episode four space truckin road trip with the van needing fixing the crew bartered for repairs
relying on the humble panini as trade-stuffs to get air and space-borne.
The piloting of Kale and the not-pushing of buttons at Kataz
brought them steady and level in the void.
But their journey took a bizarre turn when they discovered an unexpected stowaway,
a massive-ish, half-tamed wampa named Brisket, lurking in the ship's vents.
A flashin' and a treatin' relegated the beast to a cage in the back.
And an unschewing of wires by Uli, the fan is humming along again.
Now, let's not forget, they need to get to Skyhold Base, a hidden fortress somewhere amidst the war-torn expanse of the dead meridian.
Do you capitalize the things, or is it just capitalized, like, automatically?
Oh, no, I capitalize them. These are things you're supposed to be focusing on.
I was just going to say, I appreciate it.
See, I didn't pick up on that until this time, when you, like, really, really emphasized.
How many?
We're supposed to go to where?
I can't even remember where we're supposed to go.
Brisket.
I remember Brisket.
We're supposed to go to the Bread Meridian.
You can click on the characters,
and they'll bring up your sheets.
Yeah, Brisket has a sheet.
If you have permission to see it.
Brisket's got a sheet, or is Brisket?
brisket's in a cage where she belongs
he belongs it belongs
okay
let's see
what we're supposed to do at the end of sessions
is dole out
moral points
level up
you guys did nothing
for leveling up because
you wasted yet more
of your precious session time
bickering mostly.
But, no,
morale points.
This basically determines whether you're
light side or dark side.
So they're
kind of like experience points.
Except you can't buy anything with them.
Except being good or bad.
So, let's see. One of the tabs
has morale on it.
I think Andy should be Dr. Morale for not flushing.
Oh yeah, no, I have that on my list.
Which tab?
It's the one that looks like a balance, like a Justice, you know, like the Lady Justice balance.
The Kale?
Oh, Morality.
Kale, I don't know. Do you know how to get to your, I don't remember, have you been to your sheep yet, Kale?
Flashmaster.
So if you just double click on your character,
then you can get it.
Okay, I see it.
Yeah.
Let's see.
It's like the second from the bottom.
It looks like little justice scales.
You should be at 50 to start.
Yep.
And then plus these modifiers.
I'm giving plus three to Clyde
for attempting to be a hero
and flash sticking the...
The Wampa, even though he was unsuccessful.
I was successful.
I hit him.
The role was successful.
I want it recorded that the role was successful.
I'll write that down right here.
All right, good.
Okay.
It's recorded in this tiny book.
Okay.
Uli, plus three, morality.
For healing Clyde.
Kale and Taz.
Both plus three for helping the animal without hurting it.
But Clyde doesn't get any taken away for her yet?
No, because he was being a hero.
He was trying to protect you guys.
Yeah, I was trying to be a hero.
If anything, you're the villain.
You didn't flush.
And, yes.
Minus one.
Minus one morality to Taz for not flushing, which is total dick mo.
Did you see the video I sent, Tiger?
Yes, I did.
Let them feel the wrath of the monarch.
It was all sound and fury signifying nothing.
Okay.
Now, if you, I still have to figure out how many points I should be giving you,
just like scaling it.
If you get to 75 or 80, does anybody remember?
We talked about it briefly.
Then you're basically in light side.
You're on the light side.
And if you're at 25 or 20, I don't remember which,
then you are a dark side user.
I think it's 75.
While a character maintains morality above 70 points,
they become a paragon, a champion of good.
Yeah, so if you make it to 70,
I guess likewise
you reach 30
yeah Darkside is
29 right
okay that sounds right
which one are we aiming for guys
I'm a good guy
I thought you were a librarian
that's what you think
librarians are notoriously evil
yeah evil librarians
wreck me to the smut
do I have to
it's in the Jedi library
behind the beaded door
Jedis are kind of broods
oh it moves now
oh wow technology
wow
you guys are cruising along in the ship
Taz and
let's see what we're exactly doing.
I think we put our characters where they are.
I think.
Kale moved all the way back up to the front.
He's piloting the ship.
Taz is probably in the back talking to the Wampa.
And Uli, you, you just un-chewed the wires.
And Clyde, I think you were, I think you were bitching.
I was in pain.
I was hurt.
I mean, I know, but I was still hurt.
You know, now I'm like, you know, you know, emotionally, I think I'm all right now, but I was attacked by a vicious beast.
You're going to hold this over my head the whole time, aren't you?
What?
You're going to hold this over me the whole time, aren't you?
You put a force shield up when I was trying to do something cool for the first time in my life, when I was trying to hit a wampa with a flashlight stick.
I realized that after we, probably after I woke up the next day, I was like, the one time he tried to act heroic,
I stopped him.
The first time we used the force ever, I stopped him.
I stood in the way of my co-player.
But, I mean, I didn't want you to hurt Frisket.
Well, he hurt me.
Wait, are you guys in character or not?
This is a little bit of column A, a little bit of column B.
I mean, we're working it out.
Yes, I agree.
But you're healed. You're fine.
Yeah, I'm healed.
I don't know about fine.
He's saying something hurts.
Yeah, his ego is hurt.
My ego?
I was scratched by a vet monster.
A pygmy wampa.
A pampa.
Great.
okay
well uh cool so the ship's
floating uh normally now
just just in the general
away direction from Coruscant
all right
yeah we should find this place that we're supposed to go to
yeah I'm gonna go
I'm gonna go talk to Kale
can I make my way up to the
front of the ship yeah go ahead
all right cool I see Kale
over at the controls and I'm is there two
chairs up here or just one? There's two. There's the one behind me.
Alright, she's going to slip into the seat behind you. She goes, so
do you know where we're going?
The dead meridian? Know where we're going after that?
It's a little bit fuzzy as to this fortress
you're looking for. We might have to do a little bit of
be a little bit vigilant when we get there.
Yeah, yeah, I've never heard of this Skyhold base.
Hold on.
She leans behind her and yells down the hallway,
you guys ever hear of a Skyhold base?
What?
Did you ever hear of a Skyhold base?
No.
I've never left the planet before.
No.
She's going to lean forward.
I'm going to lean forward.
Listen, Kale, I hate to say this,
but I think you and I might be the most competent on this particular mission.
What?
What'd you say?
I haven't really had a chance to show my expertise,
but I want to say you're doing a great job flying this ship.
I have no clue where we're going.
I'm not really space-traveled.
I've only been to a couple places.
Of course, I'm being the main one.
Well, the Dead Meridian, very large, vast area.
A little bit concerned.
We're going to be spending some time.
Unless you guys recall anything that might have been said,
maybe some characteristics about this styhold base
that would help maybe guide to where we're going.
One second, and I'm going to go jog back to Clyde
and be like, so Clyde, you...
Hold on.
What'd you say?
Mind you, it's the text-less book I'm reading.
You know anything?
Do you remember anything about this base that we're going to?
I mean, I take notes, but out of character, I don't remember anything.
No, no, I just know we have to go there.
Out of character and in character.
I just know we have to go there.
Okay.
Alright, I'm going to jog to the back of the ship where Taz is.
Taz!
Jog to the Wampa first.
I look up from the cage.
I give the Wampa a withering glare.
Just the most withering I can manage.
Is that a good or bad stare? I don't know.
I'm just going to leave this alone then and jog back to the front of the ship.
He doesn't know whether it's good or bad.
Turns out...
That was a question both in and out of character.
Turns out we're dumb as hell.
And we don't know anything.
Does the ship have a computer or anything on it?
Do I need to scan for that?
Yeah, it has a computer.
Yeah, not like a ship could work in the controls,
but like a general just like, can I face...
Like the internet?
Yeah.
Do we have Wi-Fi?
Yeah, you have access to the holonet.
Cool.
I'm going to spend some time searching the holonet for whatever I can find out about this guy hold base,
this dead meridian, and that one guy we got to go find.
Commander Gormick.
I did write that down.
Okay, cool.
I'm going to go do that for a little bit.
Okay.
So I will say, you know, once we get there, there's probably a few areas I would maybe start looking at.
But if you guys, you know, you can find anything that would help guide us to maybe at least one or two potential areas.
Cool.
I wish I could remember what Master Cloak Coon told us.
Is there something?
I was clicking on my skills button.
I thought that was me.
Hello?
Hello, who is this?
The beeping is coming from the communicator in the robes of Clyde.
Is this thing on?
Hello?
Oh, it's back.
It was upside down.
Hello?
Hello.
Who is this?
This is Master Plo Koon.
Oh, hi.
Hi, sir.
You left me a message?
Yeah, I found a book of yours.
Yes?
It's blank.
You know anything about that?
Yeah, it was bait.
So we could sack you.
Wow.
That's it?
Yeah.
This mystery really went south fast.
I was really interested in this mystery of why the book was blank.
Oh, it's because it's not real.
It's like one of those books that you keep at, you know, displays.
I've been reading this.
I've been combing this thing for as long as I've been on this ship
trying to find out what the mystery was, and this is it?
All of the pages are blank, my son.
Okay, so what do I do with it?
recycle it, I guess.
Maybe you could jot your thoughts and feelings in it.
If it was blank, why did you write your number down in it?
Oh, that's how you got this number?
Yeah.
Are you like customer service?
Do you make your own books on Space Etsy or something?
No.
The only thing I can think of is
you saw the impression of my number
because I used a notepad that was sitting on top of the phone.
Oh. Okay.
Well, while I got you on the phone,
the submission you sent us on,
you're going to need some details.
Hey, Bully! Bully!
Yeah?
How are you guys getting along?
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
I'm talking to a pretty green lady.
Bully!
You want to talk to Master Plo Koon?
I think the pretty green lady was in the other...
Hold on, I am talking.
Oh, sorry.
Did you just shush a Jedi Master?
Did I hear Plo Koon?
No, you didn't.
I come running out to try to talk to Master Plo Koon.
No, he's on my...
I'm also going to come around because I hear someone screaming my name.
I've got it on speakerphone.
Is that Master Plo Koon?
I've got Master Plo Koon.
You guys thought I was just a willy-nilly, works-in-the-library kind of guy.
And here I am.
I got the big honcho on the phone.
Now, what did you guys want to ask me?
Master Plo.
It's Taz.
You got Taz on the phone.
Taz, what do you got to say?
And I'm walking around like it's a microphone.
Taz, what do you got to say?
How are you, Master?
Well, I just got this strange message, and I called back.
and well here we
are I'm doing okay I'm
a little worried that
how's the how's the mission
coming along
well we got a wampa
we bought a wampa
we fought a wampa
I caught a wampa
he caught a wampa
we bought caught and bought a wampa
we bought caught bought a wampa
Huh. And you rode the Wampa to space?
No, we got a pizza delivery truck.
It's a lot spacious than you think. A lot of pizzas can fit in there.
No, it's an animal transport vehicle.
It said pizza delivery. I translated it.
I know books. I work in the library.
Yeah, that sort of explains the caller ID.
What's the caller ID?
The caller ID.
What's caller ID?
This is coming from the Jedi Zoo animal delivery vehicle.
Animal Zoo pizza delivery vehicle.
That is a really weird pizza company name.
I don't know.
Maybe this company just delivered pizzas specifically for the zoo.
Animals need pizzas too.
Master Polkun, I think we're getting off base here.
Yeah, hold on. Uli is on the phone.
Uli, what do you got to say?
Hold it.
We're headed to the skyhold base.
We met someone.
Seems like they know what they're doing.
And, yeah.
Anything you got?
You met someone that seems like they know what they're doing.
He helped us catch the wampa.
Her name's Brisket.
The wampa, not the man that helped us.
You met a man named Brisket.
No, the Wampa's name is Brisket.
We've met someone. We're moving on.
You didn't add someone to the crew, did you?
No.
Well, what if we did?
You didn't tell him about the mission, did you?
He has a really cool hat.
I mean, he's trustworthy, believe me.
Should we tell him about the mission?
Only in the most vaguest of terms.
Is that because you only are vaguely aware of what you're doing?
When I say vague terms, I mean we told them everything.
We're splitting the bounty.
Well...
Listen, you gave us no ship, no knowledge, no gun, no nothing.
I've been reading this book for a while now trying to figure out what the secret was,
and it turns out it was bullshit.
I think they're back to me.
Okay.
All right.
Fair is fair.
Yes.
I realize none of you had piloting experience or had hardly ever been off the planet.
Or really, no.
You guys have experience.
We picked you for a very particular reason.
Okay.
The sky won't play.
Where is it?
We're waiting.
What reason was that?
Because right now, these people are insane.
well we picked you because you are strong you are strong in the force you have force potential
that's why we need you on this this special mission i thought that was pretty obvious
well taz i'm glad that you caught it yeah wish you would have shared that with the rest of your
companions because they were very confused.
I just assumed I was
the best one.
So I didn't
think that they needed
to know that
they weren't as good.
Hold on, Masterful.
Taz, have you ever heard of someone called Rx?
No.
Is that an animal?
No, never mind.
Listen, Master Platoon, well, we got you.
It seems like, yeah, you.
So we're headed to the Skyhold base.
Anything we, I mean, full steam ahead, right?
There's not going to be any issues once we get there.
Oh, it's very dangerous.
So you will need to find your way across.
One snag.
Because of the separation of powers,
I do not know where Skyhold base is.
Separation of powers
What?
I'm in the Jedi Council
I'm not in the Senate
I'm not in the military
That makes more sense
You just said you don't know
I'm sorry
Are you okay?
I'm really upset
That empty book has really scrambled your brain
This book I'm really upset
I thought there was a mystery here
And there's not
so
do you know where we can find out
you can talk to
director Izzard
which is the man that's
part of the security council
the security council is me
and director Izzard
that starts with a Y
and the woman's senator
Jenny Hanuk
do you have their number
no but
the senator will
And she is shortly going to be at a diplomatic conference outside of Duros.
Which is conveniently on the way to the dead Meridian.
Oh, so you just got to go to Duros and talk to the senator.
Yeah.
What planet is she a senator on?
She is a senator from Lithnos.
Beautiful this time of year, I've heard.
Yes, probably.
I'm sure you're right.
Glistnose.
And this is your purse number?
We can call you anytime we need?
Please, please, don't call me.
Please don't ever call me again.
No, I am here to help you.
But I must remind you that the Force is going to be important.
So if I were you, I would not neglect to take the time that you have.
Get lightsaber, so I got it.
No, please listen.
Please, you know, take the time while you're on the long trek in the van,
the pizza delivery van or whatever you call it,
to practice your force powers.
And watch out for Commander Vorbeck.
He's a valuable asset for the Republic.
But let's just say war forces difficult choices.
Isn't he the one that we got to kill?
No, Gorvec is not the one you need to kill.
You need to kill, or otherwise neutralize, Tiber Solvar.
Gorvec, Solvar, I can see where I got confused.
Yes, they both have Vs.
Yes, it's a very uncommon thing.
Yes.
Dorvek will help you get across the dead meridian
and closer to the base.
To Lvar's base.
Which the Jedi Council, for some reason,
is not privy to.
Okay.
So you gotta go to Doris?
Doros
Okay
Who are you guys talking to back there?
Who's that?
No one
You don't need to know
The less you know the better
We're just talking to Brisket
That's Brisket or Wampa
Anyway we'll talk to you later
Hey thanks for all the advice
we'll go get uh you know commander gorvik and commander solvar and we'll also go talk to that
senator lady we got it all marked down thank you for the book yeah thank you for the book i'm gonna
use it as a weapon at some point in time just because you know it's empty and i'm gonna throw
it at somebody but hey have a good night what are you armed with a flash stick and a book
No, a flashlight on the end of a stick in a book.
Well, did we hang up?
Yes.
No, I'm still here.
Nope, hang up.
Nope.
The clown is down.
I just hung up on a Jedi Master.
I feel really powerful right now.
How about you guys?
No, no.
No, no, don't.
Smart move.
All right.
We need to have a ship meeting.
Ship meeting?
Do we include that pilot?
Yes, of course we include the pilot.
He's the one pilot in this.
Shut up, Frisket!
Frisket, calm down.
Don't yell at her.
She's just scared.
See?
No, he's scared.
You are the animal trainer,
so I'll believe you.
But I am not keeping you.
not turning away from that creature you're not turning away from it eyes on it always
and uh as she says that we back into the the hallway leading up to the where you're piloting
uh so good news uh didn't need the internet uh we got to go to duros
duros so i heard a lot of talking you guys used up almost all the minutes uh on the com
and why duros that's that's not the skyhold base what's going on
we need to go duros the people we need to talk to who will help us find the other people we need to
talk to are on duros it sounds complicated but it really if you take it one step at a time
it's not that duros then the next step that's the plan so far plan number one step one duros
Plan number two, profit.
Kaz, Clyde, can you come in here real quickly, please?
Yes.
How's it going, Kale?
I go back to make sure to flush the toilet.
Thank you.
That will surely get you some good karma.
Well, now that everything's calmed down, I think...
Karma.
Did you wash your hands?
Not.
Negative one.
I walk up to the
Ship meeting
I walk up to the cockpit
And park it on a seat
How's it going?
And I stand in the doorway
Pretending to dry off my hands
Alright guys
So just want to make sure
We're all clear on the plan
We are going to Duro
trying to find someone
and then after that directly to
the skyhold
we gotta talk
we get to talk to a senator
yeah we have to go to this diplomatic
conference speak to somebody
you gotta find gliss notes
yeah not an issue
we've already met this woman she's lovely
I mean she only kidnapped the three
of us you know to help her
for her plight so I'm sure there's no concerns there
and yeah
we'll talk to her
then we'll get like really good directions
I'm sure
and we'll go from there
I mean in this way
were you not sacked?
oh that's what you're calling it on
yes
you know yeah
we were sacked
but it's going to be great
we'll just
we'll talk to her
We'll get a plan.
We don't know what Skyhold Base is.
We're going to find it, but we need to talk to this lady first because apparently she knows.
Yeah.
Also, fun fact, Kale, we can't tell our higher-ups we hired you on.
Apparently, they don't like that.
Apparently, Master Plo Koon, you know, he's the guy with the yellow lightsaber.
Oh, yeah.
Gangly.
Yeah.
Gangly.
Really smug.
Yeah.
Really, really smug.
Really, like, you know, walks up on you.
Hey, he's cool.
He's cool, but he's smug.
He's got a little bit of much.
I like Master Pluck.
Well, you know.
He's really nice to me every time he comes to see his mount for the next mission.
Well, he doesn't want Kale involved, and you involved your boss.
So if you tell Master Pluckoon you involved your boss, you're going to make him lose his job.
Do you want your boss Kale to lose his job?
Or Master Pluckoon?
What?
Probably.
Will I lose my job?
Yeah, probably.
Oh, well, no, I don't want that.
Well, we can't tell.
So, Kale, we'll split the money with you when we get it.
But, yeah, when we answer phone calls, you just kind of play it cool.
So I'm kind of like your dirty little secret.
Yes.
It doesn't have to be dirty.
That's a great way of putting that.
If you want to be, that's your code name from now on.
You know, Jen, this agreement has just kind of given me, you know, back to where we, when this first started, same, a lot of hesitation with all of this.
So let me understand this correctly.
So this lady hired you, gave you information, and now you're going back to that lady on a different planet.
Hired is a really rough word.
She sacked.
The sacking, yes.
The great sacking, yes.
The great sacking of the
The great sacking of last week
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, we're not really cool about this either
But man, we're just kind of going along with it
Because, you know
What do we got to lose?
They're going to pay us a lot of money
And, you know
A shitload of money
And there's a lot of cool things at the Blood Meridian
That we got to check out
You know, I agree to this
Mostly because of Taz
You know
one hint to explore a little bit.
So, Taz, are you down with all of this?
I don't really think I have a choice.
So, yes.
All right.
Okay, on to Duros we go.
Yeah, that was a lot easier than I saw.
Great, let's go.
All right.
Let me...
Do we know where Duros is?
I...
My assumption was that
Kale would know where Duros is.
Oh, it's actually Duro.
I thought it was Duros.
That's okay.
Come on the wrong way.
There was multiple.
Now there's just one.
I have no token.
Now there's just one.
Oh, you guys can't see it.
Okay.
I just assumed we were in the vastness of space.
Well, you are.
Also.
Also, yes.
is out here in the outer rim.
Let's go ahead and reveal that.
Why don't I tell you where the blood bird is at?
So, Duro, that's right next to Corellia, right?
guys? If I'm remembering
that correctly? I think it is Corellia.
It's Corellia Duro.
But they call it Duro for sure.
Okay. Alright.
Do I
need to do any sort of
roll for... Is that true?
I don't think it's
true. It does look like it's
the same place. I didn't know that.
Are they the same
place? I think they are.
Because I've heard of Corellia.
I've heard of the species
Duros, which I assume was from Duro.
It also means
hard in Spanish.
Duro!
Oh, I thought it was Corellia.
Alright, maybe it's...
I guess they're in the same system.
Oh, the system.
I forgot.
The Corellia-Duro system.
The Wikipedia page just has a
screenshot of this map.
So that's not...
It doesn't clear anything else.
Oh, do you know Cad Bane is from Duro?
Because he's a Durose.
It's crazy.
And a cat?
No, and a cat.
Oh.
Alright, now I already forgot.
Oh yeah, if you want to do an astrogation check.
It's a high quality map.
You can really zoom in.
How do I do that when I'm at this big map?
Oh, because you're not in here.
So let me take us back to the work map.
Does it really say pizza on the side?
Why?
Oh, this is a character.
yes
uh
masturbation
there we go
oh check fail
uh great
but two
two advantages
that'll help the story right along
yes
um
let's see
well
yeah
it's taking you longer than you expected to get to duro mostly uh because you don't know exactly
where it is you lied uh you know what guys um yeah i'll admit i always get corelia and duro mixed up
which one is it this one i swear it was just that direction i was going really southwest for a long
time. I might have been supposed to go a little bit more southeast. Hmm. I think we're supposed
to go to Durham. I am not from the side of the galaxy. So the one that you were going
towards? Not that one. Which one is that? Because I, again, they look similar and they're
right next to each other. I don't know. They're like twins. You guys did make it to the system
and you do see the two planets he's referring to.
He's got it pulled up on the astrogation chart computer.
You guys can't decide which one to go to.
Who wants to go to the one on the left?
There's no left in space.
If you're looking at it,
you can see which one's left.
God.
You should be the lawyer.
Okay, so you guys are going to the one on the left.
I like the one.
As says left, I mean, you know, guys, worse comes to worse, make a little pit stop.
I'm sure that, yeah.
Roll for left.
Should we also roll for destiny points?
Yeah, let's do it after I roll.
Alright.
I did not mean to post this as kale.
There we go.
Yeah, you guys come up.
You get close to the planet
and you start to notice all of the traffic in orbit around Duro,
and you see that there is a, you know, welcome to the diplomatic conference.
It seems to be on a floating space station above the planet.
Oh, you must be in the right place, guys.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
Good call on going left, everyone.
Yeah, we got lucky there.
But one problem.
Did anyone get clearance from anyone to land at any of these ports?
Did you guys call your buddies at all?
Can you call your buddies?
We need clearance?
Yes.
You can't just park anywhere, Taz.
Space.
This is the first time I've been off the planet since I was a young lady.
A little bit different out here.
Sorry.
It's okay
Jeez
But uh
Either we're going to have to
Pop up some money
We'll just name drop
Senator Panuk
Am I saying that correctly?
Panuk
Okay
I mean
We don't have
Clearance
Clyde do you think you could get
Believe it or not, Flo Coon, is it at all?
Just leave a message at the beep.
I must be out or I pick up the phone.
Where could I be?
Believe it or not, Flo Coon's not here.
Hey, Flo Coon.
We're about to park.
Need some parking validation if we've got some time.
You can just text it to me when you have a moment.
Kind of important.
We're trying to land right now, so hopefully you get this message really fast.
Call me back.
Bye.
Hey, do you think we can tell we're delivering a pizza?
Yeah, let's do that.
I like this plan.
We're delivering food.
And then when they come up to us to get their pizza, we'll throw a WAPA at them.
Hello?
This is actually coming from the ship.
Oh.
Yes, we can't bring him on.
What is it?
Briskets do not have souls.
He's talking about the lunch that we just had.
He's, you know, to him, it's his best buddy.
So, no, but we're good.
What do you need?
Do you have clearance to enter the space?
This is a diplomatic convention, and there are very, very tight security.
Can I leave?
Yeah, I quietly lean over.
I say, guys, what are we going with?
Pizza?
Pizza.
Or do you think you can name drop this person?
Tell them that Senator...
It's pizza from Platoon.
Yeah, tell them it's for Senator Hunnuck.
We got pizza from Platoon.
Platoon.
So, yeah, we got some pizza here from Platoon for...
Sorry, what was it?
Senator Hunnuck.
Senator Hanuk.
You guys are delivering a pizza from Plo Koon?
Like, from Coruscant?
Yes, that's correct.
No, no, he ordered it for her.
Oh, okay.
Roll a deception.
I don't remember who...
We're all just shouting.
You guys are all yelling.
And then it'll just be average.
See if I, you trick this poor man.
Fail.
But you do have an advantage.
Do you have an idea of how you'd like to spend your advantage?
They really want that meat, sir.
Yeah.
You know, so here's the thing.
We actually, there was a pizza that got messed up.
We can bring it to you.
call it evens and uh you know we can get on our way here just a quick stop now listen we could use
a pizza here at air traffic control i'm not buying your story about this this senator um but if you
do in fact have a pizza um yeah we'll we'll take it we'll give you uh the space out back um to bring
us a pizza up here we've been working non-stop for this stupid convention yeah uh sounds sounds
like you guys really could use one.
Which port should I be pulling into?
You know, right behind the air traffic tower.
All right.
I'll see it.
Yep, big tower.
All right, we're heading over there.
Thank you.
This entire journey has been food motivated so far.
We don't have any pizza, guys.
I'm sure they'll accept some paninis and some dog treats
or whatever you got in your pocket.
Yeah.
So, Clyde, any way you can maybe roll that panini out,
maybe flatten it a little bit,
so we can call it a Coruscant special.
100%, 100%, we'll roll for panini pizza.
A bacon chicken ranch pizza.
Roll for panini pizza.
I didn't do that.
Someone give me a hammer.
What would that be? Mechanics?
Who's good at rolling?
It might be coordination.
I mean, I do have some coordination. I'm at one point. Anyone got any better?
What do you want me to roll, Tiger? I'll do whatever you want.
I got three ability and coordination.
Oh my god, are you actually going to...
Is Squish going to come back from the dead to make us a pizza?
Is Squish going to come back to Squish?
Wait, Squish isn't dead?
Squish is dead?
I mean...
Yeah, he died.
In that last episode, remember when you laid down to go to sleep?
Sometimes you don't wake up.
Alright, alright, alright.
What do we need to do?
Is this Skullduggery?
Skullduggery, you're making a pizza!
I'm flattening a pizza.
you need to know what I'm doing here.
I think
it could be...
Cool? No, it's not cool.
I don't think it's coordination
because...
I just don't know what coordination is.
Oh my goodness.
What the fuck
did we roll to flatten a pizza here?
Alright, fine.
Coordination or mechanics.
I'm going to coordinate.
Oh, my gosh.
All right, but you do have two advantages.
The advantage is that I didn't ruin the paninis, so they might still take it.
And there's two paninis left.
Okay, so it's not a convincing, let's say it's not a convincing pizza.
It's just a flatter panini.
Yeah, there's two flat paninis.
A flatter, rounder panini.
Yeah, you know, they're my new, we'll just say it's my new recipe, flat paninis.
You know, trying to make it big.
That's why they're getting it for free.
All right.
You guys land the truck, the van, out back behind the tower,
and you see a couple of figures run out from the, what would you call it,
the access door towards, you know, kind of looking around like this is sort of a secret thing.
And then they come up to the door and say, so, pizza?
I come to the door, and I'm like, here you go.
This is foil.
You need to warm it up first, so why don't you take it and put it in your space microwave?
You're going to want to take the foil off of it before you eat it up?
No, no, let them out.
It's just, I just freshly made them.
They're pretty warm.
Keep them in the foil for a little bit.
Maybe take them back and we'll warm them up in a second, okay?
Okay.
All right.
Goodbye.
He takes it from you and walks.
How long are you going to be here?
60 minutes.
Okay.
Yeah, just stay here.
If you're here longer than that, you're going to get towed.
Okay.
But thanks for this.
It feels kind of light and small for a pizza.
It's a personal pan.
I think, well, he starts to pry open the foil.
No, it's too hot.
It's too hot.
I just made it.
Don't do that.
You're going to burn yourself.
It doesn't feel very hot.
It's very hot.
It's really, I double foiled it.
Can I use my force powers on this guy or are you going to believe us?
No, you can use your force powers on him.
All right.
I have influence.
which is attempt to guide shape and twist the thoughts and feelings another i want to make this
guy super hungry okay excellent great use of force powers yeah we've done great so far
we've blocked a ally's attack and made someone hungry we're doing great
i just wanted to move things from my mind at least i'm not making you hungry okay
You're next!
First GOP.
Wait, what is GOP?
That's what a thumb pick is.
Oh.
Alright, I sent out
rolling four dusty points.
We forgot to do that.
Oh, hold on.
My internet browser just crashed.
That gives us a good opportunity to explain to Matt
what destiny points are. I don't know that we ever did.
I think we briefly talked about it last.
Oh, okay. Good.
Alright, so how many do we have?
Oh, we're three and two. Great.
Oh, sorry. Should I roll or no?
Yeah, you should have gotten a message in your chat.
No!
Three and three. That's great.
Do I have to flip one?
No. You roll your own force die.
Okay.
Ah, what do I do?
Hit your...
Is it under utility? No.
Under skill.
Also, no.
You might be able to hit the dice next to the chat.
Yeah, there's one out there.
Like right where you type in the chat.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, okay.
I see that.
So it's got everything set at zero, so.
Add one force die.
So the one at the bottom, the white one at the bottom.
Okay.
That's a left click.
And then roll.
Roll.
Oh, wow.
Excellent.
Uh, yes, you may spend, let's see, the character may attempt to guide shape and even twist the thoughts and feelings of others.
Okay.
So I don't want to.
Is hunger negative?
I'm not sure, because I just want him to be, like, incredible.
Like, as he's walking away, just have one of those, like, oh, God, I haven't eaten in, like, hours, you know, like, that, like, I'm suddenly now incredible.
Uh, so as he takes the paninis and starts walking away, I'm assuming he's gonna kind
of be like, like you said, like, hey, do you see him like, like, what the heck?
Uh, Uli's gonna kind of, like, lean out of the doorway and do some fun haggling.
And, uh, oh yeah.
And all of a sudden you see the guy, like, stop.
He's like, oh, oh my god.
Oh man.
Like, checking his watch.
He's like, oh god, my lunch was like three hours ago.
You know?
Uh, cause I want him distracted and out of the way so we can, uh, sneak out.
Then he just immediately starts eating the, uh, paninis.
No, he, he's not a monster.
He's gonna go to this break room.
He's really, really hungry.
That, okay, maybe he starts unwrapping it and eating it as he's going.
And then he burns his mouth cause the paninis are so hot.
Ha ha!
Dark side point.
Ha ha.
Uh, yeah, yeah, you made this guy really hungry.
Uh, and they rush back into the tower.
to log out on their paninis.
All right.
Well, let's do a break,
and you can eat your own paninis if you'd like.
Fresh.
All right.
So you guys have just made those young fellas hungry
and mostly gotten them out of your hair for now,
and they, for some reason, gave you a landing spot.
So now you are on the diplomatic convention platform.
okay uh we go in we find hannah talk to her get back on the ship and get out of here we got 60
minutes if i know anything about the parking authority they're very strict why do i have
written down uh she is the uh representative from glistnos oh she's from glistnos okay
I thought her name was
No her name is
Janie
Like Jenny but with an A
Janie
Like Janie
Okay Janie
That's Senator Janie
The most beautiful name I could think of
Are we all going in?
Yeah, we're all going in.
We're strutting in.
All the strut.
Everyone strut.
Do I have a robe?
Strut was back.
Do you have a robe?
That's a good question.
No, you're wearing a jumpsuit.
It is...
That is like the complete opposite of a robe.
Yes.
It's very form-fitting.
Opposite of a robe.
It really is.
It's like almost wearing...
You're wearing a leotard.
I don't like this
yeah it's your work leotard
okay
you're just walking right into
the front door of the
convention
yeah like we own the place
I was gonna see if there's like
some sort of like conference like
you know when you go to those and they've got
the agenda somewhere usually
out or something uh yeah yeah okay so it's in it's in a hotel a space hotel of sorts and um
so i guess clyde and uh taz have strutted into the main conference area uh there's a lot of
different like booths and uh people walking around they're all dressed very nice like politicians
uh they're strutting um one is wearing robes and the other one is wearing a leotard uh it's important
to note that nobody else is dressed like this
because they are dressed like politicians, which is
a formal dress.
But while they're doing
that,
Uli, you look at the simple
agenda and you see the different meeting rooms.
Maybe roll
perception? Sure.
Roll for luck.
For dumb luck.
Is that perception?
Or do I have a dumb luck?
No, there's no dumb luck.
That'd be nice if there was.
you guys would use it all the time
yeah
check failed but you do have an advantage
have we passed with one
no I think you guys have lost
I think you guys have failed every single one
today it's been a rough night
it's not been good
so I'm just saying
so maybe I don't recognize
her name anywhere but
also that means like maybe I realize
that means she's not like giving
an active conference at the moment.
You know, she's not talking anywhere.
She's not like on stage or in a room or anything like that.
I don't know where she is, but like maybe she's alone.
Should we ask somebody?
Is there like a, you know, customer service desk anywhere nearby?
Well, you guys search for that.
I'm going to go grab as much swag as I can from this conference.
That's a good idea.
Yeah, I mean, there's just...
You're going to loot the conference?
There's just so much grab swag.
It's not looting.
They gave it away.
Stuff we all get.
That's what it's, that's what it, stuff we all get.
And then he'll be swagging.
Okay.
That's clever.
What do you find at the, at these different swag booths?
A lot of pens.
Well, it looks, yeah, there's, there's some pens, but most importantly, there's some of
these little enamel pins that we can maybe look a little bit more stately to maybe get
us into some of these conferences.
What do you guys think?
Oh, you're a pin guy?
The pins.
Love the pins.
Oh, pins.
Yeah, you know, I got a couple pins.
You know.
Okay.
What was that?
I mean, we all got to come up with our own little, I got paninis, he got pins.
Maybe we can make a pin that looks like a panini.
A panini?
A panini.
A pinzini.
It's actually just a panini filled with pins.
It's really dangerous to eat.
Tackling the important questions.
Yeah, I'll grab a pin and kind of stick it on.
All right, let's see.
Lore.
Pinzini.
alright somebody should roll
I guess you guys aren't in the outer rim
yet right
no I think we're still in the inner rim
no
oh there is no
core worlds
alright somebody roll
a lore knowledge
of core worlds I don't know who has
the best one none of you probably
have one any
particular
no I got one
Yep.
Please.
Boy.
Okay.
Do we lose?
Yeah, you lose.
You guys got arrested.
You go to Wampa Jail, because that's the only jail left.
Risk can help us.
That was right.
Yeah, it's certainly looking like that.
All right, so, yeah, you don't see any particular pins.
You do find pins, but they might as well be any planet.
You don't really understand the differences between the different pins.
But you do find, let's see, one, two, three, four.
Four different pins.
All right, guys.
I'm going to put one on.
Yeah.
Do we divide and conquer?
Everyone take a pin?
Everybody take a pen.
I'm penning it.
Put a pen in that, Dean.
Okay.
Let me...
Oh, wait.
No, that was supposed to be private.
Good, because I don't know what that form means.
It could mean anything.
okay uh all right so you guys each take a different pin and you guys are walking the
conference floor i put the pin in my lapel yeah yeah i mean i just remember but um yeah
i i mean we've seen senator hung up before can i try to like you know look and see if i see
anyone that looks similar to her?
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah, roll of perception.
If you remember what she looks like.
If you can tell me what she looks like.
She's a lady of outstanding grace and strength.
And I think she had red hair.
Not even close, Hank.
I mean, you can still roll of perception.
Are we still supposed to be in the ship?
No, I just don't have anything for the...
No, it's regular.
I didn't really expect you guys to go in here.
the space hilton i didn't expect you guys to make it this far
i mean oh there's different people in here
i mean i think the strength the elegance i was wrong with the red hair i'll admit maybe i'm
colorblind.
I also made her leave.
All right.
I remember what she looks like.
What did she look like?
Oh, so you did...
So you did...
You do, uh...
You do see her.
She does have two bodyguards with her.
What species are the bodyguards?
Human, buff.
Human, common, buff.
Are we all split up or are we together?
I think you guys divided and conquered.
Divided.
Okay.
I'm going to try and like catch her eye in a really like, you know,
maybe like walk past whatever booth she's at and kind of like walk past
and just like try to see if she and I can make some sort of eye contact.
She does.
Let's see.
What would that be?
If you wanted to roll something like that, that could be.
be like cool maybe no because cool is like staying cool under pressure oh yeah um
it would be like the opposite of stealth strange that they didn't uh all right well i'll just say
that she does see you she sees you sort of like making weird motions and waggling my eyebrows
yes from across the
hall
and
her eyes sort of bug out that she sees you
and she's trying to pretend
like she doesn't see you
but
she's not very good at it
she's kind of obvious
and you see her
stop and talk
to her bodyguards
then you know
sneak away from them and come towards you.
Yeah, so I'm going to go to another booth.
Because when you say conference,
are these different tables and things set up
for different knickknacks and things for you to look at?
Yes.
Okay, I'm going to pretend to be really interested
in one of the knickknacks on this table.
Like, oh, I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, I really...
What are you doing here?
Well, Master Placoon sent us.
he sent for what?
Are you stalking me?
No, I'm not stalking you.
I don't.
Listen, we had a hell of a time getting here.
Do you know this planet and Corellia are like identical?
Yes, yes.
I know a lot about the core world.
Ah, I imagine you do.
You are a senator.
Listen, no, Master Cocoon,
he told us you would be able to get a little bit of information on the sky all day,
you know, where it might be,
Or you might give us Director Izzard's number.
Maybe he knows where this could be.
Because you just really give us a lot of information.
And as I'm saying this, I'm still just like, hmm.
Very secret agent-like.
Yes, very secret agent-like.
This, God, I don't know why.
I am so glad that we didn't actually hire Jedi.
No.
Kaz would like to walk onto the other side of her,
but looking at the same table.
Yes, you're drawing attention to yourselves.
I cannot be seen with you.
Okay, well, do you have like a room or something?
This is a hotel.
Do we have some place we can go talk?
All right.
Okay, yes.
See this room over here?
Let's go, let's stand out over here,
but I can't be too long.
Otherwise, my bodyguards are going to get alarmed.
Okay.
I mean, aren't you the boss bitch?
They're your bodyguard.
Listen, it's a whole security thing.
Sure, sure.
Yes, I am a bitch.
Boss bitch.
Even bitches have protocol.
Absolutely right.
I'm trying to be empowering here, bud.
All right.
And then you guys shuffle off into a side room.
All right.
So, listen, bad news, good news.
Bad news, I don't know where Skyhold Base is.
It's a military thing.
But I do have, I am glad I ran into you.
I do have some intelligence for you.
We can use it.
I'm listening.
Yes, I've been working this diplomatic conference,
and I got some information on Tiber Solvar's hideout.
Cool.
Perfect.
Now, who is Tybur so far?
It's the guy we're going to go do something with.
Gotcha.
Yes, he is the man that needs to be otherwise neutralized,
is the euphemism we're using now.
Yeah, yeah.
No, get it.
I get it.
Neutralized.
Okay, okay.
And, yes, as Plo Koon would put it,
to do as your conscience tells you.
But whatever, we need him out of the picture.
Sure.
I don't...
Intelligence.
Yes.
This is a great opportunity for me, and us, and the Republic, I guess.
So, Tiber Solvar is holed up on Hoth.
Oh, okay, so we just gotta go to Hoth.
No, wait, you mean Ice Planet Hoth?
Yes.
Well, that's cold.
So, one with Tauntauns?
Tauntauns, yes, and I've heard they have wampas there, too.
Cool.
we have a wampa
you have a
why do you have a wampa
it's a long story
it's name is brisket and apparently
it lives in our ship now
brisket is on the ship
we didn't even attempt it we just we took off
and the wampa was there it's incredible
that a pygmy wampa a pompa
if you will was managed to hide up
in a ship for so long but here we are
with a pompa
this is too many details for me
Yes.
So do you have that general dude's number?
So, no.
Izzard?
Yes, I can give you Izzard.
Izzard is here.
He's going to give a speech here.
Well, can you tell him to come in this room instead?
No, you'll have to find him.
But it should be easy to find.
Did you check the agenda?
Turns out I might not be able to read.
Okay.
I did not.
Okay, check it again.
We'll check the agenda and we'll go try to find Director Izzard and get some more information.
I know it was probably a big risk for you coming to see us, but I do appreciate it.
Just so you know.
Wow, that's very courteous of you.
Yeah, I'm not a dick.
Just watch out for that Gorbeck guy.
Yeah, Gorbeck do good?
Well, let's just say I do like working with him.
He's got no political ambitions, and he doesn't really care about the sort of power that I'm looking for.
But as far as I can tell, the only thing he loves is war, like the kind that never really ends.
So, yeah, he's easy for me to work with, but he's also a little dangerous.
So, you know, just be on the lookout.
And Tiber Solvar, he's on haunt.
All right.
I'll remember that.
Between the two of us, we'll remember that.
Hey, one final question.
Do you know what these pins mean?
and Uli kind of shows her the different pins
and points to Taz's too.
Oh, they're just different political parties in the Senate.
Oh.
Yeah, that one is a far right one
and Taz, you have one from the far left.
It's on my left shoulder, yeah.
That helps.
That makes sense.
I get it.
Taz, don't make me...
What?
Don't tell anyone about brisket.
What is a brisket?
It's the wampa.
No, it's a delicious...
It's a delicious roast.
Don't tell anyone about the brisket.
I'm going to take Taz's hand and head back onto the conference floor
and try to find Kale and Clyde.
Okay.
You find Kale and Clyde.
They are also looking at knickknacks on the tables.
Hey.
Look, great news. We found out some information.
Tyber's over.
My pin is on the left side.
Yeah, you gotta watch out with these pins.
Wait, wait, wait, hold on. Look at this knickknack I found.
Look at the swag. Woo, baby. Three pods.
This is a bird.
So.
Yes, that is a bird.
Kale has a communicator now.
Previously, he was just yelling.
Look, that's great.
Look, Tyber so far on Hoth, great news for us, I guess.
But also, Director Izzard is here.
That's like all three guys we needed to talk, well, not needed,
but we could talk to in one setting.
Yeah, we got to check the agenda.
Yes, the agenda.
That's where we'll find out where Izzard is.
so do you
any of you know what that person looks like
I'm not really good with faces
or colors
turns out
I know but I mean his name is
Director Izzard and he's given a speech
so he's got to be on the agenda
somewhere
why do we got to talk to this person again
why
don't we can't just put a hawth
I mean, we've come this far.
It seems kind of rude if we don't say hi.
All right.
Take your time.
Okay.
We could just go to Hoth.
Well, I'm saying, Taz, Hoth, just go, baby.
At that moment, you guys look at a map,
And you notice Hoth is on the other side of the dead meridian.
Yes.
Clyde had a map in his robes.
Right next.
It's covered in pain-y stains.
But you do see that the dead meridian is smack dab in between where you are,
at Corellia Duro, and Hoth, which is...
At Hoth.
Well, Hoth is a moon.
Yes. No, that's Gavin.
No.
The fourth net of Endor.
Oh, okay.
But I think Hoth is the ice moon, too.
But whatever, it doesn't matter.
So we still need to go through the dead Meridian to get to Hoth.
Yeah, so we have to talk to Izzard to get to the show fort to get to Hoth.
I mean, I know, Cale, you were a little suspicious of this plan, but we have added some very concrete stuff to it.
Yeah, this is just, we're going in a lot of places now, right?
I feel like we're diverging in a lot of paths, and I thought this was going to be rather clean cut, go to the place, permanent nap.
Is this in character or out of character?
Yeah.
I didn't expect Paninis and, you know, diplomatic convention centers.
I mean, I'll buy my time with all these widgets that we got, but, you know, it just seems like we're a little bit, you know, maybe not the tightest ship, right?
Not yet.
It's the tightest of ships, but the loosest of lips.
Let's go.
All right.
I'll listen to you, too.
Kaz, this is what you want, right?
Want, no, have to do, yes.
Look, I don't know.
You want me to be honest?
I'll be honest.
I don't know much about this Tiber Silver guy.
he sounds like he might be a maniac
but you know
we've been called to do something
better than what we have been doing
or at least what I've been doing
and this is something and I swear
to my god if you
don't get me on the hoth
I'm gonna scream
oh she's gonna scream
alright
you got me
she's gonna scream
actually I'm glad she didn't say she's gonna kill you
aww
I wouldn't kill you.
They can probably listen to her scream for a little bit.
Wow, that's weird.
Who wants to read the agenda?
Anybody?
Clyde, you're really good at reading.
Why don't you read the agenda?
Because I've bungled most of my rolls.
Listen, I got a character.
You're the only one that had a successful one.
Yeah, but I rolled like three times.
That was the first one I got.
Alright, so what's our agenda?
We gotta look at the agenda.
Alright, I'm looking at the agenda.
No, no, no.
Agenda.
Say it right.
The agenda.
I'm looking at it.
Alright.
Percepting it.
Yeah, unless there's a different check that you can justify.
Nope.
I failed.
I can't make heads or tails.
It must be written in cursive.
But you do have two advantages.
Well, I kind of can make out a little bit of this, I guess.
Okay, somehow Taz can read it, but there's two threats.
Taz can read cursive, apparently, for God's sakes.
You've been reading blank too long.
Yeah, Iverno's over there this time in like 20 minutes.
Yeah, it's very soon that he's going to be giving a speech, which is the two threats here.
But you do see the room that he's going to, and by extension, you know the podium he's going to be on.
Okay.
Let's go to that room.
Yeah, Sid, make it real awkward for him.
He doesn't know who we are, though.
He kidnapped us.
He was part of the stacking.
Oh, he does?
Yeah.
Let's like really freak him out and mead mug him.
I didn't get to see anybody that tagged me.
This is like the weirdest setup ever.
Like, imagine me, you know, you're kidnapping some guys to do a mission for you,
and then like a week later they show up and they're just staring at you in the front row.
I think it's just been a few days.
I don't even know if it's been a week.
It's unclear.
It's unclear, yeah.
Okay.
Space time, right?
Uli is going to go into the room where he's given his speech and sit literally like dead center front row.
I'm tagging behind.
I'm all hooded up, and I'm just like, you know.
Okay. I got my red book with me.
So you guys are sitting in the front row.
Mean mugging. Oh, we are mean mugging.
We're not going to sit all together.
No, I think absolutely we should. I think that's more intimidating.
Really? No. Actually, I get where he's coming from.
He should look around the hall and see us everywhere.
Anywhere he turns, there's going to be one of us.
All right, cool. All right, I'm going to sit in the front then, right in the second.
Except he doesn't know what Kale looks like. He doesn't know that Kale's involved.
Yeah, but when he sees a mean mug and he'll know.
He'll know.
I forget what we're doing again.
We got to get the general scumber.
We got to get the information off of this guy.
We're trying to get information off of him.
He's going to come here any minute and give a speech.
He's going to see us.
My hope is that he's like, ah, shit, and pull one of us aside and be like,
we got to get out of here.
We'll talk to him, get back on the boat, and get out of here.
Can I leave a note on the podium asking for General Invernos?
Whose number are we looking for?
Gorvac.
Gorvac's number?
You see that there's security on the stage,
so it would not be simple to put something up on there.
But he does poke his head out,
And his eye is caught by Kale, who's just straight up mean-mugging him.
And he recognizes him and is surprised.
And then he continues to survey the crowd.
And he sees Kale's bitchin' hat and sort of nods.
And he gets a hat tip and then looks at Taz, who looks really, really menacing when he's...
Mean Mugging?
Yeah, Mean Mugging.
He's got those piercing red eyes and blue skin.
And that also surprises him, although...
But that's just the face that Taz makes when he's trying not to fart.
Yes.
And when he's trying really hard to read the agenda, although successfully.
Somehow.
There have been two successful roles.
And one was Taz reading the agenda.
One was Taz reading cursive.
Which he got threatened by somehow.
All right.
And then he sees, he says, he sees Uli, who's also mean mugging him.
And he's starting to get concerned at this point.
And he scurries, he points to some guards who come by and pick you guys up out of your seats.
Hey, all of us?
Stop that.
Well, not, not Kale.
because he doesn't know Kale other than his bitch and dad.
He didn't see me.
He thought you were the first one.
He thought Clyde.
You were the first one he saw because you were me hugging him.
I think you did say Kale for the first one.
Okay.
I meant to say Clyde.
It was Clyde, then Kale, then the others.
The others, okay.
I misspoke.
And he brings, yeah, too many.
Yeah, you guys got a lot of Ks.
and won you
because technically Taz starts with a K.
Taz, yeah.
Yeah.
And he brings you guys backstage.
Yeah.
What are you doing here?
Ah, that's so fun to be sacked yourself, huh?
We need Gorbeck's number.
We're sacking.
This isn't really...
I mean...
We need Gorbeck's number.
Give me Gorbeck's number.
I'll give you the coordinates to Skyhold Base.
Yes, that. Do that.
To the edge of the...
Yes, the Dead Meridian. We got it.
Coordinates.
James Bond film where they're like,
give me Bollfeld's number right now.
I mean, I gotta say, I'm a little surprised you guys are...
You made it this far without dying.
Do you want us out of here?
Yes, I want...
Coordinates.
We need...
We need Solvar off the map.
Or next.
Okay, why are you barking orders at me?
I am a director.
I got to be honest.
Do you want me to hang around longer?
I can hang out here.
Okay.
And take my feet up.
Don't let him get his feet.
If he kicks his feet up, he's not going.
If I kick my feet up, I take off my shoes.
You're done for.
If he takes off his shoes, we're going.
He nods at one of his security guards who, they sucker punch you.
Hey, back off.
I have a lightsaber.
You have a lightsaber?
I do.
You have a lightsaber?
Yeah, I have a lightsaber.
I totally have.
You've had a lightsaber this entire time?
And you tried to beat the Wampa with a flashlight?
I have a lightsaber.
I'm like, I'm just like, I got it in my like robe.
Like, like, it's kind of like a gun.
Back off.
I got one.
I'm ready.
All right.
Okay.
Let's, let's not kill anyone or yourself.
Yes.
I'm going to give you, you, you can have the coordinates.
You can meet up with Gorvac.
And then you can get to wherever the hell Tyber Solvar is.
No, I want his phone number.
I'm going to call him right now.
Thank you.
No, no, no.
Look, look, we're all on the same side here.
We're all on the same side.
We're going to take the coordinates.
We'll get out of your hair.
Also, you might already know where Tyber Solvar is.
So don't need to worry about that, man.
Wow, you guys are making progress.
Taz, I want you to, I want Taz to sucker punch that guy.
No, no, no, Taz.
You're a little uppity.
Taz
I just wanted
to get back to brisket
make sure she's okay
what is a brisket
that's the wampa
you have a wampa
no he's confused
the wampa's a part of the crew now
it's a part
we're putting it in part of the pot
why is everyone so shocked that I got a wampa
I don't get it
it's more of the fact that you have somehow
has captured a Wampa.
They're not really known for being like
tame pets. And the one we have
not tame.
The one we have just called a fucking vet.
Yeah, give me time.
I will tame brisket.
Sure, sure. But you're not
going to do that if you keep going around sucker-punching
people.
I didn't sucker-punch anyone.
Okay.
All right.
I've heard enough here.
He starts
writing down
he nods at uh the security card again he sucker punches you again i punched back that time
okay no no no no no no no we're well we're gonna get out of here sorry sorry hold on
That was Sarn.
Yes, yes.
You're being Sarn.
I'm trying to play a different character.
You're really letting him come out that time.
I sucker punch him.
And then I put drugs in my eye.
And then I fucking, and then I loot his fucking body.
Sarn was his other, his other character who was a real, real pain in the ass.
Murder hobo.
He once committed cold murder of a shopkeep for no reason at all.
In Sark's defense, they pushed the silent alarm.
One time we were just trying to leave in a space airport,
and he didn't want to show his ID,
so we had to spend a whole extra episode in prison
that Tiger didn't plan at all,
and there was a rapist in there for some goddamn reason.
Why do you always bring up the rapist?
Why did you bring the rapist in their Star Wars prison?
Rapist was jail. Rapists go to jail.
Okay.
I can tell tensions are high.
So he writes the damn coordinates down on a sticky tag, a post-it note, and says, here's your damn coordinates.
You guys ought to be careful with Gorbeck.
Yeah, we heard of that warmonger.
Yes, he's a warmonger, and yeah, he's out for himself.
So try to make yourselves useful to him if he's going to be useful to you.
You just said somebody punched me twice.
Yeah.
You just said that.
Listen, you just came in here.
You started barking.
You came in here barking orders at me.
You brought us in here.
Thank you so much.
Do you want to progress, or do you just want to give me a hard time?
No.
A little bit of column A, a little bit of column B.
Who's talking here?
Is this a character or not?
I can't tell.
A little bit of column A, a little bit of column B.
All right, I'm going to start pushing Clyde and Taz out the door we came in,
and I'm going to take the sticky note and just kind of pop it off of his.
I can already tell who mom and dad are going to be.
Yeah.
Well, somebody has to be a fucking adult in here.
Daddy, kale, and mommy, oldie.
Be like, we appreciate it.
Sorry.
I hope your speech is good.
You know.
Thanks.
Good job.
Hey, by the way.
Good luck on future sackings.
All right.
Guys, our 60 minutes are almost up.
We got to get out of here.
That is true.
I'm glad that we set that time bomb.
Can I heal myself from the two punches?
No, heal yourself in the car.
We got healing yourself at all.
We got Stimpaks in the car.
Let's go.
I convinced those guys are hungry, but those paninis look big.
Let's go.
All right, guys.
We can walk and talk.
Let's talk about next strategy as we start heading towards the pizza delivery truck fan.
okay all right well you got the coordinates we just got to go there yeah yeah yeah we got
pretty good coordinates um you can you can do space stuff right right kale i can do space stuff
i just want to make sure we're aligned on a a plan so dead meridian first then hoth
hoth goes then double back to the dead meridian what do you guys want to do i think we gotta go
We gotta go to Dead Meridian first
Yeah definitely Dead Meridian
There's nothing on Hoth I need to find
Except for the answers in that blank book
No there's nothing in the blank book
The blank book is nothing now
I have other plans though
I just felt like reminding you
Believe me I'm gonna fill a book
Lying about that book
What?
Do you think Lacoon was maybe lying about the book?
Do you think he wrote like
In like
Invisible ink?
I'm just saying it's really weird that we'd find
book from flocoon on this random pizza slash animal transport van because you know what an
invisible ink is yeah it's your no i think it's cement actually can we stay just stay on task
please please the book was from the book was from the library oh it was the sacking bait
Oh, I thought it was found on the ship.
My bad.
No, no.
I thought it was way more important.
No.
I've marked in blue here where,
not that it really matters or any of this matters, I guess,
but the blue arrow is pointing to where Skyhold Base is.
Yeah.
Oh, that's not that far at all.
Let's go.
Yeah, we'll go to the base.
We'll talk to this Gorbeck guy.
Gorbeck.
Gorbachev's going to get us through the Dead Meridian.
We'll get to Hoth.
And then, you know, we'll be good.
We'll have a nice little chat with Commander Solvar.
You know, our plan, just got to say, hasn't gotten any longer, just more details.
And I think the details are good.
I think the details are longer.
We were always going to do the same thing.
We just, now we have spots.
Now we have names.
places to go to.
So do you guys got coordinates
that I can put into the computer here?
Yeah, give him the sticky note.
Uli pulls out the sticky note
and hands it to Kale.
Sticky note, why is this sticky?
Invisible.
It wasn't when we wrote the note down, okay?
We kind of ran out of that hotel.
I mentioned that we just were running
as we're shouting out of the hotel
back to the ship in the back.
We can talk in the van!
We can talk in the van! Let's go!
Our Pizzini's only bought so much time.
Yeah.
All right, so we're running back to the van.
We see the kind of extended past our almost 60 minutes,
and the security guards are kind of coming up on us.
Run faster?
Yeah, we're on time.
They're not going to impound us.
Yeah, no, but they did.
You guys are taking off right at the moment where they turn around and say,
wait a second, this isn't a pizza.
And then they're shaking their fists at you.
And then our ship flies off into the sunset.
All right.
You guys make it off.
Kale does type in the coordinates.
And you start moving towards the sky hole base.
All right.
And let's change this.
Man, I was having fun looking at that map.
I don't really know how to do this.
Does it look like it's moving?
No.
No, we're like, we're like, we're landing.
All right.
Now you guys are moving.
Congrats.
All right.
Um, you guys, you move in.
I'm not going to make you roll for this astrogation.
The coordinates were very, very, very precise.
And there is no way you could have screwed it up.
Uh, and you move into towards, um, sky hole base and you come upon it.
Let's see.
Where is it at?
Uh,
right here.
Okay.
You guys, you see it.
It looks like this.
It's like a platform.
It looks like a military base.
There are tents and everything on there.
There's some communication dishes.
You guys are waved in.
Somehow they already knew you were coming,
and they direct you to land at a helipad, basically.
And when you get down to the bottom,
there's a lot of noise going on.
There's a lot of activity.
You can see off in the distance
that ships are leaving to go into battle and things like that.
And when you land, a person comes up to you as you land to greet you there.
It's a Duros.
Man looks like this.
and you walk up, who comes, does anybody, you guys have landed, who leaves the ship first?
I'll go out first.
Okay.
As I'm walking out of the ship, I take like ice off my cheek and throw it under the ground.
Okay.
Oh, when I said sucker punch, I meant like in the gut.
Oh.
Which I thought would be better than having punched you in the face.
Sorry, I wasn't really clear about that.
Okay, yeah.
Do you have ice on your gut?
No, I farted a lot, though, and they did sucker punch me, though, so I didn't have that look of trying to hold back a fart.
Oh, I see.
So you look like a normal person.
I look like a normal chist, yes.
You walk up to him and try to introduce yourself, saying, I'm Kataz, and you're generally sort of...
Kataz Fortinato, nice to meet you.
and he doesn't shake your hand
and instead you hear this voice.
All right, gentlemen.
I'm Commander Killian Gorvek.
Welcome to Skyhold Base.
Rule number one around here is I'm number one.
You follow the rules, you fall in line,
and we'll get along all right.
Now let's get to work.
The End
Where did you get that clip from?
I had it recorded.
Ooh.
Who recorded it?
Um...
Who recorded it? You didn't recognize it?
No.
Alright, I'm going to play it one more time.
Madam Chief.
I would say the tall drunk guy.
He wasn't drunk.
He stopped drinking.
Now we have to think of something else to describe him.
He's the tall guy who looks like he's drunk.
He's not, but he looks like it.
His eyes are off.
Alright, cool.