Hail the junk fort boys in the night they roam.
Solving woes with fire and sloat.
With a clash and a crash and a twist of fate.
Explosions mark the hours never late.
The Lockport legend,
let's get off this boat.
Less appealing than the sirens call.
The day draws us to a close.
We rejoined our crew after several weeks at sea.
Despite the tensions between the crew and the now deceased Captain Fitzclyde,
the smooth sailing for most of the trip.
Fitzclyde decided it was time to rename the ship.
After much debate,
the name Cuddly Crab was chosen.
No one was happy with the decision.
Squish caught and made a delightful hagfish dinner.
Yes, everything was looking good for the Cuddly Crab crew,
which I now don't like the initials of.
Feet of Glass.
Squish was awakened by singing in the night.
We can just change it to C's.
I realize that now.
At the time, last night when I wrote this, I thought it was really funny.
Oh, this is really good.
They're going to love this.
They're going to really get a laugh out of it.
Feet of glass.
Squish was awakened by singing in the night.
Drawn to the song, he soon discovered three women in the water calling to him.
It turned out to be sirens,
luring the crew to their demise.
Quick thinking by our crew put the song out of tune.
Squish and Chuckles,
having fashioned a harpoon together,
were able to impale and kill several sirens.
However,
the day was made treacherous by broken glass
scattered all over the deck by poor aiming patches.
Luckily,
Neelix...
Oh, yeah.
...off at the last minute.
New city,
same problems.
The cuddly crabs are fast approaching Lockport,
a city they know nothing about but seems oddly familiar.
Are they prepared to take on the challenges of a new city?
Will they try and solve the mystery of Neelix?
Do they even know where to start?
Will they make friends or quickly and literally burn bridges?
Before they can go too far,
they must face the scrutiny of the infamous Lockport Port Authority.
that's redundant
nope
well
meat's back on the menu boys
GM's gone
take off your pants
what's your business
jump scare
meat's off the menu
turns out that wasn't the button to close the newspaper at all
that button turned off my computer it turned off my discord
uh okay so a couple of uh things before we started you all got some xp uh i'm sorry not xp you all
got ability points upgrades last session uh what what did you guys pick for your upgrade venomous
what venomous you picked venom i thought you're just like venomous i would like to be venomous now
okay tell me about this this venom oh when i bite people they they start to itch and then uh slowly
their limbs fall off. No, wait, hold on.
Let me make sure that this is real.
Alright.
Venomous.
Add.
Choose a drug or poison
from your bandolier stock
to which you have become immune.
You can push yourself to secrete it through your skin
or saliva or exhale it as a
vapor.
That's not what I wanted at all.
I thought I would be able to
create poisons.
And bite people.
I mean, I guess I could.
That's going to make me real weird.
I mean, we could play it like that,
that you ingest some sort of potion or vial,
and you then for a short time become venomous.
I'm cool with that.
Well, no, my plan was that I decided that to go along with explosions,
maybe I could create stuff that makes puffs of poison smoke.
okay yeah yeah i think that's fair uh so you can create basically a poison bomb you've somehow over
the course of the poison bomb exactly like six war crimes have been able to create some sort of
poison gas bomb okay all right cool technologies through which to violate the geneva convention
yeah and i'm going to assume that since this is an upgrade because you're probably you'll have to
roll your tinker when you use it but i think you'll probably get a boost plus it's always something
that you have on you,
right?
Does that seem accurate?
Uh,
yeah.
I was just scanning in my head if that was overpowered,
but it's not my problem,
I guess.
Well, you do still have to roll for it.
You have an absurd tinker,
but still.
Okay.
So
you got poison bombs now.
Cool.
What if instead I have knowledge of poison so I can create poison gas bombs from MacGyver almost?
Sure.
Rather than just having poison on me all the time like Batman.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay,
yeah.
So you have enhanced your knowledge of these bombs to the point where you can just kind of look around the room and tinker something together.
Venomous.
That's venomous.
Cool.
Man, I really should read these abilities.
These are awesome.
Yeah.
When you wreck,
the work is much quieter than it should be
and the damage is hidden from casual inspection.
You can tinker with bones, blood, and bodily humors.
Oh,
yeah, you can get a healing from that.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right, cool.
So you got one there.
And then you had two others.
Did you just add that to your points?
Oh, I assumed I had to spend all three on that.
No,
it's one for an ability or two abilities,
like different points you can assign.
Skill points.
So one ability and one skill point?
Or two skill points?
It's three total.
So each item is one.
Oh.
Yeah.
One.
One more.
You can take a look at that.
Your upgrade's figured out.
All right, I got one rack, and then I have one other that I don't think I'm going to spend.
I guess one finesse.
I'm going to take the ability.
You can look like looking into a mirror.
You can always tell when someone's lying to you.
Okay.
Oh, the old Columbo.
So you can't be lied to.
can't no he's from again best oh i almost got him
okay uh and then did you just assign your two other points too uh well what's consort
consort uh consort is kind of like uh more of a manipulation than it is a command so command is
like you have to do this.
Consorts of
like a sway,
like trying to
sway them towards your idea.
Oh,
okay.
Oh, wait, no, we have sway.
Never mind, I take that back.
Let me look this up then.
Is it with your...
It's spelled S-way.
Yeah,
I'm sorry.
We've been pronouncing it wrong. Like a snake.
Sawah.
Hold on, let me look this up.
Let me look at the old
shift a robe and see what we got here oh this is interesting
consort gathering for me no that can't be it 37.
concert friendly setting some kind of emotional
link compassion shared interest etc and generally being nice and polite
that is not within your character
Sway, potentially dangerous situation,
suspicious,
being reasonable and calm.
Command,
menacing,
negotiations for position of force,
maybe even threat of violence,
being pushy.
Shooting people for no reason.
Who have I shot for no reason?
Baz.
Recently.
Probably Tawny.
I don't actually know if you shot the red captain.
No, he did.
I don't think you killed him, though.
Squish or Chuckles, you actually killed him.
I have notes from the last session that says,
burnt the pants on the red captain.
Okay, so Consort is...
I burnt his pants.
Consort's more being friendly and charming,
I guess, in a way,
as opposed to manipulative and swaying people to your belief.
Like manipulating them.
You're just like, you're naturally charming.
All right.
As opposed to being convincing.
Sorry.
I have four sway,
just so everyone knows.
So do I.
Can I find out how much XP I have?
Do you know how you can do that?
So you have no XP at this time because you leveled up at the last session.
Well,
so at the end of season two,
you leveled up all your XP.
These are the three points you are awarded.
You've got more XP coming to you.
Okay.
I just,
I wrote,
I wrote down I had XP from last session.
So,
or the ones from a session back and I just didn't know if I had any left.
Yeah.
So over the course of like the last couple of campaigns,
you guys earned enough for three.
So.
Okay.
I took one in survey and one in finesse.
Okay.
Uh,
patches.
You, G.G.
upgrade.
What's skirmish again?
Skirmish,
uh,
it's...
It's basically fighting,
but not with any sort of finesse.
It's not quite like,
like, wreck either.
So, like, hand-to-hand combat,
like, punching and stuff is skirmish.
Grappling is skirmish.
Um,
wrecking is, like, just destroying things.
Finesse is more like sword play.
Or if you were to be really crafty and, like, grab somebody's arm,
That's more like finesse.
But skirmish is more like a strength attack sort of concept.
Okay.
I'm going to do finesse.
One on finesse.
I'm going to do one on skirmish.
And then I'm going to add an ability.
Okay.
I'm going to add the ability.
Hold on.
I just had it up, but now it's gone.
What was it?
Occultist.
Okay,
what's that?
Cultist is
paper.
You know the secret ways to consort with ancient powers,
forgotten gods, or demons.
Once you've consorted with one, you get 1D
to command cultists who worship it.
Okay.
Oh,
they did say there was a lot of cultists on this island.
That is true.
So you basically get a benefit
from trying to
consort with gods.
Right? To get information
from them. Okay.
Make sense?
Yeah.
Just gods.
Good thing you're going
well,
anyway.
Okay,
cool.
So,
I'm sorry,
and then Tiger,
you had two more points that you
were going to assign.
Yeah, I
did put them in there.
Okay.
It was finesse and
I don't remember what the other one was.
Handjobs.
Just fucking badass.
I'm already good at those.
Oh, right.
You're like, I really just get that wreck in there.
Okay,
cool.
And then your crew has two upgrades as well.
I put those in the chat.
Now,
some of these are pretty open-ended.
For example,
let me just get my notes here.
um all right we'll grab something yeah so we're just saying uh you get uh crew upgrades you get
two of them and i'm saying they're they're a little more vague uh than than like what i put in
um so these are the ones i picked from your crew class which is uh shadows uh so you can have like
basically an advantage when going through underground passages or caverns or basically
skulping about in the underground you get an advantage there if you want you can get an expert
in a specific field and either you guys can decide the field or i can generate one for you
double xp when using either insight prowess resolve or during your downtime so you'd pick one
and then every time you do a successful role in that you get double xp instead of just one xp or
Or you can increase your coin slots so you can get more coins.
Or you can do an upgrade to the ship if you want to,
if you guys can decide to add an upgrade.
Can we turn it into a submarine?
It's a very open-ended.
What?
Can we turn it into a submarine?
If you want to turn that thing into a submarine,
you're going to have to use both points because that is ridiculous.
I was listening to it at the end of last season,
and at three different points,
the suggestion was,
can we just turn this place into a submarine?
Submarines solve everything.
I agree.
I mean.
They really fly under the radar.
No submarine's ever,
you know, fallen out of the sky and crashed.
So it's got that over planes.
I mean, they do implode.
Is there one for informants?
I'm trying to see.
Yeah,
yeah.
So that could be your expert.
If you wanted a pre-established informant in the field,
we could do that.
That could be one.
I was thinking that would be cool since we're going to new plays.
I'm good with anything.
I kind of think,
what's it called?
Maybe the expert or the easy passage would be a good idea.
just because we do tend to be going through underground passages,
caves, the like.
But an expert in a specific field, you know,
it'd be really cool if we had like maybe a submarine guy there or a bomb guy.
I mean, I don't think we're going to be on the sea,
though,
right?
Or is that just because aren't we going to Lockport
and then we're going to be off the boat?
Yes,
yes.
So the boat,
it's going to, I assume,
you doesn't have to,
but it's kind of like your home base once it's established where it's at.
it's not going to go anywhere.
I'm not going to be like,
oh,
your boat's getting towed.
Unless you guys are real jerks
about it, and then I will tow your boat.
Well, you can't tow a submarine.
Yeah, I kind of want to have
a somebody,
if
somehow we can
invent a reason and a person
that we know has any
sort of connection to Lockport.
Okay.
Presumably the captain knows,
or the red captain knows about it, but I guess we're not talking to him.
No, that works.
Andy,
any opinions?
I'm fine with that.
Okay.
You want to inform it who knows about Lockport?
Cool.
You can kind of give me the skinny on things.
I'm cool with that.
Do you guys have any ideas
on how this informant comes about?
I just thought we're pretty wanted.
Yeah, perhaps community service
or something like that.
Can we do what?
Sorry, you cut out.
I didn't hear that last part.
To whom? To me?
Yeah.
Yeah, like how do we get rid of our wanted level?
Like perhaps doing some community service?
Or paying somebody.
Or paying someone.
That's how that works in GTA.
I actually don't think there's community service in GTA.
It would be better.
Better influence on society,
maybe.
Robbing cars so I can pick up trash on the highway.
Bring my part.
Okay.
Yeah,
we can definitely do both of those.
So I'm going to say the informant got that locked.
It's pretty much locked and loaded.
Give me one second.
Oh, you have a person already?
I may have pre-planned.
Almost as if we didn't have to spend a point on it.
No.
No, it turns out like she planned,
we're going to become experts in cave diving too,
that's just now taking back burner plans.
Yeah, yeah.
I guess I'll just, like, scrap the whole underground cave.
No, I'm kidding.
No, I definitely think we can get to the informant in there.
That's not a problem.
And then, yeah, for your lower wanted level,
yeah,
I think that as you guys,
we can kind of discuss it in game,
but, yeah,
we can do that.
We can lower your.
Yeah, because we have been getting mail correspondence via pigeon
yeah
so
yeah you have been getting some mail on the ship
I'm not sure how that helps but
no no
alright cool alright
let's get this going then
hold on I gotta get my character
where's the whiskey
where's my
where's my leg
you're sitting on it
well the dawn breaks
and the three of you
hey wait a second
if you stepped on glass last
session
which peg
which leg
because one of them is fake
no canonically it's real
he lied about it
canonically
the fake leg is a fake
canonically he just has really big pants
yeah it's a fake fake leg
I remember
it was a whole set of reveals that day
one right after the other
I was devastated
yes
I never forget you in many ways
as the sun rises
the three of you are sitting in your triple tier bunk beds
and
you're thinking about
the night you just had
This has been your real sort of brush with adventure before,
since you've killed the captain and left Teacher Rose.
So you're kind of maybe a little winded from the night, waking up in the middle of the night and getting the tar beat out of you.
Maybe you're a little excited because life's been a little bit boring on the boat.
But that's where we find you,
sitting in bed together.
Or, I'm sorry, all in your own beds, not in bed together.
Yeah.
I'm in a bunk bed with three people in one bunk.
And the other two are empty.
Five feet apart,
platonically.
But that's where you find you.
Thank you.
Thank you for putting that in there.
Platonically.
You hear the sounds of the ship kind of waking up.
Really,
it's just Dee Dee and Tawny.
Tawny has stumbled to the galley.
Dee Dee's wrestling upstairs.
The rest of what you're hearing is just general ghost working,
general ghost labor noises.
Tawny's got to take a splinter out of my hand.
And glass out of Badger's fake foot.
His fake, fake foot.
Also out of your foot and butt.
That's all right, guys.
Things were so boring before we got glass in our ass.
yeah well nothing ever happened oh shit i have glass in my ass god damn it
i've been picking glass out of my feet for uh you know since you know yesterday
i know you've been throwing it in my bed all night and the thing is i didn't appreciate that
the glass only happened from the glass attack only happened last night so where the rest of
this other glass come from?
I don't want to know.
I assume a broken bottle.
You just like take your hat off and...
Just bottles fall out
like some magic trick?
Yeah.
Oh yeah, dude.
It's just like, you know...
It's like the old guy
with the watches
but when you pull out
it's all just bottles.
And they're all empty.
And all 10 high.
Yes,
so you stumble out of bed.
Do you seek Tawny's help immediately?
What do you guys do?
You have a few moments before you guys get rolling.
I'm going to groan about my splinter a little bit more in bed.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm going to try and sleep in.
I'm going to throw glass pieces at Juckles.
but like secretly
like dying not to wake him up
but like yeah so secret
I don't wake up so I succeed in sleeping
in yeah yeah but I succeed
in my it's a finesse roll I think
okay winner
yes a win win for everyone
should I roll a finesse
yeah I don't know what you're trying to
accomplish but yeah go ahead
your guess is as good as mine
I forgot how to do
everything
Um,
literally everything.
It's been one week since you're missing me.
All right.
Partial success.
Oh, there's a consequence.
So who are you throwing glass at?
Juckles.
Who's trying to sleep?
no
that'll improve your relationship
you've been doing nothing
but sabotaging this relationship since the moment
we started playing
is this in character or no
out of character I don't know
you throw
you start throwing
glass at Chuckles
Chuckles if you want you can throw a resistance roll
it'd be finesse to see how well you
no I'm sleeping
so you're successfully
glass at him but not enough to like i don't know if your intention is to damage or annoy or wake him
up um you're not really doing anything occasionally you kind of hit him in the back and you see him
just twitch a little bit while he steadfastly uh ignores you uh but the silence does hurt your you
know the fact that he doesn't even turn around he doesn't make eye contact he doesn't even yell at
you kind of hurts a little bit you're hoping to get some reaction out of him you're going to take
one stress because you're worried about your relationship.
He's bullying me like a kid on the playground because he's really jealous and he likes me.
Well, you try to sleep in.
At some point, Dee Dee comes down the stairs because it's getting
kind of late.
Squish, you're kind of the cook on board.
So she's kind of used to getting a regular
breakfast,
and she sees the three of you kind of all slumbering in your separate bunk beds
and just kind of like, Squish, which bunk are you in?
I'm in the middle.
You're in the middle,
right.
Squish, she kind of like climbers over whoever's in the bottom bunk.
I'm assuming that's Chuckles?
Chuckles.
Why would you assume that?
Because you sure would.
I think you had notes.
I think we had notes about where you're at, yeah.
Oh, no,
Chuckles,
you're supposed to be in the middle.
You're in the middle bunk.
Squish, you're in the bottom bunk.
Yeah, I'm always in the middle.
Yeah.
She pads over to squish your bed, and she kind of, like,
wiggles next to you,
you know, and kind of wiggles some more.
And it's kind of cute,
except she is a chimp,
which is rather large, and she eventually kind of, like, is squishing you against the wall where the bed is propped.
Just whoop.
Does she have a lit cigarette?
Yeah.
Yeah, she does.
I take off my hat and I smack her and say,
you know you're not supposed to smoke in bed.
She definitely puts the cigarette out on the floor.
She starts tugging your arm and gesturing towards her mouth
to indicate that she's hungry.
Yeah, but I got a splinter and it kind of hurts.
So I don't know what we're going to do about that.
Okay, I'm just sitting there.
poking it.
Dee Dee takes your hand
and she starts poking the same spot.
Dee Dee?
This is when
Tawny kind of pokes his head in and he's like
It's like
two o'clock in the afternoon.
Oh, I thought you were a doctor.
Not a
time teller.
Not a clocker.
Also,
keep it
pooping down
a little man sleeping.
Well, I mean,
alright.
I'm awake now.
Has someone
been throwing glass at me?
No,
it's been raining glass.
No, the whole boat's full of
broken glass.
There's no windows on the ship.
It's strange
how this keeps happening,
how glass just gets
everywhere.
Glass gets everywhere.
It's coarse and gets everywhere.
What do you want,
Tony?
I'll follow Tony out and ask him to take my splinter out.
Are you going to make breakfast?
Me or Tony?
You.
Oh.
It's 2 o'clock.
It's 2 o'clock,
so.
Oh,
what?
According to our clockter,
it's too late for breakfast.
Linner?
It might be a Linner situation,
guys.
Linneredly.
The clockter.
Yeah,
so Tawny can heal you.
Let me just take a quick look exactly.
I don't have a harm or anything.
It was just annoying.
Oh, okay.
It was supposed to be a harm, but I'm tough as nails.
That's true.
He definitely pulls your splinter out.
Just with a pair of tweezers that he just kind of keeps behind his ear.
And it hurts a little bit, so I slap him.
Is it like...
Yeah, that'll gain his trust and friendship.
Sorry, it's a reaction.
I can't help it.
You're not the first,
T. Cherosh.
demon I've healed before,
but that is an unusual reaction.
You two okay in there?
And he's talking to
Patches and to
Chuckles now.
Just get my pants on.
Anything your intern
can do?
Do you want to help get my pants on?
I give up,
and he just shrugs and walks away.
Bad intern.
Right now what?
I've yelled at the intern.
I've begged for breakfast.
I'm all out of ideas.
All right.
That's really all he's got on the docket for today.
This is all you've got?
Food and badgermint.
Okay.
So you put on your pants and you go on about your business in the city or in the boat,
whatever it is that you're doing.
Strutting.
With glass in your feet?
I mean,
trying to strut.
I'm just lucky there's no role for strut.
I'm just lucky there's no doctor on board.
It's a guy who tells the time.
uh as you awkwardly strut uh on board on top of the on deck um
chuckles are you gonna be sleeping in oh no i i woke up with all the hubbub there's a lot of
there's a lot of badgerment um so now i'm rightly agitated uh i do have glass and feet and more
glass and crack um but i have a a tinker a physiker ability i can tinker with bones blood
and bodily humors to treat wounds um but i've never used it so yeah i think this is like a
practice thing because i just figure tawny is busy getting slapped and just generally badgered
maybe I could just
try my luck at pulling glass
out of my own feet.
Yeah,
for sure.
So roll your thing,
Tinker.
Roll your Tinker and give yourself a plus one.
A plus one
and a Tinker roll?
Yeah, you can Tinker with
Bones, Blood, Body, Humans.
Everyone in your crew gets plus one
D to their healing treatment rolls.
Oh boy.
Modifier plus one.
Failure.
You were so cocky.
What happened?
I threw five dice.
That's like the worst tinker roll
I've ever seen you do.
What did you do?
Did you just go to bend over
and just fall into the glass?
I'm in bed.
You fell out of bed
and fell into the glass?
You somehow got the glass
further into your feet?
Yeah, onto more glass.
Yeah, you fell out of bed onto the glass that was thrown at you.
Oh, that's a good idea.
More glass.
Yeah.
Do you want to describe your failure,
or should I?
No, you sound too excited for me to take that away from you.
I'm not.
That rough man.
So as you're,
it turns out that despite your amazing tinker skills and your general like
deafness with tools,
you're lousy with a pair of tweezers.
And when it comes at least to getting your own skin,
you are just mucking it up and you
end up looking more kind of battered and bruised than you did before.
The glass that has been thrown at you is now sometimes somehow also kind of in your feet
as well.
Oh, great.
That wasn't there before.
So you're not going to take any more harm.
You're going to take a stress,
though,
just from the sheer frustration of this,
like this thing that you should have done well and you couldn't do well.
And never and did not heal at all.
And I should have just stayed asleep.
Not heal at all.
I don't even know why I woke up this morning.
No breakfast.
No healing.
Well, as you're sitting there glum and kind of,
you know,
kicking yourself,
You hear this familiar thunk on the deck of the ship.
You know that this means that a bottle has been delivered,
and more than likely it's a bottle for you.
A bottle?
Like a message in a bottle dropped by a pigeon.
Oh, excellent.
The pigeons carry bottles?
Yeah.
Oh,
great.
I don't know that I even thought about how they carried their messages.
How do you think so many bottles ended up on ship?
I figured it'd be drinking.
I mean, I'm not sure that, you know, whoever is sending me messages,
or I have a good idea who it is, I don't think they drink Ten High.
Because they are classy,
you know,
respectable,
bird-faced women.
Ten High is very popular.
Especially among kids.
Well, anyway.
So I got a package.
You got a message.
The Wells Fargo wagon,
it's coming for me.
uh when you go on uh i'm assuming you kind of just stop whatever you're doing you rush up
the stairs to go uh on the main deck except i'm hobbling because there's because there's glass
in my feet and all of my body parts and in my butt and i run with my butt so you hesitantly and with
gingerly and with great care ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch take take your time and you get to the to the
bottle and yes uh you immediately recognize as one of lady high hill's bottles for you
So it has a distinctive...
Ah, it smells like her still.
Yeah,
the cork is kind of...
You know, when you open it, you get like a little smell of like her perfume.
Wow.
It's one of her very delicate bottles.
Sealed with a kiss.
And when you pull out the bottle and when you open it, this for you is very romantic.
Just want to preface that.
This is something that very much warms your heart.
But it is written in a very...
Are you there?
God, it's me.
you know,
Judy style,
where she goes,
this is the letter.
It says,
dear Pat.
Sorry.
This is written in symbols and third grade English.
Yeah.
Dear Chuckles,
how are you?
I miss you so much.
Oh,
she misses me.
Yeah.
It says she misses me.
I love your letters.
And it says, look forward.
And she kind of like has scratched it out.
And she says,
I'm excited to see all your bottles come in.
Your spelling is getting very good.
Wow.
There's like a little smiley face.
Wow.
I've talked to dad.
And there's like a little like picture of her green goblin father.
A little disgusting little goblin man.
Yeah.
Gross.
And he's agreed to drop all charges against your crew.
Hey,
as I remember,
and I'm yelling this at the letter, as I remember,
I pulled that disgusting
man out of a burning building.
No matter how it started.
So in the letter you're writing back, there's a picture.
The letter goes on.
Wish you were here.
Let me know your next stop.
Love, Lady High Hill.
Wow.
Got little hearts and kisses on it.
And I kiss it and then I put it under my hat.
Yep.
So this has lifted your spirit some.
Squish patches,
where are you guys on the ship at this tender moment?
I guess I'm making food.
Okay.
Squish is in the galley.
Your favorite thing in the whole world.
A splinter.
But I got my hand wrapped up really, like,
a lot.
So it looks like I was really injured.
Like you really burned your hand or something or really cut it up.
Yeah.
Patches?
Hanging off the front,
looking at the horizon,
pulling glass out of my feet,
and taking it all in.
Okay, you want to roll your own healing roll?
Yeah, sure. How do I do that?
Let me take a quick look.
So you'll still get the plus one from Truffles'
benefit,
but you won't be rolling Tinkers.
Tinkers.
You're going to roll a prowess resistance roll.
Plus one.
A prowl resistance roll?
You're a prowess roll,
and you're going to give yourself a...
So you hit prowess.
The word prowess.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I see it now.
There it is.
Sorry.
I was looking underneath those.
and then what?
And then a plus
one modifier.
It's us.
I'm singing a little song.
Hail the drunk fort boys.
Da da da da.
And it's, you know,
pulling out glass and just,
you know, enjoying
the sea air.
Are you sitting on top of the
big bucks,
the Latino
Dave on the front of the ship?
Yeah,
yeah.
The busty Latino Dave.
Oh,
man.
I didn't AI that. I bet I could have.
You guys want to be on some kind of list.
For Latinos.
It's spicy.
All right.
Well,
yeah,
you start pulling the glass out of your feet.
Also, while hanging on one arm to the boat as it's swaying.
When you hear the captain Fitz Clyde from the helm,
shout out,
Land Ho!
Land Ho?
Land Ho!
Land what?
Holy crap.
Land Ho!
And he says it, and as he says it for that third time, it kind of echoes throughout the boat.
So no matter where you are in the ship,
you have heard him say, Land Ho.
Then Squish and Dee Dee walk upstairs through the door.
We're just eating pieces of toast.
Dry white toast.
Well,
yeah,
and I would like to look off the side as well towards the hole.
Yeah, where's the hole at?
Well, you're on the front of the boat, so you should see it, right?
Because we're going towards it.
Oh, that doesn't look very good.
Yeah,
you pull into Lockport.
Mine's black.
Okay, hold on.
Because they're not in here.
I will fix it.
I'm panicking.
I went blind.
I knew it was a bad idea to have toast.
You pull into Lockport.
As you do,
you see a city kind of emerging in front of you.
Lockport is a very hilly city.
It's got lots of hills and valleys and the houses and buildings are all kind of like crammed on there.
So city,
but you can see that there's hills.
But what you pull into is just a dock filled with a bunch of other ships.
It's active.
There are people walking around.
You see it just looks like a functioning dock.
There are cargo is being taken off of ships.
People are boarding onto other ships.
It's a busy place.
and the captain kind of doesn't lower anchor
but kind of slows the boat down
and he turns to face the three of you standing there
looking at your approach and goes,
all right, have your boys got your story straight?
You got your story straight?
No, I didn't know we needed a story.
We are perfectly good members of society.
He's right.
okay well they're gonna ask for paperwork for the boat like title papers registration things like
that uh things i may have had on my body when i died um you know because we tossed that whole thing
i i do remember my funeral have to say not very respectful you didn't have to whiz on me like a
dog.
Well,
to be fair,
we didn't think you were going to come back.
We didn't have to laugh about it, too.
Well, you're going to have to answer to the
Port Authority about
your doings here,
and
I'm afraid,
as a ghost, can't really help you
on that being non-corporeal and such.
So if you
you'd like now sometime,
we're going to be heading into the dock in just a
moment.
So,
you know, put your seats
back up into their upright positions.
and all that,
but
you're going to need to
come up with something.
We've got a plan.
I can't read.
Okay.
Or write,
so I'm not going to be able to
come up with paperwork unless
I can do it in crayon.
No, we don't need no paperwork.
I feel like maybe
we should,
you know,
it's something to consider.
Oh, no.
We'll sneak in.
sneak in
with a full
sized ship
no we'll pull it in we'll park
and then we'll just jump off the boat
and swim
your silence
seems to tell me that I came up with a really
good idea
well it's an idea
and I used to have a saying
you know no idea is a bad idea
But look at me. You've proven me wrong.
Well,
thank God I didn't ask my chauffeur.
I was asking my crew.
Lads.
Well,
I mean, he's the only person
who knows anything about
Lockport.
They're all the same.
Okay.
Yeah, I guess we could just ignore
his hints and helpful guidance.
I'm sure that'll work
well for us.
Yeah.
We'll just blow it up anyway.
I'm sure your optimism
is going to help us too.
Squish? Are you frozen forever?
Oh, yeah.
Bridget, I still don't have
a picture.
You don't have a picture?
Mm-hmm.
Do you see it now?
No.
All right. Hold on.
because you're in here and it's
they just hit the button
you have a picture tiger
oh yeah but I'm a GM
hmm
let's see
Did that do anything for you?
No.
There it is.
I turned off scene vision.
Or token vision.
Huh.
If disabled, the entire scene is visible.
Goddamn Hong Kongolians.
Gaurians,
they take her down on my wall.
And it's all frozen.
Take her down on my wall.
Oh, no, he's turning into a blue square.
Blue square, Andy.
Yes,
plus I heard thunder
So that might have something to do with it
What?
He said he heard thunder
Which he's implying is related
Alright are we all back together?
No he froze again
He was back for like half a second
You frozen?
No I'm here
Oh no you're here
No you were just really determined
I have an innate stillness
I just don't like to move honestly is what it is
If I don't move,
nobody will see me.
Yeah,
I got that Drax.
He's back now.
He's moving.
He's back alive.
This is what happens when you put your internet
in the bottom of a well.
Is that where they put his witches too?
He's like, there's my well.
There's my well router.
I got to go down to the bottom of the well to reset it.
I don't know why the Comcast guy put my router at the bottom of a well.
He's moving.
No, he's back.
He's grooving.
He heard us.
No, he's moving.
He's blinking.
I can't tell if he's not moving
or if he's just really determined.
No,
I think he's
gas.
Maybe he's got
better innate stillness than you, Bridget.
It could be. It would fool me.
Fool me once.
Shame on you.
Fool me twice.
Don't get
fooled again.
Shit.
Watch me hit this drive.
Don't you miss,
Bush.
Yeah
Don't you miss when you could throw your shoes
No, no, when you could throw your shoes
at the president
Yeah, and it was fun
That was allowed back then
Yeah
He dodged those too
That's the rule
If he dodges the shoe
He wins
He gets to keep the shoe
If he dodges the shoe, he gets to retire
and paint for the rest of his life
he gets hit in the face of the shoe,
well...
And there's four more years of that.
Four more years.
Four more years of
Bush.
What?
The picture
that Tiger put in the chat.
He really hates when I do that.
Oh,
well, this is Lockport.
It really looks like our hometown Lockport,
you know,
with the smog and the unpleasant nature of it.
The empty buildings and, you know,
gay lords everywhere.
The abandoned warehouse district.
That's where we're going to have a robot battle at the end of the season,
right?
Oh, he's moving again.
Hello?
Hello.
Hi.
Is this thing on?
It better be or we're going to take more pictures of you.
Please don't.
Well, don't be visible then.
Quit being corporeal.
How about that?
Does that help?
I don't know if it helps.
Does it help you?
It helps my confidence.
Alright.
Alright,
guys.
I have a plan of sneaking in,
but what do you guys have?
I forget. We're all three co-captains.
And, you know,
Mr. Sub-Captain Chauffeur
over there.
So what are you guys'
plans?
Hey!
We're talking about boys!
Turn it into a submarine.
and go under them.
That's our solution to everything.
We really got to come up with a better idea
as in decoys and submarines.
Under what?
The whole town.
We attach giant balloons
to the ship
and go over them.
Okay,
I like your enthusiasm.
Bridget, we're making our ship
into a balloon.
Don't tell Captain Fitzclyde.
I mean, then maybe don't discuss that right on the deck
when I'm talking to you, not ten feet away.
I forgot to call you so far, McClyde.
McClyde?
FitzClyde.
I knew that sounded wrong, but I didn't know why.
Because he's not Scottish?
FitzClyde isn't Scottish?
Not as Scottish as McClyde.
No, it's Pakistani.
I'll be damned.
With a little bit of Portuguese.
Listen, I can put the anchor down right here if you guys need a few more minutes to think about it,
but you either have to decide how you're going to approach this,
because as soon as I pull that ship into dock,
people are going to come up here asking questions,
and you better have answers for them.
Can we forge these documents?
Yeah.
Well, I can't.
I mean,
I probably could.
I don't know.
Aren't I learned it?
You are learned it.
That was in character.
Am I still learned, guys?
Honestly, I'm not sure at this point in time.
I thought so,
but then you do so.
Because I thought it was learned for a long time, but I've been saying learned lately, so I'm wondering if I'm really not that smart.
Well,
now you've made me doubt everything.
I say we try to forge some documents.
Why don't we forge some documents with crayons?
No, I assume there's ink somewhere.
Can we use Neelix to do that?
Can he forge?
Does he happen to be a forger?
Who's our best forger?
Can he transform into a female set of documents?
A female set of documents.
Hey, we accept Neelix for what he is or who he is.
I don't think he identifies his documents,
unfortunately.
No,
Neelix cannot
Forge your documents
If you need forging
Is it because he's a ghost?
I mean that is not
Just not particularly skilled
What if we have
What if we have the show
Captain
Distract the port authority
While we sneak in
Like behind them
It is a ghost ship
Maybe it could be like
You know
spooky and they come on and they have to
deal with the ghost and we just sneak off.
It's like, imagine if
Scooby-Doo showed up to the house but
the guy in the house was trying to sneak out
so he's just scaring them as a decoy
and then
slip away.
Yeah, like the Venture Brothers.
They just had that really big scary boat
and then it turned out they weren't actually ghosts.
Yeah, no,
yeah,
exactly.
I say we up the ante on the ghost stuff.
All right, I've offered a couple ideas.
We've talked about forging.
Do you want to do all three?
One of us will forge, one of us will spook, and one of us will sneak.
Your silence tells me it's a good answer,
I think.
I was kind of waiting for what Andy said.
I don't know how proficient or bad we would be at forging documents.
I know that I would not be good at forging documents.
because I primarily write in crayon and in pictures.
So that won't be good for me.
Maybe one of you would be,
but then we would still have to lie our way through.
But both me and you are really good at sway.
Yes,
but we still need papers.
You sound like you got an idea, Tiger. What's up?
No,
I'm just talking it through.
Well, I'm evaluating the three plans that you gave us.
Oh, that's what you do.
Evaluating.
Can I attempt to tinker a set of documents?
Sure.
And then we'll see how it goes from there.
Yes.
Well, not good, boys.
So what's plan B?
Because I also only write in Cran.
if it's like
you gotta describe what you
wrote
you gotta show us your shame
did you ever see that Spongebob episode
where he starts the essay
and he's writing for hours
and hours but he's just got like a really fancy
the
that's exactly
what it is
yeah
yeah you uh
You hold the documents you've created up in front of Captain Fitzclad,
and he just is like, oh,
okay.
What was plan B?
Sorry.
Well, plan B was a submarine.
Juggles, can you tinker that?
A submarine?
No.
I mean, we don't have that kind of time.
Plan C was an airship.
It was turning into an airship.
Yeah,
plan C was balloons.
Juggles, can you tinker that?
And Plan D was scaring
the whole port authority.
I mean, we could do that.
Can you conjure ghosts?
But they're on the ship
because of Fitzy.
And I could compel them to do what I want.
So what if we
hide on the back
or like on the outside
of the ship?
It docks.
I can summon a storm
with heavy fog.
And we sneak around.
i'm sorry repeat that yeah if we get around the side of it and like it docks but then they come
aboard and they see it's just a bunch of ghosts yeah what if we just pretend to be empty then
they're abandoned and then we sneak around i also i have this ability called tempest and i can make
it's uh you could push yourself to do one of the following and one of the following things i could
do is summon a storm or
with a heavy fog.
So I could come in with fog.
Yeah.
Like a spooky
empty abandoned boat.
Like right in... I got the inspiration
from this picture I'm looking at.
Oh, the foggy place. Oh, I guess maybe
this place is already foggy.
I guess
your magic is useless.
No, we're going to be extra foggy.
Extra foggy.
Can you have
the fog come out of the big
Latino Dave's mouth.
Oh,
yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Is this the plan?
Yeah.
Well,
maybe.
No, I'd like the plan.
I'm just thinking about what else we could
do with the ghosts.
We need to make them more spooky.
So maybe we should talk to the ghosts
about...
We can give a couple of some chains to rattle.
Yeah.
Chains.
I like that.
maybe they can be bloody and or full of glass
we've got plenty
of that lying around
can we throw sheets
over them
yeah we are the crusty crab crew
maybe we should put sheets on them
and you know what we could
erect a big T and set it on fire
no
T for terror
T for terrible
for terrible
For Krusty Krab Crew.
We might have to change our name.
I think Captain Fitzclyde is trying to make us racist.
I don't like what the afterlife has done to him.
He's wearing a white sheet all the time.
Do we have to convince the ghosts?
Do we have to conjure more ghosts?
I mean, you're a ghost captain.
Can you conjure more ghosts, uglier ghosts?
I mean, I can compel ghosts.
I can force nearby ghosts to appear and they'll obey my commands.
That's my compel.
But the problem with that is that's a special ability.
So if I do that, I don't think I can do Tempest at the same time, right?
It would have to be in a different role.
I see, a different role.
So you could do,
like,
so for your compel, you would probably use command.
So you'd have to roll a command roll to see how well you could command these ghosts.
And then you would need to do a second roll for the Tempest.
And what would Tempest be?
What kind of roll would that be?
I'm going to say attune to, like, the spiritual world.
Okay.
Is that right?
Well,
yeah, I don't know.
It should be fine.
What do you guys want to do?
Because I can compel ghosts to be extra spooky and rattle chains and, you know, burn giant teas,
apparently.
Or I can cause a massive fog disaster and we can just,
you know,
come in hot in the fog.
Like,
it would be a pretty big spectacle.
And,
you know, the ghosts are still out here,
you know.
We have Captain Ghosts, and we also have Neelix if we need to,
if we need to unleash a scary ghost that's wearing a very pretty dress.
Considering we didn't make any efforts to move at all
after the captain yelled at us for being 10 feet away from him,
what is his general disposition towards this Scooby-Doo-esque plan?
You know,
he's listening with, like,
mild amusement.
Like, this is not the plan that he would have done himself.
But he is kind of bemused by your ingenuity,
by the situation.
Yeah, he's not against it.
He's not going to stop you.
Is he going to support us?
Because we could use some help in rousing his useless crew.
Oh,
listen,
I'm here for you, lad.
If nobody else that I'm here for you chuckles,
I know.
And he takes you aside and goes, I know you've been working on your letters.
And I just got to say,
you're doing a great job.
Very proud.
You're reading my letters?
No,
no.
But I see how hard you read.
I don't have anything to do all day.
I spy on everyone.
Does it look like I'm trying very hard when I'm reading it?
Well, your mouth moves a lot.
You don't use your finger when you read?
No.
Oh.
Okay.
Well,
I'll get there someday.
Yes, of course.
This crew could need a little rousing.
It's been smooth sailing.
I say we give it a little bumpy intro back into Lockport.
What do you say, boys?
And you hear the ghostly crew just faintly.
They start singing a pirate song.
Yeah.
What noise was that?
Was that jeering?
Was that mild enthusiasm?
That's them softly booing from the underworld.
Boo.
Yeah.
Woo.
You say the words, boys,
and I'll bring this ship in how you want her.
You want her fast and hot, spook the devil out of them,
or you want it slow and roll.
We'll do whatever you like.
You don't even have to command me,
but you're going to have to do the rest
because I can only pilot the boat.
All right.
I guess then we'll decorate.
Can we have a decorating montage?
absolutely decorate away
all right streamers
so uh you guys are running around the ship and and uh at some point patch yeah chuckles uh you're
just like putting up like streamers with little bits of tape you know maybe you struggle with the
tape with a little bit there's like can i can i make paper uh paper skeletons oh paper lanterns
I'm going to do paper chains.
Yeah, paper chains.
Oh, this is just going to be like a third grade haunted house.
You're down in the galley with some safety scissors,
you know, really quickly,
you know, cutting and gluing.
But, yeah, you're making the ship appear at least to be relatively spooky.
Didi did a hand turkey for some reason I haven't figured out.
Yeah, yeah.
She's never even seen a turkey.
You know,
she's made a hand turkey.
Tawny even gets in on the fun a little bit
and he puts like a sheet over his head and like...
Oh, yeah.
What are we going to do with Tawny?
Tawny.
Oh, we got to make him look dead or make him dead.
No, no.
Let's throw a sheet over him.
Yes.
One of the pointy head ones.
He just needs to pretend he's a ghost.
Tawny gets the sheet thrown over him.
It's one, but it's Juckle's sheet.
yeah so it's all
crusty
wow rude no
yeah yeah so here's what I'll have you guys do
each one of you is going to roll a finesse roll
and then depending on how that goes that'll be kind of your boost
for whatever comes next
to see how well you've decorated finesse
good thing I upgraded that
Oh, me too
Brandon, would you sneeze the entire screen, Chuck?
Alright
That wasn't the screen, that was the house
Oh
Alright,
someone else get a six
So we can critically succeed
Nice
We did
That is
Alright, we will add that
Before I forget
Well,
we'll do it later, it doesn't matter
I forgot to give you guys XP.
Okay,
so you guys have decorated this ship out to be scary.
Now you're all at your places.
So the Captain Fitzclyde is at the helm.
Patches, if I understand correctly, your next move is to make fog or to rile up the crew?
I thought I was going to make fog.
I thought Fitzclyde was riling up the crew.
yeah yeah he's got the crew plenty riled um so you're gonna make this fog um squish and chuckles
where are you guys because i'm assuming you're standing patches you're standing kind of on the
deck to do this right because you're making it come out of busty dave's mouth yeah yeah i'm like
right above busty dave like waving my hands around all right doing your voodoo um squish
and chuckles where are you guys at this point uh i i this might take a tinker roll but i would like
Is there a way that I could
tinker some
spooky fireworks or
light display?
Oh, what if it's shooting
flaming green streamers
out of the cannons?
I'd like to be on the cannon level.
I would be hanging my head out of the cannon
cannon hole.
Yeah, you can definitely do that.
And I think that's totally within your purview
of making shit that explodes.
Oh, yeah.
Make that shit explode.
so should i roll a tinker or just uh yeah assume i did it did it for free
uh roll your tinker i think you'll be fine but we'll see i don't know i wasn't fine last time
that's true that's better yeah
so however yeah yeah you did you did great so you're in sticking your head out of the cannon
ready to set off these green streamers.
I'm saying we're just kind of getting crap.
Nothing's quite happened yet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, and then Squish, where are you?
Whenever I'm giving the signal.
I think Squish wants to...
Eat.
Cook.
Yeah,
cook.
No, he's going to be hanging along the side of the ship,
but on the opposite side of...
Well, starboard side.
So I can kind of climb along the ship on the...
hidden from you
you're a demon
you're already scary
can you do any demon stuff
no
are you resistant to fire
demon stuff
I don't think so
maybe I'm getting confused with
with
Ravina
Oh, yeah, I guess.
I was trying to think of the...
Oh, Schmiddlegear.
Okay,
yeah, roll your finesse
just to see how well, if you're having any issues
hanging on.
Okay.
Nope.
Nice.
Yeah, so you have no issues
hanging on,
so
to set the scene,
Chuckles,
you are hanging out of a cannon,
ready to set off a series of sparks,
explosions,
streamers, things like that.
Squish, you are hanging on to the back of the ship.
And I'm going to say Dee Dee is also with you hanging on.
And being a chimp, she has no issues hanging on.
Of course.
It's hanging on behind the ship.
And then,
Patches, you are at the very front of the ship waiting to start the fog.
Fog it up.
Fog it up and fog it out.
Okay.
The scene is...
Take it away.
What's your code word to set this whole thing off?
What do you do?
Coming in hot.
Is that our code word?
I mean, it's kind of a mouthy code word.
How about
hot boxes?
Hot boxes!
Hot boxes.
Sorry, one final question.
How do you want the captain to bring the ship in?
Slow.
Slow and parallel parking.
Okay.
So.
Patches, you scream hot box.
Go ahead and throw your tune for your template.
You get a plus one since that's your skill too.
It was a toon, right?
A toon,
yeah.
To bring that storm.
Okay.
So, uh...
What?
Never mind,
go ahead.
I was going to say, don't you roll two for a toon?
That's what I thought.
Can I try that again, or can I look?
Yeah, you did plus one,
right?
Yeah, I did.
Okay, yeah, roll back, because you should have had at least three dice in there.
Okay, modifier is plus one.
Number of dice, it says two,
so...
Okay, let me try that again.
Sorry.
There it is.
Sorry.
okay
I wonder why that came on as only one last time
anyway point doesn't matter
the fog
starts pouring out of you
take it away what do you do
I'm dancing a little bit
it's coming is it where's it coming out of
it's coming out of
dusty
busty Dave's mouth as
requested
oh yeah yeah so it's just coming out of his mouth
and I'm kind of like just like
doing my
ritual dance that I need to do
to summon a tempest.
Stop.
That's not the title.
It's a suggestion.
It's been mentioned three
times.
So anyway
Smoke is coming out of Busty
Dave's mouth.
just like in real life,
honestly.
Not coming out,
always coming in.
It circles around me.
It circles around the boat,
kind of going under the water and spreading out
kind of like almost like uncannily fast,
almost like it's spreading really quickly.
And yeah, it's just overflowing from the mouth
as we're just spewing out like this fog
from the front of our boat.
you know um is it already dark is it nighttime i know it's morning right yeah it's like midday
it's midday so we're gonna have a foggy midday right it's gonna be a real extra foggy like you
know it's so much fog it's about the it's like it's not blocking out the sun but it's like it's
pretty bad it's like it's like a fire was lit and it's just all probably should have waited until
night if we're ghosts.
Yeah,
too late now.
We're coming in hot.
We woke up in two,
so it probably
took a while to travel there.
In the montage?
Let's say it's dusk.
As night time
comes, the foggy,
the foggy, crabby crew
shows up.
Alright,
so yeah, you're
successfully able to produce this fog.
What you guys are seeing as the ship kind of approaches the dock,
it's moving very, very slowly to give it the most eeriness,
is that people have started to kind of gather onto the piers and they're pointing and looking at the ship.
Is there any noise coming from the ship or is it dead quiet?
We're pretending it's abandoned.
Yeah, we're pretending it's abandoned.
So it's absolutely eerie.
just,
you know, come back for a second.
This ship rolls into dock,
into the port,
and fog has enveloped the area,
making it
difficult to see.
People are, like, looking aboard,
like, trying to peer on board.
You see a group of what appear to be some sort of authorities in uniforms kind of running
out on deck.
There's one man in particular kind of leading them.
He sees your boat coming in.
You've set off the fog.
What would you like to happen next?
Chuckles, weren't you going to throw off your fireworks?
I'm waiting for the right time.
Is it the right time yet?
Well,
I mean, so I'm thinking once the place is good, thickly fogged,
maybe throw the fireworks as a distraction so that that's when we get off the boat.
What do you think?
Like,
they'll be looking at the fireworks.
Like, we'll throw that on the fireworks on the port side of the boat,
and we'll get off on the Larbird side of the boat.
The who?
Was that the last thing you said?
The Larbird?
Yeah.
So you think the opposite of Starbird is Larbird?
It was.
It's not anymore,
but that's a fun fact.
That's true.
Larbird used to be the opposite of Starbird,
then they converted it to port side.
Okay.
I learned it from a movie.
You're lucky I'm too easy to look into that.
Yeah.
Yeah, we can do that.
But we should probably get really close so we don't have to swim very far.
Yeah.
So you also have the ghost crew waiting for your kind of command,
sorry, to be ghostly.
They're sitting quietly, standing quietly nearby,
just slightly outside of presence and seeing.
Oh,
yeah, we should send the ghost first,
and then I'll bring them in even closer out of curiosity.
And then I'll shoot the Chinese fire.
The Chinese fire.
I don't think that's a preferred nomenclature.
Oh, I didn't say what I wanted to say, though.
That doesn't make it better.
And we're thankful.
So the ship gets closer to port and on your queue of hotbox or whatever you said,
a crew starts kind of,
hotbox, yeah,
flickering in and out of existence.
And they're going about their tasks like normal,
like they would normally be bringing a ship into port,
except they're physically not doing,
you know,
nothing is actually happening.
So you see people tossing ropes and you see them,
you know,
making lines and there's people calling out and climbing the rigging.
But it's done completely silently.
And the ship gets closer and closer to port.
You guys are now within the distance.
You are safe within the harbor is what I'm saying is.
You guys are close enough that if you wanted to jump at any point,
you could safely make it to shore.
But you're getting kind of closer and closer to this pier.
As you get closer,
the boat is slowing down.
People on shore are starting to really take notice.
They've seen the ghost crew.
There's a big hubbub.
Everyone is just talking and shouting.
The man,
the clearly in-charged figure with a firm mustache,
is starting to shout at people.
Ropes are getting pulled to basically,
they assume that this is a runaway boat to dock it and pull it into shore.
Ladders are being brought.
you can see that they're about to board the ship.
All right, this is my cue.
And I would like to shoot the cannon,
and I wanted to light up the boat in a very eerie green glow
and highlighting the ghost's existence for all to see.
Although I guess this is a land of ghosts,
so are they going to be scared of ghosts?
Doesn't matter. It's too late. The plan is in motion.
Everyone's afraid of ghosts.
Yeah, so the ship...
So your,
what do you call it, Chinese fireworks?
Your Chinese fire, yeah.
All of a sudden just bursts a light,
and because of the fog,
the light kind of startles and then dissipates,
illuminating these ghostly figures on deck.
And you hear the crowd gasp, you know, as they're seeing this,
to their absolute shock.
Once I see the flash, I jump off the side of the boat into the water.
to try to swim to the port next to us.
Okay.
Or the pier next to us.
Okay.
Are you two,
Patches and Chuckles, are you still on board?
Well, I wasn't sure what I was going to do next.
I was really excited about the fire.
And I saw Squish jump, and I guess I'll follow him.
I look at Fitzcline and I say,
you're going to take care of the ship,
right?
Oh, I'll take good care of my ship,
don't you worry.
Our ship.
You're an ex-captain.
Don't think I can't.
Just because you won over Juckles a little bit,
don't think I have not eyes onto you.
Look.
What?
One of us is bound to the ship in life and death,
and it's not you,
so.
it sounds like i got myself a built-in uh built-in pilot
just take care look just take care of the ship all right i mutated really hard to get this one
and then i uh you know are you gonna throw out the ghosts yet or what
oh they're out they're they're out yeah they're already working that yeah do you want them to are
you want them to rile up?
Yeah, let's rile them up.
All right.
As you say, you know, you better take care of my
ship now and walk away.
The captain turns to his crew
and says, all right,
boys,
let's give it
a once-all. Let's give it a nice dusk-of-all
welcome.
And
you don't hear it, but you can see them all
raise up their arms and cheer.
And the pirates essentially start
rioting on the ship.
So they are now just
there's flooding
the top deck,
pirates are starting to throw
ghostly punches at each other.
And it's very exaggerated and over the top.
Like,
clearly they're not hurting each other.
Also, they can't. They're ghosts.
But, you know, they're like,
you know, there's pirates hanging from
the rigging. Really hamming it up.
Yeah,
yeah.
Real Disney pirates
here.
Yeah.
Yeah, you know.
So,
So, and then you jump overboard.
Splash.
Yeah.
I jump overboard.
Splash.
You jump overboard.
All right.
So we're going to do two sets of roles.
I'm going to do one.
I'm going to take into account your critical successes to see how distracted the crowd and specifically the guards are.
You guys are going to throw.
It's,
I'm going to say you're going to throw the same prowess,
I'm saying that wrong, roll,
to see how easily you throw to shore.
So it'll be your three rolls individually,
and then I'm going to throw there basically how well you were able to distract them.
Okay.
Why does it say success?
That's pretty good.
Maybe they all say success.
Well, they should.
That's weird.
Yeah.
Suffer for stress.
Okay.
Yeah,
we're going to.
But then why does
Chuckles?
Oh, because you got a critical.
Yeah,
so Patches,
so I'm going to say you all make it to shore.
Regardless,
you all make it to shore.
Squish, I think
Dee Dee panicked
the minute she hit the water
and started clawing on you
because she actually can't swim.
She is not.
She isn't a, she's kind of built
like a brick.
So you're going to go ahead and take that for stress
from having to drag her back ashore.
Patches, as soon as you jumped off,
you heard this voice saying,
what the hell?
And you see a sheet,
a man dressed in a sheet,
jump in next to you.
Tawny has jumped in,
and he's flailing in his sheet.
And much like Dee Dee,
you have to assist him to shore.
So you're also going to take too stress.
What are you doing?
You're supposed to stay on the ship.
Well, I can't stay on the ship.
There's just ghosts now.
You guys didn't tell me you didn't plan anything.
You just threw a sheet on me.
We told you to be a ghost intern.
I didn't want to just hide out on the ship.
What's going to happen?
They're going to board that ship, and they're going to go in there,
and there's not going to be anyone there.
What's going to happen to the ship?
I didn't want to be caught on there.
You're right.
My Pokemon cards.
Listen,
there's plenty of places to hide.
Let's just get you to shore.
And like, you know,
yeah,
he's really struggling.
Yeah, and you kind of drag him onto the next dock besides this crowd by his sheet.
All right.
Let me do mine here.
and i didn't suffer any stress because always on the boat i just was like swimming alongside the
boat whenever we had a chance that was one of my um off time things yeah yeah you you actually
pretty good at swimming you're actually pretty good at swimming also like because you kind of
had yourself in a cannon, you kind of just like
lit a small explosion that kind
of like gave you enough propeller to like
really kind of get you good into the water.
So you like a graceful swan
dive,
you know, while
the rest of these two are just falling.
All right.
Let's see if that works.
Awesome.
Why did it say it has patches?
Oh, because you had them clicked.
Oh,
well, it doesn't matter. It was
three anyway,
but you're not getting that
The crowd is completely distracted.
You have managed to slip behind them.
They don't even notice that you have pulled up on the dock beside them.
But as before you go,
you get one final look of the captain who's waving his hands at you.
And he goes,
hey,
hey, you guys might want this.
And he takes a bottle and he chucks it at you guys.
And you're going to go ahead and catch it.
Any one of you catches it.
I'm going to say actually.
It's probably a love letter.
And you hold it.
You're able to catch it.
Because you've been really good at catching these bottles from the pigeons as they drop them.
Yeah,
they're not very reliable.
The pigeons.
No, they just drop it.
Yeah.
When you uncork the bottle.
Let me pull this up.
Neelix pops up.
yeah you forgot this you dum-dums
hey you idiots
yes sir and he's wearing just
like a nightgown
he's wearing one of those old
fashion like swimsuits you know with the
skirt you know with that lady
stripes yeah
why can't I show this
let's see
hold on
swimming
Do you guys see that?
Should be a piece of paper.
Yeah.
Yeah,
looks familiar.
When you open it up,
and it is a map of Lockport,
the city you are now in.
And you notice there's a lot of these squares kind of like colored in.
You don't really have any more details than what this map shows,
but at least you now have a functioning map of Lockport.
Is that Archer?
This is a map of actual Lockport.
Yes.
I was not that clever.
Yeah,
but now you have a map of Lockport,
and you can see clearly where you guys are at on the docks,
and you are relatively unbothered, and it is the five of you.
So it's Patches, it's Chuckles,
it's Dee Dee,
it's Squish, and it's Tawny.
The whole crew.
I just realized that Tawny's our healer, and it really bugs me.
Yeah, I was about to say, let's just, you know, it's five for now.
Let's just wait until Patches yells at Tawny and makes him go away.
I don't know.
I think now I wish we had an intern in the other game when we didn't have a healer.
And Tawny kind of looks around at the three of you and says, so what now?
We're here.
I think we win.
Yeah.
Well, that was a wrap on season three,
guys.
Thanks,
Drew.
All right.
We made it.
We're home.
I grew so much as a character during this season.
Yeah.
Two full seasons.
Two full episodes.
Well,
I was supposed to return Neelix to this shadowy cabal,
but I've grown kind of attached to the fella.
So we abandoned that plan,
and we're home.
I don't think we should do that.
This cabal,
I don't remember much.
Remember, I hit my head.
You know, amnesia, headaches,
you know, bad gas.
A whole nine yards came from that.
But what I am going to say is that maybe we try to show up and see what this cabal is about.
And then just maybe I keep Neelix.
He's been pretty good to us.
He's been better to you guys than I've been.
Let's be honest.
I think we should set him free.
I agree with that.
What, set him free?
Yeah.
No.
He's been nicer to us than you.
Well, I'll be honest.
I'm a humble bumble.
Those are not words I would use to describe you
Humbumbumble?
Yes
I don't know, what do you guys want to do?
I think we should at least find this cabal
Because maybe they'll have other ghosts we can steal
Yeah,
let's ask around
Let's steal from the cabal
Let's do the cabal mutiny
Wait a second, we don't know anything about the cabal
We should find something out about it
before we decide we're going to mutiny it,
which means we would be part of it,
and then organize a mutiny?
We're going to have a whole ghost crew under our control.
No, we don't.
They're stuck on the boat.
We have to bring all of the Cabal onto the boat.
No, I'm saying if we go to the Cabal and steal their ghosts,
we can have more.
Turn them into ghosts?
That is an option.
I don't remember why they want Neelix,
But I'm sure there are some kind of ghost collectors or, you know, maybe I'm sure Neelix isn't,
you know,
really that like an important character.
I don't really remember much, but I am really fond of him and I would rather not give him up.
Maybe we could trick them. I don't know.
Give them an empty bottle or let's go research them.
Let's go see what the hell they're about, you know, because they threatened me.
I had a vision where they threatened me. They're going to come for me if I don't bring Neelix back.
So I think what we should do is get the jump on them first.
So normally when you try to find stuff out about a group,
where do you go?
The strip club.
Bar.
Yeah.
We were close.
We were at two ends of a different spectrum.
Yeah.
From Z to strip club.
There's no clothes.
Yeah.
Yeah, we should go to the bar.
Yes, we should try to find something out.
Well,
I mean, we could say we don't have to.
I think when you're in a bar,
we, you know, we would stay sober and then we can trick the drunk people.
Or,
or.
Okay, I'm listening.
We also get drunk.
That's a compelling argument.
And then go to the zoo.
We don't even know if there's a zoo here.
We haven't even looked yet.
We haven't even asked anyone.
We got to go to the bar first.
Is there a zoo?
in Lockport. Yeah, what do they do for fun around here?
Is it a zoo or the strip club?
It's got to be one or the other.
We've got the best zoo in the world.
Maybe it's the same.
Best damn
pet shop in town.
Oh.
What kind of
zoo
is up at 2 a.m.
playing jazz music?
Good news.
The animals take their clothes off.
they're naked
who is that good for
the other animals
freaks
the animals and the furries
so what do you think Tawny
yeah
Tawny's wearing clothes
he would probably like to
pop those things off
so Tawny's been standing there
listening to you guys make this discussion
and he's just like he's completely
like so head to toe
So are all of you.
You guys jumped into the ocean.
So you're dripping wet.
And he's just like, he keeps kind of like,
he's like, I don't care.
Yeah,
a bar sounds good.
Where's the nearest bar?
That way.
And I start walking.
Patches,
sniff it out.
I'm sniffing.
Not the one in your leg.
You guys turn down a street.
Sorry, all of my images got real shrunk.
I apologize.
I will fix this.
Not tonight,
but hold on.
In the past.
Also in the past.
In the future,
you will leave me a plate of hot coffee.
Also in the past.
Ignore that.
So you guys are walking down the street,
and it is a very crowded city,
But it's not quite as like dirty and grimy as maybe Dusk of All was.
The streets are crowded.
The buildings are incredibly close to each other.
They tower over each other.
The streets are very narrow.
So it feels like there's a lot kind of crowding in on you.
But the streets are clean.
There's not trash anymore.
You're not seeing tons of sign of homeless.
Even here by the docks, it's not looking too bad.
As you walk down the street, you see a bar,
a tavern with a sign outside the window that says Smolders.
And this is where you decide to turn in.
Smolders?
Smolders.
Twinklers.
Is it Smolders?
Holy crap.
Yeah, so my other...
Let me rephrase.
my other tavern is like this small it doesn't look like anything this is a slightly better version
this is a very normal bar that you walk into um it's not completely covered with demons i just
my my image failed so i had to upload another one real quick anyway um it's a totally normal uh
bar uh you see you do see a mixture of people there though you see um you know what looks like
yard worker or ship yard workers uh you see some women in there you see men that are kind of in
nicer dress um you also see a lot of people in robes and this is one thing you guys have noticed
as you walk towards the bar there's a lot of people in robes different colored robes but clearly
groups of sorts you can tell like there's like like they're always in like groups of two or three
these people in their roles.
Those are probably the cult members.
But there's different colors.
There's lots of different cults.
Maybe a lot of cults are called town.
There are different cults. That's what someone
told us last week.
Were they trustworthy?
Were they being difficult?
Give him a stress.
Your silence tells me
I'm right.
I mean, it was Vince Clyde trying to give
you very important exposition, and I think you
him to shut up.
He has been very uppity lately.
No,
he has not been.
He has been driving the ship
and helpful.
Literally.
And he won't shut up about it.
Behind the bar
is a very stout,
very tall looking woman.
Very much a working woman.
She's clearly the barkeep,
bar owner.
I would like to try to pickpocket someone
on the way to the bar.
Okay.
Yeah,
so as you walk
towards the bar,
you're going to
throw...
Let me get everybody in here.
This must have been why Schmulder was always
getting into a fight when he
ran ahead of everyone.
Because he was pickpocketing everybody along the way.
Yep.
Digging his brains mostly.
It's a victimless crime.
I like that when they're freshly dead.
Yeah, I'm going to have you roll your finesse to pickpocket a group of people wearing brown robes.
As you walk in, they're walking out.
You try to pickpocket them.
All right.
You successfully pickpocket them.
What you get is just like a bunch of folded up papers and a dog biscuit.
it amongst the papers are things like like just like a note to himself like you know like a laundry
list of things like like you know get dishes you know get dinner get bitches grocery list get
bitches uh but uh there's some receipts for things he's purchased uh but one of the things in there
is like a
it's like a flyer
that's been folded up and it
says welcome to the church
of the downward dog
and on the picture it shows
like a group of people smiling
but they all have like dog heads
on the side
can I take the dog biscuit and give it
chuckles
sure
I know it's not cat food but it's
clothes.
Disgusting.
All right.
I take it back then.
Screw you.
I put it under his hat.
All right.
On the flyer
for the Church of the Downward Dog,
it does have
a location and hours of
service listed.
Just want to add that on there.
So the dog biscuit has been
refused. It's one of those milk bone ones. I don't know if that
entices you at all.
Yeah, I'm not teething.
That's not what milk bones are for.
They're for your teeth?
That's why it's milk in the name?
Do I know the name of the cabal at all?
You don't.
You don't know the name of the cabal.
You can remember.
The details you remember is that they dressed all in black.
They had a slight accent making it clear they weren't from Duskball.
They did tell you you had to go to Lockport to return Neelix,
but they hadn't told you anything else.
Okay.
Or you don't remember,
rather, anywhere else.
Okay.
So I can't, like, just go up to the bartender and ask about this because I don't remember the specific name of the group.
I mean, you can go ask about them,
like, what you remember for sure.
All right.
I saunter up to the bartender.
All right.
Let me see your best saunter.
yeah work them shoulders you slut yeah yeah i'm real smudge too
super smudge what does that mean super smudge
walk like this walk like this yeah real smug like a fucking like a bed bug bed bug um
um and i go to the bartender is she is she is she a good looking lady or is she just an average
or is she kind of like is she bigger she's older she's older she's tall she's broad-shouldered
like a working woman um she probably was pretty handsome uh when she was younger but she's just
an older woman now like non-threatening but not really like super sexy either so i shouldn't hit
on her you she probably would make her day but uh it's you can do whatever you want i mean i laid
out the charm and just uh oh there i am captain patches mckenzie um formerly patches fitz-glyde
apparently.
Anyway,
I'm in Newentown and I'm looking
for some people that I
well,
frankly, I don't really remember too much
about them, but I do remember they were black robes
and they were into collecting
ghosts.
I was wondering if you could possibly
give me an information
and maybe I could buy you a drink.
Beautiful.
Great.
Excellent.
Charming.
Flirting.
you're pretty you know that right
I'm looking for information
also you're pretty
throw your consort
I'll throw my
consort alright
consort
consort it
any
modifiers
no
you are dripping wet
yeah i am and you smell like oh no you suddenly remember that you not 20 minutes
are jumped into the ocean so you are still relatively wet and kind of like you know i
don't know how much you've been cleaning yourself on the ship um so she kind of looks you up and down
she's not mean about it but she does like a little like oh oh honey uh listen uh i don't know if i
can help you uh you said you're new in town is that right yeah well i've been here before um i was
you know here before but i kind of well this is embarrassing i got a bad case of memory loss i hit
my head fell off a boat you know that old chestnut and uh i remember the group i i think they were
family friends acquaintances i don't remember but i know they wore black robes and uh yeah
trying to find them.
Well,
you're going to need a little bit more information than that, honey.
Lockport's the city of cults, honey.
You got a map there.
Let me see your map.
And she looks over the map you've just given her,
and she points to all those shaded areas,
and she goes, every one of these is an area owned by a different cult.
There's like 50 of them,
and a lot of them wear black robes.
You've got to be.
And really into the occult.
You've got to be more specific,
sweetheart,
if you need something more serious.
Can I jog my memory?
Can you jog your memory?
Well,
can I try to remember and then remember based on a roll?
Sure.
If you want to push yourself and take too straight to the dress,
you can give yourself an additional modifier to how do you want to remember
what you've done?
I just want to remember if I can,
I just want,
I would like to see if I can like roll,
uh, uh,
succeed in a role.
And then I would remember the name.
If you want to come up with the name and tell me that'd be cool.
If I not, then I don't remember.
Is that, is that something we can do?
Is that not really?
I will say if you,
let me take a look at your,
at the options here.
I'll say if you want to take two stress and push yourself and then roll your study, if you succeed,
you're going to remember kind of a key detail about what happened.
Just make sure you take the two stress,
too.
Okay, so two more stress.
Two stress.
you're going to roll your study with
plus one modifier.
Study.
Plus one.
Okay.
Martial.
Okay.
What do you do to jog your memory?
You're standing there in the bar talking to this lady
and you're like, ah,
think, think, think.
What is it that you do?
I'm getting frustrated because I was like,
you just told me that there's lots of places, and I'm looking at the map,
and I was like,
oh, I thought all those dark places were, that was water.
Oh, no.
Oh.
And it's like, I'm useless.
I swear, ever since I knew Ken,
and I started getting, like, really maudlin'.
Like,
my best friends,
like, they're like the ghost captain more than me,
and I can't remember what I'm here for, why I'm here.
Everything sucks,
and I just bang my head against the bar.
When you bang your head against the bar,
you have a moment of kind of clarity.
That scene where you were approached by this group kind of comes into your head once again.
And it's this group of black hooded figures.
Except this time you get a little bit more detail of the place that you're in.
You can smell like really thick,
heavy flowers,
like jasmine or something.
like a very,
like a hot summer night when you can really smell the flowers.
That's kind of what jogs your memory.
And maybe there's like a flower or perfume in the bar that kind of triggers it.
But all of a sudden you remember this smell,
this very distinctive smell of flowers.
Yeah, and I pull my head back.
Flowers!
Barkeep!
I remember flowers.
Okay.
Well.
Yeah.
Flowers.
They smelled like flowers.
like on a hot summer night.
Real, real flowery.
Real summery.
Real night.
Let me see your map again.
All right.
And I pull it out of my hat,
my little Ivy cap hat.
She looks at the map and she points
and she kind of like draws like a little circle
with her finger around it.
She's like,
this part of town,
the high district,
this is known for having like really nice,
nice scenery in the summer.
They call it the Garden District.
If you smelled like flowers,
that might be where you're looking at is over here.
But there's still like, you know, half a dozen cults that are over there.
I mean, shouldn't,
what are you even trying to do?
I don't know if I should be talking about this with anybody,
but maybe I could talk about it with you over dinner.
We're going to put a pause on that, and we're going to go see what Patches and Squish are also doing in the bar.
Or, sorry, I'm so sorry, Chuckles and Squish are doing in the bar.
I was going to go up and order a drink and a shoe.
Okay.
There's two bartenders working.
There's the one that is currently involved with Patches.
There's another,
it looks like a younger man,
and he's, like, scratching his head, and he's like,
so you want it all mixed in a shoe?
Yeah, your finest boot.
My finest boot.
Let me go check the lost and found.
And he disappears around the corner for a second,
and when he comes back,
he comes in with, like, a fine Victorian ladies boot.
You know, the one that's got, like, a little bit of an ankle with all the buttons on it.
Oh, perfect.
Will this do?
perfect awesome exactly what well we need two of them though uh he goes i think it was a pair hold
on uh and he goes back around the bar and he comes back and he's like oh sorry uh all i got left is
this kind of scuffed up muddy boot and what he puts down is like clearly a workman's boot that's
just caked in mud.
Oh,
that's perfect for him.
All right.
Well, he fixes...
Nod my head towards Juggles.
He fixes you the two drinks,
and he tells you it's going to be a coin
for the two drinks,
so you can go ahead and plop that down there.
A whole coin for two drinks?
Well,
yeah.
I mean,
you know, this is Lockport,
man.
City of sin, city of, you know, redemption.
Do we get to keep the boot?
Yeah, you can keep the boot.
All right.
Fine.
I give Juckles his workman's boot full of ale.
Oh, gee,
thanks.
You're welcome.
So how do you want to go about getting the information here?
Well,
we can ask about your downward dog thing.
I mean, you did find out about that.
Maybe we shouldn't tell people.
Maybe we should just go to that service at some point.
I guess it's just ours.
It's not a service.
Yeah,
but I don't know if this is the one that we're looking for.
No,
but maybe if we went there, we would find out more info.
But,
yeah, it may not be the one that we're looking for.
That's true.
All right.
Yeah, we can do that.
any other ideas
I mean usually in bars I just
root around on the floor but there's not really a good reason
also I dance on tables
but
that's probably not appropriate here
this is only the first food of the night
Patches the bartender
has politely declined your
offer for dinner.
So you make your way back to the table
where Chuckles and
Squish are sitting.
Flowers!
I get up to him and I just start banging the table.
Flowers!
Like almond,
rice,
wheat.
What kind of
flowers are we talking here?
Lilacs.
I didn't know you could make a flower
on a lilacs.
Persimmonance.
All the flowers.
I remember the cult
smelled like flowers.
Or I was in a place with flowers.
And she says up at the
higher echelons of this
lockport is
very flowery.
High Street.
The higher street.
The highest street on High Street.
The Garden District.
In the flower district.
Okay.
I think that's where the cabal's at.
The cult.
The cult of the cabal.
So we should go there.
Yeah.
I mean, after we're done drinking your shoes.
Can we try to make friends with some people at a neighboring table?
Yeah.
Squish.
Yeah,
absolutely.
All right.
Let's do that.
Oh,
wait.
Patches.
You said they were wearing
black robes?
Yeah, but apparently everybody
wears black robes.
Actually,
all he said was flowers.
He just came back and he was yelling flowers.
I know, but I kind of figured
the bar wasn't that big,
so I kind of overheard.
It's like the cult that smells like flowers.
Yeah, well,
Patches has told you about
vision before.
It's come up
about the black robes.
He won't stop talking about it.
Yeah.
So,
can we find a table
full of people in black robes?
Yeah.
The bar is
filled with a couple
of people wearing darker robes.
You kind of notice that in the corner,
there's
a group of two or three of them
that are wearing these darker robes.
Three people
in the back of the bar.
let's go
I go too
I guess
patches can come too
why can't I come
I said you can
alright let's go
okay
so you approach the bar
you
these figures are kind of talking amongst themselves
you can't really see their faces
What's up,
people?
Oh, hi there.
Oh, I love your robes.
Would you like a shoe?
You don't have a shoe.
Only me.
I was offering to buy them one.
Oh,
how kind.
Would you like one too,
Juckles?
Shoes all out.
A round of shoes.
You there.
I am Patches McKenzie,
captain of a ship,
the Cuddly Clab.
And these are my co-captains,
Captain Chuckles and Captain Squish.
Hello.
Captain Chuckles.
Say hello.
Yeah.
See?
Yarr!
Nailed it.
Okay,
roll your concert rolls.
I knew I should have upgraded that one.
That failed.
I lost it.
I thought I had sway.
Oh,
how?
The women kind of,
the one woman kind of pushes back her,
her hood.
You can now see she's a woman.
She's a very nice looking girl.
And she kind of looks at the three of you and she's like,
excuse me.
You get the finest to.
Why can't I see her?
You've got a girlfriend.
Oh,
I say very loudly to make a point.
That's true.
Thank you for acknowledging finally.
in the game
we don't really need your
your shoes
can I help you with something
yeah we were looking
for a
cult to join
that smells like flowers
yeah we want to join them
the flower cult
I mean I
I'm sure there is a cult
for flowers but
I don't know I mean
And if you want,
you can join our cult.
We don't have flowers,
but we're always looking for new members.
And the other two women there pull down their hoods,
and it's three beautiful,
young-looking women.
Hello, nurse.
They're not triplets.
They are different women.
Oh, different women.
Are they stepsisters?
All three of you get the finest boots.
Are they available?
it's the center out of character
guys I think I'm going to join this cult
what kind of cult are you guys
sex cult
you can't see me
I got my fingers crossed
the church of perpetual woe
what does woe mean
is that like a type of kiss
no
woe is me,
as they say.
Wait, perpetual,
loud and annoying.
Nobody wants to be
woeful all the time, right?
She takes out a little
flyer and she passes it to you.
This is kind of similar to the size
of the flyer you received from the Church of the
Downward Dog.
And it's
just showing a bunch of women on the cover,
just kind of like in their faces in that sort of
exaggerated Greek
tragedy mask, which is just like,
and on the other side
it has their hours of service
location.
It is located
in the same area
patches that the bartender
opened up. It's kind of in that high street area
but
it has their hours of service
on there and
it has their little saying.
You guys were a real
bummer.
But wait, are you guys located on High Street?
There's like 20 cults on High Street,
yeah.
Oh,
okay.
So we could join any of those cults and, you know, it'd be fine because we'd be in High Street, right?
A more fun one.
Because, like,
you know, is there a cult of perpetual,
like, you know, bliss?
Is there a cult of perpetual orgasm?
Well, I was trying to be polite.
They know.
Your comments and the kind of demeanor in which you've come up to the bar has caught the ire of what you now realize is the body is the bartender,
or I'm sorry, is the bouncer kind of at this club.
Oh,
great.
And he's kind of making eyes at you,
especially since the three of you kind of just came up and started hounding these three young women.
I make eyes back at them.
Oh, come on.
What kind of eyes?
they're kind of like crazy
but like side-eyed
but then I'll switch to the other side
really quickly
oh so he doesn't notice that you're giving him side-eye
yeah and then I raise my eyebrows
and squint one eye
but he can't see that eye
because it's the eye that's far away from him
right and also you've been drinking
so you don't have as much control over your face
as you once thought
I'm not even halfway through my first boot
okay
I mean, we're always taking new members.
The Church of Perpetual Woe tends to attract a lot of women,
if you are interested in that.
But,
I mean, it's open to anyone,
really, who wants to join.
And one of the girls in the back says,
We have story night on Fridays.
I have stories.
What you do on Fridays?
Sad ones.
Every Friday?
Yeah.
Oh my God.
That sounds really, really sad.
Well, it was nice meeting you.
Good luck.
And Chuckles goes and sits down back at a table.
Let's just turn to another table.
Like just turn up.
Turn 180 degrees.
what's your deal
what cult are you from
well are you the kid yeah those guys were
how much did the GM prepare ahead of time
let me tell you
that last cult there were a bunch of squares
yeah
and I think they
perhaps have daddy issues
and then Swish looks over his shoulder at him and goes
but they were really pretty
yeah so what about you
uncloak
eyes or anything yourself unhood on the show yourself that's up chanting oh that's gonna
that's gonna that's gonna attract the bouncer the bouncer walked away
yeah thanks to uh squish's facial spasms very confusing thing he was doing
all right so do they on hood what they look like i don't need those what the what the what the
babies look like all right are you asking for another group at the table to unhood are you
demanding they unhood no no we tried we led we led with um consort
we came in drunk on
on shoe
just demanded
themselves
rowdy at the bar
people are kind of quickly leaving
they can tell you're
you know
out of towners for sure
you enjoy your boot
all of you except
I don't think you got a boot of ale
did you Patches
no I'm already drunk
oh okay you're drunk on your own
on your own booth
yeah I can't take care of myself
he got drunk on his own supply
yeah
but once you finish
the last of it the bouncer comes
over and he goes alright boys
you're starting to turn away
business here
yeah and who do you think you are
yeah take your hood off
yeah on hood
I thought this was a sock part.
I'm sorry.
I thought a man could...
He's not wearing a hood.
He is, in fact, a very tall,
bald man
and is taking offense.
Is it Tawny?
He's got that ugly mask.
I don't know.
I forgot to...
Tawny in disguise?
No.
Although Tawny is there with you.
He's just been kind of watching this whole trade.
uselessly
now Tawny has been a thug
in the past
he does kind of
you know
he does look thug-ish
and is also bald
and he makes eye contact with the bartender
or I'm sorry with the bouncer
and they kind of have a moment of
bald man solidarity
bald man nod
you ever meet two bald men in an elevator
It's weird.
Yeah, you're the freak then.
You hairy weirdo.
Are you saying bald men are freaks?
Only in the elevator.
No, you're the one with hair.
No, you're the freak in the elevator.
In an elevator with two people, two bald guys, you're the freak.
All right.
Tawny,
can you help us here?
There must be some kind of bouncer code, you know.
Yeah.
Bald code.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Please.
Yeah.
So Tony gets up to talk to the bouncer and gives you guys a few more minutes of peace at your table.
But yeah,
you are sitting there.
Oh, so he chases the bouncer away?
Yeah.
Well, they're going to have a talk.
they're gonna you know what's really
happening is Tawny's over there apologizing
profusely for your behavior
oh he's gonna regret that
he's like you know they just they've
had a rough couple of
months they've been at sea I know
that they're pain in the ass he's kind of like pushing some
coin into his hand
I shot over
shoot
shoot for my friends
meanwhile the bouncer is giving him some
like recognition and
These guys seem like real jackasses.
They're having a conversation.
Having a moment.
Having a mo.
A romantic mo.
Alright, cool.
I'm going to have each of you roll your study.
I'm sorry, your survey.
critical success
we don't even need you guys
yeah I mean if you guys want to roll you can
but damn it
my survey's so fucking hard
oh Patch is almost
dead
so you guys
have the map out that the captain
gave you and you're looking at the
at the
the woman kind of uh didn't physically circle but kind of pointed out to you and we can cross off
the the one for perpetual woe yeah yeah you can you go ahead and put a big x through that one
through that one uh one down you know 50 to go um and in kind of a moment of frustration
squish you take the page and you flip it over and on the back you've seen that the captain in his
familiar hand has written a name and has written some initials.
The name that he reads is called, it says Westervale,
W-E-S-T-E-R-V-A-L-E,
and then the letter is S-U-K.
Westervale,
S-U-K?
Yeah.
Westervale sucks.
Lol.
Alright.
Can I ask the bartender what the hell that means?
Yeah.
Oh, you approach the bar.
What is Westervale?
She looks at it.
She looks down at what you're pointing out.
And she's like, I don't know what the hell Westervale is.
but S-U-K,
that's the Society of Universal Knowledge.
That's the university up on High Hill.
Do they wear black cloaks?
No, they're a bunch of students.
They're all, you know,
wearing tunics and I don't know, whatever students wear.
It's a college,
but it's a university.
Then I walk away.
Hey,
guys,
we should go to the scholarly unit guys up on High Street.
High Hill.
I already completely forgot what it was.
You mean the Society of Universal Knowledge?
Society of Universal Knowledge,
yeah.
Why?
When Tani hears you say Society of Universal Knowledge,
as he's approaching, he's like, oh,
yeah, I was going to study there.
That's why it sounded so familiar.
He would study it, suck.
Got him.
I can really imagine you,
Tawny,
walking around in a sweater that says S-U-K on it.
Yeah.
You can't team up like that, Tawny.
You have a lot to learn.
You sure you want to go to school instead of being our intern?
Got a lot to learn from us.
Yeah, we can really teach you so much.
Noogie.
Yeah,
yeah,
they're like this
famous Lockport University,
S.U.K. Lockport.
Suck!
Lockport Suck!
Suck!
Alright.
Can we get more shoes before we go,
guys?
You got the coin?
I got whiskey.
do you just need the actual shoes
I've got a
I've got a boot
and you share
the boot of whiskey together
no
he poured it into my boot
that was him giving me his booze
disgusting
so he's pouring out he's laughing at like a
cat from the sink
yeah
what are you doing juggles
uh nothing i guess
just watching this go down
i just just snidely remarking
at things that are happening
um
yeah we were trying to talk to people
they're not really interested in talking to us
um
maybe that is a group
no
but i'm not sure my
my social skills are any better well you've left you you drink the final boot away and stumble
onto the streets um knowing that you probably should check out uh suk at some point uh and
track down this well do whatever you want with the name westervale um
and uh you know that there's a also at high street there is another potentially the cult
that you are looking for is there yeah we've got it we've got a lot of leads here and we've got a
place we could drop off tawny for a little while to get out of our hair maybe he'll learn some
useful skills and some manners.
All right.
Married both ones.
I got a little black blood from being down those chimneys.
Now be no swim now.
You don't want your governor.
I am from Australia.
Oh, wait, that's not the right one.