloody nose. >> Oh, was that from me? Or was that from Lady High Hill?
Or was it something else? >> No, I think it was when one of the guards
tackled me. >> Oh, okay.
>> You guys want to take a break?
[MUSIC]
>> So, Bridget, if I give three damage, how do I get rid of those? Because I have
stress, damage, and harm, right? So I'm kind of confused with which one I have.
>> So you don't have, yeah. So you have, you need to go to a healer.
>> I see. >> Tony. Tony is a healer.
>> Where is Sir Tomford? >> You find Tony on the main deck.
>> He's still mad at you. >> You don't know that.
>> He's not. >> It's a good guess.
>> He's always liked me. >> And now?
>> No, he's never liked any of you. >> And now I'm one of him.
>> But he doesn't particularly hate one of you more. Although I think if he finds out that
if Trebles was actually, what was his name? Harry Stix or something like that?
>> Oh, no. >> What was my name?
>> Harold Sacks. >> Oh, no, Harold Sacks.
That wasn't, oh, that was, the captain was Harold Sacks.
>> Oh, well, it was Corey. >> Yeah, that's right.
>> Corey Trevor. >> Well, if you think so,
that it's you were the one that tied his shoes together and caused him to fall in the most
embarrassing way and lose his job, he might be mad.
>> Corey Trevor from the boy band. >> That was pretty good though.
It was a great prank. You would appreciate it in time.
>> So I walk up and I'm still wearing the hammock wrapped around me and Tony.
>> Yeah, so Tony, instead of rolling, you see him doing this motion and you think he's rolling
up rope or something, but it's just a roll of bandages. He's just rolling up.
>> Hey, Tonfer, Tony, Tonma man, hey, Tonster, Tonster, the Tonner, Tonner tortilla.
Listen, I need some help here. I am damaged.
>> Imaged. >> Yeah, and I walk up,
I'm still drinking from my mug, which is still steaming.
Yeah, I took a little bit of hit the other day, a little bit of this, a little bit of that,
a little bit of an uppercut, and I could really use some heelage.
>> Okay. >> He looks at you and he's like,
okay, I can try and help you for this. Just have a seat here and he sits you down in this chair.
>> So how you been? I imagine it's like me getting a haircut now, where I'm like, now I'm
using the wrapping, the blanket, the hammock around me like it's the guy getting the haircut.
>> So yeah, yeah, Tony's kind of moving around you. He's like lifting up your hairline,
looking at all your bruises and your cuts, and he's like, checks your teeth and does one of these.
He goes, well, not so great after you guys ditched me on that island, which was burning,
by the way. Hey, did you guys set something else on fire? I saw some smoke as we were leaving.
>> That was something else, but I'm sorry we left you on that island. We thought you were dead,
and we did not want to burn to death either, so it was a shame.
>> No, I had a broken arm. >> Well, I thought you were,
I thought we didn't see that. I mean, we saw the broken arm, but we didn't see you as we ran.
Did we? I don't remember. >> No.
>> All right, yeah. >> No, you definitely came out.
>> We did. It was an honest mistake, but I had, sorry.
You're not the first person to be left on an island. Let me tell you that. It's been happened,
it's happened numerous times, you know, the high seas, and you survived, and you came out
better than stronger than ever. How's that arm doing? >> Pretty broken. It hurts when it rains,
and it hurts when it's cold, and it hurts if I get hot. >> So it sounds like you can use it to
tell the weather. That's brilliant. You'll be great a part of our crew. Listen, I'm starting a new crew.
We could use your barber skills and your weather skills.
>> I'm a doctor, not a barber. I have no hair. I actually don't know really how to cut it.
>> Fair enough. But we could use your skills on the new ship.
What do you say? >> Why?
>> Do I have you down for one? Do I have you down for one secret mutiny?
>> You want to mute me? >> Yeah. Oh, yeah.
>> All right. >> I'm on my break.
I'm not trying to mute you. >> No, let's mute me. I mean, I mute
me against Baz. >> I mean, I need to heal first. I'm a little
damaged. I'm like three damaged. Remember the upper cut I told you about earlier?
>> You remember Baz when I'm muting against him? >> Yeah, didn't he get a hole in the head?
>> Oh, shit, he did. >> Yeah.
>> Well, that should happen to you. >> You know, did that? That was squish-less.
It's squish-less. It's over there. >> Which one?
>> Squish-licious. >> All right. Well, uh...
>> Is that me? >> Yeah.
>> Is that me? >> Let's get you rolled up here. All right.
>> All right. >> So you're going to roll. So rolling for health, it's
the quality. Let's take a look at you.
>> Okay. >> Okay.
>> For healing, you're just going to roll two D-6s. Two D-6s. Because you're going to get one roll
from Tawny who's healing you. And then with Chuckles' physical ability, you guys get an extra plus one.
>> So... >> But I'm not even there.
>> So just roll a D-6 once and then roll it a second time?
>> Just roll two D-6s. >> How do I do that?
>> Uh... /d2D6. >> Okay.
>> Well, /r2D6. >> Oh, yeah.
>> Or you can just hit the little dice icon to the left of the screen.
>> It didn't work because I didn't have to do it twice.
>> No, you just hit from 0D to 2D. >> I got confused. All right.
>> Okay. So you got nine and you have none filled up. So every time, Brandon, if you look at your
sheet, you get a point, you get a square for each point. So you would get nine. So you'd like a one,
two... Hold on. So you can reduce one level. That's four.
You reduce another level because that's eight and then you get one healing point.
So you can reduce two levels of harm. >> Okay. Then reduce two damage, right?
Not too long as harm, two damage, right? >> Do the same thing.
>> Harm's different from damage? >> No, harm's different than stress.
>> All right. I see. Okay.
>> You good? >> Yep.
>> All right. He takes the cape off of you and you jump up with a flourish.
>> Yeah, I throw the cape around me like it's a max power and I just throw it like it's a
real long scarf. >> Thank you, sir. I'll let you know about the
secret mutiny later. >> Keep it on the down low.
>> Yeah. So you scamper away downstairs.
Chuckles, back to you. Are you still in your room crying?
>> Yes. Everyone is gone now though, right? >> Yeah. Yeah. You're by yourself.
>> Is it nighttime yet? >> Yeah. It's been the next day. It's
the end of the next evening. >> Okay. It's nighttime. I have a candle going
and I'm secretly, I pull out from under my mattress. It's a children's book
and I'm trying to teach myself to read. But it's like good night moon.
>> It's not one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish? >> Yes. That's what it is actually.
>> Fish, big Alaska? >> Yes. One fish, two fish,
red fish. >> Big Alaska.
>> Big Alaska. Can't get full again. >> So while you're reading,
attempting to read this book, you're in your room, right? And you just got one little candle lit?
>> Yeah. Yeah. And I'm under the blanket. And outside the candle, I'm under the blanket.
Trying to read the book. >> You feel like this presence on the other side of
the blanket and you're aware that someone's standing next to you. And then they sit on the bed
and they kind of lift up the blanket. And there's Dee Dee.
>> And she kind of like snuggles into you next to you in the blanket and is like reading the book
with you. >> Is the monkey going to teach me to read?
>> Oh, no, the monkey can't read either. >> That we know of.
>> That we know of, yeah. >> Oh, okay. Well, hello, monkey. I mean,
ape. I learned that today begrudgingly. >> I think I was like, ooh.
>> All right. Well, yes, so far, one fish, fish, fish, fish. Those are the two words I know so far,
monkey, ape, I mean. >> Fish.
>> Fish, I know one and fish, but I'm off to a good start. And I'm gonna learn to read.
Wait, I assume, I guess reading, it would be study.
>> Yes, yes, it would be study. >> All right. I was hoping it would be tinker,
but that doesn't make any sense. >> You can't tinker yourself a better brain,
although could you? >> Could you wreck into a better brain?
>> I mean, I have alchemists. What is alchemist? When you invent or craft a creation with alchemical
features, yeah, reading drugs. >> Well, yeah, I don't know if there's a role
for my learning to read project. >> No, that's definitely study.
Like that's, I think, the most, yeah. >> So right now, all I know is fish,
but it's kind of a cheat mostly because there's just fish on the page. I'm not super clear which
word means fish. >> You know one and that one of those other words is fish.
>> I mean, it says fish a lot on the page, so I'm assuming that fish means fish.
>> Am I your brain? Am I NPC in your brain right now?
You're studying with that. >> I'm trying to figure this out. There's so many
drawings of fish. So one of these must be fish. >> Can I, can I, can I like spy around the corner?
>> No, quit spying on me. You spied on me earlier. You're probably.
>> All you gotta do is use the giant hole in the ceiling.
>> Yeah. Yeah, it's not very private. This is a ship. We just have unspoken rules.
>> So leave me the hell alone when I'm under my blanket trying to be secret.
>> When I'm drunk, I don't do much reading, but when I, that's my one advice,
but my other advice happens to be reading. And it's driving me crazy that you're not,
you're not, you're not, you're struggling. >> Yeah, well, I'm embarrassed and I don't want your help.
>> Is this out of character? >> No.
>> This is in character. >> Your song is spying.
>> I'm clearly, I'm clearly just hanging out with the monkey.
>> Ape. >> Ape, begrudgingly.
>> Can I, is Dee Dee like talk to me over our mind meld at all?
>> She can, she doesn't like say things, but you get the very clear impression of like what
she's thinking and doing. So she's under, what you can tell from her right now is that she's
under this blanket and she wasn't quite sure why Chuckles was under here, but she's very entranced
by the book. And she just kind of likes, likes the book. >> Must be all the colors.
>> Yeah. >> Yeah.
>> Maybe these are colors. >> Maybe that's what the other words in here.
>> Can I tell Dee Dee to point to the fish, like one of the drawings of the fish, point to the word fish?
>> Yeah, she points to the bird fish. >> Quit trying to learn me from a distance, both of you.
>> You don't know that I'm doing this? >> You don't know that I'm down here looking at books.
>> I do know. >> It's secret.
>> But I know. >> I don't want you guys to know that I'm trying to learn to read.
>> Dee Dee's doing this. >> We know you've made it, you've said it several times.
>> That I'm trying to learn to read or that I'm illiterate.
>> Yes. >> I'd never said I was,
no, no, you never knew I was learning to read.
>> You kept saying things like if only I knew how to read.
>> That doesn't mean I'm learning to read. >> It's the implication.
>> No, it's not. There's no implication that I'm learning to read if I say I can't read.
>> I just think it's going to be funny when I make funny use later that the ape knows how to
read. >> I think I made a lot of mistakes.
>> Make this into a big joke. All I'm trying to do is secretly learn to read.
And I don't want you guys to know, and this is exactly why I don't want you to know,
because you're going to make fun of me. >> I wasn't trying to turn it into a joke.
I was trying to turn it into a moment. >> I don't know that.
>> What you're going to say is,
patches, you're not going to spy on Chuckles' reading.
>> I got better things to do. >> Yeah, go hang out in the bathroom.
>> Yeah, go hang out, what, you mean your bedroom? >> My bedroom?
>> You do know that. >> Are you telling my bedroom a bathroom?
>> Chuckles. >> My bathrooms are cleaner.
>> You're just saying that because it smells in here.
>> Like a bathroom. >> Yeah, whatever.
>> So patches, some of your books are going missing, because you have books kind of hidden
all over the ship, but they keep going missing. But you don't think it's Chuckles, in fact,
you are convinced it's the captain menacing you? >> Damn ghosts are everywhere. They just take
things whenever they want, just to fucking piss me off. >> You keep taking all the baby books.
>> All my Dr. Seuss books have gone missing. >> And Squish, as Dee Dee lives her
arm to point out the letters, because you are mind controlling her, she does momentarily go
a little zombified. And you notice this, this is what you've noticed, Chuckles, and you kick her
out of your bed kind of like, basically pulling the same temper tantrum you've just pulled.
>> Get out of here, you're not going to teach me to read monkey? Now get out of here. I thought
you just didn't hear to cuddle me or something, give me some sort of platonic love, but no,
you were just in here to condescend me just like all the others. Now go, get out of here,
go back to your nest or monkey nest or whatever. >> And you take the broom that's never used to
just get sure out of the- >> Where does it even come from, this stick
with the straw in the end? >> This is just as Chuckles levels point.
>> She climbs up back into, we'll come back to you in just a second, Chuckles, but she climbs up
back into her nest where the patches your books are. She's the one that's been stealing your books.
>> No, my- >> And you just took the ones that she
had gotten her hands on yet. >> I hope she has had her read before, Chuckles.
>> Har, har. We'll see who's laughing after I learn to read.
>> Chuckles, I have made you a new clock for your downtime activity. I was born to read,
not to lead. >> Well, I also wasn't born to read.
>> I'm gonna try like- >> Yeah, and if you wanna roll your study,
however many points you get, we'll fill up that clock.
>> All right.
This is gonna go slow. >> It's like real life.
>> So you're adding up the three and the one? Or did you accidentally fill it up?
>> Yeah, nope, that's my bad, sorry. We're gonna just give me the one.
You have one night of pure brilliance and then the next morning when you look at the book,
it makes no sense. >> Scabally cook.
>> Scabally cook. All right. You are well on your way to learning how to read.
Did you wanna do anything else with your reading?
>> No. >> Well, while you are reading,
there is one person who does catch you. You hear the familiar thud of the captain.
>> Nealix, he stresses a woman, he's visiting me in the night again.
>> That doesn't go on with that. >> And I start crying.
>> I'm very encouraging of this. >> How progressive.
>> I'm just glad it's not hot. >> Hot man needs, we need to have a talk with
hot man. >> You do.
>> I'm concerned. >> We need an intervention.
>> Dude, the kid is losing his mind. Okay, we need to talk to him. He is out of control.
>> I'm sorry, Bridget, we completely cut you off. We're gonna start the buttocks.
>> No, no. I mean, you guys wanna have a group meeting about hot man, I'm fine.
>> We're gonna have a group meeting about our cross-dressing ghosts.
And our, what's pyromaniac ghosts? >> Yeah, pyromaniac fire auditor.
>> It's like a lot of our problems revolve around ghosts.
>> Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. >> That really goes as much as fire.
>> Also, cross-dressing is not a problem. I don't have a problem with this. It's the fire.
>> Would you believe it? >> Also, you're thought that cross-dressing
ghosts can get us out of any situation. You've used it three times already.
>> And how many times does it work? >> I did it once.
>> That's pretty. >> Did it?
>> 33. >> Kind of.
>> Did it, GM, do you remember? >> Let's check the tape.
>> You did? Yeah, let's rewind that. You used it recently in the
Manor High Hill. >> How happy did the elixir?
>> I think it worked at least two out of the three times, because one time it did draw the
attention away from the guards. I mean, he was fighting that one guy. I mean, the second time,
it failed. >> I think Squish got a bunch.
>> My definition of, my definition of Squish got a bunch.
>> Yeah, that was a mixed bag. >> And then I think you did it again with the
small Leviathan. >> I don't think it worked that time.
>> And that's how it worked. >> Yeah, so it's one for two on the Leviathan,
two for three on guards, maybe one for three, we're not sure.
>> Well, as long as he's happy. >> Right.
>> Well, we should have an intervention for him, too. And we'll figure out if he's happy.
And if he's not, then we'll make him happy. >> We'll force more clothes on him.
>> Yeah, we'll find the clothes that fit him.
>> I thought you liked dressing like a butler. >> No, sir.
>> I thought you liked dressing like Mary Antoinette. >> Not exactly, sir.
Sorry, I put words in Nelix's mouth. >> Nelix is a very chill dude. He's very progressive.
He's having this conversation with you while he's dressed in some Egyptian fare.
Like he's dressed like a nefertiti or something. >> Beautiful.
>> Blackface? >> That's not true.
>> No. >> Yes, so to get back to Chuckles,
there is somebody who just catch you reading. You hear the captain walk up behind you
and he sits down at the edge of your bed and he's looking at what you're doing and he goes,
son, how are those speakers going? >> The speakers? What speakers?
>> Well, remember that other project you had that I asked you to do?
>> Yeah, I lost interest in that. Also, didn't I finish doing that? I honestly don't remember.
I know I had a bunch of materials for it. >> Yeah, so you are, I've got it here.
>> One second. I have it on the side here. Speakers, halfway done.
>> Oh. Well, I got to be honest with you, Cap. I was told that maybe the speakers are a bad idea.
>> I see. Seems very, very disappointing. >> Well, I don't know.
I was just saying. >> You didn't make a promise.
>> Did I? >> Well, you agreed to it, which is like a promise.
>> Is it? >> Well, I think so anyway, but I'm glad to see you reading. What is this? One fish,
two fish? Oh, this is a class. >> Oh, this whole thing? No, this is nothing.
Wait, what fish? >> One fish, two fish. That's the name of the book.
>> Two fish. That's what that is. Getting closer to a full vocabulary.
>> One sentence at a time. >> One number at a time.
>> Well, thank you for decoding that. Also, please don't tell the others that I'm learning to read.
They will do nothing but make fun of me. >> Yes, they are.
>> They have done nothing but try to encourage me and help me out, and I have to lash out at them.
>> You tried to help when I was crying earlier, and all you do is throw a hammock at me,
and you said, "Try your tears with this hammock that I've been wearing."
>> That was a very touching moment in my head. >> Welcome to parenthood.
>> He stands up and he says, "I'll keep your secret." >> Thank you. >> But you'll have to keep mine.
>> What is your secret? Yeah, tell me your secret. >> Oh, well.
>> Is it that you're evil? >> No.
>> You're not evil, are you? >> I'm not evil.
>> All right. >> You have a line.
>> He walks out. >> You're what? You lie, couldn't hear.
>> He said, "I am liar." >> So he is evil. >> Is that his secret?
>> He walks away with that bomb that he leaves on you.
>> Well, that was weird. >> That was weird.
>> Anyway, you guys, as he walks away, you finish tonight reading your book,
and eventually you blow out your candle as not to burn down the entire ship. We're not there yet.
>> Yeah, that's not your job. >> There's still some usefulness in the ship yet,
I'm sure. >> We still have to get there.
And yeah, you captain's quarters, God damn it. >> I live in the captain's quarters now.
>> It's just another morning rises. It's a new day. I think everybody has done their
couple of activities, right? >> I think I did. >> I don't mind.
>> Yeah. >> Did you do two?
>> Squish, you did two. You did roll twice for your stress. >> Yeah.
>> Patches, you did two. You got hammocked over and produced your hammock harm.
>> Yeah. >> Okay.
>> My first one was just crying in bed. >> No, you ate the shallot.
>> Oh, that's right, eating strange foods. >> Yes.
And then you also worked on your personal journey, learn how to read.
>> Shh. >> Let's just call it a personal journey.
>> Yeah, so another day rises and you have a few days of like this where it's very
just very quiet and kind of tense on the ship. But finally, on the third day,
you look over the edge and on the very edge in the horizon in the sea, you can see kind of just
like glittering from the land. And all you can kind of tell us that there are like these bright red
cliffs ahead of you and there seems to be some sort of village or settlement, but it's very far
in the distance. You can barely make it out. And the captain steps up behind you as you all
have gathered to see this, the only amount of land you've seen in any amount of days.
And you look out and he goes, ah, it's teacher us. We're finally here.
>> Teacher us. I'm my family's from there. >> Oh, yeah, that's where we were going.
Yeah, it is. >> Don't they eat people there?
Why do you want to go there again? >> I don't know.
>> I'm people. >> You've been marinating yourself
and onion for us. So that's really thoughtful of you.
>> All right. And I'll take a step back from you.
>> Does anyone remember why we were going to teach yours?
>> You wanted to go to teach yours. >> I think the captain did.
>> It was his idea. >> I think Michael did teach yours.
>> Yes. >> The what?
>> Yes, I did want to go to teacher us. Yes.
>> Did you, why? >> I plan on storming their castle.
Well, now that somebody didn't finish the speakers last night, I've got to go in,
storm the castle, fight the armada, get to the top tower, play my harp, command their entire
armies and I don't know, set up for war. >> Wait, the speakers were in hope with that?
>> What? >> The speakers would help with that?
>> Yeah. >> That sounds badass as hell.
Can I still work on the speakers? >> Your job time is over.
>> No. >> Wait, who are we going to war with?
>> We're going to go and fight the, it's really, really clever. We need to go and fight this armada.
Do you see them right over there? And you guys turn and you see these fleets of just white ships,
white sails coming, they're at a distance, but you can tell there's a huge group of them.
You are witnessing the teacher of fleet. It's a group of naval vessels outside of the main island.
And the captain points to those and he goes, I'm planning on
this thing through, storming the castle, get up to the tallest tower where there's some
wonderful acoustics, play the harp, command the entire armada army and I don't know,
go to war against dusk of all or Lockport or anything really. I'll be unstoppable.
>> It's like fun. Have you been able to open the harp?
>> You've been carrying it out, there's a bunch of runes and stuff on there.
>> I mean, one step at a time, right? >> Are you sure this is the number one?
>> Are you sure this is a viable plan? I don't, I, I, I, I, you thought this through, I just,
I don't think you've thought this through, captain.
>> I have an entire ghost ship. I have a most amazing crew. And I don't think there's anything
stopping us. >> Where do we come in in this plan?
>> Very good, very good plan, very good question. I will reveal my secrets next week.
>> She has, she has the concept of a plan. >> I have the concept of a plan. I mean,
we'll get there soon enough. We'll decide it then. I don't know we're coming.
>> Pretty sure they can see us. >> If we can see them.
>> There's like one of us. Yeah. >> Then they can see us.
>> Yes. >> I don't know if I like this, this plan so far.
>> I just want to, I just want to sail the high seas. I don't know if I want to go to war.
>> You've got, you let me, you've gone this far, right? You've gone through storms,
you've gone through Leviathan, you fought a gay pirate, you've seen some mystical stuff.
>> What pirate? >> You burned down,
somewhat, he was a little fancy, a little fruity pirate.
>> Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't know that he was gay. I pulled his pants down.
I feel like that might have been a hate crime. >> Maybe that's why we won.
>> Maybe that's why he was smiling. >> He got too flustered.
>> No one's been so brazen about it. >> I thought he, that was a scabbard in his pants.
>> Did you not notice he never put them back on? >> No.
I was so proud of myself of the prank. >> It was a fine prank. Yeah, I don't know if we should go to war.
>> He won a lot of pranks this season. >> Yeah, that's my new stick. I'm a prank man.
>> Get a bit of it, get a bit of it, get a bit of it. >> So, captain.
>> Yes? >> No, captain.
>> Yes? >> No, whole.
>> I'm confused. >> Clearly.
So when this is all said and done, do I get to captain my own ship in the Armada?
>> You know, you're a character. >> I just kill everybody and replace them as ghosts,
but I mean, sure. >> Me?
>> Hey, why would we kill everyone and replace them with ghosts when we could just use them
as demons? >> I don't know. I mean, there's a lot of,
I'm leaving myself open to opportunities here. What if some of them don't go along with it? I
don't know. I'm also a ghost pirate. It's just as easy for me to command people
via ghost or deep. And it really, it's 50/50. >> You're not a ghost.
>> So you passed the flesh test. We've been over this.
>> Yes, I know. I am a ghost pirate. I pirate ghosts.
>> Oh. >> Like that old lady passed the
flesh test and she was a ghost? >> Yeah, that's unclear as well.
>> Maybe the flesh test is flawed. >> She's got to do it, guys.
>> I've faced all my decisions on a series of flesh tests.
>> I've faced all my decisions on touching people.
>> Yeah. >> I would still like my own shit.
>> One step at a time, number one, get through Armada. That's step one.
>> Still think step one should be you figuring out how to get to the heart.
>> No. Step 1.5. We can argue about it later.
>> All right. Because if you get to that tower and you can't open that heart,
think we're all going to die. >> I think you guys.
>> And then you'll be a real ghost pirate. >> Doesn't matter if you die.
We'll just come back to this ghost and we'll work on this boat anyway.
>> I'm never leaving this boat, am I? >> Well, that's the end of it.
>> Good. >> You mean that's the end of the session?
>> Yes, it's the end of the session. We didn't have nothing else planned.
>> Well, we could have an intervention on Hotman.
>> Extra credit scene. Hotman, we've gathered you today because you're losing your life.
>> Can we not have them on the boat, though? >> Well, he's in a bottle or some shit.
>> Yeah, he comes back to my bottle. >> Okay, so we can talk to him through
the bottle. >> Well, no, I--
>> He's like a man, like instead of a boat in a bottle, it's just a crammed in,
like the genie where he's crammed in the lamp, except the lamp is transparent and shaped like a
bottle. >> That's what it was.
>> Yeah, I'm on it. >> The entire time.
He's a genie Hotman. Genie Hotman. >> Hotman? Hotman, we need to have a talk.
>> We need to have a talk, all right? We tolerated you for many years,
but-- >> And celebrated you in a lot of ways.
>> And celebrated you. Some of the-- yeah, your best qualities are the ones we love the most,
but also, you've been kind of-- you're out of control, all right?
The other day, I saw you with your fire-- you were throwing fireballs at a toilet.
You got your fucking hand in there. >> Disgusting.
Now, you can't even burn a toilet. >> You're a disgrace to your family and
you're friends and you need to be put under control.
Squish, any words? >> No, just keep eating up my pots and pans.
And then we're good. >> You know, what am I supposed to do when
you keep me in this little tiny glass bottle all the time and then you let me out?
It's usually some crazy shit happening and you say, "Go for it," or "Have fun," or "Let loose."
I do exactly what I'm told. You're the one who commands me.
>> Well, let loose can mean a lot of different things. Let loose can just mean
just come hang out. It doesn't mean-- >> Yeah.
>> It doesn't mean destroy everything. I mean, don't get me wrong, you're a lot of fun sometimes,
but you take it just a little too far. >> We've blown up so much things together,
but I don't know if we can-- >> There's so many places we can't go
back to because they are now ashes. >> Yeah, I think if we go back to Dusk Vault,
they will hunt us down. >> If there's a Dusk Vault left,
it may be burned to the ground. That was a big-ass city.
>> We don't know. >> And you were really big, throwing a lot of fire.
>> We took the fuck out of there. We were not going to wait around to find out how that
fired. >> Because we supported you.
We took yourself. >> And your engine.
>> We could have turned you in, probably, I think.
>> This last time, you were completely out of your control, out of your mind.
>> Okay. >> You did go a little bit crazy that last time.
>> Thank you. >> I told you to call loose just a little bit.
You were supposed to set fire to some, like a couple of drapes.
You were dancing in the middle of the hall, shooting fireballs out of your fist and your feet.
>> It was a nice dance, though. >> It was. It was a very, very fast--
>> It was beautiful. I was moved. >> But it was not the right time.
We were on a mission from God, well, from the captain. >> From--
>> And he was really pissed. We set that house on fire.
>> Yes. >> We're still paying.
>> Also, you ruined my chances with my future wife and mother of my children.
She breathed in a lot of smoke, and she was talking a lot of nonsense,
like things like, "I don't think we're right for each other."
And it's just not a good time for me. She would not have said that if she had not inhaled so much
smoke from the fires that you started.
>> I can't-- I cannot find that. You did-- you did-- that lady had a lot of smoke inhalation.
>> Yes. >> She was completely--
>> She was delirious, clearly. >> She was completely--
>> Fine. >> She was completely--
>> She was a smoke show, yes. >> She was completely smoked.
>> She-- [laughs]
Agree. I'm glad. We agree finally. So, Hotman, what do you have to say for yourself? You degenerate.
>> You fucking drunk. >> I am a spirit. I like things on fire,
and that is what I do. If you'd like me to set up things on fire less, maybe provide more instruction,
maybe give a firmer command or, you know, not let me out, I don't know.
>> So now your problem is our fault. This is classic--
>> Get back in the bottle. >> Classic deflection.
>> What happens if we put the bottle-- >> What happens if we put the bottle--
>> --and burn things with respect? >> What if we put the bottle in, like,
ice water? >> You're right.
>> No. >> Throw them overboard.
>> No. >> No.
>> Let them fend for himself. >> This is my Hotman. I'm doing it with--
I thought we-- this intervention was supposed to be nonviolent.
>> Well, clearly, you-- >> And you got a control.
>> You don't know what you're doing. You're out of your element.
You're doing-- >> I am out of my element.
>> You're a terrible fire dad. >> This has been a very rough season for me.
I have lost everything. My friends, my family, my ship, my respect. I'm back in the toilet,
and this kid won't stop disrespecting me with his fucking arson.
>> This isn't about the Hotman, is it? >> You chose the toilet for your bedroom.
>> It was where he put us. >> You can't put that on us.
>> It was where he put me. >> I don't know.
>> I don't think so. I think you cleaned it. >> It is cleaner than a lot of the ship.
You'd be surprised how dirty the ship is. >> I know one room that's really dirty.
>> I know one rule that the captain has. >> No waffle stomping.
>> Oh, no, two rolls. I'm sorry. >> What was the other one?
>> Clean up after yourself. >> All right. Is this extra credit scene done or what?
>> I think Hotman's not less than one thing we're all focused on.
>> Did Hotman learn his lesson? >> Yeah, that--
>> Baldwin's been airing your grievances. >> This is our concern, Hotman.
>> Turns out it's not about Hotman at all. It's about the captain's emotional issues.
>> It's about the Hotman and all of us. >> But you called me the captain.
So I'm going to add another session with that.
[Music]