Hail the Jump Fork boys, in the night they roam, solving woes with fire and chrome.
With a clash and a crash and a twist of fate, explosions mark the hours never late.
One crew no more.
Faced with an armada on the horizon, the crew had to think fast.
They began with a slightly fishy story about Squish returning home to visit his dead relative with his past's other pants.
Chuckles rigged up a set of speakers, enticing the captain to come out of his office and begin strumming.
But before we could hear that sweet tune, Chuckles nut-punched the captain mid-squat.
Squish and Patches raced to the harp, with Squish just barely edging out the demon.
Oh, Squish won.
It's that one.
Squish plays a few discordant chords.
Patches snatch the harps away and toss it over the side into the deep blue.
Squish jumped over the edge and manages to grab the harp before it sinks.
In the meantime, the captain regains his senses and his rage.
Patches threw Chuckles into the grate of the ship, sending him crashing into the floor below.
Chuckles fired the final cannonball from his flaming cannon.
The captain summoned his ghost crew, snatch the harp from Squish's hands, and threw the crew overboard before single-handedly smashing through the armada.
The crew is now on the Tichero's shore, facing the maze that is Tichero's castle.
You know, I was so distracted with the fact that we washed up on shore, and I don't know if we're on good footing together.
I think that the captain did get everything that he wanted.
He did get the harp, and the speakers, and the boat, and none of those pesky kids.
Yeah.
He was an asshole.
He played us like a bunch of...
He played us like a harp.
Yeah.
Well, so all that really was for nothing.
And instead of being somewhat, like, involved, like, with the all-powerful guy, we're not.
No, I think we have to go stop him.
He's going to take over the fucking world.
He's got the harp.
He's got the speakers that you built for him.
It's your responsibility to stop him.
Yar!
I mean...
Maybe we should just leave.
What?
Out of character.
What game are you...
Have you played where you just want to leave when we're about to take out the big boss?
I don't think I'm just going to let Bowser go.
You know?
Let's just go on vacation, and I'll take out some graffiti with a squirt gun.
This is in another castle.
The princess is in another castle.
Let's just get out of here.
Yeah, actually, you know what?
We would have saved ourselves a lot of time if he just moved on.
Yeah, we got had, and I say, I'm going to go fight the red captain, and I'm going to go steal his coat.
Maybe his hat.
Maybe that harp.
But what do I stand to gain?
I feel like I have nothing but risk to lose.
All right, leave.
I don't care.
Well, I guess I don't really have anywhere to go, and I am on Cannibal Island.
And I am playing an RPG that I'm supposed to do stuff in.
Yeah, Squish brings up a very good point.
It's not actually Cannibal Island.
Wow.
It's really only dangerous to the two of you.
Yeah, I'm fine.
Two patches and chuckles.
Yeah, because as you guys come ashore, so you see ahead of you, you land on the beaches of Ticharos.
Ahead of you, you see this, like, sandy beach, and there are some shopkeepers and things up along a pathway.
But basically, there's just one path that leads to this very large fortress-type city.
It is one castle, and the fact that every building in there is connected somehow.
But it is a very mismatched posh.
If you look at the picture, it's like you can tell there are sections of buildings that have just been built on top of each other.
It is quite an imposing maze.
And it is a functioning beach.
There are people selling things.
There are shopkeepers.
They are all demons of every color, size, and, like, visibility.
So some you notice are really dark and smoky almost.
It just seem like puffs of smoke rather than actual beings.
Some just seem like shadows.
But you are, they're demons galore.
And it's just like any other city, except you are the only two humans currently on the island.
Do we possess any red paint?
Or powers?
You are a tinkerer.
You can tinker some paint.
I'm going to say no to red paint.
Yes to your skills and intuition.
Right.
Do you see any ladybugs?
I think I can turn them into red paint.
No?
Okay.
I didn't know.
Here's a better idea.
What about ketchup?
Do you see any ketchup?
Do they like ketchup here on T-Tro's?
You know, demon boy.
I've never been to T-Tro's.
Oh.
Right.
All right.
What if we pretend to be his slaves?
Squishes.
I feel like we've done that before.
I mean, it's a good, it's a good classic play-in.
How about you guys?
Or your servants, maybe.
Or like, you know.
It's like my dinner for the night for my grandfather's funeral.
We're dinner?
Oh, yeah.
Can I wear one of those ball gags where you put like the apple in my mouth?
I've never been dinner before.
This is exciting.
Also, just to, I forgot to mention as well, you do have Tawny and DeeDee with you as well.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, these guys.
Okay.
Let's eat him.
Now who's the cannibal?
Whatever.
I don't know.
All right.
Well, I say this is the best plan we've got so far.
All right.
So, I guess you guys have convinced me in order to keep this game going in a way that Bridget has material for.
I will acquiesce that we must go into the castle.
Based on my pride.
Because my speakers.
You have pride?
Turns out.
I got to stop the red cap.
I don't like that.
I don't like what he's going to do.
I think he's going to.
I think he's going to call.
I don't think the world's going to be much better with him as, you know, playing that harp of his.
And maybe if I return the harp back to Lady, you know.
High Hill.
Yes.
Thank you for reminding my ex-girlfriend's name.
She will fall in love with me.
The hot mama.
And she will give me those little ugly goblin children.
Yeah.
But, you know, you will have earned those goblin children.
Yes.
I will have earned them.
I will have earned those minutes upon minutes of wonderful love.
Yes.
Minutes.
Burn.
So the plan is to pretend to be a dinner.
If I'm getting this right.
Pretend to be the main course at Squish's pretend grandfather's pretend funeral.
Okay.
Squish.
Yes.
You can pretend to be a chef.
Although I guess you don't really need a role.
Because your grandpa.
Pretty good about that part.
Yeah.
And Tawny.
You can be grandpa.
Andy, you need to pretend to be a chef for this game.
Grandpa.
Can you pull that off, Andy?
Wait.
Squish, your character needs to be a chef.
Can you pull this off?
I don't know.
I might have to take some stress for doing that.
Is grandpa dead?
I thought grandpa's dead in this scenario.
Grandpa is dead.
Am I dead?
Yeah.
So what are you talking, you know, flapping your yap for?
I'm pretty sure he doesn't look that old.
And he's also not a demon.
You're right.
Back to the red paint.
Where's the ladybugs?
Cats up.
You are, you're on shore at this point.
And people can kind of hear you arguing.
You're not drawing a crowd as of yet, but you are making a scene.
So we argue, okay?
All right.
Let's, we're doing it.
Slaves.
Let's go.
DeeDee.
Tawny.
Act slave-like.
Follow my lead.
Yeah, put rope around your wrists.
Follow my lead.
Just, you know, walk like this.
And I start, like, kind of walking like I'm in shackles, even though I don't have shackles.
That's why you need to tie your wrists.
I don't have rope.
We just washed ashore.
Where do you think we've been?
Oh, man.
Our pants are all ragged, too.
Like, you know, a castaway.
Yeah.
Well.
That'd be pretty cool.
Why is just our pants ragged?
Our shirts are fine?
No.
Those can be ragged, too.
We look like we were just a Hulk.
But just our shirt.
With, like, the iron line still in there.
Just our pants.
The shirts are fine.
Okay.
So, uh, Dee Dee follows your lead.
She kind of hunches over and just, like, kind of walks like you do.
Although you realize that's just kind of how Dee Dee walks when she is upright.
Uh, Tawny is relatively unconvinced.
It just starts walking behind you.
Squish, are you, uh, Chuckles, are you going along with this plan?
Yeah.
Who wants to plan again?
We're slaves.
And that's going to get us into this building?
You're slaves.
But as I just understand it, you're walking like you're sick.
Because we're not tied up.
Because we're good slaves.
Right.
Yeah, sure.
And we're bedraggled.
I feel like I should be.
Oh, sorry.
And we're bedraggled.
Oh, yeah.
I feel like we should be shirtless if we're slaves.
That's my choice.
Keep your racks up.
Fair enough.
Your pants are already messed up.
You want to take our shirts off next?
I'm going to unbutton my shirt.
Why don't you just use your pants to tie up your hands?
Our pants are tatters.
And you're suggesting getting rid of our shirts?
I'm just saying, when I picture a slave, I picture a man with no shirt on.
I don't.
That's it.
That's all.
We don't have to read anything further into that.
Interesting.
Don't read anything further into it.
So you guys decide that you're going to follow this path that leads up to the castle.
And you kind of start walking through this open-air market.
And as you pass patches and chuckles, you kind of notice that people are kind of pinching you almost.
Like, you feel like first you kind of feel like on your arm, and then you feel legs.
And like, maybe somebody kind of strokes their hair.
And finally, one of them.
I start yelling at them, just telling them, yes, they're very tender.
You know, I don't hate it.
And you hear a voice from the crowd kind of shout out, how much are you selling them for?
I'm not.
They're for my grandfather's funeral.
You pig.
Oh, yeah.
Defend my honor.
Shut up.
I like that.
Squish, let's have you throw a sway roll to see how well people are convinced by your attitude.
Your bad attitude.
Oh, incredibly convinced.
They offer to help bring them right to the top of the castle.
Yeah, yeah.
When you, as soon as you mention that it is your grandfather's funeral, a hush kind of comes over the crowd.
And they actually kind of part ways, you know.
So you guys are basically, it's like, you know, a funeral procession with the orange stickers on their car.
You are the orange stickers.
And everyone's kind of letting you, like, you know, walk where you need to go.
You make your way up to this very, very large castle.
There are grounds around it.
It is a, you know, very lush area.
There's lots of plant life.
There's lots of animals.
It's very tropical here.
And not, like, uncomfortably hot or sweltering like you've experienced.
It's actually just very pleasant.
It's very Mediterranean here.
Well, is it pleasant for me, but maybe too hot for these two?
Is it?
You're just trying to make it inconvenient for us.
All right.
Here we go.
Handy pick one or two.
Two.
Okay.
Oops.
Slash.
R.
D.
Two.
There we go.
Yes.
It's a little warm, actually, for you and Chuckles and Patches.
You're starting to sweat just a tiny bit.
It's relatively warm.
But for you, Squish, it's quite pleasant.
It's hot.
It's a little musty up here.
It's too damn hot.
Too damn hot.
And you know what?
It is actually kind of nice that everyone is parting the way for us.
Did you want to take your shirt off again?
You actually?
Thank you.
I think I will.
No.
Your grandpa should die more often.
Wow.
You better hope they can't hear this.
Your grandpa?
Yeah.
He's not even real.
No.
The people around us.
Also, he's dead.
Want to eat you.
No.
They can't eat us.
Why not?
Because we're not tender.
That's why they were poking you.
And they offered to buy you.
It was because you're tender.
How tender do you think I am?
We should not have given you that light.
As tender as a poet.
This is weird.
So tender.
How tender am I?
So you get to this crossroads where you can either continue straight and you go into the castle, which does have guards in it.
It's got large gardens, people walking and milling around it.
There are also lanes to the either way.
One leads back down into like a second part of the harbor.
One just leads to like houses and villages up in the city.
So you have three ways.
You can go back down towards the water, up towards the like houses or into the city.
Well, Squish, this is your hometown.
It's not.
I've never been here.
Wow.
Listen.
Now you know how it's been.
You've been here in your genes.
Now you know how it's been discriminated against.
You want me to sit here at the literal crossroads and meditate?
Yeah.
Get in touch with your genes.
What?
Okay, fine.
You don't know what to do.
But what would a demon do?
Well, I am a demon and I don't know.
Okay.
All right.
Well, do you know.
Just think about it.
All right.
The captain is going to go for the tower, right?
Yeah.
We're going to go right at him.
And we want to stop him.
We got to.
Well, I want to stop him.
I think all three of us need to nut punch him.
I think that's the only way we're going to stop him.
We have to like hold hands and nut punch him?
No, all three.
Like the triforce?
No, like three fists.
Is it like all at one time?
Yeah.
Or is it like one after another?
No, no.
All at once.
Can we get Hopman to inflame our hands while we do it?
That sounds painful.
Yeah.
Why would I want to set my fists on fire?
It would be more painful for him.
Can't we just use Hopman to like, you know, light him on fire?
Wait a second.
We've already talked about this.
Hopman is on the road to recovery.
Yeah, yeah, he is.
We can't upset that.
Yeah, we can't upset that right now.
He's right.
We're being selfish.
You literally want him to stop doing the one thing he's born to do.
So he can become a productive member of society.
You can't decide what his life is supposed to be.
He has to decide that.
Exactly.
You're his master.
You should be able to determine that.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
It sounds like...
I treat all my ghosts as near and dear friends and butlers.
You're starting to sound a little bit evil.
Let's not rehash this.
I was hoping you guys forgot about that.
No, I did not forget that you turned evil.
About the evil-ing.
Turned?
Yeah.
Turned evil.
Yeah.
Oh, it's nice to know you never thought I was evil.
No, we weren't.
You was evil?
Maybe I should have been an actor.
We loved you.
Has a brother.
You don't now?
And now you're evil.
All right.
You're the appetizer.
I love you.
But you're evil.
I guess I'd rather be the main course.
Oh, no.
No, the little guy's definitely got to be the appetizer.
You guys feel Dee Dee kind of tugging on...
Well, who's wearing a shirt?
I'm still wearing my frock.
I didn't do that.
She starts tugging on your shirt, Squish.
She starts pointing towards the castle where there are a set of guards that are approaching you.
Because you've just been out in public debating who's going to be what appetizer and potential evilness of it all.
All right.
Let's go to the castle then.
So, no.
So, these guys...
Well, yeah.
I mean, if you want to.
The guards are approaching you.
Because you're just standing there with a group of slaves arguing with them.
It's not good...
Slave etiquette?
Yeah.
They argue with them.
Right.
Yeah.
You should really get a hold of your...
Get a handle on your...
I backslap Chuckles.
Oh!
Chuckles, I'm going to have you...
I'm going to have you take one harm.
Bruised...
Bruised pride.
Bruised cheek, bruised pride.
Yeah.
So, the two guards, one of them approaches you and they take a look and say, are you having some trouble, sir?
Not anymore.
With your cargo?
Not anymore.
They learn their lesson right.
Lesson is you're a jerk.
Slap him again.
Oh!
Go ahead and roll another sway, Swish, to see if this convinces them.
Convinces who of what?
Oh, Swish, sorry.
I'm Juckles.
They kind of, like, jump...
Yeah.
They kind of jump back when you backslap your...
Chuckles again.
Only because they think this is food.
Like, this is, like, punching your hamburger meat.
It's kind of just a little weird.
A little looked down upon.
They go, sorry, just you seem a little troubled.
Can we...
You seem lost.
Can we help you find something?
Are you lost, little boy?
Me?
I'm little boy?
You.
Yes.
And you've realized that these demons are particularly large.
So, actually, Squish, in comparison, you are...
You do look a little bit shorter than them.
My.
No.
Well, actually...
Yeah.
Are you...
You're half-demon, aren't you?
You're not whole-demon.
I established that?
I think he said full.
We're reaffirming that.
Where's my story?
I don't think you told...
I don't think...
You may not have told us, but I thought that was your backstory.
I don't think he has a backstory.
Yeah.
Tarquish, Sunder.
Actually, here on April 5th, 2022.
Tarquish, Sunder.
Part demon.
Introverted.
White eyes, red skin, pointed teeth.
Oh, part demon.
All right.
That makes sense now.
What's the other part?
Is the other part human?
Don't worry about it.
What other species exist in this world?
Don't worry about it.
Well, humans, for one.
You lost?
Is there something we can help you find?
Yeah, I need to bring these to the kitchens.
Oh, do you have some paperwork or something?
Or are you just...
I mean, what are they for?
They're for the king tonight.
Yeah, we are the most tender.
You're going to be tender after this.
Yeah, we're so tender.
They brought us in from a different island.
We're imported.
You're not just supposed to agree to this.
Give me a pinch.
See how tender I am.
Don't pinch him.
He likes it.
One of the guards reaches out and pinches you, Patches.
Where do you pinch?
He kind of like looks at...
My butt?
No, he pinched your underarm.
Oh.
See?
Tender.
It's like they've never done a day's work in their life.
Can I ask for another pinch?
Great choice, sir.
They look at each other and one of them shrugs to the other.
And then they kind of look over Tawny, who, again, just so we can take one quick look at him.
He's a pretty gnarly looking dude.
He...
Not tender.
They kind of look at him and did not tender.
And they say, this one too?
What are you going to make out of him, jerky?
Oh, no, no, no.
He's the spit dog.
What?
What's a spit dog?
They're the ones that go in the wheel to turn the spits while the others are roasted.
Well.
All right.
Well, kitchens are that way.
We'll be happy to escort you.
You don't have to escort us.
I think we do.
It looks like...
What do you got?
One, two, three, four.
Four slaves here.
I mean, the odds are a little bit better.
You'll be less delayed if two of us assist you.
All right.
If you insist.
Okay.
So they open up the gate to the castle.
You guys walk in and you guys walk in and towards it.
So we've established that this castle is very large, hodgepodge, fortress type area.
But as you guys are walking into it, you're noticing there's a lot of tall, really spindly columns.
The roof of things is not very smooth.
There's a lot of jagged edges.
It's a very unsettling place.
The geography of it is that there really isn't any.
It seems like castle hallways kind of twist and turn.
And even just as you're taking your way through the kitchens, you realize you go up a hill, you go down a hill, you kind of turn left, you turn right.
But you seem like you're ending up in a completely different place.
And eventually you are taken to a very small back courtyard with a small door along the side of a stone building.
And one of the guards knocks on it.
And they don't get an answer.
We just walk through the kitchens.
Sir, we haven't walked through anything.
Oh, I thought you said we walked through the kitchens.
No, you're just walking through like hallways and things at this point.
Open-air hallways.
Were you expected here?
I should have been.
You got a name or like an invoice or something?
Not on me.
I mean, I got a name on me.
His grandpa died.
He's in a lot of grief.
Yes, my mind is all over the place.
My grandfather has passed.
Yes.
And it was a gruesome death, too.
These were his two.
Slaves that he was saving and fattening up for.
Slaves slash snacks.
We were his favorite.
He was saving us for a special occasion.
Yeah.
The end of his life, probably.
And now that he's dead, I've decided to gift them.
To eat us.
And gift and cook them for the king.
Oh, you're a chef?
Yes.
What's your favorite way to serve human?
Ooh.
Like raw.
Blue.
Yes.
Completely uncooked.
I didn't think they came in blue.
Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It's barely cooked on each side.
So you still get the juices and the nice taste.
Right.
But you don't kill.
Carmelization.
Of the outsides.
How do you like your human coat?
Oh, I'm a big fan of, you know, real just flash fried.
Just heated real quick.
Real quick, like fried them up.
I'll give you some toes.
Oh, toes.
Those sound delicious.
I mean, it's the worst part of the body, I suppose.
But thanks.
Thanks for that.
You know, and then the other guard starts like, my mom says, if you deep fry the toes, they're
the tastiest, juiciest puff.
They are.
That's probably because your mom is poor.
The guard looks really offended and hurt that you say that.
He's like, what'd you say about my mom?
Do you want to smack him?
Only poor people eat the toes.
The guard kind of like lunges forward, but his friend stops him and he's like, you know,
he looks at them and he goes, you got four slaves here.
I mean, we'd buy one off of you.
I mean, you'd cook it for us or something, but we'd buy one off of you.
Fine.
Which one do you want?
Sell him Tawny.
Yeah.
The other one.
Tawny's the spit dog.
Yeah.
So they, they look at Tawny and they're not, they're not overly impressed.
But he looks at patches and chuckles and he's like, I don't know.
Take one of those two.
All right.
Which one?
The one, the one in the gray frock is a squish.
He's basically marinated in whiskey.
And the other one is marinated in onions.
Squish.
I'm starting to realize that we established you were evil last episode and now we just
made you our slave masters.
Yes.
This was a terrible idea.
Little later that now.
Squish.
What?
I think like you were just going to fake cook and eat us.
I think if you sell us, they'll actually eat us.
They want me to cook it for them.
Okay.
I don't want to be cooked though.
Okay.
Don't worry about it.
So I should just put my trust in this man demon that confessed to being evil last week.
Yes.
I don't see how we have any other choice.
in their pockets.
And five gold is quite a bit for these guys.
They get paid like one gold a week.
Yeah.
But it's five gold.
It's the slave plus me cooking it for you.
Right.
And they're talking about it and they're like, I don't know.
This is kind of expensive.
And they're like, what?
What's your grandpa's name?
They ask.
Tarkush Sunder.
The third.
Tarkush Sunder the third.
And the other guy like scratches his beard.
He's like, I haven't heard of anyone named Tarkush Sunder who died.
So they probably wouldn't care.
If their slaves were missing.
No.
And they turn back to you and they realize.
Again, you realize that they called you little boy before.
Upon better reflection, these are very, two very large demons.
One of them has like skin that kind of looks oily, you know?
So when you look at it, it kind of changes colors.
The other one is very similar to you, Squish.
He's just very bright and red.
But he's much taller and bulkier than you.
And they turn to you and they're like, we could just take them.
And one of them swings and goes to punch you, Squish.
God.
So.
Are you?
Let me hold on.
Let me get these NPCs out here.
All right, boys.
You know what to do.
What?
All your work for you?
Yeah.
We're your slaves.
And you were just about to sell us for food.
What do you think?
We're going to help you?
Yeah.
Oh, you defend our honor then.
Yeah.
You're making a lot of promises.
You guys are supposed to be slaves.
You've been making a lot of promises.
Fight over us.
The long con.
But I haven't seen much.
Wait.
Fight over you?
I could just let them have you.
Oh, yeah.
You think so?
Yeah.
Let them try.
Do it.
Let them try.
I stand back.
No, he goes and punches you, Squish.
So you can either.
If you want to take the punch or you want to dodge, we have options for either of those.
I'll take the punch.
Okay.
So to resist that, this is going to be.
Let's see.
Probably a prowess role.
A prowess resistance role.
Succeeded.
I'm not going to be.
Succeeded.
You managed to dodge or to take the blow pretty well, and you don't flinch too much.
The other one, Squish and, or I'm sorry, Patches and Truffles, you guys are not tied up at this point.
You are free to do whatever you'd like.
Can you describe the environment?
So if you can imagine, this is a courtyard area.
So there's like a door that leads into the kitchen that's along the wall.
Other than that, there's like, it's a larger green area.
And then there's like a wall that kind of separates you guys.
So like you're kind of hidden from view, but you are still out in the open.
So there's, we're surrounded by walls.
Is there stuff to climb?
Because we're in a courtyard.
Is there like a tree or something?
I mean, yeah, there could be a tree.
The walls you can climb.
You can also climb the stone.
It's pretty rocky.
I'm thinking about going up.
I'm going to judo chop one of these guys.
Up a tree.
Is that a thing you can do?
Do you know judo?
No, but I'm.
He taught himself judo on the boat.
No, I'm just going to do a judo chop and I'm going to roll rec and see how things fly.
All right.
So we'll start with Chuckles.
Go ahead and roll your finesse to kind of scurry up the tree.
I'm going to scurry up the tree.
Great way to describe it.
That's not good.
You go to scurry up this tree and you kind of just don't get any sort of purchase.
And so instead, one of the demons grabs you and kind of just picks you up by your collar and your little like arms and legs are dangling.
Patches.
Who are you?
Which demon are you going to judo chop?
Is it the one with that's punched squish or the ones that's fighting or that has patches or chuckles?
I'm going to go for the chuckles.
I'm pretty sure squish can handle himself.
Juckles is being picked up and screaming.
Okay.
Go ahead and judo chop him.
Right in the neck, by the way.
He has to be right in the neck.
Okay.
Partial success.
Go ahead and judo chop.
Tell me how you judo chop.
So I run over and I jump in the air and I just like land it right on his neck.
And I imagine it like hurts him, but it's not going to knock him out.
That's what I'm going to say.
Yeah.
I'm going to say that you are able to like give him a good whack enough that he kind of drops chuckles and in shock.
But then he's turning and he's now going to interact directly with you.
Squish, the demon that you managed to blow, you absorbed, how do you want to respond?
Go for squish.
Squish.
Is he frozen?
Yeah, that looks like it.
I think so.
Oh, I thought he was just being rude.
Squish.
Oh, there he is.
He unfroze for a second.
He's frozen again.
Squash?
Squash!
Squash?
Squash.
Squash?
Squash.
Squam.
We're not supposed to say that anymore.
Squash.
All right.
Well, is he coming back or what?
I don't know.
He just is just sitting there.
Kick him out.
By all appearances.
All right.
Like Connie's brothers.
Do you think he's seen all the squashed?
Donnie's brothers.
It is kind of awkward because he is literally in the middle of a fight.
There he is.
Hello?
Yeah, you're back.
Why do you keep doing that?
Because it's funny.
To whom?
Squam.
Squash.
You heard.
Squash.
Juckles was trying to climb a tree and failed horribly.
Okay.
Yeah.
So, Juckles tried to climb a tree.
He failed.
One of the demons, the one that's not fighting you, picked up Squash.
Patches.
Judo chopped the demon.
Didn't knock him out, but definitely made him drop.
Juckles.
And so now, the demon that punched you and you took it, how do you want to respond?
I would like to have, once he punched me, but I didn't respond.
Or once he was diving towards me to punch me, is when I pulled out my pistol and had it in his gut.
And would like to pull the trigger.
All right.
Go for it.
I think that's a hunt throw.
I do it.
Success.
Squash.
You do it.
Squam.
So, you immediately blast the demon, and he absorbs the, he takes the bullet.
Wait, what did you say?
He absorbs the bullet.
He takes it.
Yeah.
So, you, what?
He takes the bullet.
He starts bleeding.
He's bleeding out.
It's a pretty quick death for him.
Patches.
Chuckles.
How are you handling your current, your demon, your inner demon?
Holy shit.
Chuckles, do you want to, you just got free.
Do you want to do something?
Like to help?
Yeah.
I mean, you can go back up that tree if you want.
I'm pretty open-minded.
No, I'm, I'd like to, I'd like to try the judo chop.
It worked for you.
Yeah.
Go ahead and judo chop him.
Partially.
Okay.
I think we rolled a wreck for that, right?
Yeah.
You do it.
Judo chop.
You, uh, you go in.
So, this guy basically just gets two successive judo chops.
Uh, he's going to fall to the ground.
Uh, let me just, one, Rick.
Hold on.
I got to write this down.
Squish.
Try the judo chop.
Uh, so you judo chop them.
He, the guy, uh, the demon kind of stops, falls to the ground.
Um, he's been stunned.
The other one is slowly bleeding out.
And he's kind of like raising his hand towards you as he's bleeding.
Like asking for help.
Like it could have just said, Oh, no, no response from the rest of you.
Okay.
I think Andy, I think Andy froze again.
It's even better before.
Oh, no.
Why?
That was funny.
I'm sorry.
That was really, that was really funny.
Um.
I'm sorry.
Oh, fuck.
All right.
Um, what now?
Um, yeah.
So one demon is, uh, knocked out.
One is slowly dying.
Uh, you are in this courtyard.
I think we should run.
Wait.
Where?
We should go to the kitchen and make some boom, boom sauce.
That's your solution to everything.
Just go.
Let's go cook.
We haven't had that for a long time.
Justin, we have to cook.
We have to cook.
We have to cook a long time.
Just cook our way out of it.
All right.
Let's go.
All right.
What happened to the two demons?
One slowly bleeding out and what?
The other one was.
Yeah.
He was double judo chopped.
I bet you though.
I bet you the one you shot.
Which is he was judo chopped.
Yeah.
Um, yeah.
So you step over the dying demon.
Uh, Tawny, however, pauses.
Um, and he goes, I, I took an oath.
What are you going to stop and help him?
He will literally eat you.
I think I could make a difference.
I mean, I, I am a doctor.
You're not a doctor.
You're studying to be a nurse.
Well, it's the same principle of the thing.
I can't just leave with someone here to die.
It's not a person.
What are you going to do?
What do you mean it's not a person?
It's a person.
Are you saying squish isn't a person?
He's half a person or part of person.
Wow.
You want your live evil?
I bet you call him goblins too.
Part evil.
So how long is this, how long is this going to take for you to fix it?
All right, Tawny.
He's bleeding out badly.
I mean, I'll stay here.
You guys go on ahead.
No, no, I will help you.
You know, I can tinker bodies too, you know.
You could tinker bodies?
I don't know how that works.
Yeah, it's really complicated other than, you know, what is the body but a complicated machine.
Blood tinkering.
Yeah, so I have, I can tinker with bones, blood, and bodily humors to treat wounds or stabilize the dying.
If this is really, you know, something that you need to do for your oath or whatever bullshit.
I mean, all right, fine.
Roll your tinker roll.
And you get plus one, right?
Wait a minute.
You may study.
Everyone in your crew gets plus one.
I don't think I get plus one.
Okay.
Then roll your tinker.
To heal this man's broken body.
You almost got it.
It turns out that demon anatomy is slightly different than human anatomy.
And you do a pretty good job of, like, kind of stabilizing this guy.
But he is still kind of dying just a little bit slower than before.
What the hell is Tawny doing?
Well, Tawny's, like, applying pressure to the side as you, like, hastily, like, mummy wrap this guy in all the bandages you happen to have on you.
But not really anything like sewing him up.
He's like, I hate to leave this guy here, but are you sure you guys just can't go on ahead?
Have you tried opening a door and just seeing where you are?
I tried the tree.
Is that a door?
We've tried absolutely nothing, and we're all out of ideas.
I would like to open the door to the shack.
It's not locked.
So the door that leads to the castle has not been locked this entire time.
Wow.
We didn't start this fight, by the way.
No, you didn't.
Okay.
Just want the record to show.
I go in.
He's going in.
All right.
Who else is following?
I mean, is Tawny done?
Yes.
Is Tawny's Hippocratic oath, is it satisfied?
Can we let this guy die now?
I say to Tawny.
You could have kept that out of character, but you just had to bring it in there like that, didn't you?
It saves some time.
Are you trying to convince him or are you trying to bully him into doing this?
No, I'm asking him.
Does he feel better now about his Hippocratic oath?
I mean, I feel a little bit better.
I mean, maybe I should go get like another doctor or something.
We don't.
What?
He's got a friend.
He's just a little judo chopped.
You make a good point.
Just a little judo chopped.
Tawny is going to reluctantly go into the building.
So is DeeDee.
I take it patches and chuckles your following as well.
Yeah.
But I didn't want to lose any of our team members, especially our intern.
We just got him back.
Right.
And we keep forgetting about him.
Well, we might need him later for, you know, red shirting it, if you know what I mean.
Yes.
Yes, I do.
When you guys enter, you're faced with this very strange interior doorway or hallway.
Like outside, you notice there's all these windows and strange doorways kind of like halfway up the side of the wall.
And you see that there are very thin balconies leading from one door to another.
But this place is a real maze.
It's just an absolute mass of corridor and doors and walls and things that just don't seem to add up or make any sort of obvious sense.
They said you were near the kitchens.
You don't see or smell or see anything that looks like kitchens.
The only thing you do see, though, is you see a little signpost.
Shit.
I mean, one says kitchen.
Oh, can I lock the door behind us?
Yeah, go ahead.
You just put the bolt down.
That'll stop him.
That'll keep him warm.
It is empty in this part of the hallway.
You have not seen or heard anyone after you dropped, you left, went to the door.
Well, let's go to the kitchen and make some boom boom sauce.
All right.
You are.
Okay.
All right.
I mean, what do I do?
Help me remember what's in it.
Okay.
I'm there for moral support.
And I'm drinking again.
And yes, there is whiskey in there.
What happened to the Pomodoro technique?
For what?
I have a mutiny yet today.
Yes, she did.
It was literally today.
How long did it take us to wash up on shore?
I only said for 25 minutes a day, I wouldn't mutiny.
Okay.
And so far, for like the last 25 minutes, I don't think I've mutinied at all.
Do we want to take a quick break?
Yes.
Okay.
So you, Squish, you open the door that's labeled pointing, that's directly across from the signpost that says kitchen.
And when you enter it, you're back on the kitchen galley of the Kahuna wave.
You recognize it instantly.
It's the kitchen you've been in for like the last four or five months.
But this time, it's full of like demons.
And it's full.
It's just full of crew.
There's demons.
There's humans.
It's a whole mix of people.
Chuckles, patches.
Everyone sees this too.
You all walk into the same area.
And they look at you, Squish, and they give you a cheer.
And they're like, oh, it's the chef.
Everyone, three cheers for the chef.
Yeah, it's me.
How are we going?
What's going on?
Yeah, it's me.
Well, you're here.
We're so excited.
You're an amazing chef.
You look at everything you've done.
And they point.
And you just see all of these rows and rows and tables just filled with meat, with dishes you've made, with pastries,
with really delicate desserts, everything in between, soups, everything.
It's just miles and miles.
But it's clear that you've been cooking for many days now.
And it's your feast that you've prepared.
Enjoy, boys.
And woman?
There's a few scattered.
There are some women in the crowd.
And they hold up a drink.
And they all start drinking to you.
And they kind of dive into this feast that's in front of them.
Hey.
Can I look around and see if there's stuff to make the boom boom sauce?
Yeah.
Go ahead and study the room.
Chuckles, patches.
While he does that, what are you guys up to?
Oh.
I am not smart.
I'm sorry.
I'm confused.
Do they know Squish?
Yes.
Yeah.
I'm the chef.
They know me.
They all cheered when he entered.
They clearly know who Squish is.
This is a group of people who are well acquainted with Squish.
Squish, don't you think that's kind of weird?
No.
It's glorious.
Yeah.
No.
It's great for you.
But also, why do they know you?
Do you ever think about that?
They know me because I'm the chef.
Sound logic, I think.
It's circular.
We've never been to this island before.
You said that already.
This is the Kahuna Wave.
Squish is pretty good at his food, though.
I mean, you have to admit, it's pretty damn tasty.
I've always called him the chef.
Not to his face.
I could never.
I would never say this to his face, but he's a wonderful person and a great chef.
And not evil at all.
No.
No, it looks like the Kahuna Wave.
We're not on a boat.
That one sign did say ship.
Yeah.
In the other direction.
Yeah.
You did walk through the kitchen sign.
Hmm.
I think they're supposed to be together.
As you answer, to answer your question about whether or not you see anything, no.
Yeah.
This looks like this is just the dining hall portion.
You don't see any raw ingredients that would be useful to you here.
There's a dining hall on the ship?
Oh, I didn't see this picture.
It's the galley.
Yeah.
Oh, the galley.
Okay.
Is it in the ballroom?
Oh, so we are on a ship.
You walked through a door and you ended up on the galley of the Kahuna Wave.
Oh, so we are.
I think we just got mind freaked, fellas.
I'm mind freaked.
All right.
Let's go back through the door then.
It is locked.
Take care of that door open.
Juggles.
We're leaving the kitchen where we came.
Yes.
Okay.
And you'd like me to try to unlock it.
I'm a bit mind freaked right now.
I'm surprised none of you are mind freaked.
I'm mind freaked.
I just want to get out of here.
I'm trying to keep it together.
I'm like, all right.
This is a good.
This is good enough.
Let's go back.
Well, and Squish, I think you're just flattered.
Yeah.
It's not our crew.
I've never seen you this.
Our crew is us.
I've never seen you this flattered before.
These could be the ghosts when they were alive.
No, they're demons.
Who's to say the captain's had it even?
Oh, wait.
You knew him when he was alive.
We gave him the flesh test.
He passed the flesh test.
I think he gave you the flesh test.
No, he tried.
He's also not red or different colors or have horns.
He's just a regular looking man.
With a big beard.
Very sexy.
So the good news about your tinkering is that as you mess with the store,
you are aware that it is a physical lock.
However, you don't unlock it.
You realize that there is a very powerful spell magic that is keeping this door locked.
So the good news is it's not a physical lock.
The bad news is it is a magical lock.
Those are both bad things.
Well, yes.
But, you know, you don't get hurt doing it.
Yeah.
Hey, crew.
I want to get back through the store.
How do I do that?
Why do you want to leave?
I got to go back to the kitchen to make you an extra dessert.
Why?
They don't seem to understand.
They look around.
May I recommend the baked Alaska?
The baked Alaska, not a fish.
Or the boom boom sauce?
It's really good.
Especially with the boom boom sauce.
Several of the demons kind of stand up.
And they're, as you can see in the picture, various colors and creeds.
And they kind of stare at you and they're like, why would you want to go?
To make you more food.
We don't need more food.
We have all the food we're going to need right here.
I mean, don't you?
We have plenty.
Why don't you come enjoy some with us?
Have you ever had some of your own food?
Yes.
I have.
But I don't have to be full.
Like canonically?
Have you had your own food?
Patches, are you doing anything while this has happened?
What are you doing?
I'm trying to just scope out the room, but this is very unsettling.
I'm a little mind-freak, too, if I'm being honest.
Okay, do you want to do a survey?
Go ahead.
All right.
Survey says.
Where's my character?
I saw something.
Yeah.
So, Patches, you realize that this is a, like Chuckles, you realize that this is a magical setting.
You realize that you are not actually within the Kahuna wave.
And, in fact, if you really, really concentrate, you can kind of see where this magic has kind of blurred where you are with where it appears to be.
So, you can almost, like, on the edges of your vision, see this kind of, like, blurry effect.
You just assume that you're drunk and your vision's blurry, but now that you're a little bit more sober, you can tell that it actually is fake.
You're also aware that there is, like, not necessarily, like, a human presence in the room, but there is some sort of, like, thought here.
Is there another door beyond that, you know?
No.
So, you can't see another door.
Okay.
I see the captain has got that look in his eyes that he's been in a magical dimension.
He's a little mind freaked.
Yeah.
A little mind freaked.
Right.
But also, mind freaked mixed with, you know, he's in tune with some kind of, you know, other dimension.
And, uh, Captain!
Captain!
Yar!
Chuckles!
Something's not right with this ship.
I don't think, I don't trust it.
I don't think this is the Kahuna wave.
Have you tried to do a tune?
A what?
A tune.
You know, the thing that you can do as a ghost pirate?
I forgot I could do that.
I will.
Yeah.
A tune.
To the ghost dimension.
A magic dimension.
Anything else?
Are you asking me?
Yeah.
No, go ahead and attune.
All right.
Attuned.
Oh, I'm extra tuned.
I'm super attuned to everything right now.
I am so in touch with everything.
He's vibing.
I am vibing.
So what does it look like when you attune and successfully attune?
Let's just hear what that's like.
I'm vibrating.
And it's like matching the vibrating of the attunements.
So you just kind of like hit yourself with all those sound hammers and just like vibrate to the same tone.
It's kind of like when, you know, when Professor X in the X-Men like does his magic and like the little waves above his head start going out and that's how he does it.
Or it's not as magic as telepathy.
That's kind of what's going on here.
All right.
When you attune, it's like your vision like clears out and you realize what you are in.
Patches, you are in what is essentially just a cellar.
It's just a spare room that is blank.
There's actually nothing here.
It's kind of like a holograph deck if you can think like that.
But in the center of the room, you can see that there's some sort of artifact sitting there.
Okay.
Can I go play with it?
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
If you want to go up and look at it.
I mean, touch it.
Poke at it.
I mean, kind of metal with it.
Okay.
When you go and you when you go to touch the item, you recognize this.
This is something that you guys had earlier.
Paul?
In the game.
Is it Paul?
No, it's not Paul.
Paul is dead.
Paul's never coming back.
Paul's dead?
What happened to Paul?
Oh, not Paul.
Was Paul your grandpa?
He actually has the name of my grandpa.
There you go.
So this is the flute that you guys got on the first island.
This is your little recorder.
The magic recorder.
Magical recorder.
It can be used to play such hits as Hot Cross Buns.
And, you know, Mary Had a Little Lamb.
Yes.
All the hits.
Yeah.
And, you know, Jethro Tull.
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
Sitting on a park bench.
Hey, Aqualung.
You, yes.
So it's the recorder from earlier.
You recognize this as the one that was given to you by the demons at the last hurrah along with one of their CDs.
And, yeah.
It's physical.
It's real.
Okay.
Can I pick it up?
Yeah.
I pick it up.
And then...
You picked up the flute.
Yeah.
Congratulations.
I'm looking at it.
Can I try pulling Perfect C?
Yeah.
Okay.
So it's going to be a finesse roll.
And if I'm understanding correctly, you don't have any sort of musical ability whatsoever, right?
It's been harsh.
I mean...
I'm sorry.
Your character has exhibited no musical ability to this point.
Not to this point.
Okay.
So it's going to be a desperate thrill?
All right.
I'll just watch this.
I'm going to be so cool.
And this is going to be the coolest thing.
It turns out I'm an excellent flautist.
All right.
Ready?
It's the worst outcome.
You managed to produce the worst sound that's ever been made on a recorder, which is pretty
hard.
They're pretty sour notes anyways.
And the noise of it rips you back into the non-attuned world.
So you're back in the Kahuna wave.
You do have the flute with you, but the demons are covering their head and screeching.
It's just such an awful, awful note.
And all of them have gotten up.
There's about six here.
They all stand up.
And they start reaching for swords, for guns, for things that they have on them.
They're getting more aggressive the more they hear this noise.
Does that include me?
No, you are immune.
You are particularly immune from this one.
Can I blow again the brown note?
Let's find out what everyone else is doing first before you blow that brown note.
Squish, you see all of these demons start to get aggressive.
What's your next step?
And I see them, like, reaching for their weapons.
Yes.
Oh, I pull out mine.
Okay.
I aim in at the blue one.
All right.
Cool.
The sexy one, you mean?
Yeah, I don't know what's going on with that leg.
Yeah, go ahead.
I don't know if you guys can see this clock here.
It says never feel full again.
This is your clock for this particular battle sequence.
So go ahead and hunt that demon.
Oh, you get plus one for the rifle.
Critical.
Uh, there you go.
Uh, you, you aim your shot well and you're able to, uh, immediately, uh, pierce one of the demons.
Uh, the blue one that you had pointed at, uh, and it goes, the sexy one.
Uh, and it goes down and goes, ah, my sexiness.
Not that sexy.
Uh, uh, where are you up to?
You, you've now, now that fighting has broken out.
Oh boy.
Uh, hmm.
I am going to do like I always do in bar room balls and I'm going to hide under the table.
Okay.
I'm going to drop to my knees and crawl under the table.
Okay.
Uh, go ahead and roll your prowl to see how well, uh, you're hidden.
Oh yeah.
I'm a real creep.
Hmm.
Nice.
Uh, you managed to crawl somehow underneath the feet of all these demons who are now standing
up and like stomping around.
Um, and you are pretty clear under this table.
You know, it's a pretty large table and you're, you're just squished in there like a little bug.
Um, in the meantime, the demons are starting to wake up and like, you know, become very aggressive.
Uh, one of them sees you patches blowing that, uh, blowing, uh, the flu.
And he picks up just like a huge chair and just goes to throw it and whips it at you.
Okay.
Can I flip the table to use as defense?
Sure.
The very table that patches or that chuckles is under.
Which presumably you don't know about.
No, no.
You were very good at hiding.
I did not see you hide.
I'm so good at climbing on the ground.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
If that's the table you want to flip.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
It's going to be a finesse roll.
Very cool.
Here we go.
Oh man.
This table's turns out it's nailed to the ground.
It turns out I grabbed the leg as you try to flip it over and I push it back down.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
So you, you, you flip over the table, uh, and, uh, or try to attempt to, and instead you just
kind of like straight your back, unfortunately.
Uh, and you kind of like pull a muscle.
Why'd this game get so real?
I'm going to have you take level one harmed, strained muscle.
Oh, great.
Yeah.
You strained your bitch muscle.
getting Mr. Hyde under the table.
Well, I'm still healthy.
At least I have my health.
No, you got a bruised cheek ego.
Um, it's actually back slapped level one.
Yeah.
And the level two left concussion still.
Yes.
You still have your little take action.
Um, squish, uh, the demon in one of them, the one next to the one that you shot has reacted
enough that he is going to launch and try to grab for you, uh, and start grappling with
you.
Okay.
Uh, how would you like to, uh, resist that?
I don't think I really don't think I can.
He's not going to resist it at all.
He welcomes it.
Yeah.
Okay.
Uh, he takes you to the ground and kind of just starts like putting in these punches,
uh, into your side.
Uh, now I know you do have armor, correct?
I have, uh, uh, what's that called?
Tough as down.
Okay.
Um, so, uh, you were going to take some level one stress, uh, uh, bruised belly, but go ahead
and just, uh, since that's going to be lowered, uh, just take a stress point instead.
Okay.
Uh, patches, you are still safely under the table during this brawl.
Chuckles.
Sorry.
Chuckles.
You're still safe now.
Yeah.
Are you going to just stay there?
That's pretty cool.
Uh, can I, I would like to look at the sets of legs that I can see, uh, and try to find
the, uh, buff his legs and pull the owners of those legs pants down.
Oh, he's pants.
Yeah.
So, so, so this, uh, green demon kind of in the center, he's got some really buff kind
of hairy man legs.
Um, is that wearing shorts?
How do I know they're hairy?
Uh, he's not, he, no, that's a good question.
Uh, yeah, he's wearing some shorts, but really short kind of boy shorts.
Uh, the kind that kind of disappears when he sits down.
Uh, and you see these buff man legs.
I'm going to have to go up pretty high to find his, maybe I should just tie his shoelaces
together.
Cause I, cause I can't reach all the way up to his waist.
I was going to pull on his trousers, but if he's wearing short shorts.
I think you can still kind of grab him.
You might have to get up there, but yeah, you can still grab these shorts if that's what
you'd like to do is to de-pants him.
I, uh, no, I just want to make him trip so I can do.
Oh, okay.
Do the shoelaces trick?
Yeah, I could, uh, do that or pull his pants down.
Uh, but I just feel like I'd have to go, I'd have to go into danger to get to his pants.
Okay.
So you realize you plan B pants are too tight.
Uh, time to go for the shoe.
Too tight.
Time to go for the shoes.
Too sexy.
Uh, yeah.
And he's, uh, he's wearing boots.
Uh, so you tie his shoelaces together.
Uh, I think we, that was a tinker roll, right?
Tying the shoelaces.
Yeah.
Maybe I should do it to all the demons.
Uh, you can do it for the first one if you'd like.
Okay.
You can do what you're going to do.
You're a mad man.
Yeah.
Uh, so you are able to tie his, uh, shoes together.
Um, and he does trip and kind of go forward.
Uh, but he, as he trips, he kind of turns and sees you also on the floor.
Like once he falls, you're kind of at eye level with him.
Oh boy.
Perhaps this is a bad idea.
Oh.
Uh.
It's all, it's really awkward.
Especially.
Yeah.
Especially since you're the one who tripped him.
Uh.
Can I poke him in his eyes?
Yeah, sure.
But you gotta make a stu.
Rectum eyeballs.
Boink.
He, uh, he's able to block it using the big mo maneuver, you know, with his little hand.
Oh no.
Uh.
But, uh, you know, you are able to kind of stir your way out of his reach, uh, as he, you
know, deals with that.
Uh.
What are you doing?
Um.
I, uh, I'm jumped on the table.
And, uh, I'm, what is looking, what does it look like around me?
Where is everybody at?
Okay.
So, of the demons that were sitting there, uh, there were six.
One of them is dead.
Okay.
One of them is tackling, uh, squish.
Okay.
One of them has been, uh, shoelaced and eye poked.
So dead?
No, dead on the ground.
And two of the, three of the other, uh, demons are, uh, standing around and looking
for a victim, uh, and they see you.
Uh, Tawny is in the room as well.
Um, he is petrified though, and kind of hiding behind, uh, an empty barrel.
Dee Dee's also in the room.
All right.
Yes.
I want to call, I want to call Dee Dee to help me.
So.
Okay.
You figure out what you're doing.
Yeah.
Pat is what's up.
Classic.
The three that are together, they're all standing together, right?
Those three demons?
Uh, yeah.
And shoelaces are tied together.
All right.
I'm going to jump and like, just try to tackle all three of them off the, like, like, I'm
going to run off the table and just like dive.
Like the Royal Rumble.
Yeah.
Like the Royal Rumble.
All right.
Try to wreck it.
Any, any extra rolls?
Anything different?
No.
You're one person taking on three.
You've heard jumps out of their arms.
Three demons.
Uh, the good news is you're able, like with your arms out spread, you're able to kind of
grab all of them in one go.
Um, but somehow like with the wrestling on the floor, they've gotten the better of you.
So instead of like you being on top of all of them, uh, you're, you're pinned on top of
one demon and that the other two are able to scramble kind of away.
Oh, is he on the floor?
I don't know.
Are you looking for, uh, for him?
Me?
Patches?
Well, I was just thinking that if, if he was on the floor, he would be at eye level with
me.
I feel like I'm squirming with the one demon that I fell on and I look over and I see you
like, like just hiding underneath the table and you're like, kind of like waving at me
like you're like a little kid.
Cheering you on.
Oh, okay.
Go for his eyes.
So we, so we have four demons, four on the floor.
Uh, one that is engaged with you, uh, squish.
One that's engaged with, uh, patches.
Uh, yeah.
So it's three on the floor.
Three on the floor.
Yeah.
So squish, uh, I need to call GD over here to help get this demon off of me and fight.
All right.
Choose an additional.
Okay.
Uh, yeah.
So you call GD over to you.
Are you going to have GD just like start fighting with the demon that's on top of you?
Yes.
Okay.
Uh, so for that, I think you're going to have you roll your, uh, I guess it'd be skirmish.
Skirmish.
Uh, I think in the past.
Yeah.
I was going to say, I think in the past you've used command and two.
Uh, yeah, let's, uh, I'll have you roll your skirmish, but because you're using DD and she
does have a plus one against supernatural, uh, how do you go ahead and give yourself a plus
one with DD's help?
Uh, could have gone better.
Uh, DD screams and lunges for the, uh, for the demon that you're tackling with and just
completely whiffs it and just like, and just completely misses entirely and crying.
And it falls up in the corner.
God damn it.
Dee.
Uh, uh, uh, patches here.
Or, uh, or, well, yeah.
Uh, chuckles.
You're still under the table.
Yeah.
And I'm not, I'm not locked with that one guy.
Right.
No.
Would you like to do something?
He is in content and currently incapacitated.
All right.
Oh, he's incapacitated.
Yeah.
From, from the eye poke.
Well, you tied it.
The eye poke and the, he's not dead, you know, but he isn't getting up right now.
All right.
Uh, then maybe I should judo chop him just to be sure.
All right.
Give him a good old judo whack.
Um.
Which one was it?
I think we used wreck.
Good.
You're judo whack.
Uh, you are able to, you just slap him across the neck and he's out and you stare at your hand
and wonder because now you realize that you're not punching has evolved into the next level.
Net punching.
What?
My hand starts, my hand starts evolving.
Does it get bigger?
No.
Or like.
No.
It goes from this to just.
Yeah.
You like open your hand and realize the power of your open fist, you know?
Then I go into a blind judo chopping rage.
Yeah.
Do you want to?
Do you think it works on nuts?
Yeah.
I imagine it does.
Uh, yeah.
Let's try one more judo whack.
Uh, I've, I'm starting to taste blood.
Okay.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
In a good way.
Uh, so just to, to confirm, we've got the, uh, we've got one guy that two, two are down.
One's been judo, judo chopped.
One's been shot and killed.
One is grappling with squish.
One is grappling with, uh, patches and there are two freebies.
Uh, I'll start.
I'm going to whack the one that is, um, you know, on, on patches.
Yeah.
All right.
Go ahead and give yourself a, a, a wreck.
In the reverse of the tree this time, you whack him pretty good.
Uh, and he like is stunned and he turns around.
Uh, so patches, you are now free, but he is now also focused on you now.
Uh, uh, chuckles.
Oh, um, so patches, you're now free of this guy.
Mm.
What are you doing?
Oh, hold on.
Um, let's see what, um, let's see if I, uh, do you have any equipment?
Yeah.
I was just saying what I had.
Um, can I pull out my trusty, uh, chain hook?
Your lightning hooks?
Yeah.
It turns out I haven't won.
And I start swinging it around like real medicine, like, and, uh, I'm going to try to try it out.
I'm going to try to try to loop them.
Uh, yeah, go ahead and, uh, throw.
I'm going to say that's what?
Wreck?
Uh, I'm going to say finesse.
Cause it's like, it's like, you've got to try to loop them.
Right?
Yeah.
So it's going to require a little bit of skill.
All right.
Throw.
All right.
You grab, which one are you trying to, uh, to grab?
The one that I just got, just got freed from.
Okay.
Uh, you catch him and he like, uh, now stops.
Uh, and now his attention again is turned back to you.
Uh, so now chuckles.
You're the free one.
Uh, squish.
Uh, you are grappling with the guy in the ground.
Yes.
I would like to try to pull my pistol.
And shoot him.
Right in the belly.
All right.
Uh, pistol blast blasted mama.
You're all about the belly shots today.
Yeah.
They're rough too.
Well, that's.
Really.
Things go badly.
Yeah.
I'm going to have him take the, uh, take the, your pistol.
And he's going to, before you can really get it out of, uh, your holster, he's going to
grab it and kind of take it and just toss it into the room.
Uh, and he's going to give you a good deck across the cheek.
Um, so I'm going to have you roll your resistance for that.
Uh, it's B prowess.
Well, it's very bad.
Well, it's a success, but you can, uh, you suffer three stress.
Oh, sweet Jesus.
Uh, so his punch hits you, but you're like not shocked by it.
And in fact, you're kind of at this point able to kind of lift, like push him off.
Uh, so you guys are more on equal footing at this point.
Um, um, chuckles.
You've now been, uh, the guy you're grappling with has now been tangled up by patches, lightning
hooks.
Oh, cool.
I better not touch him though.
Cause I'll get zapped.
Yes.
You would get zapped.
All right.
I don't want to be zapped.
Uh, you are a sweaty, sweaty man.
Yeah.
With anything.
Sweat conducts electricity.
Everybody knows that.
Uh, with the salt too.
All right.
I don't know if this is actually representative of the room.
Are there as many ropes in this room as this image suggests?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'd like to somehow get onto these ropes.
Uh, I'd like to like maybe climb up the wall onto a rope.
Okay.
What's your intention of?
Yeah.
My intention is to swing on the rope and use my little legs to kick at some, some demon.
The rope will just help me get higher so I can kick in the face without a ladder.
Sure.
So, uh, roll your finesse to see how well you're able to climb up these ropes.
All right.
Hell yeah.
Like a little spider monkey.
You are just up that tree.
I'm better than the actual monkey we have.
Yeah.
I mean, I did get a lot of, you know, experience climbing up the sails and the ropes and stuff.
If you remember, I was doing a lot of knot tying, a lot of knot flying.
I was wild.
He's right.
He learned.
Yes.
You were, you were wild.
Uh, yeah.
So you're up on the top of these ropes now.
Uh, and you're able to scurry away.
Yeah.
And I'm going to, you know, climb up and then I'm going to push my legs off of the wall and
towards one of the, you know, just the, the massive demons.
I'm not really aiming at any particular one.
I'm just hoping that I hit someone as I'm swinging.
Okay.
Uh, so you're kind of just like jumping down on them from above.
Tarzan style.
Yeah.
Exile.
Like, you know, ready to kick whatever you come into contact with.
I was hoping more like a musketeer than, uh, than an eight man.
Okay.
Uh, a musketeer style.
How French.
Uh, yeah.
Go ahead and roll your, your rack.
And then I'll give you, because of your height, you can have plus one.
What, what about my height?
Cause it's really cool.
You're well, you're up in the rope.
So I'm imagining you have quite a bit of speed and momentum.
I didn't mean your height, like personal height.
I meant your height in the room.
Oh, that was close.
Yeah.
Uh, you, you are able to like the two demons that are, uh, standing up.
You're able to kick them both and send them to the ground.
Nice.
Uh, patches.
The ghost you have lightning hooked.
I want to pull.
Or demon.
I'm sorry.
I want to pull him at me like a scorpion.
Like, get over here.
And then give him a good hard kick.
Okay.
Uh.
I guess you're skirmish.
That's kind of skirmish.
What?
It's a little skirmishy.
Yeah.
I give you some plus one, because again, you have him tied up.
You have him at a disadvantage.
Okay.
So.
So, plus one.
You succeed in just kind of getting him closer to you.
And he is, he's going to try and break free of his, uh, of the chains that you have on him.
So, in order to resist that, uh, patches, I'm going to have you roll your, uh, let's see.
Your insight to see how well these hooks actually work.
Okay.
So, he strains against these hooks, but he's on it.
And you see them bend and kind of weaken, but they don't break.
Um, but you are going to take one stress because for a moment you're like, oh, is it going to break?
Is it going to break?
No.
Just going to stress me out.
Yep.
All right.
Uh, squish back to you.
You're now on like terms with this guy.
You have lost your, your rifle or was your pistol?
I'm sorry.
It was my pistol.
Uh, yeah.
So, what would you like to do next?
Squish.
Um, I'm going to shoot the guy that threw my pistol.
You're going to, you have your rifle with you?
Yeah.
Always.
All right.
Basically, a chance hit the hit.
Go for it.
Do it.
Got it.
So, the one guy that, uh, yep, you were squaring off with, shoot him.
Where do you shoot him?
Um, you know, right?
Hmm.
Right in the neck.
Ooh.
That's going to be messy.
Man, you're brutal today.
You're dark.
Right.
He goes right in the neck and just immediately slugs to the ground.
Uh, blood kind of getting everywhere.
Uh, chuckles.
Uh, you've kicked these two demons.
You're now on the ground.
Back on the ground again.
Yeah.
Uh.
So, oh, I'm on the ground.
Oh, I, but I'm not like laying on the ground necessarily.
No, no, but you did kick them and now you kind of landed.
Okay.
Um.
Can I do a judo kick?
Yeah.
On their necks?
Yeah.
Judo kick their necks.
Or maybe just one, I guess.
So roll my tinker.
Yeah.
Roll your, yeah.
Tinker their necks.
Tinker those necks.
Judo stomp.
Uh, you, you, you kind of do like a high kick, right?
Oh, but it's like, yeah, it goes way up and then bam.
Like a horse, like a horse kick.
Nice.
Uh, what you get, one of the demons square in the face or in the, you tell me how do you kick it?
You kick him like, uh, I was sort of aiming for the softest part between his head and his body, which is his neck.
Uh, uh, yeah.
So you throat punch him essentially.
A throat kick him.
Throat stomp.
Yeah.
Throat stomp him.
Uh, he kind of like, you, you know, he could tell he has difficulty breathing and he kind of just slumps, uh, back to the ground.
Crushed windpipe.
Uh, and now patches.
Now he's brutal.
I just saw you shoot that guy in the neck and I was like, I guess, yeah, you're right.
Necks are soft.
Yeah.
They are soft.
Uh, patches.
You have this guy in the, uh, in the tight rope, uh, but he's closer to you now.
Uh, and he's struggling to get free.
I, I kick him in the groin.
All right.
Shoot him.
Stop him in the groin.
Wreck him.
Classic maneuver.
Uh, yeah.
Tell me how you judo stomp him in the groin.
Oh, I imagine he's coming closer and that my whole attack, which was to bring him closer to me, was kind of failing.
And, uh, yeah, he kind of grappled with me and I kind of panicked.
And it wasn't like I really intended to do that.
But once I started, I really committed.
That's my purse.
Exactly.
And I really let him.
Uh, you judo stomp him into the ground.
Uh, he.
Into the groin.
And he, he falls, uh, just slumped over.
Uh, there's one demon left and he's kind of staring at his friends who are, uh, has been, uh, tied up.
Who have been judo stomped, judo punched, shot in the neck.
One's just dead.
Uh, and he is terrified.
And before he can say or do anything at the last moment, you hear Tawny go, ah, and Dee Dee at the same time, they leap and they just like tackle this guy.
And Dee Dee just starts wailing on him.
And she's so pissed.
She embarrassed herself earlier.
And what you can sense through your, through your, uh, bond, uh, squish is that she's telling you, like, I've been on a boat for the last six months.
I haven't actually been on solid ground in almost a year.
So, you know, I was a little off my game, uh, but she's so embarrassed.
And eventually, uh, you see Tawny stand up and he pulls Dee Dee off like, that's enough, that's enough, that's enough.
Uh, and the final demon is, is just, you know, incapacitated, bloody bruising on the floor.
I hope Dee Dee lights up a blood-soaked cigarette.
My God, that's dark.
Um, as they stand up and the last kind of demon just kind of whimpers away, the whole scene kind of fades out.
Uh, and you see what, uh, Patches saw earlier, which is that this is just a very plain room.
Um, it looks like a storage closet or like a pantry that's just kind of empty.
There's like shelves, a basket on the chair, a basket with just some dust.
It's just nothing.
It's an old storeroom.
Uh, and the door that was locked, you kind of hear click is now unlocked.
Okay.
All right.
So Dee Dee's just got to beat the shit out of someone and doors unlock.
I'm sure that's the lesson we learned here.
Oh no.
Are we in another one of these castles?
We're like, they, we just keep getting mind freaked.
Yeah.
All over, all over again.
Mind freak castle.
You know, mind freaker.
Oh, I guess there's only the only way out is through and over and under.
Yeah.
Not that guy.
You get back out to the people.
You get back out into the hallway, uh, that you were in and the, uh, the door closes behind
you.
Here's the, uh, again, just the signpost.
Now we're back in the hallway.
You're back in the hallway.
And now we didn't even get to go to the, we didn't even get to go to the kitchen.
Yeah.
Where's my boom, boom sauce.
Let's go to the bedroom.
Wait a second.
I think I have a better ship.
So the kitchen is clearly for, for squish.
The ship is clearly for patches.
Mine is bedroom.
All right.
Well, I'm going to go to the bedroom.
That's the last thing they'll expect.
You enter the bedroom.
Um, and you walk through the door and again, you, you kind of feel the same thing.
The door clicks shut behind you.
Uh, and this time though, the bedroom that you're in, uh, uh, chuckles.
You remember this.
This is lady high Hills bedroom.
Yeah.
It smells just like her.
It is.
Uh, mind freaking me.
Oh no.
Last time this happened, he just turned into a puddle of feelings.
In her bedroom.
You guys weren't there for that.
No.
After the afterwards.
When she dumped me.
Thanks for reminding me.
See, it's starting already.
I know.
And I start crying.
I start like getting emotional.
Clearly.
Uh, you're crying.
End of session.
Uh, no, I, when you walk in there, you see, uh, that late there is a sitting on the bed,
sitting away from you.
Um, is, is lady high Hill, uh, looking out the window.
Oh, there you are.
I would like to approach her from behind and.
Which slowly brings up the rifle to aim at her.
Oh my God.
Squish.
Oh, but I don't see it.
Cause I'm facing the other way.
Yeah.
I'm definitely not going to go smell her hair or anything, but.
I, you know, just, uh, close.
No, no.
Juggles.
So we've learned from the last one that this probably isn't real.
Well, the last one felt real.
And this feels real as well for you.
Um, and in fact, so you go and you approach her from behind.
Do you, are, are you just crossing over the bed?
Are you coming in front of her or you're just kind of approaching her from behind?
Well, I mean, normally my move would be to crawl over the bed.
I feel like that would be inappropriate with two other men in the room.
Uh, if you want to, you can go ahead and crawl.
I can, I can go into the closet.
What?
I'll go into the closet.
So you feel less inadequate.
Whoa.
I know you guys, we're not talking about this out loud in character.
Just so you know, I haven't said anything like this effect.
I just said, you can go, you can crawl if you want to.
Whatever makes you feel comfortable.
I just walk, walk, uh, walk around, walk around the bed.
And I said, Hey, Hey, my, my darling lady.
Lady High Hill.
He turns her head.
And in that instant, uh, chuckles.
She suddenly has the head of a bird, a little canary type one.
Oh no.
And when she opens her mouth, it's just the sound of a canary tweeting.
And you remember, you remember this, this flashback that you had told us about when you had killed.
Never murder anyone.
Um, and all of a sudden from out of the closet door, here is your uncle Skylock and he sees you.
No, you have your hand out to approach her, right?
Like you took to touch her.
You're kind of reaching for her face and feet and judo choppers covered in blood.
Yeah.
You're judo choppers covered in blood.
And she, and he sees your bloody hands reaching for her.
And he just starts laying into you.
Chuckles.
How could you?
I told you, you never murder anyone.
You can't murder no one.
But it was so convenient.
Oh, that makes it all right.
Chuckles.
I can't, I can't believe.
And he sort of morphs into this like strange, like monster being made out of clay.
Uh, and suddenly he's come into contact with you.
He's, he's, he like shoves you to the ground.
Oh, and I will not fight you.
Uncle Sklock.
Lady High Hill, the bird headed Lady High Hill is just squawking.
Uh, and the noise is just kind of like everywhere in your head.
Uh, squish, uh, I shoot that thing.
Susan starts squawking.
No, don't shoot her.
She could be reasoned with.
Nope.
Shoot her.
Can I blow my flute?
What?
Can I blow, can I blow the brown note again?
Yeah, sure.
Go ahead and give your flute, give your flute a two.
What is it?
Finesse?
It's, uh, uh, it's a finesse and it's, uh, it's a high, a desperate.
Desperate.
Yeah.
Success.
Exactly.
And I just make that blow the flute as like loud as I can.
That one.
Uh, the quiet, all the noise.
So when you blow your flute, uh, patches, a couple of things happen.
Uh, one.
So, uh, Chuckles, you're on the ground.
You are turning and you're reaching up.
You're yelling at Squish.
No, no, no.
Stop.
Uh, the uncle Skyluck monster is kind of like looming over you.
Uh, Lady High Hill bird is just like in the middle of a squawk.
Uh, and then, uh, Chuckle, or I'm sorry, Squish, you have the gun out ready to shoot.
And when you blow your little toot horn, everything just freezes.
This will make it a lot easier.
Turns out I am a musician.
I always knew it.
Uh, the only ones who are active, uh, for a moment, neither of you move.
And then you realize, um, Chuckles and Squish that you are able to move within this kind of
like stilled world.
Wow.
It's like everything froze.
I thought I was frozen for a while.
Yeah, you were like, you're just laying there and then you realize that you're not actually
frozen.
You've just been pretending to be frozen.
Cause that's what you like saw.
And so that's what you're expecting.
I said, I'm trying to blend in.
I sat on the bed embracing the silence.
I'm like, boys, that was a lot of noise from that.
What is up with your girlfriend there?
She's pretty loud in this little fantasy.
What?
I know she's throughout the room.
What?
You can't, you can't shoot her within this setting.
Uh, you will have to go back to like the positions you are in before you can move, but you are
free to move at this point.
You're kind of like in a moment stilled in time, but it's not going to be like to get back
there.
You have to kind of resume your positions.
Oh, okay.
Gotcha.
Yeah.
Is there anything around that?
Oh yeah.
Sorry.
I'm going to start rifling through the drawers.
I'm going to start rifling through the bed.
Uh, I, I, I just sort of take a load off.
Cause I'm on my back.
Right.
Uh, yeah.
You were kind of on your back.
Like when you were frozen, you kind of were like yelling at squish to, to not chew.
Uh, so you are like slightly upright, but yeah, you just kind of sit up in the upright position.
Yeah.
Cause I'm, I'm continuing to be mind freaked.
Yeah.
Uncle clay monster and a hot mama bird man.
My head.
The only two people I've ever loved.
It turns out they're monsters.
So it turns out these aren't your real people that you loved.
Cause I don't think lady high hill had a bird's head.
I might be wrong.
I imagine.
I've, I've stopped rifling through the bed.
I'm just kind of like sprawling on the bed.
Kind of like relaxing.
I pull a bottle out.
You know, we could stay at this moment for just a little bit and catch our breath boys.
Uh, cause I don't know what the fuck is going on.
Juckles.
I'm pretty mind freaked.
Are you mind freaked?
I'm mind freaked.
We should take a, we should take a long rest.
So we're all just, we're all just going to get into the bed together.
No, you stay on the floor.
Wow.
You seem comfortable there.
I am comfortable here.
I spent a lot of my life sleeping on floors.
All right then.
What's your problem?
It hurts.
Uh, so that's where we're going to leave it for tonight.
Uh, squish, uh, is still right.
Are you rifling through the drawers?
Are you laying on the bed?
Oh, you're rifling through her drawers, huh?
I'm rifling through the drawers.
Yeah.
So you're rifling through the drawers, uh, patches.
You are, uh, just laying on the bed.
I imagine with your heads up by the pillow.
Yup.
And then, uh, chuckles.
You are laying on the floor, kind of just moping.
Yup.
What are you doing?
What are you putting on here?
It's Pauly, Pauly Walnuts.
I know.
Really?
Yeah.
He was actually in the mafia.
Yeah.
Look at him.
Oh my God.
It really is him.
Why does he look like he's from like the 1910s or the twenties or something?
This was in 1978.
He's a man out of time.
He truly is.
He's a man of the time.
Who wears suspenders at a beach?
To keep his pants up.
He's not like he's wearing a belt.
They all did back then.
Who wears boots at a beach?
That was beach wear.
People afraid about getting sand in their toes.
Yeah.
You can, if you wear, get high enough boots, the water won't get in there.
That's genius.
That's how waiters work for fishing.
Maybe he was fishing.
Fishing for a bitching.